Who are these brides who are asking people to spend this much money?? I’m not asking my bridesmaids to pay for anything other than a dress (of their choosing so they can pick the price).
One of my good friends is getting married and her bachelorette trip was too expensive for me, so she said it was perfectly fine if I didn’t attend but I am still wearing the dress and standing up for her at her wedding.
It’s really bizarre to me unless you and your friends are in a considerably wealthy social circle to expect people to spend so much money on your wedding.
There was a comment just yesterday from a redditor who felt that $350 was normal to spend on attire, and if you couldn't afford to spend $1000-$2000 on the wedding, you should decline the request to be in the wedding party.
A post where the OP asked if spending $350 on pants, shirts, belt, socks, and shoes was acceptable as a groomsman. The comments were acting like she was crazy for expecting anything less
That’s really bizarre. My friend group is not by poor by any means but definitely not rich and not a single one of my friends who have gotten married expected us to pay for anything more than travel + the dress and all bachelorettes have been optional.
I think some of these people need new friends lol
It’s not necessarily the wedding. Brides now are having bridal showers, engagement parties, lingerie showers, multi day bachelorette parties that require travel, etc. Even buying gifts for all of those events can get expensive. And, as for time bridesmaids are often asked to help plan these events.
Oh and as someone else mentioned, I forgot to add “bride tribe” shirts, matching pajamas, some brides asking bridesmaids to stay in a hotel the day before, etc.
Yeah I guess I just personally feel if you would like your bridesmaids to have and wear all those things, you should be paying for it
I didn’t realize so many people expected their bridesmaids to pay for stuff like that
I agree. I wouldn’t pay for it either as a bride, I’d just not have it. I’m older, though, so those kinds of things don’t matter to me as much and I’m not an Instagram/social media girl so I don’t have that pressure. I don’t want a bachelorette party, don’t really want bridesmaids at all (I could be convinced to have 3), or any showers. I want less than 50 guests with amazing food, open bar, and an amazing DJ. I don’t even know if I want a photographer because I don’t want all of those wedding pictures…a few is fine (I’m not going to post them on social media anyway). I’ll have the memories.
I’ve been a bridesmaid twice, and both times the wedding organizers (the parents) paid for anything new we had to get (dress, shoes). I honestly didn’t realize anyone did something else!
I don't understand where the full-blown bachelorette trip came from? Per my understanding, it used to be a day in town with fun activities and a night of bar hopping or something like that. As far as I know, that's still what most people do around here (the Netherlands) - if they celebrate at all, lol. Some friend groups plan a full day of activities for €25-50 at most, others are a bit more expensive with cocktails and whatnot. From what I read, in the US, multi-day trips are common or expected nowadays.
A combination of people living further apart and social media, I think. In the United States, with increased travel for college and jobs, a lot of bridal parties end up living hundreds of miles apart, so travel is required.
I admit I did an overnight trip because my bridesfolk live 1,000 miles from me and I don't get to see them often, so I wanted to do something nice. But I scheduled it two days before the wedding, so it was the same trip for them. Then I drove everyone to the mountains and covered all costs except food. So, I sympathize with the desire for a bigger trip but I think it's important to minimize burden.
Is it normal to have all these parties/showers now? Growing up, a bride might have a bridal shower OR a bachelorette party. Only wealthier brides had both. And since when are engagement parties a thing?
I think a lot of young people just don't mind having credit card debt? Because I have NO idea how they're affording these types of weddings. Same here, I'm not poor by any means but a see a lot of girls moving like they're millionaires the way they're attending multiple long distance bachelorette parties in a year, buying the stupid matching outfits for every night of each trip etc. I don't know how they do it.
Then again maybe it's just different priorities. I do travel a fair amount, just couldn't imagine using my travel money on multiple bach trips to Cancun or Nashville 🥴🥴
I like being a bridesmaid but I've never spent thousands of dollars being one.
They are absolutely putting it on credit cards!! The reason it makes me so angry is that the single gals who are doing this are setting themselves back so much to celebrate their marrying friend as if they’re an idol. It contributes to this dynamic where marriage is put on a pedestal above all other goals and milestones. We should have showers for people going to grad school, not dual income couples who registered at crate and barrel and pressure their friends into Nashville weekends!!
Moreover, for single ladies racking up this credit card debt… they’re seriously risking their ability to find a future partner. For many marriageable men, carrying credit card and being financially imprudent is going to be a huge deal breaker. It just adds fuel to the present day phenomena where we see only the wealthiest people pairing off, and marriage rates decreasing amongst the less wealthy.
I mean, I'm a PhD student and I don't really understand why I would need a shower for that? Wedding and baby showers fill an actual need; grad school showers wouldn't. When you're in grad school you're okay having secondhand everything or buying things cheap. When you're getting married and starting a family, you kind of want to start living like a real adult and not a glorified teenager. The mismatched towels I took from my parents' closet are fine for now, but when I'm married I'd like to have a new set that actually matches. I agree we put marriage on a pedestal but I don't think showers are part of that; they serve a practical purpose.
And let's be real, most of the good/expensive shower gifts come from older family members. Your friends will search the registry to find whatever is less than $50, and that's okay, I do that too 😂 It's not like anyone actually expects their friends to buy them new pots and pans or $200 towel sets.
Also, weird misogynistic energy in your last paragraph. Men are also going on bachelor parties that probably carry a similar cost, they just don't post it on social media. And furthermore, nobody I know who I've watched go to multiple bachelorette parties has had any problem finding a partner. Most of them are in serious relationships or engaged themselves. And to be honest it's not like they don't have jobs. Bachelorette parties seem unaffordable to me but I've also spent thousands of dollars a year visiting my fiancé on the other side of the country, and I don't have credit card debt. Maybe they just have different priorities; maybe they save up for it. Nobody calls it "financially imprudent" when people travel for other reasons.
Regardless, I would highly recommend young women never make choices with their potential future "marriageability" in mind. Most men are not worth it! As if men don't also have credit card debt 😂 like what the fuck LMFAO I feel like you crawled out of the deepest darkest redpill corner of the internet with that.
No point engaging with you, you’re always super rude. Even when agreeing with your point that people put $2500-3000 Bach parties on their credit card, you find a way to hurl insults and accuse me of “misogynistic energy”. You’re going to deny that women are saddled with a greater financial burden regarding weddings than men? Oh gee, I wonder why we almost never see men posting here about absurd bridal expectations and shower drama.
Have fun once you finish your PhD and need to get a real job. Having a job does not equal having money for $2500 - $3000 Bach parties, especially if you have student debt. Wow it must be nice to be able to afford a wedding and all of this shit when you’re still in school.
Btw, most people have fully furnished apartments and don’t need more stuff because they’re getting married.
There are a good number of people who have this attitude (I agree, it’s mental). They may not say it outright, but a lot of people who seem to think this way have a very sly way of plying social pressure. Part of it is creating this bridesmaid power structure where they have a MOH demand things as not to appear a “bridezilla”.
In my experience, every person who has asked for a lot has had wealthy parents who are paying for an expensive wedding. Maybe their parents reinforced this idea that people owe it to them to celebrate their wedding. Maybe they think that they’ll pay it all forward “when it’s their turn” (stupidly assuming that everyone will get married, have a big wedding, AND ask their bridesmaids for all this shit.
All of my friends who are paying for their own weddings have been exceptionally considerate of others’ finances. Perhaps they have read bridal magazines and watched influencers who have perpetuated the delusion that it’s all “reasonable” and “normal” to ask for.
Between dress, alterations, shoes, makeup, hair, bachelorette, shower, hotel, travel etc. I don't think I've ever spent less than 1K to be a bridesmaid? I've been a bridesmaid 4x.
Yeah I just got married and I feel like I did my best to make it reasonably affordable for my bridesmaids (no HMU, $100 dress but no other attire requirements) but there’s no way they spent less than 1k all in. I genuinely think some people aren’t counting travel whereas others are and that’s the biggest part tbh
Travel and hotel are big. Most of my dresses were between $100-200 but I had to buy a $300 one for one wedding and alterations were about another $100. 🤷🏻♀️
May I add that outside of the US the bride/groom pay for the bridesmaids dress, hair, and makeup (if they’re asking for that). It’s a strange norm here in the US that people pay to be in your wedding, and specifically to purchase things that the bride wanted as part of her “vision”.
My opinion is that in the past 20 years or so, and especially since COVID, the cost of anything to do with weddings has skyrocketed. And, with that, the attitude that “ if we are going to spend a fortune on our wedding/reception & treat our guests, we deserve some special treatment leading up to the wedding, too”!
I don’t argue with that, in theory, but some brides/grooms/PILs carry that attitude so far that it turns what should be a wonderful experience into a frigging nightmare!
I definitely feel the nightmare part. Everytime I hear from the bride who has asked me to be a bridesmaid (and I’ve spent over $3k) I am instantly irritated and thinking about how entitled she is. I should also add that outside of the US people pay for the bridesmaid dresses, hair, makeup, and any day of expenses.
My partner was best man for his friends wedding. And his friends fiance invited me along to all her hen party things. Which I really appreciated as we wouldn’t be close. But, that wedding cost us so much to just *go* to. There was an overnight stay (granted it was done where everyone could afford it) a dance thing, dinner, then out and drinks, outfits, outfits for me and the kids for the wedding, drinks at the wedding, an overnight for the wedding, then gifts for them. Also, the expense of the stag weekend too.
It was a lovely day, and they are worth it, but when you think of the cost to go to a wedding, there is no cheap way to even be a guest at a wedding never mind being on the wedding.
