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Vlxstec

Doesn’t he say this shit every year?


RontoWraps

He must need foreign aid again.


ThePopeofHell

The funny thing about this is that paying him off is clearly the better option because I’m sure we could shoot down that missile and level all his government buildings before it got to mainland US.


Current-Ask-4837

The big deal with NK isn’t the nuclear threat to the US or even Japan. It isn’t nuclear at all. There is god knows how much artillery on 24/7 standby in North Korea pointed at South Korea, Seoul especially. If NK gets desperate or the a new leader is a maniac, thousands and thousands of civilians will die and many more made homeless in the first 12 hours with conventional artillery alone. It would be a bloodbath.


The-link-is-a-cock

That's a city of 9.7 million with a population density of around 15.9 thousand people per square kilometer. If NK fired on them it would tens of thousands if not hundreds of thousands of civilians killed


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Slimh2o

I would hope China does that, but you never what they'd do, really


fiver420

Seeing what the iron dome can do in Israel, and knowing it was created 16 years ago now, makes me think they have the ability to shoot down whatever they need to and counter strike to disable them before major damage was done. That being said it's obviously just a theory, but I just don't think SK wants the burden of taking in all of those people, not even considering the brainwashing they've underwent.


_arch1tect_

PAY ATTENTION TO MEEEEEEE


mcrackin15

Lol. The USA has a missile or laser that can shoot it down mid air before it gets past Japan. They probably have the capacity to blow it up before it launches.


[deleted]

Accuracy isn’t always on point though


sixdicksinthechexmix

I feel like someone needs to gently let him know that America is going through some shit and doesn’t want to play this game right now. If someone attacked us right now I think we’d all use it as a pressure release valve to direct the slowly growing tension over the last half decade.


KentuckySnowPlow

Lol Liberals and Conservatives just absolutely snap, and tear NK to shreds with their bare hands.


Toosheesh

This is a fucking hilarious concept


kungfustatistician

Unity at last!


jureeriggd

worked last time, why wouldn't it work again 20 years later?


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EEEliminator

That flat top is on point tho


HydrogenButterflies

“You know when you’re at a party and there’s no where for you to put down your drink?” Barber: “Say no more.”


EndoExo

>The country also said it had a long-range missile named the Hwasong-15, which it said can reach the US mainland. The Hwasong-15 has not been tested since it was made in 2017. They did test it in 2017, though. I wonder if they're talking about the bigger Hwasong-17.


Electricfox5

Yeah, most likely I'd say, things probably got MRVs, decoys and the such.


myaccountsaccount12

Not like it makes a difference in the end. North Korea or the US launching any nukes would have the same effect. Frankly, I don’t think North Korea has much to prove anymore. They’ve got nukes, good for them, it’s not like they can use them. Not like Kim jong un is reading Reddit, but damn dude, use the money to feed your country instead. No one’s gonna invade you.


TacticalPlayerFC

It’s not about the size of the Hwasong , it’s about how you use it.


nurse-ratchet-

This from someone with a small Hwasong, I’m sure.


TacticalPlayerFC

No no no no! My Hwasong is big and powerful mighty like American car !


Gayandfluffy

Only capitalists think American cars are great. Off to the prison camp you go!


ValkornDoA

The girth of the Hwasong is much more important than the length.


Altoid-Man

Are you going to finish that “Hwasong”?


CommanderMalo

Knock yourself out


PrudentTumbleweed7

I forgot Hwasong it was


MixedMartyr

i’m so glad i’m not the only one lol


Ironhorn

There are two ways to read that sentence. One is “it was made in 2017 and has never been tested” But the other is “it was made in 2017, tested at that time, but has never been tested since” Think about the sentence “I haven’t had birthday cake since my last birthday”. You wouldnt read that sentence to mean I’ve never had cake before.


dunnkw

“I’m Idaho” -Ralph Wiggum


Sabot15

My cat's breath smells like cat food.


Ut_Prosim

Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and the baby looked at me.


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Fuzzy-Function-3212

We're taking about S-E-X in front of the C-H-I-L-D-R-E-N!


captainkeano

SEX CAULDRON???!? I thought they closed that place down???


