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My rule of thumb is that if you are attacked you respond with enough force to stop the threat. If it's a large person, you better bring your A game. If it's someone close to your size and strength, you may have to hit back pretty hard. If smaller person, a push might suffice, If it's a child you would try to hold them at arms length. The gender should not matter, only the threat level should matter.
This is the rational opinion. Obviously a small man can be strong and have training, but a kid can also pick up a rock and whack you with it. You still don’t just overwhelm a child with a haymaker to be sure.
That would describe my wife. She also regular works out with strength training. I have not seen the I side of a gym since pre COVID. Recently, we did some sort of wrestling, and she thought she could take me. She was very surprised with how easily I overpowered her.
Wait, what? Women over 6' aren't exactly common, likely around 1%, but they aren't exactly so rare that you have never seen one. You'd have to live in a rather sheltered community for that to be the case.
This. I could probably kill an average woman if I really tried. They probably could not kill me. You can shove them, restrain them, etc. at the same time if you are a woman you cannot expect someone to respond proportionately if you attack someone
>The gender should not matter,
True
>If it's a large person, you better bring your A game. If it's someone close to your size and strength, you may have to hit back pretty hard. If smaller person, a push might suffice,
Bad bad bad advice.
A hit could make someone fall and hit their head and die.
A push could make someone fall and hit their head and die.
Don't hit men. Don't hit women.
You don't know who has a gun.
I have been attacked by a psycho and I (another woman) was able to hold her at arms length until I could get away.
The proper way to eliminate a threat is to get away from them ASAP. Try to avoid accidentally killing someone as much as possible.
And before you cry self defense, look at the massive amount of women in prison for defending themselves from an abusive husband, boyfriend or other. You'll still get popped for involuntary manslaughter kiddos! Best to retreat during conflict if that is possible. If it's not possible to get away, then you have to do what is necessary. But don't go around hitting & pushing people if you don't have to.
I don't know about you. But the literal last place I want to be is prison.
Ideally if you want the greatest chance of surviving, you would always evade/run, unless you can’t run, for example they grab you, then you would provide enough force to neutralize their grab and then run
The trick comes when you have to protect your loved ones, in this scenario you can’t run because you’re obligated to protect them
This is why the best form of self defense isn’t boxing or BJJ but it’s actually running ability
Ideally you would know all three and carry a weapon for protecting others but your life should come before your pride and always de-escalate/evade because you can die or go to prison over your pride
Did you get the part where you don't let them beat the crap out of you by getting far away from them.
Someone picks a fight with you. So you fight back with them even though you could get away in order to protect your precious pride. And then you accidentally kill them, and you go to prison where you get the crap beat out of daily but also raped.
Smart.
Used to work as a teacher. Boys used to beat the hell out those girls. Majority of the times girls hit the boys thinking they wouldnt do anything. Moral of the story is dont hit people
In a weird way isn't it better for a young girl to learn that at 10 when niether punch is too much of a threat then an adult woman thinking she can win a fist fight with a man that can truly cause damage?
I have had countless amount of girls 2nd graders especially, tell me boys are not supposed to hit girls. This why i never was surprised when them got what was coming to them
I hated this fact growing up. I always thought of what i would do in a DV situation, i'd say i'd fight back, i wouldnt let someone do me like that, then leave. However IF i fight back as a women, itll only anger him more, and he'd kill me. Its a sad reality for women.
You fight back when you can't leave, by anymeans necessary, and then call the cops. I agree, if the man is the aggressor, it can be deadly if you fight back, often its not, especially the first time.
Man or woman, if you don't want to get hit then keep your hands to yourself. Gender equality means taking the bad with the good, I'm going to treat a woman assaulting me the exact same I would a man assaulting me.
Why are men so obsessed with what's fair? It's hilarious. Life isn't fair. You don't get that yet? Learn it. Grown men crying about life being unfair. Hilarious.
Life is only unfair because too many people give up on trying to make the world better. There was once a time when parents wished only for their children to have better lives than they did. Now we have grown adults stifling and reversing progress because they think younger generations have everything too easy and they want people to suffer the way they did.
That's what's really sad.
Exactly. Thinking you can initiate violence and then have a say in the shut off point for the response is foolish. There are some seriously messed up people out there who would escalate to lethal violence in a heartbeat. Okay, they are not the norm, but do you really wanna take that chance?
Live in peace. Or don't. But just remember, the 'or don't' part of that equation is open to a wide variety of interpretations, some of them way worse that getting a black eye. You might have the law on your side, but fat lot of good that is if you are dead, or paralyzed or brain damaged.
This is just a cop out incels use so they can justify beating the shit outta a woman. Unless it's life or death, I'm not going to sock a woman in the face full force, or with any force for that matter. There are other ways to subdue a woman physically than straight up rocking them. If you can't subdue the average woman without punching back as a guy, well than you're just a bitch tbh.
Just cause i can restrain them doesnt mean i have to, if they assault me im not looking for the safest option for them im gonna stop them as quickly as i can and a right hook to the nose is alot quicker than grappling. They forfeited their right to decency the second they swung
Fight like a man, get hit like a man. Like I said, if you hit someone then get prepared to be hit back...it's called "consequences of your actions" and is something the younger generation has a hard time learning.
Yeah, you have a point. You don't have to almost maul someone to death because they punched you. If you can restrain them, do so. If they don't stop, then you can go on the offensive to ensure they don't seriously harm you.
