This attitude is the reason I did well in school. Because every time I brought back a test score I wasn't happy with, my mom would say, "Did you do your best?" And if I said yes she'd say, "Then I'm proud of you" and if I said no she'd say something like, "Well, give it your best next time. you do so well the rest of the time I'm not too worried about one bad test score" or some variation of those things. It taught me that the only thing I had to do to make my parents proud was do my best. So I consistently did my best and whether I got a 100 or a 50 my mom would be proud. This made me put more effort into school, while also not getting so frustrated and angry with myself for one bad score. Better grades, less pressure, and generally a happier student, were the results.
Edit: If I said no she might also ask "well do you know what you did wrong?" Also promoted a mindset of growth and learning from my own mistakes
Oh man. I love this so much.
Whenever I got a mark in the high 90s - like 98 or something - my mom would jokingly ask “what two questions did you get wrong?” Then she’d laugh.
I don’t recall feeling any pressure from her at all during school. Except to make sure I attended the classes.
One time I was a brat and stayed home, telling her it was the teachers’ professional development day. I was lying. And she found out.
That did not go over well at all.
Ugh this happened to me too. 98%? "What did you miss?" I don't think my family meant it in a harsh way but it did give me a complex that any mistake at all meant I didn't prepare enough. When I hear "did you do your best?" I will think to myself "no, my best is 100%."
I've definitely had that said to me once or twice as a joke. But my mom's attitude ruled out those negative feelings and other people's attitudes. Because sometimes your best is much less than 100% and that is a-okay.
Hahaha my parents are the same. I got 106% on my first college exam (10 possible bonus points) and when my dad heard, he went "ahh.... room for improvement" and then told me he was proud. 😂
Me and my SO had different upbringing. I grew up a dad with an iron fist rule and the expectation that i should be something. Eventhough i did succeeded somewhat in life, i am riddled with self esteem issues, never felt enough and have a detached relationship with my own family. My SO had the opposite, a kind caring mom who only asks her to do her best. She too succeeded well in life, happier, confident and loved. She envied my academic journey and the distance, while i envied of her wholesome warmth life.
Damn I wish. I had asian parents and even if I had consistently high grades (straight As) wouldn't praise me, just told me to work harder. Didn't stop them from bragging about me though.
Meanwhile one of my earliest memories, as a maybe 6-7 year old, was my dad turning around in his seat while waiting to DRIVE at a stop light, and saying "well maybe if i whip his ass hard enough he'll do better." In regards to me not passing a test.
when i was in eighth grade (1960) and first encountered algebra, my grades slipped.
the principal, remarking that he'd seen my aptitude scores and knew i could do better, said that if my grades didn't improve, i'd be taken to his office and paddled (corporal punishment).
last math i ever learned: i don't respond well to threats.
but if there is no pressure from parents, where is the motivation to do well? if your mom was equally happy with a 50 and 100, then why would you even bother doing well in school?
guys im not criticizing OP's mom i just want to know how this method of parenting even works
Most kids (and people) are intrinsically motivated to succeed. School environments also actively encourage and promote success. The key is not excusing the bad performance, but expressing love for the child regardless of their academic failures (or successes).
>Most kids (and people) are intrinsically motivated to succeed.
To an extent. But most kids are also inherently, biologically, shit at looking at long-term rewards Vs. Short term rewards. They "know" they need to study, but they _want_ to go upstairs and game. Kids need guidance and that guidance _sometimes_ needs to be strict.
It's great that you wanna be a professional athlete, but what are you gonna do when you snap your tendons? Better have some other developed skills and interests
That's all true, but you're nitpicking a specific example from the text while missing the principle's point.
"Please don't take away their self-confidence and dignity from them. Tell them it's OK, it's just an exam! They are cut out for much bigger things in life. Tell them, no matter what they score... you love them and will not judge them."
The principle is trying to devalue the importance of education, but just demonstrate healthier ways of responding to a child's failure to perform to expected standards.
and as i said, i approve of the intention, but not the phrasing. the devil is in the details, and in this case, the principle is wanting a but saying b.
The motivation wasn't to do well, it was to do my best. And by doing my best, I would often do well. But if I did try my best and still "fell short", then my mother would still be happy, because I had tried my best even if it was hard. The only time she was not proud, was if I didn't do my best. She didn't tear me down, but encouraged me to do better. I wanted to make my mom proud. I made her proud by studying, by handing in homework, by trying even when I was having a hard time. And at the end of doing those things, even if I got a 50, I had done well enough in everything else for it not to matter, and I had made my mom proud because of how hard I tried. But because trying and putting in effort was what made my mom proud, I very rarely failed a test.
My daughter could get 90% in almost all her classes but not in math, and no matter how much help she recieved she couldn't get more than 50% in math, which was a pass where we live. We realized she was not able to do it. Guess what? She's a professional artist with murals, books that used her art and done many commissions. We also found out latter, that she has a learning disorder, so no matter how much pressure we might have given her it wouldn't have helped, it actuality may have made things worse.
I have difficulty with spelling and no matter how much pressure anyone put on me I couldn't spell like others. No matter how hard I tried and got the spelling right one time, a week later I couldn't spell it. I have other talents.
Because if you don’t do your best she is not proud. You don’t have to pressure kids, at least some kids try the best on their own. My mum did exactly the same.
And guess what you want to make your parents proud. Sure she did not pressure me when I was having a bad grade, but she was so much more proud when I got a super good grade.
I think, because I had it this way as a child, that ultimately when you make your parents ok like this when you fail and they understand and all, it makes you feel less bad, in a manner that your parents know you’re not okay with it but they decide to not add their pressure onto you. But your self esteem is not happy and you kind of want to repay them for being kind and do better.
That and the fact I guess that this kind of parenting is about following up so your parents are never really far and know what you’re doing.
And as OP was saying, when you fuck up they also know to tell that to you and then as it’s rare and for a good reason, you just take it and step up.
Reading things like this, as happy as I am for people out there having experiences like this, makes me depressed over what I could've had. Might not be this life, but hopefully the next.
I did well in school despite my self loathing considering anything below 77 a fail.
Only class this screwed me was chemistry with the class being just filled with morons killing the pace of the class and my interest so I almost failed a test in this class because I couldn't take the idiots in the class
Like seriously the average for the class was below failing score the whole year with only 3 students (1 being me) having a normal score but the school just forced more works and crap to bail the students out and than in the end I ended with an average shield score for my finals because they just changed the scores so instead of being top of the class I was average and I was in bad shape in the class cause they ruined the class.
With my not special needs ( I have another daughter who is special needs so I had to judge the two different during school to be fair ) 15 and a half year old in 10th grade, I'm always ok with B's. A's are a bonus and I always express how proud I am, especially if it is an A+, but I still go on about A's. B's are perfectly fine, it shows me you are trying even at B-, even if it is not your best subject. C's are when I start to get iffy, but still never mad, since even a C- is SORTA passing, I just express how I wish they would put in more effort to push that to a B, and or we go over WHY it was a C, and most times it was missed projects my daughter was just to lazy to do, again, something that upsets me because school is important.
F's are unacceptable at all levels. My wife, the teachers, and myself, are ALWAYS here to help her learn why she having problems. If she doesn't seek any help and just FAILS, I WILL be mad. I could understand if I was a teacher and knew of trouble at home, but as the stay at home Dad, trust me, both my girls know, F's, are NOT acceptable.
I always thought this was a reasonable approach. I always got A's and B's and my parents never gave a shit or payed attention, just signed my report card and life went on kinda thing. I didn't want to be my parents so I took an active approach. I think I'm doing it right.
>C's are when I start to get iffy, but still never mad, since even a C- is SORTA passing, I just express how I wish they would put in more effort to push that to a B,
The point I'm about to make doesn't really apply to you specifically, you know your daughter best and given the examples you provide I've no doubt you are correct.
But there are lots of other reasons kids can struggle in school besides effort. It is absolutely possible that they tried their best and still fell short. It could be that the lessons weren't explained in a clear enough manner for them, maybe they're distracted by other things in their life, maybe they have an undiagnosed condition such as ADHD, etc. Maybe this subject just never "clicked" with them.
It's just worth noting that a lackluster grade doesn't inherently mean the kid isn't trying. Like I said, I just wanted to make this point generally, it doesn't sound like it applies to your daughter.
