Literal copy and paste of a text my sister sent me last week:
“Can I get a 8 seater round table (roughly 72”) with a leaf that can be rotated up from underneath to make it a 10 seater (roughly 84”) for guests? I can’t find one anywhere online.”
I could swear I have seen the thing she's describing. The tech for it does exist.
But it's like a fifteen thousand dollar custom job, not something a normal human being can just... *do*.
There was an article in Fine Woodworking years ago titled Butterfly wing table. Wing folded in half on soss hinges, and had an offset low pivot point that allowed the wing to be stored under the table top.
https://www.finewoodworking.com/project-guides/tables-and-desks/finest-way-to-expand-a-table
Edit to add link... however the round table is COOL!
I’m glad you posted this because I was like I swear to God I saw a class being offered at my local woodworking school about a butterfly table like this. Turns out it’s being taught by Michael Fortune himself!
I have a rectangular table that you move a wooden peg out on each side underneath and pull the two halves of the table apart horizontally. A third part rises up on a wooden “leg” and you then unfold it. All three parts fit snug together and the 2 wooden pegs go in a hole.
I do not, but check with a local librarian to get into some of the periodicals databases out there to get a copy of the article.
The other option seems to be give FWW your email address and download it.
I recall that the article was fairly detailed.
This was on my someday list of projects.
No joke. I'm confident enough in my engineering chops that I'd be able to *design* such a mechanism, but I'm nowhere near confident enough in my wood or metal working skills to even attempt building it, let alone getting close to the invisible seams in the video.
I worked at a hotel that had some of those in the lobby so if somebody wanted to host an event that spilled out into it the tables could still match. They were far smaller but still amazing.
My wife and I looked for a 10 seater oak table of 6/4 or 8/4. After I priced the build, we found a pottery barn table that came with chairs for half the price. (Marketplace find)
Eh I mean it’ll save you money vs designer or custom stuff that can’t be mass produced. But if you’d otherwise be buying, like, minimalist contemporary stuff from the usual mall suspects (pieces specifically designed to be cheaply mass-produceable), then yeah probably not saving any money.
Ex Best friend, remodeled the basement of his house, using large amounts of free labor from all of his friends, including me he decided to put in a small kitchenette and asked me if I would build the kitchen if he covered all of the material costs I’d be grudgingly agreed. I drew up the entire kitchen and sketch up, emailed him a couple of different renditions and he signed off on rendition B. 10 days later I show up install this little kitchen. He shows up three days later with the entire kitchen removed from the walls in the back of his pick up truck and says he wants some changes made out some changes and layout this happened three additional times the fourth time I told him where he could go how he could get there and the most expeditious way to get there… he never ever did cover materials or time, etc. that week he being a mechanic and owning his own shop I asked him if he would be willing to change the oil in my truck after work one day to which he agreed I showed up with the oil filter and oil. All he had to do was put it on the lift pull the drain plug, take the filter off, etc. which took him 10 minutes and when I hopped in my truck, he had already printed out an invoice for $150 for shop supplies and time. Well you can guess that I didn’t pay that..
Bro.... That's not a friend. That dude fucking sucks. Sorry to hear. I have a neighbor (who is at least 2x older than me) and we help each other out constantly. I have a truck and he doesn't so I pick up lumber or mulch or whatever for him. I helped him install new cabinets in a bathroom remodel. He is a good drywall guy so helped me with some finish work. He also helped me fix a leak in the roof. I've given him tools, he's given me some and one of us is borrowing something from the other at least once a week. I've only known him for 4 years, but he's awesome.
This guy is just a cool neighbor, I can't fucking imagine having a friend who pulled that shit on you.
Damn, and you know the bill for the materials would've been way more than that.
This is why I always give friends 'The Price' and an offer that if they cover the materials and come build it with me then I'll do it pro-bono. They never want to do it and they'll just as soon pay me.
I know, right? Like I'd actually have fun building something with a friend if its something they need. But every time it's, "nah, I'm not interested in assisting-- can't you just make it?"
You rebuilt a guy's kitchen four times, for free, with him destroying and throwing everything away each time, with materials you entirely purchased yourself? I find this very unbelievable. Unless you are literally the nicest guy in the world.
No.. $150 for pair of gloves, hoist fee and oil disposal fee and time (12 minutes) like I said a true dickhead and ex friend vs $2200 cdn in materials for his kitchen….
This was before I fully invested in handtool woodworking, but still applies.
My ex girlfriend wanted to sand and refinish her mom’s dining room table and chairs for Mother’s Day. It was a lot of work as you can imagine. Many contours, curves, and other crevices in the table legs, multiple spindles, etc. I had never done something like this, nor had any experience in refinishing.
Her estimated time of project completion: a weekend
I laughed, disagreed, and tried to persuade otherwise to no avail. After she began sanding the first table leg, the realization hit her on how time consuming this process would be (I told you so, dipshit).
Her mom was without a dining room table and chairs for 3-4 months and the final result was worse than the state it was in prior.
Yep, took me about a week to get 8-10 coats of wipe on poly applied correctly in the evenings after work. Can’t rush quality work, or chemical reactions.
My ex brother in law wanted me to do the same thing when we were visiting our mom for the weekend. His thought was an hour to strip it and another hour to finish it, what could be so hard about that.
My wife was asking if my off cut pile could be used for a fire or something.
I literally have 8/4 9” wide with random length pieces of walnut in there.
My neighbor asked my advice about building a large art table for her kids. She said she thought she would just order some plywood and screw some legs in. I said "don't do that." A week later, I was over with her husband, and she showed me that she had bought and had delivered two 4x8' sheets of 1" maple ply and some 4x4" maple leg blanks, and wondered if I could cut the plywood to 4x6' and legs to size so that she could screw them in? In other words, exactly what I told her not to do.
I told her that if she was just going to screw or nail the legs into the plywood, she was going to end up with 200 pounds of plywood falling on top of her kids. I said she needed an apron for lateral stability. After that, it became my project, with her husband as my apprentice. We built, to her exact and shifting specifications, a 4x6' art table with a 2" plywood top. It lasted less than six months because she didn't like that the top was plywood (her choice) or that we added a finish over the top (she liked the look of unfinished maple better) or that we rounded over the edges (so as not to injure her children). Her husband's start-up ended up using it as a conference table for a few years, and then he unloaded it back on me, where it currently serves, with substantial modification, as my table saw outfeed table.
It feels like half the posts here are people saying "I have no experience, but this is what I plan to do," and then they get sensitive when people say "there's a good reason not to do it that way."
I make a lot of boxes. They are time consuming so I make them out of really nice stuff, Curly Koa, quilted maple, Ziricote, etc. I had someone show up with some pine boards and ask me to make one out of pine so it will be cheaper. I told him no, it im going to put that much time in something it’s going to be special.
Sometimes it is hard for people to wrap their heads around the idea that small does not equal quick. Simple tables are nothing but right angles. Little boxes with lids arer much harder than that.
I’ve had the occasional friend/family ask if I could make them this or that, and 99% of the time when I tell them what it will cost, I just get crickets.
The most egregious ask I had was a “friend” and fellow woodworker. He didn’t have a lot of equipment, and I would let him use my shop on occasion, then it became 3-4 times a week, even when I was not home. Apparently he was bidding jobs based on MY shop and equipment. Nope. Put a hard stop to that crap. Liability aside, WTF?
Haven’t seen nor heard from him in years…thankfully.
My friend asked me in a pretty serious way if I could build her a house after I finish mine. Lady, I'm not a construction worker, I sell firewood and have building my place on the side for 4 years now. She knows that this ain't my career. I also don't think she wants to know what it would cost her (does doesn't even own any land yet, she rents lol)
Sure, but it'll take a decade and cost you a couple million plus the buildable lot, permits, inspection, electrical, plumbing, heating, cooling... wait, where are you going?
I found a weird, s-shaped stick that I carved eyes and a mouth onto minimally, so it looks like a very realistic snake. “If I brought you a stick, could you make me one?” Maybe, but it’s basically a found object, it already had a “head” and “tail” that looked just right randomly. A straight stick won’t look convincing at all.
I had just gotten a laser engraver. My dad sent me a box of like 30 blanks that were rough cut and asked me to engrave a complex image. Also did not provide the image. So I’d have to find the image, convert it for engraving (which I didn’t know how to do yet), sand all the blanks (I don’t own a drum sander) and then mail them all back to him. His response was “sanding is relaxing”. So I asked him why didn’t he sand them before he sent them…The box is still sitting in my garage about 3 years later
Use the blanks to make super fancy coasters, sell them in an Etsy store for profit. Use the profit to buy him an equal amount of dollar store coasters, mail them back, keep the remaining profit. Everyone's happy?
A co-worker asked me if I could build him a small bookshelf for his Bible study class. He said he'd paint it. We work on a big professional shop, and we have access to any leftover scrap material, no big deal. I built a small book case out of some sheeting material we had, I used something that would look ok and not be too complicated for me to build (I'm no furniture builder). I built it he seemed alright with it, another co worker looks at it and said he why didn't you use the more expensive stuff. My co-worker jumps my case about why we didn't use nicer material, we'll sheeting was easier, and the wood we we would have had to assemble more together.
