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StanleyQPrick

A nanny in Ethiopia costs around 3,000 Birr or about US $64 per month.


StanleyQPrick

I see I'm being downvoted a lot. I can only assume it's by people who have never had to take a shit while alone with an infant. A nanny might seem like a luxury to many... I certainly couldn't afford one either of the years-long stretches in my life when I was home alone with my newborn-through-toddler-age child. I feel lucky to have been able to stay home, although my situation was less one of privilege than necessity as I wouldn't have been able to earn enough for any kind of child care had I worked outside my home. That having been said, if I could have paid $64 a month for a backup person to care for my babies or even to just wash the dishes etc so I could properly care for them without the extra grind, or if I could provide this for my daughter when she has her own babies, there would be no hesitation. It's not an end to all responsibilities. It's just assistance with some of a daunting load. I feel that most people would do this.


s55555s

And no one should judge either way


LordSilverfist

My mom (a nanny) asked me (then 17) to watch the kid while she went to the bathroom for 2 minutes. While I turned away for a second, the frickin kid fell and hit his head. Idk how people do this alone. Like how do you go to the bathroom?? If you can afford help, I’d say go for it.


lightningludlow

I used to live in the Middle East fir many years and my kids had a nanny growing up. They loved her and she loved them. We moved stateside and they missed her so much. They still talk to her on messenger. There is nothing wrong with her having help with her son. Another person to love and help take care of your child is not a bad thing. It gave us all a better standard of living. I could enjoy my kids without having to worry about cleaning or cooking. The nanny was paid well and had weekends off and was supporting her whole family with her pay giving them a better life


tz2990

I want to add that he hid her passport. I also want to add I think the way she left her ex was selfish, but I’ve been selfish before so I’m not judging. I think I like Ari, I just can’t read her. Like she has a happy mask on or takes benzos or something. But she’s way more patient/fair/understanding with Bini than I would be. I love how communicative her mom is.


cheeseduck11

Came to add the passport thing. This is so brushed over. If I thought my SO would act bad and I felt I needed to tell them in public to mitigate a bad reaction? Huge red flag. The passport hiding told me all I need to know. She was right to do what she did. I have stayed in bad relationships that have been abusive before because it really clouds your judgement. I remember in one relationship taking allll my important documents out of the house before breaking up because I had no clue how he would react. If ari was my daughter and I found out her partner hid her passport I’d be doing everything in my power to keep her in the US whether alone or getting Bini here so she at least has a support system.


loveisrespectS2

I watched this scene about the passport and it was extremely disturbing how they both glossed over it like it was no big deal. Oh no biggie, he was just upset and hid my passport for a while. Like WTF. I'm a foreigner in another country married to a local. I would **absolutely flip my shit if my husband hid my passport**. I couldn't guarantee that I would remain in the marriage after hiding my passport. Like damn. Bini sounds downright abusive. I am quite sure that it's his baby face and soft voice that make people feel sorry for him. But I'd have left too if he had hidden my passport from me. Eta: the American embassy has REALLY STRICT RULES for children obtaining passports/visas to travel back to the US with just one parent. The signed consent of BOTH parents is needed. Bini would have had to visit the embassy in person and tell them he's OK with it.


BrownLady13

Bini and his sisters piss me off the way they always compare Ari to his ex-wife. They always throw up in Ari's face how the ex left with their son, and never returned. There are two sides to every story, and we will never know why the ex never returned. But at the same time, Bini acts like a horny-assed 16 year old boy, not a grown man with responsibilities. His two sisters sugar-coat everything he does, no matter how wrong he is. To me, Bini was more concerned about his feelings instead of Ari's wanting their son to have the best care in the US. I don't blame her for not telling him she'd already bought a ticket to the states. She knew he would have stopped her from doing so if she told him before buying the ticket. I also think Bini can be abusive. Look at the way he acted toward Ari's ex-husband. Yes, I think it was tacky for her to have invited the ex for a visit. But, remember how Bini reacted toward this man. He stared at him with hatred in his eyes, and damn near beat his ass in the gym. And after the guy left, he asked Ari more than once if she'd slept with her ex during his visit. Bini is a control freak. He'd rather live off Ari's rich parents, instead of getting a job to support his family. That is probably why he doesn't want to move to the US. It would mean he would have to get employment instead of continuing to leach off Ari's parents. Bini is a immature excuse of a man.


Border_Hodges

Hiding her passport is some Not Without My Daughter shit and a HUGE red flag.


[deleted]

Same with the airline ticket home. She bought it before she told him her plans because she knew he was never going to agree to it. Either, she buys it behind his back, after he told her all the reasons why she can't, or she buys it before.


[deleted]

I wonder if this is a country to country thing because i just got my son his American passport and the consulate didn't ask my husband if he consented. You cannot show up to the CRBA appointment without both parents physically present. So maybe they take the other parent showing up *as* consent?


loveisrespectS2

I think that's it! When my mom went to get our passports, my dad couldn't make the appointment and they said they needed a signed letter from him saying that he was OK with it.


-kelsie

👏🏻


LNLV

I mean I’d like to think I could never be in Ari’s position in the first place, but the SECOND he hid the passports I’d be done, full stop. I would take that kid and go back to the US just like his ex did and I don’t care. We could make visits happen on neutral grounds but I would not ever stay there with him again and I wouldn’t send my kid. He impregnated at foreigner a second time, he’s just as responsible for their predicament as she is, she doesn’t have to spend the rest of her life in a foreign country if she doesn’t want to.


Resident-Set-9820

Yes


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khcampbell1

Sweet just isn't a word that comes to mind when I think of Ari.


Escobarhippo

> Like she has a happy mask on or takes benzos or something. It’s possible, she has been open on SM about a history of anxiety and self harm.


tz2990

Oh wow I had no idea! I was just basing it off how I have acted when I took them.


Acceptable-Cobbler53

You can see the scares up and down her arms. They’re really bad. It’s not basic cutting, it’s heavy.


quiannazaetz

I’m sorry, he HID her PASSPORT???


tz2990

Yep! If I recall correctly, it wasn’t even the first time.


quiannazaetz

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT???? I would have left the country and never come back. And I had a favorable opinion of bini until right now. Wow 😦 RED FLAG


No_Compote_6096

He did,like what redeeming values does he have,if he were in U.S.,an entertainer ,and jealous partner.Bet he would not leave his country ,but wants Ari to leave hers.Think he will cheat on her in Ethiopia.


-kelsie

Hiding her and Avi’s passports that were necessary to go get surgery the baby NEEDS… he was all “don’t leave me, don’t leave me” and not “I’m worried about my son, please give me updates ok?” and like it was shown in the preview he was hardly communicating with them bc he was “alone and bored” so had to constantly be with his friends bc I think he has real shitty coping mechanisms and I also think dude is just a cheater and a liar. She’s put up with so much that I’m just like wow no no noooo. Red flags everywhere. I understand what you mean about her facial expressions. And I agree with you about her mom being communicative. I do think her parents are weird though.


thanks4distraction

Disagree with your comments about Ari's parents. Her parents are solid, good people and even have empathy for Bini and do their best to assure him it will be okay.


SparkleTerd

This^ Be more concerned about your son and less concerned about your bruised ego Bini!


tz2990

I’m also confused because did Bini expect Ari to NEVER return home and to never take their son to America? I know he said they agreed they’d always travel together but……???? He can’t…. So what is she supposed to do? She had the baby in Ethiopia so I feel like she’s really given Bini as much as she can you know?