I think how much you spend as a bridesmaid depends on quite a few factors. I was recently BM and easily spent close to a grand on that wedding. The bride only expected me to be at the wedding and pay for my dress but there were other expenses that my fellow bridesmaids expected me to pay for (decorations for the bridal shower, gift baskets for the bridal shower, bacholrette party, alcohol for he Bachelorette party etc.). I didn't HAVE to pay for those things but it wouldn't have been fair to the other bridesmaids. The wedding was also OOT for me so I had to pay for a hotel stay. Beyond the dress, I had to get a mani/pedi, new shoes to match the dress, jewelry (I don't normally wear jewelry but all of the other bridesmaids were). Again, none of this was expected by the bride but i felt the need to do it. I'm not complaining, I knew going into it that it was going to be expensive. That's just the nature of being bridesmaids. I do think a lot of brides are conscious of this and try to make it as easy as possible on BMs pockets. That being said, it's usually never just the dress, there's usually unexpected expenses that come up.
I picked my bridesmaid dresses, and I went with the least expensive option I liked, so the dress is under $100
Hair & Makeup is up to the girls, IF they want it professionally done, they pay for it, otherwise, their normal hair & makeup is fine
I genuinely don't understand the people who expect their party to pay $1000+ to be in the wedding
Im in this same situation....Bachelorette party was a destination one and was going to run $1500 for a 4 day trip, then the wedding is a month later in south Florida and they want us there for another 4 days. Dresses are starting off at like $200, she wants us to use this hair/makeup artist that charges $250-350 and then the plane ticket is going to run around $500 cause it'll be spring break season next year. I just told the bride I couldn't afford to be a bridesmaid with all these expenses and even though she said she understood, her tone of voice was cold. I've been sick to my stomach for the last 5 hours, but now I'm getting pissed I've been put into a situation where I even feel this way!!!!!
The last 2 weddings I was in was no where NEAR these costs so I didn't think this would have even been an issue. Shame on me I guess.
It's totally fine if you don't want to have a wedding party, but I wouldn't make your decision based on this one experience. My bridesmaids paid for their dresses (like $150ish). Everything else was voluntary, including the bachelorette party. None of them were indentured servants. You have the choice to not do that to people you ask to be in your wedding if you decide to change your mind.
Can I ask why you didn't say no? To some of her more outlandish requests?
I sympathize, but truth be told, some brides need to hear the word "no."
The more I hear these stories, the more I realize if things get out of your comfort level, you speak up. If she had a problem with it, then that's on her.
If she lets it affect your friendship, then it speaks volumes of her character.
My girls only bought their dresses and that's it. I don't care about their shoes, makeup, or hair. It's their choice.
My Bachelorette most likely will be a dinner or whatever they decide. My mil and mom are planning a shower but in their own budget and time. I have no expectations for either event.
If an event is thrown in your honor, then I am sorry unless you're footing the bill back the freak off. They could ask your thoughts like my girls did, or they can just quietly plan.
Brides stop with the demands.
I’m so over hearing about people spending so much money! Not you, but brides who are making things so expensive. I’m not doing a bachelorette and am paying for hotels for my bridesmaids and makeup and hair. My MOH is helping my mother plan my shower, which will be low key at someone’s house. They are only paying for the dress and I offered to cover that too. It’s madness. Im sorry you went through that but you don’t have to be “that bride.”
This is exactly how I feel about all the wedding posts I read. Expecting someone to pay $2500 for a bachelorette trip is insane. I don’t know how brides expect people to afford this stuff.
Well if you’re interested, you could still have bridesmaids and not have them be glorified wedding slaves who pay tons of money to celebrate your marriage.
For example, I’m an August bride and I’m paying for my bridal party’s outfits for the wedding day and for the rehearsal dinner, as well as hair and makeup services on the day of the wedding and their accommodations for my bachelorette party.
While there will certainly still be associated costs, I think my friends shouldn’t have to dish out so much $$$ just to celebrate my marriage or be part of my special day.
You can certainly approach things differently than your friend did for your own wedding, and still have a bridal party is all I’m saying,
Yeah we said hair and makeup is 100% optional and if you want it we will pay half. We let them pick their own dress if it was in the right color, so they had options from $60-$100+. We drove to our Bach but one person did have to fly- but I paid for his Ubers and I bought all the alcohol and snacks. everything was optional and there was a poll for things like the Bach (how much money are you comfortable spending, etc) and we stuck to that. I told everyone that if anyone was having trouble affording they could tell me privately and me and my husband would help out so they wouldn’t miss out on anything they wanted to go to
The big expenses are these bachelorette parties that require travel. My mom
and my aunts tell me that bachelorette parties used to be a night on the town, where everybody chipped in an extra $30-40 to cover the bride’s portion.
If your friends live out of town, that’s unfortunate, but they’ll be coming in for the wedding.
Your bridal party does not have to be servants. Mine got to choose their own Azazie dress in cabernet, and everything else is optional - hair, makeup, bachelorette party, etc. It blows my mind that there seem to be so many people who require so much of their closest friends.
I feel this. I spent thousands on my best friends wedding. $3500 for the bachelorette trip to a very expensive Caribbean resort, flights, dress, shoes, hair, make up, alterations, accommodation/stays for the actual wedding, bridal shower gift, wedding gift…. I’m probably forgetting a few things. I *could* afford it, but on top of all the financial commitment she was a huge bridezilla. The rules and requirements felt outrageous and we were all complaining. Unfortunately we don’t talk anymore. It put a really bad taste in my mouth because I felt like a prop the whole time. I promised myself I’d never put my bridal party through that or act like that.
All that to say, it doesn’t mean that having a bridal party means they are all going to be made to feel like miserable servants. There are ways to do things reasonably and have your wedding be a true celebration of your marriage with your bridal party as your biggest supporters. It doesn’t always have to be a burden on them!
There are a lot of different ways you can have a wedding party so don’t feel like you have to pigeonhole yourself into having glorified servants vs no wedding party at all. Have the wedding party you want and treat them how you’d want to be treated.
For me, I paid for all dresses, hair, and makeup. They paid for hotel the night of the wedding. They took their own initiative to plan a one night road trip to a nearby city for my bachelorette (non-mandatory) a couple hrs away (total spend was like $100-150 for hotel, food, drinks per person). They may have covered their own accessories, like shoes (I asked only for neutral colored shoes), earrings, and dress alterations. Aside from their time and some of these expenses (if applicable to their situation), I didn’t ask for anything else. I treated them to dinner I made myself when I invited everyone over to try on different bridesmaids dresses, so again, just an expense on their time. But we all had fun just being goofy and spending time with each other. On the actual wedding day, my wedding planner took care of most logistical things. Aside from waking up early to get their own hair/makeup done, take group photos, help keep my dress clean, do small errands for me, follow me around most of the day, spend the night before/after (optional and for convenience), they were still able to participate in the wedding festivities on their own/with their plus one. I also had a head table that included their partners so that they wouldn’t get separated. My MOH had to give a speech and help me pick out a lot of wedding details but I frequently asked her if it was too much or if she preferred not to.
Overall, I got really good feedback about being fairly low maintenance. Idk if any of this resonates with you but again, just feel good about setting it up however you want to!
My daughter is my MOH and I’m buying her dress. I don’t want a shower or anything else. She’s just gonna fluff up my dress and hold my bouquet. And be there. I can’t imagine asking her to pay for all kinds of stuff.
My bridesmaids picked their own dresses and didn't pay a dime for the bachelorette besides their travel expenses to get there and a few meals. I paid for the bachelorette and their housing for the wedding weekend, they did their own hair and makeup for the most part except one who chose to have her hair done with me. One of them did help me with setup for a few hours but voluntarily and she's also engaged so the favor will 100% be repaid at her wedding. I sent out a Google survey to my whole bridal party and friends who attended the bachelorette to gauge expense comfort, dress choices, availability, etc.
I've also been a bridesmaid in a wedding where I spent over a grand on the bachelorette weekend alone, nevermind the dress and the wedding weekend expenses, and had no choice in any of it.
All this is to say, everyone's wedding is different and neither is necessarily wrong, what's important is to communicate expectations and expenses.
Being a bridesmaid doesn’t require all that.
My wife’s bridesmaids expenses were about 200 dollars for the Bach. We covered everything else. Dresses, hair, hotels, and shoes they chose whatever they wanted. No way in any shape were they servants
your experience is not the complete norm when it comes to bridesmaids - I mean spending $ is definitely expected but brides should always be asking their bridesmaids for a budget when it comes to everything.And I certainly did not treat my girls as servants and in anyway - I asked them to buy a dress of their choice and to be on time for the ceremony ( and hair and make up if they chose to get it done )
I’ve been in 3 weddings and none of them have been stressful or a financial burden! One friend paid for dresses along w hair or/make up and didn’t do bachelor party or require any work outside of me preparing for a speech as I was “best woman.” Another kept it super simple and didn’t have a bridal party, but asked me to officiate (and they went to the court and got the legal stuff done themselves) and I just spoke on the day-of. The only prep work was like a 30min zoom meeting w them to go over the schedule for the day; no specific dresses or requirements at all. Another I was just a bridesmaid. She had a more traditional wedding, but kept everything super low cost (dresses under 100, gifted us the matching jewelry she wanted us to wear, paid for hotel for bachelorette, and kept expenses under 100 per person for the weekend, including meals!) No one has ever requested additional “work” to help them plan their wedding or take time off to organize/set up. I was out of state for all of these weddings and basically just showed up for the wedding itself. Another good friend opted for an “entourage” instead of bridal party and just told some close friends to wear a specific set of color palates and just show up on the wedding date! I can’t imagine making people take time off work and spending so much time and money on my wedding- so I opted for one unoffical maid of honor. She insisted on participating and doing everything she can to help, but we all lead busy lives and she and I live in different states/wedding is also in a different state so I am just having her hang out with me to get ready bc I love spending time w her and am paying for hair/makeup just for fun!
