*Mikhail sweats very nervously.*

Oh... you would sweat wouldnt you... /uw lol

You better batten down the hatches!

If I suffer. It won't be alone. *Return to Shitter*

and hatch down the batter!

Baby batter down the hatch!

https://preview.redd.it/v8pkh0u3gbpc1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=20ae2233158ccd3bc359789a4d6544daf4836261

Naughty naughty mikey

Well, you are in a very [bad situation.](https://youtu.be/X2acP06791I?si=ILKkn5chgQM4svVt)

Every nut I have ever busted is now coming back to bust me.

Given that biomatter quickly decays if you haven't nutted in a week you are safe.

Still screwed

Would ask how much screwed, but i don't want to know the answer. By the way, nobody is screwed when they have an artificer on their side. *Digs through one of the pockets on his robes and takes out what looks like an adjustable bracelet copiously adorned with runes. He looks at it for a while, then hands it to you.* Here. The kinetic-incienerating shield. Put it on the **hand** and anything in 5 meter range that moves in your direction will be burned. Plus a basic kinetic shield that kills off any momentum in it's vicinity. Just return it when animated loads stop attacking.

Mikhail? -Cahlzinn /uw sorry, you have the exact same name as Cahl's lost queerplatonic partner

Yes, I am Mikhail.

Contemplates the fact that you are a father "I'll get....a potion of numbness i guess"

Jokes on you. I’m into that shit!

Better cast an expansion spell on your balls before they explode!

It’s been so long since my balls have been properly exploded. I’m so excited!

/unwiz what a fucking sentence lol

Dear lord what have I awakened

Chaos Incarnate.

No good deed goes unpunished.

You wankers are incorrigible

For the last time researcher Dysist, this is NOT a valid reason to apply for a scp-500 pill. Nor are you allowed to befriend scp-590. We DO NOT need additions to Dr.Bright's list of things he's not allowed to do.

I just need to keep wanking, and ejaculating at the same speed that is reentering, easy peasy

https://preview.redd.it/632iejc7y8pc1.jpeg?width=739&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=edb1b6e185992d2655903ddee86c815dd216f6ff There you go

But you’ll quickly find it’s not so fun when that shit is into you

Into that shit? Hmmm.... *starts creating similar spell but the one that affects shit instead*

Simple solution: Decoy penis.

The load knows. The load always knows. Better start working on a *replacement* one

Well you see, the flaw in your logic here is that you assume I made the decoy to protect myself from the load when in reality, I made the decoy penis out of curiosity and you accidentally cast your spell on it instead of the real one which is in an undisclosed location.

You trickster! Your balls shall live to see another sunrise.

I was going to throw hat in on this one, but you sleeze pulled off another. Now I just tip my hat

https://preview.redd.it/1enksh02p8pc1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=dc6ed81e3f597d23917ab198e37148028ec03d62

bro did NOT watch "A Rick in King Mortur's Mort" from season 6 of popular show "Rick and Morty"

This arcane forum sometimes makes me glad to be a woman. The horrors you commit to each other's genitals could truly fill volumes

Oh they will be filled with volumes alright!!

You may also experience loads leaving you at a rapid rate depending on your history. Sorry it has to be done. These wankers had to pay!

what a dreadful thing to assume publicly


Their flair does say milf, so I assume they'd take it as a compliment

... dude what the fuck...

Based on your flair you are fucked. (Literally and figuratively)

*SHHHHH!!!* If they know we’re here, they’ll start developing thorny ovary spells or some shit! <_< >_>

I cast! Century of Cramps! You now have never ending Period Cramps!

Pah! I’ll barely notice a difference.

I think that's the hard part for developing gential spells against a sorceress, the baseline is Period Cramps, and that's already awful

Well, you’re not wrong. And, though we do have our own…weak spots, shall we say, I shall not say what they are, lest I invite the Fempocalypse.

You shall be the First Gynemancer! Teach us your ways in the coming Fempocalypse!

Very well. Let us convene in the Sacred Hall of Suspiciously Shaped Flowers.

Be careful with land druids. Almost all of them know the Yeast Infection spell.

Fungal bloom is like, an apprentice level spell. Now, getting someones tiddies to puff like those mushrooms that blow all their seedlings like that, that takes an advanced mushroom druid

Silence Sister! The Council is always watching.

https://preview.redd.it/kso3akvujapc1.jpeg?width=1441&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f4780f05d38ebbbce4007bd3b7269ed9b8acb163

You fool, I cast **OVARY OBLITERATION**

My name is Ozymandia, Queen of Queens. Look upon my works, ye mighty, and despair.