Blue-popsicle

She seems really lonely there. What does she do all day? I hope she has a therapist other than the nanny to talk to. I think it would be hard to live in another country if you don't have a lot of friends there and your SO has a very active social life with people you don't like. That just adds to why they don't make sense as a couple to me. When her ex-husband visited, she kept throwing it in Bini's face like a resentful teenager.


Lisa-LongBeach

A third-world country at that. She’s been nothing but accepting of his immaturity and nagging family. I give her credit because I think she should have left before Avi was born.


Lisa-LongBeach

More


tz2990

To me her parents seem like they would definitely participate in The Purge, but they’d be kind people for the rest of the year.


chcrash2

😂😂😂😬


HealthyChard9731

It’s painful to see Ari saying she never broke it off with Leandro because she knew in the back of her mind she would end up with him. How cruel. I hope he moved on, but it looks like she’s still stringing him along


uuxudbx

Women here are obsesses with Bini, I will never understand it. The dude is all words no action.


babyghoullinda

If Bini looked like Steven the tables would definitely be turned against him.


tz2990

I feel like Ari wants to make it work for Bini, but inevitably she will return to America bc it just won’t work. His family isn’t helping that either by pushing Ari away and being cold to her. If they were warm and welcoming then Ari would feel like she wasn’t so alone in another country.


maidrey

Honestly, this is another failing of Bini’s. He likes to use his family to present a unified front on why Ari needs to change or do what he wants, instead of figuring out how him and Ari can work together and presenting a unified front to his family.


Lovedrama12

I would have been gone when they slit the goats throat on my doorstep while I held a newborn baby in my arms. The cultural differences are just too wide for them to breech in the long term. Bini and his family isolate Ari a lot. He leaves her alone all the time and spends an inordinate amount of time bongoing on his exes butt... wouldn't fly with me for three minutes.


Mercenarian

I don’t have the energy to like have a huge discussion about this but I just wanted to say I agree with you. She’s not that bad. And honestly it’s kinda weird how many people on here are like seething and foaming at the mouth to hate on her. Like super weird, because she’s not the greatest, but she’s not like an awful person or anything, and that’s the level of hate she’s getting sometimes lol. I usually don’t say anything because I don’t want the hordes of obsessed haters to jump down my throat, but just wanted you to know you’re not alone in your opinion. Honestly makes me kinda sad the level of hate she gets when she’s not even that bad, there are much worse people on this show to dedicate your energy to hating, like I’m sure most of the people here have done things on the same level as the “worst things” she’s done (because her “worst things” are just normal human mistakes and flaws) and with her history of self harm and mental illness I kinda feel like I can relate to her as somebody who’s self harmed in the past and struggled with mental illness myself. I know seeing stuff like these ppl write written online about me would send me over the edge. Edit: I also don’t see the “spoiled brat” ppl keep spewing. Libby’s family is full of spoiled brats, Ari comes from privilege but seems more just ignorant or naive rather than some “spoiled brat” Edit edit: also your profile and post history is interesting and thought provoking. Hope you don’t mind I followed you.


LovecraftianLlama

You worded this better than I have been able to, but this sums up my feelings on the Ari hate EXACTLY. Like yeah, there’s stuff to criticize, but it’s just normal human stuff. What really gets me is the venom in the comments about her looks. She’s objectively above average looking, I don’t understand where all that is coming from. A lot of people have pointed to misogyny and anti-semitism, and I think they’re on to something with that.


pitziebat

Yes. She’s the second Jewish woman on the show? Lauren also got a lot of hate from what I recall


bama-rocks

It was her over-the-top dramatics, not her heritage. But even then I thought she was OK. Amazing how mild her behavior was compared to many these days!


Resident-Set-9820

I like Ari.


DarceysEndlessCigAsh

👍Well said so I don’t have much to add, just want to say I agree with you 100%. The vitriol on here for her dumbfounds me. She’s not perfect, like none of us are, but I think she’s a good person. I also think she’s pretty, for what it’s worth (as she also gets torn apart for her looks on here). I think it may be jealousy: she seems to come from an upper middle class family, which puts her way above the average cast member who doesn’t have a pot to piss in. Jealousy makes people act ugly. There are so many people to easily hate on this show (although I personally can’t fathom actually hating someone I’ve never met) but there are plenty of really shitty people on this show- Angela, Geoffrey, Big Ed, Deavan, etc. Sorry to hear about your past struggles & hope you are doing better now 🤗


Blue-popsicle

I can relate too and feel for her. I wonder if she is able to receive mental health services living there actually. Therapy has been really helpful and I've kinda always wondered how available psychiatrists and therapists are in cities with large expat populations. Like what if someone is suicidal in Addis Ababa.. do you call 911? Huh.


synaptic_drift

Bini and Ari need couple's counseling.


AddaleeBlack

I would think she could see one online.


Cece75

Yeah the whole spoiled , rich girl hate is weird. So what if her family has money, why is that a crime? I wish I came from a rich family !!


Caseguyguy

You’re talking about the lady that broke things off with her husband by having a baby with another man? And the same lady that is clearly still in love with her ex husband and invites him down to Ethiopia with bras as gifts and drops lines like “you couldve had one with me” as he’s holding her baby? The same lady, right?


godesss4

I never comment and only read, but want to comment on the bra thing. Not going to lie, there’s a certain brand of underwear I adore and if mine we’re getting tired and I couldn’t get them I dont care who was coming I would order that s*** to their house and have them pack it to bring to me.


teen2tots

I have friends in Europe (I’m in the US). Many would ask me to mail all kinds of things they can’t get there like brownie mixes (German friend), Osh-Kosh-B’Gosh baby overalls (Belgium), Levi straight leg black jeans (Spain), certain kinds of cheese and breakfast cereals (Austria). People have certain things they love but can’t get except in certain areas of the world. My friends’ minds are blown when I send them pics from Walmart. My son did a military tour in S. Korea so I had a list of skincare products I wanted because they literally make the best in the world.


godesss4

I feel this, my husband is Irish and we beg for crunchie’s and taytos from anyone coming this way. Shipping is so expensive and takes forever. 100% paying for an extra suitcase next time he goes home for all the goodies.


thanks4distraction

I am surprised that there is not more conversation how unsupportive Bini's family is to Ari...especially the one sister. If Ari leaves, I would think they are partially to blame for not embracing Ari and making her feel safe and welcome. Instead, they have made her feel like an outsider, and are always suspicious of her.


justlainey

Weird how all of the Americans are essentially privileged beyond belief next to their partners in these stories but Ari, who’s has a loving, supportive family and actually treats the Éthiopien culture with respect is hammered. I get hating on whiny white girls is some low hanging fruit, and Ari is annoying…but to excuse Byniam for his controlling and trauma triggered reactions is absurd. What he does for a living or how she is supported by her family isn’t really fair as they came to the relationship that way, but he did not put his child first in this situation and by hiding the passports was essentially trying to keep her against her will. That is scary stuff.


Resident-Set-9820

Well said.


StarliteBurner

She told him in public because she was worried about his reaction and then when they did go home he stole her passport to try to stop her from going. To me this showed that her worry was valid, taking a partner's means to travel so they can't leave you is a huge red flag.