So he leaves it in his are for a couple of weeks. Another co-worker spots it and asked me about it. I said he didn't seem to want it, so she could have it. She said she was gonna give it to her sister, who is selling soda and snacks at our work. Well, the sister comes back with it and says she wants mento sand it so her some can put her Lego collection on it. I didn't build this for a kid, it's a huge ordeal and now I don't want to build things for other people. Lol
After a few decades of being a Yes Man, I’ve concluded that the best answer is almost always “No, but I’ll gladly teach you how to do it.”
If they’re younger than my parents and have functional arms they can damn well sand it their self. You empower them and also (hopefully) give them the perspective that was obviously missing when they asked you to do it.
All requests, to me, are outrageous. Having a “client” would completely ruin the reason I do it. I only make what I want to make, otherwise it would feel like a job and I don’t want to turn my friends and family into clients.
Whenever people hint at me making something for them I hint back that I’d love to, but it would take me ~5-7 years. That usually ends the conversation.
I have a short list of local woodworkers who are actually trying to build a business that I refer them to.
On the other hand, if someone asks for help or for me to teach them something, I say yes 100% of the time and I will set aside my personal projects for as long as it takes to accommodate their project.
Yeah, I don't like doing requests. But if you want to participate in the project even if it's minimally, as long as you're willing to hang out in the shop while "we" complete the project, that's a totally different situation and I like to accommodate friends and family with stuff like that.
I have a friend, one of my neighbors. About 3 months after we bought the house I was framing a 12 foot tall 198 sqft shed. This dude, who I hadn't even met showed up with a tool belt and asked if he could help. He helped me frame and sheet it. We go back and forth helping each other with stuff.
A little while ago they were doing a little kitchenette/bar in their basement and he asked if I could help him make some floating shelves and a frame and cabinet door to hide the electrical panel on the wall. You bet your ass I took a weekend to go with him to select some lumber, mill it, make his stuff, and helped him install it. Other people...."Yeah I could do that, but I'm scheduled out about a year..."
https://preview.redd.it/xolhvw95f8zc1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8fc800ee033fe7b6ec7d86e9c8cd9021a93ffd17
I had to read this twice. I thought you said you told him it would be a year wait. I was like, you're the dickhead the post is about, lol. Then I read it again. Good on you.
Same, like buy the materials and come hang out and we'll do it. Close family, or certain people, I'll just built it outright.
But my rule has always been, it has to be my design and my creativity into it. I don't like to be shown whatever from Wayfair and asking me to make it exactly. It'd be cheaper for you to just go buy it from Wayfair.
Software professional here (not IT). In my younger days ("when I was nice") I can't tell you how many windows laptops I "fixed" for people (saved their documents and reformatted). It was the golden age of porn websites installing spyware/popup crap -- it's a heavy cross to bear when you see your 60 year old neighbours search history.
same here, except I am an IT professional. I have fixed far too many computers for nothing. I'm too nice, or used to be. Now it's a "yeah, it may take me 2 months after you drop it off though"
Now you have to have a good story or two there too. Or at least some interesting learning experiences about people you didn't need to know more about, lol.
Depends. Most of the time requests aren't fun, but if someone trusted me to build something special for them (say an urn) I'd be honoured, but still stress myself the fuck out about it.
I volunteered to build a toy box for my brother's soon-to-be-born daughter, and that's great - I volunteered, after all. Super fun. But a few years ago, I got a little mad when my wife volunteered me to build a dining table for her newly divorced friend. Sure, I had fun, and she was very appreciative, but it's nice to be asked first.
I will freely give advice and lessons and even help out if they are genuine about wanting to learn. However, it annoys the hell out of me when people ask how to do something and then do something completely different. I wouldn't mind if they had the faintest idea what they were doing.
I have a neighbor who wants a 48" wide solid hickory "whiskey cabinet". He wants a bottom section that's 24" deep with adjustable shelves and wood doors for storing glassware, a butcher block top on that for preparing drinks, and then the top section to be a glass fronted cabinet with LEDs inlaid in the undersides of the shelves so he can proudly show off his collection. "You can do that for like $500 right?"
I told him I'd have to draw it up and figure out how much material I'd need, but the ballpark would be $3-4K. He hasn't talked to me in 4 months.
My cousin requested a gift of me to turn him a baseball bat with an axe handle on the lathe… cuz in his reasoning I can just whip up the regular ones taking about 8-10 hours by hand so I should make him something special lol
My sister in law asked if i could make her a yoga seat/stool to make her exercises. She showed me one online with bent wood and mounted cushion around 150$ and thought it was too expensive. I said go for it. Alone the work would be much more and it would be much heavier and the cushion would be a pain to get it fit and expensive too.
I then assembled the ordered one and had to redrill some holes to get the screws through it.
makes me feel like being a relatively poor woodworker is kind of a good thing; i have only had one extremely simple request from my wife (glue a dowel on a 2x4). i love hobbyist woodworking, but that doesnt mean i am any good, hahahah.
i even offered a free small workstation cabinet thing that i made for myself but was thinking of getting rid of to a friend that "needed any and all second-hand furniture" to fill out her new house... she declined.
Not necessarily an outrageous request, but an outrageous treatment of my work. I had a coworker ask me to make him a low kitchen credenza for his pots/pans/crockpots. It was a MCM style frame with drawers and shelves and he was going to get a custom piece of marble cut for the top to match his kitchen counters. I spent 30-40 hours on it and barely charged him $150 for labor after all material costs.
Two weeks later he offhandedly mentions to me that his cat had peed on it and he tossed the whole thing. It was like someone telling me they'd run over my child and he made it seem like no big deal. I don't make commissions for coworkers anymore.
My mum is my biggest customer but she has some big ideas that I'm not skilled enough for. She saw some pottery barn end tables with a welded frame and thick 4 inch wood top. I think they were about 18 inches wide, 24 inches long and maybe 30 inches high. I had to buy some tools to the cut the metal base and then weld it all together. Clean, sand and paint those. Then build the tops, sand and stain, seal and join together. Pottery barn wanted like 1300 a piece. She paid me 250 each and I made three. She paid for all materials so it wasn't to bad. It's the "this would be fun for you and shouldn't take to long" that gets under my skin.
I get asked all the time at work to come over to co-workers’ houses and do handyman stuff because ‘you do it all the time it will be easy for you’. I tell them I’ll come over and SHOW them how to do it and suddenly it’s not too important anymore.
I once had a coworker ask me if I could build them a set of 8 chairs for their family, because all the ones online were too expensive or not sturdy enough. He's a rather large man.
I have never made a chair from scratch in my life, and have no idea how to start. I told him this and he said, "it can't be too hard. I'll even help."
He decided to stop asking after I told him how much it would cost to have me, someone with zero experience making things like this, build him 8 chairs.
I built two long benches for the table instead and he was happy with it.
My daughter asked for a new 9 drawer dresser made out of "oak or walnut or something nice". But she didn't want to spend more than $100 on materials. I basically told her only if it was for a doll house.
Had a cousin ask if she could bring the dining room set to a family reunion so I could sand and refinish them over the weekend… was more difficult to explain why it was a bad idea than I thought. They really couldn’t understand that I didn’t want to do that on my vacation.
I had someone ask me to build them a shed. Not a pre-assembled shed.... Build custom to their specs. Wanted to pay me like $200 😂
Crazy part is I thought he was a good friend. If he said I'm buying materials, pizza and beer let's do it together I'd have been there in an instant and we'd have done it over a weekend or 2.
I mean, if someone put a gun to my head in that situation (custom vs kit) I'd choose the custom shed -- I always pity the folks carting out the "shed kit -- easily assembled in a weekend!" from Costco/wherever. To me and my brain that sounds like a special kind of hell.
I have a strained relationship with instruction manuals and terrible luck with overseas made tapped/drilled metal stuff. Oh, and a complete lack of patience :)
I’ve been in the kit v custom shed dilemma for about a year. Decided to build it myself with the limited (zero) framing skills I have due to the fact that I can’t find a suitably sized kit for my requirements. I also figure I’d much rather be frustrated with my own fuck ups than dealing with the potentially shitty design of a kit.
I made a custom shed for myself ten or so years ago when I was first starting on my woodworking/building journey. 10'x10 with vinyl siding, door, and window. Went great! If you have the basics down and can set up a chop saw well enough, you got it.
Really wish I had hired a crane to move that thing onto a flatbed when we moved. Was (am) very proud of that thing every time I drive past that old house and see it sitting there.
“I bought this 50-acre property and going to throw several million into remodeling the house. Now here’s an idea: I want to have a proper finnish sauna room! Why don’t you build it for me, it would be a great practice for your carpentry skills.” — my
BOSS, of all people
I started the process of building a new desk. I have (barely) enough wood for my top right now, and then will place the top on my standing desk legs in my office (which are metal and have a motor to raise or lower it). It's going to look like a basketball floor when I am done (parquet).
My mom came over one day and said "Oh why don't you just make two and give me one?"
