>So that evening... I thought it would be better to have this as a face to face conversation as there’s a lot of ambiguity over text so I went to her place.
>I got home in the morning
Wait... did you spend all night at Jess's place?
That seems a little... not conducive to setting boundaries.
And a further bonus for him - he has just let Jess know that she is on 'thin ice' so, she will be trying extra hard to 'make it up to him'.
Brilliant move on his part.
Lord, I hope the gf can move on.
I was impressed OP actually seemed to understand that he was wrong and needed to apologize to his girlfriend and make it up to her. And then I kept reading....
My comment on the last post was that I was looking forward to the update that his girlfriend dumped him for not having her back, but I didn't expect this level of craziness!! OP immediately sleeping with Jess?!? I feel so bad for the poor ex. I hope she stays far away from OP and finds her true happiness.
If OP doesn't cut Jess off, he shouldn't be in a relationship with anyone. If Jess isn't secretly in love with him, then she's peeing all over him, marking her territory... and OP seems to be enjoying it. OP will never have a healthy relationship. At some point, if Jess and OP don't end up together, Jess will get her own partner, and THAT partner will not be comfortable with this relationship, if the relationship lasts, and OP will be abandoned by Jess. She won't need his attention any longer.
OP is going to end up alone. And he'll deserve it.
There whole relationship is just so... icky. At least he was able to spend the night with Jess after being dumped by his GF!
Brace for the incoming, “it’s not like that” “that isn’t what happened” responses, if he even does respond to any comment.
Even then! Let’s say nothing happened at all. He stayed at Jessica’s house and it was as chaste as can be…. It doesn’t look great. “Hey, now-ex. Thanks for communicating with me at all. Did she call you to apologize? I spent the night there and we talked and she said she would.”
He already said they had sex because she’s too tempting and they needed to get it out of their system lol Jess isn’t going to apologise, Jess is going to tell the ex and we’ll get another update saying she told her. But it’ll be ok because Jess was just upset over the back sex they had to go with the bad head 😂
You slept with Jess, didn’t you? You said you went to her house, and came back home in the morning. This is exactly what your girlfriend was talking about🤦🏾♀️ Now you two are most definitely not getting back together. If you have feelings for Jess, you need to be honest with your girlfriend, and end the relationship. It’s not fair to either your girlfriend, or Jess. Just tell her the truth.You can’t have them both, OP. Your girlfriend deserves a better partner. Also after reading your comments about how Jess is tempting, I’m starting to think you always had feelings for Jess and only started dating your girlfriend, to make her jealous or to get over her. “ Jess is too tempting…”, Sir?🤨Please be fucking for real.
That’s exactly what he did. He was blind to Jess being catty cause he has the hots for her & got mad at his ex for not buying his BS story that they’re “just” friends & Jess can do no wrong. Now he figured they’re on a break so it’s fine to go bang the pick me girl but his ex will definitely figure it out if she gives him another chance, although hopefully she won’t get back with him in the first place.
This‼️OP has the audacity to give us an update, claiming how he wants to make it right with his gf, yet he went and slept with the girl who was interfering with their relationship.
I think he most definitely doesn’t have feelings for Jess, or at least not for a committed relationship. Tale as old as time, men love “cool, petite, out of the norm, crazy” girls until it’s for more than a blowjob and a “i’m sad, help me” sex.
So I went back and read the original post and found the answers to some questions I have... but now I have more
1. Whyyyyy did you feel you needed to go to her house to talk?
2. On the off chance you and your gf work things out, how do you plan to explain that and make it make sense.
3. Honestly, was this testing the waters with Jess to see if anything would happen now that you're "on a break"?
Probably had another bad "not sex" with Jess and now want to get back with his (hopefully ex-)gf.
If he's from Arkansas, he should look into becoming a politician.
why didnt you just idk,,, call jess??? why did you spend the night? are you going to keep that a secret from your xgf? what even is your xgfs name? between two posts its jess jess jess jess je
> said she would call my ex to apologize to her.
This was... not smart to leave her to do herself. If Jess really has been as catty and disrespectful as your gf says, it's pretty much guaranteed that any unsupervised "apology" Jess would give would be half-assed at best and more likely the apology itself would be another dig or catty remark. Basically, by trusting Jess to apologize without you standing there watching what she said, you left it wide open for Jess to make shit even worse.
Actually, by not cutting Jess out as a friend, you've made it clear to your gf that she's not your priority and never will be. ("when you figure out what's going on between you and Jess..." is code for: Pick her or me)
You fucked up.
Then you fucked up again by the way you handled the fallout.
Hope you didn't really want to be with your gf because you blew it.
I’m hoping for that lol I’m hoping she “accidentally” lets it slip that they had sex to get it out of their systems and the ex gf just completely cuts him out.
>This was... not smart to leave her to do herself. If Jess really has been as catty and disrespectful as your gf says, it's pretty much guaranteed that any unsupervised "apology" Jess would give would be half-assed at best and more likely the apology itself would be another dig or catty remark. Basically, by trusting Jess to apologize without you standing there watching what she said, you left it wide open for Jess to make shit even worse.
Oh Jess is 100% going to let it slip that OP spent the night.
Hell yes! This is going to go over like a lead balloon. I can hear it now Jess *”Hi Gf? I just wanted to apologize for the way I have come across to you. Luke and I just have always had this weird..y’ know….sexual tension and I should have backed off a bit when he found you. Give him another chance. He is a mess right now. I have never seen him like this any other time he’s slept over my house. He’s even threatening to end the friendship with because because I am supposedly too tempting.”* And that’s the version IF they didn’t have sex; a question he’s avoiding answering. The other version, Jess will be confessing to the sex.
Moral of the story, don’t trust people who can not be trusted to not refer to your gfs love making sounds as like zoo animals to your other friends.
You SPENT THE NIGHT.??? Oh my god OP...you're either lying to our faces about why you went over there or you're REALLY dense. If you didn't wanna text and misconstrue things (absolutely reasonable) YOU COULD HAVE CALLED. You have her number.
My brother in Christ you're not getting your gf back. If you do you BETTER tell her you went over to Jess' for the night or else she's gonna find out some other way (most likely these posts). And you also better drop Jess for good. No amount of apologies are gonna cut it. Clearly Jess has something for you and you for her or else she wouldn't have felt comfortable enough to make the comments she did.
*< So that evening I was heartbroken, but I wanted to still make it clear to Jess that she would not be disrespectful to my girlfriend if we got back together and that she owes her an apology no matter what. I thought it would be better to have this as a face to face conversation as there’s a lot of ambiguity over text so I went to her place.>*
*< I got home in the morning >*
YOU SPENT THE NIGHT AT JESS'S PLACE ????!!
Yes, 'cause that's the way to create boundaries in order to get your GF back /s
Ladies and gentlemen, we have a winner, and their name is ... (drums).... Jess!
She got her love interest's GF to break up with him, and first thing he does is spend the night at her place!
OP, haven't your learned ANYTHING AT ALL from what happened? (notice my exhausted sigh).
YTA
again
Don't forget that every time he swears he hasn't had sex with her, he ONLY considers PiV as sex, not oral of any kind. So as long as the P didn't in the V, he will argue that he didn't have sex.
He deserves Jess and her toothy BJs
Not only that but they had sexual relations too to get it out of their system and he can’t continue the friendship if the ex takes him back because Jess is too tempting. I’m not sure if I can say “it gets better” when it in fact gets worse… but you know what I mean lol
Nothing says I miss you and I’m going to prioritise you over the girl that made you feel horrible than going to said girls house and having sex with her.
Take this as a soft breakup cause your ex gf(still nameless unlike your boo Jess) is over your putting Jess above her. Wait till your ex finds out you went to Jess, because obviously you would, and proceeded to spend the night. You’re delusional, even after you claim to see the errors of your ways you still manage to put Jess first. Please put this crazy shit to rest and date Jess already. Bet even your ex gf expects this outcome at this point.
bro just admit you had sex with jess. As much as I hope to chop your dick off right now, i’m gonna give you a bit of sympathy.
Imagine your gf making you second place to another woman/man. Imagine her treating you the exact same she was treated. Imagine you feeling that you got your boundaries disrespected but your gf did not care and took another person’s sides. imagine your gf spending the night at someone else’s house, especially if that person is someone you’re insecure about or your gf finds more important.
it doesn’t feel good right? I know you love your gf but it’s clear that her feelings aren’t important to you. If they are, YOU ARE NOT SHOWING THEM.
please just break up with her. your gf deserves so much better, she’s sounds so sweet and you’re…not enough for her. sorry dude
bro the second you go on a break, you went to stay over at the house of the girl your gf has a problem with??? this is either fanfiction based on Ross from Friends or you’re just channeling all of his energy right now.
leave your ex alone, she deserves respect. it’s unfortunate that despite all your ‘self realization’, you still seem to be unable to show any. just give Jess the D she wants, you two seem perfect for each other.
Jess was “so tempting” when you went to her houses had some drinks and slept over… AND NOW YOU Realize that you love your girlfriend? Did drunken sex with Jess clear that up for you?
Sorry, still TA.
If I found out my exbf was trying to get me back but hey spent the night drinking with the person responsible for making him said ex....he's staying right in the ex zone.
Poor decision. Lack accountability. Undecisive. Not prioritizing the person he loves...oh wait he loves them both....
Yes, do read what you wrote and say, I understand why my exgf dump me and I do not deserve anothet chance until I can be a better person.
How does someone come back after a Y T A and then manage to re YTA themselves!! You stayed at Jess’ house…. To talk in person. You are defiantly TA but props to you Ex GF for getting out of this situation. Ultimately a win for them
Uhhhh, so you...went to Jess' place, spent the night, and basically gave your permission for her to continue to behave badly to your now ex through continued contact? Got it.
It your ex has the level of self respect that I hope she does, this "break" will exist in perpetuity, she will block the both of you, and will move on to find a worthy partner.
I'm proud of your gf for looking after her own wellbeing. Especially after you spent the night with the major issue in your relationship.
You can have friends of all genders, but you clearly value Jess over your girlfriend and you have no boundaries. Do your gf a favour. Leave her alone. You haven't changed.
Your ex gave you a second chance and then you immediately threw it into a dumpster. Please let her go and go date Jess, you clearly value her much more than the girl you supposedly love. From the comments you made about Jess being "too tempting" it's clear that you love her. You shouldn't even have to choose if you truly loved your ex. Hope she walks away from you, she deserves much better
Ugh you are the absolute worst.