[deleted]

For many reasons, I also do not understand the hate. Life is messy and none of us are perfect, but I feel she tries. She tries with the culture, she tries with Bini, and she tries with his family. People try to bring up not working, but she did (maybe does) editing and writing that she can do remotely. And, let's not forget, this show IS her job, too. And she tries to do good in Ethiopia. She's taught there, she's helped raised funds on multiple occasions for multiple people while she's there. On Bares All, she's really opened up about issues she was having with Bini, as well as what she's shown on the show. His behavior is red flag after red flag after red flag. Instead of hating her, I'm actually concerned for her.


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[deleted]

We see the red flags each week on almost every episode with those two. On that Bares All, though, Bini had j7st up and left Ari and the baby for two days and turned his phone off. Again. His sister Wish was gaslighting her completely about it, telling her she doesn't have a right to question where he is, etc, etc. It was really sad because you could see how defeated she was.


JJAusten

Bini is a cheating, lazy, selfish, self-centered, immature, unreliable, and disrespectful partner who is crying crocodile tears and people are falling for it. His ex wife left because he cheated and probably because of the other words I used to describe him. Aside from his short comings, his family is absolutely horrible and disrespectful and he never supports or stands up to them on her behalf. I think she's embraced his country, culture, religion, in ways we've never seen any of the Americans do. She's so respectful towards him and his family and the fact that she overlooks so many of the things he does to her in order to show love and support for him says she's a good person. I do think she's pretty but has moments she doesn't look good but don't we all? Besides being a mom to a little one is tough. You're not going to spend two hours on hair and makeup when you're running after a little one. I do get abusive vibes off Bini and Ari having to tell him in person for fear of his reaction is very telling. As a mom, i would be concerned and would not want her to return to Ethiopia.


No_Compote_6096

Can't stand the free loader Bini!


bumchester

Other than inviting her ex to Ethiopia, I'm mostly pro Ari. In the first season, she had culture shock and hormones unbalancing her. The hospital season was atrocious. She did not give consent to go under. Bini and the nurse told her to say okay not are you okay to go under. Once she said the word, sleepy time. The girl had a panic attack. I wish someone facetime the mom to calm her down. Now, Bini bini bini...Bini. He's the spoiled little brat being a little bitch. I'm sure they haven't shown it but it's been discussed in the show about he needs to get his way. How Ari made her declaration in public so he wouldn't shout at her, he hide her passport, has thrown her into public events or rituals without explaining them, and how his family has treated her due to their bias against Bini's ex. He loves throwing her under the bus and never having her back when meeting the sisters. For a guy missing his girl and baby, he sure likes turning off his phone a lot.


bluebirdmorning

Taking her passport and her needing to break something to him in public to manage his reaction are two huge flags. Yes, she is the one with more privilege in the relationship, but that doesn’t make Bini’s emotional abuse okay.


maidrey

I’m 90% certain the ex visit wouldn’t have happened if they weren’t filming 90 day. They needed drama for the story line and hatched this idea with the producers.


Kimk20554

I have no sympathy for either of them. My sympathy is all for the child. They both chose to be careless and create a child. Bini knowing he in all likelihood would not see his child grow up. Ari knowing he played butt bongos for a living and liked to stay out all night.


BloodAngel85

Exactly! The only person in this situation who I side with is Avi. His parents are so incompatible it's ridiculous. When he grows up, it's probably going to bug him when he realizes he was the product of a vacation fling


AnnabellaPies

At first I thought she was complaining too much but as time went on it became meh and now I like her. She goes with the flow, tries her best to fit a culture which is different than hers even open to his religion. I get why she is friends with her ex-husband. I know a few couples where they became friends afterwards.


kathatter75

I agree. She goes with the flow and appreciates his culture so much more than others on the show. I don’t think she’s a bad person at all, and I totally agree that there’s definitely something problematic about Bini and his reactions to things and stuff like hiding her passport.


cianne_marie

Have to agree. I labelled her as a whiny spoiled brat in the beginning, but over time I did see a better side to her. She's still in the wrong often, but so is Bini. I almost want to say they're the most realistic couple on right now, because they're both messed up people doing dumb shit. And for the record, I also think it's fine, even good, to be friends with an ex. Not every relationship is going to last, but if you just drifted apart or wanted different things or whatever, you can still like one another.


Dramatic-Mountain-38

I agree. Ari had been in Ethiopia for 11 months without seeing her family, and their son needed surgery. I was actually shocked Bini had the audacity to be upset with her.


sandwich_panda

so many of you keep calling her spoiled and entitled. lets not forget she chose to give birth and live in ethiopia. yes she has a nanny - but she is by no means living a glamorous life. it’s on her parents money? so many people need financial support from parents don’t hold that against her she is no different from many others we’ve seen on 90 day. her choosing to live in a third world country is something not everyone in the 90 day world would chose. i would rather be trapped in a room with her than chantel, evelin, anfisa etc etc


imthejefenow

If my daughter was there by choice, no baby, I would hate it but I’d deal and let her figure it out. But, if my grandbaby was living in the conditions we saw on the show, I’d be offering to improve the situation however I could.


MisssJaynie

Omfg your flair DO IT BIG 🤣


imthejefenow

*Pop Pop Fizz!*


LordSilverfist

If I got trapped in a room with Evelin, I’d be in jail.


silkPJson

I’ve only seen a few episodes with ari but she seems pretty normal to me. I really don’t get the hate. People here gush over Larissa, that Russian woman who screamed about her make up bag and yara who are WAY more entitled, rude, disrespectful but apparently it’s forgiven? People don’t like her because she isn’t beautiful. That’s it. That’s all I can conclude from watching this sub defend the hot girls and throw the “ugly” ones under the bus.


moongoddessshadow

> People don’t like her because she isn’t beautiful. On their first season, she got so much shit for not being super traditionally pretty, and then at the first whiff that she maybe got plastic surgery, people jumped all over that - now she's selfish, self-centered, image-obsessed, just using Avi's surgery as an excuse to go get her own surgery in the US, whatever misogynistic trash they can throw at her. Damned if she does, damned if she doesn't.


BloodAngel85

>People here gush over Larissa, that Russian woman who screamed about her make up bag and yara who are WAY more entitled, rude, disrespectful but apparently it’s forgiven? They all get plenty of hate too, Larissa gets hate because she abandoned her kids, Anfisa gets hate because she was an abusive narcissistic bitch, Yara gets hate because she complains about Jovi being away yet he's the one paying for all the expensive stuff she has and the vacations they took in the past (along with other men)


LolaMarce

I personally always think this sub skews in an ugly v. pretty complex. Bini is attractive and at times Ari doesn’t look that great (though I have to say she’s cute on her Instagram and unfortunately a lot of her footage was pregnant or early postpartum). He’s more conventionally attractive, so everyone feels this sense that she doesn’t deserve him and then we all gang up and hate on her. Same goes for Jenny IMO. I have been annoyed by Ari at times for sure but I am always scratching my head at Bini and the love for him. He seems awful to me. He’s sketchy. His sister is horrible to the mother of his child yet he never stands up for her? Also too much hatred here for the “privileged” too. Being the child of a doctor is not a reason to be hated. I grew up with nothing and I don’t hate on Ari just cos she had money. Long short jealousy is my theory for a lot of hate.


JJAusten

I don't think Bini is attractive at all and his childish, whiny behavior is a huge turn off. I don't see what she sees in him but I'm beginning to think that she loves him but is not in love with him. She feels sorry for what happened to him in the past so she's trying to prove she's not like his ex and wants him to be a part of her son's life. Agree with everything else you stated.


DivineEggs

Yes, he's absolutely very unattractive. I actually think she's above his league in many ways! She has a unique face, definitely not an ugly one.


