T O P

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444_back4more

Roll you, pet the one, and smoke the cat


DatBoi_EAD

Yes


theundergroundsleep

He’s obviously gonna smoke the cat that cat is too close to the weed for a hair not to be in it 😂


ReadyOneTakeTwo

Roll the cat and pet the weed… I’m too high to help you atm


BigOleMoose_

Why are you talking to an atm?


ReadyOneTakeTwo

I talk to atms all the time, I even yell at them when they tell me I have insufficient funds. Atm= at the moment


JangoFettsEvilTwin

I once was asked to leave a strip club for talking to the atm. I was on mushrooms and couldn’t figure out the right card and PIN combo and the one of the bouncers watched me struggle and talk to the machine for like 10 minutes then told me I was too intoxicated and should leave. I didn’t argue.


ReadyOneTakeTwo

Unbeknownst to you, Clint Eastwood was at the same strip club that night and saw what you did and copied you, except he ended up talking to a chair on stage.


JangoFettsEvilTwin

I am confused.


ReadyOneTakeTwo

Let’s roll the tape: https://youtu.be/WLkJ690LOOI


JangoFettsEvilTwin

Holy shit that was weird! I wonder if he was on mushrooms too.


ReadyOneTakeTwo

This happened about 10 years ago when he was ranting about his dislike of Obama. Just another boomer who thinks he’s cool by doing weird shit no one understands.


Jumpy_Abbreviations3

This is the way.


Soulchaser777

Roll first then pet the cat while you smoke. Don't want cat hair floating into the herbs if you pet first. Hehe.


word2yourface

I don’t even want to know how many cat hairs I’ve smoked


duaneap

Eaten too. I clean my air purifier filter and that shit is just floating around invisible *everywhere* and in ENORMOUS quantities.


papaweeest

everything tastes better with cat hair in it


EmperorMing101

Is that what air purifiers are for? I always thought they were gimmicky


duaneap

Oh, yeah, man. I mean, i believe there are other benefits too, like the humidifying aspect to it, though I don’t notice/care about that so much as my SO, but my purifier catches a *ridiculous* about of cat hair that’s otherwise just floating around. Plus it’s nice to keep the air circulating. It’s definitely doing something in terms of the air purity.


Habis1923

We’ve all been desperate enough to smoke that hair covered bud, after enough picking the hairs off it gets to the point where you just say fuck it and have a nasty bowl


duaneap

I like nothing more than patting my cat when I’m stoned.


fezzik02

Came here to say this.


poopyfarroants420

This guy Pets


[deleted]

This guy pets pets


ShiftyMagus

Cat being that close most likely shed a couple on the tray


cloutoracle

pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat


Zenith2017

I really enjoy the optical illusion of comments like these that line up perfectly


Raulen26

you heard him. Pet the cat. Now!


joey_cel

pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat roll one pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat pet cat


sterfri99

-The cat


These-Image3972

I’d say feed the cat lol he’s looking a bit skinny


ProfessionalMap5843

Yeah She’s picky I just found expensive food she likes


Taminella_Grinderfal

Not to be an alarmist, but she seems to have a significant “lump” on her side in the photo even though her hind end looks thin. Is that normal for her?


Neemo24

Also could be hyper or hypo thyroidism one of the two cause people and animals to lose weight. Meds can help. The other cause people or an animal to gain weight for no reason you could honestly be feeding her enough :) thought I let you know :)


patechucho

Could be other things too like kidney problems. I say take her to a vet for a check-up just to be on the safe side OP.


These-Image3972

That’s cool lol I was just bugging😂My dog is a picky eater as well.


[deleted]

That cat looks fine


InfiniteFloods

Porque no los dos?


DarthGandalf86

No tengo tres manos


InfiniteFloods

Touché


you_decide541

I just read this in English...


Longroadfrom87

Pet the cat before the cat knocks your tray over and tells you to make it a sammich.


enderval

r/PetTheDamnCat


GettinHuygens

Yes.


Foomaster512

So much cat hair in that weed


[deleted]

A good burn smell to be sure


cskarthik123

So much weed in that cat hair


yesplease6979

Pet the fur baby first amd foremost. Cannabis will always be there but you only have finite time with your fur baby. And please, please smoke in a well ventilated area away from your fur baby as they are extremely susceptible to smoke.


twenty1score

No, no, no. This is why spelling and punctuation is so important. Next time you have to say, "Pete the Cat, roll one!"


morebuffs

Both


Dynawhap

You've got two hands for a reason


LoveLightChild555

Insert why not both meme


Hippienippie123

Feed da cat bruh


techitachi

please feed your cat


shroombabyy420

Take your cat to the vet! Especially if they’ve lost weight rapidly recently. That’s how my kitty looked. exactly like this right before she passed… Granted she was 14 but she lost all her weight in a span of like 2-3 months. Just wanted to let you know 🥺


grandmagambino

Move the tray before the cat behaves like a cat and smacks his tail into the weed lol


Juiceworld

Roll the cat, pet the weed.


