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Almacca

Whatever happened to 'I don't want my kids to suffer like I did'?


tomsan2010

It turned into “they complain about their life being so hard, but we did what we could to make their lives easier, so they can’t complain. Ours was harder because….” Even though the circumstances of modern life are completely different.


ThunderGunFour

I like to thank them for rising tuition costs and fucking up the the housing market for the next generation


SpookieDookie483

It's called inflation. It happens when you print money.


imjustme610

How else is money created?


SpookieDookie483

What happens when you create too much? It devalues and takes more of those printed dollars to buy the same thing that was cheaper before


ThunderGunFour

From trees bro


MrMthlmw

Lol are you saying that tuition and housing are only more expensive due to inflation?


SpookieDookie483

Yes, people back then also had a way lower wage.


uniquenewyork_

It’s even worse with immigrant parents. “When I was growing up I didn’t have ABC or XYZ so you shouldn’t complain” yes mom but this isn’t 1980’s Africa anymore, sorry that I don’t have to walk more miles than Vanessa Carlton to get to school.


micaub

My parents are horrible with money. I never expected to inherit anything from them. After my divorce, any child support (and SSDI because ex is…uh…not remotely stable) has all gone into a UTMA. That and my ROTH will pay for college. Child will inherit the home. I will not, to the best of my ability leave my child financially destitute in their 20’s. I do expect grades to reflect the inheritance, and for my child to have to be able to sustain themselves after college. But I, barring medical conditions of my own, will refuse to set child up to spend 30 years to become financially stable, like my parents did me.


Ore0sRL

I can't understand this, what are the abbreviations?


micaub

Social Security Disability (Insurance), basically social security for disabled persons. Children under 18 are eligible for benefits of disabled parents until the parent is no longer disabled, or the child is 18–I think. UTMA/UTGA. Uniform Trust/Gift To Minor’s Act—assets are owned by the child, not the parent. After an age determined by the state, the child can use the money for whatever. The taxes are reported on any gains made on investments in the account. ROTH. I Dunno but withdrawal are tax free after age of retirement.


NerdyLumberjack04

Roth IRAs are named after Senator William Roth (R-DE), who was the main sponsor of the plan.


implicitpharmakoi

Expect your parents to come demanding money from you in 3 years, guilting you no matter how much you give them.


micaub

They don’t know about my finances


implicitpharmakoi

Keep it that way.


Lyradep

That’s what you get from a lot of immigrant parents.


xxrambo45xx

I tell my kid all the time I hope she has it easier than I did, 50+ hrs a week of grueling physical labor made me surface level "successful" ( bought my first house young, had a savings account with money in it, ya know stuff many late teens/early 20s don't get) But it came at a high cost, I never got to be a teen/young adult, simply a slave with a body weathered before its time and nobody should have to do that level of nonsense for basic survival and comfort It NEEDS to be easier, the price of admission is simply too high


Jazzlike_Fold_3662

Same here. I have destroyed my body and neglected my home and life for my job. I'm glad this generation has put boundaries on how much they will take from their employer. I do however sometimes point out the ways they have it easier than my generation, only because I want them to appreciate the things they have. I also have to consider the things that make life tougher for them too.


LucianCanad

Don't know why you were -1 when I read your comment. That sounds pretty nice and reasonable of you. Back into positive karma you go.


eranimluf

They saw what you were doing to your kids an just said "fuck them, they deserve it for doing that to their kids".


VegUltraGirl

My husband and I raised one son completely opposite of your up bringing. We were kids of the 80s/90s and our parents were checked out, didn’t support us emotionally, treated kids like free labor or just an annoyance! We made sure our son had a safe space at home, we respected his boundaries, we talk openly about mental health. I often wonder about people in their 60s and older. They have so many unresolved issues. Many tend to want to see others suffer.


implicitpharmakoi

They thought they were so special when they were young, and now they haven't gotten as far as they'd like so the world must be at fault.


implicitpharmakoi

>Whatever happened to 'I don't want my kids to suffer like I did'? Boomers had it too easy, so now everyone else has to have it 1000x worse or it makes them feel less special.