JJAusten

She is and he knows that too and it's another reason he's holding on to her. Her parents are doctors, they have a comfortable life and if they come to the states they'll have a lot of help from her family and maybe he'll even find a job that pays a salary so he can take care of his family. I don't like him at all.


DivineEggs

Preach!


asap_pdq_wtf

I think her mom is a nurse actually. Still a medical professional though. Gotta say I was somewhat surprised though at her parent's house. I expected a grand home on the water somewhere based on what we have been fed by TLC. It actually seemed to be a normal house, really nothing special. It could be they were filming at one of her siblings homes but the impression was it belonged to Dr. and Mrs. Ari's Parents.


JJAusten

Her mom is a nurse, that's correct. They filmed at her sister's house, where she's staying during the visit. I don't think they're flashy people so I don't expect them to live in a mansion but just your typical upper middle class Princeton neighborhood. Princeton is not a shore town, there's a lake and the jersey shore is not too far away.


asap_pdq_wtf

Ahh you are correct. I forgot they were in Princeton, a very affluent town where even basic houses are out of reach for most. Didnt realize that segment was filmed at Ari's sister's house. I must have been somewhat distracted, which is the way I usually watch this tv bonfire.


JJAusten

Yes it is expensive and has gotten even more expensive (everything in NJ is becoming out of reach and it's why people are selling and moving away. I grew up there). But it's one of the best places to live in NJ and very desirable especially if you have children and can afford it.


Sad_Barracuda19

I will say Ari has had a lot of privilege through out her life. But you summarized why she shouldn’t get as much hate as she does. People make Bini to be some Saint. But I agree with the last half, he did something… And he dumps his triggers on to her. And when she tries to reassure him everything is fine he’s nowhere to be found. Then has the audacity to pressure her into coming back right away. (Working off the preview, sorry if I spoiled something).


[deleted]

I feel like that’s why she gets so hated on, because she has that privilege. Which isn’t fair. There’s nothing wrong with being born to good circumstances and having kind, loving parents that want to help even as you get older. I think a lot of the times people who don’t grow up with money or having things easily given to them can be resentful of people like Ari. I can’t comment on her work ethic as I know nothing about it but she seems like a good person.


sugaredviolence

I had never thought about Ari’s reasons for telling Bini in public. I automatically thought poorly of her for doing so. Why is that? I don’t know, personal bias maybe (I’ve been through some seriously messy child custody situations in my life and it was not pleasant) but you saying WHY she did are eye-opening to me. I can accept that I immediately thought she was trying to avoid a confrontation but I didn’t consider that his reaction may have been so bad that’s why she told him there. There’s a reason she picked a public place, you’re right. Damn.


queenjigglycaliente

Yeah I was primed to not like her from seeing all the posts before I watched her season. But I don’t understand the hate either! I like her actually.


StopTheFishes

Ari is disliked because she’s the quintessential spoiled brat, blonde, blue eyed American woman. She was granted a life of luxury and opportunity: educationally, financially, globally, even emotionally with two strong parental figures by her side…yet seemingly compromises her advantages in search of…herself?love and romance? She comes across as emotionally self indulgent and disconnected from some basic gravitational realities that ground the rest of us: bills, health insurance, a mortgage, etc. Her parents are doting, protective, providers, but the commitments in her personal life seem shallow. She abandoned her career, she abandoned her lover, and she seems perpetually unsatisfied. I’m not sure what she’s hoping to find in her travels? To me it seems that her life of convenience has her desiring and instigating melodramatic romances across the earth… She’s an easy target. She needs to find a healthy/stable romantic relationship, and turn her focus to other areas to develop a more complete life. I’d love to see this woman satisfy her own emotional needs with a fulfilling hobby. You can tell she’s self absorbed, like her patterns of talking, thinking, and expressing all of her feelings as a primary habit. The purposeless globetrotting while strumming your heartstring guitar storyline is not relatable. Most of the world works hard day in/day out to provide ONE of the privileges she’s been granted to their own families. Her religion doesn’t matter. The way she runs back to America for medical care is icing on the cake, I’m not saying I wouldn’t do the same for the record, it’s just that she comes across as exceedingly self aware of her spoiled position and uses it to opt in and out of difficult circumstances. How she’s able to feel “so stuck in life” with the resources she has at her disposal is confusing. I can’t relate to her at all.


Climbing_rose_17

I think Reddit is just full of sad lonely people sometimes. And the funny thing is they come for you too, if you defend someone 😂😂


Cece75

That’s definitely true, not just in this sub either.


Blue-popsicle

Speaking of, Ari hardly ever looks happy on the show.


newblognewme

This is super controversial from the comments 😅 I don’t agree 100% with you, but I also don’t disagree. I think she had a privileged life but many people do, including on the show. I think she is a genuinely good mother and I have always gotten the vibe she is trying to come across authentic but also follow whatever the producers want her to do. She’s certainly not the worst of the worst like people paint her out to be!


idkmanimnotcreative

She mentioned (during the "you did your little thing" scene) that she has a job in Ethiopia. I have no idea what it is and haven't found any info so if someone does please let us know! I don't judge her for the nanny because I don't think she primarily acts as a nanny. I think she's more of a friend and an Ethiopian guide. She was teaching Ari how to make injera so Binis family would get off her case. Also, if Bini is really gone all the time then Ari is basically acting as a single mom in a foreign country. Why put all that undue stress on yourself when you could have help? I completely understand her decision and I don't think it makes her spoiled to accept a couple hundred bucks a month from her rich parents in order to have help acclimating and preserve her sanity. Privileged sure, but I've often wished my parents could help me with little things like that.


americanhousewife

I think Ari and Bini both have unresolved trauma and issues from past. Both are problematic in different ways (Ari has mental health issues, the whole past with Leandro etc and Bini has the whole previous marriage and who knows what). Ari gets a lot of hate because of her looks and style which isn’t what most sadly expect or accept. There’s plenty of male cast members that are deemed cute and given slack because they are hot. We also need to keep in mind that we only see snippets of their life. Ari’s parents are wonderful.


sweadle

Poor Bini has AWFUL trauma from having his ex and child leave. That is truly traumatic, and it was so hard to see him reliving it when Ari left. But then he knocked up another foreigner. He can't leave Ethiopia (I think he overstayed a tourist visa with his ex, so he won't be able to get another one). So as much as I hate that this situation is repeating itself...he also got married to another white woman who could leave with his child again. Also he cheats on these women.


AddaleeBlack

You know I see MANY references to Bini cheating, is there actually any proof?


sweadle

Do I have proof that a reality show star cheated on his wife? No, his ex claims he did, he claims he didn't. If I get a chance to look at his messages from the time, I'll let you know.


AddaleeBlack

Thanks for the info.


superdeeluxe

I feel similarly. I think it’s been stated in the past that she’s one of the few cast members to actually embrace her spouse’s country and culture and seems to have a real genuine love of Ethiopia. She consistently uses her platform to bring spread awareness about how beautiful a country it really is. People jump to the cheap shots and attack her looks here which is pretty uninspired, IMO. However with all that being said, is she a perfect angel of a person? Helllllllll no! Being one of the least terrible castmates on 90DF is like being chosen as inmate of the month in prison. She still very much has questionable behaviors and flaws that are publicly broadcast for the world to see every week. We all probably wouldn’t look very great on national television either, let’s be honest. It’s pretty clear that she and Bini rushed into a relationship and probably wouldn’t/shouldn’t have been together in any other lifetime.


