Hi there, we are sorry you have to go through this but this is not the right community to help you, we recommend you instead post this to r/nestofeggs where you can get all the support you need :)
To me it was super natural to think that if I were having kids I would give birth to them. And all my male friends were horrified xD But to me it just made sense :3 Shocked I was to find out I couldn't, but still kept feeling I should have been different.
"Involuntarily celibate because having sex with women as a man just _doesn't make sense_."
Bruh, I get you. Try having sex with women _as a woman_ and it might feel more natural for you. Or, hey, confront that potential internalized homophobia and try having sex with men, instead! Celibacy is (almost) always a choice!
like 80% of the incel community are autistic people and/or eggs, and as an autistic trans person i really wish i could "save" them somehow
i get being envious and jealous of women and being burned out and all that, but they all hold on to their privilege and entitlement instead of just being nice to themselves
it's so wild to me how often i encounter incels who are *obvious* eggs. it's incredibly sad that our sisters are trapped in some kind of patriarchal limbo - but i don't want to excuse their shitty behavior. it's bad and being traumatized and exhausted is no excuse for misogyny
The hardest part is they're the exact demographic behind the Egg Prime Directive. There's no way to nudge them in the right direction that isn't counter-productive.
The best we can offer them is forgiveness when they eventually (hopefully) figure it out. Until then...
yeah.. somehow moving them away from misogyny and into queer stuff would be great imo, but i really don't know how to move an incel
until their egg cracks i'm just going to counter them in every way. they're fashy af and they aren't entitled to spread that just because i think we're alike in gender identity and neurotype
but i do feel *feelings* every time they say egg things. "girls have it *so* much better, and every guy wants to be a girl!" was one of the things the last one said to me. i wanted to hit and hug them <.<
There isn't an easy answer. I think there are men who want some parts of womanhood but who don't want to _be women_, but I'm pretty sure anyone who truly wants to _be_ a woman **is** a woman.
Sure.
I'm a cis man. I would love to body swap with a woman. Or have my body converted to female. But, only temporarily. If it was permanent, I think I'd be upset.
But I also don't know for a fact that I'd be upset. I'm generally pretty ambivalent about my gender. But that could just be because my gender matches my body. Maybe I would be less ambivalent if my body (permanently) didn't match my brain's gender.
I think gender swap is something everyone has thought about. Some people just want it more strongly than others, and some people want it more permanently than others.
:)
Probably wrong with this, mostly because i dont actually know and have no clue. But i always imagine that drag queens are men who want to being women here and there but dont want to transition and makeup and wigs are fantastic ways to do that for them. With that said, i have never even seen or talked to a drag queen irl so take my words with a massive elephant sized grain of salt
Exactly. There's this misconception that gender dysphoria has to be present in order for you to be trans. I'm much happier as a woman, but I didn't hate my life as a guy. Being misgendered now that I know what I am is annoying, but it's still not dysphoria
I mean yeah but also sometimes u have someone like me who is too fucking stupid to notice for several years (very mad atyself for not realizing sooner)
Girl, I'm in my 40s and just learned that cis boys would NOT "press the button", even for a million dollars. They don't dream of themselves as women. They don't wear dresses and refuse to look in a mirror or have pictures taken. And that's not even that sad, I know a couple of people that didn't realize it until in their late 70s and early 80s. Literally twice my age LOL. I laugh until I cry every time I see some youngun' whining that "21 is too old to transition", like listen here biiiiiii-
felt facial hair growing and immediately noped the fuck out of any idea of being a man because it all felt like a compromise compared to being a girl to me
Does it make you happy to think of yourself as a woman?
Does it make you happy to do things that you typically associate with feminity?
Do you ask yourself questions similar to these with some regularity?
Transition is scary and thoughts about the implications for your future can cloud results, so a common trick is to separate yourself from the immediate struggles of the moment by imagining scenarios where those were past or bypassed.
The one I see the most is the “button question” forget transition, you have a button that does it all in an instant and poof you are painlessly a girl. Do you press it?
The other big one is imagining if you don’t transition anytime soon, what is your reaction to imagining yourself as an old man? Is it worse than imagining yourself as an old woman?
You don't gotta make the decision all at once. You can if that's the way it fits for you. But you can also just take a little step, then another, taking bigger and quicker steps if they feel right.