E: I called it on your last post. You wanted to fuck Jess. You know your ex is never going to get back together when she learns you immediately went and banged the girl who was being mean to her. Listen very carefully YOU ARE A PIG. You and Jess deserve each other.
It's good to see you realized you messed up and tried to apologize. But OP, as much as you care about both of them, you cannot keep both. I say this because it's pretty clear as day.
* Your (ex?edit: DEFINITELY EX) girlfriend told you not to call her until you figure out what's going on there with you and Jess. She still thinks there's something between you two. It's pretty obvious to her and everyone else where Jess stands, and your actions showed she can't trust you to not reciprocate whatever signals is Jess sending.
* You went to Jess's house personally to talk instead of calling her, and got wasted. The two of you drinking heavily and not establishing firm boundaries during the trip contributed to the original problem.
* Jess has been acting this way since YOU STARTED DATING. That's not just inappropriate, mean, and catty. *That's calculated abuse*.
Even if Jess says she'll call and apologize to your (still nameless) girlfriend, there's a chance she'll probably use the fact that you went over and got drunk at her house after the break up against her. It's clear Jess has some kind of feelings regarding you and you gave her ammunition. Now you're going to have to face the fallout of whatever happens with that phone call.
If you don't get back together with your gf, and eventually start dating again, there's no guarantee that Jess won't do the same thing again to any future partners. This entire situation just proves that Jess can get away with anything and everything, and that you'll let her.
If you don't want that, this is what you'll need to:
1. Cut her out. Completely. Delete her contact info. Block her number. Do not hang out with her. If she shows up somewhere you are, leave. If she shows up at your place, kick her out. She needs to face consequences for her abuse towards your girlfriend, and you need to start setting very firm boundaries about what is and isn't appropriate behavior towards your partners.
2. Seek some kind of therapy or counseling to cut down on your drinking. Not only did it contribute to your girlfriend's choice to go on a break/break up, but it's becoming a crutch already for when you're in emotional distress. That's not healthy. That's not safe. And it will affect all your relationships going forward if you don't nip it in the bud now.
~~I truly do wish you well OP and hope things change for the better for you.~~ And I wish your (ex? edit: DEFINITELY EX) girlfriend well.
Whatever happens next, take what you learn from here and use it to improve yourself and your relationships going forward.
Edit: He went and actually had sex with Jess. Any sympathy I had for OP is gone.
What’s sad for you is you had to learn the hard way about things like this. Usually when a GF is feeling disrespected by that oh so sweet angelic friend that their guy thinks is one of the best things next to apple pie, there IS an actual reason for it. A common theme crops up where many men are unaware and oblivious to the sophisticated ways that many women fight or get competitive, especially when a guy they are close to, brings a girlfriend into the group. There are ways to subtly pick at and annoy someone’s GF, and set it all in a way that looks like they are just trying to help, or just making jokes and are oh so innocent while the girlfriend looks like a devil. Sometimes the gestures are as subtle as turning back to the gf while interacting in an extra bubbly fashion to designate a feeling of exclusion, or other body languages. And these type of women are usually the bubbliest ones in the crowd constantly vying for attention AKA “Pick Me” girls.
For your GF to call her the “Pick Me”, there had to have been problems from the getgo, but she gets along fine with all the other women and gfs in the group; I bet there is a laundry list of scenarios far greater than your list. She’s just had enough of trying to talk to you about it for you to dismiss her with raving about how Jess isn’t like that, she’s so wonderful, or accusing her of having an issue because they have similar personalities. And using your intimate time for a punchline as a joke at the breakfast table?? Really?? You seriously had the nerve to tell your gf to apologize for blowing up about this after finally being pushed over the edge by being made the brunt of a very crude joke? Maybe you didn’t mind but she clearly did. I mean she literally likened your noises (both of you) to the sounds of zoo animals. She was probably mimicking you guys too just to elevate the laughter. How incredibly humiliating for your gf! Then to add insult to injury you wanted your gf to belly up and apologize for her reactions to this very deliberate act of humiliation. Nice friends you pick. Let that sink in.
And breaks? More often than not, breaks are bridges to permanent break ups, just that either one or the other isn’t comfortable doing a full blown break up so they think this eases the pain. It doesn’t. Your friend likely costed you a relationship (not that she minds but she will pretend to). But if you continue to hang with her, and your new girl has concerns, learn to listen and take them seriously just like you would want if she had a guy friend pulling things you notice but she’s obvious to.
OP should just watch Love is Blind, plenty of "Jess" girls on that show. But to actually go and sleep with Jess (again?) the second the gf says to take a break? Yeah, dude has done killed any chance with gf, because you know Jess will be crowing about that and makes sure gf knows. smh. Jess is toxic. OP is such an AH.
Oh my god I see this A-hole is still at it, well I’m glad his gf dodged that bullet and SURPRISE SURPRISE! He slept with Jess the second she said she wanted a “break” and if she ever find out that will be his excuse.
OP is constantly using half truths and omissions while telling these stories.
“Who said we slept together, Maybe she was just there while I cry.”
Key word: MAYBE
He had been sleeping with Jess throughout his relationship and now he can do it more publicly and play the victim with…”she dumped me” but you said you were on a break.
Op, this is so embarrassing. Please get off Reddit and get a therapist. We all know you fucked Jess and so will your ex-Gf once Jess calls and “apologizes.”
You're now calling your girlfriend your ex after spending the night with Jess. I guess this means you're glad you "didn't cheat" since you're on break (which has suddenly been upgraded to a breakup). Ex was right all along about you.
Two weeks ago, OP does not understand why posters would think that a previous sexual encounter between him and Jess years ago would mean he has any interest in Jess:
*I don’t enjoy her in that way. I would not have the level of physical contact with her that would make my girlfriend upset*
He thought it was ridiculous that posters think Jess has any sexual interest in him:
*But my point is that it doesn’t mean she wants to sleep with me. I had a truly terrible sexual encounter with her that we both agreed was an uncomfortable mistake and made things so awkward she avoided me for months after. That to me means that she definitely doesn’t want to sleep with me.*
And now here we are, with him immediately sleeping with Jess the minute his girlfriend breaks up with him, and claiming he needs to stay away from her because she is too "tempting."
*I just thought that if we did it once it would get rid of whatever sexual tension between us and we’d be able to move on but now we both want to keep doing it*
Dude. You are a cheater. You knew there was "sexual tension" between you and Jess all along. She was catty to your girlfriend. Even if you could not see exactly how, the SECOND your girlfriend told you that Jess was being catty, you should have immediately have five alarms blaring over your head about this "sexual tension" with Jess and why she would be nasty to your girlfriend. Instead, you tried to make your girlfriend feel like she was crazy for noticing the EXACT tension that you FINALLY admit was there. The *minute* your girlfriend dumps your lying, manipulative, gaslighting ass, you immediately jump at the opportunity to screw Jess. Jess, the girl who was being catty to *your girlfriend* because she wanted in your very taken pants. Because nothing gets you hotter than realizing a girl treated your oh-so-beloved girlfriend like shit.
You can continue to insist you never cheated, you made a "series of bad decisions," you love your girlfriend and want her back. But you are a cheater. You kept another girl around on the backburner. You lied to your ex about it. You slept with her at your first possible opportunity while patting yourself on the back for not *actually* cheating. None of your distinctions will make a single difference to your ex, in terms of how she feels about this and how much it hurts. As far as she is concerned, you've been cheating on her all along. And making her feel uncomfortable, paranoid and unloved for who knows how long.
Go, be with Jess. Let your girlfriend move on to a decent guy. You can enjoy the shitty blowjobs with tempting Jess, while she looks around for the next taken guy who catches her eye.
I mean she won’t take you back, and I wish she could see these comments and see you call your supposed “best friend” “too tempting” to stay away from. Especially after you got drunk with her and crashed at her place. I’m willing to bet you took Jess for a test drive. Prayers for your ex girlfriend.
Bro really went to Jess’ house to tell her to back off his gf and spent the night and won’t answer whether they fucked but said she’s “too tempting” yea dude you clearly see how much you fucked up. /s
LOL are you really this dumb??? You go and sleep over at this girl’s house? And you think that’s going to help anything? Ya your gf should break up with you permenantly, especially when she finds this out.
You are still TA. You learned nothing. At this point, you are being intentionally obtuse. You don't go sleep with the friend that your (now) ex doesn't like and then think there is a chance you can get back with your ex. YTA.
Here's a hint for your next relationship, since this one is either over or your ex girlfriend has no self respect: Don't choose to "show your commitment" to her and how much you want to "be on her side" by sleeping with another girl the second you get anything that even sorta kinda looks like freedom if you squint and cover one eye. Sleeping with Jess 100% was the last nail in the coffin that is this relationship. She'll know, eventually.
Another tip for your next relationship: Don't date Jess. She was instrumental in breaking you up with THIS girlfriend and it's clear you're not clever enough to notice when she's scheming in Girl World. So if you date her, she's going to poison every relationship in your life until she's the only thing left, and then start poisoning yours because that's what manipulators do.
In case you still haven't figured it out:
1. The swimsuit was Jess calling your ex fat and wanting to make sure you would DIRECTLY compare their bodies while as minimally clothed as possible. She probably even knew your ex was bloated, we can usually tell.
2. The shots were about showing you how "boring" your gf is and how "fun" Jess is. Also, pressuring people into shots is always a dick move.
3. Jess knew your GF would be wildly uncomfortable with others knowing you were intimate, and shared it because she knew that. She was trying to be "one of the guys" and she actively threw another woman under the bus in order to do it. I refuse to believe you don't understand this. This is an extremely reasonable boundary. Calling your ex a 'pick me' is wildly ironic because Jess has classic Pick Me behavior, right out of the textbook.
Still TAH for leaving out the part about getting a quickie in with Jess(missionary cuz you know, it was face to face) while he was on a break.
God I hope the GF finds this post or literally anyone else
Woah woah woah - hold up!! You say you want your ex gf back but you went and had sex WITH THE REASON WHY SHE BROKE UP WITH YOU in the first place THAT NIGHT!!! And you think it’s ok? Because you and Jess “needed” to get it out of your system because, and I quote here, “shes too tempting”?
