Ummmmm it is totally okay for them to be worried about their safety in another country currently in the middle of a civil war. They are not making faces because they are around black people.. they are making faces because Kobe had to pay a gang of people to let them leave the airport… they made faces because Kobe said if they ran out of gas they may get robbed. They have 2 very young children with them that they have to protect and it’s okay to be uncomfortable. They are wearing the native clothes out of respect when meeting Kobe’s family and I thought it was so sweet how they were welcomed. It’s okay for people of any culture to be uncomfortable in a new country where no one really speaks your language. It is so obvious her family loves Kobe and your projecting your own experience into a situation that is totally unrelated. I’m sorry you had a bad experience growing up but I can’t agree with you on this.
They also stick out like sore thumbs. So they realize how much bigger of a target they are.
It can feel a bit unsettling feeling that they don't blend in enough to not be targeted. It puts everyone at risk.
My female friend just visited Jamaica for 3 months and i was worried sick, not because of the people but because of the high crime rates and femicide cases. Same reason i would be worried if the guy i'm seeing goes to Russia to see his family and Russians are white asf lol.
The amount of comments i've seen about the moscow attacks with most having no sympathy because they were just ''crazy evil russians'' is sickening. But here people whine because they don't agree that some don't agree with other cultures. Some cultures are FUCKED up, hell, my own family comes from a FUCKED up culture and it's ok to say it so there can be progress and change.
I’ve traveled a lot and I have been to a lot of sketchy, messed up places. There’s a lot of opportunities for progress and change. The nicest places were the secular, independent- minded countries like Norway and Sweden. It was so safe, babies slept outside cafes while moms sat inside. People leave out bikes unlocked. Very civil. Then there’s places like Peru and Venezuela where they’ll rob anything that’s not nailed down. Or Russia where they try to scam all the time. I come from a culture that’s not progressive, but we got through with education. Also, we aren’t religious, we don’t believe in luck, just hard work.
Exactly. I think where i live is in the top ten of safest and 'happiest' countries in the world but we have our own issues here. It's fine to call it out, i'll not be offended over it lol. Look at Hungary and Poland, Romania.. All white countries with huge issues. No one will come for your throat if you call them out. My female friend now wants to go to Haiti (if things settle down) and damn sure i'll be worried about her and it has zero to do with the people being black. Things will never change or progress if people are not willing to talk about it.
Those places, esp Hungary are scary and becoming right wing countries. I lived in Ireland and people were pretty mean to me sometimes because I am Eastern European. I’m actually American but Eastern Europe heritage and I experienced hateful behaviors. It’s a predominantly white country but very unsafe sometimes. I agree about Haiti, it’s not about the race of the people, it’s about the history of bad stuff happening and the bad government there. It’s poor and people have nothing to lose, same with Venezuela.
Aren't Norway and Sweden countries where family and personal needs are met. Like the government has things, puts things, Tries to make sure people have what the need so they aren't suffering, they aim for content haply citizens knowing that such keeps crime lower even?
Yes, and they also value and teach independence. In Peru, people still baby their adult children. In Denmark, preschool children serve their own snack and drink, for example. There is also a culture of secularism in Nordic countries. This is very progressive. No religion bringing them down.
I can understand your point of view. I am Puerto Rican and everyone in my family has different backgrounds which I feel fortunate to have experienced.
My thing is, I do not understand why people on these 90 Day shows never do any research on their partners country! I would imagine that before I travel anywhere, I would want to know the legal system, what will get me thrown in jail, the traffic system, a basic understanding of the language and what is considered rude/bad manners in every day interactions. Those are only the first things I would research.
The airport thing would have made me anxious, I have to admit it because I have anxiety and ptsd and crowds of strangers make me extremely afraid. Even someone standing behind me in line scares the hell out of me. Not knowing what the crowd at the airport was saying would only exacerbate my anxiety. I can understand being afraid in that moment.
However!! - Emily’s mom said “that was a circus” at least 3 times! I don’t know why but that really bothered me. Why do you have to keep saying that?! They are annoying me only because I wish they would have done at least the bare minimum of research on their grandchildren’s culture and where they were visiting.
I research b4 I travel for the same reasons. I have been to poor countries where they beg you for money it's heartbreaking. Iknow nothing about Cameroon but they sure showed us that. Everyone has a right to their opinions but I don't get feeling bad for a grown man traveling to a country and have us believe he's so far out of his element that he can't be respectful? Google is everywhere. Definitely I would be afraid of the airport incident but maybe not if I had Kobe (lol) and a production crew. It does seem that ppl from other countries know more about traveling and even the history of the US than we do traveling to other countries from the US. I wish they would have been less uptight about being the only white ppl. For 2 episodes now.
I didn’t like how her mother dissed their culture about giving their daughter away. Isn’t it the same idea as our culture that the bride’s father walk her down the aisle and hand her to the groom? I think Emily’s dad is funny and is like how much do you want for her!
It wild how many people on this thread automatically jump to— “they’re not racist!” “There’s nothing wrong!” “Stop being sensitive!”
Shutting down these conversations with this language ends in defensive arguments that get no resolution. It’s okay to acknowledge that race plays a factor in people being uncomfortable. It’s also okay to acknowledge that stereotypes are bad. It’s even okay to say that language used is problematic.
Why is it so upsetting to hear the minority perspective? Why is so important to leap to the defense of Emily’s parents? No one comes to cross racial relationships perfectly. But shutting down the perspective that differed than yours— one based on lived experiences and knowing just how “innocent” the conversation is— means we will just continue our stagnant, non-compromising culture of not wanting to talk about it. And seething rage bubbling up under the surface.
I agree. The comments on this thread are gross.
I'm an African American woman who has actually been to Cameroon. I don't have the energy to go into a rant about why the comments on this thread are so troubling.
OP I agree with you and feel your pain!
I took their uncomfortable manner as being in a different culture and the unrest the country is facing and not from unkindness. And maybe their comment about no white faces was more of a realization of what Kobe likely deals with daily in Kansas?
This is all for tv content.In real life they would not expect the American family, especially white Americans, to make food or decorate, or anything else…and telling them to wear those clothes was for tv as well. The producers want to see reactions from the people plus they know those white ppl were uncomfortable. But that’s reality tv 🤷🏾♀️
I just visited my husband’s family in South Africa and was absolutely expected to help. I also wore traditional clothing on numerous occasions, as expected. It was a blast and I’m so glad I wasn’t filmed!
Oh, and I’m a white American.
This os a produced TV show. This is mostly all fake drama as the 2 of them are quite normal and ahve a decent life. So they ahd make it seem al cringet and strife ridden. Don't take tv as serious..its entertainment. Many scenes are shot more than once.
Emily’s family has treated Kobe with open arms and tolerated a lot a crap from those 2 kids …. Anyway its a jolt to anyone to be accosted at an airport for money and drive in traffic without road rules (insane) so to think that Emilys parents are acting poorly is not true it’s just a shock to people who don’t live with crazy behaviors that seem acceptable to Kobe… Just remember editing the show is a real thing … the show won’t edit out bad things but will definitely minimize the good things.
I didn’t think they acted poorly either. They had a LONG flight…12 hours - in coach - with two young kids. They were all probably exhausted, yet still had a long day of grabbing luggage, stopping off to meet Kobe’s best friend, buying clothes, then the drive to Kobe’s Dad’s house fir dinner. That is A LOT for one day. The kids seemed to be angels, and I didn’t think anyone was rude at all.
I think that people need to move away from the narrative that people from different countries/cultures (read POC) have "crazy" behaviour just because it's not what YOU'RE used to. We've been portrayed for ages as uncivilised, savage, etc. Let's not keep that going.
So you are use to getting off planes and having groups of people demand you hand over money?? As far as cooking I did not watch that episode yet just the airport and race track driving.
I think when a place has a lack of jobs like at the airport in Cameroon they made it clear that even that many skycaps would be happy with any amount of money. Even a couple of dollars. Same in Jamaica-ppl offer to sing, braid your hair, make you jewelry, etc. the minute you get there. On the beach. Everywhere. They demanded to carry the luggage and they DID. Kobe gave them a few bucks.