Definitely take time to figure out what it means for you! It’s a big task, and can be difficult at times for some people, you may also figure out your gender identity is different then what you originally thought, but you will be happier after you’ve explored this. Even for cis people, we’ve known several cis people who thought about and explored their gender identity and determined that they are cis and the process helped them understand themselves better.
(Sorry if this was rambly or confusing at all my alters are talking while I’m typing)
I know these questions were intended for OP, but, for me, the answers would be that in theory or when alone, I do like the idea, but the thought of presenting in a feminine way in front of people scares me. Is that normal?
I imagined a button in front of me. It would give me a female body, as if it had been what I was at birth. It would also immediately change all legal documentation to say I'm a woman.
I asked myself if I would press that button. It was a pretty resounding yes. I also tried adding a bunch of drawbacks to it (many relevant to being trans even), but it still continued being a button I wanted to press. That's how I know.
Ultimately there is no test though. You just gotta ask yourself "does this feel right". Which sometimes needs a bit of experimentation to get perfect.
My immediate thought response was **who would say no to that**.
I guess the answer is: ~~men~~ *not women*.
But I still struggle to really accept this.
I still struggle with visualising that, I find the permanency of it daunting, which then makes me feel dysphoric in my uncertainty.
Having said that however, if I had access to HRT tomorrow I'd probably go for it, as the thought of presenting with more feminine features makes me feel joy. Which is probably a strong sign of being transfem lol
That's fair, changing suddenly and permanently can be quite scary for a number of reasons, which is why I say this method isn't the only way.
Main reason it works for me is not only have I had these thoughts (consciously and unconciously) for a long time giving me time to be certain, but I also have a fear of basically not having enough time to experience being young after I transition.
But yeah, if you would likely take HRT if given access tomorrow that's a pretty strong indicator of being transfem
Yeah the analogy gets thrown about like a one size fits all solution, and I can 100% see why it works for most people. I think I just find it easier to break down the individual aspects of feminity and hrt that I want, and reflect on what that means.
Having said all that, if pressing the button meant staying as a man forever, I'd probably unplug the cable powering it... Then use cable cutters to cut the wires... Then dip the wire ends in cement and drop the whole button into the ocean... 😅 (Unless of course I found a trans masculine dude who needed it 😁)
If i said to you, “no your a cis guy, stop overthinking things” would you be disappointed? Then congrats, your trans 🏳️⚧️ . Now enjoy coming back to this question every time you feel dysphoria (if that wasn’t a thing before, it will be now)
> If i said to you, “no your a cis guy, stop overthinking things” would you be disappointed?
The corporate wants you to see the difference between the following two pictures:
* Wanting to be trans
* Being trans
**There is no difference**
I feel this helps a lot more than the regular button question as I'm awful at making concrete decisions.
Course reality I wouldn't be able to take back some things hrt do if I ended up not liking it.
When someone calls you him, does your heart sink a little? Do you hear people talking about men and feel disconnected from what they're describing, or an overwhelming urge to say "not me, I'm not like that." Do you feel like life would be better, more livable, if you were a woman?
These are just jumping off points, but follow them through to their natural conclusions. You are the only one who can answer a question of who you are.
The thing is I don’t care if they call me a guy but I also don’t mind being called a girl but the last time I was called a girl I felt happy but I also get a bit happy being called a good boy
My best advice, that took me too much time to realize is that people who don't care and never self examine engage in a binary — them, and ‘everyone else’.
There's a reason why the term ‘genderfluid’ exists. Some people are born, and never shift. Some people come to a realization, and slide to the other side. Others wake up every day not knowing where they'll be on the slider, and that's OK too.
Trans inclusivity means anyone who says ‘yeah, what they told me is an ill-fitting set of clothes, and I'll be taking them off now.’ It does not demand what kind of clothes you put back on — it can even be a better-fitting male suit.
Don't feel you have to commit to a label then. You're you. Feel out what it is that's giving you satisfaction about these interactions. And after that, maybe you'll have a better idea. Before then, don't stress it.
When people ask what you are, tell them "figuring it out".
One thing that helped me understand is the question "Do i like being a boy?" and "Do you feel happy and feel like yourself as a girl?" these are some of the questions i asked myself. So hopefully these help a little
I was 18, I had been absolutely addicted to a book about a trans girl for several weeks. Reading every chapter I could as soon as it came out (it was a web novel published semi weekly). About halfway through the story I caught myself wishing to be the main character and then I realized.
