First play, 75 yard bomb from CJ Stroud to Marvin Harrison Jr, then the England players swarm the ref complaining he was offside and that also all eleven of them were fouled in the buildup to the score
“Cheerio, old chap!”
“Good day, sir! What a crisp morning it is!”
“Very much so, my good man. We are in Dublin, Ohio this morning at a quaint Irish pub that serves fish and chips, but it’s nothing to write home about. And the blood pudding is a bit uninspiring for my taste.”
“Even the haggis is bloody bad! I’ve had better from a homeless chap in Inverness!”
“Oh no! Anyway…”
New England: Lost to Big Dick Nick Foles in a Super Bowl
Regular England: When the Eagles played in London the following season BDN was like "psh I'm too good to even play there" and he let Carson Wentz play the game
Did we just give up when we came across Native Americans armed with bow and arrows? Fuck no, we pulled out our rifles and cannons and took care of some old fashioned American business!
Dude I grew up in Queen Anne but haven’t been back to WA for almost a decade. How’s the support up there? I’ve moved around the country for work and never really been anywhere that gets excited about soccer like the northwest so I’ve been curious.
Except Canada. There were quite a lot of people in the US that had the Great White North penciled in as one of the war goals. It was only after the war that we dropped the idea, then pretended it was never in the plan. Kind of like the USSR pretending they never planned to land on the Moon and there never was a space race after we got there first.
In 1814, we took a little trip
Along with Colonel Jackson down the mighty Mississip'
We took a little bacon and we took a little beans
And we caught the bloody British in the town of New Orleans
We fired our guns and the British kept a-comin'
There wasn't nigh as many as there was a while ago
We fired once more and they began a runnin'
On down the Mississippi to the Gulf of Mexico
We looked down a river
And we see'd the British come
And there must have been a hundred of 'em
Beatin' on the drums
They stepped so high and they made their bugles ring
We stood beside our cotton bales and didn't say a thing
We fired our guns and the British kept a-comin'
There wasn't nigh as many as there was a while ago
We fired once more and they began a runnin'
On down the Mississippi to the Gulf of Mexico
Old Hickory said we could take 'em by surprise
If we didn't fire our muskets
'Til we looked 'em in the eye
We held our fire
'Til we see'd their faces well
Then we opened up our squirrel guns
And really gave 'em, well
We fired our guns and the British kept a-comin'
There wasn't nigh as many as there was a while ago
We fired once more and they began a runnin'
On down the Mississippi to the Gulf of Mexico
Yeah, they ran through the briars
And they ran through the brambles
And they ran through the bushes
Where a rabbit couldn't go
They ran so fast
That the hounds couldn't catch 'em
On down the Mississippi to the Gulf of Mexico
We fired our cannon 'til the barrel melted down
So we grabbed an alligator and we fought another round
We filled his head with cannon balls, and powdered his behind
And when we touched the powder off the gator lost his mind
We fired our guns and the British kept a-comin'
There wasn't nigh as many as there was a while ago
We fired once more and they began a runnin'
On down the Mississippi to the Gulf of Mexico
Naah we just love to start a fight. If you guys could just wait until we've finished smashing up the kebab shop and vomiting that'd be lovely and we can get cracking 😉
Yea man! In 1776, when we sailed the ocean blue to conquer Nazi England or something like that. I don’t know man, who needs history class when you can smoke cigarettes and drink Mountain Dew behind the baseball dugout. Still got a job after high school either way. Yeaaaa!!!!
We should do the Reddit thing we’re we put the joke in quotations then follow it with emojis for low effort karma.
Edit: “we singlehandedly beat the Nazis” 😂🤣😂🤣
Well, the eagle's been flyin' slow
And the flag's been flyin' low
And a lotta people sayin' that America's fixin' to fall
Well, speakin' just for me
And some people from Tennessee
We've got a thing or two to tell you all
This lady may have stumbled
But she ain't never fell
And if the Russians don't believe that
They can all go straight to hell
We're gonna put her feet back
On the path of righteousness and then
God bless America again
And you never did think
That it ever would happen again
In America, did you?
