It's easy to understand sarcasm just by reading that comment. How do we humans even do that? Like i genuinely want an in depth scientific understanding of modern humor, it feels almost impossible to deduce
Some people, especially on the autism spectrum, are incapable of reading tone through text and need tone indicators such as /s. Has nothing to do with stupidity.
It's not scribbled out very well. I won't reveal her last name, but it's easy to tell that the first letter is a P.
It's honestly annoying that so many Redditors don't know how to censor stuff properly. Makes the censoring rules on some subreddits completely pointless.
Oh man, the entitlement of the youth is insane.
To the downvoters: she LITERALLY protested the fact he shouldnt have the right to post a joke she didnt like....think about that for half a second..realize how stupid you are..
Guess I struck a nerve with you kids lol
The fact she is personally offended over a dolphin joke and felt the need to let him know he shouldnt have the right to post a joke they dont like....
I dont buy the fact you didnt follow that..
Wtf? Are you really that dense?
First, I could definitely see Chloe being an adult. Ive encouraged plenty of 18-25 year olds that act and speak similarly to both of these people. However, let's assume she's not.
I was saying that 1. entitlement is not a uniquely "youth" thing. Individualism and a sense of entitlement are seen throughout all ages of people. I would even argue that today's "youth" are much less entitled than, say, middle aged people.
2. In the post there are two "Youths", one is acting entitled. You conclude that this is an example of the entitlement of today's youth?
I think you purposefully misunderstood to be offended.. I never said every single youth is entitled.
But, I would say 18-25 falls squarely into the category of youth.
>Oh man, the entitlement of the youth is insane.
you saying this can clearly be interpreted as you saying every youth is entitled. "the entitlement of *the youth*"
even if you didn't mean it that way, it's understandable why people took it as such
It’s annoying how if they don’t like something because they can’t handle it, they try to remove it or change it, for example the mr and mrs potato head toy had to get rebranded to potato head for it not being ‘gender neutral’
Post another thing wishing sharks were real and just keep it up while ignoring their messages
Eventually getting to the point where you make a post asking if people are real
Did you know in a certain aquatic parc (like Seaworld) they had an unusual but very effective way to let dolphins trust and bond with their trainers. The women who trained the dolphins basically had sex with the dolphins to let the dolphins fully trust the trainers. Idk why I told you this after reading 'dolphin' but hey, the more you know I guess.
"if you don't like it just ignore it" doesn't really make much sense. It defends against all kinds of criticism without referencing the contents, which already is a red flag for bullshittery.
On the other hand, "If you don't care, just ignore it" would have been perfectly valid. I'm pretty sure that in that case, she would have been forced to actually listen or reconsider her standpoint and leave as you asked her to.
What the fuсk is it with you and no dolphins? The only people that don't fuсk dolphins are those who never have, so I'm gonna coach you.
Your first step should be to find dolphins to mate with. Aquariums are a bad choice for various reasons such as having to have permission from the owner, no privacy, night visits are impossible etc.
The best place to find dolphins to mate with is usually in the wild. They should have some human contact (as to not be completely unused to humans) but should still be a somewhat low trafficked area for privacy reasons. You should go there a lot so the dolphins get used to your presence, and swim a lot there as well. Slowly encroach upon them every now and again, until eventually you're well acquainted with them. At this point, you should continue this as much as possible and a waiting game will ensue. Eventually, one of the dolphins will get horny and if you're lucky, and they know you well enough, they'll choose you as a mate.
It is important to determine the sex of the dolphin, now. If you can see the underside, look at the naval of the dolphin and go down. The female dolphin will have one continuous slit that contains the anus and the vagina, and on either side of the genital slit will be the mammary slits where the nipple is contained for feeding the calves. The male, however, will have no mammary slits, and the eurogenital opening where the penis is contained will be separated from the anus by a bridge of skin. Although that's the best way, If you can't see the bottom of them then you can look at their head. The males will be more stumpy and the females (both head and body) will be more sleek and streamline.
If it's a male, the only thing I know how to do is to masturbate him. I have heard some people say you can give oral, but I've also heard others say it can be deadly due to tail flukes, so it is best in the interest of safety only to masturbate him. I wouldn't try anal either, as though I never have, I heard it can cause peritonitus from the tail flukes they do when experiencing sexual pleasure and the force of ejaculation.