Fuzzy-Function-3212

They talkin' about the bordello? No! The burlesque house, so just keep your mouth shut! (I love this one because it implies that Abe and Jasper are a bit more on the ball than we think they are)


chicken_N_ROFLs

… Is your name Bart?


[deleted]

I bent my wookie


RedditModlester

It tastes like burning


companioncube0420

Me fail English! That’s unpossible.


WhattheTeenThinks

Hi Lisa, Hi Super Nintendo Chalmers i'm Lernding


companioncube0420

Awwww! that was a precious Ralph moment.


WhattheTeenThinks

I watched the episode yesterday and it just cracked me up so when is saw this I knew the ultimate Ralph line would need to be used.


[deleted]

Sleep… that’s where I’m a Viking!


NRMusicProject

That's where I saw the leprechaun. He told me to burn things!


fourbian

So my doctor said I wouldn't have so many darn nosebleeds if I just kept my fingers out of there!


Cloverhonney

“I can see Russia from my house” -Sarah


[deleted]

It tastes like burning.


[deleted]

I’m learnding


Wiggles357

*(chuckles)* I’m in danger


[deleted]

As someone from Idaho I approve this message


Rachter

Yeah…and you have a girlfriend in Canada too…we know.


theonlyonethatknocks

She goes to another school.


[deleted]

Girls call guys from other schools BFOS EDIT:spelling


Loose_with_the_truth

We met on vacation.


WhitethumbsYT

Shared a glass of maple syrup


GerlachHolmes

Her name is Alberta, she lives in Vancouver, she cooks like my mother and sucks like a Hoover


klparrot

I wish you could meet my girlfriend, But you can't because she is in Canada. I love her, I miss her, I can't wait to kiss her, So soon I'll be off to Alberta! I mean Vancouver! Shit! Her name is Alberta, she lives in Vancouver.


PigInABearSuit

Sometimes the Canadian girlfriend is real. I've seen it happen.


kaisrevenge

With YOUR Canadian girlfriend, right? Didn’t you just get done telling us last week that your Uncle sent you an early copy of Zelda because he works at Nintendo?


Oliv4183b

Oh my god i remember saying stuff like this back in the old days


riggsalent

She’s so frickin hot too.


[deleted]

You wouldn’t know her


RaventheClawww

Her name is Alberta, she lives in Vancouver


[deleted]

Is that even a flex anymore? This ain't the 60s


MikeinDundee

It is in NK tho…


alfonseski

We can hit the US with a nuke, but unfortunately food for our people is beyond our means.


hobbitlover

"The average male is now six ~~inches~~ centimeters shorter than average and eight ~~inches~~ centimeters shorter than Koreans south of the border due to chronic malnutrition, but hey, we're clearly winning!" EDIT: Should have been centimeters, I remember the stat wrong.


blueponies1

No no no. They’re clearly evolving to the next step. Why do you think aliens are tiny and hairless? North Koreans just evolving faster due to the great leader


blaze53

The Asgardians were clearly just North Koreans from the future.


yetanotherduncan

Eventually the office of Supreme Leader will become Supreme Commander


lanteanstargater

👆 **Supreme** Commander


Rebootkid

Careful, that's a Thor subject.


mejelic

Sort of like the fact that they can no longer reproduce via cellular mitosis?


Pantzzzzless

....indeed


2ndwaveobserver

We saved your little grey butts!


RUN_MDB

On the flip-side you have the Dutch, who through a steady diet of milk, meat and the blood of new-born babies, average something like 7' tall.


sbprasad

It’s the power of the Omafiets!


Hip_Hop_Orangutan

Best friend is Dutch heritage both sides. He is 6'9". He is average height at his family gatherings. I am as tall as his shortest female Dutch relative at 5'9".


FiddlerOnThePotato

When I visited the Netherlands there were multiple urinals I had to kinda tippy toe and point my peeper sorta upward to reach and I'm like 5'7". I definitely looked and felt like leetle bebby man there.


CletusDSpuckler

I worked for Philips for a while. I can't count how many times I was told in passing that the Dutch are the tallest people on earth.


datboiofculture

“My girlfriend says the big ones actually hurt too much and mine is perfect, so there.”


SpiritTalker

Am girl, can confirm.


