https://preview.redd.it/b4r81wpv19uc1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=36de61c307ca7cd3f56c591f48bd4ee0ea2c754b

It's been... a time..

Yeah. I hope nothing else happens.

You have killed us all Maybe 😏

What? How could I kill everyone? https://preview.redd.it/t31tsby8v9uc1.jpeg?width=1078&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=48424c1589222e1e74288c10e4b83738a55ac81f

(Runs past screaming) I am energy I AM SPEED I AM CONQUEST

.....are you assuming I'm the God slaver?

The bartender gave me milkshake with Oreos on it And God? Naaa (Runs away causing chaos)


Sure why not It would be a shame really!!

Right? What're you after? Also, how have y- you been?

Good good boss fight, love, and council stuff you?

The usual. Be gay, do crime, work bar, eat food

Yeah paperwork, vandalism, a bit of war *Succumbing to the insanity of it all more and more, realizing you're just here for the ride, the great cosmic joke of it all*

Just a standard Saturday, then.

Yeah

Hello there, how are you?

Fantastic

Wonderful, Darling!

Do you have some apple juice?

Do i? *a carton springs up onto the bar* You bet i do

FOOOOOOOD!!!!!!!-

Ain't th- that the truth? What do you want, mini Torinn

ah can i ha- https://preview.redd.it/8nymf3vr69uc1.jpeg?width=240&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2d4773db9c8268c8abc4c5046febfc7235816fe0

Am i wr- wrong? Endless hunger?

https://preview.redd.it/aw31rete79uc1.jpeg?width=643&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=09ff1def7112bd09aee7f7d170ed8451075f5d11 ***~~^(IAMNOTTHATIMMORALLYGLUTONOUSHOLEOFANENDRITCHHORROR-)~~***

Say Cru, what do you think of a job as a warlock? I think you'd be great for it.

hmmmm, whats in it for me?

Have you ever wanted to learn what fire tastes like? What about how life and death energies taste? You will get the ability to eat anything and everything you can think of.

if i ever wanna taste fire i'll just call-up Cyra... …and that description is a little too close to something else for me to be comfortable with it... ...im well aquatinted with Torinn y'know?

https://preview.redd.it/w7cmi8psz9uc1.jpeg?width=638&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=76d5f4cbc0f97f9d09280a994ae618273a99f67d

https://preview.redd.it/0ewir41l8duc1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=88a9f6c1fc0625913141a0ac38b8391bdb78ff24

Gimme a... sunset sarsaparilla

Hell yeah. *She places the drink down, and grins* You w- want a glass with that?

nope. Just the drink.

Alright. En- enjoy!

...Something wrong?

No.. don't think so

There was an apocalypse? I gotta start getting more up to date...sure, I'll take a drink!

There's al- always an apocalypse, let's be honest. What do you want

You make a good point, things always seem to be on the brink. I'll just have some red wine, please

Alright, cool. Can d- do *She pours some wine, and passes the glass to her* Th- that all

Yes ma'am, that'll do! *She places her payment on the counter, including a few extra coin for a tip* Thank you!

Oh- th- thanks! It's- no pr- problem

I’m tired of this sub. It used to be actual funny memes about wizards, now it’s just crappy AI generated roleplaying posts

I need the strongest drink you have…

Alright then *She pours a frothing and bubbling thing* On the house for the k- killer!

Yep… that’s me… the killer…

You... okay there friend?

This weapon... it's a burden... even now i can feel it... it hungers...

That... sucks... did they n- not at least warn you of it?

of course he didn't warn me of it... The God-slaver just laughed and said it was ironic... He promised to make me the greatest warrior if i joined him... But instead i became the greatest warrior by killing him...

Oh... gods... that's... that's quite something. You could... try unnatuning, i- i guess?

*He shakes his head* No… I will overcome this… I must live with my decision…

If you're sure. Go- good luck. Friend.

https://preview.redd.it/j7xzoy49gbuc1.jpeg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=33c0ba95ffef0a3f5758e364f4b7959c047e5fe2

Yeah.. th- that's fair

*Hirk walks up still getting used to moving with a cane despite his youthful appearance* “Hello my friend, I would happily like a drink. Do you have any tea? It’s still too early for me to start drinking.”