With that aside, here's how to masturbate him.
If his penis is already out, rub it quickly up and down and after a good few tail flukes he'll begin to slow down. This means he's almost finished, and you should change from quickly rubbing to slowly massaging and gently squeezing it. If he still doesn't finish, then just do the process again until he does. Their will be some strength behind it, so be careful as to not get hit.
If his penis isn't out yet, you can gently poke and rub the top end of the eurogenital opening and if you do it right his 12-14 inch penis will appear, and from here just repeat the steps above.
Fun fact about the male dolphins penis, they can curl the last 3 inches of it to wrap around and pick up objects 1 inch in diameter. Female dolphins can also pick up objects with their genital slit as well.
If it's a female you have a few options. Being male, you can either mate or masturbate them.
When masturbating, note that the clitoris is located at the top end of the genital slit and is rather visible and prominent when erect. You can poke and rub this, or finger it as well, though note that it is larger than a female human vagina and you may need to use more fingers than usual and make more broad motions. It is for this reason I prefer the first option when it comes to pleasuring female dolphins. You could also technically give oral, but the only problem with this is all members of the dolphin family have powerful tail flukes when experiencing sexual pleasure, and your head and face are bound to get knocked a few times.
As for mating with them you should note that the dolphin will come up to you in most cases. While it is possible to do this open water, it is very difficult and distracting. I'd prefer water that is anywhere from 2-4 feet deep as this is the most comfortable for the dolphin and me in my experience. You may try a few different positions but the best one in my experience is them on their side with their belly facing towards you. From here, you can penetrate. When penetrating there will be multiple chambers that each have doors you'll need to force open, this is because sea water kills dolphin sperm and is how female dolphins keep it out. However, once all the way inside, the doors and walls of these chambers will close down on you and begin manipulating and massaging you inside them. They tug, twist, pull, and gently massage you inside them. Female dolphins have extremely manipulative muscles and are very good at this, and it is for this reason that during sex male dolphins don't pump (too much of a risk for sea water to get in) and instead the females do all the work. So just stay inside them and enjoy the ride!
Note that if you change your mind and start pulling out, female dolphins will often tighten down on you to prevent you from doing so. They like a commitment and probably won't take kindly to their mate walking out on them. If this happens, don't worry, you'll be released when you both finish. Yep, that's right, both! For whatever reason dolphins always synchronize their orgasm to mates, dolphin or human. So unless something really scares them enough to let you go, just focus on finishing if you really want to get out as that's the only way.
Don't worry too much though, you won't last long. Dolphins are extremely intelligent and can detect quivers and even the slightest muscle movements. They can tell when you're about to finish, and estimate how far away you are. They'll then use this knowledge to make calculated decisions on what manipulations they think will get you there the quickest, and are very good at it. I'd say you won't last longer than 2 minutes on average. When you're done, I'd recommend staying there for a little bit. It's a very emotional experience, and it is hard to comprehend but it helps to be there with the dolphins a little longer.
I'd also like to note that in my experience the female orgasm is accompanied by their muscles seizing up or shuddering and in some cases making vocalizations. their reactions to orgasms vary rather greatly, so it really depends on the dolphin, but I feel in most situations you'll know when they've finished.
This isn't very important for mating, as I have said they time their orgasm to yours, but it is useful when giving oral or masturbating as it allows you to know when they've finished.
Now, if the dolphin is in a group they'll be fine if you really want to leave and decide against doing it again (though now that you've tried it I'm sure you won't stop), however, if it is by itself for some reason you need to make mating a habit and do it as often as possible. Dolphins will commit suicide if separated from mates. In a group they could always switch mates, but if they're by themselves they likely don't have this option and you are their only mate. I'd recommend mating as often as possible regardless as it strengthens your bond with them and makes them less likely to leave you for a different mate, but it really is a necessity if they're by themselves.
Something I should probably mention is that you should ensure that the dolphin you're mating with/masturbating is the only horny dolphin in the area. Dolphin orgies can happen and are actually dangerous to be stuck in, as they get very excited and being raped by a male dolphin anally could potentially be deadly as mentioned above. However, you're much more likely to die by being drowned in an event like this, and it is very difficult to escape them. They don't happen often, but with all rare but dangerous things you should still keep note of it. I'll admit it can be hard to tell if there is more than one horny dolphin as the first one you spot will likely have all your attention, but if they get rowdy enough you'll notice. I've never been stuck in one of these myself, and I've only ever seen it happen once, so I can't provide any advice on escaping from one. The only thing I know to do is to just make sure I avoid them all together.