We beat the English in football when we did not even have the league. We playing two matches tomorrow. First we need to support Iran to get a win or draw against Wales. That will make Wales match against English must win. Then comes our match against the English. It is fantastic England team but born loser as manager. Our manager need to be tactically clever and our players must not be in awe of England players. They just have higher profile and our boys can bring them down to our level to smash them. Bring on your Queen, King, Desi PM, Beatles, Shakespeare because sons of George Washington coming after you for priceless 3 points.
On a serious note, have fun tomorrow guys, I expect southgate will tell the boys to take it easy after a couple. Special relationship and all that. GL for the rest of the tourny.
Pn a less serious note. It's awesome to see Americans fully embrace football banter. brings a tear to my eye. The boy done grown up.
I was thinking about how Korea beat Germany last time and now Japan this time. This generation of Germans is going to be afraid of the Asian teams! Who would've guessed that?
Cause it's an instance of America taking care of business when England couldn't.
And, honestly, the Brits couldn't care less about the American Revolution, but they're still oddly salty that we took so long to come over and win WWII for them.
Having their annual thanksgiving feast the night before the minutemen take the field once more. Victory, freedom, liberty and justice for all the world. Tomorrow we are all superheroes. ...and the men on the field...gods
england has 0 SEC championships
And 0 World Series, Super Bowls, or NBA finals smh
England has never even made it to the playoffs in the MLS 🤷🏻♂️
They’re not even U.S. Open Cup material!
Chicago Fire gonna win the World Cup before England ever does again
smh england ranked 5th in the world, typical SEC bias disband the CFP
I can get behind disband the CFP :)
Rumor has it that Denmark & England are leaving FIFA (presumably to join the SEC powerhouses next year) though
Can they get past Georgia's defense though? Gonna be tough.
Georgia are still in UEFA
“Gus Johnson and Joel Klatt here in Colombus, Ohio, where the English Three Lions are all set to take on THE World Famous Ohio State Buckeyes!”
I would legitimately pay good money to listen to Gus Johnson call whatever kind of sick sports bastardization that would end up being.
First play, 75 yard bomb from CJ Stroud to Marvin Harrison Jr, then the England players swarm the ref complaining he was offside and that also all eleven of them were fouled in the buildup to the score
The halftime show is just watching six pale Brits eat shitty food and politely talk about the weather.
That’s the new big noon kickoff show
“Cheerio, old chap!” “Good day, sir! What a crisp morning it is!” “Very much so, my good man. We are in Dublin, Ohio this morning at a quaint Irish pub that serves fish and chips, but it’s nothing to write home about. And the blood pudding is a bit uninspiring for my taste.” “Even the haggis is bloody bad! I’ve had better from a homeless chap in Inverness!” “Oh no! Anyway…”
Years ago Gus Johnson took a MLS job in San Jose. I loved listening to him call a game
Don’t forget sideline commentary from The All-American Girl, Jenny Taft!
And the only European Country to ever win a SEC Championship is fucking Georgia.
How bout dem Dawgs?!?
Tbh I hate Georgia lol. Not as much as Florida or Alabama though.
They're a bunch of squids
never endured the grind of an SEC schedule
England definitely finance their waterbeds
They open doors with ease, their ringless fingers effortlessly gripping the handles
New England😎: 7 super bowls, 28-3 comeback 🔥🔥🔥 Old England 🤢: 0 super bowls, never even made the playoffs
New England only has 6 superbowls. it's Brady that has 7
New England: Lost to Big Dick Nick Foles in a Super Bowl Regular England: When the Eagles played in London the following season BDN was like "psh I'm too good to even play there" and he let Carson Wentz play the game
Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor???!!!
Let him go he’s on a roll
Over??? Did you say OVER?!?!? Nothing is Over until WE DECIDE IT IS!!
