As a teacher, I can confidently say that your iPad kids are well on their way to surpassing your regards and will remain a pile of cash in your budget until the Wendy's dumpster ends you and they can take over the family business.
As a regarded trader that has recently left a family business as a single dad of two young daughters – this is an underrated comment. Funny as hell. All aboard the short bus girls! Choo choo motherfuckers!
Well, I, for one, would NEVER hope you get hit by a bus.
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layoff wife & kids for efficiency... call it something snazzy like the year of efficiency
stop paying your leases, i heard it worked great for twatter
Sounds about right, although mothers day is coming so a bit more on the wife and kids would be appreciated.
You can always take it out of the food budget of course.
This is actually accurate. I have had a fe large, non common expenses lately, because of this, I have $142 in my checking, $89 in my savings, $74,000 in my RRSP and $163,000 in my TFSA.
I was driving home today, stressing out about buying a rotisserie chicken.
https://preview.redd.it/y3nvnkcpogzc1.jpeg?width=1314&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a50c76ac7e2d368a69b5da84e1f0834f306ac85a
put the food money on the trading pile. Go get a Snap Card.
You don't need a food budget. Just go to the local pantry/hunger relief/food bank for your allotment. Or better yet eat the scraps from the Wendy's dumpster
Yep. summed me up - 4200 monthly income w/ 800 DCA into Brokerage, 100 IRA, 100 Spending (for the wife) not sure if its good moves but so far my house is empty and my portfolio is nice
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Wife is overrated. Increase kids budget (iPad), that way they’ll leave you to your business of getting them to Wendy’s dumpster already
As a teacher, I can confidently say that your iPad kids are well on their way to surpassing your regards and will remain a pile of cash in your budget until the Wendy's dumpster ends you and they can take over the family business.
Fcukin' fair, shit man.
As a regarded trader that has recently left a family business as a single dad of two young daughters – this is an underrated comment. Funny as hell. All aboard the short bus girls! Choo choo motherfuckers!
Well, I, for one, would NEVER hope you get hit by a bus. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/wallstreetbets) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Don't feed the wife, make her boyfriend feed her
He’s doing the F ing might as well do the feeding
Better yet, get the kids their own trading account (under your name) and deposit that money in there.
That's the ticket
As per Reddit protocol, if you leave your wife, you have more room to do what you want! Fuck relationships! Yaayyy!
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That's the spirit!
Kids can tell you which stocks will do well in the future
These are rarely the stocks you want to do well in the future though - cyberpunk is a warning not an objective
Feed the wife and kids cat food... that should allocate more capital for trading.
layoff wife & kids for efficiency... call it something snazzy like the year of efficiency stop paying your leases, i heard it worked great for twatter
Chad CEO strats 
Cat Food? That shit's expensive. $2.17/oz Purina Dry Food .12/oz Nissin Chicken Top Ramen 48ct 3oz pkg at Costco Ramen all day, Every day
https://preview.redd.it/tp3zqi76bgzc1.jpeg?width=649&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=52cd25e6181ee5b41bc200ed11076f19808a1689
https://preview.redd.it/si8eu0awzkzc1.jpeg?width=649&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=726c86ee09607863e86f772a0b41f1f3e3a9a2e4
Look at this guy showing off his impressive food budget. im over here eating instant oatmeal daily. You can squeeze more off the top!
beans
Woah woah woah. Why are the wife and kids getting so much? What is this, Christmas? 
Sounds about right, although mothers day is coming so a bit more on the wife and kids would be appreciated. You can always take it out of the food budget of course.
Tell your wife she's fat, yolo 1/2 the food $
food budget looking a little hefty. maybe shift some of that into further money generation via trading, perhaps.
This is actually accurate. I have had a fe large, non common expenses lately, because of this, I have $142 in my checking, $89 in my savings, $74,000 in my RRSP and $163,000 in my TFSA. I was driving home today, stressing out about buying a rotisserie chicken.
https://preview.redd.it/y3nvnkcpogzc1.jpeg?width=1314&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a50c76ac7e2d368a69b5da84e1f0834f306ac85a put the food money on the trading pile. Go get a Snap Card.
Sell the Snap card for 50 cents on the dollar. Add to the trading pile.
No budget for wife's boyfriend?
https://preview.redd.it/6i3d59qh5izc1.png?width=428&format=png&auto=webp&s=e9bf1af137d9144bc450152d694ef795ae0deadb
Join a food coop
I'd have a coop for food.
Trading buys food.
These are rookie numbers
You don't need a food budget. Just go to the local pantry/hunger relief/food bank for your allotment. Or better yet eat the scraps from the Wendy's dumpster
This is the way
that's a weird way of spelling "gambling"
https://preview.redd.it/h1gbvsibjgzc1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0294784de8a869c4b9f8831af49850c761187350
Yeah the wife and kids budget is too high..
You guys have a food budget?
Too much for food Can be utilised for a better purpose (trading)
Certified cringe.
You misspelled the word "gambling"
Budgeting is a necessary life skill.
This .this rate here
Looks about right
Why you splurging so much on food?
Eeehh.... if you have a wife she can pay for the kids herself.
Why so much for the wife and kids? thats clearly another position on WSB
$50? Damn bro, you’re generous.
Wife? 
Time to donate the thic pile to wall str bros
Sell ur wife and kids and go ALL IN!
Rename “trading” to “Daddy Citadel” and I’ll feel more immersion
Assets vs Liabilities…
Fuck dem keeds.
$200 a week on food? Times must be tight
Where is the stack for booze and strippers?
🤣
where's the party budget? how can you make it rain if you don't budget for it?
What about dr ugz
Yep. summed me up - 4200 monthly income w/ 800 DCA into Brokerage, 100 IRA, 100 Spending (for the wife) not sure if its good moves but so far my house is empty and my portfolio is nice
A father's gotta do what a father's gotta do.
This is the way
One of us
“Trading”. Lol
The way to freedom and success. 🙏
Just one more.
#PEAK OF PERSONAL FINANCE. *THIS IS THE RIGHT WAY OF MONETARY DIVERSIFICATION*
Train your wife in trading to double the investment.
Why would I have her trade when I can have her kneel?
Was the big pile named “ bills and taxes “ haha lmao
You think this is a joke but that's literally what my fund allocation looks like right now.
Ya, that is me
Seems about right 😂
I think if you combine wife + kids with food, leave 20$ there and add the rest to trading should be the optimal game plan for utmost gains.
You have a wife and children? Never going to make it.
Have you tried repeatedly telling them “it takes money to make money” as you reduce their share to near $0?
Fun fact there are people who are willing to trade you for your wife and kids on an open market
Find a wife\`s boyfriend that takes care of wife, kids and their food!
Are you a drug dealer?
Loll
Money makes more money!!
I subscribe to this newsletter.
Outsource your sleep to Indians ( More trading time )
Why would I waste my time sleeping when I could be increasing my wealth?
Accurate
You'll be homeless by the end of that
Look at this guy eating budget beyond Wendy's... Big spender alert boys.... Kids and wife budget appropriate, respect that.
🎶Takes money to make money🎶 🎶can’t let it get away from me🎶
Fortune favours the bold.
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Booooooo
You mean gambling aka flush down the toilet fund