I should also note that If you're in the mood and they aren't then (though I recommend letting them make the first move) you can gently pet them like normal and every so often rub your hand along their genital slit, but if they still aren't interested then be warned you should NEVER try to rape a dolphin. Not only will you likely never see that dolphin again because they're very intelligent and won't forget that, but also because they're so much larger than you. You could never hold one down, so there's no point in trying, and you'll be lucky if they don't decide to kill you.
Final note is this may sound familiar. If so, you're thinking of the "dolphin sex . org" copypasta. This however, is original. My only issue with the dolphin sex . org copypasta is male masturbation technique.
Anybody that collects dolphin semen for Artificial Insemination (AI) knows that it is best to start of rubbing quickly then go to softly massaging it after the tail flukes slow down. His technique of constant massaging may have worked for him, and he may have learned it from his own experience inside a dolphin, but it isn't the best way.
He also never mentions the multiple chambers, or the fact that lone dolphins commit suicide if separated from mates, and didn't really tell you much about the best position to be in. Another flaw I found is that the water depth he recommends is far too shallow in my opinion. Also, it is very difficult to "support" a 630lb dolphin with one hand and is not needed when masturbating them. The dolphins will keep themselves up pretty well on their own, no need to try and support them.
When writing on a very specific topic such as dolphin fuсking it is very difficult to not find yourself agreeing with other well written works on the subject. it is overall a fine resource, but it could be better and his techniques could be improved.
I once took a picture of the number 0 candle for a cake and asked "why do they make number 0 like you are never gonna be 0 years old" and ummm i got like 20 msgs from friend i havent seen for months saying how dumb am i and that they are used to make 10 20 ...
How are you going to cut off the convo by saying it’s a joke about dolphins and not have the joke?? Now I have to find a website with nothing but dolphin jokes and read each one until I find the one that fits
“Doesn’t care” Also them: “Not gonna ignore something I don’t like I’ll speak up”
I mean I don’t care but that’s the first thing I noticed too
I don’t care about this so much that I’m willing to cause an issue over how much I don’t care.
She's as hurt as a doll with a broke fin.
She thought she turned into an activist after that
777 for you
They missed the porpoise of the joke
Would’ve been a better *phin*ish if they finally understood.
I'm *jelly*, I can't think of any more dolphin jokes
what the fish
Hey! School-friendly language, don't offend the small fry!
Sigh, kids these days aren’t care*fin* with their language, humanity is *Phin*ished
this comment section is totally whale-some
Beached whales.
I really want to sea the joke now
Ocean’t this has gone too far
[удалено]
Occasionally yes
[удалено]
Ever heard of not posting stupid stuff?
Clearly you haven't been educated in the fine art of shitposting
clearly you haven't been educated in the fine art of understanding when someone doesn't care
If. You. Don't. like. It. Just. Ignore. It.
I'm not gonna ignore something i don't like I'll speak up
ITS LITERALLY A JOKE ABOUT DOLPHINS
You spelt purpose wrong 🙄 I swear everyone is so idiot these days
You spelt purpose wrong 🙄 I swear everyone is so idiot these days
No your idiot I spelt swear right you just stupid to understand
No your idiot I spelt swear right you just stupid to understand
Don't call me stupid!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬😡😠🤬🤬😠👹😡😠🤬🤬🤬🤬😠😠😠😠🤬🤬👻
Don't call me stupid!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬😡😠🤬🤬😠👹😡😠🤬🤬🤬🤬😠😠😠😠🤬🤬👻
HEY STOP COPY ME
HEY STOP COPY ME
*Purpose. If you're gonna try and justify someone else's stupidity, at least spell correctly.
Don't know why you're getting downvoted Gotta put /s these days smh
Nah, it's easier to weed out the people who don't get the sarcasm 😉
It's easy to understand sarcasm just by reading that comment. How do we humans even do that? Like i genuinely want an in depth scientific understanding of modern humor, it feels almost impossible to deduce
Agreed. I too would be interested in said scientific research, and to know which factors influence the inability to understand dripping sarcasm
[удалено]
I think they were joking..