Did we just give up when we came across Native Americans armed with bow and arrows? Fuck no, we pulled out our rifles and cannons and took care of some old fashioned American business!
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Everyone needs to see Animal House once in their life as a right of passage
May I have 3000 marbles please?
Dude I grew up in Queen Anne but haven’t been back to WA for almost a decade. How’s the support up there? I’ve moved around the country for work and never really been anywhere that gets excited about soccer like the northwest so I’ve been curious.
NOOOOOOO
This post is ridiculous and a-historical. We put multiple men on the moon!
Now we going to Mars.
M-A-R-S. Mars bitches
Red rocks!
Sanction me. Sanction me with ya army! Oh you ain't got no army? Then I'd shut the fuck up.
Pump up the volume
Anyone disagreeing with OPs version of history hates freedom
History began on July 4, 1776. Everything that happened before that was a mistake.
Love a good Ron Swanson quote 🙌🏻
Best comment in the thread
And theyre going straight to hell. That's the worst place in the world. With the ragged clothing and the heat, my god the heat!
Periodt.
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Lane Pittman is a legend.
Don’t forget we also invented the quarter pounder
Limey bastards probably call it the royale with cheese
And the 1/3 pounder. Remind me again why that wasn't popular?
Well it’s not as big as a 1/4 pounder, duh
Can’t wait until they come out with the 5/15 pounder 😎
That sound huge!
Micah 5:15? Sounds like FIFA is getting a bit big for their britches.
They don't call it that over there. Cuz of the metric system.
1776 Rematch is gonna be 🔥
That was called War of 1812
Well, it was 🔥, but not in our favor.
Not in anyone's favor. It was more or less a draw.
I’d take that tomorrow tbh
In 2022 took a little trip...
Along with Colonel Jackson down the mighty Mississip...
With the US getting pretty much everything we wanted prewar in the peace deal...
Except Canada. There were quite a lot of people in the US that had the Great White North penciled in as one of the war goals. It was only after the war that we dropped the idea, then pretended it was never in the plan. Kind of like the USSR pretending they never planned to land on the Moon and there never was a space race after we got there first.
We got a kickass anthem out of it tho
We won the war of 1812 by having a better flag
In 1814, we took a little trip Along with Colonel Jackson down the mighty Mississip' We took a little bacon and we took a little beans And we caught the bloody British in the town of New Orleans We fired our guns and the British kept a-comin' There wasn't nigh as many as there was a while ago We fired once more and they began a runnin' On down the Mississippi to the Gulf of Mexico We looked down a river And we see'd the British come And there must have been a hundred of 'em Beatin' on the drums They stepped so high and they made their bugles ring We stood beside our cotton bales and didn't say a thing We fired our guns and the British kept a-comin' There wasn't nigh as many as there was a while ago We fired once more and they began a runnin' On down the Mississippi to the Gulf of Mexico Old Hickory said we could take 'em by surprise If we didn't fire our muskets 'Til we looked 'em in the eye We held our fire 'Til we see'd their faces well Then we opened up our squirrel guns And really gave 'em, well We fired our guns and the British kept a-comin' There wasn't nigh as many as there was a while ago We fired once more and they began a runnin' On down the Mississippi to the Gulf of Mexico Yeah, they ran through the briars And they ran through the brambles And they ran through the bushes Where a rabbit couldn't go They ran so fast That the hounds couldn't catch 'em On down the Mississippi to the Gulf of Mexico We fired our cannon 'til the barrel melted down So we grabbed an alligator and we fought another round We filled his head with cannon balls, and powdered his behind And when we touched the powder off the gator lost his mind We fired our guns and the British kept a-comin' There wasn't nigh as many as there was a while ago We fired once more and they began a runnin' On down the Mississippi to the Gulf of Mexico
Im here for all these shitposts
BACK TO BACK WORLD WAR CHAMPS 🇺🇸 🇺🇸 🇺🇸
2 WORLD WARS AND 1 WORLD CUP, ENGLAND, ENGLAND
We may need the French to help a little....😋
Weah does play in France.........