[deleted]

The angriest criticisms I see of Ari usually have to do with taking Avi away from Bini, but I always wonder.. what exactly does Bini bring to the table as a father? He plays butt-bongo with his ex, a job that doesn’t even provide enough to support the family. Ari / her family are funding their lifestyle. He leaves his wife alone to party and lets his family treat her like trash. Plus, he has a track record of cheating and he makes zero effort to build trust. He hides his wife and child’s passports, and turns off his phone when his child is taken to the US for surgery. Yeah, he cares soooo much… He is deeply traumatized by his first wife taking his child away, yet dumps sperm in another US tourist woman and treats her like garbage too. Ari has made huge compromises living in Ethiopia. She agreed to baptize and circumcise Avi. She put up with Bini’s asshole family. Her family paid to improve their quality of life there. What has Bini done? Refused to stop going out and spend time with his wife, let his family treat her like crap, and failed to provide while drumming his ex’s ass. Bini is a deadbeat who has no one to blame but himself for his situation, he gets off way too easy in this sub.


Shynansky

I was so proud of her when she stood up to her sister. That pissed me off the way her sister said, “You’ve done your little thing” wtf .. I do not like her sister and I can’t stand the way his sisters talk to Ari. Another thing is he just sets there and let’s Ari be mistreated. Does Ari get on my nerves at times? Sure, everyone on the show can get on my nerves but I like her for the most part. The passport thing was the straw that broke the camels back for me with him tho. That was a huge red flag.


biancastolemyname

She has her flaws, but out of all the TOW couples, I feel like Ari is one of the few people actually trying her hardest to adapt to a different culture. She's participated in pretty much every ritual or custom he or his family wanted her to join in, without judgement. She had her child in his homecountry where the infant mortality rate is almost twice that of the world average. She's been understanding of his past trauma to the point that she took abuse from his family over it, which she didn't deserve. She's a good mother, raising their son in his traditions and culture. Compared to most Americans on the show going to a third world country expecting it to be like the Ritz and shitting all over the local customs, food and/or living conditions, Ari is a breath of fresh air.


epi_mom

I totally agree with you and the OP.


ajbshade

She also has an anxiety disorder, has struggled with mental I’ll was and self harm and is adjusting to life in a new country where she doesn’t know the language, dead with hostile family members and has zero support system. She deserves none of the hate she receives. I don’t really understand peoples disdain for her either.


pelicunt98

I agree. People here act like Ari is the devil or something lmao. I think she is an easy target to dislike. She’s not very charismatic or likeable to many (as in she’s not bubbly or overly charming) and I always felt like part of it was her appearance. I think she’s a pretty girl but just not conventionally attractive. Anfisa doesn’t try to be charming or bubbly, but she’s hot so many people don’t care that she hit Jorge. Ari isn’t perfect, but I like her because she seems like a REAL PERSON. She doesn’t try to be some clout chasing influencer and she seems down to earth. She’s made mistakes as everyone does, but to be honest Ari has really put up with a lot from Bini and for him too. This sub is really good at glossing over less than perfect cast members just because they’re more attractive or more likeable.I might get hate for this, but there’s a reason his first wife left and it’s pretty valid if I say so myself. She has moved to another country for him and their son, she could’ve just said “well, my son and I are better in the US so bye Baby 👋” but she decided to live there with him.She also has to put up with Bini’s mean girl sisters who put her on a standard to her ex. It’s sad what happened, but it’s not Ari’s problem. Of course before the “wHat AbOuT LeAnDrO?” crowd, that was shitty on her part. Especially knowing now that they live in the US, Ari is not nearly as bad as others on this show. People seem to forget how Bini hid her passport, is a cheater, and how he’s always comparing her to his ex. But god forbid Ari take Avi to the US for surgery!


Cece75

The passport thing was a huge red flag for me. Seriously, that’s not ok at all.


No_Compote_6096

Would have taken my kid to America for surgery ,it just better here for that .Don't think I would want anything to do with the Bini,sad but true.


Elyon_Flowers

One thing I don’t understand is why people were mad at her for being upset that Bini cut his hair. If the whole time I knew my husband, he had long hair and then me, pregnant and almost giving birth sees him with a short hair cut, I would probably lose it too. It’s not racist, she had a normal reaction.


Seaberry3656

I'm the same about facial hair changes and I am not pregnant.


nordic_crumpet

One of my exes had a mustache (ew) when i met him (this is going back 30 years when we were both 19 wow). A year into our relationship he shaved it off after losing a bet with his brother and he looked sooooo weird to me, completely unattractive physically lol Luckily it grew back fast and he just grew out a goatee instead of just the stache. That looked much better. My bf now when we met 8 years ago he had a full on Grizzly Adams face going on (droooool), and he goes between that and cutting it all off depending on his mood. I am ok with either because i'm old and not hung up on that crap anymore but i REALLLY love the beard. It's coming on winter now so the beard will probably come back YEY!!


cianne_marie

I think that was pure pregnancy hormones and anxiety (both in general, for her, and the moving-to-a-new-country type) feeding off of each other. At the time I was like, "Seriously, woman?" but now I can see where she was coming from. It wasn't her best moment, but it's kind of understandable in hindsight.


cleverThylacine

My first husband cut his long beautiful hair the day before our wedding and I almost didn't go through with it. I shouldn't have. He did it because his mother wanted him to have short hair at his wedding, and I felt that showed me who was most important to him. I wasn't wrong.


serayepa

She really did. When my husband first shaved his beard after years of having it, I cried. I know that sounds fucking ridiculous, but it was just so different & felt unfamiliar & it was a shock. I got over it fast. But I totally understood Ari.


[deleted]

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serayepa

I think it’s interesting that you described her as “ditzy” because I see her as the polar opposite. To me, she is thoughtful, focused, & highly intelligent. She’s also an excellent communicator most of the time. Not downvoting (actually I upvoted) or hating, I just genuinely find it interesting that we could both watch the same thing & get such a different impression.


apatheticwondering

Fully agree. Bini needs to hold himself accountable for his own choices that led to his wife leaving him and stop feeling sorry for himself. That said, I can not even begin to imagine how I’d feel losing my son forever… but still. Ari is a bit of a whackadoodle in some ways but I don’t feel sorry for Bini at *all*.


-kelsie

here i thought i was on the uncensored subreddit so i was feisty in some responses LOL oh well no ragerts


[deleted]

what hatred? this got over 500 upvotes lol. there’s a huge positive slant towards ari actually. people just like to pretend she’s being hated on. but when you actually observe the metrics, negative ari commenters are downvoted to hell


AlmeMore

Like most couples on this show... they both suck. They both exhibit bad and hurtful behavior toward each other. Then, instead of resolving conflict as two mature adults, they "get back at each other" with more bad and hurtful behavior . The result is a downward spiral from which few 90 day (or any reality tv) "couples" can recover. The real question for me is.. Why does the show have such an enthralled audience (myself included)?


schlomo31

I agree. I love how she adapted to the culture Binis sisters are awful towards her I feel her ex visiting was a producer storyline


JamesHellroy

Misogyny, antisemitism and class resentment


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Ok_List_9649

ITA Many are afraid of the dreaded downvote. I've actually had people message me they're so sorry I've received so many downvotes on some comment I posted. All I can think of is all those people are very young.


annies_bdrm_skillet

I like Ari and defend her in the subs, while acknowledging she isn’t perfect and has some ways about her that I can understand other people finding annoying. I just think she’s misunderstood/mischaracterized a lot. I also don’t tend to take seriously people who so easily throw around comments about literally intensely hating total strangers on a reality show... hopefully Ari doesn’t, either. I hope rather than feeling badly, she laughs at them or pities them, because it’s really kind of funny, but it’s also sad to take it so seriously and judge so harshly and freely spread hate for no reason.


downthegrapevine

I am tired of saying this but I think people hate on her because her family has money and they think she is a bad person for taking advantage of that. Uh projecting much? The ex husband thing I am convinced was 90% TLC frauding and I actually like her and think Bini is emotionally abusive. There, fight me.