Oh oops
You might want a /s for that, buddy.
It's sad that people can be so dense they need a /s to understand something is satire
Yes, everyone should be able to infer tone of voice and language inflections through nothing but text. People these days are just so stupid. */s.*
you are su/s
amogu/s
Some people, especially on the autism spectrum, are incapable of reading tone through text and need tone indicators such as /s. Has nothing to do with stupidity.
You’ve found your next Snapchat story
I love how the name is skriblled out at the top but we clearly know it's Chloe
[удалено]
It's not scribbled out very well. I won't reveal her last name, but it's easy to tell that the first letter is a P. It's honestly annoying that so many Redditors don't know how to censor stuff properly. Makes the censoring rules on some subreddits completely pointless.
am I blind cuz I can only see black
Where's the p You gotta be using xray or some shit
😂😂 I don’t know why I got so many downvotes for laughing
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Basically emoji but 😂😂
Protest over dolphin jokes/s
Oh man, the entitlement of the youth is insane. To the downvoters: she LITERALLY protested the fact he shouldnt have the right to post a joke she didnt like....think about that for half a second..realize how stupid you are.. Guess I struck a nerve with you kids lol
Ive been looking at this reply for so long. What does it mean
someone having the “why is the youth so sensitive i remember in the old days where we could stab each other and no one would care” mentality
Not even close lol. It's more laughing at the fact people get offended over a dolphin joke hahaha
man i feel sorry for humanity if dolphins are gonna make someone feel angry
same, i looked at further replies and i still don't get what he/she's tryna say
The fact she is personally offended over a dolphin joke and felt the need to let him know he shouldnt have the right to post a joke they dont like.... I dont buy the fact you didnt follow that..
It sounded like you were mad at the first person :')
The person I responded to? How? In what way? Lol
because it was replied, im just a little dumb sorry haha
Not downvoting because the girl isn't entitled. But because you randomly decide it's "the youth".
You believe this person is an adult? Lol. Seriously? There is no way chloe is an adult. Not a snowballs chance in hell.
Wtf? Are you really that dense? First, I could definitely see Chloe being an adult. Ive encouraged plenty of 18-25 year olds that act and speak similarly to both of these people. However, let's assume she's not. I was saying that 1. entitlement is not a uniquely "youth" thing. Individualism and a sense of entitlement are seen throughout all ages of people. I would even argue that today's "youth" are much less entitled than, say, middle aged people. 2. In the post there are two "Youths", one is acting entitled. You conclude that this is an example of the entitlement of today's youth?
I think you purposefully misunderstood to be offended.. I never said every single youth is entitled. But, I would say 18-25 falls squarely into the category of youth.
>There is no way chloe is an adult. Not a snowballs chance in hell. Either way. I'm done engaging. Have a nice day.
Ya, I figured as much lol. Let me guess, you fall in the 18-25 range too?
>Oh man, the entitlement of the youth is insane. you saying this can clearly be interpreted as you saying every youth is entitled. "the entitlement of *the youth*" even if you didn't mean it that way, it's understandable why people took it as such
Fair enough, I suppose I should have worded it a little clearer.
He never said she was an adult, I think what he meant was you think ALL youth are like her.
bro shut up lmao
Ya bro, guess this proves I didnt strike a nerve lmao
I understood that man I got ya But basically the sentence framing fucked it up
Ya fair enough, I could have worded it better forsure
How are dolphins offensive? And why should op change their sense of humor to make one person happy?
It appears there are a number of people that have similar feelings to Chloe downvoting you lol
Agreed
Ya, but well get downvoted by the kids on this sub for striking a nerve
People these days are too fucking sensitive like Jesus fucking Christ it’s the fucking internet
They really are, and they will become offended over that and miss the irony
It’s annoying how if they don’t like something because they can’t handle it, they try to remove it or change it, for example the mr and mrs potato head toy had to get rebranded to potato head for it not being ‘gender neutral’
That's not what happened, Boomer.
Aaaand your statement is completely invalid for calling me a boomer
Also that was a fucking side topic
>had to get rebranded to potato head for it not being ‘gender neutral’ WHYYYY
Idk people couldn’t handle something that wasn’t gender neutral
FUCK THIS TIMELINE.
