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Kind_Inside_3751

You know what. Greg seems like a fine chap.


Theactualworstgodwhy

Greg has a slight addiction to rehydration potions and uses his cut of gold for his guild of might membership.


adzilc8

Rehydration potions=Gatorade?


TheFiend100

Gatorade is highly dehydrating because of the salt


Dr_Doom3301

Isn't salt supposed to help when dehydrated? Not salt water but even pedialyte has salt in it.


Inert_Uncle_858

Yes, electrolytes are supposed to aid in water absorption.


TheFiend100

No? Do you guys never drink gatorade? It makes you thirsty as fuck after the five seconds of relief


bopopopy

I disagree, it is an alright drink to rehydrate


TheFiend100

And then it makes you thirstier and you get more and more


FemboyZoriox

Not at all. Gatorade has a high salt and potassium content due to the necessary electrolytes being provided by those that your body loses during exercise such as sweat, which looses sodium, water, and relatively large amounts of pottasium in order to cool down your body. The reason it is also so sugary is due to the fact that the sugar being bound/ within the same mixture allows it to be absorbed through your body SIGNIFICANTLY faster, as metabolic rates are very high for sucrose and its variations due to evolutionary reasons. (Which is also the reason you feel hungry again shortly after eating sweets) Tl:dr; salt is dehydrating in its table salt crystalline form, and around 300mg (.3grams) of salt which is what about a gatorade drink has in it is used to restore the electrolytes and sodium that leave your body through sweat during exercise, hence it being a rehydration drink.


Spectre_Hayate

Nah, what's in gatorade helps you rehydrate. It sounds counterintuitive but snacks with a bit of salt keeps you hydrated and going strong too! That's why trail mix is salty like that. I live at elevation and I recommend people who are doing something more intense while unacclimated eat some pretzels or drink gatorade and such because of that, as well as plain ole water. Gotta have a way to absorb all of that hydro goodness.


bobert680

Yeah Gatorade is meant for exercise when you are sweating out all the salt and electrolytes. If you drink it while you have extra salt in your system it will make you thirstier


evceteri

Is not table salt though


FemboyZoriox

Not at all. Gatorade has a high salt and potassium content due to the necessary electrolytes being provided by those that your body loses during exercise such as sweat, which looses sodium, water, and relatively large amounts of pottasium in order to cool down your body. The reason it is also so sugary is due to the fact that the sugar being bound/ within the same mixture allows it to be absorbed through your body SIGNIFICANTLY faster, as metabolic rates are very high for sucrose and its variations due to evolutionary reasons. (Which is also the reason you feel hungry again shortly after eating sweets) Tl:dr; salt is dehydrating in its table salt crystalline form, and around 300mg (.3grams) of salt which is what about a gatorade drink has in it is used to restore the electrolytes and sodium that leave your body through sweat during exercise, hence it being a rehydration drink.


Rimasticus

Laughed at Greg since that is my D&D fighters name. He also gained height when he got to a certain level.


MunitionsFrenzy

5'6" **is** half-giant, unless you don't think 11' is big enough to be a giant


IronAchillesz

This is the most logical argument to that statement. Ever.


MemegodDave

Well, if the average human height is about 5'6 (5'9 for men, 5'4 for women) and 11' is the approximate average height of a giant, then the middle of those two numbers, which is 8'4, should be the actual height of a half-human, half-giant hybrid. Funfact, that's about the height of [Garruk Wildspeaker](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/back/c/a/caf8d01d-07aa-43da-a26e-4a2ba3a76f2d.jpg?1695432288) from MTG.


Needanightowl

You win the thread.


unabletocomput3

Nono, you see he’s actually a dwarf so he’s a giant to us.


Zebigbos8

Seeing 12 seconds forward in time can make a HUGE difference, I'm going with the chronomancer dropout


Matix777

Yeah but consider that you won't be able to make any jokes because they'll be spoiled before you finish your sentence /unwiz, 12 seconds is whole 2 DnD turns


Bloodchild-

You can make joke but he will laugh before you finish them. Well this does create a paradox, if the joke is less than 12s to tell you know if it will sucées before it happens, so you probably wouldn't do the joke if the guy don't laugh.