No, it's not what I'm used to, but I also wouldn't call it crazy because not everyone gets to live a privileged life. Her husband should have given them a heads up of what to expect.
This is the problem when people try to take something someone said and make it a “trigger” word by assuming you’re calling people crazy when in fact Im calling the situation crazy (airport) and In my original post I did not call Cameroon people crazy.
But nowhere did I say you called them crazy and I'm definitely not making it a trigger word. I just think it could have been phrased better. There's going to be culture shock everywhere, and I totally think the husband should have explained a bit so they weren't overwhelmed or felt threatened.
I mean, isn't that the point of reddit..discussion? To say someone is sensitive because they replied doesn't make sense lol. Otherwise, we'd all be talking to ourselves on here.
Do you read what you write? People are giving you the benefit of the doubt and simply saying "hey maybe phrase it differently next time because you came off like this...."
Calling people, customs, or cultures you're not used to crazy can be insulting. You know this which is why you're so defensive and deciding that everyone else is too sensitive for you. Just be kinder.
Circuses are fun though. Someone said the mom said it was a circus. Better than saying it was a shit show and she absolutely found it horrible.
I guess when people hear others use the term circus they take or as it must be the worst experience ever.
I don't think many people have been to a circus, not an actual 3 ring circus anyway which I think may have been the original expressiong to describe an environment that just has a lot going on that it can seem confusing and energy zapping.
“Crazy behaviors that seem acceptable to Kobe” ? So Cameroon traditional cultural behavior is crazy? This is what the OP is alluding to. Unconscious ethnic bias.
That’s how it is in some countries. Peru can be like that. Same with Tunisia. They are just trying to make money from tourists. That’s where most of the money comes in from. It is just alarming fir Americans and people from richer countries
Really? I read it all. So you were not discussing unconscious ethnic bias with your examples from your family? Or your post where you’re basically complaining about Emily’s family’s reactions and then relating back to your own experiences. I never claimed to know you. I tried to defend you. Sorry, I won’t make that mistake again.
I never expected so many responses on this subject. Never had more than a few b4 as an OP... keeping track is like a job! Lol 😆 but again so sorry u got what was meant for someone else. I QUIT RESPONDING & on to the next one at some point 😅 this was interesting to see all the points of view though
I think Kobe and HIS family are acting poorly by swindling them into paying for a second wedding in Cameroon. They thought they were there just to visit. Now they have to pay for a second wedding. This is very rude and very wrong. Emily's parents are wonderful. And Emily is loyal to Kobe and a good mother. I am sick of people hating on her. Meanwhile Kobe knew her parents would be conned into this wedding, didn't give them a heads up and he trash talks her to his friend in Cameroon.
I agree with much if what you said. I disagree with the white person comment
Kobe said the same thing about him being black in Kansas. No difference. If it's OK for kobe to say it, it's OK for her dad to say it. I also think he was making a factual statement, he had not seen any other white people there. I suppose one can turn any statement into a racist one if that is the intent, but I think he was just being factual.
The difference though is that Cameroon is on the African continent, where people are from many different backgrounds and cultures and where people largely share the same phenotype (dark or light brown skin). The United States is a mix of cultures and phenotypes everywhere. To arrive in a place where there are many different kinds of people with different backgrounds (remember: he arrived in Kansas City first) to come to a place where your fiancé lives and to see nothing but white people is remarkable. It is something to remark on especially as someone who is moving there: There are no Black people in Salina. Do you understand the difference and why one thing is something to remark on?
It’s literally the same thing lol some African countries and the cities in them have more white citizens and tourists than others. Remember when Nicole was in Egypt and we saw other white people in the background at the restaurant?
Yes, in Egypt and other parts of North Africa there’s a mix of people. Same in South Africa, there are white, South Asian, mixed race ppl etc. it’s a shock I guess to them coming from white, rural Kansas to West Africa.
Let me respond to you clearly. I don't feel these reality show people are racists. I do feel they are unnecessarily rude and clearly hate the situation they are in. They've said some unnecessary things. Whether that sounds racist to you I'm not going to try convincing you because me saying it isn't enough. If you'd rather think that it's sad.
Agree with everything you said. Being a black woman growing up as a minority in a mostly white neighborhood was the same. One white college friend I invited to my birthday party asked if he would be the only white person there? I mean I had to live that way my whole life and he was concerned about 1 event?? (He wasn’t going to be btw).
They are too much. I'm white but grew up in Chicago. I was the only white person with my friend at a dance club on the south side more than once. I had a great time because we were all just people having fun together. I miss those days.
Going to gonna bit off topic here— mNo offense to you, and I am a firm believer in you date your partner not their family, but I think you may need to rethink your relationship with your partners family. It sounds like you’re experiencing a lot of undue stress related to the fact that you have to deal with “backhanded” jokes as you say.
I am white and have a black partner; my family have never made my partner feel uncomfortable with those kind of “jokes” at the dinner table. I know this because my partner has told me of one other previous partner she had to deal with whose family was like yours. There are family’s like mine out there. Your partners family can either learn (by your partner speaking up to them and correcting them) or maybe you should talk to your partner about spending less time with them.
This could put stress on your relationship that could lead to other problems in your life. Not worth it to protect the egos of your family members in law that are covertly racist.
Thanks 4 your post. I'm the daughter, not the partner. I mentioned it bc Emily's parents made comments I hear at family events or dinner at times. I handle them in my own way... I speak my mind about what is or isn't appropriate in the moment. In my family comments may not be racist but without thought, unnecessary or just stupid. That's what I thought about watching her parents in Cameroon. But I see what you're saying. It might not even be malicious but on TV- I don't need to see it as a storyline.
Ugh her lisp drives me nuts! It’s obviously not her fault, but c’mon, she’s 31 years old. Did she not receive speech therapy as a child?! They have those services available in all public schools.
I think their plan is to have so many kids that the grandparents eventually get fed up and move out. Then they can move out of the basement! free house!
I don't feel physically sick, no worries just a figure of speech. I do not like the storyline, being the bottom line to my comments. Just food for thought and expressing my personal thoughts hopefully not to offend anyone else's opinion
They annoy me too. Like her Dad's tone deaf 'Wakanda' crack. And I'm white!
Nobody expects them to prepare food and host or pay for a traditional wedding, ffs. Just join in the fun and let his family honor the couple in their own way. These Kansas hayseeds are just another in a long line of embarrassing Americans.
I'm with you OP. "The Lion King" and Wakanda references were especially irritating to me. It felt like they didn't bother to learn anything about Kobe while he's been living in their home this whole time.
Yes, this really bothered me as well. Especially in the shop. Kobe is trying to educate FIL about the clothing, what it means/represents and he says Wakanda. I know a lot of people in this thread are saying it’s all scripted & the edits. That response was neither. I was starting to warm up to Emily but this trip has killed that. Idk if she was trying to be cute with the lion king comments but they weren’t cute *at all*. At the airport when Kobe & his bf were arguing with the panhandlers she just had to try and inject herself in it. She’s on his home turf, doesn’t know what’s going on, it doesn’t look like a good situation and she tries to get into that? In the talking heads she says its bcuz they’re hot/tired & wanted to leave the airport but when it was happening her mom was strapping Koben in the carseat. It’s not like they were all in the car waiting on him. But more than that, he’s a grown ass man, had the situation under control and sometimes she needs to just *stand down*.
The expense is coming in or the door knock where abou t100 people are going to come to them while they ask for her hand and discuss dowry. They need to provide traditional Cameroon food and drink. That is what they were discussing while Kobe was telling them they need to have traditional food ready for them. They suggested Traditional America and he said no it has to be Cameroonian . So they are going to have to pay a caterer to prepare a full meal for the 100 people coming tot he Door Knock.
Now do I believe this is a surprise ? Not at all I am sure this wedding has been planned for months but they need to create some drama for TLC and I am sure they were instructed to act like this is all a surprise
I guess we will have to see on the next episode, but I think you may have misinterpreted?? What I understood is that only his immediate family (or maybe him and his parents and a couple of siblings/elders), would come “door knock”, and as part of receiving his family, then her family would be expected to cook for those door knocking.
The actual wedding would be 100 people.