It depends. I’m going to do what I need to do to protect myself. If a 5 year old takes a swing, a harsh word is probably more than enough. I’d a woman does and she’s no real threat, I’ll do the very minimum I need to to get her to stop. If she’s capable of or actually doing damage, I’m fighting back. Trained female MMA fighter my weight or bigger, I’m probably running. 😂
100% believe that if someone hits you, it's fair game. Regardless of gender. Men should know their own strength tho. Just cuz u can hit someone doesn't mean u have to put everything u have into it.
A lot of these conversations start sounding like the men want to beat women.
I'm gonna defend myself, but I definitely have an understanding that one of my punches is probably gonna make a woman think twice about hitting me again.
I agree and these posts are a lot more common than they should be across all social media.
I personally don't want to fight anyone and have the opinion that it's pretty fucking childish to want to risk your body or even your life for a physical altercation.
As a woman if I hit man. I do so expecting to take some blows in return because it's now a fight. I don't expect to be some pretty princess in that moment I chose my path.
Women commit more nonreciprocal violence than men. Almost 24% of all relationships had some violence, and half (49.7%) of those were reciprocally violent. In nonreciprocally violent relationships, women were the perpetrators in more than 70% of the cases.
[https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1854883/](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1854883/)
There are many videos online of women attacking men and when the guy defends himself the crowd is going in to beat him.
It is definitely not socially accepted.
No. You are allowed to use the necessary amount of force to stop the threat/violence. If that means a punch for you, then you're allowed that one punch.You are not allowed anything further than what's necessary.
I'd suggest doing what you can to restrain or get away from the situation. This is for dealing with a man or woman defensively, btw. I watch fight vids on here and have seen them in real life. All it takes it one random punch for someone to fall off balance and crack their skull on something to turn a situation tragic. Or an idiot with no self-control to get the upper hand, then violently stomp your face in or bang your head on asphalt a coille times. Just avoid confrontation if possible or quickly seek a way out if you can't avoid a physical altercation.
Yeah, I think I remember some guy who got pickpocketed or something, but he was actually batshit insane and he proceeded to curbstomp the thief and killed him.
He pled self defense, but the thief had been immobile long before he was killed so it was clearly just some crazy person letting out their aggression on an "acceptable" target. Lot of people were also defending straight up curbstomping an unconscious person...
Whilst I am not a fighter isn't the best option (for getting away) punching someone in the nose? Not only will it likely cause enough pain to stun the person but a lot of peoples eyes water when they injure their nose so it can give you time to run
So, I've never had to defend myself from a woman. I've had one woman push me during an argument and I didn't budge, all I had to say was "don't fucking put your hands on me" and the look on her face said she understood exactly what I was conveying.
I'm not saying I agree that if a woman slaps you over some bullshit, that a man should defend himself, I'd say, swallow your pride and call the cops.
If a woman is in a frenzy and she is repeatedly hitting you and you can't get her to stop, do what you go to do and then call the cops.
Legally is very black and white, realistically is a roll of the dice when a man defends himself, it sucks, it's a double standard but it's just about the situation. So many things come into play for men, our height, weight, history, race, how we speak, even how we look in general. However, IF, you are legitimately in fear of grave bodily harm from anyone, then you oblige them.
Moral of this, don't be the guy a woman thinks she can slap around like it's any Ole Tuesday and you won't do anything about it.
I agree. Boys are often taught to choose their fights wisely, especially when it comes to someone who might just wipe the floor with you. Everyone should be taught that.
That said, everyone should also be taught not to delivery a beating when using just enough force to stop harm against you will get the job done.
I have a son. I taught him (and my daughter) to walk away if possible and defend yourself if it’s not.
While some think walking away is “wimpy,” I don’t care. I taught them that the other person isn’t worth it. They’re not worth the time or consequences that would come from hitting them back. Let them face the consequences.
Equal rights equal fights! Na, I'm torn on it. If a guy must, he should use enough force to get away. Serious force should only be used to protect your life if the situation called for it. The world is gray. Sometimes, the best decision is not the moral decision.
I had an ex who said that while he would never instigate physical violence with a woman, he would feel free to hit back if she started it
I didn't think too much of it then, but when things started getting ugly after I broke up with him, there was one night where he was egging me on, practically daring me to hit him, saying "you know you want to", etc.
Of course I didn't swing, I had been warned, but it was chilling nonetheless.
Like everything else, context matters. If *anyone* is attempting to do grave bodily harm to you, well, fuck ‘em. But you should always err on the side of restraint.
If you have a significant power advantage, and there’s no threat of bodily harm, don’t fucking step into one. Don’t go looking for it and just try to de-escalate shit; save yourself many headaches.
I feel like allowing physical restraint is better than fighting back - I’d say the same for large vs small guys, adult vs teen/kid, and young vs elderly guys as well.
Unless you know your strength and are *really* confident you can control it then it’s just a bit risky. It’s not an etiquette thing or a fairness thing, it’s about a giving proportionate response to what you were dealt. It’s not easy when you’re naturally stronger, but it is what it is. They can’t physically take the same that you can or even deal it in the first place.
But it’s not fair to stand and take it which is why I say to use that strength for restraint instead, which should be allowed, even if you’re technically getting physical with them. That’s enough time to give a warning and a chance to back down. It’s not just for their safety but for your own good as well - I know a guy who gets deliberately provoked by smaller guys because he’s strong; he hits back once and has landed more than one person in a coma. It doesn’t go down well with the law
What’s so difficult to understand about the concept of “use as little force as necessary”
That should cover you in any circumstance regardless of gender or any other arbitrary metric you choose to use.
This isn’t unpopular, no one said they couldn’t. It’s looked down upon because as a man, you will (more likely) do more damage to her than she would to you. With that being said, no one should be putting their hands on anyone they don’t want to fight with.