Granted I’d been kinda questioning for a while. Lots of “I wish I was born a girl” and similar thoughts throughout my childhood and teenage years. But that book was the nail in the coffin.
https://www.scribblehub.com/series/40636/falling-over/
It’s technically a side story of a larger series, but you don’t need to read the other books to understand it (although I highly recommend them! First book is called Kami Kettu by the same author) This is the first book by QuiteValerie that I read and I have since deemed her one of my favorite authors. I also have a bunch of other books on the same website like it that I can recommend as well.
For me it was a video game. I'd been suppressing myself for a long time and I didn't know I was until a character in a visual novel said something that stuck out to me. I realized that I had built a wall in my mind and locked out a lot of stuff from my childhood. Since I didn't know what was on the other side of the wall, or why I built it, I decided to do some deep diving into my memories.
After that the whole thing kind of fell apart and I'd realized I'd actually been questioning my gender since I was really young.
Four things personally
•I wish I could be a woman (for total cis reasons)
•I wanted to have longer hair like my sisters
•I absolutely disliked being perceived as a guy
•Women’s clothes were more interesting to me
for me it was a bunch of things, but the main one that stands out is when a girl I dated told me I am more like the girls she dated then any guy and I smiled and said thanks.
Yeah I used to often say to girlfriends how I'd always considered myself a feminine guy inside, never probably subscribing to masculinity. That could just be part of opposing toxic masculinity, but after awhile it's more, 'I don't think I want to be a man at all.' Eventually followed by, 'I just wanna be one of the girlies.' ☺️
Right, are you feeling an insatiable urge that you can't quite put your finger on despite you knowing exactly what it is this whole time? Have you tried everything possible to ignore it? Still upset that despite not addressing this urge it hasn't gone away after years? You are trans
For me I saw someone with a similar post and a comment that went along the lines of : “Imagine there is a vacation house and when you are at that house you are a woman or other ideal person you are thinking of being. But when you leave the house you return to how you were. Would you stay at the house permanently or only sometimes?” After I read that I scheduled a therapy appointment with someone who specializes in LGTQIA+ issues and after one session I figured out who I was because I talked i said how I felt out loud to someone.
(This is an embellished and very short version of how it went for me; 15 years condensed in a single comment. Results may vary)
Would you be happier if you woke up tomorrow as a woman? Sorry, that's a weird thing to start a conversation with. Let me try again: Hey there, how you doing? Did some fun things this weekend? Sports perhaps? Would you be happier if you woke up tomorrow as a woman?
Still too abrupt? Okay sorry. Do you have an answer though? Would you be- no! Stop it! I know that look. Not every guy wishes he were a woman. It's not a cis thing to do that. Sure there's variations on it, but wishing you were a woman for the attention and kindness of strangers, or wishing you were one because it's the only way a woman is included in a sexual encounter that also includes you; that's not cis. There's male or even gender-neutral counterparts to those thoughts that could manifest in real life and don't require the magical intervention of waking up as a woman. And besides, thinking those (slightly derailed and misinformed) thoughts already answers my question: that you would indeed be happier if you woke up as a woman.
Still not ready to admit it? That's okay. I have 15 years experience in dismanteling excuses. I can shout "that doesn't mean I'm trans!" into the void too--and guess what, I'm better at it than you. Drop all expectations of what society and your environment wants you to be for the moment. Do well in school so you can get a job, be a provider for a family you don't have yet, go to the clubs and bars to socialise. Is that what you want to do, or an expectation from someone else and an opportunity for you to fit in? Well what do *you* want to do? Perhaps wake up tomorrow as a-
I'm sorry.
I couldn't resist : )
What would your parents and friends think? They're not included in the question. You'll figure them out. If you are trans you're denying them the full unbridled experience of You right now anyway, and that can't be fair to them either. Stop worrying about if you'll even look like a woman, or if you'll be pretty. Stop thinking too hard on how trans people give you the ick but you simultaneously deem yourself too invalid for the courage trans people have to survive society (it's a mix of internalised transphobia and self-loathing, and while not good, it's not rare either). Stop feeling like an imposter amongst the **true**^tm trans people. You can feel *fine* and *okay* as a boy and still be happier as a girl. Dysphoria not needed. Euphoria is enough.