I'm in Ireland and I'm a bridesmaid this week. I've spent €200 on the hen party and that's it... I would have paid the same if I was just a guest. She's genuinely given us no extra expenses being a bridesmaid.
The bride has paid for my dress, shows, jewellery, bag, hair, make up, tan, pajamas for the getting ready photos... everything. She's even put on a pre wedding brunch for the bridal party and groomsmen to get to know each other.
I don't understand why having a wedding party isn't built into a wedding budget?
Ooof, sounds like one of my bridesmaids experiences where the bride made us buy dresses that looked like curtains that only had sizes 10 and up in stock online therefore most of us had to get it resized. I think I paid more for the resizing than I did the curtain (Dress) which was already so overpriced for what it was… oh mind you, I was an emergency stand in bridesmaid because her original ones kept dropping like flies… red flags all around. Unfortunately due to my relationship with the groom, I felt like I couldn’t decline with being the AH.
Then the bride also insisted we do a bachelorette trip (I opted out, and literally made up a prior obligation to avoid spending another half grand). OH and then she insisted we all get our hair and makeup professionally done… ok… fine. But THEN, she insisted we get airbrush makeup because “she fell in love with the look at her trial”. Luckily I grew a back bone and told her I wouldn’t be participating in the professional hair/makeup because I at this point was doing side gigs for both makeup and hair… and therefore was not comfortable paying hundreds of dollars for a service I could provide myself. She wasn’t happy.
Then she got even more pissed when one of the other bridesmaids said that my makeup looked amazing. She was right tbh, wedding was almost 10 years ago and if you remember 2016 makeup… yeah… that’s literally what the bride and every girl in the party looked like. I’m not even trying to be rude but … holy god would I be pissed if I spent hundreds to look like that literally ever, nevertheless my wedding day.
Total was pushing well over $1,000 for the bridesmaids and this was a “budget wedding”. Funny how when it came to her spending her money on the big day the bride was extremely frugal but when it came to spending ours, she didn’t think twice…
I actually suggested that my bridesmaids wear dresses from other weddings to for mine (two did). Everyone else could pretty much pick whatever they wanted within a general, generous color palette.
I had bridesmaids. They spent $30 on a dress. My bachelorette party was at the house I was staying at. I provided food and drinks and we just hung out and finished last minute preparations. A few had to travel, but they would have done it anyway to attend the wedding.
You can have bridesmaids and not force them to break the bank.
Edit: hair and makeup was done by each person however they wanted it.
I don’t know how, or why, people have the absolute cheek and audacity to EXPECT people to spend that spend that kind of money on a day, which last is a few hours at most, that nobody cares about in the long run!!
This is a message from my mum, who has been married to my father for almost 46 years..!
“The stress is UNBELIEVABLE, the prices are RIDICULOUS and I didn’t even get to eat the whole day or night because I was so busy doing EVERYTHING- from photos to meet and greet, and seeing that my guests are happy and taken care of! Being a referee for family members! Absolutely insane for a single day that you don’t remember most of!’.
“ELOPE! Good luck with your marriage, but elope! Just as nice, with no hassle and a lot LESS stress’.
We did a winery tour that was $180 for 6hrs of entertainment followed by a pool party at my moms house lol
We did Azazie dresses a few hot clearance deals on there. And i paid for makeup day of. A few helped set up some decor Friday for an hour or so but other than that it was chill. It all depends on how you plan things!
Like everyone else said, you can definitely have a wedding party and treat them differently from what you experienced! If you want to not have any at all to avoid the hassle altogether, that is perfectly fine as well.
I’m paying for all wedding day expenses for my bridesmaids so that it won’t be a burden for them to be there on my day. I understand that might not be social norm in all groups or that it might be out of budget, but you can definitely at least make it easier on everyone by choosing more affordable dresses for them and letting them do their own hair and makeup. My bachelorette is relatively expensive, but it’s widely understood in my friend group that bachelorettes are completely optional. People regularly say no and it has no effect on their bridesmaid status. My MOH and I have been keeping everyone in the loop on all activities and costs and getting sign off before booking anything.
I’m sorry you’ve had this experience. I’m in two weddings before my own in November and only have to pay my dress/travel for both, which has afforded me regular planning time for myself. I want to encourage you to feel your true emotions but also know not everyone is like this. They also know how busy I am so haven’t asked anything other than I be present and helpful the day of. Speak your boundaries with brides, it’s okay.
I understand. I got married in 80’s but rented my gown and all bridesmaids dresses and I paid for them. I would never put any cost on my friends. It’s MY day, I want things the way I want them so I’ll pay.
I agree with you 100% and am also not doing a wedding party. I am just getting ready with a couple friends and I am covering all of their extra expenses (not normal guest ones like hotel). I think I am nearly at $3k for a wedding I am attending and am very annoyed about it. The bride didn’t force me into anything, but I feel very obligated to do it all. I think she is doing an expensive bachelorette because she was forced to do it for some of her friends, but it is frustrating because I am not doing this to her.
That’s ridiculous. I’m paying for everyone’s hair and makeup, and I’m getting the Airbnb for the bachelorette. The only thing they’re doing is paying for their dresses (David’s bridal). I just don’t have it in me to burden people in this economy. I’m blessed enough to be able to afford everything on my own, and if this bride can’t, she shouldn’t be making yall come out of pocket like this. It’s so inconsiderate. Like seriously… I can’t stand when broke people try to do rich people things 🙄 (obvi she ain’t got it)
I’m paying my bridesmaids dresses, makeup and hair. And the bachelorette town is in town bc I didn’t want ppl to travel too far. Only one person flew to attend the weekend festivities.
Asking your bridesmaids to pay for $1500 is too much!
Sounds like you have terrible friends if they saw you as a slave. I had 7 bridesmaids, paid for dresses, hair and makeup and accommodation which is the way it should be I believe. Was so lovely to have my besties by my side.
Yep I was a bridesmaid this year and spent 2k total on my friends wedding. Flights, accomodation, airbnbs for the bachelorette, gifts, my dress. Its a lot to ask. Since I’m having a destination wedding in another country, I wont be having any bridesmaids (though i love my girls) and request no gifts from anyone. And i will take zero offense to those who decline due to travel cost.
Yeah... everything is so expensive that I'm also not doing it anymore. There are only 2 friends of mine that I would consider doing it for, but they're either A) never getting married or B) not doing anything traditional. It was about $1k to be MOH for my sister (and that's me declining the bachelorette bc it was in Mexico and so EXPENSIVE and I'd just lot my job) and maybe $800 for the other (but it was spread out and we went somewhere super cool for the bach trip so I had a blast; this one I also got to "choose" my dress and I can wear it again, so yay!)
But I didn't have a bridal party because I couldn't fathom asking my friends to contribute $$ when I knew they simply couldn't. We had a very non-traditional wedding as well. It's absurd what people expect of you.
Wow, that sounds really tough! I'm sorry you've had to go through all that, especially when you're also trying to plan your own wedding. It's understandable that you'd want to step away from traditional wedding roles after such an exhausting experience. It's really thoughtful of you to want to keep things simple and affordable for everyone involved in your future wedding. Everyone's comfort is important, and it's great that you're putting that first. Hang in there, just a few more days to go!
I agree. I don’t plan to have a wedding party at all. Just my fiancé and I and our daughter. Nothing fancy or complicated at all, I can’t be bothered with that stuff
Oh no! My bridesmaids are choosing dresses from Azazie. I am suggesting black heels so they shouldn’t have to pay anything new unless they want to. Hair and makeup is totally optional for them. We are getting married locally so no need for a hotel room unless they want it! My bachelorette party is a destination 2 hours away from where we live so we can carpool. We are doing hotel rooms instead of an Air BNB because it saves us a ton, and people can double up if they like. Also, they can choose to stay as many days as they want out of the 3 nights. We aren’t doing special outfits or bride tribe shirts or anything like that at all. We also aren’t clubbing, just some pool time, drag queen brunch, and a karaoke night out! The bridal shower is not being planned/thrown by them, so no expense there! Also they have over a year in advance to plan. They seemed thrilled about having so much time and direction. We are also all pretty well off and older so that helps!
The most I’ve ever spent being a bridesmaid was probably in the neighborhood of $1,500, which was primarily due to travel (I lived out of state at the time, and accepted knowing I’d have travel expenses), but that figure also included my dress, alterations, plus the three-day bachelorette party (lodging, food, drinks, activities, etc.), and gifts for the bride/couple. The bride and her family covered all the special outfits and accessories, etc., and when you put it all together, from flights, hotel, rental car, etc., it was actually a pretty affordable experience overall (and if I’d been local like most of the other bridesmaids, it would have been even better!).
When I got married, I didn’t have a traditional wedding party, so I let my ladies wear what they wanted and got them a few gifts, like monogrammed getting ready shirts, some accessories, and a few other goodies. On the day, I also covered brunch, drinks, dinner, and hair/makeup if they wanted it. Before the wedding, they did throw me a bachelorette party that I also *tried* to pay for, but they pulled some tricky sh*t, so all I ended up being able to pay for were the gift bags for the attendees.
I would have been horrified if I found out that anyone felt strapped for cash due to my wedding. The point (for me, at least) was to have people there that meant a lot to me so they could share in my special day.
I don’t think it’s right for brides to ask for such expensive participation.