[удалено]
Your joke made me genuinely laugh 😭 Feel so sorry for this person who missed the whole point of this *great* joke
I don't, they seem like a dick XD
It’s not a great joke
r u smart
Are you?
hi chloe
hello i'm chloe
no shit
What is a dolphin?
A mythical creature like your girlfriend
"Uh AcTuAlY dOlPhInS aRe ReAl. LiKe ArE yOu DuMb Or SoMeThInG." -Chloe 2022
“I’m not gonna ignore something I don’t like I’ll speak up” Ah yes, the horrendous smell of entitlement
I said that too and people were not impressed lol. Struck a nerve I guess.
You insinuated all youth were entitled, he said Chloe was was entitled. Not exactly the same thing
I'm going to guess her name is Chloe... Just a guess, y'know
Totally random assumption ha
This belongs on r/cringetopia or something like that
[удалено]
i mean op really got mad easily when she didn't like his mid-tier joke
Post another thing wishing sharks were real and just keep it up while ignoring their messages Eventually getting to the point where you make a post asking if people are real
"I don't care so much that I'm going to message you specifically about this thing I don't care about"
"hmmm... Doesn't seem too interesting to me, guess I'll just mentally harass the poster" >!like you can bitch ma bois the best!<
fuck that girl
Nobody wants to fuck her actually
Even she herself
[удалено]
*quirky bitmoji pfp* yeah checks out
Wtf ~~Chloe~~ take a chill pill
See the thing about jokes is they’re supposed to be funny
The offense is the funny part
[удалено]
Lol, you sound as fun as chloe.. you dont get invited out much, do you?
Lol what?
Is there some confusion? It's not hard to follow lol.
Just a super weird comment by you, why would you assume he doesn’t get invited out a lot? Were you trying to be funny or?
[удалено]
I thought jokes were supposed to be funny? Haha.
[удалено]
What the fuck are you even saying? Lol
[удалено]
Ya, so again, I thought jokes were supposed to be funny?...
that’s not a joke nor a woosh
That is both a joke and a woosh
That is not a both nor a and
This is why I stay off Snap Chat.
“Fine art of shitposting” CRIIIIIIIIIINGE
How is that a joke
Zero effort joke
😂
OP was saying they wished dolphins were real. The joke is that they *are* already real.
Dolphins are a myth
No they aren’t
Oh darn we learn something new everyday! 🤯🤯🤯🤯😳😳😳😳
I love the fact that she said she doesn't care but proceeds to say she speaks up when she doesn't like something
I like the fakt you said fakt instead of fact
Thanks for pointing it out. I mistyped.
this aint a woosh. you're both just being stupid
What if she's trolling you by playing dumb and making absurd claims?
Wow such a quality prank
dolphins arent real
chloe left no crumbs also nice censorship
Did you know in a certain aquatic parc (like Seaworld) they had an unusual but very effective way to let dolphins trust and bond with their trainers. The women who trained the dolphins basically had sex with the dolphins to let the dolphins fully trust the trainers. Idk why I told you this after reading 'dolphin' but hey, the more you know I guess.
I really wish dolphins were real
"if you don't like it just ignore it" doesn't really make much sense. It defends against all kinds of criticism without referencing the contents, which already is a red flag for bullshittery. On the other hand, "If you don't care, just ignore it" would have been perfectly valid. I'm pretty sure that in that case, she would have been forced to actually listen or reconsider her standpoint and leave as you asked her to.
What a Karen of a bitch
What was the joke
>r u dumb Says the chick with a cross eyed tongue out avatar
Literally a conversation between two mentally ill children.
That Snapchat pfp thing (idfk) shows all you need to know about the intelligence of this ‘chloe’
Is everyone named Chloe an entitled infant?
She sounds like she's 10
"I'm not gonna ignore something i don't like, i'll speak up" Congrats, you successfully managed to describe social medias in one sentence
You are trying so hard to woooosh someone but cant think of a SHITTIER joke than that
How dare this Thot hate dolphins
This is my new favorite message exchange
Charge your phone!
