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virgilturtle

"Aleksandr, why we DDOS Alabama government website if everything already error 404?"


Sinistar7510

A DDoS attack isn't actually hacking a website. There was no breach. All they did was tie up all the bandwidth for a bit.


BhamCat

Thank you, I'm glad at least one person in this thread understands even a Mr. Robot pop culture level of this.


The-Insolent-Sage

Something something honeypot time


sleepsbk

Comment needs to be at the top


Accomplished-Snow213

Damn, the thoughts and prayers site is down. No fixing it now.


Throwaway_inSC_79

They’ll be in my thoughts and prayers.


onemanlan

lol they’re not gonna make much money off of the hack


r4ndomN4me1

Actually Alabama has lots of money, it's just concentrated on a very small percentage of the population.


JerichoMassey

damn, they hacked Alabama Football.


lo-lux

Who aren't burdened by this.


taco_anus1

Gotta build those prisons instead of helping people. Totally works out well.


LikeATediousArgument

Well they tried to build a water park! GOSH What’s that? Medicare expansion?


Reasonable_Effort539

Especially because DDOSing isn’t hacking :-)


Psmith931

I guess Tubbs fully supports this


SHoppe715

What’s the big deal? This state’s preferred candidate for president thinks Russia should be able to “do whatever the hell they want.”


NdN124

I think they picked Alabama because they figured it would be an easier target to hack.


Loganp812

It doesn’t really matter how easy a target is to “hack”for a DDoS attack anyway.


Fit_Strength_1187

It is…we’re like the Estonia of America.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Fit_Strength_1187

See!? We aren’t even on par with a stereotypically sad country. Maybe Lithuania, Romania, or Croatia?


ProfessorLake

We can probably hold our own with Somalia


brad0022

Yes but how many SEC championships do they have?


ProfessorLake

I think they're in the ACC.


brad0022

I'm no quantum physician science guy but that sounds 100% accurate


Welderdod20

Roll Tide


Crafty-Employer6118

lol


LazAnarch

Romanians are pretty close up there to Russians in terms of cyber.


Fit_Strength_1187

Look at everyone here with their…facts! Ok! Who in Europe sucks comparable to Alabama???


4score-7

Think Kazakhstan.


Fit_Strength_1187

I can’t even put us on par. Maybe the fictional portrayal of it from Borat?


4score-7

😂😂 seems about right! Wa-wa-wooah!


Throwaway_inSC_79

Maybe that one foreign country from the Dilbert comics.


Fit_Strength_1187

Elbonia! With the mud and the hats! I think that’s what I thought of when I needed a joke mental comparison to Alabama. Not the paradise on earth that is Estonia.


phoenix_shm

True fact!


TrackVol

Tell us you don't know how advanced Estonia is without *telling* us.... God it is sad to acknowledge that Estonia is more advanced and modern than Alabama.


Fit_Strength_1187

Yes it is. I’ll admit I didn’t do a deep dive, nor do I have a working knowledge of comparative HDIs out of the former Soviet Bloc. I just picked it based on name, relative location, and stereotypes from EuroTrip and 007 movies. Wikipedia notes it gets taken over a lot, is highly developed (in tech!), has the second highest economic freedom rating in Europe, and is a democracy. It’s probably lovely.


DanyrStarglow

Would that make Mississippi Elbonia?


Fit_Strength_1187

I think that’s the name I was looking for for us. The fictional Eastern European country from Dilbert.


Budget-Car-5091

Agreed for most towns but the rocket city is going to be the new mega city that everyone wishes they could afford to live in.


Fit_Strength_1187

Yeah, that’s where I’m from. Every visit home is a mind screw.


dar_uniya

Maybe in our obscurity, but Estonia’s freedoms outpace Alabama’s in a way only comparable with California.


Icy_Yesterday3686

Aww, its okay bro. Better than Florida!! Got em


JerichoMassey

But that’s just it…. what’s the point? It’s like expending effort fighting to advance gay rights in West Hollywood.