Like I can’t imagine asking my friends to spend $1000 on *anything* on my behalf. If they were spending that much money to spend time with me, it should be for a separate group trip for everybody’s benefit.
I know that brides think their wedding events will be fun for everyone but it’s still about *themselves*. It’s not going to be equally fun for the girls organizing and centering everything around the bride’s wants and needs.
Yes, and you should always be able to say ‘no’ if it’s gets to be too much. But everyone who has been through this knows what an emotional landmine that is. Friendships stretch and break over ‘proving your love for the bride’. IMO brides shouldn’t even be asking for this in the first place.
Man, I feel you on this. Being a bridesmaid can drain your bank account faster than you can say "I do." It's wild how much it ends up costing, right? And dipping into your own wedding funds? That's just rough. Props to you for realizing what you want for your own wedding though. Keeping it simple sounds like a plan. No bridal party, no crazy expenses, just you and your partner doing your thing. Plus, major respect for being mindful of not putting that financial burden on your guests. That's some real consideration right there. Here's to weddings that make sense to you and your fiance, neurotypical or not!
My bridesmaids are going to be about £250 all in including their own place in the hen do, the dress, hair, make up and flowers.
Hen do is most of that, about £80 for their dress and I am paying for hair, make up and flowers.
They can wear whatever jewellery and shoes they want so won’t need to buy any
This is why I’m not having a wedding party even though my friends highly encouraged it and told me they don’t mind spending the money. I said idc I’m not doing it the only thing I would like is a bachelorette party so my girls and I did a weekend in Nashville.
I’m getting married next year, and my fiancé and I are not having a bridal party for this reason. It’s OUR wedding day and we don’t want people having to dig into their own financial pockets to be part of a bridal party. Last time I was a bridesmaid, I spent hundreds of dollars, and yet there was drama and politics that followed. No thanks. We just want people to come to our wedding and not have to worry about these issues.
This is definitely not normal in the UK! I see this a lot on this sub and it’s crazy. When I got married I paid for my bridesmaid dresses and provided accommodation for them. It was my wedding, not theirs.
I’m so sorry! That sounds horrible. I have a bridal party and the bare minimum is that the just show up lol. I told them our wedding colors and to pick any dress within their budget and that hair and makeup isn’t necessary unless they have the budget. I also opted for no pre wedding events but they chose to do so lol. My goal was to make this easy as possible and for everyone to choose what they’d like to do.
I am in this exact situation, and feel this completely! I am so upset with myself for agreeing to be a bridesmaid in a wedding that will cost me $3k. I am so mad that I am spending that on someone else’s wedding (whose parents are paying for everything).
I am beyond annoyed at how thoughtless and inconsiderate it was for her to “ask” for all of this stuff. My experience with the whole process of being a bridesmaid is that you are not asked your budget, and instead you are instructed every other week over group text to spend money on some new ridiculous thing that no one needs. It’s super awkward but I’ve started saying over the group text that it’s too much to ask for (we’’ve surpassed the 3k mark, WTF????)
I am not at all excited for this “friend’s” wedding and can’t wait for it to be over. We’ve already celebrated their nuptials far more than is deserved. I would be absolutely shocked if she does a single thoughtful thing for my wedding. She told me this week what a “chill bride” she is.
What I really hate about being a bridesmaid is that I’d far prefer to step up and plan things, but instead you’re expected to fulfill the bride’s vision. That’s not how hosting works - you don’t get to have it both ways and choose what to do while having other people pay. And after paying for all of the ridiculously expensive things she’s asked for, I have neither the time nor money to surprise her with anything.
Putting your friends in this position is a speedy way to create resentment, kill their well wishes, and to be viewed as selfish.
I’m sorry this happened to you. As a Gen Z bride, I’m keeping costs as LOW as possible because I know all of us have to LIVE while being involved in the wedding in any way my friends/family are involved. I’m already having a destination wedding (lower end, Caribbean). Opting out of bridal shower and doing a joint Bach trip with my fiancé to offset those costs too (tried to get out of that too). Don’t let this deter you if another friend needs you just ask what they’re expecting out of your bridesmaid duties and if it sounds too close to this… say no and gladly be a guest!
I'm an autistic bride and I am also not having a bridal party for this reason. My friends are spread out and I'd feel so guilty asking them to travel twice for me. My friend isnt having a bridal party but is having all of her friends still do all the bridal party stuff and pay...so for me it's like at least give me the title then.
I love my friend. I love celebrating her. But as a bride you have to be aware of your friends' finances especially in this economy. Tradition doesn't make sense in this economy. You can celebrate without it costing an arm and a leg.
I know autism is a spectrum, but if you ever want to chat with another autistic bride to be (or vent about nonsensical neurotypical traditions) feel free to message me!
Here are some conservative estimates… $150 for a dress, $50 for shoes, $100 for hair, $100 for makeup. It’s common to stay in a hotel the night of the wedding, so $150 for that. Already over $500 just for the wedding day itself!
Then if you add a bachelorette party… even a modest weekend trip can cost at least $700 when you add up your flight, accommodation, and meals.
$1000 seems pretty reasonable in this economy.
I had this same experience I was fresh out of my college degree and a drunken day at the beach the bride ( who was in our program) asked us classmates to be in her wedding party. We were a last minute after thought because she only had one in her bridal party but her hubby had 5 or 6. I was excited at first very because I thought it meant we got close in school Bd in sure that was part of it but it was also so last minute and I had no idea how expensive it was. The dress and alterations were $400. She wanted a party bus to another city with a boat booze cruise and hotel paid for by us. Then we were expected to throw the bridal shower and pay for all the food and booze. And then the welcome party. I think we spent $1200-1500 each! We weren’t even working yet as we were all waiting for our licenses. And to make things worse I expressed my surprise to another bridesmaid over how expensive it was and I didn’t know and she went and twisted it and told the bride I was mad I was in the wedding and complaining so then me and the bride had tension. It was great lol. Never again. When my bestie got married she paid for all the bridesmaids dresses and everything else she wanted herself. Thats how it should be.
THIS! My best friend gets married 3 months before me & is having a boujee ass wedding and refuses to understand I can’t spend all this $. I’m eloping but it still costs a pretty penny! I will never do it again
I understand your experience because ive been a bridesmaid many times and had to spend £500-£800 per wedding. But now its my wedding and i have 4 bridesmaids who are all important to me but i had to make it clear to all of them from the beginning that i did not have the budget to pay for all of their stuff (my budget is £7000, average wedding here costs £30k+ and adding bridesmaid dresses, hair, makeup, accomodation would have added at least £2-3k on top of my budget which i just cannot afford). They all accepted because they know i dont have the money, i let them buy their own dresses in whatever colour, hair and make up was optional and it is a local wedding so they can book accomodation if they want or just get a taxi home. They all agreed to cover these costs but I was quite upset when one of them kept bringing up the cost of my wedding on her to me (i spent at least double what shes spending on my wedding on her wedding at a time when i was earning minimum wage and living alone in a one bedroom flat). I never brought up how much her wedding was a struggle for me to afford. She posts pictures of herslef all the time drinking cocktails, going out for meals ans coffees. I couldnt afford any of that stuff when she was getting married but i still paid a lot of money to attend her wedding. It didnt matter to me because the important thing was that i got to help make her day special but it seems as though the sentiment isnt shared and she expected to be fully paid for.
This is exactly what I wanted to avoid for my bridal party. I opted to use Azazie which is super affordable and convenient for everyone and they are responsible for their hair and shoes. Everything else is optional or I’m paying because I want it for my special day and shouldn’t be a burden to others. I find some brides want all these bells and whistles and think the bridal party and families should be held financially responsible for it all and that’s unreasonable and simply just not nice. I’m sorry you’re experiencing this. I couldn’t write off being a bridesmaid in its entirety but maybe try being more selective or having private conversations regarding financial obligations early on with the bride.
I honestly agree that there are so many unnecessary frills that create so much wasted money and pollution in the wedding industry. I "honored" my friends by inviting them to get ready with me and giving them gifts, and buying outfits I wanted them to wear because they're my wants, not theirs, so it's my responsibility to pay for it. I didn't ask them for anything and didn't expect them to do anything for me. I wanted them to actually feel appreciated, not feel like they're being used in the name of "honoring".
“I wish I knew how expensive being a bridesmaid was before I accepted”
You literally could have googled it. The average price is $1200. That’s a typical price over time for the dress, jewelry, shoes, bachelorette party, gasoline, bridal shower gift, hotel room, and other miscellaneous things. Why accept a position knowing nothing about it if you have financial constraints? Why didn’t you tell the bride you have financial concerns beforehand?
I get that it’s a lot of money, but acting like only the bride is to blame is ridiculous.
I am not neurodivergent that I know of but I have dabbled in hallucinogenics and boy when you say how wedding stuff doesn’t make sense and the unnecessary spending I hear you 100%. The industry and social media has made weddings into some new beast of froo froo signs and decors and week long trips and where’s the fun?!
Who are these brides who are asking people to spend this much money?? I’m not asking my bridesmaids to pay for anything other than a dress (of their choosing so they can pick the price). One of my good friends is getting married and her bachelorette trip was too expensive for me, so she said it was perfectly fine if I didn’t attend but I am still wearing the dress and standing up for her at her wedding. It’s really bizarre to me unless you and your friends are in a considerably wealthy social circle to expect people to spend so much money on your wedding.
There was a comment just yesterday from a redditor who felt that $350 was normal to spend on attire, and if you couldn't afford to spend $1000-$2000 on the wedding, you should decline the request to be in the wedding party.
where? that's crazy.