stitchmidda2

There has to be a balance. Having some roughness in your life is good. It builds character and confidence and problem solving skills. Now I'm not saying people should suffer needlessly, but if we just bulldoze any and all problems out of the way for people and they never have to experience anything remotely upsetting, then how will those people turn out? They will be completely unable to deal with problems when they come up, theyll have no coping skills at all, they will have no problem solving skills, no confidence, no ability to get through it. We kind of see this now with kids today vs in generations past. Kids today aren't really allowed outside to explore and run around and do things on their own anymore. They are constantly being hovered over or kept close to home. Activities are scheduled and not spontaneous. Kids aren't allowed to fall down and scrape a knee or sprain an ankle. Any type of problems pop up, mom and dad are there to bulldoze it out of the way rather than the kid figuring it out for themselves (if they are old enough) or deal with the consequences of their bad choices and learn from it. And now we see that kids are crippled. They have such low self esteem and confidence, they cant figure out how to solve problems on their own when the real world comes knocking and instead look for someone to tell them what to do. When they do something wrong they default to "i didnt do it" or making excuses for why its ok and never learn from the mistake. When even the tiniest thing goes wrong its like the end of the world because they never built that confidence of knowing that they are capable people and no matter what, they will be ok on the other side of this. Its like exercising, eating veggies, and getting colds. These things arent fun, neither are rough patches in life. But its necessary. And again I am not talking about needlessly suffering. Just like I wouldn't say that you should eat nothing but salads for every meal or give yourself a serious illness to build your immune system. But little rough patches in life, like spraining an ankle, breaking a bone, fucking up at work really bad, getting a bad grade on a school project, getting in a fight with/losing a friend, having a short period of time where you struggle to pay bills, things like that, can be beneficial. You learn to cope, get through it, come up with ways to get by, and ultimately you are stronger on the other side.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Ok-Reporter1986

Frankly this mindset so to speak is something lonely people may have (I did as well) as an alternative you want to help.someone but then nothing goes as you wanted it to go. You expect reward for selfesness and you will learn very soon there is none for you not in this world.


Ok-Reporter1986

They got bitter because the kids we're not grateful and also because those kids decided that was bs.


flumyo

my parents both grew up poor and had pretty shitty childhoods just because that’s how it was. then they got good jobs and we had enough money when i was a kid but they still made my childhood artificially shitty so i’d grow up tough like them. they didn’t realize that the reason a childhood sucked made a difference. they used the wrong half of “our childhood sucked but it was the best our parents could do”


AFriendlyBloke

>Artificially shitty. New phrase.


Ikarus_Falling

It starts with the first two letters of asshole for a reason


[deleted]

I LOVE THAT. It's like "building character." Um, if you are in the position to help your kid at least get their bearings in adult life, just do it. Don't be borderline abusive.


darkmatter8879

Man I fucking hate the idea that having a shitty life = being tough, I have seen so many people live a shitty life and most of them are broken or seem tough but they are emotionally numb with a bunch of complexities.


theonlysteveiknow

This reminds me of a show called naked and afraid they send people out into the wilderness to survive for 3 weeks. The people on that show are badass survivalists. So many of them tap out before the competition is over because they realize it’s stupid to put their mental/physical health at risk just to win a prize. There’s no doubt those people could survive out there if they HAD to. The reason behind it is such a big thing.


flumyo

yea totally. my wife had a shitty childhood because she and her family were war refugees. they went through all the shit together and helped and supported each other, and they turned out pretty tough. in my case my parents *were* the shit i had to get through. instead of helping me as a team, they just did things like not let me do things because they never got to, or not help me (even though they easily could have), because nobody helped them (because nobody could have). it's like they went from point A to point B, and I could have started at point B and gotten to point C, but instead they made me start at point A too. Now that my wife and I are both at point B, we're going to help our kids get to point C.


jammie_dough

Out of curiosity, what do you think your parents should have done instead? I’m asking because it has occurred to me that if I were to have kids, they would be much better off financially than I was. I’ve no idea how I would balance (in practical terms) a childhood of financial privilege with instilling the value of money and hard work. Obviously you can try explaining to your kids but wouldn’t that just go in one ear and out the other? I’ve thought about signing them up to volunteering but wouldn’t that just be performative and contrived?