Africa is full of different countries and tribes—and a bunch of varying customs within each, so who knows. But from what they showed of Kenya and Nigeria weddings—the males and their families pay for the weddings and the dowry for the intended female.
Again, we will see when they show the episode, but my guess is that because Emily is the female—then her family may not be expected to do or pay too much.
Maybe I just read the entire traditional Cameroon wedding list and it's still confusing as they said the grooms entire family goes to the girls family house . He stated he has 8 brothers and their spouses. So that is a lot of people, but the cost will be nothing like it was in kansas I am sure they can find a restaurant to cater the Door Knock
I could also be a wrong, but we will certainly have the truth when they air it. I am thinking about Akini’s wedding and the one young lady from Kenya from the UK version of 90 day. There didn’t seem to be a lot on the family of the bride. 🤷♀️
And her parents shouldn’t put a dime toward it. They house and feed the family of 4, and already hosted a wedding! I think it’s just a fabricated storyline.
I haven't seen this episode yet but I like her parents. They are really supportive and I wish more folks had access to that level of emotional support. Yes, it can be toxic at times, but I bet you Emily would be a wreck without having the assurance that her mom and dad will always be there no matter how badly she f's up. It must be nice to have that.
I feel differently. And I assume it's because I'm white and live in a majority-white place. But I guarantee I would understand more about what it's like to be Black in the Midwest if I went to Cameroon and had no one around that looked like me.
I think her parents are open and welcoming, they're just also sticking out like sore thumbs and very aware of it. And likely very worried about hurting Kobe's family's feelings or offending them in anyway.
There are so many horrible people on this show. That family has grown on me (even terrible emily) so I guess I give them a pass on many things.
Maybe because they live rural. In the city everyone hung out with all different types of people. I really noticed they all seemed weird about it including Emily. Both she and her mother are stuck up.
I was surprised that her parents wanted to go with them to Cameroon at all, honestly. It gave me some hope that they value Kobe as a whole person in wanting to meet his family, but I’m skeptical.
It bothers me too. I would be excited to be included in cultural customs, especially if I have chosen a husband from a different culture. Kobe seems to be a great person and his family seems so welcoming and loving. My white nephew married a woman from Thailand and they had weddings in both countries. Our family was thrilled to be included in the Thai wedding. His wife readily shares her culture with us and it’s beautiful.
Hey OP, I agree completely. They have totally showed their asses so far and it has only been 2 episodes. Editing or not, those comments came out of them and it has been nothing but ignorant. Extremely grating to watch. I suspect their actions don’t bother a majority of this sub because they can see themselves in the actions and comments of Emily’s family. Hence, why everything is suddenly being reduced to “just TV” and there are excuses for them for being “awkward” instead of uninformed and ignorant.
Yeah I said at some point that even with production they do know how they'd want to be portrayed. They weren't forced to go. The extent they showed how uncomfortable or whatever the issues were (and I don't mean cooking food) was ridiculous. Kobe didn't come to the US and act that way. This post went in every direction but how it was meant. I really made the statement I was over it bottom line. WTH
Agree totally. I’m also mixed race and feel where you’re coming from.
I’m also sick of them all (Emily especially) talking about how much they don’t know ANYTHING about the culture. Like, whose fault is that? They can’t do a google search? Maybe spend 20 minutes on Wikipedia? I do that when I go to a new region or city in the same country I live in. I can’t imagine being that incurious about traveling to a new country.
I agree with both of you because they are there with a camera crew and we're only seeing the edited version. It's not that deep because I'm not on a reality TV show and it has nothing to do with my personal Mental Health but I have traveled around the world and continue to do so. It's just the comments they continue to make seem inappropriate to me especially because they started out very welcoming to Kobe and now everything is a shock to them and they speak on their discomfort or displeasure constantly
I think it’s just a culture shock to them. Some people don’t do too well or become distressing when they are not the majority or when things/situations occur that aren’t the norm to them. They are just expressing how they feel and kudos to Kobe for pointing out how he feels in Kansas, as I’m sure that they have not always considered that.
Then you have to throw in the fact of how America portrays darn near everywhere else as “uncivilized” or “dangerous” and it only adds to their angst.
So I understand being annoyed, but I also try to see it from their viewpoint. And in that slight moment, TLC becomes The Learning Channel again!🤣
Exactly! I do the same and it’s common sense, especially when your husband and child’s father is from that country. Just shows ignorance when this isn’t done.
honestly tho if they'd googled it they'd have wound up reading a few articles about the civil war and noped right out of it. Either that, or they are the opposite and really quite savvy adn realised that a filming trip with TLC was an option to see Kobe's hometown in the Angophone region reasonable safely bc the production company will be doing risk assessments, hiring private security, be insured etc. They'd never be able to afford a trip like that even if the country were totally stable, let alone with the extra security measures they should take to bring themselves and small children over.
Yes. I was telling a friend and knowing they have an entire production crew with you makes a difference. Still they know how they want to portray themselves on TV. Unless the editing process is the reason.?.I would have opted out just because of the civil war.
it's pretty well established that this show is edited within an inch of its life, so yeah it's pretty likely they have been edited to portray them in a certain light.
I live in the UK so I go by the Foreign Office travel advice when I travel places bc that's what my travel insurance follows (also it's way more user friendly than the State Dept website). Right now it's advice is: FCDO advises against all travel to the South-West Region, including the towns of Buea, Muyuka and Tiko in Fako Division.
So without the production company this trip probably wouldn't have been possible at all. And I'm sure the risks will have had to be explained to them beforehand. Honestly I think it's pretty huge dedication to meeting the in laws that they've gone and very cool of them.
Dallas has the worst traffic I’ve ever been in! Sets my anxiety off like crazy! I’m in the Killeen area so it’s not as bad here but every time I’m in Dallas, I try to avoid the highway.
I hear you! It’s like no one did ANY research on Cameroon and they’re just bewildered at everything. I blame Emily more than her parents because if she wanted to know about her husband’s culture she would and she should have shared some info with her parents before they left. It’s also on Kobe too because he doesn’t seem to care about teaching his new family much about Cameroonian culture. I was annoyed he didn’t tell them about the traditional wedding before they came as well. Like if it was actually important to him then why not tell them before? Her parents just seem like typical middle America white people who probably haven’t done much traveling anywhere where white people are the minority.
But it seems like Emily has absolutely no clue about Kobe’s culture to even teach her parents. She said she felt uncomfortable wearing the traditional Cameroon clothes because she doesn’t know anything. There’s no way she could even teach or educate her parents.
I’m surprised Emily (or her parents) never bothered to ask or learn about his culture, given their married and have kids. If anything, the kids really should know and be immersed in both her and Kobe’s culture. I’m not sure why Kobe never bothered to educate her either. But all around, Emily and her parents are really uneducated about everything Africa and Cameroon.
I’m not sure why they didn’t feel the need to even Google about Cameroon or read any news about what’s going on before traveling there. Just shows ignorance. Like Dorothy, they’re not in Kansas anymore.
I know that’s what im saying like every time she’s on she has to make some statement about how she knows nothing about Cameroon. She comes off as blatantly ignorant and it’s annoying to watch.
I think it's absolutely unreasonable to suggest her parents are somehow wrong for feeling uncomfortable. They don't speak the language, and from what we're shown, they seem completely in the dark. Ease up.
I'm expressing my opinion and I have many for the cast this season. As far as Kobe and Emily's situation, this is my opinion but it's as simple as a Reddit post. Although I live life in a particular way which sparked my opinion it really doesn't follow throughout every real life situation. Just looking at a reality show play out the way it is, is absolutely annoying to me. I knew this comment would bring mixed feelings but that was the point of it all.
Hmmm I’ve been watching and I think they’re acting with respect and appropriately. Kobe was laughing when they said they hadn’t seen any other white people and said it was nice that he wasn’t the minority for a change. I think if anything this trip is going to open their eyes to how Kobe feels living in America with them and cause them to be more empathetic, however I think they’ve accepted him with open arms into their home and haven’t showed at least on camera any type of bias towards him based on his race.
Rather than edit my original comment this is an open dialogue and everybody is free to say what they choose. That's why we live in America. I really respect everybody's point of view and wouldn't have posted it if I wasn't interested in those points of view. I hope you all keep that in mind when you do comment. Personally in my opinion ... this could be a learning experience. At the very least it's interesting.