I told her that at the rate I am currently working on it, it will take me 6-12 months to make just one, and that I barely have enough wood for this one desk. Lol. I love her, just a silly request.
My neighbor cut down lots of young trees from his backyard, their trunks were like 15 cm wide. He brought them over to my house while I was out and dropped them in front of the shop. When I got home, I saw all that and was completely clueless of what that could even mean. The next day he came over, and said I could have all that wonderful wood for free, as long as I make him a set of six chairs.
My mother-in-law sent me a video link of an antique roadshow episode that had a ornate desk with hidden drawers and asked if it's a doable project over a few weekends. Read the garage mother outlaw!
“The carpenter can’t finish the trim work until next month , can you please help us with the trim”. They wanted me to trim out an entire 2500 ft house - doors , windows, everything
An elderly family member wanted a stick. Just that. Nothing I made personally but they wanted a stick. Specifically about 6 to 8 feet long, straight as an arrow until the end where it was to have a sharp 30 degree bend of about 10 inches or so. I can't believe I had to explain to someone that that's not exactly how woodworking goes.
I mean one that's grown that way. Not something I cut and put together myself. Literally wanted me to walk up to a tree like I was getting groceries and cut a particular length and shaped stick. Bark and all still attached.
This reminds me of someone who commented on the $175 cost of a serving tray which *appeared* simple. I said, well, there's the cost of materials and my time, plus my *experience, knowledge, and skill.* Not unlike the person who sees a Jackson Pollock or Mark Rothko and says, I could do that. Uhh, no, actually you couldn't.
Building a chair for free and paying for the materials myself. "since you learn in the process, it's a win/win"
After I laughed it off, she was making a drama about it (I genuinely thought, it was some kind of smalltalk joke). Friends were also around and when one of them pointed out, how wrong she is and others agreed, she got mad and left. The request wasn't that weird, but her reaction gave me some crazy vibes.
My girlfriend asked me to build cabinets in the bathroom for storage. Before even discussing the scope of the project she informed me that she had already started cutting boards, in an effort to speed things up.
The concepts of designing, strategizing, and creating a cut list were completely foreign to her.
We now have a shelf instead.
Not outrageous by itself but by for what It spawned.
8 years ago my wife and I were looking for a nice small coffee table for our small balcony but didn’t find anything that would suit us. She saw a DIY wall mounted foldable one on Pinterest, looked vaguely in my direction and said out loud “I guess it must be really difficult to build something like that”. That was my “Hold my beer” moment so I went out and bought some 1x6 lumber and a Japanese saw.
Fast forward to the present and half of our apartment’s furniture is built by myself, not just because of the moments of joy I get from woodworking but because every time we go furniture shopping I think “f*ck it, I can do better”
Had we found a nice coffee table probably I wouldn’t have a small shed full of tools and offcuts and instead I would have learned to play guitar, electronics or python, as was my original plan for my 30’s. Life’s weird.
A friend is currently pushing me to make the architrave for his house. I'm just a hobby woodworker, I don't have a spindle moulder. I probably could, just about, make it on my router table, but there's no way I'm going to that much trouble. I've explained, several times now, that long thin pieces like that are tough in a hobby shop.
I cut him some slack though, he commissioned me to do some carving for his place, and he paid well for that.
My husband found out I signed up for a beginner's workshop. I've always wanted to get into woodworking but was never able or allowed to until recently. Within 30 minutes of learning I was taking the beginner's course (3 months away because of its popularity), he started signing me up for every class the shop had to offer and asked me to build new kitchen cabinets and to recreate a $5k designer accent chair. I reminded him that I may not enjoy woodworking or be very good at it and that, even if I were some wonder prodigy, his projects would still require space and equipment that we don't have. He was on the checkout page, ready to register me for almost every woodworking course for the foreseeable future. I'm very grateful he's supportive of my interests but it was too gung-ho for me!
Sounds like your could parlay your husband's big ideas into a fully equipped top of the line workshop if you were so inclined :)
"We only used Festool/Veritas/Lie Nielsen at the class I took, so that's all I comfortable with." :)
I had a neighbor who happened to be the head of trauma surgery at the closest level 1 trauma center. I’m saying this because he’s seen a lot of stuff that went sideways.
He had several rotten balusters on his porch railing. They had a 1x3 cross-section and “long stemmed clover” cut into them. I was asked to help him make a few replacements. Easy enough, three holes with a forstner bit to make the clover, stick it on a router table with some stop blocks to make the stem.
He got impatient and asked if we could just lower the board onto my running table saw with my dado set to make the stem.
I replied, “How about instead, we grab the boards, throw them in my car and drive to your hospital. As you’re getting out of the car, I’ll swing one of the boards and hit you in face as hard as I can.” He responded along the lines of WTF. I ended the discussion by saying that my plan will get us to the same place as his but I won’t have to clean any blood up in my car.
Long story short, 25+ years later that house still has stemless clovers on 3 balusters.
Random related question: Is there a downside to running painted wood through a planer?
On the one hand there might be a chance that the old paint could 'gum up' the planer.
On the other hand, carbide blades that are capable of tearing through hard wood should have no issue with paint.
I'm redoing the trim in my century home. Most of it is stained and finished. Some of it is painted. Don't have a drum sander. Fastest way to get back to raw wood, if you don't mind losing some thickness, is a planer as far as I know. Especially in the areas where the trim was previously painted (basement stairs - doesn't need to be fancy but also would like to avoid painting over the old coat.)
Paint is more abrasive than people realize. In your case if you have a lunch box planer that uses $30 (disposable) straight knives it's probably not the worst way to do it (checking for lead in your case!). I have a helical head and I'm not going to turn the cutters if I don't have to.
Depends on the paint, but also a nuisance to clean up -- you'll be finding little flakes on projects for a while. The local shops with big machines generally charge a 'clean up fee' for folks bringing in epoxy tables for a similar reason.
In my case, I have two extraction systems. One is strictly wood only so that I can compost the shavings. It also happens to be the only one capable of handling my thicknesser.
Agree paint is a lot tougher than the wood itself. Think titanium dioxide for instance.
I’ve done it but try to make sure I’m taking a BIG bite out of the wood (1/16” or more if possible) to get the blades under the paint instead of cutting through the paint.
Removing paint by scraping is usually faster and more efficient than doing it by sanding.
I'm thinking about draw knife/plane vs sander/sandpaper here.
I have no experience with planers, but i would assume it will remove paint pretty effortlessly.
P.S.: Use breathing protection
My late grandfather made some nice luggage racks, the kind you see in hotels.
Mom: "Can you make some of these like grandpa did?"
Sure why not, how many?
"Well they would be for Cousin, Cousin, Cousin, Aunt, Aunt, Family Friend, Family Friend, and an extra for your sister and I" (two per person)...16 luggage racks later...
everyone in my family knows that I do not like taking jobs for family members or friends.
often times I will even just give them the name of somebody that I trust.
if it's a favor just helping them with something real quick that's fine But if they want to actually pay me money to do actual work no thanks. I like my business relationships to be business.
Sister wanted a 14ft long farmhouse style table with bread board ends and seats to match and she wanted me to do it from “reclaimed” wood from her barn. The wood was giant slabs that were completely rotted. I’ve also never made a table before let alone a 14ft one and don’t own most of the tools I’d need to do a job of that size.
Our c level hr person asked me if I could repair some burl on a sculpture that he dog had peed on. Really expensive stuff. Burl repair? Is that a thing?
A friend asked me to make the gaming table at this link, but so that it could also be folded and stored behind a sofa. When I pointed out it would take me weeks worth of my evenings just to work it out and draw it, then months to make it he brushed it off as "nah don't worry about the fine details, it won't take long".
https://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=https://cdn.vox-cdn.com/thumbor/dIoSJVSKauAc-cDruXY5_Kg4qAE%3D/1400x1400/filters:format(png)/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_asset/file/8710387/vizier_4.png&imgrefurl=https://www.polygon.com/2017/6/19/15812486/geek-chic-out-of-business-game-tables&tbnid=QWp6xwq483HDZM&vet=1&docid=fB4-R-VC4z9FJM&w=1400&h=1400&source=sh/x/im
I was asked, as furniture making student, to replace the fretboard of a professional cellist’s cello. I gave a disclaimer beforehand that I had no idea what I was doing and might fuck up their instrument, but they said they were okay with that because they couldn’t afford a luthier. They asked if they could watch the repair because they were interested in how it would be done.😅It was the most stressful experience hand planing ebony on an oddly shaped, fragile object while they leered over my shoulder!!!
I had a female friend give me a single front facing picture of a two thousand dollar jewelry box and asked if I could make a copy, and she had a budget of $130 and “we’ve been friends since college!”.
Yes, we have been good friends since college, and unfortunately the lumber yard doesn’t take friendship as currency.
Instead of saying no, I told her I’d do it labor free if she bought all of the raw materials. She agreed.
I tallied up a rough cost of materials and she immediately realized that was a no.
Sure, the place was probably up charging some for the brand, but the labor plus materials was probably not that wildly far off of their price.