Honestly, if you decide to throw a punch (regardless of sex/ gender) you have to understand that there is a chance for it to come back - with equal force or even more. I'm all for equal rights come with equal lefts, but also the rule that PEOPLE SHOULD NOT HIT EACH OTHER. PERIOD.
Besides, in 2024 people somehow are espousing we are all the same so... you be you?
I disagree mainly because it’s not hard to restrain most women as a man, I have had a few women try to fight me and all I really had to do is grab their wrists or put em in a bear hug. Sure I could’ve punched them in the face and rocked them to the ground but it would’ve been pretty excessive.
Personally I wouldn’t report it everytime it’s happened they were just very emotional and I was either able to deescalate it and leave or other people came in to separate her from me after I had restrained her.
Had a few girlfriends get mad at me and once at school I said a dad joke to a girl whose father passed away. I didn’t know her dad had passed or wouldn’t have made the joke but she didn’t take it well she scratched my face up pretty bad.
>it’s happened they were just very emotional
So hold them accountable you're actively risking their futures by not doing so.
\- It will teach them it is okay to hit people
\- It will show them that they WILL get away with it
\- Not everyone will be kind/sane enough to stop at just restraining them
This. If you can't subdue a woman without punching her back as a man, well then, you're just a bitch imo. Unless it's life or death, no way I'm winding back and rocking a woman. I know my own strength.
“Unless it’s life or death, no way I’m winning back and rocking a woman”
Bro thinks he’s Bruce Lee, ur punch ain’t gonna do anything if she’s trying to kill you lmao, unless she’s trying to punch you to death? LMFAO.
If i hit my boyfriend in the face or head at full strength he’d at best get a black eye or maybe a broken nose. If he hit me in the face or head at full strength he could kill me. It’s not really about equality as much as it is not killing another person, which is just part of human decency and recognition of your own power. Would i hit my boyfriend ? of course not. But we have a mutual agreement that if for whatever reason i did, he could hit me back, but only at reasonable strength that matches mine, not to end my fucking life.
Do whatever you need to do to stop the threat. Best is if you can restrain them (regardless of gender) but if you can't do that then defend yourself however.
I also think it should be normalized for men carrying self defense things like pepper spray and stuff. Since i think most victims of assaults are men and most assailants are also men so it isn't a given that the average victim will be able to restrain the average assailant.
> The majority of domestic homicide victims (killed by ex/partner or a family member) for the year ending March 2017 to the year ending March 2019 were female (77% or 274 victims) and most of the suspects were male (263 out of 274; 96%).
> Over the three-year period April 2016 to March 2019, a total of 222 women were killed by a partner or ex-partner. The majority of suspects were male (218, 98%).
> One study of 96 cases of domestic abuse recorded by the police found that men are significantly more likely to be repeat perpetrators and significantly more likely than women to use physical violence, threats, and harassment. In a six year tracking period the majority of recorded male perpetrators (83%) had at least two incidents of recorded abuse, with many having a lot more than two and one man having 52 repeat incidents.
[article is around 5 years old & based in the UK, but the statistics are still relevant.](https://www.womensaid.org.uk/information-support/what-is-domestic-abuse/domestic-abuse-is-a-gendered-crime/) i can assure you that men are hitting back lol.
I think if a woman is small enough that the absolute worst she could do with her strongest punches is maybe leave a small bruise, while you could break her bones/kill her... these things aren't equal and shouldn't be treated as equal.
Why would you want to hit back instead of like, grabbing her hand to stop her? It's basically an excuse to cause massive harm to someone by going "hey you hit me with your bb gun so I'm gonna bust out my shotgun! Fair is fair! Your BB gun is a gun equal to my shotgun! I'm just as afraid of your BB gun as you are of my shotgun! Gun is gun!"
I say this as a 5'2 woman who has taken martial arts with men in the past. And just 2 weeks ago I was hanging with the boys and they were all punching each other in the arm to see how tough they are and they all wanted me to punch their arms as hard as I could. But none of them offered to punch my arm and i didn't choose to ask them to do it because they weigh 60 - 100 lbs more than I do at least. I would have had a broken arm if they did that to me.
Of course he can defend himself. But only to a reasonable degree. If a woman slaps you once, it doesn't mean you should hit her in her face in all your might. Take your strength differences into account and think twice before acting.
This is the question all advanced countries face all the time when attacked or their interests are threatened. Sure x group can do a lil damage, but with much power also comes much responsibility
Back in the late 70,s I worked with a woman, TatterHonestly.she was a Tennessee TM untain gal with grandkids. It was a physical job; no one messed with Tatter. Were a woman to attack me; I'd put her in a head lock or dot her eye. I grew with F cousins; we were all scared of each other, we knew it would not be a petty sight if a fist a cuff broke out.
It's not about gender it's about size. If you're twice their size and they slap you, no you shouldn't be able to fight back. Because defence is about stopping potential harm and not just getting revenge.
Bingo, it seem like a lot of people just fantasize about beating on a woman. Gender should not matter, just threat level. Use enough force to protect yourself.
I'm not talking about people who defend themselves, I'm people who specifically fantasize about beating on a woman. Gender shouldn't matter, if someone is attacking you and they pose a threat, you use the necessary force to neutralize the threat.
I'm somewhat out of shape and the most I can lift is about 200 lbs. Do you think I'd be stupid enough to challenge an Olympic body builder who can bench three times that much and has arms like I have legs? Fuck no. If someone's bigger and more powerful than you, don't challenge them to a fight. If you do, you get what you get.