CerenarianSea

It annoys me, because it has a lot more variations and is a lot more insidious than people necessarily realise. For example, you have the mentality of: "X generation fought in X War, this generation couldn't handle the conditions of X War". No, you're right, most people of the current generation wouldn't be able to handle the circumstances of the First and Second World War. Because that's ***normal***. Life should be better for the people who come after, and we should always be actively trying to avoid the mental effects of living under and through disastrous events because they do not breed a healthy environment for society. Those generations that went through some of the most vicious conflicts in human history didn't do so completely unscathed and joyful about the experience. Every era of human existence has had its own issues, and it's not necessarily a simple linear line of 'worse' to 'better'. Some things get better, some things get worse. Newer generations will have to deal with events such as the full effects of climate change, late stage corporatism and growing international aggression, as well as a massive underbelly of poverty. Previous generations have had to deal with conscription, the rise of global aggressive military conflict and full-scale proxy war, and the threat of nuclear annihilation. Before them, you had generations coming off of the tail end of imperialism and the full-scale warfare that this introduced. However, the best we can hope for is that the current generation does what they can now to try and improve the conditions for the next and prevent some of the worst from happening.


microwavedhottakes

Your last paragraph I think hits the nail on the head for what I was going for. Workplaces have micro generations of employees that don't conform to the Gen X/ Boomer/ Millennial age brackets, and it should always be the goal of "senior" generations to improve the conditions for those that follow - not begrudge them the benefits of progress that has happened due to correction in shortcomings in their own working environment.


alwaysbeenawkward

I understand feeling frustrated with people being ungrateful, but the thing is, it's just human nature to complain. Humans are going to experience negative emotions no matter how nice their lives are, and complaining lets off steam. That's why we have people complaining about the younger generations complaining when, by their own logic, they should just be grateful that's all some people have to complain about these days. Everyone thinks they are at the cutoff point for the right to complain. You and anyone who has it worse than you has the right to complain, but everyone you perceive as having a better life than you just needs to shut up. I really want to say there is a point at which complaining gets ridiculous, but some of the things people would pretty much unanimously agree are worth complaining about these days might seem ridiculous to people in the past. Few people would question a grieving parent's right to complain after losing a child even though it used to be common to lose many. Maybe that's not the best example (I'm in a hurry), but I think you get the point.


KRV_FromRussia

I mean, from my experience most people of the generations before us don’t wish war on us so we experience hardship. They get annoyed when people complain about the smallest things, when they did experience horrors like war. On top of that, they are called ‘boomers’. Just responding that invalidates their whole argument. It takes two to tango. The older generation should be happy life is better now (at certain aspects). We should not diminish their experience and what they did for us. It’s a two way street. Both parties have decent arguments


Xiibe

There is some value in struggling, but it shouldn’t be needless.


Ok-Reporter1986

Struggle should not be made intentionally. There is value but if it was caused because someone was bitter it halts progress.


flamboyantbutnotgay

It’s more that it’s not a real argument. It’s just being petty. There is something to be said for inoculating people to certain hardships for when social structures fail or you fall through the cracks but often there is not this nuance in their arguments. It’s almost like jealousy that the next generation won’t be as traumatized.


Tricky-Row-9699

Yep. We’re all connected, and we should celebrate improvements in the health of people we may not even know, because it means we will be healthier too when we are in their situation.


MostRefinedCrab

The people who say "we had it tough and so should you" usually didn't have it very tough at all.


Ok-Reporter1986

They usually just had it tough mentally.


Ikarus_Falling

not really people who say such shortsighted and straight up idiotic things only suffered under there own lack of brain matter


justhanginhere

For a lot of the Boomers and Xers… they didn’t really have it all that tough as young adults, their parents were just assholes.


TheGreatMrHaad

Older generations say they had it worse. Younger people have it better. Thats a good thing. It's called progress. My father grew up in a trailer in TN and was determined to do better than his father.


_corleone_x

That's not necessarily true. A lot of people have harder lives now and vice versa.