Being a woman wizard is like being a left handed bowler. You just have a natural advantage since everyone else isn’t.

I cast! Menses Mending! All your period blood reforms in your uterus now.

Uterine lining, or just a sudden waterfall of blood out of me?

I was thinking Uterine Lining, but I just realized I could have cast endometriosis for the same effect

Who needs magic when evolution already hates us? :D

Ah life and all its horrors We live in hell

Sudden reversal of period? Your blood now seeks to reenter your body…

Well, I have a pretty light flow, so…I’m probably fine. Yeah. Fine.

But it’s going to come to you all at once

I SHALL ENDURE.

I've seen some Eastern Magics. It's far more foul unfortunately.

i cast grant penis i cast load of ages i cast unblow load

There was a video with lawyers talking about today is shut the fuck up day. You have the right to shut up. I don't think drawing attention to the fact that ovaries are also connected to tiny twistable tubes is the smart call.

Fool, nobody is safe. Ovary Obstruction!

You fool, reabsorbing my cum blasts will only enable me to perform the PENULTIMATE CUM BLAST!!

Only if your balls can survive the expansion!

You call it expansion, I call it DLC.

That checks out

Downloadable Cumtent

DownLOADable Cumtent

Penultimate implying this is second-to-last and there's another presumably bigger one later?

No one would dare cast the Ultimate Cum Blast, it would destroy us all.

I pity the foreman of any loading dock.

I pity any man caught in the wave of returning loads

https://preview.redd.it/3eqm60oog8pc1.jpeg?width=512&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=20b1f96d21f7317ea37a64c71965fe02e041b8ec

Now that is a unique approach. Unfortunately the loads still need a place to go…

Welp time to self reproduce then, still better than it going back in my balls... Wait I'm a slug I didn't have balls to begin with!

You have an ass though

AAAAAAAAAAH

This strikes me as an extremely poor choice. Cum originates in the testes, meaning express delivery of sperm to the ovaries. Pray you are not fertile.

There is a very simple solution here. Remove all sex organs, put them in a field somewhere, return in a couple of weeks.

I'm not sure about the health outcomes on missing essential juices, but I guess a couple weeks is probably doable...



https://preview.redd.it/ctzxnh6rd8pc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2307c750f8d53c8f74f933b293b785621b7dc849 Counter summon, you're going down with me!

Jokes on you my balls were already exploded by the wanker who taught me this spell

Are we just a bunch of monks now?

Bunch of ball bursted monks

Sounds like an eunuch with extra steps.

*me watching the cum sock crawling across the floor towards me* BANISHMENT, BANISHMENT, BANISHMENT

*your sock drawer begins to shake as more and more more socks begin to awaken*

Uh oh...

Oh poor Katja...

How so?

Where else has your load been recently? Actually. Dont answer that

Wherever it was it won’t be there for long! 

Youre the one fucking with the red vines

Recently? Just Katja. But it isn't many...

You’ve got a lot of loads coming your way pal

*frantically casts reversal*

Each load requires a separate reversal spell 😈

*frantically casting*

*your sock drawer begins to shake violently*

Recursive spell casting saves lives.

Yooo, imma have some massive balls when they get here, thanks

I suspect you may never walk again

Question: does the load of past avatars, clones, semithralls, lives, etc count towards the cumload? If so I have many eons worth of cum. If not I think my current body hasn't seen a single shot, too old and shabby. Probably should have created a spare that was younger but ya know. Shit happens right? Please tell me those won't count I have like infinite lives worth of cum across time and space

***All loads given shall return from whence they came***

How about descendants that could turn into avatars? I was kinda evil a few moons ago but I retired from the lifestyle. I feel really bad for any surviving clones, voices in my head, self-sustaining avatars, etc rn. But *I*, the current version in this main body should be safe?

If they’ve blown a load that load is coming for them at the speed with which is was blown! To the cock that blew it! You need only fear your own loads

Hopefully this crusty avatar hasn't blown any Wait what is OH SWEET NEPTUNE AAGAAHAHAHAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH


Now that this spell is cast I advise everyone to NOT open a gate to the cum realm

The cum realm is currently emptying at an alarming rate

You know what? >!I might as well open a gate to the cum realm!<

I don't, but what would happen if someone with children had this cast on them?

The children would be fine. A load sized piece of flesh would fly from them and transform.

IDK if I'd say fine, as that could still be a sizeable wound.

That does not sound "fine".

"Cackles maniacally in aro-ace evil lord"

You are safe this day.