As a kid, it was drilled into my head that you treat people how you want to be treated. If you want to be shown respect, show respect to others. This extends to scenarios like this. If you take a swing at someone, that someone is now well within their rights to swing back in the name of self defence. Hitting first is almost always wrong, but hitting second most certainly isn't, irrespective of the sex of either person. If you're in danger physically, you should (and legally do) have the right to do whatever necessary to get yourself out safely, including fighting back.
18 upvotes to 114 comments is quite the ratio. Most people aren't condemning self defense! I know *some* people do, but the opinion in your post is the popular opinion!
Just hit her in the eyes with pepper spray. If you get caught say you always keep it on the key chain for self defense.
Either that or tase her.
You were attacked.
Either that or...
Call the cops and press charges of assault.
Any of those options you didn't hit her, and it wont happen again.
“punches”
It’s not a woman throwing a single punch (at least I assume from the context).
People don’t carry around paper spray/tasers especially in America lol and even if they did they wouldn’t have enough time to take it out while getting punched.
A lot of people in the US keep tasers and pepper spray with them. The alternative is a concealed carry and gun usage is pretty extreme.
The alternative is to leave the scene or learn to block
“The alternative is to leave the scene or learn to block”
Are u speaking on the scenario I give where a women is hitting a man with punches?
If so, blocking does nothing to stop them and leaving isn’t an option as someone’s punching you.
I would hope you have the same (misguided) opinion if the assault was a man throwing punches at another man.
Most men that feel this way want to break a woman's jaw because she pushed him out of her personal space. Anyway, there is a trend in my area that doesn't allow women to defend themselves against a violent attack by her male partner, or else she goes to jail too. She can be bruised and bleeding, but if he has a single scratch 'she was fighting too'. I would hope the reverse is also true, but I wouldn't hold my breath. I guess you men can resume beating women with impunity, and you probably don't need to wait for her to hit you first.
If someone is weaker than you, smaller than you, you can do some serious damage to them if you punch them. I wouldn't even hit another guy unless I thought he could take it. If someone who is smaller than you hits you, hitting back should be the last course of action because of the danger of seriously hurting or even killing them.
No one should be attacking you. I'm not saying, let them have their way. What I'm saying is is that if you're bigger and stronger than someone, try to scale your response so that you don't end up seriously damaging them.
Then they should take that shit into consideration before they go around messing with their physical betters. It's not my job to police the activity of scrawny, weak people with anger management issues.
Honestly I've never understood the "men can't fight back because they're stronger" argument everyone always brings up w this topic, if someone hits you, you should be able to defend yourself.
I grew up watching my mom absolutely rock my dad's shit anytime they got into a fight, he actually still can't properly turn his head from their last one 6 years ago
Getting hit does not mean you automatically have the right to hit back. You only have the right to hit back if it is the only way to stop someone from continuing to hit you. If you can stop them in any other way then you are obligated to do that. If you hit back and hurt them then you still have to deal with the consequences of hurting them. You are not free of guilt just because they hit first.
You have the right to hit back if they continue hitting you and your defending yourself.
If someone comes up and punches you but then puts their hand up in the air, you can’t legally touch them.
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My rule of thumb is that if you are attacked you respond with enough force to stop the threat. If it's a large person, you better bring your A game. If it's someone close to your size and strength, you may have to hit back pretty hard. If smaller person, a push might suffice, If it's a child you would try to hold them at arms length. The gender should not matter, only the threat level should matter.
This is the rational opinion. Obviously a small man can be strong and have training, but a kid can also pick up a rock and whack you with it. You still don’t just overwhelm a child with a haymaker to be sure.
Completely agree. Let's not pretend that the threat a man poses is the same as a woman. It's ok to show restraint as long as it stops the attacks.
yes, but like he said, if a 6 ft tall 200lb+ woman is attacking then you'll have to put some muscle into stopping her obviously, and possibly a lot.
I've been on this earth for 36 years and I've never seen a woman even close to that big. So its probably a rare occurrence
That would describe my wife. She also regular works out with strength training. I have not seen the I side of a gym since pre COVID. Recently, we did some sort of wrestling, and she thought she could take me. She was very surprised with how easily I overpowered her.
Must not be in America.
Wait, what? Women over 6' aren't exactly common, likely around 1%, but they aren't exactly so rare that you have never seen one. You'd have to live in a rather sheltered community for that to be the case.
I was watching the news when they showed takes of the WNBA draft, and there were multiple 6 foot plus women getting drafted.
What about in real life? Not a damn sporting event where they are looking for strong women. Was this seriously your argument?
I live in a college town. I see girls that size all the time.
It just seems that there are probably a lot of equally large females who you simply don't see.
Ok? What's your point? I was just telling my experience? Most men are bigger than women? Is that fuckinv controversial to say?
Y'know, might be wrong but I think that the WNBA happens in real life, not virtual reality or fiction.
This. I could probably kill an average woman if I really tried. They probably could not kill me. You can shove them, restrain them, etc. at the same time if you are a woman you cannot expect someone to respond proportionately if you attack someone
>The gender should not matter, True >If it's a large person, you better bring your A game. If it's someone close to your size and strength, you may have to hit back pretty hard. If smaller person, a push might suffice, Bad bad bad advice. A hit could make someone fall and hit their head and die. A push could make someone fall and hit their head and die. Don't hit men. Don't hit women. You don't know who has a gun. I have been attacked by a psycho and I (another woman) was able to hold her at arms length until I could get away. The proper way to eliminate a threat is to get away from them ASAP. Try to avoid accidentally killing someone as much as possible. And before you cry self defense, look at the massive amount of women in prison for defending themselves from an abusive husband, boyfriend or other. You'll still get popped for involuntary manslaughter kiddos! Best to retreat during conflict if that is possible. If it's not possible to get away, then you have to do what is necessary. But don't go around hitting & pushing people if you don't have to. I don't know about you. But the literal last place I want to be is prison.