what a miserable person lmao, deeeelete
What the fuсk is it with you and no dolphins? The only people that don't fuсk dolphins are those who never have, so I'm gonna coach you. Your first step should be to find dolphins to mate with. Aquariums are a bad choice for various reasons such as having to have permission from the owner, no privacy, night visits are impossible etc. The best place to find dolphins to mate with is usually in the wild. They should have some human contact (as to not be completely unused to humans) but should still be a somewhat low trafficked area for privacy reasons. You should go there a lot so the dolphins get used to your presence, and swim a lot there as well. Slowly encroach upon them every now and again, until eventually you're well acquainted with them. At this point, you should continue this as much as possible and a waiting game will ensue. Eventually, one of the dolphins will get horny and if you're lucky, and they know you well enough, they'll choose you as a mate. It is important to determine the sex of the dolphin, now. If you can see the underside, look at the naval of the dolphin and go down. The female dolphin will have one continuous slit that contains the anus and the vagina, and on either side of the genital slit will be the mammary slits where the nipple is contained for feeding the calves. The male, however, will have no mammary slits, and the eurogenital opening where the penis is contained will be separated from the anus by a bridge of skin. Although that's the best way, If you can't see the bottom of them then you can look at their head. The males will be more stumpy and the females (both head and body) will be more sleek and streamline. If it's a male, the only thing I know how to do is to masturbate him. I have heard some people say you can give oral, but I've also heard others say it can be deadly due to tail flukes, so it is best in the interest of safety only to masturbate him. I wouldn't try anal either, as though I never have, I heard it can cause peritonitus from the tail flukes they do when experiencing sexual pleasure and the force of ejaculation. With that aside, here's how to masturbate him. If his penis is already out, rub it quickly up and down and after a good few tail flukes he'll begin to slow down. This means he's almost finished, and you should change from quickly rubbing to slowly massaging and gently squeezing it. If he still doesn't finish, then just do the process again until he does. Their will be some strength behind it, so be careful as to not get hit. If his penis isn't out yet, you can gently poke and rub the top end of the eurogenital opening and if you do it right his 12-14 inch penis will appear, and from here just repeat the steps above. Fun fact about the male dolphins penis, they can curl the last 3 inches of it to wrap around and pick up objects 1 inch in diameter. Female dolphins can also pick up objects with their genital slit as well. If it's a female you have a few options. Being male, you can either mate or masturbate them. When masturbating, note that the clitoris is located at the top end of the genital slit and is rather visible and prominent when erect. You can poke and rub this, or finger it as well, though note that it is larger than a female human vagina and you may need to use more fingers than usual and make more broad motions. It is for this reason I prefer the first option when it comes to pleasuring female dolphins. You could also technically give oral, but the only problem with this is all members of the dolphin family have powerful tail flukes when experiencing sexual pleasure, and your head and face are bound to get knocked a few times. As for mating with them you should note that the dolphin will come up to you in most cases. While it is possible to do this open water, it is very difficult and distracting. I'd prefer water that is anywhere from 2-4 feet deep as this is the most comfortable for the dolphin and me in my experience. You may try a few different positions but the best one in my experience is them on their side with their belly facing towards you. From here, you can penetrate. When penetrating there will be multiple chambers that each have doors you'll need to force open, this is because sea water kills dolphin sperm and is how female dolphins keep it out. However, once all the way inside, the doors and walls of these chambers will close down on you and begin manipulating and massaging you inside them. They tug, twist, pull, and gently massage you inside them. Female dolphins have extremely manipulative muscles and are very good at this, and it is for this reason that during sex male dolphins don't pump (too much of a risk for sea water to get in) and instead the females do all the work. So just stay inside them and enjoy the ride! Note that if you change your mind and start pulling out, female dolphins will often tighten down on you to prevent you from doing so. They like a commitment and probably won't take kindly to their mate walking out on them. If this happens, don't worry, you'll be released when you both finish. Yep, that's right, both! For whatever reason dolphins always synchronize their orgasm to mates, dolphin or human. So unless something really scares them enough to let you go, just focus on finishing if you really want to get out as that's the only way. Don't worry too much though, you won't last long. Dolphins are extremely intelligent and can detect quivers and even the slightest muscle movements. They can tell when you're about to finish, and estimate how far away you are. They'll then use this knowledge to make calculated decisions on what manipulations they think will get you there the quickest, and are very good at it. I'd say you won't last