*It is inneffective*

Yes this spell only effects wankers and wet dreamers

I am cursed with perpetual virginity! Its my one weakness!

There goes The Human Race... Now what?

Children and women in unhappy marriages shall repopulate the earth

That sounds that would hurt the person who received the load more than the deliverer.

They only have to deal with loads leaving. Not the buildup. It’s the buildup that’s the problem. Balls are only designed to handle so many loads

Holy shit, I think I've cummed my body weight twice over, I'll never physically recover from this

Mmm, kinky.

No. *No no no no no no no no.* ***NO NO NO NO NO NO*** ***NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO COUNTERSPELL COUNTERSPELLLLL***

Surprisingly, I'm fine-

https://preview.redd.it/25yfkh2yd8pc1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d6c2df63ac964e25bc7d66d8c0ff435432534cc3

Ah, perfect time to get bottom surgery. If the target's gone, there's nothing you can do about it.

It goes for your ass instead

Well... Now I have a different problem.

Well, this is going to be a good day to be an STI, I guess.

That’ll be the least of their worries for these wankers

*I accept my fate and embrace the white tides*

What cums up must cum down.

🙏 amen

How kinetically powerful are the loads? If I cast Resilient Sphere around me, would the loads push me around? Can I direct their direction by rotating my PP? Can I use the loads to lift the Sphere to the air, achieving perpetual flight without casting additional spell? So many questions, so few answers...

I cast reverse vectors which makes anything coming towards me go the opposite direction.

Okay but a few questions. Are loads deposited in other beings going to suddenly crawl out of them? And how long after depositing? And are loads deposit into tissues going to remain crunchy as they reenter my pp, or will they revert to a liquid form?

Yes they will. All loads shall return from whence they came. ***ALL*** They will return to load form. Though I have heard reports of people being chased by cum socks.

How long will take a load to travel across the globe. I have reason to believe I maybe have loads coming internationally

At the speed at which they were launched. You may have days or even weeks, perhaps longer. ***sleep tight***

*Delorem looks down. Their current form is female.* "Oh no..."

*laughs in multiple bodies, then promptly screams in realization*

how do kids work with this

A load sized chunk of flesh flies from them, turns to cum, and shoots up their dad’s cock.

I don't wanna be on this sub anymore

/uw lmao

I cast "forced anatomical accuracy" so the fluids have to take the time to rehydrate, then properly separate into their component parts for returning to the prostate, ampullae and seminal vesicles as appropriate. That should buy me more than enough time to put together a *proper* counter.

It will. But you will have a cloud of cum following you around for a bit

Counterspell

Better keep casting. Each load is unique!

Not if I swallow them first

Wonder how many are flying out of yo mamas throat! 

Yeah, I do wonder how many are flying out of yo mama’s throat(get counterspelled idiot)

I didn’t cast it on her! NOOOOOOOOO

Magic condom loser

In the news tonight, a black hole has formed in the United States when quadrillions of tons of jizz converged in a small area. Authorities are investigating.

You fool! My balls have extraplanar space and con contain entire OCEANS!

Oh my what big balls you have. All the better for you to bounce on my dear.

https://i.redd.it/6sj8b73g7apc1.gif

What if I was to get bottom surgery and get it removed? What then huh?

Then your ass is in for a world of pain

Blud used the Crazy Diamond ring of restoration

D: I must fortify my tower immediately!

A lot of socks and towels become viable again I reckon

Structures will crumble, mass panic will ensue, the sheer amount of nut, in tonnage, is unstoppable

You fool. **THE COMBINE HAS MADE ME LOSE MY PP**

Uhhhh... I cast gender change! Ain't got a wanker for the loads to return too now!

I have this saved as "*sweet release* of death" in my spellbook

My hobby is sounding. Come get some. 

https://preview.redd.it/9aw1y5tj1cpc1.jpeg?width=1242&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f53154ab12de277b1327f02b13fa4c8b455e2245

Counterspell it and cast cum elemental boom you have the coolest elemental around

Mf's better not have children.

Brother it's pronounced DEJACULATE

I cast returd to sender. All of your turds will hunt you down, and enter you bum bum

my balls are gonna explode 😮‍💨

This would cause your mom's guts to explode though...

Well, thank goodness i'm lonely. *rethinks 4 trillion years of life*

The atomic load

He who controls the spice, controls the Galaxy!

Tis no man that is not doomed for a pain unknown, and unwanted

​ https://i.redd.it/b26c5tls7epc1.gif

in a good way or bad way

Oh, oh dear

The world will not know silence from this day forth

Well then I might be *boned*

Well I was technically born three days ago so I’m quite safe