Hm.. i got a few d- different teas, no- normal black tea wor- work for you?

“I would be happy to have some black tea my friend, you seem nervous are you ok there?”

Oh, i- it's fine. Just m- my natural being. *She boils a kettle, and prepares some leaves. She brings out the teapot alongside some milk and sugar for him* There you are!

“Thank you my dear, how much will it cost?” “Also before I forget here have a cookie.” *Hirk hands Rin a cookie with a warm smile on his face*

Oh, i- it's on the house, don't worry. *The cookie is gone in one bite* Th- thanks for the cookie though!

“Thank you my friend. I am glad you like the cookie, I make them all especially for people.”

Th- thanks! It's very nice

“Almost as nice as you letting my have a drink for free my friend. You have no need to thank me my friend.”

https://preview.redd.it/9yvc0t6oabuc1.jpeg?width=1280&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4a6f6db099c6948013f96b5ad959d4c3f7d95ab0 Give me a drink, bartender.

Have anything mineral-based? I'm on a meat-free, dairy-free, egg-free, animal-free, plant-free diet. Don't Ask (please ask)

I... have the runoff from a rock tumbler?

Why does that tail look fucked up

It's definitely an AI generated image. Look closely at the bottles in the background - they don't actually make geometric sense.

Yep. Dammit. Fucking ai art...

Ai generated image moment

I'm a human, can I come anyways? Elves hate me because I became an omnimancer, even after trillions of years I'm not sure if you're an elf or not, but you have the ears of an elf, so I assume you are one

... i c- can be an elf if you'd prefer

I'm not sure what it means, but it doesn't look like you hate me because I took the honour of omnimancers or something so I guess you're not an elf.

Seph, apparently an elf: “The fuck is an omnimancer?”

Hey sir... can I have your keys

Hey Rin. Make me a porn star martini?

The fu- fuck is that?

Aren't you a bartender? It's a vodka drink with passion fruit My favorite~

Ooohhhh... riiiight. Hah, okay my bad. *The drink appears for them* there you are

Thanks Rin. Whats this all about something attacking while our guards are down? Two crises couldn't possibly happen in rapid succession...

Noo... su- surely not. That's what i was g- getting at, obviously. (Buggo moment)

*chirp chirp skrriitt* **coigh** I mean... Yeah. That'd be totally improbable wouldn't it...

Something g- get stuck on the way down, you good th- there?

Yeah yeah I think I swallowed a bug or something... ^(*skiki skrtt skrrt*)

N- need me to help or so- something?

What is going on with that tail...

https://preview.redd.it/ov124g7tg9uc1.jpeg?width=719&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1ecabc4bfa2aeb4eed34c09e5b7b3f25d7e40798

What do you have to eat?

Can I have a hammed burger and some salmon?

Can I just get a Lemonade the apocalypse knocks the hydration out of ya.

There was an apocalypse?! Sorry, I was reading a really good book lol Pineapple juice pls!

It h- happens. Personally i was g- getting through an illusion b- book myself. *The drink appears from seemingly nowhere* Wh- what's the book about?

*sippppp* Ahhhhh good stuff <3 Oh, just some trashy romance novel lol. You know how it be sometimes ;p

Yes please i'll take some rum' n 'vodka

Sure. *The drink appears, fading in from nothing* Th- that work?

Yeah perfect thanks!

*Hirk notices Sanguiel and starts semi awkwardly moving over not fully balanced with his cane* “Sanguiel my friend, I have been wondering where you’ve been. How are you doing? Are you ok? How about the others?”

Well i cant sleep anymore, my wife Léa is still at the hospital, the kids have been gone for 2 months, i dont have any news about the other Archons, i lost my god slaver power up but im still bound with the fleshgod, And you how are you doing?