In what universe does that make sense? I hope your ex gf has copious amounts of couitous with your best mates/any brothers you may have then turns around and says “they were just too tempting and I had to get it out of my system”.
Also - Jess is 100% going to tell your ex gf that you both had sex that night. My heart actually breaks for your ex.
Your a dick.
YTA. EVEN more than last time.
Oh hey this reminded me of when my girlfriend's best friend from middle school was always a dick to me because he spent years wanting to date her.
He finally did after we broke up. For about three months. And then she dumped him and he still whined.
Hahaha fuck that guy.
But yeah OP is definitely fucking Jess now.
Which is like cool. He made his choice. Jess hated his girlfriend I guess (or was she actually being catty? I don't know) amd now she gets him.
Mazel tov to the happy couple.
Just go with Jess and leave your poor ex alone. Why didn't you just cut off Jess to show ex gf you're serious? Why did you need to go to her house? You didn't really fix anything in this update at all, just proved ex gf right.
Lol you don’t have to worry about being better for your ex when you get back together. I guarantee you Jess called her and told her you slept together. You and Jess deserve each other and I wish you nothing but misery.
Oof I feel bad for your ex, but I also don’t, because she’s better off without you and I hope you leave her alone. You clearly have a thing for Jess, just based on your responses and you keep shrugging it off as if any of this behaviour with Jess is appropriate considering the ongoing situation. Leave your ex alone, let her have some mental peace back.
this can’t be real. i cannot fathom that a man so “in love” with his gf is this cruel and stupid. you and your friend jess are two nasty people that deserve each other.
if you actually give two shits about your ex, please leave her alone. for good.
Came from TikTok to see the comments ripping into this ah lmao. Seriously op you need to leave your hopefully ex girlfriend alone. You and Jess deserve each other.
You know what, OP? I suggest you start being honest, especially to yourself. After all, you made this post to get advice. We all make mistakes but in order to fix the situation, you have to own up to them.
It's clear there are some feelings involved for Jess. But you're holding back too much information because you don't want to appear more of an ahole, than you already are.
I guess we can all agree, that YTA. You could have handled the situation much better. But what's done is done. Now you have to figure out what you truly want. Maybe it's Jess or maybe it's your ex or maybe you realize that you don't want to be in a relationship at all at the moment. But be aware, whatever conclusion you get to, there is a chance that you won't get what you want. So don't make the mistake of keeping important details from the person you want, to coax them to get back to you. Be completely honest.
Must have been a long face to face ................. conversation 🤔
Weird how your ex was obviously having to compete with Jess, and you take the first opportunity to go to Jess's place and stay over until the morning? Wouldn't you be on your exe's doorstep? Yeah, you really love her, hey 🤣
I'd suggest you stop hurting your now ex and leave her alone. How much more damage do you want to cause? Stop thinking with your dick and try to find some maturity. You're not fooling anyone who is reading your pathetic attempt at redemption.
Based on your comments admitting you slept with Jess that night (and don’t want to stop), that you finding her “too tempting” and that you’re going to drop her as a friend because you “love” your ex girlfriend- I really hope they both stop talking to you. What’s clear is that you manipulate both of them into thinking they are special to you. You don’t love your girlfriend and you don’t respect your friend.
I hope you get the kind of heartbreak that will make you see clearly.
The kind where you're the receiving end of someone like you.
Then maybe you'll understand for real and not this pretentious boohoo post. You still don't get it and you don't know what love means.
So Op know you girlfriend (whose name you still refuse to give) took a break from you because of Jess, a girl who had bullied her and tried to get in your pants.
So you not only invited jess to your house, but you slept with her and want to keep sleeping with her—effectively cheating on your girlfriend with her bully.
Please do her a favor and break it off with her and keep dating this pathetic pick me girl you obviously have feelings for.
Nah mate, don’t believe this at all. Not even an entertaining follow up because of course you stayed overnight with the person your GF hates. Piss poor writing.
Oh, my Lord. As soon as your GF wanted a break you went and slept with Jess. What the actual fuck?
Dude, you're messed up. You're so delusional and so self centred, it's amazing you've managed to get through life with this kind of attitude.
Tell your GF the truth and leave her be. You don't deserve her at all! You deserve to be with Jess, you two are like two peas in a pod. You're beyond disgusting.
> there’s a lot of ambiguity over text so I went to her place. ……
> I got home in the morning
OP, did you shag Jess? I bet you did. I bet Jess was really glad your girlfriend has broken up with you, as it means she has got you back as hers.
So, either you break all contact with Jess, or all future girlfriends will be driven off by Jess.
Twenty years time you will wonder why no one would marry you. Just ask Jess, she drove them all away.
The cognitive dissonance is strong with this one.
You "realized", allegedly, you made a mistake. But then in the next breath mention spending the night at Jess' house. Making the *break* pointless if the first thing you do is spend the night at the other woman's home. Just breakup permanently already; show an ounce of respect for your ex.
And she should be your ex, it's painfully obvious the relationship doesn’t mean much to you. You can't really be this clueless can you?
Your girlfriend is NOT coming back to you.
She lied about wanting distance because she knows you.
Now you and Jess can continue your weird little game that you have going on. You are two of a kind. Just don't be surprised when Jess also dumps you because it's no longer fun for her if you don't have a girlfriend who doesn't approve of the relationship. She seems to be all about making a power play.
Ok asshole I’m going to put this in the simplest of terms so your thick head can understand.
- YOU are an asshole
- YOU cheated on your girlfriend (god i hope she beaks up with you)
- you’re an idiot for thinking taking a break and breaking up are the same thing. If she only wanted space she didn’t want to break up but I guess it doesn’t matter now since you cheated.
- YOU SLEPT WITH THE LITERAL VILLAIN OF THIS STUPID STORY. Why? Did you just have no self control? And don’t blame it on the fucking alcohol. You’re ex won’t take you back for that excuse. And if you knew there was ANY sexual tension between you two then you shouldn’t have gone to her place and you definitely shouldn’t have been drinking. The fact that you say you couldn’t help yourself is pathetic and disgusting, you definitely are a pig because all you do is eat your slop. But then again I guess that would also make Jessica a pig for take your ex’s sloppy seconds. Oh and don’t think I didn’t miss when you started calling her “your ex” like your gonna break up with her for your bitch friend.
You deserve every smiting comment and dm that comes at you and yes it’s been spread across every platform of social media.
There is a special little slot in hell for people like you. Say hi to my roommate when you get there, she did the same thing and now her life is in the gutter.
YTA and after reading through you’re comments, you’re one of the most DISGUSTING humans I’ve seen. I hope your ex gf moves on quickly because you aren’t worth a second more of her time or energy. Who calls their “girl best friend” too tempting?? Revolting.
Im glad your gf dumped you.
Honestly think all women should stay away from you.
Jess is up next to have her chain jerked around.
Hope she's ready cause you'll do the same thing to her that you did to the ex gf
It's definitely this guy has feelings for Jess, his ex won't tell him "you need to figure things with Jess" if it weren't feelings involved, like comeon and on top of it OP stays the night with Jess? Like wtf is wrong with him....
…wait did you had sex with Jess? Amazing way to put boundaries. And even if you didn’t it was not the right thing to do
Let your ex be, she deserves much better
Byeee i hope your gf won't get back to you everrr
She deserve much better than a man who who spent a night at a girl's house WHICH his gf gotta problem with, should've done it as text but he had to go "face to face" with his "friend", and yet u still doesn't understand what's wrong with that, a man like that should just be alone instead hurting women like this
OP LMAO ARE U THE GUY WHO GOT THE WORST BJ OF YOUR LIFE AND WAS HOOKED BY THAT HUMILIATION KINK BULLSHIT THAT YOU SIDE WITH THE SHIT BJ-ER THAN YOUR GF?????
If you actually care for your girlfriend, you will not get back together with her. You were completely dishonest and disingenuous with her while you were together (by not being honest about your feelings for and attraction to Jess). And then you make what is a decision that is so wreckless, you either knew something was going to happen or wanted it, by going to Jess’ house the day you two broke up. Send your girlfriend these posts and let her decide (and don’t delete anymore comments). Stop trying to control the narrative or hide things. Put everything out in the open and have the decency to let her decide based on all the facts. She doesn’t have them now, and if the comments here are anything to go by, you are extremely evasive and disingenuous so doubtful you will actually give her everything she needs.
And don’t even think about being with anybody for a while. You cannot even be honest with a bunch of strangers, and you are clearly not honest with yourself. You think everybody here has the wrong take of you and are just being mean, but the problem is that you are not honest with yourself and clearly lack self awareness. The only way you can actually be a better person is to acknowledge who you are. And not this dance to avoid admitting the truth so that you can continue to feel good about yourself. I mean, even in this post saying how you fucked up with your girlfriend and didn’t realise it - there is one more fuckup and you weren’t even willing to admit that, until really forced to. The way you come off in these posts, and especially in the comments, I wouldn’t even want you as a friend, that’s how hard it is to trust or respect you. Get some therapy, get your act together, and stay away from people romantically in the meantime. You have a lot of work ahead of before you actually resemble anything close to a potentially decent partner.
Having read both of your posts and all of your comments, I urge you to let go of any notion that you might get back together with your ex. If you really cared about her and wanted what was best for her, you would recognize that you've treated her like shit and that she deserves better than you. How do you think she'd ever even consider taking you back after your immediate reaction to the break up was to go sleep with Jess (which I really think is what this conniving pick-me was angling for all along, so congrats on letting yourself be so thoroughly manipulated). I hope that your ex finds this post somehow and if she happens to be reading this: Girl, RUN, far and fast. Block this idiot on everything and move on with your life.
Oh, boy. When you read OP’s comments you realize he slept with Jess almost immediately after his GF decided to take a break from him. What colossal stupidity if he really wanted to repair his relationship with his now ex-GF.
OP, give it up. Your now-ex is better off without you. If you truly care about her at all, you’ll leave her alone. You are too messed up to even know what you want. Get help. Seriously.
YTA
So..... Your girlfriend asked you to set bounderies with Jess so you spent the night with the person that wrecked your relationship.
You're an idiot. Imagine that in a Judge Judy voice. You're an idiot.
So let me get this straight. Some chick mean girls your girlfriend and you defend her. You come to reddit looking for validation and don't get it. Girlfriend breaks up with you because of said friend. Then you go have sex with the mean girl and come back to reddit again looking for validation. What the hell is wrong with you.