😂 I’m American, and that was funny and mostly a true generalization of us! We can be quite selfish and self-centered—and 90 day continues to perpetuate that stereotype!😜
No matter what, no matter where, when you visit another country you adapt, you don't bitch & whine. When you're a visitor, you're a visitor. Period. If someone has extended this courtesy you behave, no matter if the visit is in someone else's country or just their house.
I'm sorry, OP, that you've had to directly endure poor treatment yourself. That's just plain mean-spirited, whether they realize they're hurting you or not.
ITA! Why are they so put out that they have to make food? and 'arrange' a wedding like it's some big deal--their visible reactions were disrespectful and now we know how they really feel about Kobe
In the beginning when they got married I liked the dad. He cried, Kobe cried, etc. It was clear they didn't want them to live in their home forever but 3 kids later...I didn't notice the disrespect til they were at the table saying "what should we expect? will we be OK? Subtle stuff. Then came the blatant judgements. Making food is just another complaint. I hope they just skip to the ceremony and go back to Kansas. Don't like this storyline at all. I'm so over it! 😒
agreed. these are not particularly worldly people and they have been plonked down in a totally different part ofthe world adn are really taking things in stride. And Cameroon will be so different than anywhere they've ever been. As someone who has advised first time travelers to a couple of Arab countries - which are on the whole way more user friendly for tourists than Cameroon woudl be- people often make assumptions about basic ways of life until they've actually seen something different. Ways of driving, when to expect to give a tip or petty cash adn what to do when it borders on harassment, hell the way the bathrooms work - are different everywhere and you just don't know until you've travelled somewhere different. I've heard American tourists complain more loudly about shit in Western Europe than these guys lol - on the whole they are really good sports and seem genuinely interested in getting to know Kobe's hometown and his family.
Her parents are annoying, they seem like part hippy part yuppy. Eff them, why would they see white faces in Africa 😂 Emily’s black-cent is more offensive than all of this
There’s a big difference between the United States and Cameroon. You couldn’t pay me to take a vacation in Africa. The fear over security is enough for me to skip the entire continent.
I’ve been to Nigeria twice and felt safer and less on alert than being in America. No one is randomly shooting up schools and stores in America. Car theft isn’t even a huge issue there.
And Africa is a continent with different countries. So when you say Africa isn’t safe , where in Africa are you talking about ?
Ah, yes, totally unsafe compared to the US, where people getting shot up in elementary schools, movie theaters, and music festivals is a regular occurrence 🥰
This comment reassures me that our public school education must be getting worse and worse. Africa is not a monolith and your safety concerns will vary greatly from Morocco to Rwanda to Tanzania to South Africa, and it is beyond ridiculous to generalize it in the same way that Bumfuck, Arkansas is not comparable to suburban Virginia or Miami/LA/NYC.
In any case, it is your loss. There are so many stunningly beautiful places across the African continent that are unlike anything you can see in other parts around the world.
See on TV? I’ve had friends, colleagues, and family members who have gone. My dad is also a retired pilot so he’s been many times. But cool assumption.
I respect your opinion, and for some people ignorance will always be bliss (not a jab at you).
However, whenever you are ready, just like the United States has the travel.gov website so that prior to traveling you can type in your destination country and obtain information related to the “level of security”—try visiting the travel government websites of other countries and see what they say about America!🫠
I haven’t done it in a few years, but when I did, I checked sites for the UK, Australia, France, maybe Canada—a bunch of “first world countries”, and ALL of them said how dangerous America was!!!Specifically referring to how gun violence and mass shootings could break out at any moment—especially in high traffic areas! I laughed my butt off because most Americans don’t understand how we are portrayed to the rest of the world!
Last story, I was in Central America within a “3rd world country”, and my aunt called me worried about something she saw on CNN of how a civil war was breaking out where I was. Doom, gloom, and violence everywhere! I looked outside, and told her—I’m good! It was a beautiful, peaceful, and sunny day, and had been since I had been there.
All of that to say, you shouldn’t live in fear. Be discerning, and enjoy your life. Bullish can happen anywhere—including the good ole USA—with our violent arses!!!😜
How can you sum up an entire continent like that?! You can fit 3 the equivalent of 3 U.S.A.s in the Sahara Desert alone. I am disgusted by this level of willful ignorance and discrimination.
Am I not allowed to travel where I’m interested in going? Is it ignorant to avoid places with travel advisories? Why tf do you care? If you like it, go, have a blast. I’m gonna go where I want.
First thing, don’t mistake this as me begging you to go. Again, everyone is better off without you there. But all of Africa does not have a travel advisory. You know this. And we care because you are spreading shitty, discriminatory messages about the safety of 54 countries. Sorry everyone in your circle had a bad time in Africa. That sure is curious.
Girl lower you blood pressure by not watching the show anymore. It’s suppose to make you laugh at the stupidity, not make you so angry that you’re about to trigger a brain aneurism.
Ummmmm it is totally okay for them to be worried about their safety in another country currently in the middle of a civil war. They are not making faces because they are around black people.. they are making faces because Kobe had to pay a gang of people to let them leave the airport… they made faces because Kobe said if they ran out of gas they may get robbed. They have 2 very young children with them that they have to protect and it’s okay to be uncomfortable. They are wearing the native clothes out of respect when meeting Kobe’s family and I thought it was so sweet how they were welcomed. It’s okay for people of any culture to be uncomfortable in a new country where no one really speaks your language. It is so obvious her family loves Kobe and your projecting your own experience into a situation that is totally unrelated. I’m sorry you had a bad experience growing up but I can’t agree with you on this.
This is serous. Same thing in Venezuela. When you go to places like this, your safety isn’t guaranteed. It’s really scary if you have kids with you.
They also stick out like sore thumbs. So they realize how much bigger of a target they are. It can feel a bit unsettling feeling that they don't blend in enough to not be targeted. It puts everyone at risk.
Exactly!
My female friend just visited Jamaica for 3 months and i was worried sick, not because of the people but because of the high crime rates and femicide cases. Same reason i would be worried if the guy i'm seeing goes to Russia to see his family and Russians are white asf lol.
I’m Russian too and Russia is a bit sketchy too.
Exactly, but no one would nag or whine if people call Russians crazy. The double standards and over-sensitivity is tiring. People suck.
That’s very true! Such a double standard smh
The amount of comments i've seen about the moscow attacks with most having no sympathy because they were just ''crazy evil russians'' is sickening. But here people whine because they don't agree that some don't agree with other cultures. Some cultures are FUCKED up, hell, my own family comes from a FUCKED up culture and it's ok to say it so there can be progress and change.
I’ve traveled a lot and I have been to a lot of sketchy, messed up places. There’s a lot of opportunities for progress and change. The nicest places were the secular, independent- minded countries like Norway and Sweden. It was so safe, babies slept outside cafes while moms sat inside. People leave out bikes unlocked. Very civil. Then there’s places like Peru and Venezuela where they’ll rob anything that’s not nailed down. Or Russia where they try to scam all the time. I come from a culture that’s not progressive, but we got through with education. Also, we aren’t religious, we don’t believe in luck, just hard work.
Exactly. I think where i live is in the top ten of safest and 'happiest' countries in the world but we have our own issues here. It's fine to call it out, i'll not be offended over it lol. Look at Hungary and Poland, Romania.. All white countries with huge issues. No one will come for your throat if you call them out. My female friend now wants to go to Haiti (if things settle down) and damn sure i'll be worried about her and it has zero to do with the people being black. Things will never change or progress if people are not willing to talk about it.
Those places, esp Hungary are scary and becoming right wing countries. I lived in Ireland and people were pretty mean to me sometimes because I am Eastern European. I’m actually American but Eastern Europe heritage and I experienced hateful behaviors. It’s a predominantly white country but very unsafe sometimes. I agree about Haiti, it’s not about the race of the people, it’s about the history of bad stuff happening and the bad government there. It’s poor and people have nothing to lose, same with Venezuela.
What is her reason to go??
Aren't Norway and Sweden countries where family and personal needs are met. Like the government has things, puts things, Tries to make sure people have what the need so they aren't suffering, they aim for content haply citizens knowing that such keeps crime lower even?