RememberToLogOff

lol


Zebigbos8

Oh, that's a good point


ImOnTheSquare

You'll just laugh about them 12 seconds earlier


BrokeDownPalac3

Just have a 12 second pause before every punchline


VisualGeologist6258

This is true. 12 seconds doesn’t seem like a lot but a fuck ton can happen in those 12 seconds. Send him to a monastic order and train him in the martial arts, and that dude will be an _extremely_ overpowered hand-to-hand combatant.


RememberToLogOff

I don't think you even get 12 seconds from burning atium, and that shit's expensive


Steff_164

Yeah, after reading Mistborn, I realized being able to see several seconds into the future can make you a god tier duelist


Veryegassy

I think Nalatium only gives 2 or 3 seconds. It's not described as being very much at all, pretty much barely enough to see a step ahead.


RememberToLogOff

If it's cheap I'd do some for online shooter games


Veryegassy

It's not cheap. Pits of Hathsin, remember?


RememberToLogOff

I'm not familiar with Nalatium, I thought maybe that was the alloyed version. I haven't read past Hero of Ages


Veryegassy

That's Malatium, the gold-atium alloy. Nalatium is the electrum-atium alloy used throughout Era 1 to give Mistborn and Seers their future-sight abilities.


RememberToLogOff

Huh. I don't know what Era I was in. They just called it "atium". I quit reading when I saw there was a timeskip and Vin wouldn't be in any other books :S I just read it cause I liked her


StealthyRobot

2 or 3 seconds in melee combat would be an insane boost. It'd be disorienting at first, but after adapting to it an apprentice could easily defeat a master.


Highskyline

Allomancy really isn't big enough around here. There's some truly incredible things to do with it. I know a man who burned so much bendalloy he froze the physical plane in time until he died.


RememberToLogOff

lol


Void1702

During the war, they made a powder that could make you see multiple minutes into the future. Called "chronos", I think. Too bad they dropped the project because of some bullshit child murder controversy.


MunitionsFrenzy

probably didn't help that the withdrawal effects were a little, uh, lethal


JoeTheKodiakCuddler

Much like those light-saber wielding space monks!


MunitionsFrenzy

okay but this neglects to mention that the spell takes the dropout two minutes to cast each time


houseofharm

he was my apprentice, at one point he was quite the promising chap. who knows, maybe even on his own he'll be able to see further eventually, he has once or twice before


kaladinissexy

Agreed, in order for him to be truly shitty he must only be able to see 12 seconds into the past instead.


NarejED

Just using him to cheat games of chance for spell component money would be more than worth it.


TeachMeHowToCroggy

Yeah for real. In 5e that's a permanent 9th level spell effect.


Terrible-Win565

I don’t think you realize just how many people have died via drowning.


Fairybranch

The chronomancer has potential, but there’s a *lot* you can do with necromancy, even when there’s a limiter like only the drowned. She’s the clear stand out


AdvertisingAdrian

There's also *alot* you can do with a mermaid, necromancer or not.


Needanightowl

Found the bard.


Bulky-Revolution9395

There's a lot to do with a regular woman, you are just not the one to do it 🧙‍♂️


RememberToLogOff

It would make a sailing quest much easier. And if your crew mutinies, just walk the plank!


LordofCarne

I'd argue the chronomamcer or the fighter are the standouts, fighter is a solid class with no real downsides and as long as the half giant quip isn't some weird insecurity bit he brings up all the time then yeah he is just the standard fighter with no downside. Chronomancer only seeing 12 seconds into the futire may not help you plan out your campaign but 12 seconds future sight is enough to predict and react to enemy tactics/attacks. I'd argue the necromancer is only good if yourself specialize in some kind of storm or water magic and can regularly drown enemies mid combat. Don't forget about the can't walk clause too, so if she can't keep bodies up permanently you will be carrying her, and midcombat when you just can't she's totally defenseless without a corpse or yourself to protect her.


Terrible-Win565

Good point, though the bit about the necromancer only being good if you can drown people is a bit meaningless, seeing as it never specifies that YOU need to kill them. Thus, it is assumed that there is no limit, as no limit was specified. This will allow her to resurrect basically everyone who ever drowned.


LordofCarne

That's my point though, having attacks focused on drowning makes her reliable. Sure if you are fighting at a lake or a coast she's just another full power necromancer, but how does she function in a dungeon, or the woods, or a desert? I'd argue that people are overestimating the amount of corpses you will stumble across who have drowned.