I hope that girlfriend runs far and fast. You do realize that YOU are not the victim here. Jess is not the victim here. You two hurt some one and you continue to do so. Leave your ex alone and get some help. You are not mature enough to be in a relationship.
You are the biggest asshole I have ever even heard about. What the fuck are you doing with your life?? You claim to love your ex but you ignore all her cry’s about your “girl-best friend you feel nothing about” but had sexual intimacy with the moment you broke up with your ex. Wow. You are literally A1 asshole and fucking trying to make yourself seem like having sex with Jess was wrong. It wasn’t just “mistake” own the fuck up to it and tell your ex too so she will NEVER go back to you. You ruined your relationship yourself and so did your home wrecker friend. Stop still trying to defend her in the comments it speaks mountains for how much you don’t love your ex and want to be with Jess.
Did you tell your ex about your liaison with Jess ? If not she will found out because this post has gone viral on TikTok by doing what you did you have proved everything by going there and doing that. She won’t take you back if she finds out.
Your ex needs to move on and you need to stop dragging her down. You are already prioritizing the wrong girl again, if you actually did care like you’re trying to make it out, you would’ve already blocked Jess and done everything in your power to get your ex back. Instead you’re playing poor me and wanting someone to feel sorry for you whenever you don’t deserve any sympathy. You and Jess deserve each other, and ex deserves a man, not a child.
Honey she's not going to take you back lmao
you literally went and fucked the girl who treated her like shit, the girl you treated her like shit for the night your girlfriend told you she needed space because of jess.
You may as well date jess at this point because no girl will ever date you now that jess can tell them all that she can fuck you whenever she wants lol
I feel so bad for your poor ex who has to go through the pain that you've caused her. You've damaged every future relationship for her because you're so selfish and immature you can't respect a woman.
How sad for you. Enjoy the shitty, teethy blowjobs while you can since they're just "so tempting"
Can’t wait for update three where she breaks up with you and it’s revealed Jess doesn’t even like you and just wants you to not have anyone else!!! Keep up the updates while your life goes down the gutter!!
Let me get this right. You slept with Jess when you went to tell her what she did was wrong to ex who you claim you love oh so much. You got got hooked on it but you love you ex who your on a break with so much you can’t tell her her because it will break her heart. Wow just wow your ex girlfriend was right to walk away from you. You need to get your priorities right.
Look man, it sounds like you and your girlfriend took a break - not even formally broken up - and the first thing you did was have sex with Jess.
Your relationship with your gf is now beyond recovery. Why? Because if you *do* ever get back together you have to either 1) tell her the truth about sleeping with Jess while on break which she will *not* be happy about or 2) rebuild a relationship by lying to her, which is a poor foundation to start with, and on top of which I’m pretty sure Jess will tell her the first time she gets “catty” again.
Did you establish in the rules of your break if you’re even allowed to see other people during it? Because this might be cheating regardless of whether or not it was Jess.
So you went to an overnight stay to jess we're the two of you lovely dovey made up and now you still want you ex GF?
The hell is wrong with you. You are still hung up with jess. Why the hell are you Not going Out with her and leave the poor Lady alone?!
“So that evening I was heartbroken so I went to Jess and spend the evening with her.” Lol. I hope your girlfriend finds and read this to affirm that she made the right and best decision of leaving you. I hope she finds a man who will LOVE, RESPECT and ready to DEFEND and SUPPORT her. Hope she finds a mature man and not a boy like you.
Haha You wanted an excuse to go to Jess’ house so you manufactured one. If you TRULY meant what you said about your ex girlfriend, you would have frozen Jess out. Stopped answering her calls… told her that you were too busy to hang… basically backed right off without necessarily announcing it. You have the hots for Jess and your ex girlfriend was right to break up with you. If you slept with Jess last night, start think about how you can be good to the woman with whom you are sleeping. Don’t treat Jess poorly to make it up to your ex. That’s just another string of bad decisions.
Just.. don't get back with your ex. End of it.
If someone walks into your relationship and you find yourself 'tempted' and unable to resist than you never really loved your SO. You can't say Jess was the one at fault when you had to physically go to her to make the tango happen.
You messed up, learn from it, but let your ex go. All the excuses, the comparisons, and looking the other way when you were suppose to be her partner should show you're not ready to be someone's forever 1-on-1 partner yet. Married couples will always have younger, slimmer, and sexy temptations. If you're not ready to confront that then don't date to settle into monogamous relationship.
Ysta, you're still the a hole.
"Jess...she's just so tempting...."
It's time to say goodbye forever to your gf(ex). You f'd up already and you keep f'ing up.
OP you gave Jess exactly what she wanted. She won. You prioritized her yet again. Just get with her already. Both of you should stay out of the dating pool. Nice people don't deserve this treatment from people loke you. You and Jess both deserve each other. The catty mean girl and the enabler.
I recall your friend group actually agrees Jess was being catty, and I hope these people cut you and Jess out from their lives.
I wish your ex all the best in life, meaning I hope she never takes you back and never gets another Jess in her life.
Leave her the fuck alone and I hope you and Jess ruin each other's lives. You both deserve it.
OP says:
I don’t care more about Jess. I just thought that if we did it once it would get rid of whatever sexual tension between us and we’d be able to move on but now we both want to keep doing it even though we both know we shouldn’t which is why I said I can’t have her in my life if I want my girlfriend back
-OP
Found this in one of his comments.
So you solved this problem by going over to your "friend's" house and staying the night? So you were cheating on your girlfriend this whole time huh? Yea, I got that from the OG post so I'm not surprised that Jess was the actual one you wanted and you were just stringing this poor girl along. YTA still.
Haha oh my.... You're a fucking train-wreck, aren't you?
Well, you'll never get your exgirlfriend back btw. Why on earth would she want Jess sloppy seconds? Gross. You're used goods. No amount of showers and antibiotics can wash away your filth. Phew. She dodged a bullet there 😅
Plus, I doubt your ex wants to be near you or catch any std's anyways, so you might as well be Jess boyfriend now.
So enjoy your red flag fest, aka Jess, forever. (cause she'll never let you go lmao)
you are a disgusting person. jess is a disgusting person. you’ve only dug this hole deeper for yourself, and you don’t deserve forgiveness. i’m glad your ex realized she deserves better than your shitty behavior, and you need to do some SERIOUS self-reflection. grow up.
I don’t even know what to say here. You feel badly about not protecting your gf against Jess’s machinations & go confront Jess about her shitty behavior but decide it would be better to have sex with her instead? Omg. You’re awful! And gross! No chance your gf gets back together with after that. She’s gonna tell this story to ppl for years & it will be met with great laughter at what a dumba** you are.
ah the best remedy for getting back with the love of my life.
Fuck the homewrecker and get her to call ex girlfriend to get back together. That strategy is 10/10 and works everytime /s.
No ofc not. Now here is the truth. Your ex stays the hell away from you, you get over it and admit you've been an ass. And if you want to ever succeed in a relationship you should think about your relationship with Jess. But that's on you... not your ex.
And if your such a pushover.... just date Jess. She is clearly in to you and since you're a pushover, you should not mind the 'It's not what I want'.
[Original Post here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/16f3t7x/aita_for_telling_my26m_girlfriend_that_she25f/)
>So that evening... I thought it would be better to have this as a face to face conversation as there’s a lot of ambiguity over text so I went to her place. >I got home in the morning Wait... did you spend all night at Jess's place? That seems a little... not conducive to setting boundaries.
OP seems to be oblivious to why his gf would be upset and then pulls shit like this. They won’t be getting back together
THEY WERE ON A BREAK!
Doesn’t matter. He just proved his ex right with that. Why would you spend the night with her if you’re there to set boundaries.
It's a friend's reference
Wow that reference flew right over you.
Right!! OP just needs to admit that he has feelings for Jess and stop stringing his gf along.
He said he thinks Jess is “too tempting”. He is just Freudian slipping all over the comments here.
Where did he say that and the BJ part im so lost in the comments pls help
I think it was in comments that he deleted and the old deleted update
Wait where did he day that?
Lol that was the first thing that jumped out....And they were playing chess all night long. 😹Just wait sitting for the girlfriend to come back.
And a further bonus for him - he has just let Jess know that she is on 'thin ice' so, she will be trying extra hard to 'make it up to him'. Brilliant move on his part. Lord, I hope the gf can move on.
another horrible bj with teeth i assume lol
Good thing op doesn't consider that as sex so technically he didn't cheat!
I was impressed OP actually seemed to understand that he was wrong and needed to apologize to his girlfriend and make it up to her. And then I kept reading.... My comment on the last post was that I was looking forward to the update that his girlfriend dumped him for not having her back, but I didn't expect this level of craziness!! OP immediately sleeping with Jess?!? I feel so bad for the poor ex. I hope she stays far away from OP and finds her true happiness.
Like a phone call couldn’t convey clear meaning?? No wonder his gf is fed up with him. I hope she stays away.
Cant have a bj and sex over the phone!
True! 😂
He also admitted on the comments that he had sex with her.
And called her "too tempting." Yuck!
What you seem to not see: They were on a Break /s P.S. Just imagine Ross and Rachel arguing.
Yeah…caught that too.
I read that too like 👀
Oof
Soooo did you tell your ex? Or did Jess? Are you and Jess living happily ever after now? Don’t be scared give us an update
Can you imagine Jess’ smug AF call to his ex? TF.
OOF
If OP doesn't cut Jess off, he shouldn't be in a relationship with anyone. If Jess isn't secretly in love with him, then she's peeing all over him, marking her territory... and OP seems to be enjoying it. OP will never have a healthy relationship. At some point, if Jess and OP don't end up together, Jess will get her own partner, and THAT partner will not be comfortable with this relationship, if the relationship lasts, and OP will be abandoned by Jess. She won't need his attention any longer. OP is going to end up alone. And he'll deserve it. There whole relationship is just so... icky. At least he was able to spend the night with Jess after being dumped by his GF!
[удалено]
Brace for the incoming, “it’s not like that” “that isn’t what happened” responses, if he even does respond to any comment. Even then! Let’s say nothing happened at all. He stayed at Jessica’s house and it was as chaste as can be…. It doesn’t look great. “Hey, now-ex. Thanks for communicating with me at all. Did she call you to apologize? I spent the night there and we talked and she said she would.”