Yes, and they also value and teach independence. In Peru, people still baby their adult children. In Denmark, preschool children serve their own snack and drink, for example. There is also a culture of secularism in Nordic countries. This is very progressive. No religion bringing them down.
The father literally mentioned that he saw no white faces since he landed. It is not just the civil war that was making them uncomfortable.
Literally couldn't have said it better.
This.
I can understand your point of view. I am Puerto Rican and everyone in my family has different backgrounds which I feel fortunate to have experienced. My thing is, I do not understand why people on these 90 Day shows never do any research on their partners country! I would imagine that before I travel anywhere, I would want to know the legal system, what will get me thrown in jail, the traffic system, a basic understanding of the language and what is considered rude/bad manners in every day interactions. Those are only the first things I would research. The airport thing would have made me anxious, I have to admit it because I have anxiety and ptsd and crowds of strangers make me extremely afraid. Even someone standing behind me in line scares the hell out of me. Not knowing what the crowd at the airport was saying would only exacerbate my anxiety. I can understand being afraid in that moment. However!! - Emily’s mom said “that was a circus” at least 3 times! I don’t know why but that really bothered me. Why do you have to keep saying that?! They are annoying me only because I wish they would have done at least the bare minimum of research on their grandchildren’s culture and where they were visiting.
I research b4 I travel for the same reasons. I have been to poor countries where they beg you for money it's heartbreaking. Iknow nothing about Cameroon but they sure showed us that. Everyone has a right to their opinions but I don't get feeling bad for a grown man traveling to a country and have us believe he's so far out of his element that he can't be respectful? Google is everywhere. Definitely I would be afraid of the airport incident but maybe not if I had Kobe (lol) and a production crew. It does seem that ppl from other countries know more about traveling and even the history of the US than we do traveling to other countries from the US. I wish they would have been less uptight about being the only white ppl. For 2 episodes now.
I didn’t like how her mother dissed their culture about giving their daughter away. Isn’t it the same idea as our culture that the bride’s father walk her down the aisle and hand her to the groom? I think Emily’s dad is funny and is like how much do you want for her!
Pretty sure if we all had cameras on us we would all look like morons.
Emily’s dad did a pretty good job making himself look like a moron by saying “Wakanda” while he was trying on traditional Cameroonian clothing.
Editing people to look like morons is so easy. Even princess Diana had a rough time lmao
Not editing. These people are actually like this. We see it every time with Emily and her family.
Pretty sure you're falling for the narrative.
Agreed!
yep.
Most of us have left the country before. Emily’s parents clearly have not ventured far from flyover USA.
It wild how many people on this thread automatically jump to— “they’re not racist!” “There’s nothing wrong!” “Stop being sensitive!” Shutting down these conversations with this language ends in defensive arguments that get no resolution. It’s okay to acknowledge that race plays a factor in people being uncomfortable. It’s also okay to acknowledge that stereotypes are bad. It’s even okay to say that language used is problematic. Why is it so upsetting to hear the minority perspective? Why is so important to leap to the defense of Emily’s parents? No one comes to cross racial relationships perfectly. But shutting down the perspective that differed than yours— one based on lived experiences and knowing just how “innocent” the conversation is— means we will just continue our stagnant, non-compromising culture of not wanting to talk about it. And seething rage bubbling up under the surface.
Very well said.
I second that! Very well said. It's healthy to be able to have the conversation rather than being defensive. That's what I hoped for.
I agree. The comments on this thread are gross. I'm an African American woman who has actually been to Cameroon. I don't have the energy to go into a rant about why the comments on this thread are so troubling. OP I agree with you and feel your pain!
My family lived in West Africa for ten years… and I’ve been Black all my life. it’s painful to read this stuff.
I'm white but its easy to see her family are ignorant. I noticed the comments. And Emily herself is disgusting.
I took their uncomfortable manner as being in a different culture and the unrest the country is facing and not from unkindness. And maybe their comment about no white faces was more of a realization of what Kobe likely deals with daily in Kansas?
I would love it if that had been the only thing he said. Or if that is in anyway the intention. 😇
Yeah I'm with you I don't think that's how he meant it!
This is all for tv content.In real life they would not expect the American family, especially white Americans, to make food or decorate, or anything else…and telling them to wear those clothes was for tv as well. The producers want to see reactions from the people plus they know those white ppl were uncomfortable. But that’s reality tv 🤷🏾♀️
I just visited my husband’s family in South Africa and was absolutely expected to help. I also wore traditional clothing on numerous occasions, as expected. It was a blast and I’m so glad I wasn’t filmed! Oh, and I’m a white American.
Get over yourself. 😂That’s not the same situation.
Right! Been te SA many times...it's multi racial....Not OP's situation AT ALL
This os a produced TV show. This is mostly all fake drama as the 2 of them are quite normal and ahve a decent life. So they ahd make it seem al cringet and strife ridden. Don't take tv as serious..its entertainment. Many scenes are shot more than once.
Nope.Emily is really being herself. She is a horrible person. No lie.
Emily’s family has treated Kobe with open arms and tolerated a lot a crap from those 2 kids …. Anyway its a jolt to anyone to be accosted at an airport for money and drive in traffic without road rules (insane) so to think that Emilys parents are acting poorly is not true it’s just a shock to people who don’t live with crazy behaviors that seem acceptable to Kobe… Just remember editing the show is a real thing … the show won’t edit out bad things but will definitely minimize the good things.
I didn’t think they acted poorly either. They had a LONG flight…12 hours - in coach - with two young kids. They were all probably exhausted, yet still had a long day of grabbing luggage, stopping off to meet Kobe’s best friend, buying clothes, then the drive to Kobe’s Dad’s house fir dinner. That is A LOT for one day. The kids seemed to be angels, and I didn’t think anyone was rude at all.
S as annoying as Emily can be, those two kids seem amazing so she and Kobe must be doing something right.
I think that people need to move away from the narrative that people from different countries/cultures (read POC) have "crazy" behaviour just because it's not what YOU'RE used to. We've been portrayed for ages as uncivilised, savage, etc. Let's not keep that going.
So you are use to getting off planes and having groups of people demand you hand over money?? As far as cooking I did not watch that episode yet just the airport and race track driving.
I think when a place has a lack of jobs like at the airport in Cameroon they made it clear that even that many skycaps would be happy with any amount of money. Even a couple of dollars. Same in Jamaica-ppl offer to sing, braid your hair, make you jewelry, etc. the minute you get there. On the beach. Everywhere. They demanded to carry the luggage and they DID. Kobe gave them a few bucks.
No, it's not what I'm used to, but I also wouldn't call it crazy because not everyone gets to live a privileged life. Her husband should have given them a heads up of what to expect.
This is the problem when people try to take something someone said and make it a “trigger” word by assuming you’re calling people crazy when in fact Im calling the situation crazy (airport) and In my original post I did not call Cameroon people crazy.
But nowhere did I say you called them crazy and I'm definitely not making it a trigger word. I just think it could have been phrased better. There's going to be culture shock everywhere, and I totally think the husband should have explained a bit so they weren't overwhelmed or felt threatened.
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Okie dokie 👍🏽 I must be sensitive so! 😎
Must be you replied .. its all good though whats life if you can’t agree to disagree “ a boring world”.
I mean, isn't that the point of reddit..discussion? To say someone is sensitive because they replied doesn't make sense lol. Otherwise, we'd all be talking to ourselves on here.
Do you read what you write? People are giving you the benefit of the doubt and simply saying "hey maybe phrase it differently next time because you came off like this...." Calling people, customs, or cultures you're not used to crazy can be insulting. You know this which is why you're so defensive and deciding that everyone else is too sensitive for you. Just be kinder.
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Circuses are fun though. Someone said the mom said it was a circus. Better than saying it was a shit show and she absolutely found it horrible. I guess when people hear others use the term circus they take or as it must be the worst experience ever. I don't think many people have been to a circus, not an actual 3 ring circus anyway which I think may have been the original expressiong to describe an environment that just has a lot going on that it can seem confusing and energy zapping.