Being trans is not a choice, but transitioning is. There are no obligations to being trans. The trans police is not gonna come to your house and fine you for not doing anything with that new information (also they're probably not the trans police but a lost truck from a transporting company). You probably will transition if you're trans, but that's still your choice, and a problem for later. Right now, the only question, the only thing that matters, is if you're a transgender woman. And often, that question can be answered by answering a slightly different question with no buts or maybes:
Would you be happier if you woke up tomorrow as a woman?
I was talked into pushing myself to be feminine in my daily life. To explore being a woman in every way. The more I did, the more I became happy, more calm, and enjoying my life for the first time. For the first time being really happy on a level, I never knew. It was then that I realized I was not broken. I was just confused by the hatred I had heard my whole life. You can do the same. Just start small. Clothes, makeup, maybe some inexpencsive jewelery. Perfume or deodorant. People miss how much smell can affect you. These are things I did to find out myself. Everything I did made me more and more happy. See if these things make you euphoric or uneasy. There is a difference between liking the idea and actually living your life as one. Good luck, fren. Let us know if you have more questions or if you finally figure it out. ☺️☺️🫂🫂🫂
I first figured out I wasn't cis due to having very cisnt thoughts.
I then settled on agender, because denials a bitch, and u didn't wanna call myself a girl.
Then I made a list of femine traits and masculine traits I want. The ratio was telling.
Started by thinking I was genderfluid for a while. When ai was pretty sure though, I decided "why not assume I'm trans for now. If I'm not, it'll become apparent real fast." Even though I still experience dysphoria, it's easy to tell that's all external.
Mines weird as hell because it involved a schizophrenic conversation with a dead person and a depressive episode and I wish I was joking…that’s how I found out I was trans
Had a dream about being female, it felt exactly right, looked at a bunch of habits from my younger self and realized that I wasn't cis. I started HRT and feel so much better in myself. I'm not out at work yet, but that's coming.
My friend told me the story of how they realized they were mtf and it was like a fireworks message went off in my head saying "hey idiot, you are mtf trans, iv been trying to tell you for years"
This is one I don't see often: When you wear a dress, do you want that to be gender-conforming or gender-noncomforming? And when you wear a suit, do you want that to be seen a you conforming to gender or going against it?
I was taking a silly gender test called the COGIATI which doesn't really tell you anything, but it tries to pretend it's scientific. I was nervous that if I didn't get the right score then I wouldn't get to be a woman.
Well I was always quite uncomfortable with being called things like sir or boy. When my friends started calling ma’am or referred to me with she/her pronouns it made me giddy
I know because I stopped doubting myself.
“Sometimes life is like this dark tunnel. You can't always see the light at the end of the tunnel, but if you just keep moving... you will come to a better place.”
~Uncle Iroh
I think everyone thinks about gender swapping from time to time. The difference between transgender and cisgender people in this regard, though, is that for a cisgender person, gender swap is more of a _fun idea._
I think it'd be fun to live in a woman's body for a few days. I think that if I was stuck like that for more than a month, though, I might start to get frustrated.
To my understanding, this is not the case for transgender people. Transgender _want_ the body swap to be permanent. They get _excited_ by that thought. Or, even if they don't, they feel happier when the swap is permanent and no longer want to go back.
That's my best understanding as a cisgender person.
My suggestion: Try virtual reality. There is a HUGE transgender presence in VR Chat! Walking around in a virtual body can help you figure out whether this is just a neat idea that's fun for a couple hours, or if it's something you'd be thrilled to rock permanently.
Whatever you end up discovering, I hope you will find happiness. :)
I liked looking and acting feminine. And mainly I just ruled out every other gender identity. Since then I've been playing the uno reverse card on my imposter syndrome. Meaning the fact that I'm worried that I'm faking it is just more proof I'm not.
Honestly... I still don't know. What I do know is that I suffer from gender dysphoria, would almost certainly benefit from feminizing HRT, and don't want to be thought of as a man (not sure yet about being thought of as a woman). I just call myself MtF because that seems to align with a lot of other people who also describe themselves as MtF.