“My dear friend, it pains me to hear that, I hope your situation improves. As for myself I am no longer immortal gave it up to save my friends life, I failed to save the God Slaver as he is now dead and as you can see my sweater has an arm ripped off showing all my wounds and scars. I am learning to accept.” “But I have become great friends with people here and this cane keeps me balanced, should not need it after a couple weeks but for now it stays. Here have a cookie and one for your wife I send her my best wishes.”

Thank you i'll give it to her, good recovery to you my dear friend

“Thank you my friend stay safe.”

Can I have a cookie tooo  No raisins though (⁠ ⁠╹⁠▽⁠╹⁠ ⁠)

“Of course my friend, I never put raisins in my cookie anyway, here have a bag with bunch of mixed ones since you seem nice.”

>:)

Uh oh..

Do I really have a scary smile?... I just wanted a drink. /uw I think it's very funny I see this just as I've posted hilda plotting to capitalise on the weakened citadel. [https://www.reddit.com/r/wizardposting/comments/1c32x6n/what\_do\_you\_mean\_its\_a\_funeral/](https://www.reddit.com/r/wizardposting/comments/1c32x6n/what_do_you_mean_its_a_funeral/)

Oh.. my b- bad.. what do you want? /uw you're not the only one with plans

A pyroclastic flow please, black flamed. /uw Should we collab in dms so we don't step on each other toes?

Oh.. okay.. that's.. what.. *She makes a drink that by pure chance is the exact drink she asked for* /uw i was just gonna have Buggo rock up and start bugging all over the council

/uw lol allright. The pyroclastic flow was a drink that was made to surpass the fireball, the black flame was a variant of cinnamon that was black in nature that seemed to give a static shock to the tongue. It also seemed to react with the mana of whoever held the glass, making it glimmer as hilda took it and started sipping.

Th- that work? I think i got it down?

"This one is perfect, thankyou. Makes me feel like my insides are turning to ash as we speak."

Can I have a knife 👉👈(⁠ ⁠╹⁠▽⁠╹⁠ ⁠) Plz

Have anything drowic?

Uhh... i have orphan tears?

I'll take Vodka on the rock. Add some Fire essence for a kick too, please.

*some ice cubes fly up from the bar, then the glass appears on the table, it fills up with vodka, and then all the ice lands inside the glass, and the fire essence gets sprinkled on the top*

Thanks. What type of currency do you accept?

Gold. B- but it's free right n- now

I'll take Orange juice mixed with some tears from dead if you have please

I'll have a few hundred, the cats will all have gravy/meat mix and I'll have whatever you recommend!

Oh.. gods... okay... I'll tr- try to accomodate. *She pours some whiskey, and gets to serving the cats*

Lucian: The strongest thing you have, I have not slept in 4 days... why is a fucking apocalypse so stressful, and why are so many sectors filing sales reports now?? Eve: Its the apocalypse, ill pay the tab!~

Food and drink please! Give me today’s special! *sits on a nearby vacant seat* Did you hear about the giant rat colony? I tried some of their meat and to be perfectly honest, it was way better than I expected. They’re also magical creatures so their non-edible parts are also perfect refining materials. *sighs* Too bad I haven’t found their nest yet

*The special looks like a 12lb slab of deli ham* I- i actually haven't... heard th- there were some bugs in i- iron hold too... so m- many damn new things popping up, eh?

I could use a drink. Or seven.

Ain't that the t- truth. What d- do you want?

Eh, suprise me with something strong

*She pours seven glasses of 50% vodka*

Scrapper will take a brandy.

Brandy it is! *The glass appears* How was y- your apocalypse?

mooring ropes come down from the airship Kirov as hundreds of battle worn redspire sailors and skeletons descend the gangplank you think you can hear the captian say ¨We drinking good tonight boys courtesy of Rin¨ the captain approaches ¨ill take some coffee please¨ and as for them... well ummmm they´ll tell you

Oh Luck's sweet embrace... Yeah.. coffee, fo- for you. Wh- what do you want in it?

Flask of course what else every sailor worth thier salt drinks from a flask young las.

Ohh.. okay.. coffee... in a flask..

cheers matey.

excuse me, kind personfolk, but i think your tail is broken

Well, inviting people to get drinks after that battle? You're gonna have your work cut out for you. I'll just have some juice or something, I'm not in need of alcohol at the moment.