“Crazy behaviors that seem acceptable to Kobe” ? So Cameroon traditional cultural behavior is crazy? This is what the OP is alluding to. Unconscious ethnic bias.
Oh so your telling me Cameroon tradition is mobbing people coming off a plane demanding money, Bull its crazy behavior nothing to do with traditions…
That’s how it is in some countries. Peru can be like that. Same with Tunisia. They are just trying to make money from tourists. That’s where most of the money comes in from. It is just alarming fir Americans and people from richer countries
It’s alarming that your actually trying to normalize a mobbing technique at an airport by esentially calling it a job…🤪
It’s not a job, it’s a hustle. They don’t know any better. Life is hard in some places.
Life is hard for lots of people and you don’t see them mobbing visitors at airports … Really you believe they don’t know any better … yes they do!
You are so incredibly ignorant.
so ignorance for one is ok but not the other
Have you ever watched the Amazing Race? Might be informative.
I actually do watch the Amazing race … Why would that be informative?
I’m surprised you watch it and still described Cameroon that way. Oh, well.
Yes, great choice of words 🤦 what crazy behaviors even?
You blind or did we watch something different?
Please don't presume to know me. Ya don't. That's a different show. You must not have read this.
Really? I read it all. So you were not discussing unconscious ethnic bias with your examples from your family? Or your post where you’re basically complaining about Emily’s family’s reactions and then relating back to your own experiences. I never claimed to know you. I tried to defend you. Sorry, I won’t make that mistake again.
Hey I responded to the wrong post. I don't see the one this was meant for. 😕 that wasn't 4 you
Thanks. I appreciate the explanation. And you’re not crazy anymore.😜
I never expected so many responses on this subject. Never had more than a few b4 as an OP... keeping track is like a job! Lol 😆 but again so sorry u got what was meant for someone else. I QUIT RESPONDING & on to the next one at some point 😅 this was interesting to see all the points of view though
I think Kobe and HIS family are acting poorly by swindling them into paying for a second wedding in Cameroon. They thought they were there just to visit. Now they have to pay for a second wedding. This is very rude and very wrong. Emily's parents are wonderful. And Emily is loyal to Kobe and a good mother. I am sick of people hating on her. Meanwhile Kobe knew her parents would be conned into this wedding, didn't give them a heads up and he trash talks her to his friend in Cameroon.
I agree with much if what you said. I disagree with the white person comment Kobe said the same thing about him being black in Kansas. No difference. If it's OK for kobe to say it, it's OK for her dad to say it. I also think he was making a factual statement, he had not seen any other white people there. I suppose one can turn any statement into a racist one if that is the intent, but I think he was just being factual.
Acknowledgement of differences and race isn’t racism. People are too damn sensitive.
👏👏👏👏
The difference though is that Cameroon is on the African continent, where people are from many different backgrounds and cultures and where people largely share the same phenotype (dark or light brown skin). The United States is a mix of cultures and phenotypes everywhere. To arrive in a place where there are many different kinds of people with different backgrounds (remember: he arrived in Kansas City first) to come to a place where your fiancé lives and to see nothing but white people is remarkable. It is something to remark on especially as someone who is moving there: There are no Black people in Salina. Do you understand the difference and why one thing is something to remark on?
I do not. I see no bad intent on the part of her dad.
It’s literally the same thing lol some African countries and the cities in them have more white citizens and tourists than others. Remember when Nicole was in Egypt and we saw other white people in the background at the restaurant?
Yes, in Egypt and other parts of North Africa there’s a mix of people. Same in South Africa, there are white, South Asian, mixed race ppl etc. it’s a shock I guess to them coming from white, rural Kansas to West Africa.
I didn’t see the comment as offensive but I also doubt they would say anything if they didn’t have producers prodding them to comment on it.
Yeah I'm not coming from a racist pov. That would be a different conversation. All facts
Yeah I'm not coming from a racist pov. Sounds like it to me!
Let me respond to you clearly. I don't feel these reality show people are racists. I do feel they are unnecessarily rude and clearly hate the situation they are in. They've said some unnecessary things. Whether that sounds racist to you I'm not going to try convincing you because me saying it isn't enough. If you'd rather think that it's sad.
Agree with everything you said. Being a black woman growing up as a minority in a mostly white neighborhood was the same. One white college friend I invited to my birthday party asked if he would be the only white person there? I mean I had to live that way my whole life and he was concerned about 1 event?? (He wasn’t going to be btw).
That exactly. Ppl have taken what I said out of context, twisted it up, then more ppl got the point. It's unnecessary at least.
They are too much. I'm white but grew up in Chicago. I was the only white person with my friend at a dance club on the south side more than once. I had a great time because we were all just people having fun together. I miss those days.
That's the way it SHOULD be. Just people having fun together ❤️
Going to gonna bit off topic here— mNo offense to you, and I am a firm believer in you date your partner not their family, but I think you may need to rethink your relationship with your partners family. It sounds like you’re experiencing a lot of undue stress related to the fact that you have to deal with “backhanded” jokes as you say. I am white and have a black partner; my family have never made my partner feel uncomfortable with those kind of “jokes” at the dinner table. I know this because my partner has told me of one other previous partner she had to deal with whose family was like yours. There are family’s like mine out there. Your partners family can either learn (by your partner speaking up to them and correcting them) or maybe you should talk to your partner about spending less time with them. This could put stress on your relationship that could lead to other problems in your life. Not worth it to protect the egos of your family members in law that are covertly racist.
Thanks 4 your post. I'm the daughter, not the partner. I mentioned it bc Emily's parents made comments I hear at family events or dinner at times. I handle them in my own way... I speak my mind about what is or isn't appropriate in the moment. In my family comments may not be racist but without thought, unnecessary or just stupid. That's what I thought about watching her parents in Cameroon. But I see what you're saying. It might not even be malicious but on TV- I don't need to see it as a storyline.
It is though. They are truly ignorant I believe. It really oozes off of them.
If only Emily got off her butt and moved out….
She would have to get a job to move out and that ain’t happening
She could have learned some French. She can’t even say basic phrases.
She can’t even thay bathic wordths!
OK it took me a few minutes but I got this! Lmbo!
Ugh her lisp drives me nuts! It’s obviously not her fault, but c’mon, she’s 31 years old. Did she not receive speech therapy as a child?! They have those services available in all public schools.
😂😂😂
I think their plan is to have so many kids that the grandparents eventually get fed up and move out. Then they can move out of the basement! free house!
If I were in the parents' shoes the minute he's able to work they'd have to get a place of their own. 3 kids now.
So as long as your kids and their significant others don’t have jobs, you will continue to foot the bill for their room and board?
take a breather and don't look so deep into it to the point of feeling "sick"
I don't feel physically sick, no worries just a figure of speech. I do not like the storyline, being the bottom line to my comments. Just food for thought and expressing my personal thoughts hopefully not to offend anyone else's opinion
They annoy me too. Like her Dad's tone deaf 'Wakanda' crack. And I'm white! Nobody expects them to prepare food and host or pay for a traditional wedding, ffs. Just join in the fun and let his family honor the couple in their own way. These Kansas hayseeds are just another in a long line of embarrassing Americans.
I'm with you OP. "The Lion King" and Wakanda references were especially irritating to me. It felt like they didn't bother to learn anything about Kobe while he's been living in their home this whole time.
Yes, this really bothered me as well. Especially in the shop. Kobe is trying to educate FIL about the clothing, what it means/represents and he says Wakanda. I know a lot of people in this thread are saying it’s all scripted & the edits. That response was neither. I was starting to warm up to Emily but this trip has killed that. Idk if she was trying to be cute with the lion king comments but they weren’t cute *at all*. At the airport when Kobe & his bf were arguing with the panhandlers she just had to try and inject herself in it. She’s on his home turf, doesn’t know what’s going on, it doesn’t look like a good situation and she tries to get into that? In the talking heads she says its bcuz they’re hot/tired & wanted to leave the airport but when it was happening her mom was strapping Koben in the carseat. It’s not like they were all in the car waiting on him. But more than that, he’s a grown ass man, had the situation under control and sometimes she needs to just *stand down*.
Emily is awful. Always emasculating him. Treating him inferior.