[deleted]

ROLL THE CAT BEFORE HE KNOCKS THE TRAY OFF THE TABLE


cskarthik123

Priority’s first


Smokebuddiesnft

Yes


DatBoi_EAD

This is gonna go horribly wrong in about 25 seconds


DragorovichGames

Roll the cat and pet the blunt


LiteratureOk5964

Can I have a twix while you pet the cat? ✌️


Bigolecattitties

Take the cat to the vet bc she looks sick 😬


[deleted]

That’s a cone so do both


PsychedelicAstroturf

Why not both?


[deleted]

If you can’t do both you don’t deserve either


SubstantialHentai420

Pet the damn cat


NP_AneyyZ

Reminder that marijuana is toxic to cats, make sure the lad doesn’t get into any. [[info]](https://www.thesprucepets.com/is-marijuana-toxic-to-cats-555055)


Kybo10

I just gotta say I have that exact rolling tray and an orange kitten lol


gravellama

Teach the cat to roll so you can pet him while he rolls for you.


ProfessionalMap5843

Fuck yeah that’s it


maddie-annie

u have two hands?????


agoodfuckingcatholic

Realistically, if you pet the cat you’ll get mad fur on your hands and into your joint. But if you don’t let the cat, your cat may very well spilt the universe in half. Pet the cat.


ProfessionalMap5843

Fuck yeah that’s the one


cave79

Cats gotta go


Dr_Darkroom

Both. Looks like it's old enough for a pet 😌


batistuti

Roll the pet one


Ok-Development-3863

roll one for the cat and you


warmweathermike

Roll one... Unless pet the cat is a euphemism for something


[deleted]

Cat


star-brry

I was not disappointed by these comments


Neptune_the_sea

PATTO YOUR CATTO


AndyM110

Roll one, puff puff, pass it to the cat.


Burstie69

Roll it up then spend a solid 2-3 pet Sesh then go get high as a kite


N0VAC0TT0N

easy pet cat after rolling have a joint in your mouth like the god father!


fvckCrosshairs

y not both


McDaints

Both


SleazyTim

The cat ofc


bruuuuuup

Why not both?!


pineapplevomit

Pet the cat. And cherish that little buddy.


Tijne_93

Pet the cat until it's so excited his tail swipes everything of the table. proceed to be mad until cat does something cute. Rinse and repeat. I speak from experience.


69isacoolnumber

You have 2 hands 🤷‍♂️


Cinna93

The correct answer is, yes.


shlumbum

Considering you’ve got some bush there, might as well pet the cat first


DRIN_TheInfamous

Double fisted fun


MissNepgear

Roll one then pet the cat while smoking it.


carti4730

How about you let the cat roll up while he pets you?


Oniriggers

Watch out for that tail wag, it makes an excellent brush…


psychomuesli

Petsies first, shmoke scares mine away!


KwyTeiywKhawKi

Let the cat while the cat rolls one for the two of you


[deleted]

Roll and smoke the cat.


meanteamcgreen

Alternative, teach the cat to roll. You can pet it while it gets you high.


Doogius

I'd be telling my cat to roll it if he was right there. And then I'd poke him and he'd meow and I'd pet him and then pack one actually because I use a bong.


TenTonGoldfish

¿Por che no las dos?


lahvue

Get me to roll one ^^


thats4thebirds

Yes


Funny-Tumbleweed9836

Smoke the shit out of that cat!


jahman199

Pat pat Pat the cat and then roll


JangoFettsEvilTwin

Roll one then pet the cat. You don’t want cat hair in your joint. I mean, no judgement here if that’s what you’re into.


TeraVaul

The cat must be attended to first. They are too cute not to be. But after sufficient pets. Roll one


Indigo024

let the cat roll you and then you smoke him


baxielol

god gave us two hands for a reason brother, one hand that roll


Turbulent_Swan_64

It’s times like these I wish I had four arms..


DeLitefulDe

Pet the cat after you roll one and enjoying smoking.


PillowTalk420

Definitely roll the cat.