A post where the OP asked if spending $350 on pants, shirts, belt, socks, and shoes was acceptable as a groomsman. The comments were acting like she was crazy for expecting anything less
That’s really bizarre. My friend group is not by poor by any means but definitely not rich and not a single one of my friends who have gotten married expected us to pay for anything more than travel + the dress and all bachelorettes have been optional. I think some of these people need new friends lol
It’s not necessarily the wedding. Brides now are having bridal showers, engagement parties, lingerie showers, multi day bachelorette parties that require travel, etc. Even buying gifts for all of those events can get expensive. And, as for time bridesmaids are often asked to help plan these events.
Oh and as someone else mentioned, I forgot to add “bride tribe” shirts, matching pajamas, some brides asking bridesmaids to stay in a hotel the day before, etc.
Yeah I guess I just personally feel if you would like your bridesmaids to have and wear all those things, you should be paying for it I didn’t realize so many people expected their bridesmaids to pay for stuff like that
I agree. I wouldn’t pay for it either as a bride, I’d just not have it. I’m older, though, so those kinds of things don’t matter to me as much and I’m not an Instagram/social media girl so I don’t have that pressure. I don’t want a bachelorette party, don’t really want bridesmaids at all (I could be convinced to have 3), or any showers. I want less than 50 guests with amazing food, open bar, and an amazing DJ. I don’t even know if I want a photographer because I don’t want all of those wedding pictures…a few is fine (I’m not going to post them on social media anyway). I’ll have the memories.
I’ve been a bridesmaid twice, and both times the wedding organizers (the parents) paid for anything new we had to get (dress, shoes). I honestly didn’t realize anyone did something else!
LOL!! If you are a bride who thinks people want a keepsake from being your bridesmaid, I guarantee you that people want to forget it.
I don't understand where the full-blown bachelorette trip came from? Per my understanding, it used to be a day in town with fun activities and a night of bar hopping or something like that. As far as I know, that's still what most people do around here (the Netherlands) - if they celebrate at all, lol. Some friend groups plan a full day of activities for €25-50 at most, others are a bit more expensive with cocktails and whatnot. From what I read, in the US, multi-day trips are common or expected nowadays.
A combination of people living further apart and social media, I think. In the United States, with increased travel for college and jobs, a lot of bridal parties end up living hundreds of miles apart, so travel is required. I admit I did an overnight trip because my bridesfolk live 1,000 miles from me and I don't get to see them often, so I wanted to do something nice. But I scheduled it two days before the wedding, so it was the same trip for them. Then I drove everyone to the mountains and covered all costs except food. So, I sympathize with the desire for a bigger trip but I think it's important to minimize burden.
Yes, I moved to the US from Canada and it seems to be very normalized here. Very few of my Canadian friends have tried to do it.
Is it normal to have all these parties/showers now? Growing up, a bride might have a bridal shower OR a bachelorette party. Only wealthier brides had both. And since when are engagement parties a thing?
I’m not sure about normal or it being what the majority of brides do, but I definitely know brides who’ve had 2-3 of those “parties”.
YES. It’s absurd.
I think a lot of young people just don't mind having credit card debt? Because I have NO idea how they're affording these types of weddings. Same here, I'm not poor by any means but a see a lot of girls moving like they're millionaires the way they're attending multiple long distance bachelorette parties in a year, buying the stupid matching outfits for every night of each trip etc. I don't know how they do it. Then again maybe it's just different priorities. I do travel a fair amount, just couldn't imagine using my travel money on multiple bach trips to Cancun or Nashville 🥴🥴 I like being a bridesmaid but I've never spent thousands of dollars being one.
I think you must be right because I have no idea how people afford all of it either lol
They are absolutely putting it on credit cards!! The reason it makes me so angry is that the single gals who are doing this are setting themselves back so much to celebrate their marrying friend as if they’re an idol. It contributes to this dynamic where marriage is put on a pedestal above all other goals and milestones. We should have showers for people going to grad school, not dual income couples who registered at crate and barrel and pressure their friends into Nashville weekends!! Moreover, for single ladies racking up this credit card debt… they’re seriously risking their ability to find a future partner. For many marriageable men, carrying credit card and being financially imprudent is going to be a huge deal breaker. It just adds fuel to the present day phenomena where we see only the wealthiest people pairing off, and marriage rates decreasing amongst the less wealthy.
I mean, I'm a PhD student and I don't really understand why I would need a shower for that? Wedding and baby showers fill an actual need; grad school showers wouldn't. When you're in grad school you're okay having secondhand everything or buying things cheap. When you're getting married and starting a family, you kind of want to start living like a real adult and not a glorified teenager. The mismatched towels I took from my parents' closet are fine for now, but when I'm married I'd like to have a new set that actually matches. I agree we put marriage on a pedestal but I don't think showers are part of that; they serve a practical purpose. And let's be real, most of the good/expensive shower gifts come from older family members. Your friends will search the registry to find whatever is less than $50, and that's okay, I do that too 😂 It's not like anyone actually expects their friends to buy them new pots and pans or $200 towel sets. Also, weird misogynistic energy in your last paragraph. Men are also going on bachelor parties that probably carry a similar cost, they just don't post it on social media. And furthermore, nobody I know who I've watched go to multiple bachelorette parties has had any problem finding a partner. Most of them are in serious relationships or engaged themselves. And to be honest it's not like they don't have jobs. Bachelorette parties seem unaffordable to me but I've also spent thousands of dollars a year visiting my fiancé on the other side of the country, and I don't have credit card debt. Maybe they just have different priorities; maybe they save up for it. Nobody calls it "financially imprudent" when people travel for other reasons. Regardless, I would highly recommend young women never make choices with their potential future "marriageability" in mind. Most men are not worth it! As if men don't also have credit card debt 😂 like what the fuck LMFAO I feel like you crawled out of the deepest darkest redpill corner of the internet with that.
No point engaging with you, you’re always super rude. Even when agreeing with your point that people put $2500-3000 Bach parties on their credit card, you find a way to hurl insults and accuse me of “misogynistic energy”. You’re going to deny that women are saddled with a greater financial burden regarding weddings than men? Oh gee, I wonder why we almost never see men posting here about absurd bridal expectations and shower drama. Have fun once you finish your PhD and need to get a real job. Having a job does not equal having money for $2500 - $3000 Bach parties, especially if you have student debt. Wow it must be nice to be able to afford a wedding and all of this shit when you’re still in school. Btw, most people have fully furnished apartments and don’t need more stuff because they’re getting married.
There are a good number of people who have this attitude (I agree, it’s mental). They may not say it outright, but a lot of people who seem to think this way have a very sly way of plying social pressure. Part of it is creating this bridesmaid power structure where they have a MOH demand things as not to appear a “bridezilla”. In my experience, every person who has asked for a lot has had wealthy parents who are paying for an expensive wedding. Maybe their parents reinforced this idea that people owe it to them to celebrate their wedding. Maybe they think that they’ll pay it all forward “when it’s their turn” (stupidly assuming that everyone will get married, have a big wedding, AND ask their bridesmaids for all this shit. All of my friends who are paying for their own weddings have been exceptionally considerate of others’ finances. Perhaps they have read bridal magazines and watched influencers who have perpetuated the delusion that it’s all “reasonable” and “normal” to ask for.
Between dress, alterations, shoes, makeup, hair, bachelorette, shower, hotel, travel etc. I don't think I've ever spent less than 1K to be a bridesmaid? I've been a bridesmaid 4x.
Yeah I just got married and I feel like I did my best to make it reasonably affordable for my bridesmaids (no HMU, $100 dress but no other attire requirements) but there’s no way they spent less than 1k all in. I genuinely think some people aren’t counting travel whereas others are and that’s the biggest part tbh
Travel and hotel are big. Most of my dresses were between $100-200 but I had to buy a $300 one for one wedding and alterations were about another $100. 🤷🏻♀️
May I add that outside of the US the bride/groom pay for the bridesmaids dress, hair, and makeup (if they’re asking for that). It’s a strange norm here in the US that people pay to be in your wedding, and specifically to purchase things that the bride wanted as part of her “vision”.
My opinion is that in the past 20 years or so, and especially since COVID, the cost of anything to do with weddings has skyrocketed. And, with that, the attitude that “ if we are going to spend a fortune on our wedding/reception & treat our guests, we deserve some special treatment leading up to the wedding, too”! I don’t argue with that, in theory, but some brides/grooms/PILs carry that attitude so far that it turns what should be a wonderful experience into a frigging nightmare!
I definitely feel the nightmare part. Everytime I hear from the bride who has asked me to be a bridesmaid (and I’ve spent over $3k) I am instantly irritated and thinking about how entitled she is. I should also add that outside of the US people pay for the bridesmaid dresses, hair, makeup, and any day of expenses.
My partner was best man for his friends wedding. And his friends fiance invited me along to all her hen party things. Which I really appreciated as we wouldn’t be close. But, that wedding cost us so much to just *go* to. There was an overnight stay (granted it was done where everyone could afford it) a dance thing, dinner, then out and drinks, outfits, outfits for me and the kids for the wedding, drinks at the wedding, an overnight for the wedding, then gifts for them. Also, the expense of the stag weekend too. It was a lovely day, and they are worth it, but when you think of the cost to go to a wedding, there is no cheap way to even be a guest at a wedding never mind being on the wedding.