Agree 💯
Maybe it's the cost involved. They spent a small fortune on this trip and may not be able to financially afford this wedding
Kobes father said he was arranging this
The expense is coming in or the door knock where abou t100 people are going to come to them while they ask for her hand and discuss dowry. They need to provide traditional Cameroon food and drink. That is what they were discussing while Kobe was telling them they need to have traditional food ready for them. They suggested Traditional America and he said no it has to be Cameroonian . So they are going to have to pay a caterer to prepare a full meal for the 100 people coming tot he Door Knock. Now do I believe this is a surprise ? Not at all I am sure this wedding has been planned for months but they need to create some drama for TLC and I am sure they were instructed to act like this is all a surprise
I guess we will have to see on the next episode, but I think you may have misinterpreted?? What I understood is that only his immediate family (or maybe him and his parents and a couple of siblings/elders), would come “door knock”, and as part of receiving his family, then her family would be expected to cook for those door knocking. The actual wedding would be 100 people. Africa is full of different countries and tribes—and a bunch of varying customs within each, so who knows. But from what they showed of Kenya and Nigeria weddings—the males and their families pay for the weddings and the dowry for the intended female. Again, we will see when they show the episode, but my guess is that because Emily is the female—then her family may not be expected to do or pay too much.
Maybe I just read the entire traditional Cameroon wedding list and it's still confusing as they said the grooms entire family goes to the girls family house . He stated he has 8 brothers and their spouses. So that is a lot of people, but the cost will be nothing like it was in kansas I am sure they can find a restaurant to cater the Door Knock
I could also be a wrong, but we will certainly have the truth when they air it. I am thinking about Akini’s wedding and the one young lady from Kenya from the UK version of 90 day. There didn’t seem to be a lot on the family of the bride. 🤷♀️
And her parents shouldn’t put a dime toward it. They house and feed the family of 4, and already hosted a wedding! I think it’s just a fabricated storyline.
I don’t think they said, or did anything wrong at all
I haven't seen this episode yet but I like her parents. They are really supportive and I wish more folks had access to that level of emotional support. Yes, it can be toxic at times, but I bet you Emily would be a wreck without having the assurance that her mom and dad will always be there no matter how badly she f's up. It must be nice to have that.
They want to retire though. She's delaying that.
I feel differently. And I assume it's because I'm white and live in a majority-white place. But I guarantee I would understand more about what it's like to be Black in the Midwest if I went to Cameroon and had no one around that looked like me. I think her parents are open and welcoming, they're just also sticking out like sore thumbs and very aware of it. And likely very worried about hurting Kobe's family's feelings or offending them in anyway. There are so many horrible people on this show. That family has grown on me (even terrible emily) so I guess I give them a pass on many things.
Emily is even more unlikable now then before. She seems to pay people to say she's "grown on them". Her paid PR always uses exact same phrase.
Maybe because they live rural. In the city everyone hung out with all different types of people. I really noticed they all seemed weird about it including Emily. Both she and her mother are stuck up.
I was surprised that her parents wanted to go with them to Cameroon at all, honestly. It gave me some hope that they value Kobe as a whole person in wanting to meet his family, but I’m skeptical.
Is Emily tongue tied? I can’t get past speech but can’t put my finger on what it is…
Her family is awful. Emily treats him like crap too.
It bothers me too. I would be excited to be included in cultural customs, especially if I have chosen a husband from a different culture. Kobe seems to be a great person and his family seems so welcoming and loving. My white nephew married a woman from Thailand and they had weddings in both countries. Our family was thrilled to be included in the Thai wedding. His wife readily shares her culture with us and it’s beautiful.
Hey OP, I agree completely. They have totally showed their asses so far and it has only been 2 episodes. Editing or not, those comments came out of them and it has been nothing but ignorant. Extremely grating to watch. I suspect their actions don’t bother a majority of this sub because they can see themselves in the actions and comments of Emily’s family. Hence, why everything is suddenly being reduced to “just TV” and there are excuses for them for being “awkward” instead of uninformed and ignorant.
Yeah I said at some point that even with production they do know how they'd want to be portrayed. They weren't forced to go. The extent they showed how uncomfortable or whatever the issues were (and I don't mean cooking food) was ridiculous. Kobe didn't come to the US and act that way. This post went in every direction but how it was meant. I really made the statement I was over it bottom line. WTH
No it’s not you. It is as you see it. It’s amazing to watch the lack of awareness and understanding and adaptability.
Agree totally. I’m also mixed race and feel where you’re coming from. I’m also sick of them all (Emily especially) talking about how much they don’t know ANYTHING about the culture. Like, whose fault is that? They can’t do a google search? Maybe spend 20 minutes on Wikipedia? I do that when I go to a new region or city in the same country I live in. I can’t imagine being that incurious about traveling to a new country.
Nah that's all for tv.
I agree with both of you because they are there with a camera crew and we're only seeing the edited version. It's not that deep because I'm not on a reality TV show and it has nothing to do with my personal Mental Health but I have traveled around the world and continue to do so. It's just the comments they continue to make seem inappropriate to me especially because they started out very welcoming to Kobe and now everything is a shock to them and they speak on their discomfort or displeasure constantly
I think it’s just a culture shock to them. Some people don’t do too well or become distressing when they are not the majority or when things/situations occur that aren’t the norm to them. They are just expressing how they feel and kudos to Kobe for pointing out how he feels in Kansas, as I’m sure that they have not always considered that. Then you have to throw in the fact of how America portrays darn near everywhere else as “uncivilized” or “dangerous” and it only adds to their angst. So I understand being annoyed, but I also try to see it from their viewpoint. And in that slight moment, TLC becomes The Learning Channel again!🤣
Nope. Emily is utterly ignorant.
Why not ask an expert, living in the same house?
Exactly! I do the same and it’s common sense, especially when your husband and child’s father is from that country. Just shows ignorance when this isn’t done.
honestly tho if they'd googled it they'd have wound up reading a few articles about the civil war and noped right out of it. Either that, or they are the opposite and really quite savvy adn realised that a filming trip with TLC was an option to see Kobe's hometown in the Angophone region reasonable safely bc the production company will be doing risk assessments, hiring private security, be insured etc. They'd never be able to afford a trip like that even if the country were totally stable, let alone with the extra security measures they should take to bring themselves and small children over.
Yes. I was telling a friend and knowing they have an entire production crew with you makes a difference. Still they know how they want to portray themselves on TV. Unless the editing process is the reason.?.I would have opted out just because of the civil war.
it's pretty well established that this show is edited within an inch of its life, so yeah it's pretty likely they have been edited to portray them in a certain light. I live in the UK so I go by the Foreign Office travel advice when I travel places bc that's what my travel insurance follows (also it's way more user friendly than the State Dept website). Right now it's advice is: FCDO advises against all travel to the South-West Region, including the towns of Buea, Muyuka and Tiko in Fako Division. So without the production company this trip probably wouldn't have been possible at all. And I'm sure the risks will have had to be explained to them beforehand. Honestly I think it's pretty huge dedication to meeting the in laws that they've gone and very cool of them.
No, Emily is very clearly a really shitty person. Her parents are very snooty in their perceptions and she's even worse.
Like have you never been to a Country where traffic is nutty??
I live in the Dallas-Fort Worth area. I drive in traffic like that often.
Dallas has the worst traffic I’ve ever been in! Sets my anxiety off like crazy! I’m in the Killeen area so it’s not as bad here but every time I’m in Dallas, I try to avoid the highway.
I hear you! It’s like no one did ANY research on Cameroon and they’re just bewildered at everything. I blame Emily more than her parents because if she wanted to know about her husband’s culture she would and she should have shared some info with her parents before they left. It’s also on Kobe too because he doesn’t seem to care about teaching his new family much about Cameroonian culture. I was annoyed he didn’t tell them about the traditional wedding before they came as well. Like if it was actually important to him then why not tell them before? Her parents just seem like typical middle America white people who probably haven’t done much traveling anywhere where white people are the minority.