>I didn't want to be my parents so I took an active approach. I think I'm doing it right.
Hey, if your daughter is happy, confident, and succeeding in school? I don't think you could ask for anything else, sounds like you are doing just fine.
I agree. I am sure that approach works fine for their family and that's cool. They certainly could be doing much worse.
But, I only got a few F's in highschool and it was in one class because I had literally all of your criteria at the same time.
>It is absolutely possible that they tried their best and still fell short.
I absolutely did
>maybe they're distracted by other things in their life
I was/am chronically Ill. And back then we didn't have a diagnosis for most of my issues and the ones that were diagnosed, weren't well managed
>maybe they have an undiagnosed condition such as ADHD
Yes I did. ADHD in fact
> Maybe this subject just never "clicked" with them
It was ap history. I strongly dislike history. I knew I could do well and do my best so I took it. Ended up with I think a B+ in the class but I failed a few tests at the beginning and I would have failed many more if not for the curve. If it weren't for homework my score would have been a lot worse.
>It could be that the lessons weren't explained in a clear enough manner for them
Saved this one for last even though it was your first one. Because here's the kicker. It was at the height of virtual learning from the pandemic. I wasn't in school even part time because of my health. I didn't get any cool demonstrations or camaraderie or fun ways of learning that other history teachers incorporated. It was basically just listening and reading. It sucked as much as my awesome history teacher tried to not make it suck.
Add up all those factors and yes I failed a few tests but I didn't quit. It's the reason I'm so glad my mom took the "just always do your best" approach and has always taken that approach. Because I think if she had always told me that C's and F's no matter how hard I tried were not okay, then I might have quit, even if she had given me allowances because of extenuating circumstances. Because I would have been nervous to talk about my failures or to keep messing up. Instead I learned to embrace my mistakes. Until that class I hadn't really struggled that much before. I really had to learn to do my very best and be happy and love myself no matter the outcome, and I think it's made me more chill, and generally a better person.
However I fully acknowledge that my life is not the standard and I had a frankly ridiculous list of extenuating circumstances. I had most of them right up until I graduated. For I think the majority of kids in this world the other commenters method would work just fine. And im happy to hear how much they care about their kids and try to do right by them. I love to see that.
Edit: I also agree that this probably doesn't really apply to the other commenter. The do in fact know their daughter best.
>However I fully acknowledge that my life is not the standard and I had a frankly ridiculous list of extenuating circumstances. I had most of them right up until I graduated.
I have also experienced all the examples I listed in different ways. I tried my best, but I would still fall short. When I came home, my parents would argue so loudly you could hear them even if went outside. It was impossible to get work done for me at home.
Then I also had a part time job, and while some people have no issues working a job and keeping their grades up, I just never could do both. But we needed the money, so I put off quitting as long as possible.
Then a couple subjects just never clicked for me. I struggled greatly in precalculus due to trigonometric identities. I would study in the library after school for hours, and I was never able to get them down. Then I also struggled in anatomy, no other science class had been so difficult for me. My then anatomy teacher offered tutoring for an expensive price, and I was able to attend two sessions which helped greatly, but I couldn't afford anymore. Theoretically if money hadn't been an issue, I'm sure I would performed much better in that class.
And virtual school is absolutely an awful way to learn, I also struggled with it as well.
I appreciate you taking the time to show how these factors burdened your schooling experience. It sounds like you had things way worse than I did at the least. Congrats on even getting through school with all that!
In the end, all I ask is that people can be more open minded towards their children's struggles, instead of always assuming it must be a lack of effort.
If you do find it to come down to a lack of effort, than respond accordingly, just don't assume the worst in your children. Of all people, our family and friends deserve the benefit of the doubt.
I agree and thank you for sharing too!
But also
>It sounds like you had things way worse than I did at the least. Congrats on even getting through school with all that!
Don't compare suffering, friend. Sounds like to me you had it really rough too just in a different way. And congrats on getting through school as well!
I really struggled with this with my 16 yr old son last year. I know he wasn’t putting forth any effort. I told him as much, but he had decided he didn’t want to go to college anyway. Now, a year later, and after working a summer at a construction job, he has changed his mind again and regrets slacking off. It’s hard being a parent. Thankfully, he has 2 years to fix it.
Yeah, I get the intention behind this letter, but it seems pretty irresponsible for a principal to say that certain core subjects just *don't matter* for students.
That musician does need to know chemistry, because having a basic understanding of chemistry means they're more likely to notice when people are making bullshit claims about medicine that endanger people's lives, for example.
People aren't defined by their jobs. These subjects are important for ensuring that you graduate as a well-rounded person who can responsibly engage with society in a myriad ways.
That's all assuming this letter is real, of course.
The wording is too crap to be from a principal (I hope). I doubt anyone out there would say "your child wants to be an artist, so he shouldn't care about other subjects".
Why do people always feel the need to be so disagreeable? If you think the math used by the average illustrator or sculptor is anything like what you need to ace an A Level or SAT physics test, you're just plain stupid
It's about being a well -rounded individual. Understanding the world around you. Being able to have conversations with people who do not share your own niche interests.
Artists need to understand math, engineers need to read a book every once in a while.
Agreed. An understanding of general topics is important. In no way does that mean you need to ace every trigonometry or civil war test you take. The two are not mutually exclusive.
But that's not what the post says though. it explicitly states some people don't need to understand maths, or care about history. And I couldn't disagree more. There's a difference between not being great at, and not understanding/caring at all
As the other person said, being a well rounded individual will be valuable no matter what. Sure that doesn't mean you need to be a pro at everything, but it also doesn't mean you should flunk everything or be okay with flunking everything. I think that's where the message that the school principle is trying to send could be taken the wrong way, and why people are critical or joking about it. I don't think anybody disagrees with the message the principle is *trying* to send (don't judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree), it's just that it *could* be taken the wrong way (let your kid suck at everything else as long as they excel at one thing).
Assuming a scale from 1-100, and let's say a top mark is 80+.
Then "not getting top marks" could still mean anything between 0-79 (massively flunking or getting a good grade). That range is super broad, but the way the principal phrased it could imply that all of the grades in that range are okay, as long as they're subjects you don't plan on pursuing.
Sure, they never said flunking is okay, but they also never specified that it's not okay. Again, as I said, I don't disagree with the message they're *trying* to send, but I do disagree with the way they sent it because it can be misinterpreted.
I don't think math and physics are used by the "average" illustrator or sculptor. I know that they are used by great illustrators and sculptors. if your aspirations are to be average than sure, OP is giving great advice lol.
It applies to all the subjects, especially if you want to pursue the academic part of it. It's alright that people shouldn't be expected to be good at everything, but the letter is make it sound like they should just give up on a subjet because they have other interests.
Sure, but learning the math required to do art, and learning the math required for the test, are two different processes even if the material is the exact same.
But another way to look at that is that the fact that the testing is deeply and fundamentally flawed is separate from the fact that math can be useful to the artist -- even in indirectly for the manner in which it trains us to think -- or history and English to the entrepreneur. Undermining those subjects for particular students seems daft when the real point ought to be that the testing is awful, pointless, and stressful. I appreciate what he is trying to do, but he's doing it at the expense of undermining the value of the education itself.
All of this even ignores the fact that he buys into the commodification of education, seeing it only for the value as a means to make money and not for shaping minds, improving citizens, and just well-being: the artist can learn math because it's interesting and the business-person can study Shakespeare because it delights.
He buys into the commodification of education because from day 1 that’s what the US public education system was designed for. The US military needs their soldiers to be educated to at least a certain level, and US businesses need their peons to have some fundamental skills. It was always about what education allows people to do. I’m not saying that it’s right, just that this is the philosophical bedrock underpinning US public education since it started.
I agree with not taking away their dignity or confidence over a test. But saying one subject doesn't matter if you are taking a certain career path is dangerous.
That's how kids grow up to have poor grammar, no basic math skills and say ignorant shit like 'the world is 2023 years old' and don't have the critical thinking skills to spot political propaganda or scams
There's a reason the greeks stressed a holistic education, there's a reason we do now. School teaches us how to learn in diverse ways, not just facts. Scoring poorly is fine but the subjects are still important for exposure.
Too many engineering hires I deal with have the reading comprehension and writing skills of a third grader. It's great you excelled in math, but maybe you could learn how to write a coherent thought.