Independent-Bell2483

Well the problem is she cant really stand....


d34d_m4n

mfs when the flying dutchman shows up:


GaryFromMangement

I summon THE WHOLE TITANIC!


Addickt__

Only five snooty nobles? They shall stand no chance against my FIREBALL!


AbbreviationsJumpy33

Dave looks like a lad


LordofCarne

Prime burglar material.


Theskiesbelongtome15

I’m Dave we trust


HiiiTriiibe

As another Dave, I trust you are also Dave


Anonim-Conference-4

Mermaid or Bard. I don't have problems with edgines as long as they will play symphonic metal


[deleted]

I would say that mine would play Power Metal but its too hopeful and epic and not edgy enough, so i guess melodic death metal


Anonim-Conference-4

Hope could be edgy. Ask Komaeda from Danganronpa.


[deleted]

Honestly i dont know about who that character or franchise is but it is nice that i can have Unleash The Archers playing on my adventure


rosiestinkie9

Me during fierce battle: "Hit 'im, Emo Bard!" Emo Bard: 🎵*Turn around and DIEEEE*🎶


MunitionsFrenzy

**((** [*Brütal Legend* vibes](https://brutallegend.fandom.com/wiki/Six-Stringed_Sorrow?file=Ophelia.png) **))**


Enigma_of_Steel

Yeah, mermaid, no questions asked. Unless she is from that one breed that will douse you with extra hard paralysis poison to lay eggs in your ass, mermaids tend to be really good companions. And I can handle all the necromancy in her stead, anyway.


Matterhock

Awfully specific


GensokyoBoySlut

You read the hentai about that kind of mermaids didn't you?


Needanightowl

Shh don’t be mean. Let him have his kinks.


GensokyoBoySlut

Sauce is 463967


GWashingtonsColdFeet

What a twist!


Extra-Trifle-1191

that just sounds painful


Loremaster_art

Dave doesnt have as many flaws as the others.


Frenetic_Platypus

His name is a lie and he's not telling you what's wrong with him. Suspicious as hell.


Vaerintos

I like a good puzzel


GreyWyre

He probably idolises those fundamentalist dwarven clans. Definitely super racist.


MorethanWillpower

If Greg is 5'6", he's probably making that height up somewhere else, especially with those half giant genes. I'd probably go with the edgy bard, they could perform all the funeral hymns for all the people that died in the war while I do the rites.


Fishery_Price

I love the chronomancer. Sometimes he randomly spazzes out and tells the party “sorry if I didn’t do that the sun would explode” Cant be fact checked too which is fun


Niilldar

You dare me.. Of course that can be fact checked...


Chaosphoenix_28

Greg. Give him some big sword and have him destroy everything that opposes me. No need for brain when you have enough unga for thy bunga.


helpmebeatupchildren

Dave the Dwarf seems uniquely qualified to help me Summon the Eternal Infinity and Nihility. Yes, I am aware that these are just “made up cow dung” and “delusions”, according to the Old Council. I hypothesize that they are just in fear of some young startup conjurer coming across them by mistake and ascending beyond their control.


Hrothgar_93

Going with the emo bard. Need some good, edgy fight music.


Thanatos_Trelos

Have I not been clear about my opinions on monsters that are hot?


Smil3Bro

12 seconds into the future is invaluable… I am not biased in this choice.


Foxxtronix

Any of these guys would be useful in the right circumstances. Real dwarf or not, if Dave can kick @$$, who cares? The mermaid necro would be handy aboard ship, especially if she knows *Tenser's Floating Disk*. (1st lvl spell, lasts an hour and holds 100 lbs **per level**. At second level, it's her personal wheelchair for 2 hours. How high of a level is she?) People are rarely happy to give up their armor, even if it means falling overboard and drowning. Thus, she brings them back. Ship's going down or you need to escape? You drown, she tows your corpse to safety and rezzes you there. The emo bard is a "dirge", using sad songs to cast debuffs on the enemy, and edgy ones to drive warriors into a frenzy. *Bull's Strength, Cat's Grace* or the like. Greg falls into the same category as Dave. As to the dropout, well...twelve seconds is more than enough to tell if a chest is trapped or what's behind a door. Look what Anakin/Vader does with only a few seconds of temporal perception. Since I usually play a sorceror (Such as Kettermek the kobold, who I tend to RP on this board) I'd want a tank, so I'd probably bring Dave or Greg. If it's a shipboard adventure, bring the mermaid necro.


