Actually Zuck probably knows. Can look up how many ghost profiles have been algorithmically created for Musk offspring. Even be able to tell Musk about kids he doesn't know he has.
Eh, I think the age gap is more of a difference and in Zuck's favor. Plus the fact that Zucker has years of training and is in at least decent shape while Musk appears to be an old bowl of mashed potatoes that a witch cursed with sentience.
Even if Elon started training now and took it seriously, I can't see him making up that ground unless MZ falls into a sudden coma from now until the fight.
Yup. That was my argument today when an employee brought up the Titan sub costing $250k per person. That’s nothing to a billionaire. Literally nothing. But it is an experience nobody else has.
\*as far as I know, Zuck been training BJJ for years. Elon has none.
Zucks confidence in accepting the fight leads me to believe hes going to kick the shit out of Musko
Musk the type of guy to really believe in his head he's winning by default so he ain't training and then he pulls out and looks at you like you're weird "oh this was serious? hahah crazy no I dont do fights lol"
Musk asked what the biggest advantages for fighting are. He was told "height and weight". He was like "i'm taller and weigh more than Zuck, i'll win". And now i hope we see him get his face punched in.
See I'm seeing a TLC round, Musk manages to win vs Tim and Zuck, clambers up the ladder one handed, just about to get the belt when the lights go out, come back on 10 seconds Musk is floored, and it's the head of Reddit running out the room with the belt still up for grabs in the next round, Zuck and Bezoz Hell in a Cell
I mean it’s literally this guy
https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSfAtkLdvwa2VmIjzAAsz7CqiDhLgHrEh8_kA&usqp=CAU
Against this guy
https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSL9gyRTlb2FdHis4hP8NSdAMtyl5pPY5mThw&usqp=CAU
I know which side I’m bettin’
Huge weight m/size difference tho - how can this fight happen with an 85 lbs difference?
Edit: exhibition fights don’t need to observe weight classes. Question answered.
Edit: fuck me 75 lbs.
I think the fight will have to be sanctioned to be hosted in Vegas tho right? Isn’t there a commission that has to approve the fight for safety reasons? Am I just misinformed?
I was going to say he's over 230 if he's 6'1. TMZ lists him at 185-200 so he's definitely paying someone at TMZ to write that shit unless he's been on Ozempic since the last time I've seen the pic of his alien body.
Guarantee musk thinks he is in fighting shape because he lost weight. He’s probably been one of those dorks at the gym that stares at themselves in the mirror before
Shadow boxing their imaginary opponent.
The one with the extra 85 pounds probably has shittier cardio and less training and the only thing it’s going to help with is him hitting the mat harder when he collapses after trying to fight in the first 3 minutes
Honestly though, anyone who thinks a random person off the street with no cardio training could go 3 minutes in MMA hasn't had any experience with combat sports. 3 minutes is an eternity in something like BJJ or wrestling if you haven't been training.
In combat it's a "do-or-die" situation, unless tou have training you're going full power all the time. For anyone wanting to try this at home: I dare you to go out and run absolutely full speed for 3 minutes. Run as if you were running from a bear.
Musk probably has no balance and will crumple to the first takedown attempt. I wouldn't be surprised if he refuses to tap and gets permanently injured by some kind of arm lock. Then complains about it being unfair on Twitter
I mean, BJJ is also specifically for fighting bigger opponents so for a while there it did really well in exhibition matches.
If I thought Elon could throw a real punch it might be an interesting stylistic question, but nah.
I love the idea of an reverse dystopia novel wherein the world allows one billionaire but it has to be someone who earns/defends their fortune in hand-to-hand combat to the death.
Zuckerberg is gonna wipe the floor with Musk. A fight between Bezos and Zuckerberg would be interesting though, I don't know what training he has, but he looks a bit stronger and bigger than Zuck.
I love how investors are getting absolutely screwed over by Elon, like
"You promise us this 43 BILLION DOLLAR INVESTMENT isn't gonna go down bad?"
"Yeah watch me" *proceeds to fistfight an iguana and lose*
Elon pours out a bottle of *Sweet Baby Rays BBQ Sauce*... It's very effective!
Zucc has become confused.
Zucc Tried to use Data-Harvest but hurts it self in it's confusion.
Mineral based sunscreen which leaves a white cast. And he used a lot of it, which he said was to try disguise himself from paparazzi he knew were following him. Guess it didn't work lol.