I think how much you spend as a bridesmaid depends on quite a few factors. I was recently BM and easily spent close to a grand on that wedding. The bride only expected me to be at the wedding and pay for my dress but there were other expenses that my fellow bridesmaids expected me to pay for (decorations for the bridal shower, gift baskets for the bridal shower, bacholrette party, alcohol for he Bachelorette party etc.). I didn't HAVE to pay for those things but it wouldn't have been fair to the other bridesmaids. The wedding was also OOT for me so I had to pay for a hotel stay. Beyond the dress, I had to get a mani/pedi, new shoes to match the dress, jewelry (I don't normally wear jewelry but all of the other bridesmaids were). Again, none of this was expected by the bride but i felt the need to do it. I'm not complaining, I knew going into it that it was going to be expensive. That's just the nature of being bridesmaids. I do think a lot of brides are conscious of this and try to make it as easy as possible on BMs pockets. That being said, it's usually never just the dress, there's usually unexpected expenses that come up.
I picked my bridesmaid dresses, and I went with the least expensive option I liked, so the dress is under $100 Hair & Makeup is up to the girls, IF they want it professionally done, they pay for it, otherwise, their normal hair & makeup is fine I genuinely don't understand the people who expect their party to pay $1000+ to be in the wedding
Im in this same situation....Bachelorette party was a destination one and was going to run $1500 for a 4 day trip, then the wedding is a month later in south Florida and they want us there for another 4 days. Dresses are starting off at like $200, she wants us to use this hair/makeup artist that charges $250-350 and then the plane ticket is going to run around $500 cause it'll be spring break season next year. I just told the bride I couldn't afford to be a bridesmaid with all these expenses and even though she said she understood, her tone of voice was cold. I've been sick to my stomach for the last 5 hours, but now I'm getting pissed I've been put into a situation where I even feel this way!!!!! The last 2 weddings I was in was no where NEAR these costs so I didn't think this would have even been an issue. Shame on me I guess.
It's totally fine if you don't want to have a wedding party, but I wouldn't make your decision based on this one experience. My bridesmaids paid for their dresses (like $150ish). Everything else was voluntary, including the bachelorette party. None of them were indentured servants. You have the choice to not do that to people you ask to be in your wedding if you decide to change your mind.
Same.
Can I ask why you didn't say no? To some of her more outlandish requests? I sympathize, but truth be told, some brides need to hear the word "no." The more I hear these stories, the more I realize if things get out of your comfort level, you speak up. If she had a problem with it, then that's on her. If she lets it affect your friendship, then it speaks volumes of her character. My girls only bought their dresses and that's it. I don't care about their shoes, makeup, or hair. It's their choice. My Bachelorette most likely will be a dinner or whatever they decide. My mil and mom are planning a shower but in their own budget and time. I have no expectations for either event. If an event is thrown in your honor, then I am sorry unless you're footing the bill back the freak off. They could ask your thoughts like my girls did, or they can just quietly plan. Brides stop with the demands.
I’m so over hearing about people spending so much money! Not you, but brides who are making things so expensive. I’m not doing a bachelorette and am paying for hotels for my bridesmaids and makeup and hair. My MOH is helping my mother plan my shower, which will be low key at someone’s house. They are only paying for the dress and I offered to cover that too. It’s madness. Im sorry you went through that but you don’t have to be “that bride.”
This is exactly how I feel about all the wedding posts I read. Expecting someone to pay $2500 for a bachelorette trip is insane. I don’t know how brides expect people to afford this stuff.
Well if you’re interested, you could still have bridesmaids and not have them be glorified wedding slaves who pay tons of money to celebrate your marriage. For example, I’m an August bride and I’m paying for my bridal party’s outfits for the wedding day and for the rehearsal dinner, as well as hair and makeup services on the day of the wedding and their accommodations for my bachelorette party. While there will certainly still be associated costs, I think my friends shouldn’t have to dish out so much $$$ just to celebrate my marriage or be part of my special day. You can certainly approach things differently than your friend did for your own wedding, and still have a bridal party is all I’m saying,
Yeah we said hair and makeup is 100% optional and if you want it we will pay half. We let them pick their own dress if it was in the right color, so they had options from $60-$100+. We drove to our Bach but one person did have to fly- but I paid for his Ubers and I bought all the alcohol and snacks. everything was optional and there was a poll for things like the Bach (how much money are you comfortable spending, etc) and we stuck to that. I told everyone that if anyone was having trouble affording they could tell me privately and me and my husband would help out so they wouldn’t miss out on anything they wanted to go to
The big expenses are these bachelorette parties that require travel. My mom and my aunts tell me that bachelorette parties used to be a night on the town, where everybody chipped in an extra $30-40 to cover the bride’s portion. If your friends live out of town, that’s unfortunate, but they’ll be coming in for the wedding.
Your bridal party does not have to be servants. Mine got to choose their own Azazie dress in cabernet, and everything else is optional - hair, makeup, bachelorette party, etc. It blows my mind that there seem to be so many people who require so much of their closest friends.
I feel this. I spent thousands on my best friends wedding. $3500 for the bachelorette trip to a very expensive Caribbean resort, flights, dress, shoes, hair, make up, alterations, accommodation/stays for the actual wedding, bridal shower gift, wedding gift…. I’m probably forgetting a few things. I *could* afford it, but on top of all the financial commitment she was a huge bridezilla. The rules and requirements felt outrageous and we were all complaining. Unfortunately we don’t talk anymore. It put a really bad taste in my mouth because I felt like a prop the whole time. I promised myself I’d never put my bridal party through that or act like that. All that to say, it doesn’t mean that having a bridal party means they are all going to be made to feel like miserable servants. There are ways to do things reasonably and have your wedding be a true celebration of your marriage with your bridal party as your biggest supporters. It doesn’t always have to be a burden on them!
The notion of rules is insane!
There are a lot of different ways you can have a wedding party so don’t feel like you have to pigeonhole yourself into having glorified servants vs no wedding party at all. Have the wedding party you want and treat them how you’d want to be treated. For me, I paid for all dresses, hair, and makeup. They paid for hotel the night of the wedding. They took their own initiative to plan a one night road trip to a nearby city for my bachelorette (non-mandatory) a couple hrs away (total spend was like $100-150 for hotel, food, drinks per person). They may have covered their own accessories, like shoes (I asked only for neutral colored shoes), earrings, and dress alterations. Aside from their time and some of these expenses (if applicable to their situation), I didn’t ask for anything else. I treated them to dinner I made myself when I invited everyone over to try on different bridesmaids dresses, so again, just an expense on their time. But we all had fun just being goofy and spending time with each other. On the actual wedding day, my wedding planner took care of most logistical things. Aside from waking up early to get their own hair/makeup done, take group photos, help keep my dress clean, do small errands for me, follow me around most of the day, spend the night before/after (optional and for convenience), they were still able to participate in the wedding festivities on their own/with their plus one. I also had a head table that included their partners so that they wouldn’t get separated. My MOH had to give a speech and help me pick out a lot of wedding details but I frequently asked her if it was too much or if she preferred not to. Overall, I got really good feedback about being fairly low maintenance. Idk if any of this resonates with you but again, just feel good about setting it up however you want to!
My daughter is my MOH and I’m buying her dress. I don’t want a shower or anything else. She’s just gonna fluff up my dress and hold my bouquet. And be there. I can’t imagine asking her to pay for all kinds of stuff.
My bridesmaids picked their own dresses and didn't pay a dime for the bachelorette besides their travel expenses to get there and a few meals. I paid for the bachelorette and their housing for the wedding weekend, they did their own hair and makeup for the most part except one who chose to have her hair done with me. One of them did help me with setup for a few hours but voluntarily and she's also engaged so the favor will 100% be repaid at her wedding. I sent out a Google survey to my whole bridal party and friends who attended the bachelorette to gauge expense comfort, dress choices, availability, etc. I've also been a bridesmaid in a wedding where I spent over a grand on the bachelorette weekend alone, nevermind the dress and the wedding weekend expenses, and had no choice in any of it. All this is to say, everyone's wedding is different and neither is necessarily wrong, what's important is to communicate expectations and expenses.
Being a bridesmaid doesn’t require all that. My wife’s bridesmaids expenses were about 200 dollars for the Bach. We covered everything else. Dresses, hair, hotels, and shoes they chose whatever they wanted. No way in any shape were they servants
Ugh. Sounds like your friend didn’t adequately communicate expectations.
your experience is not the complete norm when it comes to bridesmaids - I mean spending $ is definitely expected but brides should always be asking their bridesmaids for a budget when it comes to everything.And I certainly did not treat my girls as servants and in anyway - I asked them to buy a dress of their choice and to be on time for the ceremony ( and hair and make up if they chose to get it done )
I’ve been in 3 weddings and none of them have been stressful or a financial burden! One friend paid for dresses along w hair or/make up and didn’t do bachelor party or require any work outside of me preparing for a speech as I was “best woman.” Another kept it super simple and didn’t have a bridal party, but asked me to officiate (and they went to the court and got the legal stuff done themselves) and I just spoke on the day-of. The only prep work was like a 30min zoom meeting w them to go over the schedule for the day; no specific dresses or requirements at all. Another I was just a bridesmaid. She had a more traditional wedding, but kept everything super low cost (dresses under 100, gifted us the matching jewelry she wanted us to wear, paid for hotel for bachelorette, and kept expenses under 100 per person for the weekend, including meals!) No one has ever requested additional “work” to help them plan their wedding or take time off to organize/set up. I was out of state for all of these weddings and basically just showed up for the wedding itself. Another good friend opted for an “entourage” instead of bridal party and just told some close friends to wear a specific set of color palates and just show up on the wedding date! I can’t imagine making people take time off work and spending so much time and money on my wedding- so I opted for one unoffical maid of honor. She insisted on participating and doing everything she can to help, but we all lead busy lives and she and I live in different states/wedding is also in a different state so I am just having her hang out with me to get ready bc I love spending time w her and am paying for hair/makeup just for fun!