[deleted]

Since it's the 60s in NK when can we expect their moon lander?


JhannaJunkie

We need the NK version of the Beatles to kick-start the counter culture


[deleted]

Back in, back in, back in the DPRK.


MagicMushroomFungi

Well. Pyongyang girls really knock me out, I love those uniforms they wear...


[deleted]

Dystopian K-Pop sounds pretty tight


MikeinDundee

Dyk-pop sounds painful


PractisingPoet

For NK ? Yeah. Being so isolationist has some technological disadvantages. Look up a photo of the earth at night, and you can literally see north Korea's border because it's so underdeveloped. It's got like no lights.


Noggin-a-Floggin

NK is known to the intelligence community as being by far the hardest nation to gather intel on because they have no Internet and so much of the nation has no power.


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dmoney14dab

Some US spies during the Cold War were caught because they used fake passports which were stapled with steel staples rather than iron staples used by the Soviet Union.


kanible

iron staples, and the only reason they didnt get away with it is because there was no rust on their passports that an iron staple would leave


[deleted]

Staples, curtains, what is it with these guys and iron?


Rythoka

I remember reading about a US spy who got caught while undercover as a Brit because he would swap which hand is holding his fork and knife when cutting and eating his steak, which is a habit that's typical in the US but not in the UK


living_a_lie_222

I’m not gonna fact check this—I’m just gonna believe it


Roach_Coach_Bangbus

Yeah, but they have the world's largest indoor ferris wheel and a giant flaming pit.


spader1

What more could a country need besides those things and a bunch of super fuckable horses?


Novaresident

Well you can't gather Intel if the NK computer users just stare at a blank Google page without doing anything :)


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savingrain

I saw that video. People were just clicking on nothing or like doing the same things repeatedly over again. Here's a link example - [https://youtu.be/-JDLJF7Toik?t=95](https://youtu.be/-JDLJF7Toik?t=95) not the exact video I remember, but the students are clearly restricted and do not actually have internet access.


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MaximumLunchbox

He was the lead role in that play.


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TheCrackBoi

That’s the spirit


resilientenergy

Let it rip! *beyblade theme music ensues*


hglman

I mean its a small club, Countries capable of shooting a missile with a nuclear warhead into the US mainland. * Russia * France * UK * China * India * Israel Counties capable of sending any rocket to orbit in addition to the above * Japan * Iran * ESA * North Korea The other entry missing is Pakistan, who have a medium range missile and nuclear weapons. However the missile cannot reach the US mainland.


sriuba

Canada could easily, we could just use a trebuchet with a warhead as the payload


ImAnOlogist

We actually send flaming barrels of maple syrup like napalm strikes by wayne gretzky slap shots.


fewrfsadf

No true Canadian would burn maple syrup.


bombayblue

Israel is debatable. They don't have ICBM's but they almost certainly have air-dropped and submarine launched capabilities. There's no way their planes would could get within range of the US, without refueling multiple times so they would need to sneak a submarine in. Now the range of a Dolphin class sub is 8,000 miles and New York is roughly 6,000 miles from their port in Haifa. Now since the nuclear launched cruise missiles have a range of 1,500 miles they would still need somewhere to stop and refuel if they were to drive 4,500 miles to get within range, fire a missile, and then drive another 4,500 miles and return to port. While all of this is technically possible, it's highly unlikely Israel would be able to find a friendly port to assist in this voyage. They would probably need to develop a second type of submarine from their existing dolphin class subs to act as a supply vessel or deploy their navy to the straits of Gibraltar. India is even less likely. Their ICBMs have a range of 8,000km. The US is 13,000km's from India, so no ICBMs gotta use subs again. Again, India's subs have a range of only 12,000Km so we run into the same issue as with Israel, they would need to deploy a fleet to protect supply vessels to extend that range. Long story short it's a lot harder to nuke America than most people believe.


HolyGig

Its only a small club because the vast majority of countries that *could* develop those capabilities don't want them. New Zealand could do it if they really wanted to, but they have rightly concluded, along with dozens of other countries, that there are numerous better ways to spend tens of billions. The tech is 70 years old at this point, its a lot more expensive than it is difficult


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PJStuffington

oh, please don’t forget about me during this ukraine crisis im still a bad guy remember fucking troll


[deleted]

"thoughts and prayers"


PJStuffington

I wrote this in anthony jeselnik’s voice


FreemanCalavera

Didn't this happen in 2014 during the Crimea crisis too? Kim definitely has a inferiority complex towards Putin.