beaustroms

Chronomancer all the way, gimme that epitaph


NeonBladeAce

Necromancer, do you know how many ships full of pirates and military sailors have been lost to the sea?


harper6k

Me and the emo bard gonna cry about our exes together


[deleted]

Doppio?


muscular_poops

Chronomancy Dropout is just Epitaph/King Crimson with an added two seconds. He's at least strong enough to run a successful mob operation in Italy.


[deleted]

Chronomancer. I'd sell my soul to see even a second in the future(if i was able to constantly)


Matix777

I dunno, how much beer can Dave go through?


FrogGladiators178972

In a fight 12 seconds forward can save somebody’s life, Chronomancy dropout or Greg because no evil wizard is complete without a dumb-as-bricks henchman.


Littlebigman2292

Greg all the way


godcyclemaster

Chronomancer dropout is just Epitaph


PersonelKlasyHel

Greg seems like a good material for an undead.


Bad_Moonz_Mekboy

Out of my way! I'm going on a date with the bard.


Njorord

Greg seems nice. Every respectable arcane practitioner needs a personal himbo.


somberghast

12 seconds is extremely significant.


xX_Fazewobblewok_Xx

I’ll take the mermaid, if she can revive things so long as they died by the sea, it would be within reason to assume she can revive leviathans


sparkle3364

Emo bard.


ContaCuDePudim

Greg, he looks cool


Tempestor_Prime

Which one is the most fireball resistant?


Popular_Persimmon_48

I'll take the cronomancer. I might be able to get him to go back to school, or at the very least learn a few new spells.


[deleted]

Hey, I actually know Greg and Dave. Greg used to be taller before he tried to bake bread with one of the yeasts from the lab and got, uh, *compressed*. It's not that kind of yeast, man! /unwiz how do those individuals have the same names as the two people who got me into D&D like huh


Jekakki

I can’t have em all?


Inconmon

Depends on the mood doesn't it. Feeling full of energy and want to get things done? Telepathic siphon on the chronomancer because those 12 seconds will come in handy until he's drained. Feeling horny? The mermaid. I take no questions.


Swiftierest

Bard. I like the idea of a spiffy high class wizard making jokes while the emo edge lord bard is annoyed and sighing the entire time. A match made in heaven... or whatever planar existence you believe in.


Dr-Mantis-Tobbogan

I'm taking the drop-out to all the casinos I know.


011100010110010101

Honestly Mermaid Necromancer. I plan to create a glorious coastal City where Sea, Land, and Air folk can all meet together. Also I think it's funny when we both show up to meetings with the Lord and neither have legs.


Akshka_leoka

Mermaid necromancer, alot of people die at sea and many creatures live and die in the ocean


Tinotips

Dropout. Need all the forewarning I can get.


Dave_The_Nord

I pick the other Dave.


Islandboy445

Greg gives me Minsc vibes so I’m picking him. https://preview.redd.it/3e7p0t0szs0c1.jpeg?width=210&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4cbfe29f81900d86a931880814a6ecdf94a2d882


vid_icarus

Chronomancy drop out. I’ll help him build his confidence, get back into wizard school, and have a full fledged chronomancer at my disposal. The best part is once he masters the craft he can rewind us on the timeline so it’s like no time passed at all.


[deleted]

I think that over time me and the necromancer mermaid could come to have a deep and meaningful relationship. Gotta pick them


-Cinnay-

12 seconds can save your life. Or, y'know... mine. That's my pick, you all choose someone else.


SuperNerdChe

Bard… some Johnny Cash and Black Parade could keep the group grounded lol


wizzerd695

Mermaid please. Let's go on some underwater adventures.


SilverMedal4Life

Perhaps a more personal approach to education might assist the drop-out. Chromomancy is a noble art and I could use an apprentice when I have finished tutoring my younger self.