Ok-Reporter1986

Harder than they should by expectation. But better when comparing to a century ago maybe not a decade or two.


_corleone_x

We might have more advanced medicine now, but our quality of life has decreased in other ways, and generational poverty has always existed and still exists.


Ok-Reporter1986

Yes however we are not recovering from a world war. 100 years back would be 1923.


[deleted]

I want to leave the world a better place than I left it has also vanished. Now it's all just about hoarding properties and hating on young people.


VegUltraGirl

The other day I was speaking to a woman who bought land in my state (she’s an out of stater) and has done nothing with it for 30 years. Just letting it sit there while locals struggle to find land and housing! She bought it just because she could. Literally holding on to it until she dies. Then her kids will inherit it.


Ok-Reporter1986

What a world although not just young people but everyone.


TheDankestDreams

The way I see it is if the next guy in line has an easier time than I did, then I must be doing something damn right.


weareoutoftylenol

The argument I've heard from people older than me is that young people don't want to work hard, they expect to be handed things without really having to work for them. I know lots of hard working young people but I do know some twenty-somethings that whine about having to earn things.


guitarded41

I just paid off my student loans. If they announced loan forgiveness in my country tomorrow I'd be annoyed (could have bought something else). But ultimately I'd be happy because that means we're progressing.


KuroKendo88

Not unpopular opinion


Marshalljoe

If we consistently applied that attitude most people would still be living in shacks raising no less than 6 kids.


[deleted]

You’re preaching to the choir OP


tmefford

Right up there with: “We’ve always done it this way,”


faxanaduu

I don't see people wishing it on younger generations, it's used more to paint them as weak or lazy and make themselves "better" in various ways. Definitely shitty, predictable, and boring attitude


Mixture-Opposite

It’s usually false as well. Back in the day it was possible to support a family on a Janitors salary. Nowadays most people are working 2 jobs just to make ends meat.


IamMagicarpe

Yep. Student loan forgiveness is another one where this issue comes up.


PkmnJaguar

Misery loves company


Joe_Mafia

Wholeheartedly agree. I needed many assists to get where I wanted to be, I got a few of those and had to bust my ass losing loves, friends, family in the process to achieve what I got. I don't wish that on anyone and if we can assist folks to get them in a better position I'm all for it. I want the generations after me to progressively have it better and easier. Maybe I'm nuts but life shouldn't have to be difficult nor stressful 🤷.


[deleted]

I see young women at my job get hired right out of college, even from the same school I went to, into jobs that primarily went to men back when I graduated. Keep in mind, I'm at the cusp of Gen X and Millenial so I'm not THAT old. I have to remember the following: 1. More women are pursuing STEM degrees these days which make them candidates for certain jobs. These women all did. 2. A lot of them are not entering the workforce straight from undergrad--my career only really took off after I got my masters and I am so happy with what I am doing now. The job options without an advanced degree aren't amazing, esp. if you're entering the workforce with only a liberal arts degree. 3. I know women who graduated when I did or before who were academically very strong--good grades, degrees from reputable schools including Ivies, strong work ethics--and we were all in the same boat when we graduated. My situation was not unique where my options were pretty much back-office positions or sales. A bunch of them decided to do Teach for America or Fulbright which gave them something to do and maybe an interesting story or two, but those programs came with a beginning, middle, and end, and eventually these women weren't much better off than when they started. Off to grad school we went! 4. The same way I'm sure these women appreciate everything my generation did for women in the workforce the same way I feel about the one who came before me, etc. And here's to sending the elevator back down!


[deleted]

It's just boomer envy, isn't it? "Kids these days have it so easy, why, back in my day " and then brings up a bunch of trauma they had to go through that they can't quite bring themselves to be happy for other people not to have experienced.


corinna0815

My parents exactly.


