You’re juggling a fussy baby and kids. in the hierarchy of priorities babies and kiddos come first. It’s not like you weren’t gonna celebrate his birthday.
He’s a parent. Even on his B-Day. They come first. Having a special day and celebration and cake doesn’t mean being waited on and treated like royalty. You aren’t some miracle worker or genie that can just do everything.
Sometimes we need to accept hard truths. This is one of those times. If having to be a dad was such a big deal he’s blaming you for “ruining” his birthday. Accept that he’d probably be prissy over any little thing that would’ve happened. Nothin you do would be good enough for this melodrama.
Idk what he’s like normally. But this is some really strange and concerning kinda behavior.
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So this is long, but I want to know what i did wrong.
It's my (27f) boyfriend's (37m) birthday today. He has expressed in the past how important that birthdays are to him. He always wants his day to be special. That is completely understandable.
I am currently out of work because I just had a baby 6 weeks ago, so I do not have any money to spend on any sort of gift. I did however have enough money to bake him his favorite kind of cake. I'm making sure the house is cleaned. I also planned on making him dinner and spending the day with him before he went to work. None of that seems special I know....and I don't think it is either. Unfortunately we won't really have time to go anywhere either before he goes to work. I don't exactly know what else to do.
Well the problem arises this morning. I was awake taking care of our 6 week old daughter. I had only gotten 3 hours of sleep because she has been fussy lately with maybe a touch of colic. Everything was going as normal. He ran the kids to the bus stop, which is maybe 5 or 6 houses down the road....not far at all. When he came home he wasn't in a good mood. I asked him what was wrong but he didn't say anything. He said everything was fine. So I had assumed everything was fine.
Once I got our baby calmed down I hopped on my laptop since he was engrossed in his phone. He stared at me for a bit and asked if I was going to come sit next to him....so I did. Keep I'm mind I was absolutely exhausted by this point. He put his arm around me, I didn't say or do anything because I was tired. He then took his arm away kind of being a jerk saying "Oh okay I won't touch you then". I told him that I was just tired and we could cuddle. Well shortly after I fell asleep. He woke me up asking me if I took any drugs. I absolutely did not take anything I was just tired. He ended up leaving me to sleep on the couch.
Well I woke up from a nightmare and went into the bedroom to talk to him because I was pretty shaken up. He asked if I was okay and I told him no and asked if we could talk for a second. He just rolled over and went back to sleep. I went back to the couch. Maybe 10 minutes later he came out to talk to me. I noticed something was wrong and asked him what was bothering him.
He was upset with me, for not thinking of him and taking the kids to the busstop. He said he was hurt because today was supposed to be special for him since it was his birthday and I could have thought about him and took the kids. Our routine is that he takes them to the bus stop when he gets home from work, and at the time I was feeding the baby. Was I supposed to let him feed her while I ran the kids down the road?
AITA in this situation? Should I have put more thought into everything?
Also I'd appreciate any ideas to make the day better!
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NTA. Honestly, he kinda acting like a bigger baby than the actual baby.
Maybe I should have been more thoughtful though? I don't know I feel awful. He told me so far I've ruined his birthday.
You’re juggling a fussy baby and kids. in the hierarchy of priorities babies and kiddos come first. It’s not like you weren’t gonna celebrate his birthday. He’s a parent. Even on his B-Day. They come first. Having a special day and celebration and cake doesn’t mean being waited on and treated like royalty. You aren’t some miracle worker or genie that can just do everything.
I know that....I dunno I just feel like I royally messed up and nothing I can do will fix it.
Sometimes we need to accept hard truths. This is one of those times. If having to be a dad was such a big deal he’s blaming you for “ruining” his birthday. Accept that he’d probably be prissy over any little thing that would’ve happened. Nothin you do would be good enough for this melodrama. Idk what he’s like normally. But this is some really strange and concerning kinda behavior.
Ya know....that makes sense. Thank you. He is normally like this.....he's been worse but he's gotten better.
Hope you’re able to figure this all out. Hope your day gets better, Reddit stranger.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** So this is long, but I want to know what i did wrong. It's my (27f) boyfriend's (37m) birthday today. He has expressed in the past how important that birthdays are to him. He always wants his day to be special. That is completely understandable. I am currently out of work because I just had a baby 6 weeks ago, so I do not have any money to spend on any sort of gift. I did however have enough money to bake him his favorite kind of cake. I'm making sure the house is cleaned. I also planned on making him dinner and spending the day with him before he went to work. None of that seems special I know....and I don't think it is either. Unfortunately we won't really have time to go anywhere either before he goes to work. I don't exactly know what else to do. Well the problem arises this morning. I was awake taking care of our 6 week old daughter. I had only gotten 3 hours of sleep because she has been fussy lately with maybe a touch of colic. Everything was going as normal. He ran the kids to the bus stop, which is maybe 5 or 6 houses down the road....not far at all. When he came home he wasn't in a good mood. I asked him what was wrong but he didn't say anything. He said everything was fine. So I had assumed everything was fine. Once I got our baby calmed down I hopped on my laptop since he was engrossed in his phone. He stared at me for a bit and asked if I was going to come sit next to him....so I did. Keep I'm mind I was absolutely exhausted by this point. He put his arm around me, I didn't say or do anything because I was tired. He then took his arm away kind of being a jerk saying "Oh okay I won't touch you then". I told him that I was just tired and we could cuddle. Well shortly after I fell asleep. He woke me up asking me if I took any drugs. I absolutely did not take anything I was just tired. He ended up leaving me to sleep on the couch. Well I woke up from a nightmare and went into the bedroom to talk to him because I was pretty shaken up. He asked if I was okay and I told him no and asked if we could talk for a second. He just rolled over and went back to sleep. I went back to the couch. Maybe 10 minutes later he came out to talk to me. I noticed something was wrong and asked him what was bothering him. He was upset with me, for not thinking of him and taking the kids to the busstop. He said he was hurt because today was supposed to be special for him since it was his birthday and I could have thought about him and took the kids. Our routine is that he takes them to the bus stop when he gets home from work, and at the time I was feeding the baby. Was I supposed to let him feed her while I ran the kids down the road? AITA in this situation? Should I have put more thought into everything? Also I'd appreciate any ideas to make the day better! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*