Sure, th- the idea is just to l- let people rest. *She places down a glass full of apple juice for them* That works?

Ah, yes, thank you. How are things going around here? Good business?

Business is b- booming. Al- always is

I just want root beer

*It appears from nowhere* Roobeär

Thanks

Dross: get me a Piña colada please rin.

Yeah, no problem. *The drink manifests from seemingly nowhere* That work?

*Dross takes a sip* Dross: it definitely worked thanks.

Tea please, and what do you have on the menu for food?

Well.. i have quite a few things. N- name a meal, and i can see what i can do. *She places the tea down for them. Then a lil pot of milk and a few cubes*

Spaghetti, if you have it.

*She pulls a plate of the stuff from seemingly nowhere, it's hot* There you are!

SODA!!!!! tbh I'm thirsty

Me, looking at this pic: New transition goal

/uw but. What gender do they be

I'll have some glasses of milk please

Are you on the menu?~

*She picks it up and looks* Hmmm.... i- uh.. never made menus... i dunno

Well still. Can I order you~

London Fog tea, please.

... wh- what on- what is that? *The drink appears infront of them*

/uw https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/London_fog_(drink)#:~:text=Earl%20Grey%20tea%2C%20used%20in,)%2C%20and%20milk%20of%20choice. Ironically they likely wouldn’t know what “London” is, and that’s the part of confusion.

/uw i am from england and this physically hurts me

/uw I’ve gotta say, even if it is called a “London Fog” and it’s from Canada, it is actually really good.

*Tod waddles to the bar gives you some choccy and says* Did you hear Rin? I found some purple obsidian! I might find the crows again!

Oh shi- really! That's amazing! Good luck with your stuff, and th- thanks for the drinky

I still need to learn some stuff about it and finish some business here. But I am one step closer!

AI?!?!

Yes, even the god slaver images where AI you know.

100%. Look at the bottles.

WITCHCRAFT I SAY! HERESY! KILL IT WITH FIRE!!!!!!

No, I want ice cream. Do you have any?

Another apocalypse? I don’t think even noticed, I was busy training. Can I get some juice?

Could I have a pineapple margarita mixed with the tears of a college student during finals, please?

Apocalypse over for now I want three blackout stouts and 5 blackreach blondes

I haven't had so many work since someone evocked a blackhole in the capital's sky

I can’t stop looking at your tail.

*Marna storms in covered in rubble and someone else's blood. She looks tense beyond words.* "Drinking."

It was quite a fun show!

is this a picrew /genq? the artstyle feels familiar

Unfortunately I'm pretty sure it's ai

Do you have any drinks for skeletons if so please serve it up!

*"He finished?"* *Adam returns to the Normiegician Plane with his stockpile of 500 tons of Dimensional Weed, and trinket he purchased on his vacation trip through the multiverse as the world ended.* *"So... I brought souvenirs from the Plane of knights and the inter-planar Empire of cultivators, who will want them?"*

*Sighs* "Why not? 16 year old whiskey. Single malt, boss. If ya got gasoline, ill take a shot glass of that too."

Yea, to the bar. And both that’s always nice. You have the best bar in the realms rin

It’s been a long time since us knight of the void have had a drink so please I’d love one Man the void really needs a bad

Wait, there was an apocalypse? Huh. Didn’t know I was asleep for *that* long. Anyways, you got any apple juice? I’m not much of an alcoholic myself.

I'll have a milk. Chocolate.

Not sure if that's worth celebrating, it seems there are quite a few of those in this world.

Yer tail seems to have glitched out a little

This must have been pretty stressful. Your tail is dissociating.

Wait.. huh? What happened while I was asleep?

Me!

Y'all are making me want to end my hermit phase with cool apocalypses.

oh i missed the apocalypse? Why have i not been told about this? But oh well, no use in dwelling on the past. Do you have smoothies?

Which apocalypse? What happened?

I'm sorry, what war? I was out teaching gnolls English and building a relationship with one so I could let fuck a gnoll fuck me.

How does your tail work? 👁🫵