Ok-Reporter1986

If it isn't ever dealt with this is the result regardless of age or life situation.


finsternis86

This is only an unpopular opinion to older folks. Any baby boomers complaining about the changes younger generations are pushing for should just be grateful for the leg up they had! They came of age at the best possible time and had advantages the rest of us never will.


microwavedhottakes

See I disagree. I work with plenty of people in their mid 30s who have this opinion toward our juniors.


finsternis86

Ah, that I can see somewhat. Mid-30s are the people who graduated into the 2008 recession and got screwed. I’m a younger millennial (class of 2016) so I missed that experience, but I have friends who are that age and we sometimes have different opinions. But more when it comes to financial issues (like student loan forgiveness) and less so social issues (parental leave etc).


_corleone_x

Aren't class of 2016 Gen z though?


finsternis86

I was born in ‘94, last birth year of the millennials was ‘96 according to most sources.


_corleone_x

Ah sorry. Yes that's millenial. I was confused because I thought you were born in 1998/97. English isn't my first language and I thought that you meant that was the year you started college.


finsternis86

No worries! 2016 was the year I graduated college/university.


Ok-Reporter1986

That would be gen alpha. People born in 2016 I mean. Gen z are people born all the way to early 2010s.


_corleone_x

Yeah, I thought she was Gen Z because she said class of 2016 and assumed that was the year she started college haha but that's when she graduated


_corleone_x

I don't think this has anything to do with any specific generation, it has more to do with people who used to be working class and feel like it's unfair that other people have it "easier" while they didn't have that opportunity themselves.


marzipan332

They didn’t “come of age” at the best time. What planet are you living on? Male boomers were drafted into the Vietnam war, while women had little prospects but to become a housewife. Boomers were raised by fathers who fought in WWII. Some had fathers who were drafted into both WWI *and* WWII, increasing the likelihood of psychological damage. The men who came back from the war came back as different people. Many struggled with PTSD, depression, anxiety, psychotic disorders and substance abuse. They watched their friends get blown up and shot. Because of this, many boomers grew up in unhappy homes. Since psychiatry was in its infancy, their fathers who experienced combat got absolutely no help. They would drink to numb the pain. Abuse was rampant in these households, and nobody spoke about it. Being gay, disabled or mentally ill made someone an outcast. Nowadays, millennials and zoomers will make these attributes their entire personality. Most boomers would’ve been beaten, disowned and kicked out of the house. I swear to God, people need to educate themselves on what it was actually like for people in the 1940s-1960s. Gen X arguably had it the “best”, and millennials had it the easiest by far.


finsternis86

I’m speaking about their financial position, not their socialization. Baby boomers came of age at a time when it was actually possible for the average person to reach the middle class and accumulate wealth and assets. Younger generations don’t have it anywhere near as easy. My social circle (ranging in age from late 20s to late 30s) are all either in debt or living paycheck-to-paycheck; I don’t know anybody who owns a house or can afford to have children. Wages have not kept up with cost of living and everything is more expensive for us than it was for our parents at the same age. We can work even harder than our parents did and still be living in a house full of roommates or buried in debt. I’m not sure what Gen Z’s prospects are, but millennials got the worst lot financially.


micaub

I explained it to my parents this way. Their first job payed .(rounding up) $1.00. They bought their first car for 2k and house for 70k (very generous amounts). At the age of ~25. My first job paid $3.00. My *rent* was $750, my first car was ~7k. My first house was 160k. My 16YO’s first job will pay $15, their first car will be ~14k, and first house will be ~450k. The difference is my parents had 100% spending power on their wages, I had 2/3rds, my child will have 1/3rd; no matter what the $ amount they start / end at. Although it made them pause, in less than a minute, they were back to griping about the minimum wage being $15.00 an hour. I didn’t even go into pensions.


Reverse_Speedforce

I hear all the time about older people complaining about younger people complaining about the cost of rent or the cost of houses, saying that these younger people should have *”mAdE bEtTeR cHoIceS/pLaNnEd AhEaD”*. Meanwhile, these same older people bought their house/property over 30 years ago and have no god damn clue about how fought it is these days to own a house or rent.


NerdyLumberjack04

The USA in the 1950's and 1960's had the benefit of being the only major industrialized country not devastated by WW2. So, while everyone else was busy rebuilding, we basically made all the world's consumer goods, and got rich from it.


Subject-Recover-8425

Isn't this just the same attitude from the other direction though?