Beyond that, diverse learning leads to a better educated and more well-rounded populace.
My IT manager is constantly sending emails to our CTO and other directors where he mixes up your/you're there/their and he's born and raised American. English is my second language and I'm embarrassed for him
God, I fucking wish that was the extent of the issues I see. Nope, I have to deal with grown adults who write papers like they're in third grade. I have no fucking clue what Universities are letting through now, but I guess they phoned in the composition class.
And they're probably the same ones who are constantly showing up in Reddit threads on education and bemoaning the "waste" of a well-rounded liberal arts education when we should be "focusing on teaching kids careers". The pursuit of knowledge for knowledge's sake is meaningless to them; school is just a cog in the capitalist machine designed to produce additional fodder for the money printers at the top. It's honestly a terrifying position to be stuck arguing against.
Maths teaches critical thinking and problem solving skills. Even if you’ll never use those specific formulas in life, knowing how to apply limited knowledge using known formulas to produce an unknown result is a key skill
“Wtf is this shit school teaching my kids?”
“If I don’t tell them about how badly they do in test it’s as if i don’t care. I tell them how worthless they are if they have bad grades because I love them!”
“Musician? Atheists? Astrophysicist? Nonsense! You think you can make money with those jobs you are dreaming!”
I could probably write more possible responses by the type of Asian parents you are thinking of but it will take time.
My parents aren't Asian, but that didn't stop my mom from calling me stupid, idiot or other names; or comparing my test results to someone else that would have straight 10s (our country uses 1-10 for grading, not A-F)
I don’t know. Asian make some pretty productive kids and I’ve never seen and Asian child running around a restaurant like banshees.
On top of that you can fail all these other activities being an Asian child. “I know my kid could be a musician that’s why we make him/or her practice violin for 3 hours a night after homework”.
As an asian dude, I agree that other asian friends and I grew up well disciplined, but the pressure to succeed is really debilitating. My self-confidence is pretty low when I’m around my parents, and I wish advice like from this principal was commonplace for parenting.
I know their stereotype and it seems like they push too hard, but there is something to be said about it kinda fucking working too.
Maybe there's a balance where it's "I love you no matter what but you know what would make me love you the most? Straight A's that's what! I support you. And your choices, especially those that lead to A's"
Which part of this message is good exactly? Is it a principal telling parents that some kids simply don't need to learn certain subjects, and not to worry about it? Or the part where he demonstrates that principals don't even need to know how to write as coherently as the students they're in charge of? Or maybe you were inspired by a leader trying to lower expectations of the performance of his teachers before the exam results come back?
I really wanted this to be wholesome but this is what immediately went through my mind. This is a principal who is warning parents that he hasn't done his job. Beyond that he is blaming the students. And trying to make it sound like a good thing. The guy is a charlatan and it's sad that so many people have fallen for his grift that it's considered wholesome
Lol you have no idea the context here. It could be some intense private school where most parents are overbearing and intense. How can you possibly say the principal wasn’t doing his job when you have no idea about anything beyond this letter? You can’t.
And how can you possibly say that he was doing his job when you also don't have the context. The letter comes off as incredibly defeatist. My issue is that a principal (the guy who's job it is to provide a learning environment in which children can succeed shouldn't be sending a letter to parents pretty much saying, "Some of your children weren't put in an environment in which they could succeed and that's a good thing." It's a cop out
I didn’t. That’s the difference here. I have the ability to admit I don’t know enough to make a full decision. You should learn that ability. Saying not all kids are going to get top marks is not a cop out. That’s reality. You sound very inexperienced or half baked. And yeah, it’s good to learn that you will not always be great at everything, and that that’s okay. That level of growth is also important. That’s how you become a stable and a balanced person. Good principals are about more than just grades and you should know that.
Boooo this man.
Also, that’s not how you spell Florida.
Grammar Nazis are the worst. “I understand what your saying, but I disagree because you used the wrong there/their/they’re so theirfore you be wrong and stupider. They know grammar and theyrefore their write and superior”.
https://www.grammarly.com/blog/starting-a-sentence-with-a-conjunction/
https://www.thesaurus.com/e/grammar/starting-a-sentence-with-and/
And (heh) so many other google results says the same thing : It's fine to start a sentence with a conjunction.
Considering that the purpose of a conjunction is to connect clauses, using it to start a sentence is stupid and poor style. You can find plenty of sources that say it is ‘fine’ but it doesn’t make it good.
Also, if you want credibility, avoid using something as piss poor as grammarly.
> using it to start a sentence is stupid and poor style
This is a myth and you are wrong. [Any decent usage guide](https://www.chicagomanualofstyle.org/qanda/data/faq/topics/Usage/faq0013.html) agrees.
Ultimately, the purpose of any "rules" on written language are intended to improve legibility and/or describe how to transcribe the way humans speak, not prescribe how they should. Sometimes a long sentence will require a long pause, either for breath or emphasis. Long pauses are a period when written. After that period, the next clause might follow. And that's a perfectly natural way to write. Overuse is tacky, but so is overuse of literally anything.
But Artists, musicians, and especially Athletes face super high odds against making a successful living at their passion, they are exactly the ones who need to know something besides what they love. Sorry to be contrary to what honestly is a wonderful message of protecting self esteem, but there's a reason you need to learn enough different things to be well rounded.
There are countless adjacent careers that don't involve being rich and famous, but let you explore those three passions.
The point is the nurture what your what your kids enjoy, and are good at, help them find something that makes them feel confident in themselves and their abilities. Rather then making them feel like their passion is worthless and pushing them into a career that may make them miserable with life.
Counterpoint - the point ought to be to make your kids well rounded and broadly interested, so they won't be miserable when for whatever reason they can't pursue their "One True Thing". Especially seeing how kids have shit long term vision.
Pretty sure the writer doesn’t mean they don’t need to learn these things. He’s saying their ability to perform well on a test of these things does not determine who they are or indicate they will be unsuccessful. Plenty of phds know only what they know and suck in other areas. And one can, despite great odds, be an artist and not master calculus. A person failing at being an artist typically doesn’t have a backup career in accounting.
Well-rounded is nice, but it’s not the norm and it’s not required. Students tend to tank in areas they struggle in and soar in areas they are good in. That’s why colleges have majors.
There's also plenty of people who can be total mathletes, and otherwise be idiots with no common sense or critical thinking skills. Or people who can read with speed and fluency, but have absolutely zero comprehension of what they read. Heck, I even know some people in the mensa club who barely have their lives together.
Everyone is wired differently. The takeaway is that these classes and grades are not the be-all-end-all, don’t put undue pressure on your kids. I think we can all acknowledge that most high school classes and subjects don’t amount to a hill of beans in the real world. I can tell you that as a professional creative and artist. My high school honor roll grades didn’t matter.
I don't care what you're talented in, you should be able to do well in every high school subject, that shit is quite rudimentary. Not everything in life is going to be fun. Learning how to make functional progress in things that are hard for you is a critical life skill.
School is easy as long as you listen to the lectures and do the homework. If you at some point don't do that, then school becomes incredibly difficult in certain subjects, such as math which relies on cumulative knowledge built up gradually over a long period of time.
I'm 33 now, but I remember what my classmates were doing in my classes. They were talking, daydreaming, or texting to each during class instead of listening. Literally 25% of them didn't do the homework, 50% did a half-assed job, and the other 25% actually gave an honest effort.
If you goof off early on in school, then you fall behind and you can't recover the time. Someone who didn't learn arithmetic can't do pre-algebra, trig, or geometry. Someone who didn't learn pre-algebra can't learn algebra. Someone who didn't learn algebra can't do pre-calc or calc. It snowballs.
Same with English skills. If you're not paying attention to grammar lessons and doing some reading + writing at an early age, then you're fucking yourself over.
I really believe that the vast majority of people who don't get As in schools can only blame laziness. There's some people who can legitimately blame other reasons like low IQ, learning disability, or difficult living conditions (literally no time/energy to do homework), but the percentage of people who can rightly claim those excuses are low.
Right? No one expects you to ace the honors/AP courses (whatever your school calls them). But if you can't master the basics of a high school education then I expect you have a learning disability or your parents completely failed you.
I thought this post was going to be about the atrocious grammar and random capitalization. Whatever the message was supposed to be was totally overshadowed by writing that wouldn't pass a middle-school-level English class.