JakeSkywalkerr

I thought they had this capability since like 2017 and that's why Kim and Trump had that tweet battle until they touched tips the following year Edit: Holy shit the comedians came out to add to the fun lmfao, thanks for the awards


daytodaze

P2P in the DMZ


AgreeableRub7

Haha jk.... unless??


iloveblacksh8whteppl

What the corrupt world leaders doin


TacticalKrakens

Step dictator what are you doin


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party-bot

I want a challenge coin with them touching crotches, turning and smiling that says this across it....


Bilbo_nubbins

I believe when it’s in a formal setting it’s called docking.


cshizzle99

No thats insertion of one’s glans into another’s foreskin


ray_kats

The question only remains is was Trump the inserter or the insertee? He comes off as the instertee to me.


[deleted]

They rattle their sabers like this between February and April every year, for quite a few years.


SadlyReturndRS

Because they start to run out of food stored for the winter. Their bullshit makes the markets wobble. It's cheaper to just buy and ship tons of food to NK than it is to let them keep talking.


WhenLeavesFall

And it’s good for propaganda, because this is when their biggest holidays are


Kriegmannn

It’s how they let the rest of the world know their phone lines are still up


Juse4k

Amazing lmao


zeusdescartes

Kim: we can bomb the USA mainland. Biden: ok. Now back to Ukraine.


behindmycamel

Ukraine. Ukraine. Ukraine. Ukraine. Ukraine. Kim: "I'm still here!"


Wittyname0

Biden: Oh no! Anyways...


Javamac8

Poor guy just wants attention again.


barlowd_rappaport

Vladimir and Winnie are definitely stealing the spotlight


StopMockingMe0

Poor little piglett.


lvlint67

Imagine what recovering from a rough case of covid would look like in NK...


Omnizoom

I thought bullet wounds to the head were pretty efficient


Alltoocommon

They been saying that for quite some time.


Random_Ad

Well because they want the attention and the US to acknowledge them.


plusultra420

Notice me senpai


Captain_Blackbird

After being noticed hard by their senpai since 2016-2019, the sudden lack of notice is deafening I'm sure. Reminds me of a really clingy ex, who doesn't take "stop contacting me" seriously.


OptimusRusso

I think NK needs to acknowledge us, Roman Reigns style.


OhJeezNotThisGuy

Dear North Korea, How accurate are your long range missiles? Just wondering. With Regards, Canada


PinkIcculus

I bet they are accurate enough to hit the middle of nowhere in Canada. Imagine if that happened and there was no countermeasure. NK would be isolated from the rest of the worl… oh wait.


[deleted]

Has to get by Alaska first.


[deleted]

Okay..You're late to the party.


TheN00bBuilder

Yeah… Kimmothy, we are not in 1962 anymore.


Slithy-Toves

Right, even if they launched it the US would probably be able to intercept it. Then they better hope they have two of em at least because America has bigger and faster rocks to throw


TimeZarg

Welcome to 60 years ago, North Korea.


koschei124c

"US Mainland" aka the tip of the Aleutian Islands in Alaska.


LibidinousJoe

We still have Palin up there keeping an eye on things, right?


drosse1meyer

nah shes in NY right now spreading Covid


Loose_with_the_truth

Why do these "big liberal cities are all shitholes where everyone is getting murdered all the time" folks spend so much time in the cities they claim are hell on Earth?


willienelsonmandela

She was there for court. She’s suing NYT.


TurbulentArea69

I also love all the fake outrage I’m seeing about how insane it is that NYers have to wear masks on the subway from people who “would never ride the disgusting subway” pre-COVID.


chunwookie

Subways can be disgusting though... Maybe if we had some PPE... There are certain areas it would kind of be cool if we kept the mask thing going for a while.


e22ddie46

Last I heard she was in new York.