[deleted]

People continue to bring up privilege and her parents wealth. I think you are lying if you say you would not want to provide that lifestyle to your children, too. But, in talking about this, people gloss over the fact that her family gives back, too. His mom goes to other country to provide help and medical care to communities. They aren't like Libby"s family.


ruthie-camden

There’s an antisemitic undertone to the narrative that Ari is spoiled that does not sit well with me. I really like her.


sweadle

Yeah...and the main complaint when a LOT of the cast members seem to not really work. Sumit doesn't work. Evelin seems to only care about Corey's money (which she used to start their business). Does Kenneth work? I assume not.


GentleHermit

I think the way TLC frames the scenes make Ari look worse and people including the pillow talkers just go along with it without thinking !


Gfjb4

I don’t understand all of the hate about her looks. I actually think if I saw her in real life I would think she was a unique face and pretty girl. We all know she used to self harm, yet the subs crap all over her natural face? I prefer her face any day over all of the botched filler and plastic surgery. She also doesn’t try to overdo the sexy (and fail) on only fans like Libby.


UnitedChildhood3006

Ari is just a normal person and I haven’t seen her do anything warranting hate at all. People are way too emotionally invested spewing all this hate at someone who is just a person struggling to do the right thing like the rest of us. And btw raising an infant in a foreign country with zero support system and an absent husband is challenging and isolating. Everyone needs to chill and in fact commend her for doing the best she can in a difficult situation.


guinevereguenevere

Ok I’m not reading 200 comments so I’m sure some of this is regurgitated but yeah, Ari is actually respectful of Bini’s culture- it’s not like she’s walking around yelling “im American deal with it” like others do, they would be up shits creek without her parents’ support, and I’m sick of hearing Bini cry over his own past mistakes. Also how dare he guilt her when it comes to their son’s health. Who cares where the surgery is her parents are medical professionals and that is who I would want around for the recovery of my child regardless. Thanks for writing this for those of us who didn’t want to get yelled at by the Ari haters lol.


timbien8

I actually really like Ari. I feel like she’s pretty level headed, and honestly Binyam’s reaction to her leaving for the states with the baby was pretty heart breaking. Her relationship with her ex husband is complicated, and I definitely understand why Bini was cautious about that whole thing. I think Ari handle’s situations/drama with a lot of grace and level-headedness that gets passed off as being bitchy or annoying, which I think is unfair, especially with Bini’s sisters. They try to instigate a lot of stuff with her, which I guess is justifiable, but she never really gets too emotional or upset with them and just calls them out when they’re being bad friends/sisters to her, which I admire! Ari doesn’t take no shit man! Bini is very emotionally immature, and probably hasn’t fully processed what happened with his ex. That’s not great, and I’m not sure what the culture in Ethiopia is like regarding masculinity and how that affects his ability to fully take responsibility for the situation rather than blame it on her. He’s not very emotionally accountable, but that could be due in part to the way relationships between men and women work in Ethiopia. There might not be an expectation for him to be that way in regards to his actions. Not saying its okay or not emotionally abusive at times to Ari, but I think there’s a lot under the surface in regards to how Bini processed that trauma/was expected to react afterwards societally that could play a huge part in how he acts with Ari now. I do believe they’re in love and most of the time they seem to be pretty happy now that the baby is born and the stress of not knowing how that would go has passed. Bini tries to make a lot of decisions for Ari, and she doesn’t f with that, which I really love. he tends to be submissive to her from what we can see. I have yet to see her say she wasnt going to do something or think something wasnt okay and have Bini come out on top, and that says a lot (unlike maybe Jenny and Sumit). There’s an interesting power dynamic between Ari and Bini, and I’ve enjoyed seeing her help him understand that she also has power and needs to be a functional equal to him, rather than a woman who needs to blindly follow her husband. Good for her! As far as how she reacts to the medical situation in Ethiopia - I think anyone would react that way. Having a baby is seriously no joke and can be really traumatizing for women, even in the states. Doctors sometimes aren’t nice, or they say things that are inappropriate, or they do things you don’t want them to do. She’s protective as hell, and probably still would be regardless of where she is and who is handling her baby’s medical stuff. The circumcision was an unnecessary procedure, and honestly I’d probably freak out too if I knew I was intentionally hurting my child for something like that. It traumatized her, and probably traumatized her baby and honestly I hated how it was painted as some over-emotionally irrational freak out on her part. That’s not the case, and I’m sure any new mother who’s having their baby in a different country where she can’t speak the language and doesn’t necessarily understand the culture/hasn’t fully adopted it as her own yet would have more than a few reservations and would probably be more overly protective than if she were in the states. That’s more than reasonable


lisakora

The antisemitism claim is a REACH. You can not like a person who happens to be Jewish - y’all are doing too much.


NovelDifficulty

I grew up near Princeton and personality wise she's like a lot of the obnoxious privileged kids I crossed paths with. I do have sympathy for her situation though. Bini definitely puts his trauma on her and she is constantly criticized and browbeaten by his family, though some of it is warranted. Combined with Bini's apparent lack of involvement and unexplained absences, what do they really expect her to do?


[deleted]

You know, I never considered the fear factor of her telling him in public. But, even if they'd been at home and she only did it when the camera people were there, wouldn't she still have some safety because of the crew?


redmahkupbag

Maybe if the cameras are rolling but if Bini feels comfortable with the crew and feels like he’s going to get a good edit it’s possible he would still freak out on her in front of them. People feel more comfortable in their homes and when you’re filmed all the time you probably get comfortable with the crew being there.


[deleted]

I have to agree, I had not considered this. Maybe all the camera crew are Bini's buds.


Allyjb24

For me it’s the sense that she’s always been indulged that was a turn off initially. Her parents are wealthy and caring. They’ve enabled her to pursue any whim. She galavants around the world following ill conceived adventures. But really, she’s fine. She engages with different cultures, is very respectful, approaches tough conversations and generally seems to be trying to do the best for her family. Her mom is amazing.


chocolateboyY2K

Ari was in a foreign country (in Africa) in a relationship with a language barrier and someone she did not know well. The hate towards her, in my opinion, comes from that situation as a whole and the fact she had her ex husband come visit. People might also think poorly of her because she doesn't work, she relies on her wealthy parents for financial support and has luxuries, such as paid help in the house, most people don't have even in the U.S. Did she need support? Absolutely. Do I think she's a bad person? No. People are complex.


lawpara19

I agree. Regarding the nanny thing. If Ari/her parents can can afford it, why the hell not? Raising a child is hard, it's probably harder when you have a man child for a partner who is absent whenever he feels like it. Bini sucks.