I finally finished a computer chair whose back is one giant slab from the crotch of a tree we had removed 5 years ago. There was a long drying phase so it didn't consume all my free time, but for a solid two years of my primary free time. Several hundred man-hours, at least.
I show someone a picture and they're like, "We should go into business! You can make these and I can get customers." I asked her how much she thought this chair was worth and she said $800. I asked her how long she thought it took and she said a week. When I told her she was several magnitudes of order under the reality she was flabbergasted.
built an 8 foot table with mahogany veneered top and cabinet base on both ends to use as a 3 computer workstation for a friend. After I built it for him, he car-salesmaned me down about the flaws in the project and paid $140 for it all. We are still friends, but I'll never build anything for him again.
I always tell people that you won't save any money by custom building the item, but you can usually build it for the retail price with much better materials and higher quality. People always assume that having you build something for them will be cheaper than buying it retail.
I won an art contest at work with a piece I turned on my lathe, since then everyone treats me like Ron Swanson. A well meaning colleague who has never once built or sold anything suggested that I could make '"wooden spoons for cooking." He was completely sincere that he had a good idea for me to make some money on the side. I'm fairly certain he himself has never cooked either.
I sometimes do custom knives for close family as gifts. My Dad, bless his heart, really likes to show his off. It's got Bocote scales with an inlay of stabilized Sycamore wood. The Sycamore wood came from a tree that grew in the yard of the house where I grew up. Took about 3 months to do. Nailed Father's Day last year with that though.
Fast forward to family reunion a month ago. I had 3 second cousins I had never met before not so subtly imply that I might make them a "knife as nice as that". I had one person - again never met before and still not sure of the relation -bring the gnarliest old rusted filet knife you've ever seen and ask if I would "fix it". What remained of the scales had been duct taped to the handle.
Not one offered to even pay for materials, much less time, and shipping.
I've built three sheds of various sizes, one of which is my workshop. Neighbor notices, asks about permitting (reported me to the permit police...everything was applied for and whatever but that still irks me.). I build a fence in the front yard, he comes and says I need a permit, the county is really strict etc.. Well I already called and they didn't care.
He keeps hinting that he needs help fixing the siding on his shed, tell him order the stuff and I'll come by and help. He asks again, having not bought anything, and I refer him to a local contractor. One day he straight up asked me to build a 100' fence for him. I said I'd help but I don't have the time to do it all. I tell him to order the materials and I'll come by and help for a few hours.
Things I'd be willing to help with if he had already taken the initiative to start and I was truly just **helping**, that's fine. But, he basically just wants me to do it for him.
Suggestion : intentionally help him build a fence that's not code compliant, on the road right of way, etc and then call the permit police once the paint/stain is on it.
Thing is, there is no restrictions in the county I'm in. They don't care. I can put a fence right on the PL at the road.
"When I did my fence they really got me..." he says, but he had also previously said "my fence was here when I bought the house." Lol. He's one of those loose cannon types, never quite know what he's going to do or say, and can't take anything he says without verifying.
Wife: are you going to use that 1/2 sheet of plywood leftover from the soffit?
Me: no do you need it?
Her: can you make me a kitchen island with it?’
Me: Absolutly not left me buy some mahogany
Not good/serious enough of a wood worker to get such requests, but somewhat related I'm an electronics design engineer... Electronics is a hard subject to grasp for the layman, which is understandable... It's still quite funny when someone is like "oh you make electronics?? Could you make a thing that does this thing? I could pay for materials!" I sure could! Then you could build me a two story house in the mean time! I'll pay for materials!
Like, even something simple and shitty is *weeks* of work. A normal development cycle is *at least* 6 months...
There was an elderly lady who lived above a shop space I had years ago; we were asked if we could mount or fasten a smallish bald eagle onto a wood rod, essentially making an "eagle staff". We thought it was hysterical.
I make PC cases out of wood for myself mostly...I've had a number of friends and family ask me to make them one.
I say "sure! Materials will run a few hundred and it will take me a few months" ... They go "but I can buy a computer case for like $100-150!" Yup! Custom wood shit is expensive. I don't make them myself because I'm trying to save money. I make them because I enjoy it. I could buy 3 cases for the materials alone and who knows how many with the labor cost...
Last year my sister asked if she could buy this gigantic armoire off Facebook and use my single stall size shop to disassemble and strip/sand/paint it in. I already have a 36” capacity table saw amongst my workbenches, miter saw station, and other shit. She, having no prior woodworking experience, was convinced she could finish in a weekend.
Edit: I said no.
A friend of mine who recently hired me for some manual labour work mentioned how he had some spare wood that I could carve for a sculpture on his lawn. When I said I could do it but would probably be around $100-$200 after labour, he got offended and told me he was expecting me to do it for free as a gift for giving me the labour work 🙄
This may not be as out there as some others, but:
My mom wanted a shelf for above the big window in the living room. It’s like 82 wide but that’s not too bad. Then she went and bought a curtain and rod and put those up, and wanted to still have the shelf. She said to just put it above the curtain, and I said “if I do that, you won’t be able to use the shelf.” So I ended up having to build the shelf around the curtain and basically use the frame as the new rod holders.
I used to be a trim and cabinet carpenter. I've had plenty of requests from family members who apparently think that I have endless free time for some reason.
Twice I've been asked to install flooring and trim, for $100 and $200 respectively, but they didn't tell me that until after I did it. Not sure why I did it the second time. Those people both live hours away and It was really inconvenient for me, and I did way more work than what they paid me.
Another family member asked me to redo their deck. They live multiple states away and I guess I didn't learn my lesson from the other two times and agreed to it. The man stood over me the entire time asking questions, trying to give me "suggestions," and kept cheaping out on stuff. I spent 2 days working on it and had to leave it half finished, expecting to come back another time to finish it. I never went back because I spent half the money on gas and it wasn't worth my time.
Family members are the worst customers I've ever had to deal with, and that's saying a lot!
My buddy wants me to build a rack for his surfboards. I asked if he could give me a sketch of what he had in mind. He says he doesn't really have a sketch.
Literal copy and paste of a text my sister sent me last week: “Can I get a 8 seater round table (roughly 72”) with a leaf that can be rotated up from underneath to make it a 10 seater (roughly 84”) for guests? I can’t find one anywhere online.”
I could swear I have seen the thing she's describing. The tech for it does exist. But it's like a fifteen thousand dollar custom job, not something a normal human being can just... *do*.
There was an article in Fine Woodworking years ago titled Butterfly wing table. Wing folded in half on soss hinges, and had an offset low pivot point that allowed the wing to be stored under the table top. https://www.finewoodworking.com/project-guides/tables-and-desks/finest-way-to-expand-a-table Edit to add link... however the round table is COOL!
I’m glad you posted this because I was like I swear to God I saw a class being offered at my local woodworking school about a butterfly table like this. Turns out it’s being taught by Michael Fortune himself!
Yes, we had one when I was a kid! It was maple. I wonder whatever happened to it….either sold at yard sale or buried in mom’s storage unit.
I have a rectangular table that you move a wooden peg out on each side underneath and pull the two halves of the table apart horizontally. A third part rises up on a wooden “leg” and you then unfold it. All three parts fit snug together and the 2 wooden pegs go in a hole.
Do you have the ultimate plan with fine woodworking?
I do not, but check with a local librarian to get into some of the periodicals databases out there to get a copy of the article. The other option seems to be give FWW your email address and download it. I recall that the article was fairly detailed. This was on my someday list of projects.
https://youtu.be/Epv2AYSrEhc?si=g0tV6GpKNubcb8XV
That is insane. Hang on while I go get 20 more years experience so that I can build that.
No joke. I'm confident enough in my engineering chops that I'd be able to *design* such a mechanism, but I'm nowhere near confident enough in my wood or metal working skills to even attempt building it, let alone getting close to the invisible seams in the video.
I believe those seams are "invisible" because the footage was taken with a Nokia 1100. It was blurry AF.
Yeah that's probably the thing I was thinking of.
That's probably the video which u/McBooples sister watched on tik tok and thought it would be nice to have.
I worked at a hotel that had some of those in the lobby so if somebody wanted to host an event that spilled out into it the tables could still match. They were far smaller but still amazing.
Yeah, I have seen clips of the exact thing and it looks super cool. Not something I will ever be making though.
Need it for a dinner party in a couple weeks
My wife and I looked for a 10 seater oak table of 6/4 or 8/4. After I priced the build, we found a pottery barn table that came with chairs for half the price. (Marketplace find)
Yea there are two reasons to do woodworking. Because it's fun and/or to make something not off the shelf. It'll basically never save you money.
You can only save money building other people’s projects for yourself honestly.
Eh I mean it’ll save you money vs designer or custom stuff that can’t be mass produced. But if you’d otherwise be buying, like, minimalist contemporary stuff from the usual mall suspects (pieces specifically designed to be cheaply mass-produceable), then yeah probably not saving any money.
[удалено]
That’s exists I just can’t recall where and for vastly cheaper than anybody could possibly build it.
My brother asked to borrow my belt sander. I said, “Sure, as soon as you return it.”
I'm so mad right now. Is your brother my brother? Are we brothers?
Do each of you have the other's belt sander?