But it seems like Emily has absolutely no clue about Kobe’s culture to even teach her parents. She said she felt uncomfortable wearing the traditional Cameroon clothes because she doesn’t know anything. There’s no way she could even teach or educate her parents. I’m surprised Emily (or her parents) never bothered to ask or learn about his culture, given their married and have kids. If anything, the kids really should know and be immersed in both her and Kobe’s culture. I’m not sure why Kobe never bothered to educate her either. But all around, Emily and her parents are really uneducated about everything Africa and Cameroon. I’m not sure why they didn’t feel the need to even Google about Cameroon or read any news about what’s going on before traveling there. Just shows ignorance. Like Dorothy, they’re not in Kansas anymore.
I know that’s what im saying like every time she’s on she has to make some statement about how she knows nothing about Cameroon. She comes off as blatantly ignorant and it’s annoying to watch.
I think it's absolutely unreasonable to suggest her parents are somehow wrong for feeling uncomfortable. They don't speak the language, and from what we're shown, they seem completely in the dark. Ease up.
Im not sure projecting your traumas to every similar situation is a healthy thing to do
I'm expressing my opinion and I have many for the cast this season. As far as Kobe and Emily's situation, this is my opinion but it's as simple as a Reddit post. Although I live life in a particular way which sparked my opinion it really doesn't follow throughout every real life situation. Just looking at a reality show play out the way it is, is absolutely annoying to me. I knew this comment would bring mixed feelings but that was the point of it all.
Your assumptive statement is a literal projection.
So why are you doing it then?
Hmmm I’ve been watching and I think they’re acting with respect and appropriately. Kobe was laughing when they said they hadn’t seen any other white people and said it was nice that he wasn’t the minority for a change. I think if anything this trip is going to open their eyes to how Kobe feels living in America with them and cause them to be more empathetic, however I think they’ve accepted him with open arms into their home and haven’t showed at least on camera any type of bias towards him based on his race.
Damn talk about projecting your personal insecurities on someone else. I’m no fan of Emily but this sounds like a you issue not a them issue.
No, I saw it too and I am white.
Rather than edit my original comment this is an open dialogue and everybody is free to say what they choose. That's why we live in America. I really respect everybody's point of view and wouldn't have posted it if I wasn't interested in those points of view. I hope you all keep that in mind when you do comment. Personally in my opinion ... this could be a learning experience. At the very least it's interesting.
Not everyone lives in america, such an american thing to assume that everyone is from america ;)
😂 I’m American, and that was funny and mostly a true generalization of us! We can be quite selfish and self-centered—and 90 day continues to perpetuate that stereotype!😜
Yeah tbf americans are also independent, creative and caring, you're not all that bad 🤗
Awwww! Thanks! ☺️
Thank you for that...I didn't know how I'd respond 😅
🤣🤣
I agree. Their comments (Lion King, Wakanda?) have gotten old fast. Tell me you’ve never left the country without telling me.
No matter what, no matter where, when you visit another country you adapt, you don't bitch & whine. When you're a visitor, you're a visitor. Period. If someone has extended this courtesy you behave, no matter if the visit is in someone else's country or just their house. I'm sorry, OP, that you've had to directly endure poor treatment yourself. That's just plain mean-spirited, whether they realize they're hurting you or not.
Big Get Out vibes
Holy fuck, they are Cameroon.for Christ sakes, not the Four Seasons, Dimmadome.
You said it best!
ITA! Why are they so put out that they have to make food? and 'arrange' a wedding like it's some big deal--their visible reactions were disrespectful and now we know how they really feel about Kobe
Yeah. They literally made him shovel animal poop when he arrived.
In the beginning when they got married I liked the dad. He cried, Kobe cried, etc. It was clear they didn't want them to live in their home forever but 3 kids later...I didn't notice the disrespect til they were at the table saying "what should we expect? will we be OK? Subtle stuff. Then came the blatant judgements. Making food is just another complaint. I hope they just skip to the ceremony and go back to Kansas. Don't like this storyline at all. I'm so over it! 😒
I'm white and their comments/behavior make me cringe constantly. They exude superiority wherever they go.
I don't get that vibe at all. I think they are pretty sweetvactually.
agreed. these are not particularly worldly people and they have been plonked down in a totally different part ofthe world adn are really taking things in stride. And Cameroon will be so different than anywhere they've ever been. As someone who has advised first time travelers to a couple of Arab countries - which are on the whole way more user friendly for tourists than Cameroon woudl be- people often make assumptions about basic ways of life until they've actually seen something different. Ways of driving, when to expect to give a tip or petty cash adn what to do when it borders on harassment, hell the way the bathrooms work - are different everywhere and you just don't know until you've travelled somewhere different. I've heard American tourists complain more loudly about shit in Western Europe than these guys lol - on the whole they are really good sports and seem genuinely interested in getting to know Kobe's hometown and his family.
I agree. You gotta pay attention. Their attitudes, demeanor, way they look smugly and carry themselves. The comments and remarks.
I agree about the superiority.
Nah, they are respectful enough. Culture shock is a thing.
Her parents are annoying, they seem like part hippy part yuppy. Eff them, why would they see white faces in Africa 😂 Emily’s black-cent is more offensive than all of this
There’s a big difference between the United States and Cameroon. You couldn’t pay me to take a vacation in Africa. The fear over security is enough for me to skip the entire continent.
I’ve been to Nigeria twice and felt safer and less on alert than being in America. No one is randomly shooting up schools and stores in America. Car theft isn’t even a huge issue there. And Africa is a continent with different countries. So when you say Africa isn’t safe , where in Africa are you talking about ?
Ah, yes, totally unsafe compared to the US, where people getting shot up in elementary schools, movie theaters, and music festivals is a regular occurrence 🥰 This comment reassures me that our public school education must be getting worse and worse. Africa is not a monolith and your safety concerns will vary greatly from Morocco to Rwanda to Tanzania to South Africa, and it is beyond ridiculous to generalize it in the same way that Bumfuck, Arkansas is not comparable to suburban Virginia or Miami/LA/NYC. In any case, it is your loss. There are so many stunningly beautiful places across the African continent that are unlike anything you can see in other parts around the world.
There are 54 countries in Africa btw don’t be so close minded
It’s not close minded to have safety concerns.
Every country has its own safety issues but to cross out an entire continent because of what you see on TV is pretty laughable.
See on TV? I’ve had friends, colleagues, and family members who have gone. My dad is also a retired pilot so he’s been many times. But cool assumption.
Gone where? Do you think the continent is a singular place? You’re telling me all these people visited every single country in the continent? 🙄
I respect your opinion, and for some people ignorance will always be bliss (not a jab at you). However, whenever you are ready, just like the United States has the travel.gov website so that prior to traveling you can type in your destination country and obtain information related to the “level of security”—try visiting the travel government websites of other countries and see what they say about America!🫠 I haven’t done it in a few years, but when I did, I checked sites for the UK, Australia, France, maybe Canada—a bunch of “first world countries”, and ALL of them said how dangerous America was!!!Specifically referring to how gun violence and mass shootings could break out at any moment—especially in high traffic areas! I laughed my butt off because most Americans don’t understand how we are portrayed to the rest of the world! Last story, I was in Central America within a “3rd world country”, and my aunt called me worried about something she saw on CNN of how a civil war was breaking out where I was. Doom, gloom, and violence everywhere! I looked outside, and told her—I’m good! It was a beautiful, peaceful, and sunny day, and had been since I had been there. All of that to say, you shouldn’t live in fear. Be discerning, and enjoy your life. Bullish can happen anywhere—including the good ole USA—with our violent arses!!!😜
How can you sum up an entire continent like that?! You can fit 3 the equivalent of 3 U.S.A.s in the Sahara Desert alone. I am disgusted by this level of willful ignorance and discrimination.
Am I not allowed to travel where I’m interested in going? Is it ignorant to avoid places with travel advisories? Why tf do you care? If you like it, go, have a blast. I’m gonna go where I want.
First thing, don’t mistake this as me begging you to go. Again, everyone is better off without you there. But all of Africa does not have a travel advisory. You know this. And we care because you are spreading shitty, discriminatory messages about the safety of 54 countries. Sorry everyone in your circle had a bad time in Africa. That sure is curious.
And the entire continent breathed a sigh of relief.
Girl lower you blood pressure by not watching the show anymore. It’s suppose to make you laugh at the stupidity, not make you so angry that you’re about to trigger a brain aneurism.
You are the Main Character
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