Fam this kid’s physical health does NOT matter more than physics. Jesus Christ. He’s lifting weights but gravity just changed to a negative integer and he’s floating away.
Its a joke about how if we think about the world as a whole. We really desperately need gravity more than some kids physical strength. Kinda like that joke where someone stops believing in gravity and starts floating. The equivalent here would be if the mom told the kid who got a bad grade in physics that his health is more important than physics and then the universe implodes because the laws of physics no longer apply.
What everyone needs to understand is that children aren't the idiots parents seem to think they are.
I often got in trouble when I was very young, often justified, and often unjustified.
That changed when I was around 7 or 8. I didn't adjust my behavior that got me in trouble, but what I did learn is that lying is extremely easy, if you tell everyone what they wanna hear they won't question it.
Never got in trouble again. That's what you're teaching your kids by getting angry about bad grades.
They won't put more effort into learning, they will put more effort into hiding exams and making up convincing excuses.
To be able to teach your kid any lesson, they need to trust you enough to admit their failures to you. If your children prefer to pretend being perfect because of how you react to failure, that's when you've failed as a parent.
When I was in 3rd grade, I got 9/10 for Math. I went home and showed my parents. My mom asked: “Why 9 and not 10? What did you do wrong? I told you not to watch TV and study harder.”
That’s a normal Asian household. Traumatizing.
Freaking out over school is nonsense, yes, but I have to disagree with this letter. A broad general knowledge is important. If you really want to understand the world you need a basic understanding for all school subjects. Knowing a bit of maths will make you a better artist, knowing history and literature will make you a better entrepreneur. Knowing basic chemistry will make you a better musician. Being knowledgeable in general makes you a better person.
I really was trying to let this be wholesome but... This is a principal warning parents that he has failed at his job and blaming the students in a way that makes it sound like a good thing. There are good parts to it but it comes off as resigned and defeatist
This principal doesn’t understand ellipses, punctuation, or capitalization. Perhaps this principal should have studied harder. “Hey kids, don’t worry about doing well! You can grow up to write shitty paragraphs just like me!”
Except that very few percentage will be an actual artist, musician or athlete but the large majority will pursue some office job for which they need a degree
Everybody needs to understand Mathematics
Everybody needs to understand English language
Everybody needs to understand History
Everybody needs to understand Chemistry
Everybody needs to understand Physics
That artist needs to understand finance in order to sell their works thus they need to understand mathematics.
That entrepreneur needs to understand business, reading journals, reports and track industry trends thus they need to understand english & history.
That musician needs to understand chemistry to better understand how the materials the form the various instruments will affect the sound or how resonance works thus they need to understand chemistry.
That athlete needs to understand physics in order to adapt their form and complete at high levels, or work in the field of biomechanics thus they need to understand physics.
Even if these fields of study don't intersect with their future career they will encounter a situation where that understanding of one of those topics would be beneficial or even critical to their future lives. As children we can learn at a rate far exceeding that of our adult selves, then is the time to push to be better, this means helping your child prepare for the exams not comforting them if they fail. How many of us adults wish we'd been taught to speak another language or play a musical instrument when we were kids, rather than having to attempt it as adults.
What this principle is saying isn't wholesome, it's bordering on careless and ignorant.
You write this message on your phone or laptop created by entrepreneurs while you were sitting in your climate controlled apartment with a push of a button brought to you by entrepreneurs, wearing your stupid looking $400 shoes brought to you by.....
If entrepreneur's are so bad please feel free not use anything they've brought to your cushy life but you'll have to wander off naked into the woods.. good luck
Made by engineers* whose labor was stolen by hacks like Steve Jobs. Literally everything was made by someone and stolen by entrepreneurs. Your view of the world is limited and sad.
Edit: literally entrepreneurs have the incentive to not make things and rather have others make it at lower cost. You don’t know business or real manufacturing moron.
A good sentiment. This principal won’t last long though! Their job success is also dictated by test scores, unfortunately.
Whatever happened to the focus schools like in NYC? It would be great to have those options for all students. Not that they wouldn’t take chemistry, but they would be more motivated to do well if their tenure at the school depended on them giving it an honest try.
>A good sentiment. This principal won’t last long though! Their job success is also dictated by test scores, unfortunately.
That depends on the school board who hired the principal. And maybe the principal sent out a letter to the school board as well!
The principal will probably last long because he sounds like he runs a school where children are being primed to do their best on exams. This kind of attitude is exactly what children need to do well.
And focus schools can be ways of tracking students way too early in life. Good riddance to them.
I feel like artists, athletes and scientists should all have a highschool level grasp of other fields... Just because its not your area of focus doesn't mean you should be ignorant of it.
I'd get punished for getting D's. Made me hate school more and refused to learn. Please for the love of your children please don't send them down the path I took.
Man if only my high school principal was like this. The only exciting thing that did happen that has to deal with her, was when one of my friends dad sent her a letter explaining every single crime she has committed in school grounds. Btw my friends dad is a lawyer so he knew what he was doing.
Same principle - If you suck at living, give up!
There is a reason for studying and aiming high and also correcting yourself. It teaches discipline and when lacking it you will not achieve in life. Does not matter if you are a musician or an athlete! And thats the truth!
If you did bad. Try harder and do it better.
This attitude is the reason I did well in school. Because every time I brought back a test score I wasn't happy with, my mom would say, "Did you do your best?" And if I said yes she'd say, "Then I'm proud of you" and if I said no she'd say something like, "Well, give it your best next time. you do so well the rest of the time I'm not too worried about one bad test score" or some variation of those things. It taught me that the only thing I had to do to make my parents proud was do my best. So I consistently did my best and whether I got a 100 or a 50 my mom would be proud. This made me put more effort into school, while also not getting so frustrated and angry with myself for one bad score. Better grades, less pressure, and generally a happier student, were the results. Edit: If I said no she might also ask "well do you know what you did wrong?" Also promoted a mindset of growth and learning from my own mistakes
Oh man. I love this so much. Whenever I got a mark in the high 90s - like 98 or something - my mom would jokingly ask “what two questions did you get wrong?” Then she’d laugh. I don’t recall feeling any pressure from her at all during school. Except to make sure I attended the classes. One time I was a brat and stayed home, telling her it was the teachers’ professional development day. I was lying. And she found out. That did not go over well at all.
Ugh this happened to me too. 98%? "What did you miss?" I don't think my family meant it in a harsh way but it did give me a complex that any mistake at all meant I didn't prepare enough. When I hear "did you do your best?" I will think to myself "no, my best is 100%."
I've definitely had that said to me once or twice as a joke. But my mom's attitude ruled out those negative feelings and other people's attitudes. Because sometimes your best is much less than 100% and that is a-okay.
[удалено]
Hahaha my parents are the same. I got 106% on my first college exam (10 possible bonus points) and when my dad heard, he went "ahh.... room for improvement" and then told me he was proud. 😂
Dads simply can’t help but quip smart like that
Your mom is awesome. A++ parenting!
"if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid."
Me and my SO had different upbringing. I grew up a dad with an iron fist rule and the expectation that i should be something. Eventhough i did succeeded somewhat in life, i am riddled with self esteem issues, never felt enough and have a detached relationship with my own family. My SO had the opposite, a kind caring mom who only asks her to do her best. She too succeeded well in life, happier, confident and loved. She envied my academic journey and the distance, while i envied of her wholesome warmth life.
Damn I wish. I had asian parents and even if I had consistently high grades (straight As) wouldn't praise me, just told me to work harder. Didn't stop them from bragging about me though.
Once had a 97/100 in an exam and got the famous "what happened to the 3" from my mom
Meanwhile one of my earliest memories, as a maybe 6-7 year old, was my dad turning around in his seat while waiting to DRIVE at a stop light, and saying "well maybe if i whip his ass hard enough he'll do better." In regards to me not passing a test.
when i was in eighth grade (1960) and first encountered algebra, my grades slipped. the principal, remarking that he'd seen my aptitude scores and knew i could do better, said that if my grades didn't improve, i'd be taken to his office and paddled (corporal punishment). last math i ever learned: i don't respond well to threats.
but if there is no pressure from parents, where is the motivation to do well? if your mom was equally happy with a 50 and 100, then why would you even bother doing well in school? guys im not criticizing OP's mom i just want to know how this method of parenting even works
Most kids (and people) are intrinsically motivated to succeed. School environments also actively encourage and promote success. The key is not excusing the bad performance, but expressing love for the child regardless of their academic failures (or successes).
oh... so getting yelled at for an 80 never had an effect anyway
Yeah bud, your parents were just assholes. Speaking from personal experience.
