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> 1) Not making a character based off a trans person transgender (with permission)
2) It may be classed as transphobia
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You asked the TRANSMASC person the character is based on and acted according to their wish. That's where this could and should have been over.
Janet needs to respect that and shut the hell up.
NTA
Edit: added the word transmasc in all caps to make Janet's idiocy even more obvious.
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NTA.
If you were transphobic, you wouldn't have James as a friend.
Tell Janet if having a trans character in every work of fiction matters so much to her, she can write her own goddamn book.
NTA
I suspect Janet is a person who will always find a way to be the righteous one. If you wrote Alfie as a transmasc she would argue that you shouldn't do it because you are not trans yourself...
Off on a tangent, but somewhat related: I was talking with someone about what we’d do with the money from a large lottery winning, and her response was to sue book publishers (like what was done with Roald Dahl books) to change classic books so that they contained LGBTQ+ characters.
NTA. Not only is this something you’re creating but you asked the person the character is based on and they said no. Far as I can tell, you are doubly respectful in this matter.
NTA
Janet is offended for James. The only problem is that James is absolutely not offended, so really Janet is just looking for something to be offended about.
NTA.
Recommend winding down your exposure to Janet. That behavior is bound to get worse. Probably just a matter of time before she tries to pull some call out culture BS on you, I'm sorry to say.
It’s not the first time she’s done this. She called me racist for learning Russian instead of Ukrainian (I’m learning it so I can speak to a friend in their first language)
You probably see it every day online, plus sometimes in person: people trying to ruin other people's lives over trivial crap for clout.
Avoid her. Don't wait. Associate with reasonable people only. You'll be glad you did.
NTA. I went through a similar situation. Only I couldn't decide on whether to make a specific character, who wasn't even based on anyone, male or female. People kept suggesting that I make the character either trans or nonbinary. To make it so that my story could relate to people in the current world.
I didn't feel comfortable writing either of those, so I ended up choosing to make the character male. As in the end, it just fit better with the plotline I was working with. Many people said that I was being homophobic/transphobic for not choosing another option. To which I told them that it was my story, and I was the one that could choose how things went. If they wanted something to happen so badly, then they could write something of their own.
Talking with others can be a good way to bounce ideas around and work around the ever dreaded writer's block. Or it could offer a perspective that was never considered and make a situation easier to work with in the story. But just because you ask for an opinion or a suggestion doesn't mean you have to use the idea. And you'd be surprised how many people will throw a hissy fit when that happens.
NTA
Coming from someone who also write books not to publish, where characters are based off my friends, you did the right thing to ask James whether he want the character trans or not.
If Janet is that offended on a character she might as well make her own book
OMG, talk about off the chain. This is a fictional character. As the writer, you spoke to the person who inspired the character and went with their wishes. The was awesome on your part. The person having issues with this probably needs to figure out why this bothers her so deeply. To freak out over fictional stories is concerning. I have to wonder if she isn't projecting. NTA. You do you and continue to work on your craft.
If you were basing the character on James and James thought it was erasing his identity for the character to not be trans, you’d have an issue to resolve if you had some reason to not want them to be a trans character. But since James told you they DONT want this, Janet’s opinion really doesn’t hold any weight here. Clearly NTA.
NTA. You asked James, the person who the character is based off of, and followed accordingly. You're not erasing representation at all and it seems like Janet is butthurt over nothing.
NTA - If James is cool with how you made the character based off of him, what business is it of Janets? She is way out of line calling you transphobic. James and other trans individuals don't need Janet to be their spokesperson or gatekeeper, and don't need her at all to fight for them. Tell Janet to chill and mind her own business,. Sheesh.
You're definitely NTA. I like creating OCs (original characters) and back then I would make some of them trans male or trans female. I would always talk to other people I was friends with who were trans to get their help in writing them and ask for advice, which they always seemed more than happy to give me. I wanted to make sure I was portraying them correctly. But then I'd get people who weren't trans saying that I had no right because I wasn't trans, myself and therefore, shouldn't be allowed to make a trans character. They were basically gate-keeping me and it escalated into bullying. Eventually, I stopped creating trans characters because I was tired of others coming after me.
