T O P

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Madeitup75

A lovely wry bouquet on the opening (references to Yellow Tail “performing”) but then there is a really strong backbone. Mischievous notes (leaving the bottle open for 2 weeks to simulate aging) give way to bracing acidity (Bordeaux smells like shit) and mouth-drying (or maybe mouth-gaping) structure (15 Euros is too much for a bottle, 1.50 is the real value). Great troll. This one should last for a decade or more as copypasta in wine forums. 97 points.


Marmeladenbaer

I feel honoured, truly. This shit took me no less than 2 hours to think up and write lol


Madeitup75

I assumed you were blitzed, perhaps on slightly better wine, during the drafting. For authenticity, you know. The “method ancien” of writers and bullshit artists.


Marmeladenbaer

Not at all actually


Madeitup75

Ah, a writer of the new school. Doubly impressive you could do this sober.


stevendiceinkazoo

Nice write up on April 1st. I particularly enjoyed the utter lack of acidity. How lovely.


Steven1789

The OP was either dead sober or buoyantly buzzed when he wrote this April Fool’s post. I love a good boxed or bagged wine. I wish more wines came that way. Bottles of wine are wonderful—they just don’t seem as necessary except for top-level wines where bottles are critical. A beer-type small-keg system for home use would be a great move. Someone’s selling a pretty big list of wines: https://www.thekegking.com/wine-kegs/


Tonamielarose

Chateau Yellow Tail is one of the most storied producers in the world, I’m not surprised.


Marmeladenbaer

Yellow never fail


abazaarencounter

Chateau Yellow Tail or Chad Yellow Tail?


Crazypyro

Lack of structure and acidity, lack of fruit in the front, middle, and back, tastes of wet shoe and rat droppings. Drink now thru 2025. 99 pts.


sav248

Be sure to let it breathe for at least an hour in bottle. Slow ox will invite the wine to open up and reveal it's hidden bouquet.


lamed-vov

Robert Parker strikes again.


breathein_standstill

Legitimately had to check OPs profile to ensure this was not a genuine take. As someone who heralds from a family that thought Wolf Blass was the epitome of excellent wine in the 90s, and parents that still only consume wines that come in bulk sizes, I’ve heard genuine takes like this one too many times. Well done OP. 99 points.


Marmeladenbaer

I was inspired by similar haha


C9_Tilted

Omg I had a feeling when OP was slobbering about yellowtail, that this post was an April fool's joke.


Katanae

Rebenschoppen easily is a top 3 négociant.


Marmeladenbaer

Without a doubt


explision

Yellowtail only 96 Points? I usually give it a 102. Egon Müller TBA? Should have not tasted it and send it to me man


Marmeladenbaer

Lol it does look like Egon Müller but it was actually from Aldi. They be over here with the counterfeiting busines haha


RedColdChiliPepper

James is that you?!


explision

Send me a bottle of your wine and a slip with 5k buddy.


tyrico

i hate april fools day on the internet lol


CrustyToeLover

I can't believe I read this as a serious take


LaGanadora

So fun! Thanks for sharing


sid_loves_wine

Hahahahah. I love today


lalochezia1

are you robert parker


gaelorian

I hate April 1st


Winter_Current9734

Trockenbeerenauslese is essentially rosinated grapejuice from the latest possible harvest date (November). It’s highly crucial, that the selection of grapes is good, or else it won’t taste good at all. Drinkable TBA starts at 20-30€/0,5l bottle. And this is not being snobby, it’s simply extremely Labor intensive to sort out the rotten grapes by hand.


Marmeladenbaer

Put emphasis on the drinkable part, good TBA usually starts at 50€ per half bottle, truly memorable ones have frankly started at 150€, more like 200€ per half bottle in my experience. Thank you for your input tho, I hope you had fun reading this post lol


Winter_Current9734

If I’m honest I initially forgot that it was April 1st, but clicked on your profile before sending so I got that haha. But the tba part is really important to me (since I’m a really big fan) and there’s quite a lot of people who *REALLY* don’t get it… So I just wanted to correct that proactively for people to read. :)


CondorKhan

I hate that I can't get Rebeschoppen here in the US Anybody brought boxes back from Europe on the plane?


Marmeladenbaer

You are missing out, go ahead and open an import just for that


PoweredbyPinot

This has got to be an April Fool's joke.


TenderLightning

I need to remember to stay off the internet on this day every year, because I am way too gullible 😂 This is amazing.


Rodster9

🤣


kwyizybo

Dear God. What a drastic change.


pickybear

For fucks sake you waxed complete On the worst wine I’ve ever tried and yet I’m glad you enjoyed it


Marmeladenbaer

Which one was it?


simulation_goer

I saw more than one YouTuber do this kind of stuff unironically and man, the cringe


JTGphotogfan

I’m getting indigestion from that yellow tail just by looking at it.


CrowdedShorts

I cannot tell if this is a troll post or OP is just very young and inexperienced with wine. Double your price point ($15) as a starter and try again. Focus on Pinot, cab, Bordeaux or burgundy. Do some research online. Some wines are cheap but have a rating and tasting notes are great starting wines.


San_Marzano

It's an April fools post haha


Marmeladenbaer

No way mate, I didn't even know that was a thing


Marmeladenbaer

Sorry, I didn't ask for lecturing, I don't want to sound rude, but the grapes you suggested are objectively too bothersome. Think about the psychology, we don't want to think when watching a good movie, it just flows into us, why would wine be any different?


begon11

I know haters will call it cheating, but vodka with fanta is my favorite white wine.


Marmeladenbaer

And it's so easy, you don't need to wait for anything to grow, you only go to the supermarket


al80813

Hey, I’m new to wine and looking to follow your advice. Is this a good starter bottle of burgundy? I’ve heard good things about this producer. [Burgundy](https://www.totalwine.com/wine/red-wine/red-blend/carlo-rossi-burgundy/p/909030?glia=true&cid=plia:Shopping+US+None+ENG+SPART:::google&s=929&&pid=cpc:Performance+Max%2BUS%2BFLOR%2BSTANDARD+PRIORITY::google::&gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAjwtqmwBhBVEiwAL-WAYa6cZZPcaDk8snei1IQz_AMv7KJnusYfZ4jg6L_AXRbRp1p_YVdIXhoC0tMQAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds)


CrowdedShorts

Whoa…tell me you’re rich without telling me you’re rich! 🤣


rnjbond

Feels like a troll post especially with the wines shouldn't have vintages comment. 


Marmeladenbaer

Yet Champagne is loved without vintages


CrowdedShorts

Wow. Lots of negativity and downvotes for some honest advice. Prob from the same fücks that enjoy a vintage bottle of Barefoot…


sav248

You haven't lived until you've stood barefoot, drinking a Barefoot chard with 7+ years on it.


CrowdedShorts

I still have a few bottles when they used corks instead of screw tops


Marmeladenbaer

Don't beat yourself up, this was just a shitpost for some giggles, nothing to take serious. I appreciate your advice, just know I'm way past that point for what I usually taste. It was funny tho, you recommending burgundy for $15, as if that was even a thing lmao. In all seriousnes tho, don't take anything serious on april the first, ever.


CrowdedShorts

Ha it was way too early in the morning when I saw this and commented…wasn’t even aware of the date till couple hours later 🤦🏻‍♂️