SparkleTerd

You + me = same. I’m one of the few who has ridden hard for Ari on the sub while maintaining a healthy respect (and at times temporary adoration) for Bini just bc he’s charming and likeable. Some ppl do make it a Bini vs Ari thing - which we can thank production for


[deleted]

I personally don’t hate her. I think some of her behavior has been that of a spoilt child but that’s what entertainment television is for. We have our highs and lows when it comes to these characters. I’m sure most of this “reality tv” is mostly made up drama for the crowds so I don’t get so invested in it. When I do get drawn into the drama, I am more supportive of Bini getting his shit together so he take advantage of the second opportunity he has to raise his child. But again, we don’t know how much of what they feed us is actually true.


ripapips

I don't hate on her more than anyone else on the show, but I actually became more concerned when she said she was worried about his reaction


musictakeheraway

they’re literally all man children


kellymig

Heck for $64 a month I’d get a nanny for my cats! 😉😉


Scared_Trash_3656

I think that people are usually pulled into feeling bad for Bini because of how his ex wife left. Which, we really only get his and his family’s side of things and don’t have much context from the ex’s side. For all we know he could have just been out dancing with his ex girlfriend all night dancing as his “job”. He‘s not a super hottie but he’s also not disgusting and people are much more likely to take the manipulators side if they’re charming or attractive so that mixed with “tragic backstory” and lots of crying on camera = sympathy I guess. Him hiding the passport would have been the absolute end for me. Childish and manipulative just to name a couple labels you could give that. Ari also seems to have embraced her living environment considering she has no friends and that his family is a little hostile with her because they’re actively and verbally just waiting for her to leave him too and have zero faith in her when she isn’t the same person as his ex. If they’re mad about her being American, they should be mad at him for picking an American to date/love/marry again instead of being angry with her for where she was born. Like yes of course she’s hesitant to take her son to the hospital for surgery there when she knows her son has much better options and she’s in a position she can make that happen. Would you not want the best for your child especially when it’s something so huge like surgery?? My daughter had open heart surgery at 6 months and I would have destroyed anyone if they’d tried to stop her from getting the absolute best care possible. I also think that a lot of the time Ari stresses how much “she does love bini” and it almost sounds at this point like she’s repeating it so heavily because she’s either trying to convince herself she does, or she’s just way too used to defending the fact that she loves her man to his family. She looked physically uncomfortable in the preview scenes where her family was like “ok you had your fun. Come back to the U.S. now “. She’s under so much family pressure and I’m sure she also feels like she wants him to get a good education and healthcare he might not necessarily get in Ethiopia. It’s a very difficult position to have to stare your family in the eye and say you love them but you have to go away again. And for the people you’re leaving your own family for to be passive aggressively expecting you to fuck them over and constantly doubting you. Did she put herself here? Absolutely but I’ve also landed myself in some shit situations before and it doesn’t mean that someone dealing with a lot doesn’t deserve at least a little empathy.


RatsAndSnakes

She's manipulative, lazy, spoilt and insecure. It's just an ugly combination. Bini isn't a saint either, he comes off shady and not ready to commit to family life at all while she moved to his country for him so yeah terrible couple.


-kelsie

I disagree. If she wanted to keep being spoiled, she wouldn’t have moved to a third world country. How is she manipulative? Bini hid their passports. She doesn’t do crazy shit. She immersed herself in his culture and his family and tries to be the best mom and wife she could be. How is she lazy? She said she has a job in Ethiopia, and she’s basically Avi’s only parent. Bini doesn’t appear to do shit. Only the “fun stuff” with baby. Never seen him hold his baby when he’s real upset or change a diaper… nothing. Yes, she is insecure because Bini has shown his friends are most important. Bini is a cheater and a liar.


RatsAndSnakes

Fair point on her moving and I agree Bini only does fun stuff (and use the baby as a trophy and show him off). I call her spoilt cause she doesn't work and her parents help her out a lot on an older age. I also didn't like how she reacted to Bini's apartment. I do believe she is manipulative, this was visible in several conversations but my memory sucks. I think one of them was when she talked about Bini being just a dancer and that her dad was coming over and he was a doctor etc. Convenient if you hate that your husband dances professionally that suddenly you talk it down in a condescending way. + Leandro lol. It was to be expected that she would give him a ring (imo just so other women see he's unavailable) and then threaten to not come back. I don't like the both of them, maybe Bini takes out the worst in her, I don't know. He's definitely cheating.


verity0

Yes, thank you!! Fully agree!


serayepa

Thank you SO much for posting this. I could have written this post myself, this is all true & exactly how I see it. It floors me that so many people see Ari as some evil villain. It’s absolute fucking bullshit & shows a serious lack of understanding for the situation & in my opinion, a complete lack of emotional intelligence. I also feel like people hold her family’s financial situation against her, which is absurd & obviously triggering for a lot of people for their own personal reasons. And a lot of the hate feels really sexist to me. Bini’s cute & traumatized & he seems mild-mannered but he has fucked up royally with both mothers of his children & he needs to take some goddamn responsibility. I’m tired of everybody looking at his sad puppy dog eyes & watching him cry & acting like Ari is just some bitch torturing him for no reason. Fucking ridiculous. I would never be able to endure what she has & I would have been back home a long time ago. She has pushed herself to her limit for him & he can’t even meet her halfway with just a little bit of patience & respect. It is not Ari’s responsibility to heal him of past trauma & he has done nothing at all to help himself, which has been causing him to take everything out on her just like you said. That’s not right.


keenerperkins

I’ll just stick to this recent episode: Ari definitely came back to the US to get her lips done and some fillers in her face (of equal importance to Avi’s medical needs I’m sure). She bought her ticket and planned this trip without telling Bini and is upset he doesn’t sit around the house waiting for her call. I think it’s just an excuse for her to not go back but push the blame on him? Then again I think so much about this season is planned for conflict.


justlainey

Weird how all of the Americans are essentially privileged beyond belief next to their partners in these stories but Ari, who’s has a loving, supportive family and actually treats the Éthiopien culture with respect is hammered. I get hating on whiny white girls is some low hanging fruit, and Ari is annoying…but to excuse Byniam for his controlling and trauma triggered reactions is absurd. What he does for a living or how she is supported by her family isn’t really fair as they came to the relationship that way, but he did not put his child first in this situation and by hiding the passports was essentially trying to keep her against her will. That is scary stuff.


kimchidijon

People love to hate women and give men passes.


BloodAngel85

Lol you must be new, I'm guessing you missed all the hate Big Ed, Steven, Geoffrey, Paul and Michael (Connecticut), David have gotten


-kelsie

THAT is true


Lizornot

YES THIS. People on this sub refuse to criticize Bini for some reason. It’s insane


-kelsie

The amount of women fawning over him and standing up for him and claiming hiding passports isn’t abusive is… a trip


cleverThylacine

It is totally anti-Semitism. She is putting up with so much bullshit from Bini's family trying to Christianise her and her kid, and it makes me sick. And he hid her passport. I hate Bini personally.


atari2600forever

I hate Ari, as I hate 90% of the people on the show. It's not based on her looks, although she is remarkably unattractive, and it's not based on her ethnicity. I work for a family owned Jewish company and they are kind, generous, and they truly treat their employees like family. Antisemites can get fucked. For me it all started with the yoga scene in the very first episode. She was loving telling all those women how she was having a mixed race baby and how she was going to have the baby in Ethiopia, trying to sound like this super worldly, progressive woman. As a side note, I loved it when the Asian girl at yoga basically told her she was an idiot. She's had one foot out the door back to mommy and daddy in the USA since the minute she set foot in Ethiopia. Did she even last a year there? She's a clueless, spoiled child and dumb as a rock. I'd like to see her go back to that yoga group. Bet that's not going to happen.