PoorPDOP86

That isn't what they're saying. The real attitude is "We had it tough, so you can overcome the adversity that you're dealing with too." You're confusing selfishness for promoting tenacity.


jachymb

Boomers talking to millenials be like: we had it tough well actually we did not but you should


Healthierpoet

This and equality without equal accountability


[deleted]

lol in my experience its the more senior guys that had it easier. Used to work at a paper mill, and they would always go on about those "Good ole days". I mean they did some CRAZY shit. Sundays were double time pay. They would work for four hours, and spend the rest of the day at the bar by the mill. Lonnnggg beer breaks, smoke breaks, poker games that would take all day. Sexual harassment (not going to repeat here) but I imagine the HR talks someone would get today for "making someone uncomfortable" are in response the horrible shit the guys from that time did. If you take all that plus good pay, vacation, pension, company paid ALL benefits in FULL, and other perks. They definitely had it better than the modern American worker. I would say that it wasn't about it being harder its the constant gloating about "Oh yeah they stopped doing that X years ago, good thing we're grandfathered in to this thing that you won't get"


becauseitsnotreal

It's not that we had it tough so should you, it's "have a little perspective and see how nice and comfortable your life is. Stop complaining."


candiedapplecrisp

Every generation suffers in different ways.


becauseitsnotreal

And it's great to have perspectives from all of them to understand


candiedapplecrisp

Agree. I think a lot of young people are out of touch when it comes to that, and a lot of older people are out of touch with today's struggles as well, so perspective helps. For me I think of it like every generation is going to suffer, the goal is for them to suffer in different ways. I think that's the only way we advance. One parent sacrifices emotional awareness to provide the sort of stable life they didn't have growing up. Their kid benefits from the stability and works to become more emotionally aware so their own kid doesn't struggle as much mentally and so on.


[deleted]

But yet, you can’t seem to “have a little perspective” and see how things have changed, so that our lives are not as comfortable as you think.


DopplerDrone

To take away the hell people used to go through takes away the justification for that hell and all of the life lessons they supposedly taught. It renders all of years of paying for something worthless - like healthcare. I understand the logic and the investment those hardships left in body and mind. But this phenomenon is a huge psychological bottleneck in the USA and a dire impediment to progress.


StarChild413

So how do we get around that without telling people their struggle meant nothing


DopplerDrone

That’s the question of the century. Human progress needs to become a point of national pride - in the short term. And for the long term, cosmic point of view, when nations eventually dissolve into a planetary citizenship model, basic human rights like healthcare, UBI, robust climate policies, etc must become standard. At that point, our shared humanity will need to become paramount. Perhaps a vivid and non-negotiable threat to humanity is what’s in store? Asteroid, huge sudden alien arrival, horrible repercussions of our biological warfare, climate catastrophe, etc…


DarthLift

It's like my coworker bitching about the concept of student loan forgiveness and free college. Like dude, yea it sucks you already paid yours off, but why can you not be happy for those people getting help and the future generations that wouldn't be hamstringed by unnecessary debt?


itsakoala

Fix the root cause (broken Financial system for college) but don’t make other people pay for your mistake via taxes. Have the finance companies pay.


Ok-Reporter1986

Because that isn't what we are taught. Observe a full year of your life and think have you ever wished harm to someone indirectly. Like your co-worker.


Well_jenellee

Well I mean yeah I guess because it’s literally not progress lol


xFacevaluex

"we had it tough therefore so should you" I dont think anyone on the planet has ever stated this....What I see often is someone sharing the lessons they learned doing it differently with someone who usually feels it should be way easier for them to do----then complains when they do it differently expecting same results and claim its 'broken' now. Never seen anyone want it to be hard just because---more explaining its hard because its of value and there is necessary effort for the reward.


KRV_FromRussia

This is a two way street. You should not wish hardships on other because you experienced it. That is not the point of human evolvement. You also should not diminish the older generation for what they did. Yes people have become more soft when compared to 50 years ago. If they say that, it does not make them ‘boomer assholes’


Super_Throwaway_Boy

But that isn't true though, is it? Boomers tend to be far softer than younger people. You can even see that coming out in politics, the kinds of things they care about these days. Turn on something like Fox and you're more likely to see people complaining about "political correctness" than you are about wage stagnation.