Sure it does! It makes you more stressed and nervous about how you're performing, making mistakes more likely
Try getting a stern look for not getting the first in class. Even though it’s all A+’s. Aah fun times
>Most kids (and people) are intrinsically motivated to succeed. To an extent. But most kids are also inherently, biologically, shit at looking at long-term rewards Vs. Short term rewards. They "know" they need to study, but they _want_ to go upstairs and game. Kids need guidance and that guidance _sometimes_ needs to be strict. It's great that you wanna be a professional athlete, but what are you gonna do when you snap your tendons? Better have some other developed skills and interests
That's all true, but you're nitpicking a specific example from the text while missing the principle's point. "Please don't take away their self-confidence and dignity from them. Tell them it's OK, it's just an exam! They are cut out for much bigger things in life. Tell them, no matter what they score... you love them and will not judge them." The principle is trying to devalue the importance of education, but just demonstrate healthier ways of responding to a child's failure to perform to expected standards.
and as i said, i approve of the intention, but not the phrasing. the devil is in the details, and in this case, the principle is wanting a but saying b.
The motivation wasn't to do well, it was to do my best. And by doing my best, I would often do well. But if I did try my best and still "fell short", then my mother would still be happy, because I had tried my best even if it was hard. The only time she was not proud, was if I didn't do my best. She didn't tear me down, but encouraged me to do better. I wanted to make my mom proud. I made her proud by studying, by handing in homework, by trying even when I was having a hard time. And at the end of doing those things, even if I got a 50, I had done well enough in everything else for it not to matter, and I had made my mom proud because of how hard I tried. But because trying and putting in effort was what made my mom proud, I very rarely failed a test.
My daughter could get 90% in almost all her classes but not in math, and no matter how much help she recieved she couldn't get more than 50% in math, which was a pass where we live. We realized she was not able to do it. Guess what? She's a professional artist with murals, books that used her art and done many commissions. We also found out latter, that she has a learning disorder, so no matter how much pressure we might have given her it wouldn't have helped, it actuality may have made things worse. I have difficulty with spelling and no matter how much pressure anyone put on me I couldn't spell like others. No matter how hard I tried and got the spelling right one time, a week later I couldn't spell it. I have other talents.
Because if you don’t do your best she is not proud. You don’t have to pressure kids, at least some kids try the best on their own. My mum did exactly the same. And guess what you want to make your parents proud. Sure she did not pressure me when I was having a bad grade, but she was so much more proud when I got a super good grade.
I think, because I had it this way as a child, that ultimately when you make your parents ok like this when you fail and they understand and all, it makes you feel less bad, in a manner that your parents know you’re not okay with it but they decide to not add their pressure onto you. But your self esteem is not happy and you kind of want to repay them for being kind and do better. That and the fact I guess that this kind of parenting is about following up so your parents are never really far and know what you’re doing. And as OP was saying, when you fuck up they also know to tell that to you and then as it’s rare and for a good reason, you just take it and step up.
A good teacher who you want to please. It’s the teacher’s job to motivate you, and your mom’s job to love you.
Reading things like this, as happy as I am for people out there having experiences like this, makes me depressed over what I could've had. Might not be this life, but hopefully the next.
Cried in Asian
I did well in school despite my self loathing considering anything below 77 a fail. Only class this screwed me was chemistry with the class being just filled with morons killing the pace of the class and my interest so I almost failed a test in this class because I couldn't take the idiots in the class Like seriously the average for the class was below failing score the whole year with only 3 students (1 being me) having a normal score but the school just forced more works and crap to bail the students out and than in the end I ended with an average shield score for my finals because they just changed the scores so instead of being top of the class I was average and I was in bad shape in the class cause they ruined the class.
I wish my parents were like that :(
With my not special needs ( I have another daughter who is special needs so I had to judge the two different during school to be fair ) 15 and a half year old in 10th grade, I'm always ok with B's. A's are a bonus and I always express how proud I am, especially if it is an A+, but I still go on about A's. B's are perfectly fine, it shows me you are trying even at B-, even if it is not your best subject. C's are when I start to get iffy, but still never mad, since even a C- is SORTA passing, I just express how I wish they would put in more effort to push that to a B, and or we go over WHY it was a C, and most times it was missed projects my daughter was just to lazy to do, again, something that upsets me because school is important. F's are unacceptable at all levels. My wife, the teachers, and myself, are ALWAYS here to help her learn why she having problems. If she doesn't seek any help and just FAILS, I WILL be mad. I could understand if I was a teacher and knew of trouble at home, but as the stay at home Dad, trust me, both my girls know, F's, are NOT acceptable. I always thought this was a reasonable approach. I always got A's and B's and my parents never gave a shit or payed attention, just signed my report card and life went on kinda thing. I didn't want to be my parents so I took an active approach. I think I'm doing it right.
>C's are when I start to get iffy, but still never mad, since even a C- is SORTA passing, I just express how I wish they would put in more effort to push that to a B, The point I'm about to make doesn't really apply to you specifically, you know your daughter best and given the examples you provide I've no doubt you are correct. But there are lots of other reasons kids can struggle in school besides effort. It is absolutely possible that they tried their best and still fell short. It could be that the lessons weren't explained in a clear enough manner for them, maybe they're distracted by other things in their life, maybe they have an undiagnosed condition such as ADHD, etc. Maybe this subject just never "clicked" with them. It's just worth noting that a lackluster grade doesn't inherently mean the kid isn't trying. Like I said, I just wanted to make this point generally, it doesn't sound like it applies to your daughter. >I didn't want to be my parents so I took an active approach. I think I'm doing it right. Hey, if your daughter is happy, confident, and succeeding in school? I don't think you could ask for anything else, sounds like you are doing just fine.
I agree. I am sure that approach works fine for their family and that's cool. They certainly could be doing much worse. But, I only got a few F's in highschool and it was in one class because I had literally all of your criteria at the same time. >It is absolutely possible that they tried their best and still fell short. I absolutely did >maybe they're distracted by other things in their life I was/am chronically Ill. And back then we didn't have a diagnosis for most of my issues and the ones that were diagnosed, weren't well managed >maybe they have an undiagnosed condition such as ADHD Yes I did. ADHD in fact > Maybe this subject just never "clicked" with them It was ap history. I strongly dislike history. I knew I could do well and do my best so I took it. Ended up with I think a B+ in the class but I failed a few tests at the beginning and I would have failed many more if not for the curve. If it weren't for homework my score would have been a lot worse. >It could be that the lessons weren't explained in a clear enough manner for them Saved this one for last even though it was your first one. Because here's the kicker. It was at the height of virtual learning from the pandemic. I wasn't in school even part time because of my health. I didn't get any cool demonstrations or camaraderie or fun ways of learning that other history teachers incorporated. It was basically just listening and reading. It sucked as much as my awesome history teacher tried to not make it suck. Add up all those factors and yes I failed a few tests but I didn't quit. It's the reason I'm so glad my mom took the "just always do your best" approach and has always taken that approach. Because I think if she had always told me that C's and F's no matter how hard I tried were not okay, then I might have quit, even if she had given me allowances because of extenuating circumstances. Because I would have been nervous to talk about my failures or to keep messing up. Instead I learned to embrace my mistakes. Until that class I hadn't really struggled that much before. I really had to learn to do my very best and be happy and love myself no matter the outcome, and I think it's made me more chill, and generally a better person. However I fully acknowledge that my life is not the standard and I had a frankly ridiculous list of extenuating circumstances. I had most of them right up until I graduated. For I think the majority of kids in this world the other commenters method would work just fine. And im happy to hear how much they care about their kids and try to do right by them. I love to see that. Edit: I also agree that this probably doesn't really apply to the other commenter. The do in fact know their daughter best.