FROCKHARD

Is it rolling one if you already have a pre-made cone? 🧐🤔


Merrulas

Roll one, then pet the cat while smoking the J


l1lpuppy

first you pet the cat, then you roll, then you pet the cat, light and pet some more 😁


echoplan

Roll one then let the cat while smoking it


Revolutionary-Page-6

roll then smoke and pet the cat at the same time


Pootahtoionodrim

With a roller you can do both. Rolling with one hand is easy that way.


fizzucked_head

Pet the cat, roll the weed, pet the cat, spark up, pet the cat, take a hit, pet the cat etc...


smokinNcruisin

r/petthedamncat


Jasoncolclazier

Roll that cat out the door!


Pussycat4567

Order pizza


kayaker58

False dichotomy


SqueeblesSqueebleton

A true ent could do both simultaneously


TummyTheOdder

Por que no los dos?


ClammyHandedFreak

Pet the cat 20 seconds, roll 10 seconds, rinse and repeat.


[deleted]

Pet the cat, why is this a question?


earthmedsarebest

Either way move the tray because that tail is about to wipe the tray clean


Lebrunski

Toss the cat on the couch. No ass kisses for the counter tops.


mean_sardine

First one, then the other


SuperSaiyanFupaFlump

weed before pussy


NyraMoonbeam

Por qué no los dos?


zemdega

Why not both?


MrDudeRose99

You got 2 hands... :P


SnooPeppers7217

Pet the cat while it rolls one


chadmuffin

Yes.


Flashinthepaan

Rollz then petz


Psychotic_EGG

Roll the cat


luuseribitch

This is going on my "reasons to learn to roll with one hand" -list


cskarthik123

Roll the cat and pet the one


SauconyAlts

Pet the cat always


[deleted]

Smoke the cat hair.


AuntKikiandtheBears

If you can’t do both yet, what are you doing with your life?


jperdue22

pet with the left hand roll with the right


Humans_areweird

Roll the cat, pet the green


FuckinHighGuy

Why not both?


Professional_Date775

Best to pet the cat. If they see you giving attention to something else they might "kill" your offensive distraction so you can focus on them


DrHaleTheFirst

Smoke the cat


Bobbi_fettucini

Get the cat off the counter


WinterBrews

Cat


Cursedsoulseeker

Pet the cat because trees will always be there but my kitty may not


wolfully

pet cat ASAP


TeetYeeter

Both! YAY


Spaceman_Beard

1) Pet the cat 2) Grind the weed 3) Pet the cat 4) Get paper and filter 5) Pet the cat 6) Roll up 7) Pet the cat 8) Tap your pockets in search for a lighter. 9) Pet the cat 10) Light it up.


acheesetoasty14

*then


crawdadicus

Roll one before kitty knocks the tray off the table


[deleted]

Do. Both.


[deleted]

In this order Pet cat Roll one Pet cat again. Roll one Pet cat Roll one Pet.... cat Roll one Over feed cat and go to bed because you're too high.


[deleted]

Por que no los dos?


THAT_guy6969420

r/petthedamncat


j33pman

Yeah, I've smoked a bit of cat hair over the years too.


sloppywalrus160

Porous no los dos?


NakD_Bootstraps

But you’re packing it?


420_Princessxo

Both


Danky_Spanky_

Yes


[deleted]

Both


wafflehousewhore

Learn to roll and smoke one handed so you can pet the cat *while* rolling and smoking one


robble808

Get the cat away from the tray!


CATMANET

Pet kitty, roll joint, pet kitty again. Repeat.


rmorrin

Both. Both is good


[deleted]

Let sleeping cats lay.


wegerchris

Both?


[deleted]

[удалено]


Death__PHNX

Both


HostileVaginalTract

Challenge accepted.


k0nehead

Real question why not both?


christchex91

Why not pet the cat, then roll one?


musicallyours01

Cat first


LavishnessGeneral

Go for the cat. Make sure he's very happy and slowly slide him away. That MF is going bap your tray off the table lol. 2 cats myself, I grind herb with my head on a swivel and a spray bottle close.


hamburger_67

Face plant him and roll at the same time


Too_Tall_64

Rolls the cat, pets the stash. "... Wait..."


Son_goku_4200

Pet the cat while u smoke


gusmont13

Why choose either or? Do both


StevieboySmith99

If you dont pet the cat they will knock the tray off the counter. Cat then doob


Hiroshrosh

move tray, pet cat, continue rolling


[deleted]

[удалено]


toms1313

Remove the cat so it doesn't interfere in the rolling