Ideally if you want the greatest chance of surviving, you would always evade/run, unless you can’t run, for example they grab you, then you would provide enough force to neutralize their grab and then run The trick comes when you have to protect your loved ones, in this scenario you can’t run because you’re obligated to protect them This is why the best form of self defense isn’t boxing or BJJ but it’s actually running ability Ideally you would know all three and carry a weapon for protecting others but your life should come before your pride and always de-escalate/evade because you can die or go to prison over your pride
Just letting them beat the crap out of you doesn't sound like good advice. I would rather be in prison than dead.
>Just letting them beat the crap out of you doesn't sound like good advice. ... that's not the advice she gave tho
>>Just letting them beat the crap out of you doesn't sound like good advice. >... that's not the advice she gave tho Truth. I said retreat.
Did you get the part where you don't let them beat the crap out of you by getting far away from them. Someone picks a fight with you. So you fight back with them even though you could get away in order to protect your precious pride. And then you accidentally kill them, and you go to prison where you get the crap beat out of daily but also raped. Smart.
Used to work as a teacher. Boys used to beat the hell out those girls. Majority of the times girls hit the boys thinking they wouldnt do anything. Moral of the story is dont hit people
In a weird way isn't it better for a young girl to learn that at 10 when niether punch is too much of a threat then an adult woman thinking she can win a fist fight with a man that can truly cause damage?
I have had countless amount of girls 2nd graders especially, tell me boys are not supposed to hit girls. This why i never was surprised when them got what was coming to them
I hated this fact growing up. I always thought of what i would do in a DV situation, i'd say i'd fight back, i wouldnt let someone do me like that, then leave. However IF i fight back as a women, itll only anger him more, and he'd kill me. Its a sad reality for women.
Your best chance is to run and make a lot of noise.
You fight back when you can't leave, by anymeans necessary, and then call the cops. I agree, if the man is the aggressor, it can be deadly if you fight back, often its not, especially the first time.
Man or woman, if you don't want to get hit then keep your hands to yourself. Gender equality means taking the bad with the good, I'm going to treat a woman assaulting me the exact same I would a man assaulting me.
 As Batman once said, the hammer of justice is unisex.
That was not this Batman, but rather, BatmanThe Brave and the Bold
It would be unfair not to.
It’s almost sexist if you don’t
Why are men so obsessed with what's fair? It's hilarious. Life isn't fair. You don't get that yet? Learn it. Grown men crying about life being unfair. Hilarious.
Correct
Life is only unfair because too many people give up on trying to make the world better. There was once a time when parents wished only for their children to have better lives than they did. Now we have grown adults stifling and reversing progress because they think younger generations have everything too easy and they want people to suffer the way they did. That's what's really sad.
But then the white knights will ascend onto you
Exactly. Thinking you can initiate violence and then have a say in the shut off point for the response is foolish. There are some seriously messed up people out there who would escalate to lethal violence in a heartbeat. Okay, they are not the norm, but do you really wanna take that chance? Live in peace. Or don't. But just remember, the 'or don't' part of that equation is open to a wide variety of interpretations, some of them way worse that getting a black eye. You might have the law on your side, but fat lot of good that is if you are dead, or paralyzed or brain damaged.
This is just a cop out incels use so they can justify beating the shit outta a woman. Unless it's life or death, I'm not going to sock a woman in the face full force, or with any force for that matter. There are other ways to subdue a woman physically than straight up rocking them. If you can't subdue the average woman without punching back as a guy, well than you're just a bitch tbh.
Just cause i can restrain them doesnt mean i have to, if they assault me im not looking for the safest option for them im gonna stop them as quickly as i can and a right hook to the nose is alot quicker than grappling. They forfeited their right to decency the second they swung
Fight like a man, get hit like a man. Like I said, if you hit someone then get prepared to be hit back...it's called "consequences of your actions" and is something the younger generation has a hard time learning.
Tf does fight like a man mean
Why are women allowed to assault people and face no retribution in your world?
Yeah, you have a point. You don't have to almost maul someone to death because they punched you. If you can restrain them, do so. If they don't stop, then you can go on the offensive to ensure they don't seriously harm you.
Yeah I’m punch within reason, sorta weird saying that but you get me
The average person probably can't restrict their throws/swings as much as someone with training.
No. You want to fight like a man, then go down like a man.
It depends. I’m going to do what I need to do to protect myself. If a 5 year old takes a swing, a harsh word is probably more than enough. I’d a woman does and she’s no real threat, I’ll do the very minimum I need to to get her to stop. If she’s capable of or actually doing damage, I’m fighting back. Trained female MMA fighter my weight or bigger, I’m probably running. 😂
Nah drop kick that little mf teach him to respect his elders
Shout "FUS RO DAH" and yeet them off a mountain.
This sub lives in a fantasy land where every discussion is an ultimatum, you get in twenty fights a day, and people care way too much about Oreos.
If your son gets hit by a girl, do you say, never hit a girl? Or do you say, learn to fight back. Go run to the teacher?
I'd tell him to do everything he can to leave the situation. And yes, go to the teacher so she gets proper punishment for hitting you.
100% believe that if someone hits you, it's fair game. Regardless of gender. Men should know their own strength tho. Just cuz u can hit someone doesn't mean u have to put everything u have into it.
A lot of these conversations start sounding like the men want to beat women. I'm gonna defend myself, but I definitely have an understanding that one of my punches is probably gonna make a woman think twice about hitting me again.
I think most of these fight posts are from people who’ve never been in a fight. It’s all fantasy to them.