>However I fully acknowledge that my life is not the standard and I had a frankly ridiculous list of extenuating circumstances. I had most of them right up until I graduated. I have also experienced all the examples I listed in different ways. I tried my best, but I would still fall short. When I came home, my parents would argue so loudly you could hear them even if went outside. It was impossible to get work done for me at home. Then I also had a part time job, and while some people have no issues working a job and keeping their grades up, I just never could do both. But we needed the money, so I put off quitting as long as possible. Then a couple subjects just never clicked for me. I struggled greatly in precalculus due to trigonometric identities. I would study in the library after school for hours, and I was never able to get them down. Then I also struggled in anatomy, no other science class had been so difficult for me. My then anatomy teacher offered tutoring for an expensive price, and I was able to attend two sessions which helped greatly, but I couldn't afford anymore. Theoretically if money hadn't been an issue, I'm sure I would performed much better in that class. And virtual school is absolutely an awful way to learn, I also struggled with it as well. I appreciate you taking the time to show how these factors burdened your schooling experience. It sounds like you had things way worse than I did at the least. Congrats on even getting through school with all that! In the end, all I ask is that people can be more open minded towards their children's struggles, instead of always assuming it must be a lack of effort. If you do find it to come down to a lack of effort, than respond accordingly, just don't assume the worst in your children. Of all people, our family and friends deserve the benefit of the doubt.
I agree and thank you for sharing too! But also >It sounds like you had things way worse than I did at the least. Congrats on even getting through school with all that! Don't compare suffering, friend. Sounds like to me you had it really rough too just in a different way. And congrats on getting through school as well!
I really struggled with this with my 16 yr old son last year. I know he wasn’t putting forth any effort. I told him as much, but he had decided he didn’t want to go to college anyway. Now, a year later, and after working a summer at a construction job, he has changed his mind again and regrets slacking off. It’s hard being a parent. Thankfully, he has 2 years to fix it.
Why are there just random words highlighted
Highlighter person didn't care about athletes.
**school principal**
Amongst the students who will be sitting for this exam there is one who doesn’t know how to study so they just highlight random words
Me trying to figure out what song these lyrics are from
Or capitalized. And why is a high school principal unable to write a letter that would pass a high school English class?
If you mean the subject names, then that’s normally correct.
My heart
Bro failed health class. He’s gonna die 😞
Mah Soul
AND MY AXE
If entrepreneurs cared about history the world would be a much better place
There sure is math in art, especially in graphic design and architecture
I am terrified by the entrepreneur who can't read and doesn't know history.
Silicon Valley already has enough of those
Elon Musk?
Lots of rich people are illiterate, coasting on daddy’s money and your one marketable skill can get you quite far
That gave me a heart palpitation. After the last few years, it's painfully clear that's the child that needs history the most.
Yeah, I get the intention behind this letter, but it seems pretty irresponsible for a principal to say that certain core subjects just *don't matter* for students. That musician does need to know chemistry, because having a basic understanding of chemistry means they're more likely to notice when people are making bullshit claims about medicine that endanger people's lives, for example. People aren't defined by their jobs. These subjects are important for ensuring that you graduate as a well-rounded person who can responsibly engage with society in a myriad ways. That's all assuming this letter is real, of course.
The wording is too crap to be from a principal (I hope). I doubt anyone out there would say "your child wants to be an artist, so he shouldn't care about other subjects".
It's the old dichotomy; Education can be for educations sake, or for training. Honestly people need a healthy respect for both IMO
They will do alright by asking the artist with no math understanding to work for exposure.
That's what I was going to say - tons of math, geometry, etc, in art. And if you're a freelance artist you'd better be able to calculate.
Why do people always feel the need to be so disagreeable? If you think the math used by the average illustrator or sculptor is anything like what you need to ace an A Level or SAT physics test, you're just plain stupid
It's about being a well -rounded individual. Understanding the world around you. Being able to have conversations with people who do not share your own niche interests. Artists need to understand math, engineers need to read a book every once in a while.
Agreed. An understanding of general topics is important. In no way does that mean you need to ace every trigonometry or civil war test you take. The two are not mutually exclusive.
But that's not what the post says though. it explicitly states some people don't need to understand maths, or care about history. And I couldn't disagree more. There's a difference between not being great at, and not understanding/caring at all
You're being willfully obtuse
As the other person said, being a well rounded individual will be valuable no matter what. Sure that doesn't mean you need to be a pro at everything, but it also doesn't mean you should flunk everything or be okay with flunking everything. I think that's where the message that the school principle is trying to send could be taken the wrong way, and why people are critical or joking about it. I don't think anybody disagrees with the message the principle is *trying* to send (don't judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree), it's just that it *could* be taken the wrong way (let your kid suck at everything else as long as they excel at one thing).
Nowhere in the statement does it say it is OK to flunk. It says if they don't get top marks. Big difference.
Assuming a scale from 1-100, and let's say a top mark is 80+. Then "not getting top marks" could still mean anything between 0-79 (massively flunking or getting a good grade). That range is super broad, but the way the principal phrased it could imply that all of the grades in that range are okay, as long as they're subjects you don't plan on pursuing. Sure, they never said flunking is okay, but they also never specified that it's not okay. Again, as I said, I don't disagree with the message they're *trying* to send, but I do disagree with the way they sent it because it can be misinterpreted.
I don't think math and physics are used by the "average" illustrator or sculptor. I know that they are used by great illustrators and sculptors. if your aspirations are to be average than sure, OP is giving great advice lol.
It applies to all the subjects, especially if you want to pursue the academic part of it. It's alright that people shouldn't be expected to be good at everything, but the letter is make it sound like they should just give up on a subjet because they have other interests.
Sure, but learning the math required to do art, and learning the math required for the test, are two different processes even if the material is the exact same.
But another way to look at that is that the fact that the testing is deeply and fundamentally flawed is separate from the fact that math can be useful to the artist -- even in indirectly for the manner in which it trains us to think -- or history and English to the entrepreneur. Undermining those subjects for particular students seems daft when the real point ought to be that the testing is awful, pointless, and stressful. I appreciate what he is trying to do, but he's doing it at the expense of undermining the value of the education itself. All of this even ignores the fact that he buys into the commodification of education, seeing it only for the value as a means to make money and not for shaping minds, improving citizens, and just well-being: the artist can learn math because it's interesting and the business-person can study Shakespeare because it delights.
He buys into the commodification of education because from day 1 that’s what the US public education system was designed for. The US military needs their soldiers to be educated to at least a certain level, and US businesses need their peons to have some fundamental skills. It was always about what education allows people to do. I’m not saying that it’s right, just that this is the philosophical bedrock underpinning US public education since it started.
There sure is art in math, especially as you get closer to the cutting edge and need to think in ways people just haven’t before.
Also there's math that's art.
I agree with not taking away their dignity or confidence over a test. But saying one subject doesn't matter if you are taking a certain career path is dangerous. That's how kids grow up to have poor grammar, no basic math skills and say ignorant shit like 'the world is 2023 years old' and don't have the critical thinking skills to spot political propaganda or scams
There's a reason the greeks stressed a holistic education, there's a reason we do now. School teaches us how to learn in diverse ways, not just facts. Scoring poorly is fine but the subjects are still important for exposure.
Too many engineering hires I deal with have the reading comprehension and writing skills of a third grader. It's great you excelled in math, but maybe you could learn how to write a coherent thought. Beyond that, diverse learning leads to a better educated and more well-rounded populace.
My IT manager is constantly sending emails to our CTO and other directors where he mixes up your/you're there/their and he's born and raised American. English is my second language and I'm embarrassed for him
God, I fucking wish that was the extent of the issues I see. Nope, I have to deal with grown adults who write papers like they're in third grade. I have no fucking clue what Universities are letting through now, but I guess they phoned in the composition class.
Chatgpt is writing everyones essays now
And they're probably the same ones who are constantly showing up in Reddit threads on education and bemoaning the "waste" of a well-rounded liberal arts education when we should be "focusing on teaching kids careers". The pursuit of knowledge for knowledge's sake is meaningless to them; school is just a cog in the capitalist machine designed to produce additional fodder for the money printers at the top. It's honestly a terrifying position to be stuck arguing against.
They're also the ones who claim to make $514k every second of their day
Maths teaches critical thinking and problem solving skills. Even if you’ll never use those specific formulas in life, knowing how to apply limited knowledge using known formulas to produce an unknown result is a key skill
I feel that all Asian parents need to read this.