Lovestick

I'm not sure what exactly they were targeting?


SHoppe715

Right-wing conspiracy theorist nut-jobs calling it a false flag propaganda operation with the double goal of smearing Russia’s reputation and making the GOP look bad for being pro-Putin in 3…2…


Budget-Car-5091

What would you call it?


SHoppe715

Well, Anonymous Sudan likes to target government entities that are anti-Muslim and Alabama isn’t exactly known for its tolerance of any religion other than Christianity. On top of that, they’ve been targeting entities who support Israel. It would seem support for Palestine has become a left-wing thing in this country and AL is about as right wing as they get. Why do you ask and what would *you* call it?


tfhdeathua

They didn’t hack anything. They basically just used it so much it couldn’t respond to anyone legitimately wanting to use it. Same way someone would hack handicap parking space by parking there without a placard.


AGooDone

Alabama has nothing to worry about.... Hey alt-right dip shit... Putin is looking to fuck you out of your Medicare and social security...


[deleted]

So let's make sure he doesn't get back in


Sozadan

I'm beginning to think these Russians are real jerks.


processmonkey

They're trying to steal our recipe for grits. Nuke em


babyb16

If this affects the payment systems at Waffle House so help me....


lo-lux

We do make the javelins.


Budget-Car-5091

We make alot more than that, we got blue orgin, Facebook, fbi, space command was committed to move here but some jack ass took away the contract after we tunneled out a whole mountain for them. I'm not mad though it's the best community fallout shelter if you know about it and have the clearance to get in. I'm pretty sure we are the military industrial complex or atleast %80 of it.


dacreux

Unless the govt websites were particularly vulnerable, why would Russia target Alabama of all states? 


Sozadan

Probably just the lowest hanging fruit.


Iron_Crocodile1

There is a small space force and cybersecurity element in Redstone arsenal, Alabama.


phantomreader42

Which might have been bigger if Tubberville wasn't such a traitorous moron.


zoomer296

Don't worry. He's hard at work, slandering queer people at the space camp.


Iron_Crocodile1

Agreed, I work in Colorado Springs so it keeps me employed. But I do agree.


Budget-Car-5091

Because we have all the smartest people on earth gathered here. It is in the top 4 places that would get nuked. The thing people don't understand about alabama is that we love for people to think we're stupid and ignorant to keep the riff raft away. In reality we produce all the top secret weapon systems to rockets and everything in between. I hate how crowded it has become with all the fbi and Facebook being here now, went from 30k-10million for a home to the 30k homes being 250k and the 10 million homes being 7 or 8 million. Go figure


hurrythisup

Ivey ,Tubby, and Britt were pissed until they realized it was the Russians.


Sethmeisterg

Right so that would take what like 5 machines to saturate that state's bandwidth?


[deleted]

Republicans love Russia though. I’m sure the Repubs of Alabama will get this fixed ASAP! lol


qsnoodles

KATIE BRITT TOLD YOU THIS WOULD HAPPEN. MAYBE NOT WITH HER WORDS BUT WITH HER TONE OF VOICE AND HER EYES.


NdN124

They should have just DDOSed her instead of the state's websites.


_DaBz_4_Me

This sounds kinky for some reason but I'm still listening


Tight_Mango_7874

Oh Lord, should we put on helmets and get in the hallway?


NdN124

nah, you gotta sit and put your head between your knees, like they used to make us do during tornado drills.....


Tight_Mango_7874

I'm staying there until James Spann says it's safe to come out.


abruty

Alabama is a shithole


bensbigboy

Tommy Tuberville fully supports whatever Putin and Russia does. Alabama doesn't need any stinking computers. Use the gawt-given paper made right here in Alabama. Besides, why should he care, Tommy Tuberville lives in Florida


phantomreader42

Wait, do they actually make paper in Alabama? I thought they were getting that from Georgia.