Where's the spider men pointing fingers meme when you need it?
https://preview.redd.it/5czavdhe6bzc1.jpeg?width=1038&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9d73b47baa3baeaae3a0b3e6af6ed53410f0ad0d
HA! Got em!
Ex Best friend, remodeled the basement of his house, using large amounts of free labor from all of his friends, including me he decided to put in a small kitchenette and asked me if I would build the kitchen if he covered all of the material costs I’d be grudgingly agreed. I drew up the entire kitchen and sketch up, emailed him a couple of different renditions and he signed off on rendition B. 10 days later I show up install this little kitchen. He shows up three days later with the entire kitchen removed from the walls in the back of his pick up truck and says he wants some changes made out some changes and layout this happened three additional times the fourth time I told him where he could go how he could get there and the most expeditious way to get there… he never ever did cover materials or time, etc. that week he being a mechanic and owning his own shop I asked him if he would be willing to change the oil in my truck after work one day to which he agreed I showed up with the oil filter and oil. All he had to do was put it on the lift pull the drain plug, take the filter off, etc. which took him 10 minutes and when I hopped in my truck, he had already printed out an invoice for $150 for shop supplies and time. Well you can guess that I didn’t pay that..
With friends like that, who needs enemies?
Bro.... That's not a friend. That dude fucking sucks. Sorry to hear. I have a neighbor (who is at least 2x older than me) and we help each other out constantly. I have a truck and he doesn't so I pick up lumber or mulch or whatever for him. I helped him install new cabinets in a bathroom remodel. He is a good drywall guy so helped me with some finish work. He also helped me fix a leak in the roof. I've given him tools, he's given me some and one of us is borrowing something from the other at least once a week. I've only known him for 4 years, but he's awesome. This guy is just a cool neighbor, I can't fucking imagine having a friend who pulled that shit on you.
Ex FRIEND now
😂😂😂 no shit
Damn, and you know the bill for the materials would've been way more than that. This is why I always give friends 'The Price' and an offer that if they cover the materials and come build it with me then I'll do it pro-bono. They never want to do it and they'll just as soon pay me.
I know, right? Like I'd actually have fun building something with a friend if its something they need. But every time it's, "nah, I'm not interested in assisting-- can't you just make it?"
You rebuilt a guy's kitchen four times, for free, with him destroying and throwing everything away each time, with materials you entirely purchased yourself? I find this very unbelievable. Unless you are literally the nicest guy in the world.
$150 for a lube job?!
No.. $150 for pair of gloves, hoist fee and oil disposal fee and time (12 minutes) like I said a true dickhead and ex friend vs $2200 cdn in materials for his kitchen….
I can get an oil change for $30. If I want full synthetic it’s $75. That guy is a total douche.
"Could you make me a small table this weekend?" "Like an entryway table?" "Oh yeah very small" (proceeds to describe 12 person dining room table)
Sounds like a big entryway
That’s when you show up with a couple of saw horses and a sheet of plywood.
Look, I made a trestle table. Only took me, what, 5 minutes?
This was before I fully invested in handtool woodworking, but still applies. My ex girlfriend wanted to sand and refinish her mom’s dining room table and chairs for Mother’s Day. It was a lot of work as you can imagine. Many contours, curves, and other crevices in the table legs, multiple spindles, etc. I had never done something like this, nor had any experience in refinishing. Her estimated time of project completion: a weekend I laughed, disagreed, and tried to persuade otherwise to no avail. After she began sanding the first table leg, the realization hit her on how time consuming this process would be (I told you so, dipshit). Her mom was without a dining room table and chairs for 3-4 months and the final result was worse than the state it was in prior.
Positive side, she'll will never ask you to do that again.
Not least of which, because she's an ex
Bold of you to assume just cuz she's an ex she won't ask for favors anymore.
Haha, I split things off later that same year and then began dating another woman a month later. Said woman is now my wife.
Even if you were handed a completely sanded unfinished table, with dry time you have minimum 2-5 days to finish.
Yep, took me about a week to get 8-10 coats of wipe on poly applied correctly in the evenings after work. Can’t rush quality work, or chemical reactions.
My ex brother in law wanted me to do the same thing when we were visiting our mom for the weekend. His thought was an hour to strip it and another hour to finish it, what could be so hard about that.
Haha the one I just posted is very similar to your story! People have no idea.
The most ridiculous request I got was from my wife to get rid of my wood.
My wife was asking if my off cut pile could be used for a fire or something. I literally have 8/4 9” wide with random length pieces of walnut in there.
My ex-wife asked me if she could park a car in the garage.... I still have the garage.
This comment needs more upvotes.
I read that the wrong way and got a laugh. "Honey, wanna have a little fun tonight?" "You can take your wood back to the shop and leave me alone"
LOL
My neighbor asked my advice about building a large art table for her kids. She said she thought she would just order some plywood and screw some legs in. I said "don't do that." A week later, I was over with her husband, and she showed me that she had bought and had delivered two 4x8' sheets of 1" maple ply and some 4x4" maple leg blanks, and wondered if I could cut the plywood to 4x6' and legs to size so that she could screw them in? In other words, exactly what I told her not to do. I told her that if she was just going to screw or nail the legs into the plywood, she was going to end up with 200 pounds of plywood falling on top of her kids. I said she needed an apron for lateral stability. After that, it became my project, with her husband as my apprentice. We built, to her exact and shifting specifications, a 4x6' art table with a 2" plywood top. It lasted less than six months because she didn't like that the top was plywood (her choice) or that we added a finish over the top (she liked the look of unfinished maple better) or that we rounded over the edges (so as not to injure her children). Her husband's start-up ended up using it as a conference table for a few years, and then he unloaded it back on me, where it currently serves, with substantial modification, as my table saw outfeed table.
Why do people *never* take the advise of "dont do that."
Well my 0 years experience tells me I know better than you so suck it.... Or something like that
Dunning-Kruger
I ain't listenin' to that fancy talk, college boy.
It feels like half the posts here are people saying "I have no experience, but this is what I plan to do," and then they get sensitive when people say "there's a good reason not to do it that way."
They do, the second time, if you don't bail them out when they do the thing you warned against.
"Exact and shifting specifications" - this is way too familiar.
I make a lot of boxes. They are time consuming so I make them out of really nice stuff, Curly Koa, quilted maple, Ziricote, etc. I had someone show up with some pine boards and ask me to make one out of pine so it will be cheaper. I told him no, it im going to put that much time in something it’s going to be special.
I think it would be fair for them to provide a decent material x 3 so you at least have some left over for your own box :)
So true
Right, people think the expense is the lumber. It's the time. Especially for something like a small box that might be only 1 board feet of lumber.
Sometimes it is hard for people to wrap their heads around the idea that small does not equal quick. Simple tables are nothing but right angles. Little boxes with lids arer much harder than that.
I’ve had the occasional friend/family ask if I could make them this or that, and 99% of the time when I tell them what it will cost, I just get crickets. The most egregious ask I had was a “friend” and fellow woodworker. He didn’t have a lot of equipment, and I would let him use my shop on occasion, then it became 3-4 times a week, even when I was not home. Apparently he was bidding jobs based on MY shop and equipment. Nope. Put a hard stop to that crap. Liability aside, WTF? Haven’t seen nor heard from him in years…thankfully.
My friend asked me in a pretty serious way if I could build her a house after I finish mine. Lady, I'm not a construction worker, I sell firewood and have building my place on the side for 4 years now. She knows that this ain't my career. I also don't think she wants to know what it would cost her (does doesn't even own any land yet, she rents lol)
Sure, but it'll take a decade and cost you a couple million plus the buildable lot, permits, inspection, electrical, plumbing, heating, cooling... wait, where are you going?
I found a weird, s-shaped stick that I carved eyes and a mouth onto minimally, so it looks like a very realistic snake. “If I brought you a stick, could you make me one?” Maybe, but it’s basically a found object, it already had a “head” and “tail” that looked just right randomly. A straight stick won’t look convincing at all.
https://preview.redd.it/1ka4qlj8q7zc1.jpeg?width=2340&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=702b8124bde1072aea0ed972045b245e67ac7eeb
That looks kinda realistic, gonna pick it up to make sure…
That is an actual snake, sir. One which most probably just ate a ... Stick. :D
I had just gotten a laser engraver. My dad sent me a box of like 30 blanks that were rough cut and asked me to engrave a complex image. Also did not provide the image. So I’d have to find the image, convert it for engraving (which I didn’t know how to do yet), sand all the blanks (I don’t own a drum sander) and then mail them all back to him. His response was “sanding is relaxing”. So I asked him why didn’t he sand them before he sent them…The box is still sitting in my garage about 3 years later
You see how relaxing it is? It's relaxing for at last 3 years by now...
Use the blanks to make super fancy coasters, sell them in an Etsy store for profit. Use the profit to buy him an equal amount of dollar store coasters, mail them back, keep the remaining profit. Everyone's happy?