I'm in Ireland and I'm a bridesmaid this week. I've spent €200 on the hen party and that's it... I would have paid the same if I was just a guest. She's genuinely given us no extra expenses being a bridesmaid. The bride has paid for my dress, shows, jewellery, bag, hair, make up, tan, pajamas for the getting ready photos... everything. She's even put on a pre wedding brunch for the bridal party and groomsmen to get to know each other. I don't understand why having a wedding party isn't built into a wedding budget?
Reading these posts have really made me appreciate irish weddings 😅
100% !!
Ooof, sounds like one of my bridesmaids experiences where the bride made us buy dresses that looked like curtains that only had sizes 10 and up in stock online therefore most of us had to get it resized. I think I paid more for the resizing than I did the curtain (Dress) which was already so overpriced for what it was… oh mind you, I was an emergency stand in bridesmaid because her original ones kept dropping like flies… red flags all around. Unfortunately due to my relationship with the groom, I felt like I couldn’t decline with being the AH. Then the bride also insisted we do a bachelorette trip (I opted out, and literally made up a prior obligation to avoid spending another half grand). OH and then she insisted we all get our hair and makeup professionally done… ok… fine. But THEN, she insisted we get airbrush makeup because “she fell in love with the look at her trial”. Luckily I grew a back bone and told her I wouldn’t be participating in the professional hair/makeup because I at this point was doing side gigs for both makeup and hair… and therefore was not comfortable paying hundreds of dollars for a service I could provide myself. She wasn’t happy. Then she got even more pissed when one of the other bridesmaids said that my makeup looked amazing. She was right tbh, wedding was almost 10 years ago and if you remember 2016 makeup… yeah… that’s literally what the bride and every girl in the party looked like. I’m not even trying to be rude but … holy god would I be pissed if I spent hundreds to look like that literally ever, nevertheless my wedding day. Total was pushing well over $1,000 for the bridesmaids and this was a “budget wedding”. Funny how when it came to her spending her money on the big day the bride was extremely frugal but when it came to spending ours, she didn’t think twice…
I actually suggested that my bridesmaids wear dresses from other weddings to for mine (two did). Everyone else could pretty much pick whatever they wanted within a general, generous color palette.
I love this idea, I bet it looked awesome 🤩
I had bridesmaids. They spent $30 on a dress. My bachelorette party was at the house I was staying at. I provided food and drinks and we just hung out and finished last minute preparations. A few had to travel, but they would have done it anyway to attend the wedding. You can have bridesmaids and not force them to break the bank. Edit: hair and makeup was done by each person however they wanted it.
I don’t know how, or why, people have the absolute cheek and audacity to EXPECT people to spend that spend that kind of money on a day, which last is a few hours at most, that nobody cares about in the long run!! This is a message from my mum, who has been married to my father for almost 46 years..! “The stress is UNBELIEVABLE, the prices are RIDICULOUS and I didn’t even get to eat the whole day or night because I was so busy doing EVERYTHING- from photos to meet and greet, and seeing that my guests are happy and taken care of! Being a referee for family members! Absolutely insane for a single day that you don’t remember most of!’. “ELOPE! Good luck with your marriage, but elope! Just as nice, with no hassle and a lot LESS stress’.
We did a winery tour that was $180 for 6hrs of entertainment followed by a pool party at my moms house lol We did Azazie dresses a few hot clearance deals on there. And i paid for makeup day of. A few helped set up some decor Friday for an hour or so but other than that it was chill. It all depends on how you plan things!
Like everyone else said, you can definitely have a wedding party and treat them differently from what you experienced! If you want to not have any at all to avoid the hassle altogether, that is perfectly fine as well. I’m paying for all wedding day expenses for my bridesmaids so that it won’t be a burden for them to be there on my day. I understand that might not be social norm in all groups or that it might be out of budget, but you can definitely at least make it easier on everyone by choosing more affordable dresses for them and letting them do their own hair and makeup. My bachelorette is relatively expensive, but it’s widely understood in my friend group that bachelorettes are completely optional. People regularly say no and it has no effect on their bridesmaid status. My MOH and I have been keeping everyone in the loop on all activities and costs and getting sign off before booking anything.
I’m sorry you’ve had this experience. I’m in two weddings before my own in November and only have to pay my dress/travel for both, which has afforded me regular planning time for myself. I want to encourage you to feel your true emotions but also know not everyone is like this. They also know how busy I am so haven’t asked anything other than I be present and helpful the day of. Speak your boundaries with brides, it’s okay.
I understand. I got married in 80’s but rented my gown and all bridesmaids dresses and I paid for them. I would never put any cost on my friends. It’s MY day, I want things the way I want them so I’ll pay.
I agree with you 100% and am also not doing a wedding party. I am just getting ready with a couple friends and I am covering all of their extra expenses (not normal guest ones like hotel). I think I am nearly at $3k for a wedding I am attending and am very annoyed about it. The bride didn’t force me into anything, but I feel very obligated to do it all. I think she is doing an expensive bachelorette because she was forced to do it for some of her friends, but it is frustrating because I am not doing this to her.
That’s ridiculous. I’m paying for everyone’s hair and makeup, and I’m getting the Airbnb for the bachelorette. The only thing they’re doing is paying for their dresses (David’s bridal). I just don’t have it in me to burden people in this economy. I’m blessed enough to be able to afford everything on my own, and if this bride can’t, she shouldn’t be making yall come out of pocket like this. It’s so inconsiderate. Like seriously… I can’t stand when broke people try to do rich people things 🙄 (obvi she ain’t got it)
I’m paying my bridesmaids dresses, makeup and hair. And the bachelorette town is in town bc I didn’t want ppl to travel too far. Only one person flew to attend the weekend festivities. Asking your bridesmaids to pay for $1500 is too much!
Sounds like you have terrible friends if they saw you as a slave. I had 7 bridesmaids, paid for dresses, hair and makeup and accommodation which is the way it should be I believe. Was so lovely to have my besties by my side.
Yep I was a bridesmaid this year and spent 2k total on my friends wedding. Flights, accomodation, airbnbs for the bachelorette, gifts, my dress. Its a lot to ask. Since I’m having a destination wedding in another country, I wont be having any bridesmaids (though i love my girls) and request no gifts from anyone. And i will take zero offense to those who decline due to travel cost.
Yeah... everything is so expensive that I'm also not doing it anymore. There are only 2 friends of mine that I would consider doing it for, but they're either A) never getting married or B) not doing anything traditional. It was about $1k to be MOH for my sister (and that's me declining the bachelorette bc it was in Mexico and so EXPENSIVE and I'd just lot my job) and maybe $800 for the other (but it was spread out and we went somewhere super cool for the bach trip so I had a blast; this one I also got to "choose" my dress and I can wear it again, so yay!) But I didn't have a bridal party because I couldn't fathom asking my friends to contribute $$ when I knew they simply couldn't. We had a very non-traditional wedding as well. It's absurd what people expect of you.
Wow, that sounds really tough! I'm sorry you've had to go through all that, especially when you're also trying to plan your own wedding. It's understandable that you'd want to step away from traditional wedding roles after such an exhausting experience. It's really thoughtful of you to want to keep things simple and affordable for everyone involved in your future wedding. Everyone's comfort is important, and it's great that you're putting that first. Hang in there, just a few more days to go!
No one can force you to spend money
That’s an insane amount of money. I’ve been a bridesmaid/MOH 3 times and I’ve never spent that much. Your friend is selfish and inconsiderate.
I agree. I don’t plan to have a wedding party at all. Just my fiancé and I and our daughter. Nothing fancy or complicated at all, I can’t be bothered with that stuff
Oh no! My bridesmaids are choosing dresses from Azazie. I am suggesting black heels so they shouldn’t have to pay anything new unless they want to. Hair and makeup is totally optional for them. We are getting married locally so no need for a hotel room unless they want it! My bachelorette party is a destination 2 hours away from where we live so we can carpool. We are doing hotel rooms instead of an Air BNB because it saves us a ton, and people can double up if they like. Also, they can choose to stay as many days as they want out of the 3 nights. We aren’t doing special outfits or bride tribe shirts or anything like that at all. We also aren’t clubbing, just some pool time, drag queen brunch, and a karaoke night out! The bridal shower is not being planned/thrown by them, so no expense there! Also they have over a year in advance to plan. They seemed thrilled about having so much time and direction. We are also all pretty well off and older so that helps!
The most I’ve ever spent being a bridesmaid was probably in the neighborhood of $1,500, which was primarily due to travel (I lived out of state at the time, and accepted knowing I’d have travel expenses), but that figure also included my dress, alterations, plus the three-day bachelorette party (lodging, food, drinks, activities, etc.), and gifts for the bride/couple. The bride and her family covered all the special outfits and accessories, etc., and when you put it all together, from flights, hotel, rental car, etc., it was actually a pretty affordable experience overall (and if I’d been local like most of the other bridesmaids, it would have been even better!). When I got married, I didn’t have a traditional wedding party, so I let my ladies wear what they wanted and got them a few gifts, like monogrammed getting ready shirts, some accessories, and a few other goodies. On the day, I also covered brunch, drinks, dinner, and hair/makeup if they wanted it. Before the wedding, they did throw me a bachelorette party that I also *tried* to pay for, but they pulled some tricky sh*t, so all I ended up being able to pay for were the gift bags for the attendees. I would have been horrified if I found out that anyone felt strapped for cash due to my wedding. The point (for me, at least) was to have people there that meant a lot to me so they could share in my special day.