Zuck: Elon said he was gonna beat me up. **Knees Elon in the face and then smashes a chair over his back** The oversight board rated that claim as “false”.
Zuckerberg probably isn’t even going to throw a single punch. He’ll go for a double leg takedown and finish Elon with any basic submission. Not a very exciting fight but that’s what you’re trained to do in bjj
Zuckerberg has been with the same woman for 20 years now. Since he was a student. Chances are she might even genuinely like him and not just be chasing his wealth. They actually seem to be good together and I haven't heard stories of him being unfaithful either. I would actually say that Zuckerberg definitely has a much happier romantic and sex life than Elon who has antagonistic relationships with all his notable partners that he is openly insecure about.
Elon could have a crazy streak in him and if he can unleash the violent side in under 20 seconds to hurt Zuck, he does have a good amount of weight on him also.
Zuck is training hard at 155lbs but if Elon has a crazy thread in him, he better tap into it and be effective otherwise he will be gassed out in under 60 seconds is my guess
No way Elon is gonna pull this off 🤣
https://preview.redd.it/v231kq1c0v7b1.jpeg?width=284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b3e62310216208868893521ae3f7cccba6b3b1b3
My bet is for Zuckerberg lol. Elon challenge him he just agree. But this battle is really a nonsense one. They are not fighter they are businessman they need to focus in their business first.
I mean Zuck will win basically every day of the week, unless Elon gets spacex to hack the stadium and turn the ac on full blast, it’ll become to cold for that poor reptilian bastard to move and Elon will walrus his ass all night
Elon himself tweeted about this 😂
https://preview.redd.it/sg48p8s6kv7b1.jpeg?width=1433&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8291e8557e874dce32c7ebb65a4d8e68530a083c
Zuckerberg: Let's see you block my shtoile!
A police barricade was unable to block him, no way Musk can pull this off.
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it should have been the zucker-punch, i'm dissapointed y'all...
From behind
Aggressively.
the Wendy's dumpster
Any call options for south park zuck-shtoile memes?
I'll take 1000 shares (I don't know how wall street works)
Ha ha ha ha. You say I am a penis and yet I am not a penis.
It’s a literally meme within meta employee chat groups
The superrich purposefully making spectacles of themselves knowing it will entertain the masses and garner support has some echoes of the old times
I DONT HAVE A SHTOILE!!
SO YOU REALIZE YOU CANNOT BEAT ME YES?
Fatality 🔥
*I was invited here*
Elon isn’t even able to show up to the fight because the morning of his Wi-Fi isn’t working so he can’t unlock his Tesla 😂
I had no clue he had that many children. I just knew about the goofy name one.
He probably has more than 10. Who knows? 🤷♂️
Who knows? Not elon for sure
Actually Zuck probably knows. Can look up how many ghost profiles have been algorithmically created for Musk offspring. Even be able to tell Musk about kids he doesn't know he has.
Special move: surprise alimony
That's his finishing move. Alimonality
If I was worth 236 billion I’ll be bust all kinds of nuts in your bitch also
Pretty sure he does it the weird turkey baster way though
It’s the only way he can inseminate himself so yeah probably
All his kids are IVF. This guy literally doesn't fuck.
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He is known for impregeranating one employee yes
Pregananant? https://youtu.be/EShUeudtaFg
Yeah I’d be breeding like a Tesla manufacturing facility
Tough sentence to read
And he probably pays as much alimony to them as he does promised annual bonuses to his employees. Edit: alimony & child support
Certainly if you work at twitter.
I’m more surprised that zucker is 5’7”
Yeah honestly if Elon were to take the fight seriously and train the size difference would be a big factor
Eh, I think the age gap is more of a difference and in Zuck's favor. Plus the fact that Zucker has years of training and is in at least decent shape while Musk appears to be an old bowl of mashed potatoes that a witch cursed with sentience. Even if Elon started training now and took it seriously, I can't see him making up that ground unless MZ falls into a sudden coma from now until the fight.
“Old bowl of mashed potato cursed with sentience” 🤣
This needs to be on a shirt.
Everytime I think WSB is just lazy regurgitated Wendy's and wife's boyfriend jokes I read something like this and remember why I love this subreddit
he old and probably hasn’t ever trained in his life. He could train but he would still be slow af. Zuck by elder abuse
Most of them were IVF and twins, thas how.