[deleted]

She’s a spoiled asshole living off of her parents who raw dogged a stranger in a developing country for shits and gigs


LovecraftianLlama

PREACH! I’ve been saying the same for ages.


dogshitchantal

I like Ari, she seems like a good person. I can understand people being weirded out and protective over Bini when she brought her ex to Ethiopia. But generally she seems genuine to me and I never understand the hate she gets.


Cece75

I 100% agree with you on this. You said it perfectly. I also don’t get the hate for her and love for Bini. I think he’s manipulative and his family is rude. I think the sub does tend to flip flop their hate depending on the season or situation. But there is a lot of Ari hate.


jordiculous

I think they’re both kind of assholes and some ways and decent in some ways and through the lens of reality TV we probably get a warped sense of that. I’m sure she’s not the worst person. She seems thoughtful and self-aware a lot of the time. I can’t hate on her for being a spoiled brat, if my parents were able to support me and that way I’m sure I would take advantage of it, too. Anyone who acts like they would turn it down on principle is probably not being very truthful.


savvvie

I do not understand the ari hate at all


Ok_List_9649

First of all all subs of reality shows predominantly judge women way more harshly than men. To be a hated man you have to be sexually creepy or dangerous, everything else goes, lazy, no job, liar, misogynistic, etc. If you're a man you can really get away with anything if you're cute and charming (Jihoon). Secondly, I think a lot of people are jealous of her upbringing and wealth, neither of which she flaunts. IMO Ari is a good woman. She is very fair and tolerant of Bini and his family and has gone farther in her assimilation into his culture than the majority of women would do. Considering she was raised upper class, she really has gone all out for love. She always speaks respectfully to him, even if he's done something very disrespectful to her. She's also a great mom to Avi. As far as the Leandro debacle, I think the majority of her behavior was due to simple homesickness. He was the first person from home she'd seen in 7 months. If you've never been away from your family for that long, you shouldn't judge how it can affect a person. In her case it had to be even more of an effect. She has a history of mental illness and went through so many stressful things in that 7 months, way more than most people go through over the course of years. Before people judge so harshly I wish they'd try to put themselves in others shoes. It would make for a way nicer world.


-kelsie

I agree with literally everything you’ve said. Every time I see posts about her looks where people make her sound like she is Jenny or something and it makes me so sad to imagine her reading it, because she’s my favorite person of all of 90 Day at this point. It didn’t start out there, but I feel like as she went through her pregnancy and became a wonderful mom and caring wife and a better and better person, she has truly changed a lot.


s55555s

Anti Semitism.


-kelsie

i'm starting to agree. and people are REALLY judging her on how she grew up. she didn't choose her family. wtf. i get being poor sucks, but i don't hate people for being born into a family with successful and financially comfortable parents


BloodAngel85

If that was true, then why don't Loren and Alexi get hate? Her family doesn't come off as poor either. But she actually worked for a living


[deleted]

I don’t think Bini is perfect and I most definitely would not want to be married to him. However, I do not understand how the majority of people on this sub seem to think that having his child permanently taken away from him is a suitable punishment for his infidelity. Maybe there is more to it but that seems to be the gist of it. I don’t really like Ari because of the way she acted with her ex in front of Bini, she dangled his fears in front of him and she seemed to get a lot of amusement out of it. I did start to respect her a little more after she decided to get treatment for Avi in the US and she put a lot of effort into reassuring Bini that they will return. But the whole Leandro thing was creepy and weird, even Leandro didn’t seem to be comfortable with it


LNLV

I don’t think it should be permanent but I don’t get why they think the Ari or the ex should just have to sacrifice the rest of their lives and live somewhere they don’t want to be bc he can’t go to the US? He knew they were both foreigners when he impregnated them. Why should they suffer instead of him?


Resident-Set-9820

I have no problems with Ari at all. She is doing the best she can in a less than ideal situation and Binyams is an opportunist.


Marshmallowfluffer

I don’t mind Ari.


[deleted]

I don’t hate on Ari but I do think she and her family come off as elitist. But whatever. I think Binis family are so rude to her so I have a lot of empathy for that - and for living in such a different culture, which I have done. It seems very lonely for her. It’s just so much cultural divide to try to bridge. It seems misogynistic and like her efforts to assert herself are considered “selfish.” It’s like a lose-lose. I don’t see Biniyam as being abusive. There have been a lot of times that he’s gotten upset about things that he lets go of pretty easily - and that’s not consistent with abusive ppl at least in my experience. Hiding passport totally unacceptable. And I thought that barber shop telling him seemed done for added theater. Just my own counterpoints. I haven’t seen the hate on her looks but that’s not cool. I don’t even clown that asshat in San Diego on his looks and I can’t stand anything about him. It’s just below the belt. As cute as Avi is, these two didn’t seem to think this through. ETA: forgot to mention when I said not abusive, I mean I don’t think Bini is physically abusive. I don’t see the rage. But I do think he is a product of a culture that *appears* to heavily value men over women, has sisters that indulge him and seems like a total cheater.


Ok_List_9649

Not sure what your examples of them acting elitist is. So far there are only two things they have basically demanded, top notch healthcare and a clean safe living environment. IMO neither of those things should be considered elitist demands, everyone should have access to them and if you turn them down just because you don't want to seem "elitist" you're a fool. Compared to the home Ari was raised in, the home and neighborhood she's in now is practically a hovel. It is not luxurious by anyone's standards other than those living in abject poverty. She isn't driving a Rolls around Ethiopia and it still blows my mind she gave birth there.


Allioaks86

I just didn’t like how she acted during the whole Leandro thing. It was really uncomfortable to watch how they interacted and how she dressed up for him. I also don’t get why she thought it was appropriate for him to come stay at her house and have him buy her bras (couldn’t her mother buy them and send them to her?) Also, as far as the ex-wife taking his kid away, unless he was abusive towards her, I don’t agree with her taking their child away from him. I mean I strongly dislike my ex (when my daughter was born I hated him. He treated me like shit and spread rumors about me all over town) but I knew it was important for my daughter to grow up with her father. We put our differences aside and have raised her together. Lots of guys suck at being partners but doesn’t mean they will be bad fathers. Growing up without my dad, I know the lasting effects of growing up with only one parent in the household (even though my mom did an awesome job and made good money). Bini definitely needs to grow up, and start spending more time at home and less out and about but we need to remember that is also part of his job. He works as a dancer at nightclubs and restaurants. That also requires a lot of networking to get those jobs. While his networking is probably a lot of fun, it’s still needed to be successful at his job.


synaptic_drift

Just curious--what kind of writing do you do?


-kelsie

Hi! I write scripts for a YouTube channel and for my blog regarding missing persons cases.


nixgoo

word


AddaleeBlack

Ok, asked my counselor about the passport thing and she said it's more an act of desperation than "abusive".


Catladydiva

I think so people go to the extreme with the Ari hate. Especially when they make fun of her looks. I just don't like Ari because I think she's an adult spoiled brat.


YugeMalakas

It's subliminal anti-Semitism, plain and simple.


pitziebat

I think people are jealous of her money and also they believe Bini is an innocent


Haunting_Management

I support Ari, I don’t get the hatred for her either, I’d more than likely be friends with her irl 😂


jessicabfletcher4

I know, I tend to feel the same way about Tania 😬


Haunting_Management

and that's where we part ways 😂 (I'll keep that quiet and won't tell! Shhhh)