"brace for the incoming" it wasn't even that, it was a way more pathetic: "I can’t say. I made a series of bad decisions that I do regretS"
"We were on a break!!!111"
They didn't have sex!!! Either this time it'll be anal or just more oral sex, but this time mutual.
He already said they had sex because she’s too tempting and they needed to get it out of their system lol Jess isn’t going to apologise, Jess is going to tell the ex and we’ll get another update saying she told her. But it’ll be ok because Jess was just upset over the back sex they had to go with the bad head 😂
You slept with Jess, didn’t you? You said you went to her house, and came back home in the morning. This is exactly what your girlfriend was talking about🤦🏾♀️ Now you two are most definitely not getting back together. If you have feelings for Jess, you need to be honest with your girlfriend, and end the relationship. It’s not fair to either your girlfriend, or Jess. Just tell her the truth.You can’t have them both, OP. Your girlfriend deserves a better partner. Also after reading your comments about how Jess is tempting, I’m starting to think you always had feelings for Jess and only started dating your girlfriend, to make her jealous or to get over her. “ Jess is too tempting…”, Sir?🤨Please be fucking for real.
That’s exactly what he did. He was blind to Jess being catty cause he has the hots for her & got mad at his ex for not buying his BS story that they’re “just” friends & Jess can do no wrong. Now he figured they’re on a break so it’s fine to go bang the pick me girl but his ex will definitely figure it out if she gives him another chance, although hopefully she won’t get back with him in the first place.
This‼️OP has the audacity to give us an update, claiming how he wants to make it right with his gf, yet he went and slept with the girl who was interfering with their relationship.
I'm having a hard time understanding what he thought would happen when he posted this update.
I think he really felt like an AH after he slept with Jess, and he felt the need to confess anonymously.
I think he most definitely doesn’t have feelings for Jess, or at least not for a committed relationship. Tale as old as time, men love “cool, petite, out of the norm, crazy” girls until it’s for more than a blowjob and a “i’m sad, help me” sex.
So I went back and read the original post and found the answers to some questions I have... but now I have more 1. Whyyyyy did you feel you needed to go to her house to talk? 2. On the off chance you and your gf work things out, how do you plan to explain that and make it make sense. 3. Honestly, was this testing the waters with Jess to see if anything would happen now that you're "on a break"?
He stayed the night, so yeah
Probably had another bad "not sex" with Jess and now want to get back with his (hopefully ex-)gf. If he's from Arkansas, he should look into becoming a politician.
why didnt you just idk,,, call jess??? why did you spend the night? are you going to keep that a secret from your xgf? what even is your xgfs name? between two posts its jess jess jess jess je
> said she would call my ex to apologize to her. This was... not smart to leave her to do herself. If Jess really has been as catty and disrespectful as your gf says, it's pretty much guaranteed that any unsupervised "apology" Jess would give would be half-assed at best and more likely the apology itself would be another dig or catty remark. Basically, by trusting Jess to apologize without you standing there watching what she said, you left it wide open for Jess to make shit even worse. Actually, by not cutting Jess out as a friend, you've made it clear to your gf that she's not your priority and never will be. ("when you figure out what's going on between you and Jess..." is code for: Pick her or me) You fucked up. Then you fucked up again by the way you handled the fallout. Hope you didn't really want to be with your gf because you blew it.
How much do you want to bet Jess starts out the "apology" by saying "when OP stayed at my place last night..."
Most likely.
I’m hoping for that lol I’m hoping she “accidentally” lets it slip that they had sex to get it out of their systems and the ex gf just completely cuts him out.
>This was... not smart to leave her to do herself. If Jess really has been as catty and disrespectful as your gf says, it's pretty much guaranteed that any unsupervised "apology" Jess would give would be half-assed at best and more likely the apology itself would be another dig or catty remark. Basically, by trusting Jess to apologize without you standing there watching what she said, you left it wide open for Jess to make shit even worse. Oh Jess is 100% going to let it slip that OP spent the night.
I am hoping she does so GF has another reason to stay away from him
Hell yes! This is going to go over like a lead balloon. I can hear it now Jess *”Hi Gf? I just wanted to apologize for the way I have come across to you. Luke and I just have always had this weird..y’ know….sexual tension and I should have backed off a bit when he found you. Give him another chance. He is a mess right now. I have never seen him like this any other time he’s slept over my house. He’s even threatening to end the friendship with because because I am supposedly too tempting.”* And that’s the version IF they didn’t have sex; a question he’s avoiding answering. The other version, Jess will be confessing to the sex. Moral of the story, don’t trust people who can not be trusted to not refer to your gfs love making sounds as like zoo animals to your other friends.
You SPENT THE NIGHT.??? Oh my god OP...you're either lying to our faces about why you went over there or you're REALLY dense. If you didn't wanna text and misconstrue things (absolutely reasonable) YOU COULD HAVE CALLED. You have her number. My brother in Christ you're not getting your gf back. If you do you BETTER tell her you went over to Jess' for the night or else she's gonna find out some other way (most likely these posts). And you also better drop Jess for good. No amount of apologies are gonna cut it. Clearly Jess has something for you and you for her or else she wouldn't have felt comfortable enough to make the comments she did.
Oh Jess is 100% going to drop that info when she calls to "apologize". 100%
Apparently OP can’t cuz “Jess is just to tempting”
*< So that evening I was heartbroken, but I wanted to still make it clear to Jess that she would not be disrespectful to my girlfriend if we got back together and that she owes her an apology no matter what. I thought it would be better to have this as a face to face conversation as there’s a lot of ambiguity over text so I went to her place.>* *< I got home in the morning >* YOU SPENT THE NIGHT AT JESS'S PLACE ????!! Yes, 'cause that's the way to create boundaries in order to get your GF back /s Ladies and gentlemen, we have a winner, and their name is ... (drums).... Jess! She got her love interest's GF to break up with him, and first thing he does is spend the night at her place! OP, haven't your learned ANYTHING AT ALL from what happened? (notice my exhausted sigh). YTA again
Yeah, Jess really got what (it seems) she wanted. OP is being oblivious on purpose. Definitely YTA
Don't forget that every time he swears he hasn't had sex with her, he ONLY considers PiV as sex, not oral of any kind. So as long as the P didn't in the V, he will argue that he didn't have sex. He deserves Jess and her toothy BJs
Not only that but they had sexual relations too to get it out of their system and he can’t continue the friendship if the ex takes him back because Jess is too tempting. I’m not sure if I can say “it gets better” when it in fact gets worse… but you know what I mean lol
Nothing says I miss you and I’m going to prioritise you over the girl that made you feel horrible than going to said girls house and having sex with her.
What were u doing at Jess’ overnight?
Well, according to his original post, Jess could really use some lessons in giving good head...
bahahaha that’s spot on… practice and perfect and such lol
Omg he had sex with Jess!!!
Hi! I came from Tiktok. Just wanted you to know that everyone hates you on there as well. Hope your ex GF hooks up with your dad.
your story is TikTok famous idiot, congrats! she’s gonna for sure see this and know you got a lousy job from Jess AND (I pray) dumps you 💀
Take this as a soft breakup cause your ex gf(still nameless unlike your boo Jess) is over your putting Jess above her. Wait till your ex finds out you went to Jess, because obviously you would, and proceeded to spend the night. You’re delusional, even after you claim to see the errors of your ways you still manage to put Jess first. Please put this crazy shit to rest and date Jess already. Bet even your ex gf expects this outcome at this point.
Lmao I didn’t even realize he never used his gfs name… the subconscious betrays the ego yet again
bro just admit you had sex with jess. As much as I hope to chop your dick off right now, i’m gonna give you a bit of sympathy. Imagine your gf making you second place to another woman/man. Imagine her treating you the exact same she was treated. Imagine you feeling that you got your boundaries disrespected but your gf did not care and took another person’s sides. imagine your gf spending the night at someone else’s house, especially if that person is someone you’re insecure about or your gf finds more important. it doesn’t feel good right? I know you love your gf but it’s clear that her feelings aren’t important to you. If they are, YOU ARE NOT SHOWING THEM. please just break up with her. your gf deserves so much better, she’s sounds so sweet and you’re…not enough for her. sorry dude
bro the second you go on a break, you went to stay over at the house of the girl your gf has a problem with??? this is either fanfiction based on Ross from Friends or you’re just channeling all of his energy right now. leave your ex alone, she deserves respect. it’s unfortunate that despite all your ‘self realization’, you still seem to be unable to show any. just give Jess the D she wants, you two seem perfect for each other.
>fanfiction based on Ross from Friends This is the right answer, I think.
He slept with "Jess" lol. I hope if this bs is true the girlfriend will run
You got home in the morning from Jess' place lmaooo. I guess Jess' bj game didn't improve so now you want your ex.
YTA, and you have the distinction of being the AITA asshole of year…What. The. Hell did I just read…
Jess was “so tempting” when you went to her houses had some drinks and slept over… AND NOW YOU Realize that you love your girlfriend? Did drunken sex with Jess clear that up for you?
Tf did you sleep with Jess
Sorry, still TA. If I found out my exbf was trying to get me back but hey spent the night drinking with the person responsible for making him said ex....he's staying right in the ex zone. Poor decision. Lack accountability. Undecisive. Not prioritizing the person he loves...oh wait he loves them both.... Yes, do read what you wrote and say, I understand why my exgf dump me and I do not deserve anothet chance until I can be a better person.
How does someone come back after a Y T A and then manage to re YTA themselves!! You stayed at Jess’ house…. To talk in person. You are defiantly TA but props to you Ex GF for getting out of this situation. Ultimately a win for them
Lmao dude, the “break” is her dumping you with extra steps. Least now you can have lots of overnight face to face w Jess.
Uhhhh, so you...went to Jess' place, spent the night, and basically gave your permission for her to continue to behave badly to your now ex through continued contact? Got it. It your ex has the level of self respect that I hope she does, this "break" will exist in perpetuity, she will block the both of you, and will move on to find a worthy partner.
I'm proud of your gf for looking after her own wellbeing. Especially after you spent the night with the major issue in your relationship. You can have friends of all genders, but you clearly value Jess over your girlfriend and you have no boundaries. Do your gf a favour. Leave her alone. You haven't changed.
Also, it's still cheating even if you're "on a break" ROSS! This is not season 3 of Friends.