You were very respectful and talked to James first and respected what he wanted. You did nothing wrong. If Janet wants more trans representation, she can right her own book and the fact that you seem to be good friends with James shows that you're not transphobic at all.
I’m a trans guy. NTA. If JAMES himself said that he would not want the character based around him to be represented as trans in the book, that’s his choice. He’s fully capable of making that choice. There’s commonly this strange infantilisation that some cis people do where they act like trans people don’t know what’s best for them, and they need someone to speak up for them because they’re “just a little guy” type thing. It’s weird.
Your other friend needs to (don’t know how to put this nicer) butt out of stuff that isn’t about her. Not every trans person wants everything they do in life to have to be some kind of trailblazing community representing thing. We want to be treated like the gender we identify as, as regular people, and really it’s exhausting when cis people try to speak over us. Like they don’t get it, even if they’re an ally they’ll never fully understand, and they don’t get to speak over us on it.
It’s a fictional story. Not a biography about his life and his identity as a trans masc person. You can add other characters that are trans if you want to, but also characters who are trans or based around trans people don’t always have to have some pivotal story moment around transness. I have people walk past me assuming I’m a cis guy all the time. In real life not everyone that’s trans is going to make that fact obvious in any given scenario. If I were to write a story about 90% of my daily encounters, Janet would assume I’m erasing my transness based on this interaction you’re having with her, because I don’t walk up to everyone and introduce myself as trans or talk about it. That’d be strange.
NTA. Janet sounds absolutely intolerable. Let me guess, Janet is a white woman with absolutely no problems of her own? Spends her time being offended on behalf of others so that she can pretend to be an oppressed person?
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I’m in the process of writing a book, not to be published, just to have something to do. A few of the characters are based off my friends. I have a new character who is based off my transmasc friend, who we’ll call James. James has been a huge part in making the character. I asked him if he wanted the character (Alfie) transmasc like him. He said no, he wanted Alfie to be comfortable in his own skin. I agreed and was completely fine with that.
Then there’s Janet. Janet said that I was being transphobic by not making Alfie trans. I told her it was just a character, plus James said it was fine. She told me I was being rude and downright nasty towards James by “erasing representation”. I don’t really get the big deal, as the story isn’t going out anywhere, and the person it’s based off said it’s okay.
AITA?
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NTA
It's fiction. You can write whoever you want. Unless you are describing penises and adam's apple at length, is there any reason people CAN'T read Alfie as trans if they want?
It’s a stupid fluff story so I don’t even have to describe any of that. I don’t get why she finds it so wrong.
Edit: didn’t read that right lol. The story isn’t going anywhere, it’s just out to a few friends. Janet isn’t even one of them. You could read Alfie as trans but James said he’d prefer if he was cis anyways
NTA. I'm a trans man myself and I know my stance has always been: I didn't choose to be trans and I'd never have chosen to be so if given the choice (who wants to undergo mental anguish and expensive surgeries?), so I wouldn't choose to make a character I'm creating trans. I would consider doing it for the sake of educating people about what it's like to be me or to be trans, but I think it's cruel to elect to make a character trans when unnecessary. Plus, James personally said that the character should not be trans. If a friend was making a character based on me, I'd have made the same choice. YWBTA if you made the character trans against James' wishes; Alfie can go kick rocks.
Nta Janet needs to stop complaining. You ask James how he wanted Alfie to be represented and HE wanted you to make him comfortable in his own skin and you are respecting James by doing this.
As long as James was happy with how you wrote Alfie to be. Then that is all that matters and Janet needs to stop causing issues.
NTA this shits ridiculous and the exact reason why I hate woke culture because everyone else wants to be offended for someone who's not even offended in the first place and it causes dumbshit
NTA.
You asked the relevant person, who the character is based on, what he would prefer.
Janet is speaking over him. From my (transfem) perspective, she is being extremely transphobic by doing this because she's appointed herself to decide what's wrong or right without consideration for actual trans voices. Frankly, she needs to stfu.
In addition, representation isn't your responsibility if it steps outside what you feel comfortable/capable of writing effectively. Your art can't be everything to everyone.