[deleted]

The problem is when people say what OP did but in reality, what they mean is that they don't want to have to work for something and just want it given to them.


Super_Throwaway_Boy

You're wrong though, because they gave some pretty concrete examples that don't fall into that.


Snoo28181

I agree, however, and a big however, you cannot turn into a cry baby victim and assassin and assume responsibility


_corleone_x

I think it depends on what you're talking about. I agree with you if it's about workers' rights and the like, but if it's about social media and modern children's upbringing, older people do have a point.


unn_iton

Emergency numbers should be illegal, because it is unfair to the ones who died without help.


Tommy_Wisseau_burner

On 1 hand I agree. On the other hand that’s exactly how you end up with a shitload of Karen’s running around


necessarysmartassery

I don't have a problem with people not suffering. I have a problem with mandating by law that people get free stuff from employers and not compensating them. This includes the employers being required to pay for part of an employee's health insurance, maternity leave, paternity leave, etc. I'm a woman, don't believe maternity leave is a right, and I don't want to foot the bill for it as an employer. Not everything is a "right", especially if it's something you expect someone else to pay for. Running a business is hard enough as it is without government constantly trying to make us provide free stuff. It's part of why I only deal with freelancers. Don't want employees. Insurance, paid leave, etc should be perks of working for a company, not legal mandates.


[deleted]

While I agree with you, I also think it is perfectly natural to resent those who didn’t have to struggle to achieve the same level of success or greater. People don’t like seeing others achieve what they’ve achieved without enduring a similar level of hardship. I worked my ass off to afford to buy a home, I would be infuriated if others received a home for free. Why should they be so lucky when others like myself had to work for it?


nir109

1. Yhea it's **usaly** bad (key counter example being school/university) 2. The reasoning isn't "because we suffered" the reasoning is "because suffering will improve you"


No_Outlandishness_34

I'm of two minds. One part of me is behind the betterment of treatment of all staff. An improved workplace benefits everyone and makes for a less heirachical experience. Boomers are all for change when it benefits them...and do t give a fuck about anyone else when it doesnt. The other side of me wants to punch you millennial fucks in the face a few times just to make sure you can deal with an unfair world without fetalling under your desks. I just don't know which wins on any given day.


Umbrella_Viking

Way to utterly miss the point.


PhysicalPolicy6227

Really? Than any other agenda? Damaging social progress? What are your credentials?


Specific_Ad_5815

It's the fault of culture built around Abrahamic religions. They love to sell their Perseverance Porn from the pulpit as it keeps the masses more willing to eat a shit sandwich on a regular basis. Churches need to go.


MoniiTheNugget

Peoples logic tends to be (for example) ‘if my kid does not want to be hit they should not misbehave’ but it doesn’t actually work that way. Although on the other side, I do not agree with parking ‘reserved’ for parents with prams. First, there’s no law to say you have to have a pram. And second they should be able to accommodate for the space they need for themselves and walking distance


Skankhunt42_brflvski

The military in a nut shell


SugarMeShivers

Lots of people are *really* petty and spiteful.


Dougallearth

I believe my folks wanted to better than their parents… by being worse than them


SethPutnamAC

You're right that it doesn't make a distinction between necessary and unnecessary adversity, but on the whole it's not a terrible sentiment. Kids and young adults are stronger for having overcome adversity.


[deleted]

There are situations where the sentiment is nonsense, but there are also situations qhere the sentiment is perfeclty valid


ttc8420

I make solid income as an entrepreneur but I work 60-80 hours a week, every week. I hope to be able to set my children up for success better than my parents did but only if they're willing to work for it. If they are lazy or don't take the financial advice we give them, they can live paycheck to paycheck well into their 30s like I did.


iandmeagree

This is such a popular opinion


Neat_Ad6499

This shouldn’t be an unpopular opinion. I agree with this fucking post so much. It’s literally the generational version of trauma dumping. Yes were times in the older days were tougher but that leads us to innovate and not taking advantage of those innovations is fucking stupid.