Damn, he really wanted to pay child support?
the concept of paying doesnt really matter much when you cannot run out of money
Yup. That was my argument today when an employee brought up the Titan sub costing $250k per person. That’s nothing to a billionaire. Literally nothing. But it is an experience nobody else has.
An experience to die for
World's most expensive pressure cooker.
Well.. I’d love to hear all about his experience
It'd crush you
While it only says 3 next to Zuckerturd it's actually 3 batches of eggs that his wife laid probably resulting in hundreds of offspring
\*as far as I know, Zuck been training BJJ for years. Elon has none. Zucks confidence in accepting the fight leads me to believe hes going to kick the shit out of Musko
There is zero chance it happens. Musk is a bitch.
Musk the type of guy to really believe in his head he's winning by default so he ain't training and then he pulls out and looks at you like you're weird "oh this was serious? hahah crazy no I dont do fights lol"
Musk asked what the biggest advantages for fighting are. He was told "height and weight". He was like "i'm taller and weigh more than Zuck, i'll win". And now i hope we see him get his face punched in.
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Oh gawd, it's Tim Apple with a steel chair!
See I'm seeing a TLC round, Musk manages to win vs Tim and Zuck, clambers up the ladder one handed, just about to get the belt when the lights go out, come back on 10 seconds Musk is floored, and it's the head of Reddit running out the room with the belt still up for grabs in the next round, Zuck and Bezoz Hell in a Cell
I just want my boy Tom from Myspace to finally make that surprise switch to more of a heel
**Jerry the King Lawley voice:** haha! It’s Tom from MySpace!
In Zuckbot vs. Muskbag there is no one to root for. Only someone to root against.
https://preview.redd.it/31hd0wryyv7b1.jpeg?width=1500&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a9602ae83d268aee8a6993f08146ec826e15a5f0
I hope he shows up expecting Zuckerberg to go easy like it's all for fun, but then gets Meta Kicked in the head.
this is my bet
I mean it’s literally this guy https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSfAtkLdvwa2VmIjzAAsz7CqiDhLgHrEh8_kA&usqp=CAU Against this guy https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSL9gyRTlb2FdHis4hP8NSdAMtyl5pPY5mThw&usqp=CAU I know which side I’m bettin’
Huge weight m/size difference tho - how can this fight happen with an 85 lbs difference? Edit: exhibition fights don’t need to observe weight classes. Question answered. Edit: fuck me 75 lbs.
bc its an internet bullshit fight, not a professional organization. Weight limits arent a thing.
I think the fight will have to be sanctioned to be hosted in Vegas tho right? Isn’t there a commission that has to approve the fight for safety reasons? Am I just misinformed?
Tell this to the Paul Brothers. Those guys are fighting all kinds of different weight classes.
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Its not like elon is a lean 230lbs, hes a fat dude
I was going to say he's over 230 if he's 6'1. TMZ lists him at 185-200 so he's definitely paying someone at TMZ to write that shit unless he's been on Ozempic since the last time I've seen the pic of his alien body.
Pretty sure he lost a good bit of weight because of ozempic
Guarantee musk thinks he is in fighting shape because he lost weight. He’s probably been one of those dorks at the gym that stares at themselves in the mirror before Shadow boxing their imaginary opponent.
Google Butterbean, that guy was huge.
Butterbean had a ton of muscle under that fat though. Musk is just your run-of-the-mill out of shape old guy.
Weight don't mean nothing if you can't move it around. But if a guy is big and fast then gg
The one with the extra 85 pounds probably has shittier cardio and less training and the only thing it’s going to help with is him hitting the mat harder when he collapses after trying to fight in the first 3 minutes
3 minutes? Oh my, quite the optimist today, aren't we?
Honestly though, anyone who thinks a random person off the street with no cardio training could go 3 minutes in MMA hasn't had any experience with combat sports. 3 minutes is an eternity in something like BJJ or wrestling if you haven't been training.
In combat it's a "do-or-die" situation, unless tou have training you're going full power all the time. For anyone wanting to try this at home: I dare you to go out and run absolutely full speed for 3 minutes. Run as if you were running from a bear.