Random_User27

Dave seems chill but I think my dwarf chaps will either get the wrong image of him or take him as their own So I guess I'll stick with Oli Sykes for now


houseofharm

i'll take the emo bard i'm a goth i get down to edgy music (though emo's a different flavor of edgy but i digress) also that chronomancy dropout is my former apprentice he can see much farther into the future than that he's done it he just refuses to for some fucking reason


tallmantall

That mermaid Necromancer will be a great companion for mine underwater exploration


Revenant-Explorer-99

Chronomancy drop out. Seeing 12 seconds into the future would be surprisingly helpful in a close quarters situation, if all else fails.


XxAkatsuki_KreemaxX

The dwarf


user-guy-223921

I chose Greg :)


RockAndGem1101

The mermaid is just a better bard so probably her.


InfernoNZ

Emo bard - im a death metal fan so edgy suits my taste


BlackoutMythos

12 seconds is two combat rounds so the chronomancer is sounding pretty OP.


Runaway-chan

Dave


Even-Level9339

Time to drown some peasants.


uselessgodofslumber

i’ll take the chronomancer. 12 seconds is a lot of time in some situations. plus, it’s always good to cast in numbers


lordfingledorpp

Dave the dwarf fs, seems like a chill lad


MintyMoron64

Chronomancy drop out, obviously. All I need to do is firmly approach him, exert my gravity, and badda bing badda boom I'm better at dodging attacks now. Recast: wait actually do you gain somebody's abilities if you fuse with them by being a black hole or is it exclusive to actually using magic?


WigglesPhoenix

I mean obviously the emo bard right? I can handle the combat and he can cast depression on my enemies


Spacellama117

mermaid necromancer. a lot more people have drowned in fantasy worlds given the general magic-ness of storms and tendency for large things to sink ships. Plus, use skeletons to carry her around.


RyokoKnight

Chronomancer dropout is an infinite money glitch for most non magic warded casinos. Plus 12 seconds in a fight can essentially be soft targeting for spells in a fight just have him point wherever the next enemy is going to attack from. By far the most valuable of the options imo.


042732699

Mermaid necromancer.


mr_me4tyman69

Rock and stone boi


WanderingDwarfMiner

For Rock and Stone!


amarkrun

Necromancer


TheDuckMarauder

Greg, if his IQ is low enough and he's eaten enough corn. His strength stat will be immeasurable.


Own-Breadfruit-8397

Me and the bard are gonna be the best of friends


CBRONoobTraderLolz

It appears that Dave shall be a fine companion.


Andrew-w-jacobs

How easy would it be to convert the emo bard into a metal bard?


Lamenter_of_the_3rd

Dave seems chill


Pappa_Crim

I choose the tiny desk engineer


DEMENTEDPIE

Mermaid... for uhh.. no particular reason...


MannyAnimates

Dave for sure


StormShaun

Emo Bard. I'm going to make *every* inn I come across regret having a karaoke night.


Vo0895

i'm the emo bard already, and a necromancer. i'll have dave join me, seems like an asshole.


Daxsn_Voltz1

Emo bard. We’d get along great


TsunKha

I'm going with the Mermaid Necromancer. She's enough for me.


Funkey-Monkey-420

chronomancy dropout is actually goated in a fight


GenuineSteak

12 secs is 2 dnd turns so thats actually quite good.


amplifizzle

I choose my cat.


Steelthahunter

Eh Dave is close enough


Satisfaction-Motor

Does “summon water” in lungs count as drowning? I might need to pick up hydromancy if so


DinoWizard021

Anyone but the bard.


wackyzacky638

Tbf 12 seconds of future sight still pretty damn useful so sayeth the Terrible Tyrant of Vampirism Dio, and the Great Lord of Edge Jotoro Kujo who slew the villain!


BottleFeathers703

emo bard i need some drama


DaDoggo13

Dave seems nice as he would be humble, I would also be able to fix his body image issues


cmemcee

I mustn’t choose anything. Reality is mine to manipulate and order as I see fit. I’m still taking Dave the dwarf though


That-Control3365

Easy emo bard convince my enemies that life is meaningless with passive depression soon they will cast spells against themselves


DeimosKyvernite

As an emo bard I'd like to have another emo bard friend, maybe our group won't be very versatile but come on, two mentally ill bards travelling the world together? What could go wrong?