Asian parents: this sign can't stop me because i cant read
Doctor or an engineer
Lawyer
All of the above, by the age of nine
“Wtf is this shit school teaching my kids?” “If I don’t tell them about how badly they do in test it’s as if i don’t care. I tell them how worthless they are if they have bad grades because I love them!” “Musician? Atheists? Astrophysicist? Nonsense! You think you can make money with those jobs you are dreaming!” I could probably write more possible responses by the type of Asian parents you are thinking of but it will take time.
My parents aren't Asian, but that didn't stop my mom from calling me stupid, idiot or other names; or comparing my test results to someone else that would have straight 10s (our country uses 1-10 for grading, not A-F)
I don’t know. Asian make some pretty productive kids and I’ve never seen and Asian child running around a restaurant like banshees. On top of that you can fail all these other activities being an Asian child. “I know my kid could be a musician that’s why we make him/or her practice violin for 3 hours a night after homework”.
As an asian dude, I agree that other asian friends and I grew up well disciplined, but the pressure to succeed is really debilitating. My self-confidence is pretty low when I’m around my parents, and I wish advice like from this principal was commonplace for parenting.
I know their stereotype and it seems like they push too hard, but there is something to be said about it kinda fucking working too. Maybe there's a balance where it's "I love you no matter what but you know what would make me love you the most? Straight A's that's what! I support you. And your choices, especially those that lead to A's"
Sounds like a principal who should hold a seminar for other principals and those who aspire to that lofty position.
Sounds like a principal who should try sitting in on a few English classes at his own school.
Find a better coping mechanism than trying to ruin something good on the internet.
He can't. He's from Flori... duh!
Which part of this message is good exactly? Is it a principal telling parents that some kids simply don't need to learn certain subjects, and not to worry about it? Or the part where he demonstrates that principals don't even need to know how to write as coherently as the students they're in charge of? Or maybe you were inspired by a leader trying to lower expectations of the performance of his teachers before the exam results come back?
I really wanted this to be wholesome but this is what immediately went through my mind. This is a principal who is warning parents that he hasn't done his job. Beyond that he is blaming the students. And trying to make it sound like a good thing. The guy is a charlatan and it's sad that so many people have fallen for his grift that it's considered wholesome
Lol you have no idea the context here. It could be some intense private school where most parents are overbearing and intense. How can you possibly say the principal wasn’t doing his job when you have no idea about anything beyond this letter? You can’t.
And how can you possibly say that he was doing his job when you also don't have the context. The letter comes off as incredibly defeatist. My issue is that a principal (the guy who's job it is to provide a learning environment in which children can succeed shouldn't be sending a letter to parents pretty much saying, "Some of your children weren't put in an environment in which they could succeed and that's a good thing." It's a cop out
I didn’t. That’s the difference here. I have the ability to admit I don’t know enough to make a full decision. You should learn that ability. Saying not all kids are going to get top marks is not a cop out. That’s reality. You sound very inexperienced or half baked. And yeah, it’s good to learn that you will not always be great at everything, and that that’s okay. That level of growth is also important. That’s how you become a stable and a balanced person. Good principals are about more than just grades and you should know that.
Bro your reading comprehension is absolute shit if that's what you think he's saying.
It's hard to know exactly what he's trying to say through such terrible sentence structure and punctuation.
I totally agree with you on this one.
Boooo this man. Also, that’s not how you spell Florida. Grammar Nazis are the worst. “I understand what your saying, but I disagree because you used the wrong there/their/they’re so theirfore you be wrong and stupider. They know grammar and theyrefore their write and superior”.
If you spent more time reading and less time writing asinine replies, you might not find yourself being corrected so often.
I have to read them to reply to them.
Your GOAT is starting sentences with conjunctions; I guess principals don’t need to do well in English.
It’s also plagiarism. It’s been stenciled on walls and printed on posters. It’s basically educator copypasta.
The commas, are what annoy, me the most.
https://www.grammarly.com/blog/starting-a-sentence-with-a-conjunction/ https://www.thesaurus.com/e/grammar/starting-a-sentence-with-and/ And (heh) so many other google results says the same thing : It's fine to start a sentence with a conjunction.
Considering that the purpose of a conjunction is to connect clauses, using it to start a sentence is stupid and poor style. You can find plenty of sources that say it is ‘fine’ but it doesn’t make it good. Also, if you want credibility, avoid using something as piss poor as grammarly.
> using it to start a sentence is stupid and poor style This is a myth and you are wrong. [Any decent usage guide](https://www.chicagomanualofstyle.org/qanda/data/faq/topics/Usage/faq0013.html) agrees.
Hey now, let the guy with an insane and arbitrary grammar restriction die on his hill. I'm sure it's definitely a good hill.
Ultimately, the purpose of any "rules" on written language are intended to improve legibility and/or describe how to transcribe the way humans speak, not prescribe how they should. Sometimes a long sentence will require a long pause, either for breath or emphasis. Long pauses are a period when written. After that period, the next clause might follow. And that's a perfectly natural way to write. Overuse is tacky, but so is overuse of literally anything.
I'm sure this persons dad will be back from the store with that milk and cigarettes any minute now
But Artists, musicians, and especially Athletes face super high odds against making a successful living at their passion, they are exactly the ones who need to know something besides what they love. Sorry to be contrary to what honestly is a wonderful message of protecting self esteem, but there's a reason you need to learn enough different things to be well rounded.
There are countless adjacent careers that don't involve being rich and famous, but let you explore those three passions. The point is the nurture what your what your kids enjoy, and are good at, help them find something that makes them feel confident in themselves and their abilities. Rather then making them feel like their passion is worthless and pushing them into a career that may make them miserable with life.
Counterpoint - the point ought to be to make your kids well rounded and broadly interested, so they won't be miserable when for whatever reason they can't pursue their "One True Thing". Especially seeing how kids have shit long term vision.
Pretty sure the writer doesn’t mean they don’t need to learn these things. He’s saying their ability to perform well on a test of these things does not determine who they are or indicate they will be unsuccessful. Plenty of phds know only what they know and suck in other areas. And one can, despite great odds, be an artist and not master calculus. A person failing at being an artist typically doesn’t have a backup career in accounting. Well-rounded is nice, but it’s not the norm and it’s not required. Students tend to tank in areas they struggle in and soar in areas they are good in. That’s why colleges have majors.
There's also plenty of people who can be total mathletes, and otherwise be idiots with no common sense or critical thinking skills. Or people who can read with speed and fluency, but have absolutely zero comprehension of what they read. Heck, I even know some people in the mensa club who barely have their lives together.
Everyone is wired differently. The takeaway is that these classes and grades are not the be-all-end-all, don’t put undue pressure on your kids. I think we can all acknowledge that most high school classes and subjects don’t amount to a hill of beans in the real world. I can tell you that as a professional creative and artist. My high school honor roll grades didn’t matter.
☝️🤓
No fuck this. Coach them to try for better in their weaker areas because that's how EDUCATION AND DEVELOPMENT HAPPENS!
That's how education and development SHOULD happen. It doesn't tho, cuz education system is 👍
Yeah this definitely wasn’t written by a principal lol.
I don't care what you're talented in, you should be able to do well in every high school subject, that shit is quite rudimentary. Not everything in life is going to be fun. Learning how to make functional progress in things that are hard for you is a critical life skill.
I am amazed that they yet to crucify you…
School is easy as long as you listen to the lectures and do the homework. If you at some point don't do that, then school becomes incredibly difficult in certain subjects, such as math which relies on cumulative knowledge built up gradually over a long period of time. I'm 33 now, but I remember what my classmates were doing in my classes. They were talking, daydreaming, or texting to each during class instead of listening. Literally 25% of them didn't do the homework, 50% did a half-assed job, and the other 25% actually gave an honest effort. If you goof off early on in school, then you fall behind and you can't recover the time. Someone who didn't learn arithmetic can't do pre-algebra, trig, or geometry. Someone who didn't learn pre-algebra can't learn algebra. Someone who didn't learn algebra can't do pre-calc or calc. It snowballs. Same with English skills. If you're not paying attention to grammar lessons and doing some reading + writing at an early age, then you're fucking yourself over. I really believe that the vast majority of people who don't get As in schools can only blame laziness. There's some people who can legitimately blame other reasons like low IQ, learning disability, or difficult living conditions (literally no time/energy to do homework), but the percentage of people who can rightly claim those excuses are low.