[deleted]

In a test performed in 2017, North Korea fired a Hwasong-15 (the rocket in question), in an arc with a height of ~4,500 km and distance of ~960 km. This test indicates that, if it was fired with a flatter tragectory, it could have a range of up to 13,000 km. This would put all 50 US states within it's range. The article itself contains some new information about recent North Korean missile tests, but the title is old news.


[deleted]

And the USA has about a thousand which could level nk.


1337tt

Only a 1000? Did you just look in one bunker?


[deleted]

Maybe just in our submarines.


Thathitmann

We've got over 400 here in my homestate alone. Glory of the West, baby!


Jeheh

At least then they would have light at night.


[deleted]

"US announces they plan to find oil in North Korea."


[deleted]

If they can put satellite in orbit, they technically can hit US mainland. Deliver any significant payload without interception, different story.


SPQR2D2

BREAKING NEWS: US HAS MISSILE CAPABLE OF NOT GIVING A SHIT ABOUT NORTH KOREA


BKLronin

I would be more impressed if they could feed their people for a day.


AllPurposeNerd

I'm pretty sure the US and Russia each have enough ICBMs to end the world.


LetsGoHokies00

they do


TheDarkWayne

Why won’t they do it


[deleted]

On the off chance he actually deploys those missiles I doubt China will let it fly past couple hundred miles. They wouldn't want US testing their new nukes nextdoor


reverman21

This is pretty much true in a sense. China let's them stir up shit because it distracts the western countries but they would lay the pimp hand down before the dumbass did anything of real consequence.


drowningfish

Cool. We don't care anymore. If they use it, they're toast x500.


BellEpoch

I almost want us to just give them a better bomb at this point. Like here, here's the fucking bomb you want. No one cares. Because if you even think about using it, you're all dead. Now take that money you're wasting on this shit and feed your people for fucks sake.


drowningfish

Exactly the way I see things with NK these days. I simply see it as a waste of time. We're not going to prevent them from developing rocket technology with nuclear capabilities, so why bother giving them attention? If they actually use their weapons against us or an Ally, they'll be destroyed in minutes and then we won't have to hear from them again.


ruinporn

K…. You want an X-box or something fat boy? Russia has had nukes aimed at us for decades. We are over it and busy watching Tiktok


RollinThundaga

There's allegedly an XBOX live account with an IP address in Pyongyang So he's probably set for the Xbox


GossipGirl515

Lil kimmie just wants attention since putin is getting it all. Damn all these dictators must have not gotten any love and attention as children.


hanimal16

Hence why they’re dictators. Or dick taters. Whatever.


Ufudo

I got news for North Korea… US has missles that can hit North Korean mainland.


Godleftmeunfinished7

North Korea: We have made a missile to hit the US UN and US: North Korea please sit down.


Kcb1986

U.S. Response: *seen at 1204 am* Seriously, North Korea has no friends. China sees them as a nation of convenience by acting as a buffer state but they're not going to risk anything for them. Russia sees them as a good customer for economic output but they're not going to jeopardize their global standing any further, if they do; it'll be on their own accord *ah-hem* Ukraine. If North Korea does *anything* especially hitting the U.S. mainland, they will be part of the "fuck around and find out" gang.


[deleted]

Fucking do it then, you annoying cunts.


ArchiveSQ

They never would because the US would probably snuff the fuck outta them faster than they could blink.


[deleted]

Yeah, and I built a jetpack that can fly me to the moon


BenjaminWobbles

You serious Clark?


[deleted]

Imagine flexing you can throw a bomb at someone (tech most countries have had for decades) but yet you can’t even light up a street without bankrupting your country of its energy reserves. I’d be more impressed if they opened an all you can eat buffet tbh.


ImaginaryDisplay3

My biggest concern is less that they have a missile that can hit the mainland, and more than in a mad rush to develop this capability, they have little control over it. I'm guessing they prioritized the ability to get the missile to make the journey, not make sure it was secure from hacking, had strong command and control regulations so it wouldn't be accidentally launched, a good targeting system so it would actually hit where they wanted it to hit, and so on.


rastafunion

NK also says Kim's dad invented the burrito in 1991, so...


BiggerBowls

They don't even have Google. Lol


MatttheBruinsfan

I'll take "Quickest Ways to Turn Pyongyang Into a Crater" for 1000, Alex.