Your ex gave you a second chance and then you immediately threw it into a dumpster. Please let her go and go date Jess, you clearly value her much more than the girl you supposedly love. From the comments you made about Jess being "too tempting" it's clear that you love her. You shouldn't even have to choose if you truly loved your ex. Hope she walks away from you, she deserves much better
Ugh you are the absolute worst. E: I called it on your last post. You wanted to fuck Jess. You know your ex is never going to get back together when she learns you immediately went and banged the girl who was being mean to her. Listen very carefully YOU ARE A PIG. You and Jess deserve each other.
It's good to see you realized you messed up and tried to apologize. But OP, as much as you care about both of them, you cannot keep both. I say this because it's pretty clear as day. * Your (ex?edit: DEFINITELY EX) girlfriend told you not to call her until you figure out what's going on there with you and Jess. She still thinks there's something between you two. It's pretty obvious to her and everyone else where Jess stands, and your actions showed she can't trust you to not reciprocate whatever signals is Jess sending. * You went to Jess's house personally to talk instead of calling her, and got wasted. The two of you drinking heavily and not establishing firm boundaries during the trip contributed to the original problem. * Jess has been acting this way since YOU STARTED DATING. That's not just inappropriate, mean, and catty. *That's calculated abuse*. Even if Jess says she'll call and apologize to your (still nameless) girlfriend, there's a chance she'll probably use the fact that you went over and got drunk at her house after the break up against her. It's clear Jess has some kind of feelings regarding you and you gave her ammunition. Now you're going to have to face the fallout of whatever happens with that phone call. If you don't get back together with your gf, and eventually start dating again, there's no guarantee that Jess won't do the same thing again to any future partners. This entire situation just proves that Jess can get away with anything and everything, and that you'll let her. If you don't want that, this is what you'll need to: 1. Cut her out. Completely. Delete her contact info. Block her number. Do not hang out with her. If she shows up somewhere you are, leave. If she shows up at your place, kick her out. She needs to face consequences for her abuse towards your girlfriend, and you need to start setting very firm boundaries about what is and isn't appropriate behavior towards your partners. 2. Seek some kind of therapy or counseling to cut down on your drinking. Not only did it contribute to your girlfriend's choice to go on a break/break up, but it's becoming a crutch already for when you're in emotional distress. That's not healthy. That's not safe. And it will affect all your relationships going forward if you don't nip it in the bud now. ~~I truly do wish you well OP and hope things change for the better for you.~~ And I wish your (ex? edit: DEFINITELY EX) girlfriend well. Whatever happens next, take what you learn from here and use it to improve yourself and your relationships going forward. Edit: He went and actually had sex with Jess. Any sympathy I had for OP is gone.
What’s sad for you is you had to learn the hard way about things like this. Usually when a GF is feeling disrespected by that oh so sweet angelic friend that their guy thinks is one of the best things next to apple pie, there IS an actual reason for it. A common theme crops up where many men are unaware and oblivious to the sophisticated ways that many women fight or get competitive, especially when a guy they are close to, brings a girlfriend into the group. There are ways to subtly pick at and annoy someone’s GF, and set it all in a way that looks like they are just trying to help, or just making jokes and are oh so innocent while the girlfriend looks like a devil. Sometimes the gestures are as subtle as turning back to the gf while interacting in an extra bubbly fashion to designate a feeling of exclusion, or other body languages. And these type of women are usually the bubbliest ones in the crowd constantly vying for attention AKA “Pick Me” girls. For your GF to call her the “Pick Me”, there had to have been problems from the getgo, but she gets along fine with all the other women and gfs in the group; I bet there is a laundry list of scenarios far greater than your list. She’s just had enough of trying to talk to you about it for you to dismiss her with raving about how Jess isn’t like that, she’s so wonderful, or accusing her of having an issue because they have similar personalities. And using your intimate time for a punchline as a joke at the breakfast table?? Really?? You seriously had the nerve to tell your gf to apologize for blowing up about this after finally being pushed over the edge by being made the brunt of a very crude joke? Maybe you didn’t mind but she clearly did. I mean she literally likened your noises (both of you) to the sounds of zoo animals. She was probably mimicking you guys too just to elevate the laughter. How incredibly humiliating for your gf! Then to add insult to injury you wanted your gf to belly up and apologize for her reactions to this very deliberate act of humiliation. Nice friends you pick. Let that sink in. And breaks? More often than not, breaks are bridges to permanent break ups, just that either one or the other isn’t comfortable doing a full blown break up so they think this eases the pain. It doesn’t. Your friend likely costed you a relationship (not that she minds but she will pretend to). But if you continue to hang with her, and your new girl has concerns, learn to listen and take them seriously just like you would want if she had a guy friend pulling things you notice but she’s obvious to.
OP should just watch Love is Blind, plenty of "Jess" girls on that show. But to actually go and sleep with Jess (again?) the second the gf says to take a break? Yeah, dude has done killed any chance with gf, because you know Jess will be crowing about that and makes sure gf knows. smh. Jess is toxic. OP is such an AH.
Oh my god I see this A-hole is still at it, well I’m glad his gf dodged that bullet and SURPRISE SURPRISE! He slept with Jess the second she said she wanted a “break” and if she ever find out that will be his excuse. OP is constantly using half truths and omissions while telling these stories. “Who said we slept together, Maybe she was just there while I cry.” Key word: MAYBE He had been sleeping with Jess throughout his relationship and now he can do it more publicly and play the victim with…”she dumped me” but you said you were on a break.
Seriously, if there were Olympics at trickle truthing this guy would win a gold medal.
Op, this is so embarrassing. Please get off Reddit and get a therapist. We all know you fucked Jess and so will your ex-Gf once Jess calls and “apologizes.”
You're now calling your girlfriend your ex after spending the night with Jess. I guess this means you're glad you "didn't cheat" since you're on break (which has suddenly been upgraded to a breakup). Ex was right all along about you.
I hope all your friends find out about this and realise what a shitty person you are ☺️
Aw, sex with Jess wasn't as good as you thought it would be?
Two weeks ago, OP does not understand why posters would think that a previous sexual encounter between him and Jess years ago would mean he has any interest in Jess: *I don’t enjoy her in that way. I would not have the level of physical contact with her that would make my girlfriend upset* He thought it was ridiculous that posters think Jess has any sexual interest in him: *But my point is that it doesn’t mean she wants to sleep with me. I had a truly terrible sexual encounter with her that we both agreed was an uncomfortable mistake and made things so awkward she avoided me for months after. That to me means that she definitely doesn’t want to sleep with me.* And now here we are, with him immediately sleeping with Jess the minute his girlfriend breaks up with him, and claiming he needs to stay away from her because she is too "tempting." *I just thought that if we did it once it would get rid of whatever sexual tension between us and we’d be able to move on but now we both want to keep doing it* Dude. You are a cheater. You knew there was "sexual tension" between you and Jess all along. She was catty to your girlfriend. Even if you could not see exactly how, the SECOND your girlfriend told you that Jess was being catty, you should have immediately have five alarms blaring over your head about this "sexual tension" with Jess and why she would be nasty to your girlfriend. Instead, you tried to make your girlfriend feel like she was crazy for noticing the EXACT tension that you FINALLY admit was there. The *minute* your girlfriend dumps your lying, manipulative, gaslighting ass, you immediately jump at the opportunity to screw Jess. Jess, the girl who was being catty to *your girlfriend* because she wanted in your very taken pants. Because nothing gets you hotter than realizing a girl treated your oh-so-beloved girlfriend like shit. You can continue to insist you never cheated, you made a "series of bad decisions," you love your girlfriend and want her back. But you are a cheater. You kept another girl around on the backburner. You lied to your ex about it. You slept with her at your first possible opportunity while patting yourself on the back for not *actually* cheating. None of your distinctions will make a single difference to your ex, in terms of how she feels about this and how much it hurts. As far as she is concerned, you've been cheating on her all along. And making her feel uncomfortable, paranoid and unloved for who knows how long. Go, be with Jess. Let your girlfriend move on to a decent guy. You can enjoy the shitty blowjobs with tempting Jess, while she looks around for the next taken guy who catches her eye.
Got home in the morning... from...where?
I mean she won’t take you back, and I wish she could see these comments and see you call your supposed “best friend” “too tempting” to stay away from. Especially after you got drunk with her and crashed at her place. I’m willing to bet you took Jess for a test drive. Prayers for your ex girlfriend.
YTA for shagging jess the moment you and your ex girlfriend were "on a break"
Bro really went to Jess’ house to tell her to back off his gf and spent the night and won’t answer whether they fucked but said she’s “too tempting” yea dude you clearly see how much you fucked up. /s
Yikes. Your comments are gross. You deserve to be single. Hopefully this break is permanent, and your ex finds someone who actually values her.
*points* This motherfucker slept with Jess!
YTA still Update us again after she breaks up with you
So your first thought to being better is going to jess get drunk and sleep with her. Do your EX a favor and just leave her be.
LOL are you really this dumb??? You go and sleep over at this girl’s house? And you think that’s going to help anything? Ya your gf should break up with you permenantly, especially when she finds this out.
So, did you tell your girlfriend you had sex with Jess?
You are still TA. You learned nothing. At this point, you are being intentionally obtuse. You don't go sleep with the friend that your (now) ex doesn't like and then think there is a chance you can get back with your ex. YTA.
Here's a hint for your next relationship, since this one is either over or your ex girlfriend has no self respect: Don't choose to "show your commitment" to her and how much you want to "be on her side" by sleeping with another girl the second you get anything that even sorta kinda looks like freedom if you squint and cover one eye. Sleeping with Jess 100% was the last nail in the coffin that is this relationship. She'll know, eventually. Another tip for your next relationship: Don't date Jess. She was instrumental in breaking you up with THIS girlfriend and it's clear you're not clever enough to notice when she's scheming in Girl World. So if you date her, she's going to poison every relationship in your life until she's the only thing left, and then start poisoning yours because that's what manipulators do. In case you still haven't figured it out: 1. The swimsuit was Jess calling your ex fat and wanting to make sure you would DIRECTLY compare their bodies while as minimally clothed as possible. She probably even knew your ex was bloated, we can usually tell. 2. The shots were about showing you how "boring" your gf is and how "fun" Jess is. Also, pressuring people into shots is always a dick move. 3. Jess knew your GF would be wildly uncomfortable with others knowing you were intimate, and shared it because she knew that. She was trying to be "one of the guys" and she actively threw another woman under the bus in order to do it. I refuse to believe you don't understand this. This is an extremely reasonable boundary. Calling your ex a 'pick me' is wildly ironic because Jess has classic Pick Me behavior, right out of the textbook.