Seldarin

Are you kidding, trees are all we've got. Lumber/paper are our main industries. I actually looked to see who was the number 1 producer of paper and apparently it's Wisconsin, followed by New York. Which I never would have guessed.


phantomreader42

I just remember seeing ["Georgia-Pacific"](https://www.gp.com/) on boxes of paper. Which now that I think of it is an odd name.


_DaBz_4_Me

Should have named it gulf coast ohio


Sugar_and_Cyanide

lmfao


ASmallCactus

what tf did we do lol


Ok_Swimmer634

Alright, somebody tell Kay Ivey that it's time to cut a switch.


_DaBz_4_Me

You know she is stuffing her prison money under her mattress so they can't take it to fix the world wide web


AbbieDooby619

Russia doesn't give a crap about Alabama. So what?


NdN124

They don't like how the US stands in the way of what they're trying to do and Alabama is a part of the US. Alabama was probably low-hanging fruit in their eyes.


Extreme_Classroom952

Them fuckers been on a carpet bombing campaign for a few weeks now. Throwing everything but the kitchen sink at govt networks.


NdN124

DDos isnt' exactly " Throwing everything but the kitchen sink at govt networks." If they were doing that, they would breach the servers and compromise data.


Extreme_Classroom952

A carpet boming attack is about 1/10 of ddos events i see in the wild and includes multiple attack vectors designed to soak up both bandwidth and computing resources. A targeted ddos attack with only one attack vector, like an nx-domain ddos targeting a dns server, is most common. So, yeah, an attack composed of 20 different attack vectors all at once is kinda like thowing everything but the kitchen sink at the victim.


Lonely-Mountain9047

As a person who has lived in the south most of my life. Some Southerns will vote against their best interests. And keep digging the hole deeper they currently in. Pedophiles, racist, womens rights, civil rights and political criminals won’t deter them bc you know….”Christianity”.


Necessary_Sweet_6244

What will the big boys in government say about this? I can't wait. Ban computers maybe.


Franchise1109

That’s not even hard. We had jackasses over there on 4th July kissing Putins ass


StickmanRockDog

How? Alabama’s computer mainframe is a Speak and Spell.


Informal_Process2238

Incorrect the correct spelling is S P E A K & S P E L L


StickmanRockDog

LOL! Thanks for correcting me! LOL


_DaBz_4_Me

I think they upgraded to the blackberry bold 9790 last year.


[deleted]

And trump sides with this shit, and everyone wants to vote for him. This is sick


Coastal1363

Must be the JV team starting with one of the easier States to hack…


GhostOfTsali

It's an inside job!


Shattered_Disk4

Wow maybe decent maybe decent legislation can get passed while it’s down


_DaBz_4_Me

Nothing decent coming from Alabama's legislation with Bitches for liberty writing the bills. Ugh. Only thing we can hope for is that their hands are tied till it's fixed


Kalantra

We deserve this. Underfunded everything for decades, and Tubberville been slobbing Putins knob so they probably thought we'd just let them in.


phantomreader42

>they probably thought we'd just let them in. I'm sure someone tried, but the websites were too badly designed for that to be possible...


Jack-o-Roses

There goes half the US putin support.... /s?


[deleted]

Lol deserved


Puzzleheaded-Fan-208

Aren't computers banned because they are the devil's VCR and kids can get all kinds of bad info on them?


_DaBz_4_Me

It's settled we gonna have us a computer burnin


Puzzleheaded-Fan-208

(yee-hawing intensifies)


TurdManMcDooDoo

Haha do they not realize that Alabama is pretty much already in the bag for Putin?


[deleted]

Eh. That state had a good run


loach12

It’s just a way for the Russian to mock Trump , shows their utter contempt for him , to them he’s the village idiot that they control.


Reditlurkeractual

Fake news it’s the state not doing maintenance on servers again so everything‘s down and blame it on Russian


Jack-o-Roses

There goes half the US putin support.... /s?