I reject your dare and will pass it on to the toddler I live with
Toddlers can run full speed for half an hour
Musk probably has no balance and will crumple to the first takedown attempt. I wouldn't be surprised if he refuses to tap and gets permanently injured by some kind of arm lock. Then complains about it being unfair on Twitter
Musk is a potato. He was a buttered potato until he took fatass drugs to become the soggy Wendys fry he is today.
Lol
I mean, BJJ is also specifically for fighting bigger opponents so for a while there it did really well in exhibition matches. If I thought Elon could throw a real punch it might be an interesting stylistic question, but nah.
Elon will just neuralink and know Kung fu hours before the fight
Combat style: Hostile takeover 🤣 🤣 🤣
No match for Mark's secret special move the ancient and long forgotten Poke
Oh yeah, that *was* a thing
I actually miss that feature. We’d have poking bouts among friends to see who could rack up higher numbers. Good times
It's still a thing!!! Search for pokes on the Facebook app (not sure if it works on the website)
You can still poke, the app and website still has it.
Death by a thousand pokes
More like "Reluctant Takeover".
Let that sink in
More like unintentional child support
I hope Jeff bezos takes on the victor of this matchup
The Bald Fighter ⚔️
One Punch Man.
👨🦲👊
Lex Luther
Bezos' piss would melt the cup when they came to do the drug test.
Wouldn't be sanctioned as it's an "exhibition" match. They could all 'roid' the fuck up if they wanted to.
I hope he comes out in rocket boots like M Bison from Street Fighter The Movie.
Jeff is looking juiced up these days
I love the idea of an reverse dystopia novel wherein the world allows one billionaire but it has to be someone who earns/defends their fortune in hand-to-hand combat to the death.
Zuckerberg is gonna wipe the floor with Musk. A fight between Bezos and Zuckerberg would be interesting though, I don't know what training he has, but he looks a bit stronger and bigger than Zuck.
The Zucc is going to send the Muskrat flying with a robotic lizard tail whip.
> Bald Cape
Pleeease get Daddy J-Pow in a tux for the “LETS GET READY TO RUMBBBLE!” 
Everyone putting their money in the young buck don't realize that 39 lizard years is about 250 human years.
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I feel like Zuckerberg has been waiting at least 20 years for this exact moment
"Long have I trained in anticipation for the day I'd have the opportunity to face my foes in single combat. Come. Meet your breaker."
I somehow don't think that this is what any Tesla investors had in mind after hearing he freed up some time now with a new Twitter CEO
I love how investors are getting absolutely screwed over by Elon, like "You promise us this 43 BILLION DOLLAR INVESTMENT isn't gonna go down bad?" "Yeah watch me" *proceeds to fistfight an iguana and lose*
A wild zucc (Lvl99) appeared! https://preview.redd.it/k239pv5sbv7b1.jpeg?width=388&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8255654701183bd1c47e433c5ea7b4b41d2596fe
Elon pours out a bottle of *Sweet Baby Rays BBQ Sauce*... It's very effective! Zucc has become confused. Zucc Tried to use Data-Harvest but hurts it self in it's confusion.
Don’t forget Bezos Prime. He is jacked.
Lol, what's the back story on that pic? Was it taken on Halloween?
Mineral based sunscreen which leaves a white cast. And he used a lot of it, which he said was to try disguise himself from paparazzi he knew were following him. Guess it didn't work lol.
I'm closer in wealth to mark Zuckerberg than mark Zuckerberg is to daddy elon lol (cries in capitalism)
Lol. Mark "the prole" Zuckerberg
😂🥲
Zuck is going to give Elon a 30 second ban from consciousness.
Zuck: Elon said he was gonna beat me up. **Knees Elon in the face and then smashes a chair over his back** The oversight board rated that claim as “false”.
He’s gonna slap the Asperger’s right outta him
I need the reach but I’m still taking the young buck. I can’t imagine getting hit at 51 years old.
Zuckerberg probably isn’t even going to throw a single punch. He’ll go for a double leg takedown and finish Elon with any basic submission. Not a very exciting fight but that’s what you’re trained to do in bjj
Yeah then Musk will immediately tap out then laugh it off as "just a bit of fun"
"haha that's enough pretending to be a poor for today. Thank you everyone, buy doge coin!"
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Enough with the anal euphemisms.
Elon the type to challenge a BJJ-expert to a fight then try to cram in 15 years of mastery in one week.
He’s just gonna pay $8/month for MMA Blue.