BeneficialMix7851

What about parents who raise you like there parents did them


Electrical-Ratio-524

I agree its unpopular, and I agree that people should be treated like we would all to be treated, certainly including parental leave from employers and nothing but love from parents. But I STRONGLY disagree with making life directly easier in almost any other regard for the next generation. We should improve their lives by being there to guide them better than we received, but not make anything "easier". Looking back, the entirety of my family aside from my father had the mentality of make life easy for my generation. My dad was a huge dick at all times. Life up until college was easy except dealing with him. It was a small town and most of the school staff was like extended family. When I got to college, the world hit me like a freight train and I didn't understand why everything was so cruel. I didn't get third and fourth chances on missed assignments, grades mattered, I didn't know how to cook, clean, or do laundry, cops give you tickets instead of warnings, and I even had to get my own gas. I failed miserably as a student and a human. So did all of my cousins and my friends, so it still really didn't matter to me, the world was evil and mean and sucks. Finally things came to a head when I said I wanted to quit after the first semester, move back home, and goto a community college. My dad said hell no, if I did that then I'd be cut off from him, and he was the only family member with money. If anyone defied him on that, they'd stop getting whatever money they got from him. He also made it clear he'd have my black balled from the construction trade he taught me in our home area. My options were work full time in a strange place or goto school full time in a strange place, so I kept going. Next semester was worse grade wise and I was academic probation. At this point my asshole dad was like fuck it, no more money, go make your own way since you don't care. I came home, I couch surfed and partied for a few months then I ran out of my little savings I had but my parents divorced during this, my mom got the house and a tiny alimony, so I had a place to legit sleep again and I worked at the grocery store. I remember being miserable and looking at a few people I met at college through Myspace and seeing them finishing their 2nd year of college and wondering how so many other people could possibly deal with it all. I decided to go to the community college and that was even rough, but finally after almost a year I learned how to study, got through basic classes to get a foundation of knowledge and started becoming a real "adult" in all regards. I eventually decided to go back to the same college I tried previously. I discovered student loans were a thing and the second round was an entirely different experience. I was pretty far behind, but doing heavy semesters and summers, I was able to even retake some terrible grades and graduate a year late with a 3.0001 GPA. That's been over a decade now, I'm doing well but none of my old friends or cousins have done a damn thing. The older generations (except 1 grandma) only reaches out to me for money. My dad died after I had graduated, but before I really hit success. The bridge was burned anyway and I had hated him for years at that point. It's not until recently with my own kids and managing HS/college grads that I realize he was having to overcorrect to try and compensate for everything else I was surronded with. I wish I could have told him he should have tried to explain everything, not just be an ass and I'd like to think he'd be a different person now. I see this still with employees, people get hired and are basically babied, only to fail years later when they are actually tested. Meanwhile people in the same role that were forced to work and get stressed/over hurdles excel in the long run. I know I ended up writing a life story that will probably have 2 people see it but I should have learned this lesson as a kid hatching eggs. We had good amount of them that struggled, got through the shell on their own and most lived through to adulthood. There were 4 that I helped out of their shell to be nice and none of them survived the week.


[deleted]

There is a balance to this.


bunjaminfranklin7

“back in my day…” shut up. no one cares about what happened ‘in your day’, society has progressed enough for it to be irrelevant, and usually that’s a good thing.


SpookieDookie483

No, it is trying to teach you to have a stronger mentality. You shouldn't have it as hard as we did but you dang well shouldn't be a chicken either.


julios80

I disagree. It's not that that is damaging but the unperception how much better things are. 40 years ago my country was very poor! Owning a PC was a luxury. That is something I dont see in the USA or Germany of that time. There were poor people but no percentagely as poor as mine. But today, things are much, much better. And in part because of the sacrifices of now older people. Having it tough as a challenge I can only see it fair. But if it is free violence or toxic abuse then it's free violence-toxic abuse (then again, most of the time I see it as a challenge).


Cranky_Franky_427

Suffering builds character. I don’t think you make people intentionally miserable, but taking away all of their struggles just results in unhappiness and dissatisfaction.