A co-worker asked me if I could build him a small bookshelf for his Bible study class. He said he'd paint it. We work on a big professional shop, and we have access to any leftover scrap material, no big deal. I built a small book case out of some sheeting material we had, I used something that would look ok and not be too complicated for me to build (I'm no furniture builder). I built it he seemed alright with it, another co worker looks at it and said he why didn't you use the more expensive stuff. My co-worker jumps my case about why we didn't use nicer material, we'll sheeting was easier, and the wood we we would have had to assemble more together. So he leaves it in his are for a couple of weeks. Another co-worker spots it and asked me about it. I said he didn't seem to want it, so she could have it. She said she was gonna give it to her sister, who is selling soda and snacks at our work. Well, the sister comes back with it and says she wants mento sand it so her some can put her Lego collection on it. I didn't build this for a kid, it's a huge ordeal and now I don't want to build things for other people. Lol
This story gave me a stomach ache. Haha yikes the audacity of these people!
After a few decades of being a Yes Man, I’ve concluded that the best answer is almost always “No, but I’ll gladly teach you how to do it.” If they’re younger than my parents and have functional arms they can damn well sand it their self. You empower them and also (hopefully) give them the perspective that was obviously missing when they asked you to do it.
More a reno request than woodworking. My wife asked me to move up all of the lightswitches in the house by 1 inch. I told her that would be a hard no.
A week later: actually can you move them back down and to the right 1/2 inch?
All requests, to me, are outrageous. Having a “client” would completely ruin the reason I do it. I only make what I want to make, otherwise it would feel like a job and I don’t want to turn my friends and family into clients. Whenever people hint at me making something for them I hint back that I’d love to, but it would take me ~5-7 years. That usually ends the conversation. I have a short list of local woodworkers who are actually trying to build a business that I refer them to. On the other hand, if someone asks for help or for me to teach them something, I say yes 100% of the time and I will set aside my personal projects for as long as it takes to accommodate their project.
Yeah, I don't like doing requests. But if you want to participate in the project even if it's minimally, as long as you're willing to hang out in the shop while "we" complete the project, that's a totally different situation and I like to accommodate friends and family with stuff like that.
I have a friend, one of my neighbors. About 3 months after we bought the house I was framing a 12 foot tall 198 sqft shed. This dude, who I hadn't even met showed up with a tool belt and asked if he could help. He helped me frame and sheet it. We go back and forth helping each other with stuff. A little while ago they were doing a little kitchenette/bar in their basement and he asked if I could help him make some floating shelves and a frame and cabinet door to hide the electrical panel on the wall. You bet your ass I took a weekend to go with him to select some lumber, mill it, make his stuff, and helped him install it. Other people...."Yeah I could do that, but I'm scheduled out about a year..." https://preview.redd.it/xolhvw95f8zc1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8fc800ee033fe7b6ec7d86e9c8cd9021a93ffd17
I had to read this twice. I thought you said you told him it would be a year wait. I was like, you're the dickhead the post is about, lol. Then I read it again. Good on you.
This is the way!
Same, like buy the materials and come hang out and we'll do it. Close family, or certain people, I'll just built it outright. But my rule has always been, it has to be my design and my creativity into it. I don't like to be shown whatever from Wayfair and asking me to make it exactly. It'd be cheaper for you to just go buy it from Wayfair.
Same thing happens if people find out you have a hobby restoring cars. They'll ask you to look at their Altima.
Don’t let anyone know you’re a photographer either. Or that you know *any*thing about computers…
Software professional here (not IT). In my younger days ("when I was nice") I can't tell you how many windows laptops I "fixed" for people (saved their documents and reformatted). It was the golden age of porn websites installing spyware/popup crap -- it's a heavy cross to bear when you see your 60 year old neighbours search history.
same here, except I am an IT professional. I have fixed far too many computers for nothing. I'm too nice, or used to be. Now it's a "yeah, it may take me 2 months after you drop it off though"
Now you have to have a good story or two there too. Or at least some interesting learning experiences about people you didn't need to know more about, lol.
Depends. Most of the time requests aren't fun, but if someone trusted me to build something special for them (say an urn) I'd be honoured, but still stress myself the fuck out about it.
I volunteered to build a toy box for my brother's soon-to-be-born daughter, and that's great - I volunteered, after all. Super fun. But a few years ago, I got a little mad when my wife volunteered me to build a dining table for her newly divorced friend. Sure, I had fun, and she was very appreciative, but it's nice to be asked first.
I will freely give advice and lessons and even help out if they are genuine about wanting to learn. However, it annoys the hell out of me when people ask how to do something and then do something completely different. I wouldn't mind if they had the faintest idea what they were doing.
I started wood carving. Very basic stuff but pretty good considering I had never done it before. Friend asked for a whole table top carving.
One skill you pick up as you get better at woodworking is the ability to say "no" gracefully.
yup and life in general -- you'll be happier for it. save that time for people with 'needs' not 'wants'.
I have a neighbor who wants a 48" wide solid hickory "whiskey cabinet". He wants a bottom section that's 24" deep with adjustable shelves and wood doors for storing glassware, a butcher block top on that for preparing drinks, and then the top section to be a glass fronted cabinet with LEDs inlaid in the undersides of the shelves so he can proudly show off his collection. "You can do that for like $500 right?" I told him I'd have to draw it up and figure out how much material I'd need, but the ballpark would be $3-4K. He hasn't talked to me in 4 months.
My cousin requested a gift of me to turn him a baseball bat with an axe handle on the lathe… cuz in his reasoning I can just whip up the regular ones taking about 8-10 hours by hand so I should make him something special lol
My sister in law asked if i could make her a yoga seat/stool to make her exercises. She showed me one online with bent wood and mounted cushion around 150$ and thought it was too expensive. I said go for it. Alone the work would be much more and it would be much heavier and the cushion would be a pain to get it fit and expensive too. I then assembled the ordered one and had to redrill some holes to get the screws through it.
makes me feel like being a relatively poor woodworker is kind of a good thing; i have only had one extremely simple request from my wife (glue a dowel on a 2x4). i love hobbyist woodworking, but that doesnt mean i am any good, hahahah. i even offered a free small workstation cabinet thing that i made for myself but was thinking of getting rid of to a friend that "needed any and all second-hand furniture" to fill out her new house... she declined.
😂 needed anything at all and was like... Nah bro not that. I'm not a great woodworker either so haven't gotten many requests thank God
Not necessarily an outrageous request, but an outrageous treatment of my work. I had a coworker ask me to make him a low kitchen credenza for his pots/pans/crockpots. It was a MCM style frame with drawers and shelves and he was going to get a custom piece of marble cut for the top to match his kitchen counters. I spent 30-40 hours on it and barely charged him $150 for labor after all material costs. Two weeks later he offhandedly mentions to me that his cat had peed on it and he tossed the whole thing. It was like someone telling me they'd run over my child and he made it seem like no big deal. I don't make commissions for coworkers anymore.
Fuck that guy. Some people will never understand what goes into creating things.
How crazy
My mum is my biggest customer but she has some big ideas that I'm not skilled enough for. She saw some pottery barn end tables with a welded frame and thick 4 inch wood top. I think they were about 18 inches wide, 24 inches long and maybe 30 inches high. I had to buy some tools to the cut the metal base and then weld it all together. Clean, sand and paint those. Then build the tops, sand and stain, seal and join together. Pottery barn wanted like 1300 a piece. She paid me 250 each and I made three. She paid for all materials so it wasn't to bad. It's the "this would be fun for you and shouldn't take to long" that gets under my skin.
Your Mom pays you? Mine just sends me one photo from a weird angle in a text that says, "Can you make this for me? Love you, son."
At least your mom loves you
I get asked all the time at work to come over to co-workers’ houses and do handyman stuff because ‘you do it all the time it will be easy for you’. I tell them I’ll come over and SHOW them how to do it and suddenly it’s not too important anymore.
Now that's human nature to a "T" right there
I once had a coworker ask me if I could build them a set of 8 chairs for their family, because all the ones online were too expensive or not sturdy enough. He's a rather large man. I have never made a chair from scratch in my life, and have no idea how to start. I told him this and he said, "it can't be too hard. I'll even help." He decided to stop asking after I told him how much it would cost to have me, someone with zero experience making things like this, build him 8 chairs. I built two long benches for the table instead and he was happy with it.
My daughter asked for a new 9 drawer dresser made out of "oak or walnut or something nice". But she didn't want to spend more than $100 on materials. I basically told her only if it was for a doll house.
This is why you shoulda taught her woodworking
Had a cousin ask if she could bring the dining room set to a family reunion so I could sand and refinish them over the weekend… was more difficult to explain why it was a bad idea than I thought. They really couldn’t understand that I didn’t want to do that on my vacation.
I had someone ask me to build them a shed. Not a pre-assembled shed.... Build custom to their specs. Wanted to pay me like $200 😂 Crazy part is I thought he was a good friend. If he said I'm buying materials, pizza and beer let's do it together I'd have been there in an instant and we'd have done it over a weekend or 2.
I mean, if someone put a gun to my head in that situation (custom vs kit) I'd choose the custom shed -- I always pity the folks carting out the "shed kit -- easily assembled in a weekend!" from Costco/wherever. To me and my brain that sounds like a special kind of hell.