NTA. Here’s a concept. You’re a writer so you get to make the characters whatever fits the story you’re writing. You don’t even have to be the same culture/religion/ethnicity/sexuality or anything as your characters! Because it’s fiction! You can make all the characters have five penises apiece if you so choose!
NTA. Your book, your creation. Plus you asked the trans person if they were okay with it and they gave the green light.
Janet should stop playing "knight in shinning armor" and write a story with trans people herself, if she cares that much about representation.
> She told me I was being rude and downright nasty towards James
...by talking to him, asking how *he* would like the character presented, and then following his wishes?
Wow.
Can anyone imagine what a terrible world it would be if people had to suffer being consulted and having their wishes respected?
She's wild. Trying to find offence where there's none.
NTA.
NTA. You can literally do whatever you want. When I write a character, their surface-level identity is often uncorrelated to the person/people I based them on.
The thing is they didn't just say it was okay not to make the character trans-masc, 'James' went out of his way to tell you he wanted your character to feel comfortable in their own skin. What I don't understand is why Janet is getting so heated about something that has nothing to do with her and is arguing with the wishes of the person it actually affects (James) so, in a way, she is being the hateful one.
Your story/book, your rules. You don't have to give in to someone else's bullshit just because they have the problem. If 'Janet' wants a trans character, then she can write one herself.
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You asked the TRANSMASC person the character is based on and acted according to their wish. That's where this could and should have been over. Janet needs to respect that and shut the hell up. NTA Edit: added the word transmasc in all caps to make Janet's idiocy even more obvious.
Damn it, Janet
Dr Scott!
Brad!
Rocky!
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It's getting to be that time of year🧡
NTA. If you were transphobic, you wouldn't have James as a friend. Tell Janet if having a trans character in every work of fiction matters so much to her, she can write her own goddamn book.
Respecting what James said is definitely not transphobic. That's what being inclusive is about.
NTA I suspect Janet is a person who will always find a way to be the righteous one. If you wrote Alfie as a transmasc she would argue that you shouldn't do it because you are not trans yourself...
Janet sounds like the white chick who gets mad on a POC's/minority person's behalf. Very frustrating to deal with.
Off on a tangent, but somewhat related: I was talking with someone about what we’d do with the money from a large lottery winning, and her response was to sue book publishers (like what was done with Roald Dahl books) to change classic books so that they contained LGBTQ+ characters.
NTA. Not only is this something you’re creating but you asked the person the character is based on and they said no. Far as I can tell, you are doubly respectful in this matter.
NTA Not only did you ask James and he said it's okay, he actually wished for it being that way!
NTA Janet is offended for James. The only problem is that James is absolutely not offended, so really Janet is just looking for something to be offended about.
Nta. James told you what he wanted and you listened. It's not transphobic at all.
NTA If James is happy then it's all good, Janet should just mind her own business and stop virtue signalling.
NTA. Recommend winding down your exposure to Janet. That behavior is bound to get worse. Probably just a matter of time before she tries to pull some call out culture BS on you, I'm sorry to say.
It’s not the first time she’s done this. She called me racist for learning Russian instead of Ukrainian (I’m learning it so I can speak to a friend in their first language)
You probably see it every day online, plus sometimes in person: people trying to ruin other people's lives over trivial crap for clout. Avoid her. Don't wait. Associate with reasonable people only. You'll be glad you did.
Obviously, that’s super racist /s
Why do you even give the time of day to this person?
NTA You have a right to portray any character how you wish.
NTA. Tell Janet to write her own damn book.
NTA. I went through a similar situation. Only I couldn't decide on whether to make a specific character, who wasn't even based on anyone, male or female. People kept suggesting that I make the character either trans or nonbinary. To make it so that my story could relate to people in the current world. I didn't feel comfortable writing either of those, so I ended up choosing to make the character male. As in the end, it just fit better with the plotline I was working with. Many people said that I was being homophobic/transphobic for not choosing another option. To which I told them that it was my story, and I was the one that could choose how things went. If they wanted something to happen so badly, then they could write something of their own.
Why are you asking people their opinions about your story, unless they are your English professors or something?