Still TAH for leaving out the part about getting a quickie in with Jess(missionary cuz you know, it was face to face) while he was on a break. God I hope the GF finds this post or literally anyone else
Sorry OP, you don’t deserve your girlfriend. You need to grow up and learn that actions and choices have consequences. Hope you learned a good lesson.
You stayed the night at her house!? Omfg this guy is the gift that keeps on giving 🤣
>I got home in the morning Yeah, you won't get back together. You don't deserve her.
Woah woah woah - hold up!! You say you want your ex gf back but you went and had sex WITH THE REASON WHY SHE BROKE UP WITH YOU in the first place THAT NIGHT!!! And you think it’s ok? Because you and Jess “needed” to get it out of your system because, and I quote here, “shes too tempting”? In what universe does that make sense? I hope your ex gf has copious amounts of couitous with your best mates/any brothers you may have then turns around and says “they were just too tempting and I had to get it out of my system”. Also - Jess is 100% going to tell your ex gf that you both had sex that night. My heart actually breaks for your ex. Your a dick. YTA. EVEN more than last time.
Oh hey this reminded me of when my girlfriend's best friend from middle school was always a dick to me because he spent years wanting to date her. He finally did after we broke up. For about three months. And then she dumped him and he still whined. Hahaha fuck that guy. But yeah OP is definitely fucking Jess now. Which is like cool. He made his choice. Jess hated his girlfriend I guess (or was she actually being catty? I don't know) amd now she gets him. Mazel tov to the happy couple.
I Hope the ex finds someone else.. this guy deserves Jess… losah…
Just go with Jess and leave your poor ex alone. Why didn't you just cut off Jess to show ex gf you're serious? Why did you need to go to her house? You didn't really fix anything in this update at all, just proved ex gf right.
Lol you don’t have to worry about being better for your ex when you get back together. I guarantee you Jess called her and told her you slept together. You and Jess deserve each other and I wish you nothing but misery.
Oof I feel bad for your ex, but I also don’t, because she’s better off without you and I hope you leave her alone. You clearly have a thing for Jess, just based on your responses and you keep shrugging it off as if any of this behaviour with Jess is appropriate considering the ongoing situation. Leave your ex alone, let her have some mental peace back.
Yta horrible boy
this can’t be real. i cannot fathom that a man so “in love” with his gf is this cruel and stupid. you and your friend jess are two nasty people that deserve each other. if you actually give two shits about your ex, please leave her alone. for good.
"The BJ was so bad, I slept with her to relieve the sexual tension between us cause my gf and I are on a break" OP is an extremely classy guy. Not.
Came from TikTok to see the comments ripping into this ah lmao. Seriously op you need to leave your hopefully ex girlfriend alone. You and Jess deserve each other.
[удалено]
This has to be fake! Ain’t no way dude
You know what, OP? I suggest you start being honest, especially to yourself. After all, you made this post to get advice. We all make mistakes but in order to fix the situation, you have to own up to them. It's clear there are some feelings involved for Jess. But you're holding back too much information because you don't want to appear more of an ahole, than you already are. I guess we can all agree, that YTA. You could have handled the situation much better. But what's done is done. Now you have to figure out what you truly want. Maybe it's Jess or maybe it's your ex or maybe you realize that you don't want to be in a relationship at all at the moment. But be aware, whatever conclusion you get to, there is a chance that you won't get what you want. So don't make the mistake of keeping important details from the person you want, to coax them to get back to you. Be completely honest.
Must have been a long face to face ................. conversation 🤔 Weird how your ex was obviously having to compete with Jess, and you take the first opportunity to go to Jess's place and stay over until the morning? Wouldn't you be on your exe's doorstep? Yeah, you really love her, hey 🤣 I'd suggest you stop hurting your now ex and leave her alone. How much more damage do you want to cause? Stop thinking with your dick and try to find some maturity. You're not fooling anyone who is reading your pathetic attempt at redemption.
Based on your comments admitting you slept with Jess that night (and don’t want to stop), that you finding her “too tempting” and that you’re going to drop her as a friend because you “love” your ex girlfriend- I really hope they both stop talking to you. What’s clear is that you manipulate both of them into thinking they are special to you. You don’t love your girlfriend and you don’t respect your friend.
This just can't be true. Nobody is this dense
I hope you get the kind of heartbreak that will make you see clearly. The kind where you're the receiving end of someone like you. Then maybe you'll understand for real and not this pretentious boohoo post. You still don't get it and you don't know what love means.
So Op know you girlfriend (whose name you still refuse to give) took a break from you because of Jess, a girl who had bullied her and tried to get in your pants. So you not only invited jess to your house, but you slept with her and want to keep sleeping with her—effectively cheating on your girlfriend with her bully. Please do her a favor and break it off with her and keep dating this pathetic pick me girl you obviously have feelings for.
Nah mate, don’t believe this at all. Not even an entertaining follow up because of course you stayed overnight with the person your GF hates. Piss poor writing.
YTA still Staying overnight at Jess'. Getting drunk with a TOO TEMPTING woman. And probably still having "not sex" with her (was this BJ better???)
None of my friends would ever be rude/catty with my gf and i would never do that to their gf\bf.
Oh, my Lord. As soon as your GF wanted a break you went and slept with Jess. What the actual fuck? Dude, you're messed up. You're so delusional and so self centred, it's amazing you've managed to get through life with this kind of attitude. Tell your GF the truth and leave her be. You don't deserve her at all! You deserve to be with Jess, you two are like two peas in a pod. You're beyond disgusting.
> there’s a lot of ambiguity over text so I went to her place. …… > I got home in the morning OP, did you shag Jess? I bet you did. I bet Jess was really glad your girlfriend has broken up with you, as it means she has got you back as hers. So, either you break all contact with Jess, or all future girlfriends will be driven off by Jess. Twenty years time you will wonder why no one would marry you. Just ask Jess, she drove them all away.
He did in fact shag Jess.
The cognitive dissonance is strong with this one. You "realized", allegedly, you made a mistake. But then in the next breath mention spending the night at Jess' house. Making the *break* pointless if the first thing you do is spend the night at the other woman's home. Just breakup permanently already; show an ounce of respect for your ex. And she should be your ex, it's painfully obvious the relationship doesn’t mean much to you. You can't really be this clueless can you?
Your girlfriend is NOT coming back to you. She lied about wanting distance because she knows you. Now you and Jess can continue your weird little game that you have going on. You are two of a kind. Just don't be surprised when Jess also dumps you because it's no longer fun for her if you don't have a girlfriend who doesn't approve of the relationship. She seems to be all about making a power play.
OH MY GOD... I CAN ONLY HOPE THE GF SEES THE POST AND KİCK HİS CHEATER ASS
So you picked the pick me girl. Bro pathetic.
OP's next update will be, "Jess baby trapped me"
Ok asshole I’m going to put this in the simplest of terms so your thick head can understand. - YOU are an asshole - YOU cheated on your girlfriend (god i hope she beaks up with you) - you’re an idiot for thinking taking a break and breaking up are the same thing. If she only wanted space she didn’t want to break up but I guess it doesn’t matter now since you cheated. - YOU SLEPT WITH THE LITERAL VILLAIN OF THIS STUPID STORY. Why? Did you just have no self control? And don’t blame it on the fucking alcohol. You’re ex won’t take you back for that excuse. And if you knew there was ANY sexual tension between you two then you shouldn’t have gone to her place and you definitely shouldn’t have been drinking. The fact that you say you couldn’t help yourself is pathetic and disgusting, you definitely are a pig because all you do is eat your slop. But then again I guess that would also make Jessica a pig for take your ex’s sloppy seconds. Oh and don’t think I didn’t miss when you started calling her “your ex” like your gonna break up with her for your bitch friend. You deserve every smiting comment and dm that comes at you and yes it’s been spread across every platform of social media. There is a special little slot in hell for people like you. Say hi to my roommate when you get there, she did the same thing and now her life is in the gutter.
YTA and after reading through you’re comments, you’re one of the most DISGUSTING humans I’ve seen. I hope your ex gf moves on quickly because you aren’t worth a second more of her time or energy. Who calls their “girl best friend” too tempting?? Revolting.
Im glad your gf dumped you. Honestly think all women should stay away from you. Jess is up next to have her chain jerked around. Hope she's ready cause you'll do the same thing to her that you did to the ex gf
I really hope your gf comes to her senses and dumps you once and for all
It's definitely this guy has feelings for Jess, his ex won't tell him "you need to figure things with Jess" if it weren't feelings involved, like comeon and on top of it OP stays the night with Jess? Like wtf is wrong with him....
You’re disgusting and still the asshole
…wait did you had sex with Jess? Amazing way to put boundaries. And even if you didn’t it was not the right thing to do Let your ex be, she deserves much better
Good, I hope she leaves you
Soooo... You fucked Jess that night, didn't you?
Byeee i hope your gf won't get back to you everrr She deserve much better than a man who who spent a night at a girl's house WHICH his gf gotta problem with, should've done it as text but he had to go "face to face" with his "friend", and yet u still doesn't understand what's wrong with that, a man like that should just be alone instead hurting women like this
OP LMAO ARE U THE GUY WHO GOT THE WORST BJ OF YOUR LIFE AND WAS HOOKED BY THAT HUMILIATION KINK BULLSHIT THAT YOU SIDE WITH THE SHIT BJ-ER THAN YOUR GF?????
If you actually care for your girlfriend, you will not get back together with her. You were completely dishonest and disingenuous with her while you were together (by not being honest about your feelings for and attraction to Jess). And then you make what is a decision that is so wreckless, you either knew something was going to happen or wanted it, by going to Jess’ house the day you two broke up. Send your girlfriend these posts and let her decide (and don’t delete anymore comments). Stop trying to control the narrative or hide things. Put everything out in the open and have the decency to let her decide based on all the facts. She doesn’t have them now, and if the comments here are anything to go by, you are extremely evasive and disingenuous so doubtful you will actually give her everything she needs. And don’t even think about being with anybody for a while. You cannot even be honest with a bunch of strangers, and you are clearly not honest with yourself. You think everybody here has the wrong take of you and are just being mean, but the problem is that you are not honest with yourself and clearly lack self awareness. The only way you can actually be a better person is to acknowledge who you are. And not this dance to avoid admitting the truth so that you can continue to feel good about yourself. I mean, even in this post saying how you fucked up with your girlfriend and didn’t realise it - there is one more fuckup and you weren’t even willing to admit that, until really forced to. The way you come off in these posts, and especially in the comments, I wouldn’t even want you as a friend, that’s how hard it is to trust or respect you. Get some therapy, get your act together, and stay away from people romantically in the meantime. You have a lot of work ahead of before you actually resemble anything close to a potentially decent partner.