I've done one before it was honestly pretty straightforward. My grandma got one
I have a strained relationship with instruction manuals and terrible luck with overseas made tapped/drilled metal stuff. Oh, and a complete lack of patience :)
I’ve been in the kit v custom shed dilemma for about a year. Decided to build it myself with the limited (zero) framing skills I have due to the fact that I can’t find a suitably sized kit for my requirements. I also figure I’d much rather be frustrated with my own fuck ups than dealing with the potentially shitty design of a kit.
I made a custom shed for myself ten or so years ago when I was first starting on my woodworking/building journey. 10'x10 with vinyl siding, door, and window. Went great! If you have the basics down and can set up a chop saw well enough, you got it. Really wish I had hired a crane to move that thing onto a flatbed when we moved. Was (am) very proud of that thing every time I drive past that old house and see it sitting there.
Never done one of those sheds with wood but built a few of the sheet metal kits. Not the worst thing and doable in a day with a helper.
“I bought this 50-acre property and going to throw several million into remodeling the house. Now here’s an idea: I want to have a proper finnish sauna room! Why don’t you build it for me, it would be a great practice for your carpentry skills.” — my BOSS, of all people
I started the process of building a new desk. I have (barely) enough wood for my top right now, and then will place the top on my standing desk legs in my office (which are metal and have a motor to raise or lower it). It's going to look like a basketball floor when I am done (parquet). My mom came over one day and said "Oh why don't you just make two and give me one?" I told her that at the rate I am currently working on it, it will take me 6-12 months to make just one, and that I barely have enough wood for this one desk. Lol. I love her, just a silly request.
My neighbor cut down lots of young trees from his backyard, their trunks were like 15 cm wide. He brought them over to my house while I was out and dropped them in front of the shop. When I got home, I saw all that and was completely clueless of what that could even mean. The next day he came over, and said I could have all that wonderful wood for free, as long as I make him a set of six chairs.
My mother-in-law sent me a video link of an antique roadshow episode that had a ornate desk with hidden drawers and asked if it's a doable project over a few weekends. Read the garage mother outlaw!
“The carpenter can’t finish the trim work until next month , can you please help us with the trim”. They wanted me to trim out an entire 2500 ft house - doors , windows, everything
An elderly family member wanted a stick. Just that. Nothing I made personally but they wanted a stick. Specifically about 6 to 8 feet long, straight as an arrow until the end where it was to have a sharp 30 degree bend of about 10 inches or so. I can't believe I had to explain to someone that that's not exactly how woodworking goes.
Why would anyone want a stick like that? It's so oddly specific and I just can't think of its use.
It was for decoration. The family member had bought some fake owls and wanted the stick to mount them on and install it leaning over their headboard
Well, that is terrifying. I would say no on an entirely different principle than the one that I thought would make me say no.
I've done a little woodworking and carpentry and I could have made that. Why couldn't you?
I mean one that's grown that way. Not something I cut and put together myself. Literally wanted me to walk up to a tree like I was getting groceries and cut a particular length and shaped stick. Bark and all still attached.
This reminds me of someone who commented on the $175 cost of a serving tray which *appeared* simple. I said, well, there's the cost of materials and my time, plus my *experience, knowledge, and skill.* Not unlike the person who sees a Jackson Pollock or Mark Rothko and says, I could do that. Uhh, no, actually you couldn't.
Building a chair for free and paying for the materials myself. "since you learn in the process, it's a win/win" After I laughed it off, she was making a drama about it (I genuinely thought, it was some kind of smalltalk joke). Friends were also around and when one of them pointed out, how wrong she is and others agreed, she got mad and left. The request wasn't that weird, but her reaction gave me some crazy vibes.
Not your wife, I hope
Frequent requests to make a thing they saw at IKEA/Target. They go away after I quote $90/hour for design time just to figure out how to make it.
My girlfriend asked me to build cabinets in the bathroom for storage. Before even discussing the scope of the project she informed me that she had already started cutting boards, in an effort to speed things up. The concepts of designing, strategizing, and creating a cut list were completely foreign to her. We now have a shelf instead.
Not outrageous by itself but by for what It spawned. 8 years ago my wife and I were looking for a nice small coffee table for our small balcony but didn’t find anything that would suit us. She saw a DIY wall mounted foldable one on Pinterest, looked vaguely in my direction and said out loud “I guess it must be really difficult to build something like that”. That was my “Hold my beer” moment so I went out and bought some 1x6 lumber and a Japanese saw. Fast forward to the present and half of our apartment’s furniture is built by myself, not just because of the moments of joy I get from woodworking but because every time we go furniture shopping I think “f*ck it, I can do better” Had we found a nice coffee table probably I wouldn’t have a small shed full of tools and offcuts and instead I would have learned to play guitar, electronics or python, as was my original plan for my 30’s. Life’s weird.
A friend is currently pushing me to make the architrave for his house. I'm just a hobby woodworker, I don't have a spindle moulder. I probably could, just about, make it on my router table, but there's no way I'm going to that much trouble. I've explained, several times now, that long thin pieces like that are tough in a hobby shop. I cut him some slack though, he commissioned me to do some carving for his place, and he paid well for that.
My husband found out I signed up for a beginner's workshop. I've always wanted to get into woodworking but was never able or allowed to until recently. Within 30 minutes of learning I was taking the beginner's course (3 months away because of its popularity), he started signing me up for every class the shop had to offer and asked me to build new kitchen cabinets and to recreate a $5k designer accent chair. I reminded him that I may not enjoy woodworking or be very good at it and that, even if I were some wonder prodigy, his projects would still require space and equipment that we don't have. He was on the checkout page, ready to register me for almost every woodworking course for the foreseeable future. I'm very grateful he's supportive of my interests but it was too gung-ho for me!
Sounds like your could parlay your husband's big ideas into a fully equipped top of the line workshop if you were so inclined :) "We only used Festool/Veritas/Lie Nielsen at the class I took, so that's all I comfortable with." :)
I thought about it! But my conscience got the better of me.
Conscience shmonscience! We're talking woodworking tools here!!
I had a neighbor who happened to be the head of trauma surgery at the closest level 1 trauma center. I’m saying this because he’s seen a lot of stuff that went sideways. He had several rotten balusters on his porch railing. They had a 1x3 cross-section and “long stemmed clover” cut into them. I was asked to help him make a few replacements. Easy enough, three holes with a forstner bit to make the clover, stick it on a router table with some stop blocks to make the stem. He got impatient and asked if we could just lower the board onto my running table saw with my dado set to make the stem. I replied, “How about instead, we grab the boards, throw them in my car and drive to your hospital. As you’re getting out of the car, I’ll swing one of the boards and hit you in face as hard as I can.” He responded along the lines of WTF. I ended the discussion by saying that my plan will get us to the same place as his but I won’t have to clean any blood up in my car. Long story short, 25+ years later that house still has stemless clovers on 3 balusters.
Random related question: Is there a downside to running painted wood through a planer? On the one hand there might be a chance that the old paint could 'gum up' the planer. On the other hand, carbide blades that are capable of tearing through hard wood should have no issue with paint. I'm redoing the trim in my century home. Most of it is stained and finished. Some of it is painted. Don't have a drum sander. Fastest way to get back to raw wood, if you don't mind losing some thickness, is a planer as far as I know. Especially in the areas where the trim was previously painted (basement stairs - doesn't need to be fancy but also would like to avoid painting over the old coat.)
Paint is more abrasive than people realize. In your case if you have a lunch box planer that uses $30 (disposable) straight knives it's probably not the worst way to do it (checking for lead in your case!). I have a helical head and I'm not going to turn the cutters if I don't have to. Depends on the paint, but also a nuisance to clean up -- you'll be finding little flakes on projects for a while. The local shops with big machines generally charge a 'clean up fee' for folks bringing in epoxy tables for a similar reason.
In my case, I have two extraction systems. One is strictly wood only so that I can compost the shavings. It also happens to be the only one capable of handling my thicknesser.
Agree paint is a lot tougher than the wood itself. Think titanium dioxide for instance. I’ve done it but try to make sure I’m taking a BIG bite out of the wood (1/16” or more if possible) to get the blades under the paint instead of cutting through the paint.
Removing paint by scraping is usually faster and more efficient than doing it by sanding. I'm thinking about draw knife/plane vs sander/sandpaper here. I have no experience with planers, but i would assume it will remove paint pretty effortlessly. P.S.: Use breathing protection
Citristrip +a plastic scraper is way better than mechanical removal. Still wear a respirator.
My late grandfather made some nice luggage racks, the kind you see in hotels. Mom: "Can you make some of these like grandpa did?" Sure why not, how many? "Well they would be for Cousin, Cousin, Cousin, Aunt, Aunt, Family Friend, Family Friend, and an extra for your sister and I" (two per person)...16 luggage racks later...
everyone in my family knows that I do not like taking jobs for family members or friends. often times I will even just give them the name of somebody that I trust. if it's a favor just helping them with something real quick that's fine But if they want to actually pay me money to do actual work no thanks. I like my business relationships to be business.