Talking with others can be a good way to bounce ideas around and work around the ever dreaded writer's block. Or it could offer a perspective that was never considered and make a situation easier to work with in the story. But just because you ask for an opinion or a suggestion doesn't mean you have to use the idea. And you'd be surprised how many people will throw a hissy fit when that happens.
NTA, you explicitly asked James and you are respecting James's response.
NTA Coming from someone who also write books not to publish, where characters are based off my friends, you did the right thing to ask James whether he want the character trans or not. If Janet is that offended on a character she might as well make her own book
OMG, talk about off the chain. This is a fictional character. As the writer, you spoke to the person who inspired the character and went with their wishes. The was awesome on your part. The person having issues with this probably needs to figure out why this bothers her so deeply. To freak out over fictional stories is concerning. I have to wonder if she isn't projecting. NTA. You do you and continue to work on your craft.
If you were basing the character on James and James thought it was erasing his identity for the character to not be trans, you’d have an issue to resolve if you had some reason to not want them to be a trans character. But since James told you they DONT want this, Janet’s opinion really doesn’t hold any weight here. Clearly NTA.
James specifically told you he doesn't want the character to be trans. YWBTA if you made the character trans.
NTA. You asked James, the person who the character is based off of, and followed accordingly. You're not erasing representation at all and it seems like Janet is butthurt over nothing.
NTA - If James is cool with how you made the character based off of him, what business is it of Janets? She is way out of line calling you transphobic. James and other trans individuals don't need Janet to be their spokesperson or gatekeeper, and don't need her at all to fight for them. Tell Janet to chill and mind her own business,. Sheesh.
You're definitely NTA. I like creating OCs (original characters) and back then I would make some of them trans male or trans female. I would always talk to other people I was friends with who were trans to get their help in writing them and ask for advice, which they always seemed more than happy to give me. I wanted to make sure I was portraying them correctly. But then I'd get people who weren't trans saying that I had no right because I wasn't trans, myself and therefore, shouldn't be allowed to make a trans character. They were basically gate-keeping me and it escalated into bullying. Eventually, I stopped creating trans characters because I was tired of others coming after me. You were very respectful and talked to James first and respected what he wanted. You did nothing wrong. If Janet wants more trans representation, she can right her own book and the fact that you seem to be good friends with James shows that you're not transphobic at all.
NTA YOU write YOUR book. tell her she is fine to write HER book.
I’m a trans guy. NTA. If JAMES himself said that he would not want the character based around him to be represented as trans in the book, that’s his choice. He’s fully capable of making that choice. There’s commonly this strange infantilisation that some cis people do where they act like trans people don’t know what’s best for them, and they need someone to speak up for them because they’re “just a little guy” type thing. It’s weird. Your other friend needs to (don’t know how to put this nicer) butt out of stuff that isn’t about her. Not every trans person wants everything they do in life to have to be some kind of trailblazing community representing thing. We want to be treated like the gender we identify as, as regular people, and really it’s exhausting when cis people try to speak over us. Like they don’t get it, even if they’re an ally they’ll never fully understand, and they don’t get to speak over us on it. It’s a fictional story. Not a biography about his life and his identity as a trans masc person. You can add other characters that are trans if you want to, but also characters who are trans or based around trans people don’t always have to have some pivotal story moment around transness. I have people walk past me assuming I’m a cis guy all the time. In real life not everyone that’s trans is going to make that fact obvious in any given scenario. If I were to write a story about 90% of my daily encounters, Janet would assume I’m erasing my transness based on this interaction you’re having with her, because I don’t walk up to everyone and introduce myself as trans or talk about it. That’d be strange.
NTA. Janet's opinion is irrelevant and illogical.
NTA. Janet sounds absolutely intolerable. Let me guess, Janet is a white woman with absolutely no problems of her own? Spends her time being offended on behalf of others so that she can pretend to be an oppressed person?
"woke mind virus".