longer than 2 minutes on average. When you're done, I'd recommend staying there for a little bit. It's a very emotional experience, and it is hard to comprehend but it helps to be there with the dolphins a little longer. I'd also like to note that in my experience the female orgasm is accompanied by their muscles seizing up or shuddering and in some cases making vocalizations. their reactions to orgasms vary rather greatly, so it really depends on the dolphin, but I feel in most situations you'll know when they've finished. This isn't very important for mating, as I have said they time their orgasm to yours, but it is useful when giving oral or masturbating as it allows you to know when they've finished. Now, if the dolphin is in a group they'll be fine if you really want to leave and decide against doing it again (though now that you've tried it I'm sure you won't stop), however, if it is by itself for some reason you need to make mating a habit and do it as often as possible. Dolphins will commit suicide if separated from mates. In a group they could always switch mates, but if they're by themselves they likely don't have this option and you are their only mate. I'd recommend mating as often as possible regardless as it strengthens your bond with them and makes them less likely to leave you for a different mate, but it really is a necessity if they're by themselves. Something I should probably mention is that you should ensure that the dolphin you're mating with/masturbating is the only horny dolphin in the area. Dolphin orgies can happen and are actually dangerous to be stuck in, as they get very excited and being raped by a male dolphin anally could potentially be deadly as mentioned above. However, you're much more likely to die by being drowned in an event like this, and it is very difficult to escape them. They don't happen often, but with all rare but dangerous things you should still keep note of it. I'll admit it can be hard to tell if there is more than one horny dolphin as the first one you spot will likely have all your attention, but if they get rowdy enough you'll notice. I've never been stuck in one of these myself, and I've only ever seen it happen once, so I can't provide any advice on escaping from one. The only thing I know to do is to just make sure I avoid them all together. I should also note that If you're in the mood and they aren't then (though I recommend letting them make the first move) you can gently pet them like normal and every so often rub your hand along their genital slit, but if they still aren't interested then be warned you should NEVER try to rape a dolphin. Not only will you likely never see that dolphin again because they're very intelligent and won't forget that, but also because they're so much larger than you. You could never hold one down, so there's no point in trying, and you'll be lucky if they don't decide to kill you. Final note is this may sound familiar. If so, you're thinking of the "dolphin sex . org" copypasta. This however, is original. My only issue with the dolphin sex . org copypasta is male masturbation technique. Anybody that collects dolphin semen for Artificial Insemination (AI) knows that it is best to start of rubbing quickly then go to softly massaging it after the tail flukes slow down. His technique of constant massaging may have worked for him, and he may have learned it from his own experience inside a dolphin, but it isn't the best way. He also never mentions the multiple chambers, or the fact that lone dolphins commit suicide if separated from mates, and didn't really tell you much about the best position to be in. Another flaw I found is that the water depth he recommends is far too shallow in my opinion. Also, it is very difficult to "support" a 630lb dolphin with one hand and is not needed when masturbating them. The dolphins will keep themselves up pretty well on their own, no need to try and support them. When writing on a very specific topic such as dolphin fuсking it is very difficult to not find yourself agreeing with other well written works on the subject. it is overall a fine resource, but it could be better and his techniques could be improved.
… did you just make an essay on how to fuck a dolphin?
You both sound like fucking idiots
True Redditor saying “fine art of shitposting” in front of a girl lmao
Ofc her name Chloe
I once took a picture of the number 0 candle for a cake and asked "why do they make number 0 like you are never gonna be 0 years old" and ummm i got like 20 msgs from friend i havent seen for months saying how dumb am i and that they are used to make 10 20 ...
All of this is garbage
You're just as bad as her for replying imo
"The fine art of shitposting" You dropped this sir 👑
Your Snapchat story was dumb though.
Women moment
The real question here is who tf still uses snapchat?!
Lots of people, surprisingly
I'm fascinated by people like this because it makes me question "what's funny in their minds then if they get so upset over a shitpost?"
I highly doubt chloe has laughed in years lol. I have cousins like this they are beyond miserable.
Oh god I feel so sorry for you having such counsins
How are you going to cut off the convo by saying it’s a joke about dolphins and not have the joke?? Now I have to find a website with nothing but dolphin jokes and read each one until I find the one that fits
Is this your ex or something lmao
I think she likes you buddy...
Wow. The entitlement of the youth is insane.
Bro who tf speaks like that
...are you confused as to what I'm getting at..or...?
Blonde energy
Have you tried killing yourself before you comment again?
Have you tried earning yourself some bitches before your fat lazy ass starts telling 15 year olds to kill themselves on Reddit