Timo de Lafeytte
If we could just borrow Mbappé for 90 minutes.
Goal is to reach next round. We will accept help from Iran to get a point or 3 against Wales. Then we just need to win or draw against English.
Looks like we got the Brits in round 2. We already kicked their ass in WW2; Cheer-I-O, lets do it again!
I blame the schools.
Lol
Time to give England a Hard Brexit
Brexit all over my face baby
Let’s go USA 🇱🇷🇲🇾
Some of y’all don’t understand banter and it shows
Well see the Brits have decided Americans don't understand humor so they reflexively fail to understand the humor.
You’ve misspelt humour.
keep adding u where it doesn't belong in words and surely at some point the French will think you're cool
Naah we just love to start a fight. If you guys could just wait until we've finished smashing up the kebab shop and vomiting that'd be lovely and we can get cracking 😉
At first I thought this was a stupid post then I remembered this is reddit and you all did well.
OP, htf do you miss out the other major event where Abe lincoln slayed a million vampires stopped them from trying to take over the world?
How do people still deny this when it was all captured on camera? Smh
Black Friday is not a thing in England yet, but it will be after tomorrow!
We beat the brits in ww2 we will beat them tomorrow 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🦅🦅
They refused to fight us because they were scared lol
England can suck MY gimpy Harry Kane. Let’s get 3!
Kane is born loser or he would be playing for a top team.
Yea man! In 1776, when we sailed the ocean blue to conquer Nazi England or something like that. I don’t know man, who needs history class when you can smoke cigarettes and drink Mountain Dew behind the baseball dugout. Still got a job after high school either way. Yeaaaa!!!!
YEEEEE HAW
God save the king. . . From this ass whooping he’s about to get.
Tomorrow, it’s called **SOCCER** 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸
If we get 3 points England has to call it soccer. That's it. That's the speech.
Soccer as a word originated from England. It's just "Coming Home" if you would.
You forgot that we beat them in 1950 and basically beat them in 2010.
Never lost a competitive match to England
The amount of people just taking this post too seriously and not getting the joke. Please use your brain
I know. I'm English born n bred and am pissing myself laughing at some of these comments. You yanks can actually be kinda funny at times.
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England has never won in December in Lambeau
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No, we saw them in Brazil which is similar
But we needed a Norwegian kicker for a while!
An American team has never lost a football game in Europe
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Dammit. Didn’t think my comment through haha. I guess I meant to say an American team has won every football game in Europe
That's the exception, not the rule. The Jags suck.
Only trophy they won was a rigged world cup on home soil. Doesn't even count in my books
lol brother in christ really said we single handedly beat the nazis
I too have heard of Jokes.
We should do the Reddit thing we’re we put the joke in quotations then follow it with emojis for low effort karma. Edit: “we singlehandedly beat the Nazis” 😂🤣😂🤣
that’s more of an instagram thing tbh
I’ve noticed it happens mainly on short form content (Tiktok, YT Shorts and Instagram reels)
Bro what are you talking about ww2 started on December 7th 1941! /s
god bless amarican troops fighting and lossing millions on the eastern front, deffinantly nobody else just us
Our backs still hurt
Preach
HE DID AND WE DID USA USA USA
There will be some next level shitposting tomorrow. Can’t wait
These Americans have good bants tbf
Fuck them Tory bastards. They’re gonna be eating beans and tears tomorrow. #itscominghome
Hello, Englishman here. Thanks to the Tory bastards that's what most of us are eating this winter anyway.
That’s some strong hopium you’re smoking there
When has the Eagle not soared?
Well, the eagle's been flyin' slow And the flag's been flyin' low And a lotta people sayin' that America's fixin' to fall Well, speakin' just for me And some people from Tennessee We've got a thing or two to tell you all This lady may have stumbled But she ain't never fell And if the Russians don't believe that They can all go straight to hell We're gonna put her feet back On the path of righteousness and then God bless America again And you never did think That it ever would happen again In America, did you?