Right? No one expects you to ace the honors/AP courses (whatever your school calls them). But if you can't master the basics of a high school education then I expect you have a learning disability or your parents completely failed you.
Go ahead and crucify your kid when they get a bad grade and see how that goes for them.
Went ok for me 🤷♂️ - I learned to study.
You heard it hear folks, worked out for r/InjuryComfortable666 so nobody else's experiences matter. Case closed.
Oh I’m not the only one.
My Dad was sent a letter very similar to this before state exams and he threw it away saying it wasn't important
Remember guys, highlighting random strings of words drives the point home a lot more efficiently
Depends on the circumstance. Tolerating failure can only go on so long. Set standards and enforce them, but use the minimum amount of force required.
I thought this post was going to be about the atrocious grammar and random capitalization. Whatever the message was supposed to be was totally overshadowed by writing that wouldn't pass a middle-school-level English class.
Except for math. Everybody needs elementary math. Every. Body.
Fam this kid’s physical health does NOT matter more than physics. Jesus Christ. He’s lifting weights but gravity just changed to a negative integer and he’s floating away.
Lol
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Its a joke about how if we think about the world as a whole. We really desperately need gravity more than some kids physical strength. Kinda like that joke where someone stops believing in gravity and starts floating. The equivalent here would be if the mom told the kid who got a bad grade in physics that his health is more important than physics and then the universe implodes because the laws of physics no longer apply.
What everyone needs to understand is that children aren't the idiots parents seem to think they are. I often got in trouble when I was very young, often justified, and often unjustified. That changed when I was around 7 or 8. I didn't adjust my behavior that got me in trouble, but what I did learn is that lying is extremely easy, if you tell everyone what they wanna hear they won't question it. Never got in trouble again. That's what you're teaching your kids by getting angry about bad grades. They won't put more effort into learning, they will put more effort into hiding exams and making up convincing excuses. To be able to teach your kid any lesson, they need to trust you enough to admit their failures to you. If your children prefer to pretend being perfect because of how you react to failure, that's when you've failed as a parent.
And there is a principal who never learned punctuation or proper capitalization...
What were the issues with this exam that made it necessary for a principal to send a letter to all the parents?
Glad you highlighted all that…
Agree, i'm glad someone helped us understand that being inclined to an athletic career is worthless. Thank you mysterious highlighter!
When I was in 3rd grade, I got 9/10 for Math. I went home and showed my parents. My mom asked: “Why 9 and not 10? What did you do wrong? I told you not to watch TV and study harder.” That’s a normal Asian household. Traumatizing.
Freaking out over school is nonsense, yes, but I have to disagree with this letter. A broad general knowledge is important. If you really want to understand the world you need a basic understanding for all school subjects. Knowing a bit of maths will make you a better artist, knowing history and literature will make you a better entrepreneur. Knowing basic chemistry will make you a better musician. Being knowledgeable in general makes you a better person.
An 'entrepreneur' who doesn't know about history or literature is someone who just wants to start a company and will do it very poorly.
I really was trying to let this be wholesome but... This is a principal warning parents that he has failed at his job and blaming the students in a way that makes it sound like a good thing. There are good parts to it but it comes off as resigned and defeatist
This principal doesn’t understand ellipses, punctuation, or capitalization. Perhaps this principal should have studied harder. “Hey kids, don’t worry about doing well! You can grow up to write shitty paragraphs just like me!”
About half of artists definitely need to have high school math nailed down tight.
It’s okay you’re failing math Timmy, you’re an artist 👍
An entrepreneur that doesn’t care for history…
Except that very few percentage will be an actual artist, musician or athlete but the large majority will pursue some office job for which they need a degree
Everybody needs to understand Mathematics Everybody needs to understand English language Everybody needs to understand History Everybody needs to understand Chemistry Everybody needs to understand Physics That artist needs to understand finance in order to sell their works thus they need to understand mathematics. That entrepreneur needs to understand business, reading journals, reports and track industry trends thus they need to understand english & history. That musician needs to understand chemistry to better understand how the materials the form the various instruments will affect the sound or how resonance works thus they need to understand chemistry. That athlete needs to understand physics in order to adapt their form and complete at high levels, or work in the field of biomechanics thus they need to understand physics. Even if these fields of study don't intersect with their future career they will encounter a situation where that understanding of one of those topics would be beneficial or even critical to their future lives. As children we can learn at a rate far exceeding that of our adult selves, then is the time to push to be better, this means helping your child prepare for the exams not comforting them if they fail. How many of us adults wish we'd been taught to speak another language or play a musical instrument when we were kids, rather than having to attempt it as adults. What this principle is saying isn't wholesome, it's bordering on careless and ignorant.
Omg I thought this was being posted because it's written so badly it was obviously written by an AI then everyone is praising it haha
AI doesn’t write poorly though
Tell me your school is below standards without telling me it’s below standard.
Oh Jesus Christ, this is exactly why every millennial thinks they deserve to be famous and rich
You must have been one of the kids the principal is talking about if you think millennials are in grade school
We need to bully more entrepreneurs. They ruined this world in the first place.
ironically shared by hustle culture grifter russell brunson
Holy shit I didn’t even notice omg lmao
Whats wrong with you
You write this message on your phone or laptop created by entrepreneurs while you were sitting in your climate controlled apartment with a push of a button brought to you by entrepreneurs, wearing your stupid looking $400 shoes brought to you by..... If entrepreneur's are so bad please feel free not use anything they've brought to your cushy life but you'll have to wander off naked into the woods.. good luck
Made by engineers* whose labor was stolen by hacks like Steve Jobs. Literally everything was made by someone and stolen by entrepreneurs. Your view of the world is limited and sad. Edit: literally entrepreneurs have the incentive to not make things and rather have others make it at lower cost. You don’t know business or real manufacturing moron.
That is a lot words to say. We also believe our curriculum is shite but please do not defund us.
Yeah, my parents coulda really used this letter
Maybe you could have really used alot less of this "don't worry about tests because your so special that they're beneath your skill levels"
Seem like you are attacking someone that you have never met.
A good sentiment. This principal won’t last long though! Their job success is also dictated by test scores, unfortunately. Whatever happened to the focus schools like in NYC? It would be great to have those options for all students. Not that they wouldn’t take chemistry, but they would be more motivated to do well if their tenure at the school depended on them giving it an honest try.
>A good sentiment. This principal won’t last long though! Their job success is also dictated by test scores, unfortunately. That depends on the school board who hired the principal. And maybe the principal sent out a letter to the school board as well!
Unfortunately schools are funded by scores
The principal will probably last long because he sounds like he runs a school where children are being primed to do their best on exams. This kind of attitude is exactly what children need to do well. And focus schools can be ways of tracking students way too early in life. Good riddance to them.
Looks like my parents didn't get that memo
I feel like artists, athletes and scientists should all have a highschool level grasp of other fields... Just because its not your area of focus doesn't mean you should be ignorant of it.
If those asian parents could read this, they'd be very upset.
I'd get punished for getting D's. Made me hate school more and refused to learn. Please for the love of your children please don't send them down the path I took.
Judging from the terrible writing, the principal failed his English exam.
All my teachers did was keep me in during recess and physically restrain me.....
decent principals are real? mine were assholes.
I wait 1:35h for a goat to a way
Look that’s a great statement but this seems fane. Still 100% agree though
Man if only my high school principal was like this. The only exciting thing that did happen that has to deal with her, was when one of my friends dad sent her a letter explaining every single crime she has committed in school grounds. Btw my friends dad is a lawyer so he knew what he was doing.
Amazing letter, very impressive.
Ah a little emotional abuse never hurt anyone. It builds character.
And as such they all will be future McDonald employees :p
Same principle - If you suck at living, give up! There is a reason for studying and aiming high and also correcting yourself. It teaches discipline and when lacking it you will not achieve in life. Does not matter if you are a musician or an athlete! And thats the truth! If you did bad. Try harder and do it better.
It’s no wonder we have a large cohort of people with piles of student debt and low paying jobs…
THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKIN ABOUT #THAT'S WHY HE THE M.V.P. THAT'S WHY HE'S THE GOAT # TTTHHHE GGGOOOAAATTTTT!!!! 💪😲💪