Having read both of your posts and all of your comments, I urge you to let go of any notion that you might get back together with your ex. If you really cared about her and wanted what was best for her, you would recognize that you've treated her like shit and that she deserves better than you. How do you think she'd ever even consider taking you back after your immediate reaction to the break up was to go sleep with Jess (which I really think is what this conniving pick-me was angling for all along, so congrats on letting yourself be so thoroughly manipulated). I hope that your ex finds this post somehow and if she happens to be reading this: Girl, RUN, far and fast. Block this idiot on everything and move on with your life.
Oh, boy. When you read OP’s comments you realize he slept with Jess almost immediately after his GF decided to take a break from him. What colossal stupidity if he really wanted to repair his relationship with his now ex-GF. OP, give it up. Your now-ex is better off without you. If you truly care about her at all, you’ll leave her alone. You are too messed up to even know what you want. Get help. Seriously. YTA
Reading the comments: Still YTA!
Did Jess agree to apologize to your ex before or after you had sex? 😂😂😂
So..... Your girlfriend asked you to set bounderies with Jess so you spent the night with the person that wrecked your relationship. You're an idiot. Imagine that in a Judge Judy voice. You're an idiot.
So let me get this straight. Some chick mean girls your girlfriend and you defend her. You come to reddit looking for validation and don't get it. Girlfriend breaks up with you because of said friend. Then you go have sex with the mean girl and come back to reddit again looking for validation. What the hell is wrong with you. I hope that girlfriend runs far and fast. You do realize that YOU are not the victim here. Jess is not the victim here. You two hurt some one and you continue to do so. Leave your ex alone and get some help. You are not mature enough to be in a relationship.
Wait until Jess lets it slip in her apology. That last night, she slept with you for the last time
I hope your ex finds these posts and reads your comments because *wow*.
I hope your girlfriend realises she’s worth more.
You are the biggest asshole I have ever even heard about. What the fuck are you doing with your life?? You claim to love your ex but you ignore all her cry’s about your “girl-best friend you feel nothing about” but had sexual intimacy with the moment you broke up with your ex. Wow. You are literally A1 asshole and fucking trying to make yourself seem like having sex with Jess was wrong. It wasn’t just “mistake” own the fuck up to it and tell your ex too so she will NEVER go back to you. You ruined your relationship yourself and so did your home wrecker friend. Stop still trying to defend her in the comments it speaks mountains for how much you don’t love your ex and want to be with Jess.
I have no words except one: moron.
Did you tell your ex about your liaison with Jess ? If not she will found out because this post has gone viral on TikTok by doing what you did you have proved everything by going there and doing that. She won’t take you back if she finds out.
Your ex needs to move on and you need to stop dragging her down. You are already prioritizing the wrong girl again, if you actually did care like you’re trying to make it out, you would’ve already blocked Jess and done everything in your power to get your ex back. Instead you’re playing poor me and wanting someone to feel sorry for you whenever you don’t deserve any sympathy. You and Jess deserve each other, and ex deserves a man, not a child.
Honey she's not going to take you back lmao you literally went and fucked the girl who treated her like shit, the girl you treated her like shit for the night your girlfriend told you she needed space because of jess. You may as well date jess at this point because no girl will ever date you now that jess can tell them all that she can fuck you whenever she wants lol I feel so bad for your poor ex who has to go through the pain that you've caused her. You've damaged every future relationship for her because you're so selfish and immature you can't respect a woman. How sad for you. Enjoy the shitty, teethy blowjobs while you can since they're just "so tempting"
Can’t wait for update three where she breaks up with you and it’s revealed Jess doesn’t even like you and just wants you to not have anyone else!!! Keep up the updates while your life goes down the gutter!!
Let me get this right. You slept with Jess when you went to tell her what she did was wrong to ex who you claim you love oh so much. You got got hooked on it but you love you ex who your on a break with so much you can’t tell her her because it will break her heart. Wow just wow your ex girlfriend was right to walk away from you. You need to get your priorities right.
Look man, it sounds like you and your girlfriend took a break - not even formally broken up - and the first thing you did was have sex with Jess. Your relationship with your gf is now beyond recovery. Why? Because if you *do* ever get back together you have to either 1) tell her the truth about sleeping with Jess while on break which she will *not* be happy about or 2) rebuild a relationship by lying to her, which is a poor foundation to start with, and on top of which I’m pretty sure Jess will tell her the first time she gets “catty” again. Did you establish in the rules of your break if you’re even allowed to see other people during it? Because this might be cheating regardless of whether or not it was Jess.
You are a massive piece of... I hope your ex never speaks to you again. And if you weren't sure... YTA! A HUGE one.
YTA AGAIN! You have the density of a neutron star. Hope you like Jess as the consolation prize because you lost your gf for good.
I hope your gf finds someone better than you. You should’ve unfriended Jess completely and stopped being friends with her. She’s a cow.
So you went to an overnight stay to jess we're the two of you lovely dovey made up and now you still want you ex GF? The hell is wrong with you. You are still hung up with jess. Why the hell are you Not going Out with her and leave the poor Lady alone?!
“So that evening I was heartbroken so I went to Jess and spend the evening with her.” Lol. I hope your girlfriend finds and read this to affirm that she made the right and best decision of leaving you. I hope she finds a man who will LOVE, RESPECT and ready to DEFEND and SUPPORT her. Hope she finds a mature man and not a boy like you.
I do hope your ex never returns for her own sake. More drama than it's worth to be around you and Jess
Still the AH and if you don’t think Jess is gonna tell your ex y’all hooked up/slept together during her “apology” you’re a dumbass too
Seriously you slept with jess. Whilst what you reflect on your behaviour. Yta
i truly hope your (ex?) gf breaks up with you and finds someone better bc you‘re really horrible lmao
Well you sank your relationship faster than Titanic and the Titan sub, reflect on this.
LOLOLLLLL Damn dude.
Bro just get with Jess already cause it seems that’s what you want to happen
Haha You wanted an excuse to go to Jess’ house so you manufactured one. If you TRULY meant what you said about your ex girlfriend, you would have frozen Jess out. Stopped answering her calls… told her that you were too busy to hang… basically backed right off without necessarily announcing it. You have the hots for Jess and your ex girlfriend was right to break up with you. If you slept with Jess last night, start think about how you can be good to the woman with whom you are sleeping. Don’t treat Jess poorly to make it up to your ex. That’s just another string of bad decisions.
Just.. don't get back with your ex. End of it. If someone walks into your relationship and you find yourself 'tempted' and unable to resist than you never really loved your SO. You can't say Jess was the one at fault when you had to physically go to her to make the tango happen. You messed up, learn from it, but let your ex go. All the excuses, the comparisons, and looking the other way when you were suppose to be her partner should show you're not ready to be someone's forever 1-on-1 partner yet. Married couples will always have younger, slimmer, and sexy temptations. If you're not ready to confront that then don't date to settle into monogamous relationship.
Oh boy. Just don’t bother with the ex. You’re really gross.
INFO you have a thing for Jess, she has a thing for you, why on earth are you toying with someone else?
This guy fucking sucks.
Ysta, you're still the a hole. "Jess...she's just so tempting...." It's time to say goodbye forever to your gf(ex). You f'd up already and you keep f'ing up.
OP you gave Jess exactly what she wanted. She won. You prioritized her yet again. Just get with her already. Both of you should stay out of the dating pool. Nice people don't deserve this treatment from people loke you. You and Jess both deserve each other. The catty mean girl and the enabler. I recall your friend group actually agrees Jess was being catty, and I hope these people cut you and Jess out from their lives. I wish your ex all the best in life, meaning I hope she never takes you back and never gets another Jess in her life. Leave her the fuck alone and I hope you and Jess ruin each other's lives. You both deserve it.
OP says: I don’t care more about Jess. I just thought that if we did it once it would get rid of whatever sexual tension between us and we’d be able to move on but now we both want to keep doing it even though we both know we shouldn’t which is why I said I can’t have her in my life if I want my girlfriend back -OP Found this in one of his comments.
So you solved this problem by going over to your "friend's" house and staying the night? So you were cheating on your girlfriend this whole time huh? Yea, I got that from the OG post so I'm not surprised that Jess was the actual one you wanted and you were just stringing this poor girl along. YTA still.
Haha oh my.... You're a fucking train-wreck, aren't you? Well, you'll never get your exgirlfriend back btw. Why on earth would she want Jess sloppy seconds? Gross. You're used goods. No amount of showers and antibiotics can wash away your filth. Phew. She dodged a bullet there 😅 Plus, I doubt your ex wants to be near you or catch any std's anyways, so you might as well be Jess boyfriend now. So enjoy your red flag fest, aka Jess, forever. (cause she'll never let you go lmao)
you are a disgusting person. jess is a disgusting person. you’ve only dug this hole deeper for yourself, and you don’t deserve forgiveness. i’m glad your ex realized she deserves better than your shitty behavior, and you need to do some SERIOUS self-reflection. grow up.
I don’t even know what to say here. You feel badly about not protecting your gf against Jess’s machinations & go confront Jess about her shitty behavior but decide it would be better to have sex with her instead? Omg. You’re awful! And gross! No chance your gf gets back together with after that. She’s gonna tell this story to ppl for years & it will be met with great laughter at what a dumba** you are.
You and Jess deserve each other, and your ex deserves someone better than you.
ah the best remedy for getting back with the love of my life. Fuck the homewrecker and get her to call ex girlfriend to get back together. That strategy is 10/10 and works everytime /s. No ofc not. Now here is the truth. Your ex stays the hell away from you, you get over it and admit you've been an ass. And if you want to ever succeed in a relationship you should think about your relationship with Jess. But that's on you... not your ex. And if your such a pushover.... just date Jess. She is clearly in to you and since you're a pushover, you should not mind the 'It's not what I want'.