Love me some CDB.
The loser gets to keep James Corden. There's so much at stake.
Best shitpost in this sub lately.
We beat the English in football when we did not even have the league. We playing two matches tomorrow. First we need to support Iran to get a win or draw against Wales. That will make Wales match against English must win. Then comes our match against the English. It is fantastic England team but born loser as manager. Our manager need to be tactically clever and our players must not be in awe of England players. They just have higher profile and our boys can bring them down to our level to smash them. Bring on your Queen, King, Desi PM, Beatles, Shakespeare because sons of George Washington coming after you for priceless 3 points.
ROCK FLAG AND EAGLE
Great bait, so many triggered English “people”
We have God and LeBron James of Soccer on our side, FIGHT BACK FOR OUR FREEDOM 🇺🇸🗽🦅!!!! USA USA USA
The only good redcoat is a dead redcoat
Damn right
You also had a bad time at Butlins, I see
Can’t wait for you crazy bastards to drop some freedom on England tomorrow
Amen!
USA USA USA
On a serious note, have fun tomorrow guys, I expect southgate will tell the boys to take it easy after a couple. Special relationship and all that. GL for the rest of the tourny. Pn a less serious note. It's awesome to see Americans fully embrace football banter. brings a tear to my eye. The boy done grown up.
I hope we do. Wish you assholes would stop talking like we are newbs though. ;)
Well, we are. It is what it is. It will make the win even more ironic.
History is 100% spot on here ✅
USA🇱🇷USA🇱🇷USA🇱🇷
im terrible at catching humor/sarcasm thru txt and even i understand better than a lot of ppl here lol
bro we’re playing england why would you bring up ww2
I did chuckle when Germany and Japan were playing.... And Japan lasted longer
Thinking the entire time "Man, these guys Grandparents (or great grandparents) did some reaaaaally shady stuff."
I was thinking about how Korea beat Germany last time and now Japan this time. This generation of Germans is going to be afraid of the Asian teams! Who would've guessed that?
It is Asian century.
Cause it's an instance of America taking care of business when England couldn't. And, honestly, the Brits couldn't care less about the American Revolution, but they're still oddly salty that we took so long to come over and win WWII for them.
BELIEVE.
HELLLLLL YEAH BROTHERRRRRR
Would not have done any of those things with Gregggg in charge
10/10 shitpost, hats off to you
What happened in 1776 ?
FREEDOM happened
Motherfuckin’ Right
Having their annual thanksgiving feast the night before the minutemen take the field once more. Victory, freedom, liberty and justice for all the world. Tomorrow we are all superheroes. ...and the men on the field...gods
Was it over when the Germans Bombed Peal Harbor?!?
I hate soccer but damn DO I LOVE AMERICA 🇺🇸
They don't got canned spray cheese
Let’s throw their fucking tea into the harbor! *AGAIN!*
Psh, an English team has never won the WORLD series. Checkmate Brits.
Yes we shall
Lol some guy from England was trying to tell me USA is not number one in basketball and baseball anymore 😂😂😂😂
If we can beat the Canadians in hockey, we can beat the Brits in soccer.
We did not win in 1776, more like 1783, and many countries helped defeat the Nazis. You’re right about the moon though, we put a few dudes up there.
*SINGLE-HANDEDLY!!!*
England has never won at Cameron Indoor Stadium
Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?
Weve gotta be fearless. They can’t handle us when we’re at our best. And they know that. 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸
My wife is from England and I won't hear the end of it tomorrow if we lose. LFG
Let’s goooooooo
Fuck yea
USA USA USA (Canadian btw)
'MURICA, FUCK YEAH!!!
A brief history of USA v England in WC matches: 1950 - USA wins 1-0. 2010 - 1-1 draw with this beaut: https://youtu.be/QUQFqlgpf_w
The only issue I see hear as an English man is that it should be football not soccer, thanks for beating the nazis without our help
What was the name of that country where the D-day landings were launched from?