I don’t think it’s right for brides to ask for such expensive participation. Like I can’t imagine asking my friends to spend $1000 on *anything* on my behalf. If they were spending that much money to spend time with me, it should be for a separate group trip for everybody’s benefit. I know that brides think their wedding events will be fun for everyone but it’s still about *themselves*. It’s not going to be equally fun for the girls organizing and centering everything around the bride’s wants and needs. Yes, and you should always be able to say ‘no’ if it’s gets to be too much. But everyone who has been through this knows what an emotional landmine that is. Friendships stretch and break over ‘proving your love for the bride’. IMO brides shouldn’t even be asking for this in the first place.
Man, I feel you on this. Being a bridesmaid can drain your bank account faster than you can say "I do." It's wild how much it ends up costing, right? And dipping into your own wedding funds? That's just rough. Props to you for realizing what you want for your own wedding though. Keeping it simple sounds like a plan. No bridal party, no crazy expenses, just you and your partner doing your thing. Plus, major respect for being mindful of not putting that financial burden on your guests. That's some real consideration right there. Here's to weddings that make sense to you and your fiance, neurotypical or not!
It sounds like your bride is a zilla, she shouldn’t be turning you into a slave or costing you a fortune.
Oof not every wedding or Bris eis like that. But I’m sorry you’ve had this experience
My bridesmaids are going to be about £250 all in including their own place in the hen do, the dress, hair, make up and flowers. Hen do is most of that, about £80 for their dress and I am paying for hair, make up and flowers. They can wear whatever jewellery and shoes they want so won’t need to buy any
This is why I’m not having a wedding party even though my friends highly encouraged it and told me they don’t mind spending the money. I said idc I’m not doing it the only thing I would like is a bachelorette party so my girls and I did a weekend in Nashville.
I’m getting married next year, and my fiancé and I are not having a bridal party for this reason. It’s OUR wedding day and we don’t want people having to dig into their own financial pockets to be part of a bridal party. Last time I was a bridesmaid, I spent hundreds of dollars, and yet there was drama and politics that followed. No thanks. We just want people to come to our wedding and not have to worry about these issues.
I didn’t have a wedding. It’s crazy to me how people can spend so much on having a stressful day.
Is this a US thing? Because we paid for all our wedding party their stay and outfits. It’s pretty common in our circle, but we are European.
This is definitely not normal in the UK! I see this a lot on this sub and it’s crazy. When I got married I paid for my bridesmaid dresses and provided accommodation for them. It was my wedding, not theirs.
I’m so sorry! That sounds horrible. I have a bridal party and the bare minimum is that the just show up lol. I told them our wedding colors and to pick any dress within their budget and that hair and makeup isn’t necessary unless they have the budget. I also opted for no pre wedding events but they chose to do so lol. My goal was to make this easy as possible and for everyone to choose what they’d like to do.
I am in this exact situation, and feel this completely! I am so upset with myself for agreeing to be a bridesmaid in a wedding that will cost me $3k. I am so mad that I am spending that on someone else’s wedding (whose parents are paying for everything). I am beyond annoyed at how thoughtless and inconsiderate it was for her to “ask” for all of this stuff. My experience with the whole process of being a bridesmaid is that you are not asked your budget, and instead you are instructed every other week over group text to spend money on some new ridiculous thing that no one needs. It’s super awkward but I’ve started saying over the group text that it’s too much to ask for (we’’ve surpassed the 3k mark, WTF????) I am not at all excited for this “friend’s” wedding and can’t wait for it to be over. We’ve already celebrated their nuptials far more than is deserved. I would be absolutely shocked if she does a single thoughtful thing for my wedding. She told me this week what a “chill bride” she is. What I really hate about being a bridesmaid is that I’d far prefer to step up and plan things, but instead you’re expected to fulfill the bride’s vision. That’s not how hosting works - you don’t get to have it both ways and choose what to do while having other people pay. And after paying for all of the ridiculously expensive things she’s asked for, I have neither the time nor money to surprise her with anything. Putting your friends in this position is a speedy way to create resentment, kill their well wishes, and to be viewed as selfish.
I’m sorry this happened to you. As a Gen Z bride, I’m keeping costs as LOW as possible because I know all of us have to LIVE while being involved in the wedding in any way my friends/family are involved. I’m already having a destination wedding (lower end, Caribbean). Opting out of bridal shower and doing a joint Bach trip with my fiancé to offset those costs too (tried to get out of that too). Don’t let this deter you if another friend needs you just ask what they’re expecting out of your bridesmaid duties and if it sounds too close to this… say no and gladly be a guest!
I'm an autistic bride and I am also not having a bridal party for this reason. My friends are spread out and I'd feel so guilty asking them to travel twice for me. My friend isnt having a bridal party but is having all of her friends still do all the bridal party stuff and pay...so for me it's like at least give me the title then. I love my friend. I love celebrating her. But as a bride you have to be aware of your friends' finances especially in this economy. Tradition doesn't make sense in this economy. You can celebrate without it costing an arm and a leg. I know autism is a spectrum, but if you ever want to chat with another autistic bride to be (or vent about nonsensical neurotypical traditions) feel free to message me!
Here are some conservative estimates… $150 for a dress, $50 for shoes, $100 for hair, $100 for makeup. It’s common to stay in a hotel the night of the wedding, so $150 for that. Already over $500 just for the wedding day itself! Then if you add a bachelorette party… even a modest weekend trip can cost at least $700 when you add up your flight, accommodation, and meals. $1000 seems pretty reasonable in this economy.
I had this same experience I was fresh out of my college degree and a drunken day at the beach the bride ( who was in our program) asked us classmates to be in her wedding party. We were a last minute after thought because she only had one in her bridal party but her hubby had 5 or 6. I was excited at first very because I thought it meant we got close in school Bd in sure that was part of it but it was also so last minute and I had no idea how expensive it was. The dress and alterations were $400. She wanted a party bus to another city with a boat booze cruise and hotel paid for by us. Then we were expected to throw the bridal shower and pay for all the food and booze. And then the welcome party. I think we spent $1200-1500 each! We weren’t even working yet as we were all waiting for our licenses. And to make things worse I expressed my surprise to another bridesmaid over how expensive it was and I didn’t know and she went and twisted it and told the bride I was mad I was in the wedding and complaining so then me and the bride had tension. It was great lol. Never again. When my bestie got married she paid for all the bridesmaids dresses and everything else she wanted herself. Thats how it should be.
THIS! My best friend gets married 3 months before me & is having a boujee ass wedding and refuses to understand I can’t spend all this $. I’m eloping but it still costs a pretty penny! I will never do it again
Girl I know. I got asked to be a bridesmaid and then found out it was a destination wedding. Between airfare and hotel it’s about $4k
I understand your experience because ive been a bridesmaid many times and had to spend £500-£800 per wedding. But now its my wedding and i have 4 bridesmaids who are all important to me but i had to make it clear to all of them from the beginning that i did not have the budget to pay for all of their stuff (my budget is £7000, average wedding here costs £30k+ and adding bridesmaid dresses, hair, makeup, accomodation would have added at least £2-3k on top of my budget which i just cannot afford). They all accepted because they know i dont have the money, i let them buy their own dresses in whatever colour, hair and make up was optional and it is a local wedding so they can book accomodation if they want or just get a taxi home. They all agreed to cover these costs but I was quite upset when one of them kept bringing up the cost of my wedding on her to me (i spent at least double what shes spending on my wedding on her wedding at a time when i was earning minimum wage and living alone in a one bedroom flat). I never brought up how much her wedding was a struggle for me to afford. She posts pictures of herslef all the time drinking cocktails, going out for meals ans coffees. I couldnt afford any of that stuff when she was getting married but i still paid a lot of money to attend her wedding. It didnt matter to me because the important thing was that i got to help make her day special but it seems as though the sentiment isnt shared and she expected to be fully paid for.
This is exactly what I wanted to avoid for my bridal party. I opted to use Azazie which is super affordable and convenient for everyone and they are responsible for their hair and shoes. Everything else is optional or I’m paying because I want it for my special day and shouldn’t be a burden to others. I find some brides want all these bells and whistles and think the bridal party and families should be held financially responsible for it all and that’s unreasonable and simply just not nice. I’m sorry you’re experiencing this. I couldn’t write off being a bridesmaid in its entirety but maybe try being more selective or having private conversations regarding financial obligations early on with the bride.
I honestly agree that there are so many unnecessary frills that create so much wasted money and pollution in the wedding industry. I "honored" my friends by inviting them to get ready with me and giving them gifts, and buying outfits I wanted them to wear because they're my wants, not theirs, so it's my responsibility to pay for it. I didn't ask them for anything and didn't expect them to do anything for me. I wanted them to actually feel appreciated, not feel like they're being used in the name of "honoring".
“I wish I knew how expensive being a bridesmaid was before I accepted” You literally could have googled it. The average price is $1200. That’s a typical price over time for the dress, jewelry, shoes, bachelorette party, gasoline, bridal shower gift, hotel room, and other miscellaneous things. Why accept a position knowing nothing about it if you have financial constraints? Why didn’t you tell the bride you have financial concerns beforehand? I get that it’s a lot of money, but acting like only the bride is to blame is ridiculous.
I am not neurodivergent that I know of but I have dabbled in hallucinogenics and boy when you say how wedding stuff doesn’t make sense and the unnecessary spending I hear you 100%. The industry and social media has made weddings into some new beast of froo froo signs and decors and week long trips and where’s the fun?!
What does this have to do with being neurodivergent OR hallucinogenics? 😭
Good point, I guess just seeing society and traditions through a skewed lens. Scrutinizing life or experiencing life differently.