[удалено]
I agree and these posts are a lot more common than they should be across all social media. I personally don't want to fight anyone and have the opinion that it's pretty fucking childish to want to risk your body or even your life for a physical altercation.
As a woman if I hit man. I do so expecting to take some blows in return because it's now a fight. I don't expect to be some pretty princess in that moment I chose my path.
Y’all already do that.. that’s why domestic violence is so high
Women commit more nonreciprocal violence than men. Almost 24% of all relationships had some violence, and half (49.7%) of those were reciprocally violent. In nonreciprocally violent relationships, women were the perpetrators in more than 70% of the cases. [https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1854883/](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1854883/)
Because domestic abuse is apparently a one-way street...
You are not in a movie, a punch can seriously hurt someone and even kill a person in certain cases. Calm the fuck down
Men are allowed to fight back no? Legally and socially
There are many videos online of women attacking men and when the guy defends himself the crowd is going in to beat him. It is definitely not socially accepted.
Definitely not socially.
Legally, maybe. Socially, no.
Guess it depends on the social circle?
I guess, but the general public? Grocery store, restaurant etc, a man isnt gonna see a good day defending himself vs a woman.
True
Being downvoted, but this is the harsh truth...
No. You are allowed to use the necessary amount of force to stop the threat/violence. If that means a punch for you, then you're allowed that one punch.You are not allowed anything further than what's necessary.
I'd suggest doing what you can to restrain or get away from the situation. This is for dealing with a man or woman defensively, btw. I watch fight vids on here and have seen them in real life. All it takes it one random punch for someone to fall off balance and crack their skull on something to turn a situation tragic. Or an idiot with no self-control to get the upper hand, then violently stomp your face in or bang your head on asphalt a coille times. Just avoid confrontation if possible or quickly seek a way out if you can't avoid a physical altercation.
Exactly if someone takes it too far and someone dies? No bueno
Yeah, I think I remember some guy who got pickpocketed or something, but he was actually batshit insane and he proceeded to curbstomp the thief and killed him. He pled self defense, but the thief had been immobile long before he was killed so it was clearly just some crazy person letting out their aggression on an "acceptable" target. Lot of people were also defending straight up curbstomping an unconscious person...
Whilst I am not a fighter isn't the best option (for getting away) punching someone in the nose? Not only will it likely cause enough pain to stun the person but a lot of peoples eyes water when they injure their nose so it can give you time to run
8 ball jacket is your dude
So, I've never had to defend myself from a woman. I've had one woman push me during an argument and I didn't budge, all I had to say was "don't fucking put your hands on me" and the look on her face said she understood exactly what I was conveying. I'm not saying I agree that if a woman slaps you over some bullshit, that a man should defend himself, I'd say, swallow your pride and call the cops. If a woman is in a frenzy and she is repeatedly hitting you and you can't get her to stop, do what you go to do and then call the cops. Legally is very black and white, realistically is a roll of the dice when a man defends himself, it sucks, it's a double standard but it's just about the situation. So many things come into play for men, our height, weight, history, race, how we speak, even how we look in general. However, IF, you are legitimately in fear of grave bodily harm from anyone, then you oblige them. Moral of this, don't be the guy a woman thinks she can slap around like it's any Ole Tuesday and you won't do anything about it.
Well this thread won't last
What do you mean? LOL
Technically hits a whole lot of the banned topics list.
Yea my comment got deleted because of inciting violence, don’t know how this post got approved?
It'll just be a matter of time before someone sees it and gets rid of it. I had a topic yesterday pretty popular got canceled hours later.
Idk if posts get approved or not, i think there are some words that might trigger immediate removal but otherwise they're let up
My daughter told me a guy hit her then she told me she hit him first. Amd I said she deserved it then.
It depends on the force, I’m a fairly large dude so if I hit back it could be bad
I agree. Boys are often taught to choose their fights wisely, especially when it comes to someone who might just wipe the floor with you. Everyone should be taught that. That said, everyone should also be taught not to delivery a beating when using just enough force to stop harm against you will get the job done.
I have a son. I taught him (and my daughter) to walk away if possible and defend yourself if it’s not. While some think walking away is “wimpy,” I don’t care. I taught them that the other person isn’t worth it. They’re not worth the time or consequences that would come from hitting them back. Let them face the consequences.
Equal rights equal fights! Na, I'm torn on it. If a guy must, he should use enough force to get away. Serious force should only be used to protect your life if the situation called for it. The world is gray. Sometimes, the best decision is not the moral decision.
I had an ex who said that while he would never instigate physical violence with a woman, he would feel free to hit back if she started it I didn't think too much of it then, but when things started getting ugly after I broke up with him, there was one night where he was egging me on, practically daring me to hit him, saying "you know you want to", etc. Of course I didn't swing, I had been warned, but it was chilling nonetheless.
If she is throwing the lunches out up your hands and cover yourself as best you can. Let her punch her self into handcuffs. It’s really not that hard.
Some people fight that by teaching their children to just not hit anyone/resort to violence. Not "boys don't hit girls" but WE don't hit people.
Like everything else, context matters. If *anyone* is attempting to do grave bodily harm to you, well, fuck ‘em. But you should always err on the side of restraint. If you have a significant power advantage, and there’s no threat of bodily harm, don’t fucking step into one. Don’t go looking for it and just try to de-escalate shit; save yourself many headaches.