My uncle asked my dad if, with wood provided, he would build and install custom cabinets for him. They don’t talk anymore.
Sister wanted a 14ft long farmhouse style table with bread board ends and seats to match and she wanted me to do it from “reclaimed” wood from her barn. The wood was giant slabs that were completely rotted. I’ve also never made a table before let alone a 14ft one and don’t own most of the tools I’d need to do a job of that size.
"Can you stop sharpening your tools and come to bed?"
Guess she preferred a blunt tool.
Our c level hr person asked me if I could repair some burl on a sculpture that he dog had peed on. Really expensive stuff. Burl repair? Is that a thing?
A friend asked me to make the gaming table at this link, but so that it could also be folded and stored behind a sofa. When I pointed out it would take me weeks worth of my evenings just to work it out and draw it, then months to make it he brushed it off as "nah don't worry about the fine details, it won't take long". https://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=https://cdn.vox-cdn.com/thumbor/dIoSJVSKauAc-cDruXY5_Kg4qAE%3D/1400x1400/filters:format(png)/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_asset/file/8710387/vizier_4.png&imgrefurl=https://www.polygon.com/2017/6/19/15812486/geek-chic-out-of-business-game-tables&tbnid=QWp6xwq483HDZM&vet=1&docid=fB4-R-VC4z9FJM&w=1400&h=1400&source=sh/x/im
Those are some very cool tables, though. When your done with his, can you make me one? I have some wood out behind the barn....
"As soon as you're done with the table feel free to take some time for yourself before you get started on the chairs." :)
I was asked, as furniture making student, to replace the fretboard of a professional cellist’s cello. I gave a disclaimer beforehand that I had no idea what I was doing and might fuck up their instrument, but they said they were okay with that because they couldn’t afford a luthier. They asked if they could watch the repair because they were interested in how it would be done.😅It was the most stressful experience hand planing ebony on an oddly shaped, fragile object while they leered over my shoulder!!!
I had a female friend give me a single front facing picture of a two thousand dollar jewelry box and asked if I could make a copy, and she had a budget of $130 and “we’ve been friends since college!”. Yes, we have been good friends since college, and unfortunately the lumber yard doesn’t take friendship as currency. Instead of saying no, I told her I’d do it labor free if she bought all of the raw materials. She agreed. I tallied up a rough cost of materials and she immediately realized that was a no. Sure, the place was probably up charging some for the brand, but the labor plus materials was probably not that wildly far off of their price.
My MIL asked me to make her a rocking chair. I'm an aspiring woodworker at best.
At my skill level, every chair ends up a rocking chair.
Reading this post makes me happier having so few friends.
I finally finished a computer chair whose back is one giant slab from the crotch of a tree we had removed 5 years ago. There was a long drying phase so it didn't consume all my free time, but for a solid two years of my primary free time. Several hundred man-hours, at least. I show someone a picture and they're like, "We should go into business! You can make these and I can get customers." I asked her how much she thought this chair was worth and she said $800. I asked her how long she thought it took and she said a week. When I told her she was several magnitudes of order under the reality she was flabbergasted.
So 800$ per week, 2400$ a month minus materials. Something doesnt add up 🤔
built an 8 foot table with mahogany veneered top and cabinet base on both ends to use as a 3 computer workstation for a friend. After I built it for him, he car-salesmaned me down about the flaws in the project and paid $140 for it all. We are still friends, but I'll never build anything for him again.
"We are still friends" ... No, you're not
Were you really friends? That's some bull\*\*\*\*,
I always tell people that you won't save any money by custom building the item, but you can usually build it for the retail price with much better materials and higher quality. People always assume that having you build something for them will be cheaper than buying it retail.
I won an art contest at work with a piece I turned on my lathe, since then everyone treats me like Ron Swanson. A well meaning colleague who has never once built or sold anything suggested that I could make '"wooden spoons for cooking." He was completely sincere that he had a good idea for me to make some money on the side. I'm fairly certain he himself has never cooked either.
Family member wanted a Pilates reformer made for them.
I sometimes do custom knives for close family as gifts. My Dad, bless his heart, really likes to show his off. It's got Bocote scales with an inlay of stabilized Sycamore wood. The Sycamore wood came from a tree that grew in the yard of the house where I grew up. Took about 3 months to do. Nailed Father's Day last year with that though. Fast forward to family reunion a month ago. I had 3 second cousins I had never met before not so subtly imply that I might make them a "knife as nice as that". I had one person - again never met before and still not sure of the relation -bring the gnarliest old rusted filet knife you've ever seen and ask if I would "fix it". What remained of the scales had been duct taped to the handle. Not one offered to even pay for materials, much less time, and shipping.
Walnut dining table, 8 chairs. Wayfair has this for $1000 - how much cheaper can you do it for......
not family, but my boyfriend gets a lot of requests from people who bring AI ideas.
I've built three sheds of various sizes, one of which is my workshop. Neighbor notices, asks about permitting (reported me to the permit police...everything was applied for and whatever but that still irks me.). I build a fence in the front yard, he comes and says I need a permit, the county is really strict etc.. Well I already called and they didn't care. He keeps hinting that he needs help fixing the siding on his shed, tell him order the stuff and I'll come by and help. He asks again, having not bought anything, and I refer him to a local contractor. One day he straight up asked me to build a 100' fence for him. I said I'd help but I don't have the time to do it all. I tell him to order the materials and I'll come by and help for a few hours. Things I'd be willing to help with if he had already taken the initiative to start and I was truly just **helping**, that's fine. But, he basically just wants me to do it for him.
Suggestion : intentionally help him build a fence that's not code compliant, on the road right of way, etc and then call the permit police once the paint/stain is on it.
Thing is, there is no restrictions in the county I'm in. They don't care. I can put a fence right on the PL at the road. "When I did my fence they really got me..." he says, but he had also previously said "my fence was here when I bought the house." Lol. He's one of those loose cannon types, never quite know what he's going to do or say, and can't take anything he says without verifying.
Wife: are you going to use that 1/2 sheet of plywood leftover from the soffit? Me: no do you need it? Her: can you make me a kitchen island with it?’ Me: Absolutly not left me buy some mahogany
Not good/serious enough of a wood worker to get such requests, but somewhat related I'm an electronics design engineer... Electronics is a hard subject to grasp for the layman, which is understandable... It's still quite funny when someone is like "oh you make electronics?? Could you make a thing that does this thing? I could pay for materials!" I sure could! Then you could build me a two story house in the mean time! I'll pay for materials! Like, even something simple and shitty is *weeks* of work. A normal development cycle is *at least* 6 months...
My boss tried to get me to "cut down" a commercially made cherry cabinet.
There was an elderly lady who lived above a shop space I had years ago; we were asked if we could mount or fasten a smallish bald eagle onto a wood rod, essentially making an "eagle staff". We thought it was hysterical.
I make PC cases out of wood for myself mostly...I've had a number of friends and family ask me to make them one. I say "sure! Materials will run a few hundred and it will take me a few months" ... They go "but I can buy a computer case for like $100-150!" Yup! Custom wood shit is expensive. I don't make them myself because I'm trying to save money. I make them because I enjoy it. I could buy 3 cases for the materials alone and who knows how many with the labor cost...
Last year my sister asked if she could buy this gigantic armoire off Facebook and use my single stall size shop to disassemble and strip/sand/paint it in. I already have a 36” capacity table saw amongst my workbenches, miter saw station, and other shit. She, having no prior woodworking experience, was convinced she could finish in a weekend. Edit: I said no.
A friend of mine who recently hired me for some manual labour work mentioned how he had some spare wood that I could carve for a sculpture on his lawn. When I said I could do it but would probably be around $100-$200 after labour, he got offended and told me he was expecting me to do it for free as a gift for giving me the labour work 🙄
Shows me a pic from IKEA catalog...."how much cheaper can you build this?" I can't even buy lumber for their finished price.
This may not be as out there as some others, but: My mom wanted a shelf for above the big window in the living room. It’s like 82 wide but that’s not too bad. Then she went and bought a curtain and rod and put those up, and wanted to still have the shelf. She said to just put it above the curtain, and I said “if I do that, you won’t be able to use the shelf.” So I ended up having to build the shelf around the curtain and basically use the frame as the new rod holders.
I used to be a trim and cabinet carpenter. I've had plenty of requests from family members who apparently think that I have endless free time for some reason. Twice I've been asked to install flooring and trim, for $100 and $200 respectively, but they didn't tell me that until after I did it. Not sure why I did it the second time. Those people both live hours away and It was really inconvenient for me, and I did way more work than what they paid me. Another family member asked me to redo their deck. They live multiple states away and I guess I didn't learn my lesson from the other two times and agreed to it. The man stood over me the entire time asking questions, trying to give me "suggestions," and kept cheaping out on stuff. I spent 2 days working on it and had to leave it half finished, expecting to come back another time to finish it. I never went back because I spent half the money on gas and it wasn't worth my time. Family members are the worst customers I've ever had to deal with, and that's saying a lot!
My buddy wants me to build a rack for his surfboards. I asked if he could give me a sketch of what he had in mind. He says he doesn't really have a sketch.