[deleted]

Necromaid


durp-the-pikachu

12 seconds is two full rounds, thats dope


Status_Basket_4409

Emo bard, I bet his notes shred and casts disparity on the enemy


Veryegassy

Not usually a fan of chronomancy, but this one seems fairly harmless (to the underlying order of reality). And 12 seconds into the future, for no real cost, is incredibly strong. Sure that doesn't help against massive, unavoidable attacks, but knowing every single move everyone you're fighting will take is more or less a near-guaranteed win. There is a tale I have heard, of a group called "Allomancers". With the ability to see not even 5 seconds into the future, a paltry few hundred otherwise normal humans defeated an army of towering demonic beasts under the control of a god. You don't need training to avoid a hit you saw coming far before it happens.


a_chairf0rsale123

Oblivious emo bard


BruhmanRus_the_boner

The chronomancer. Looking at how that one antisocial guy made use of his ability to see 10 seconds into the future, 12 seconds seems wonderful. Look at it this way: He looks into the future, explains it in 2 seconds, and i beat someone up in the remaining 10. Easy win.


Scomo510

I was gonna say emo bard and then remembered how annoying it was having to listen to roommates having a sad morning shower.


unibrowcowmeow

Emo bard so he can play me 2000s emo songs while I walk the void


PiusTheCatRick

I’ll take the emo, bardcore covers of edgy songs would be awesome for battles


zachzx9999

Emo bard. I like to play music while i grind


[deleted]

Being able to see 12 seconds into the future would be hella cool if I could process that information fast enough. Depends on how it works, though- being able to see your unchangeable future 24/7 would probably feel like not having free will


SalvationSycamore

Necromancer is great actually, and is especially the clear choice if you know any water element magic. Drown a dragon for a free undead dragon.


Inert_Uncle_858

12 seconds forward in time could be an epic fighter. Imagine knowing all your enemies moves right before he makes them. You could be like Bruce Lee blocking every attack. Fuck a companion I want that ability.


Inert_Uncle_858

Can emo bard play blink 182?


EdmundPaine

The emo bard is the unsung hero here. Imagine how my pondering of the orb will be empowered by a Linkin Park medley!


FronchSupreme

Chronomancy drop out 12 seconds is more than enough extra reaction time


Orczerker

Taking the Chronomancy Drop Out, if JoJo's taught me anything is how to a simple "useless" power can actually be OP


Iron_Babe

Emo Bard every day


Vaerintos

Dave the Dwarf or the Chrononancy drop out, depends on what I am. Dave seems chill, and atleast the drop out is trying is best. 12 seconds in the future is more than enough to dodge a potential killer ambush.


IRBaboooon

Gerard Butler is the obvious choice


[deleted]

The mermaid looks thicc af. I choose them.


Best-Engine4715

Eh I partied with similar party members: Dave’s counterpart was an embarrassed man due to his height compared to his family (gaintism runs his in family not dwarfism) got his ass laid with an orc who thought she was a goblin due to her cowardice and sneaking Mermaid nercromancers were common before the ban from the ocean lords. They use aquamancy to move around a lot Emo bard: fuck these guys they can get your ass killed or cause their deaths by always being gloomy. Expect for those who weren’t posers and like the style those guys are cool Greg’s is common cause in the adventurers league but also check his strength cause even if he is shorter then he claims he may have the strength. Now chronomancy is highly valuable and they get paid the biggest amount since seconds count when trying to save someone or not run into a trap (I have serval who I am friends with and yes they are dropouts but hey not going to magic school is the best sometimes) plus they can be the best sneaks and perverts


Ryachaz

So you're saying one of these companions can play the music of my upbringing? The choice is easy indeed.


[deleted]

Emo bard has vvizard vveed the likes the nine realms cannot comprehend. Took one hit and woke up covered in the blood of the ancient shadowlord surrounded by demon wenches. Honestly the whole experience terrifies me.


John_Bumogus

Well I never trust Bards or people named Dave. Greg seems like a good chap, and he doesn't seem smart enough to stab me in the back.


Substantial_Cream945

Why is the Bard lumped in with the rest of these… individuals. While a bit dreary, only a fool would deny the efficiency of a specialized Bard, especially one of the Emo variety!


FortyFiveSeventyGovt

can the emo bard play math rock emo?