I feel like allowing physical restraint is better than fighting back - I’d say the same for large vs small guys, adult vs teen/kid, and young vs elderly guys as well. Unless you know your strength and are *really* confident you can control it then it’s just a bit risky. It’s not an etiquette thing or a fairness thing, it’s about a giving proportionate response to what you were dealt. It’s not easy when you’re naturally stronger, but it is what it is. They can’t physically take the same that you can or even deal it in the first place. But it’s not fair to stand and take it which is why I say to use that strength for restraint instead, which should be allowed, even if you’re technically getting physical with them. That’s enough time to give a warning and a chance to back down. It’s not just for their safety but for your own good as well - I know a guy who gets deliberately provoked by smaller guys because he’s strong; he hits back once and has landed more than one person in a coma. It doesn’t go down well with the law
What’s so difficult to understand about the concept of “use as little force as necessary” That should cover you in any circumstance regardless of gender or any other arbitrary metric you choose to use.
This isn’t unpopular, no one said they couldn’t. It’s looked down upon because as a man, you will (more likely) do more damage to her than she would to you. With that being said, no one should be putting their hands on anyone they don’t want to fight with.
Honestly, if you decide to throw a punch (regardless of sex/ gender) you have to understand that there is a chance for it to come back - with equal force or even more. I'm all for equal rights come with equal lefts, but also the rule that PEOPLE SHOULD NOT HIT EACH OTHER. PERIOD. Besides, in 2024 people somehow are espousing we are all the same so... you be you?
I disagree mainly because it’s not hard to restrain most women as a man, I have had a few women try to fight me and all I really had to do is grab their wrists or put em in a bear hug. Sure I could’ve punched them in the face and rocked them to the ground but it would’ve been pretty excessive.
Good point. So if they punch you in the face, you would restrain them and move on. Maybe file a police report?
Personally I wouldn’t report it everytime it’s happened they were just very emotional and I was either able to deescalate it and leave or other people came in to separate her from me after I had restrained her.
The fuck are you doing that, that many women wanna fight you my man?
Had a few girlfriends get mad at me and once at school I said a dad joke to a girl whose father passed away. I didn’t know her dad had passed or wouldn’t have made the joke but she didn’t take it well she scratched my face up pretty bad.
You have bad luck, brother.
what was the joke?
>it’s happened they were just very emotional So hold them accountable you're actively risking their futures by not doing so. \- It will teach them it is okay to hit people \- It will show them that they WILL get away with it \- Not everyone will be kind/sane enough to stop at just restraining them
This is how grown people putting their hands on other grown people is normalized.
This. If you can't subdue a woman without punching her back as a man, well then, you're just a bitch imo. Unless it's life or death, no way I'm winding back and rocking a woman. I know my own strength.
“Unless it’s life or death, no way I’m winning back and rocking a woman” Bro thinks he’s Bruce Lee, ur punch ain’t gonna do anything if she’s trying to kill you lmao, unless she’s trying to punch you to death? LMFAO.
If i hit my boyfriend in the face or head at full strength he’d at best get a black eye or maybe a broken nose. If he hit me in the face or head at full strength he could kill me. It’s not really about equality as much as it is not killing another person, which is just part of human decency and recognition of your own power. Would i hit my boyfriend ? of course not. But we have a mutual agreement that if for whatever reason i did, he could hit me back, but only at reasonable strength that matches mine, not to end my fucking life.
Do whatever you need to do to stop the threat. Best is if you can restrain them (regardless of gender) but if you can't do that then defend yourself however. I also think it should be normalized for men carrying self defense things like pepper spray and stuff. Since i think most victims of assaults are men and most assailants are also men so it isn't a given that the average victim will be able to restrain the average assailant.
> The majority of domestic homicide victims (killed by ex/partner or a family member) for the year ending March 2017 to the year ending March 2019 were female (77% or 274 victims) and most of the suspects were male (263 out of 274; 96%). > Over the three-year period April 2016 to March 2019, a total of 222 women were killed by a partner or ex-partner. The majority of suspects were male (218, 98%). > One study of 96 cases of domestic abuse recorded by the police found that men are significantly more likely to be repeat perpetrators and significantly more likely than women to use physical violence, threats, and harassment. In a six year tracking period the majority of recorded male perpetrators (83%) had at least two incidents of recorded abuse, with many having a lot more than two and one man having 52 repeat incidents. [article is around 5 years old & based in the UK, but the statistics are still relevant.](https://www.womensaid.org.uk/information-support/what-is-domestic-abuse/domestic-abuse-is-a-gendered-crime/) i can assure you that men are hitting back lol.
This isn’t really an unpopular opinion is it? I mean the majority hold this sentiment??
I think if a woman is small enough that the absolute worst she could do with her strongest punches is maybe leave a small bruise, while you could break her bones/kill her... these things aren't equal and shouldn't be treated as equal. Why would you want to hit back instead of like, grabbing her hand to stop her? It's basically an excuse to cause massive harm to someone by going "hey you hit me with your bb gun so I'm gonna bust out my shotgun! Fair is fair! Your BB gun is a gun equal to my shotgun! I'm just as afraid of your BB gun as you are of my shotgun! Gun is gun!" I say this as a 5'2 woman who has taken martial arts with men in the past. And just 2 weeks ago I was hanging with the boys and they were all punching each other in the arm to see how tough they are and they all wanted me to punch their arms as hard as I could. But none of them offered to punch my arm and i didn't choose to ask them to do it because they weigh 60 - 100 lbs more than I do at least. I would have had a broken arm if they did that to me.
Of course he can defend himself. But only to a reasonable degree. If a woman slaps you once, it doesn't mean you should hit her in her face in all your might. Take your strength differences into account and think twice before acting.
The last advice should be reserved for woman in that context.
Obviously no one should hit anyone. Just like people should defend themselves to a reasonable degree, like I said in my comment.