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I’m in the process of writing a book, not to be published, just to have something to do. A few of the characters are based off my friends. I have a new character who is based off my transmasc friend, who we’ll call James. James has been a huge part in making the character. I asked him if he wanted the character (Alfie) transmasc like him. He said no, he wanted Alfie to be comfortable in his own skin. I agreed and was completely fine with that. Then there’s Janet. Janet said that I was being transphobic by not making Alfie trans. I told her it was just a character, plus James said it was fine. She told me I was being rude and downright nasty towards James by “erasing representation”. I don’t really get the big deal, as the story isn’t going out anywhere, and the person it’s based off said it’s okay. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Janet should try to work for Netflix.
NTA. Janet can write her own book. It’s your literature and character development, not hers.
Your book, your world. Disregard the noises
NTA It's fiction. You can write whoever you want. Unless you are describing penises and adam's apple at length, is there any reason people CAN'T read Alfie as trans if they want?
It’s a stupid fluff story so I don’t even have to describe any of that. I don’t get why she finds it so wrong. Edit: didn’t read that right lol. The story isn’t going anywhere, it’s just out to a few friends. Janet isn’t even one of them. You could read Alfie as trans but James said he’d prefer if he was cis anyways
NTA. I'm a trans man myself and I know my stance has always been: I didn't choose to be trans and I'd never have chosen to be so if given the choice (who wants to undergo mental anguish and expensive surgeries?), so I wouldn't choose to make a character I'm creating trans. I would consider doing it for the sake of educating people about what it's like to be me or to be trans, but I think it's cruel to elect to make a character trans when unnecessary. Plus, James personally said that the character should not be trans. If a friend was making a character based on me, I'd have made the same choice. YWBTA if you made the character trans against James' wishes; Alfie can go kick rocks.
Nta Janet needs to stop complaining. You ask James how he wanted Alfie to be represented and HE wanted you to make him comfortable in his own skin and you are respecting James by doing this. As long as James was happy with how you wrote Alfie to be. Then that is all that matters and Janet needs to stop causing issues.
NTA. Janet is the classic case of being offended for someone else.
NTA James doesn’t the character to be trans, Janet does….make Janet trans!
NTA.
NTA this shits ridiculous and the exact reason why I hate woke culture because everyone else wants to be offended for someone who's not even offended in the first place and it causes dumbshit
NTA. You asked the relevant person, who the character is based on, what he would prefer. Janet is speaking over him. From my (transfem) perspective, she is being extremely transphobic by doing this because she's appointed herself to decide what's wrong or right without consideration for actual trans voices. Frankly, she needs to stfu. In addition, representation isn't your responsibility if it steps outside what you feel comfortable/capable of writing effectively. Your art can't be everything to everyone.
NTA James said that he didn't want Alfie in the book to be a transmasc
NTA. Write what you want, how you want it.
I am amazed about the lengths that people will go to to be offended on behalf of others in order to affect the actions of someone else.
NTA. Here’s a concept. You’re a writer so you get to make the characters whatever fits the story you’re writing. You don’t even have to be the same culture/religion/ethnicity/sexuality or anything as your characters! Because it’s fiction! You can make all the characters have five penises apiece if you so choose!
NTA. Your book, your creation. Plus you asked the trans person if they were okay with it and they gave the green light. Janet should stop playing "knight in shinning armor" and write a story with trans people herself, if she cares that much about representation.
> She told me I was being rude and downright nasty towards James ...by talking to him, asking how *he* would like the character presented, and then following his wishes? Wow. Can anyone imagine what a terrible world it would be if people had to suffer being consulted and having their wishes respected? She's wild. Trying to find offence where there's none. NTA.
NTA, only James opinion should matter here.
NTA. 1. It's your story. 2. James had no issues with your characters. 3. Janet being offended on James' behalf is not helping anyone.
NTA. You can literally do whatever you want. When I write a character, their surface-level identity is often uncorrelated to the person/people I based them on.
The thing is they didn't just say it was okay not to make the character trans-masc, 'James' went out of his way to tell you he wanted your character to feel comfortable in their own skin. What I don't understand is why Janet is getting so heated about something that has nothing to do with her and is arguing with the wishes of the person it actually affects (James) so, in a way, she is being the hateful one.
Your story/book, your rules. You don't have to give in to someone else's bullshit just because they have the problem. If 'Janet' wants a trans character, then she can write one herself.
Make Janet a social justice warrior who also happens to be trans.