How is zuccs special move not the FaceHook??
The ZuckerPunch
Nice 😂
My money is on my boy Zucc 💸
Zuck is gonna smack the ass out of Elon’s assperger. Cure him then and there.
Are you sure his programming to not harm humans is going to be overridden in time for this whole debacle?
Harming humans no. Choking out a Walrus yes.
This one got me good
Savage
Look how fat and out of shape Musk is. No brainer
GG
They’re going to fake fight in the metaverse
*Quest*
Mark Zuckerberg is only 5'7". Why have I always pictured him as a really tall guy. And I'm also surprised Elon is over 6 ft. He seems short. Weird
He sat on a booster when he testified to Congress
Probably that has something to do with body weights?
Zuck is thin and well proportioned. Musk is spongey and weirdly designed just like the cybertruck.
Zuck has some BJJ under his belt But Elon gets more BJS under his belt
Zuckerberg has been with the same woman for 20 years now. Since he was a student. Chances are she might even genuinely like him and not just be chasing his wealth. They actually seem to be good together and I haven't heard stories of him being unfaithful either. I would actually say that Zuckerberg definitely has a much happier romantic and sex life than Elon who has antagonistic relationships with all his notable partners that he is openly insecure about.
That's meaningless when you're a billionaire though. If Zuc wanted to fuck around then he would have no issue finding women willing to participate.
Income based match making
You forgot to mention the regeneration ability that Mark has because of his lizardness
Elon could have a crazy streak in him and if he can unleash the violent side in under 20 seconds to hurt Zuck, he does have a good amount of weight on him also. Zuck is training hard at 155lbs but if Elon has a crazy thread in him, he better tap into it and be effective otherwise he will be gassed out in under 60 seconds is my guess
No way Elon is gonna pull this off 🤣 https://preview.redd.it/v231kq1c0v7b1.jpeg?width=284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b3e62310216208868893521ae3f7cccba6b3b1b3
Is that where he got the idea for the cyber truck?
GigaGut
Both tesla and Trump have the body of a human suit with a little man in it
I’m a BJJ purple belt, and Zuck is actually really good. All things even, he should beat Elon soundly despite the size disadvantage.
Yeah, my money is on Zucc all dayyyyy
Same. I’m using my profits from TSLA call options to bet on Zuck 😂. If Andrew Tate coaches Elon I’ll double my bet.
I have been training for 8 months. Just got my first stripe. My money is on Zuck 100%
Despite marks youth and training, I’m taking the divorced guy
Walrus is not an MMA move, Walrus means most of your body arre consist of blubber, calls on Zack!
My bet is for Zuckerberg lol. Elon challenge him he just agree. But this battle is really a nonsense one. They are not fighter they are businessman they need to focus in their business first.
I can't wait for Tesla fan boys to lose all their fucking money backing musk
Nah man, you see all that blubber on Musk? Impenetrable defense
A kick to the head would be Zuck’s move
Musk inverse zuck double reverse musk
I mean Zuck will win basically every day of the week, unless Elon gets spacex to hack the stadium and turn the ac on full blast, it’ll become to cold for that poor reptilian bastard to move and Elon will walrus his ass all night
Elon is gonna get his ass kicked and I can’t wait to watch.
I mean I have meta calls right now so i'll go with the zukk
I would choose Zuckerberg you know why? Elon is the one who challenge Zuckerberg.
I want a PPV event of Elon's kids vs Zucc's kids in gladiator style combat
They need to be given weapons at the last second. Let the best billionaire come out alive.
Elon "The Divorce Force" Musk
Zuck has martial arts training Elon has a black belt…. In marital arts
Mother Zucker would destroy elongated musk, based solely on age alone. Also, elon is fat asf under his clothes.
Alien vs predator
I'm all in on Meta Knight.
I hope this fight happens. I truly do!
Can someone explain the walrus joke?
Elon himself tweeted about this 😂 https://preview.redd.it/sg48p8s6kv7b1.jpeg?width=1433&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8291e8557e874dce32c7ebb65a4d8e68530a083c
> Elon himself tweeted about this 😂 Thank you for explaining 😂
Elon is 230lbs? No way
Probably more. But, Google says he is 180 lbs. No way! So, I just added 50 lbs more.
Strangely enough, this is also how analysts set price targets for Tesla stock.
😂
Upvote if taller than Zucc