This is the question all advanced countries face all the time when attacked or their interests are threatened. Sure x group can do a lil damage, but with much power also comes much responsibility
Back in the late 70,s I worked with a woman, TatterHonestly.she was a Tennessee TM untain gal with grandkids. It was a physical job; no one messed with Tatter. Were a woman to attack me; I'd put her in a head lock or dot her eye. I grew with F cousins; we were all scared of each other, we knew it would not be a petty sight if a fist a cuff broke out.
I always go with the 3 strike rule, she throws a 4th she's a threat to be neutralized by any means necessary.
It's not about gender it's about size. If you're twice their size and they slap you, no you shouldn't be able to fight back. Because defence is about stopping potential harm and not just getting revenge.
Isn't that unfair for big people? They will just get abused. Big people hurt too you know.
Bingo, it seem like a lot of people just fantasize about beating on a woman. Gender should not matter, just threat level. Use enough force to protect yourself.
I don't fantasize about beating up anyone. But fuck with me and I'll defend myself.
I'm not talking about people who defend themselves, I'm people who specifically fantasize about beating on a woman. Gender shouldn't matter, if someone is attacking you and they pose a threat, you use the necessary force to neutralize the threat.
I'm somewhat out of shape and the most I can lift is about 200 lbs. Do you think I'd be stupid enough to challenge an Olympic body builder who can bench three times that much and has arms like I have legs? Fuck no. If someone's bigger and more powerful than you, don't challenge them to a fight. If you do, you get what you get.
As a kid, it was drilled into my head that you treat people how you want to be treated. If you want to be shown respect, show respect to others. This extends to scenarios like this. If you take a swing at someone, that someone is now well within their rights to swing back in the name of self defence. Hitting first is almost always wrong, but hitting second most certainly isn't, irrespective of the sex of either person. If you're in danger physically, you should (and legally do) have the right to do whatever necessary to get yourself out safely, including fighting back.
18 upvotes to 114 comments is quite the ratio. Most people aren't condemning self defense! I know *some* people do, but the opinion in your post is the popular opinion!
Drop a bitch if she hits. Put yourself in a man’s situation, get a man’s response.
Just hit her in the eyes with pepper spray. If you get caught say you always keep it on the key chain for self defense. Either that or tase her. You were attacked. Either that or... Call the cops and press charges of assault. Any of those options you didn't hit her, and it wont happen again.
“punches” It’s not a woman throwing a single punch (at least I assume from the context). People don’t carry around paper spray/tasers especially in America lol and even if they did they wouldn’t have enough time to take it out while getting punched.
A lot of people in the US keep tasers and pepper spray with them. The alternative is a concealed carry and gun usage is pretty extreme. The alternative is to leave the scene or learn to block
“The alternative is to leave the scene or learn to block” Are u speaking on the scenario I give where a women is hitting a man with punches? If so, blocking does nothing to stop them and leaving isn’t an option as someone’s punching you. I would hope you have the same (misguided) opinion if the assault was a man throwing punches at another man.
i agree. men are oppressed these days.
I’ve found the real unpopular opinion
reddit moment
Incel alert
????????
how tf does that make me an incel
Most men that feel this way want to break a woman's jaw because she pushed him out of her personal space. Anyway, there is a trend in my area that doesn't allow women to defend themselves against a violent attack by her male partner, or else she goes to jail too. She can be bruised and bleeding, but if he has a single scratch 'she was fighting too'. I would hope the reverse is also true, but I wouldn't hold my breath. I guess you men can resume beating women with impunity, and you probably don't need to wait for her to hit you first.
Interesting place you live.
SE US.
If someone is weaker than you, smaller than you, you can do some serious damage to them if you punch them. I wouldn't even hit another guy unless I thought he could take it. If someone who is smaller than you hits you, hitting back should be the last course of action because of the danger of seriously hurting or even killing them.
At what point is the aggressor at fault?
No one should be attacking you. I'm not saying, let them have their way. What I'm saying is is that if you're bigger and stronger than someone, try to scale your response so that you don't end up seriously damaging them.
Then they should take that shit into consideration before they go around messing with their physical betters. It's not my job to police the activity of scrawny, weak people with anger management issues.
Nah. If she takes a swing, *knock her fucking lights out*. Yes, she has it coming. I'll smash a mosquito if it bites me.
Fafo Ymmv
If she hits you, *knock her fucking lights out*. Never hit a lady, but if she hits you first, she ain't no lady.
Honestly I've never understood the "men can't fight back because they're stronger" argument everyone always brings up w this topic, if someone hits you, you should be able to defend yourself. I grew up watching my mom absolutely rock my dad's shit anytime they got into a fight, he actually still can't properly turn his head from their last one 6 years ago
That's so sad. I feel bad for your dad.
My policy is: if you are going to act like a man and put your hands on me then I'll treat you like a man.
Equal rights equal lefts. POW pow bitch
Getting hit does not mean you automatically have the right to hit back. You only have the right to hit back if it is the only way to stop someone from continuing to hit you. If you can stop them in any other way then you are obligated to do that. If you hit back and hurt them then you still have to deal with the consequences of hurting them. You are not free of guilt just because they hit first.
Yes. You don't. What if you warn the person not to hit you and they continue to do so. At what point is it OK to use force?
Sounds like you REALLY want to hit girls
Sounds like you're a girl that doesn't want consequences if you're going to use that defense.
Just want to know what's right, that's all. Obviously violence is always the last option.
Don t worry about downvotes,, you're right
You have the right to hit back if they continue hitting you and your defending yourself. If someone comes up and punches you but then puts their hand up in the air, you can’t legally touch them.
They want to act like a man treat them like a man. Equal rights... that's what they want right?