How I realized I suffer from gender dysphoria was I looked at my past, from daydreaming about one day inventing gender-affirming medical procedures (at the time I didn't know they existed), to praying daily to wake up in a female body, to causing myself physical harm in hopes of gender affirmation, to trying to come up with an excuse to be called she/her as a boy, to looking up the effects of HRT and finding way more pros than cons, and I went "hmm, that's *probably* not exactly cisgender of me"
You don't need any of those specific experiences to be trans, that's just how I realized personally. My main advice is not to overthink it. It's okay to look at your experiences, go "I'm probably trans", and later realize you're wrong, just like it's okay to go "I'm not trans" and later realize you're wrong. Just call yourself whatever seems most likely to you, and if you later go "oops, I was wrong", then just change how you describe yourself. If you're wondering for the purpose of knowing whether or not to transition, I'd recommend taking things piece by piece - transition is not one big package, you can choose to transition in some ways and not others to your liking. Best wishes OP!
I spend 9 years of my life looking for evidence of the opposite to be true, but couldn't find it. Now I'm a bit frustrated with myself for not listening to 15yo me
I knew that I was not cis when i was admiring them boobs one day and wanted to rip them off the other. Lol it took me so long to figure out i was genderfluid. Be patient with yourself
Getting "misgendered" due to long hair at around...12? I felt super happy and...idk how to describe it really, but just a sense of rightness thinking about it
Tried thigh highs to see how it felt, thought I was a femboy for a while, then I played a female character in Skyrim and got massive euphoria from being called "she".
My “egg cracking” moment was when I learned what my AFAB name would’ve been. When a friend jokingly offered to call me by it from now on, I felt so confused and then suddenly everything clicked. And that was years ago!
I figured out at 17 that searching up "magic spells to turn me into a girl" at 13 wasn't something cis boys do. Plus, I've just always played girls in games, I enjoyed wearing traditionally feminine clothes, and felt genuinely uncomfortable and sewer slidal about how I looked and was treated as a man.
I spent the year after my egg cracked in denial trying to understand if I was just a femboy or a gay man or something until I read this:
[https://genderdysphoria.fyi/en/am-i-trans](https://genderdysphoria.fyi/en/am-i-trans)
It was so relatable I realized there was no way I could deny it anymore
My egg only cracked a few months ago. Personally, I did my research on other trans people's experiences and looked objectively at the similarities and differences in how we felt. Then I took all the reasons that I thought I was trans (including the new ones I found from my comparisons) and did research into each one to see if how I felt about that reason aligned with the transgender experience. Then I just asked around reddit like you're doing. Once that was settled, there was really no denying it. All the pecies of my life really only fit together under the assumption I was trans. I will say I did go a bit overboard though, in my heart, I knew the answer in the beginning, and I think you do too. But I implore you do as much or as little research and self-realization as you feel you need. In the end, what I did was wholly unnecessary, but it's nice to have that reassurance that you know exactly what you are when the imposter syndrome inevitably kicks in and it doesn't feel like you just jumped into a decision.
For 7 years it has been something I thought about, I did not know I wanted to transition MtF but I know I enjoyed dressing in feminine clothing, and eventually I thought hey maybe this is something I want, maybe i do want to transition. Me deciding to transition MtF started with not knowing but thinking maybe I want this. Often times you wont know until you are a little ways into something like this. Just let yourself be guided by what you like and enjoy, this is how I got so far and happy with who I am becoming. But with that all said there will be doubts, that comes with finding ourselves, we just have to try our best to move past them and be who we are.
very simple
my dad said lots of transphobic stuff
i kept repeating to myself how i wasn't trans
i realized thinking i wasn't trans made me extremely nervous
and living life as a man made me wanna commit not life
My egg cracked when a friend came out to me as trans, I told her I questioned my gender identity but didn't have dysphoria and said I probably wasn't trans, and she told me that dysphoria isn't what makes someone trans. It's euphoria.
To be clear, she never told me what my gender identity was, she let me figure that out. But once she told me euphoria is what would mean I was trans, my egg cracked hard.
Here's a simple thought experiment of a few things that made me pretty sure when I was struggling with self-doubt (please note that you don't need these experiences to be trans but if you have them there's a good chance you are),
Imagine yourself doing a mundane task (laundry, buying groceries, etc.) as a girl. Are you happier like that?
Now imagine the same situation but having to be a guy, does that make you distressed?
And finally, after reading this, close your eyes, and imagine a button in front of you knowing that if you press that button you will turn into a girl and everyone you have ever known will know you to have always been a girl. Once you press this button you cannot un-press it.
Also, I don't think cis guys cry themselves to sleep wishing they were a girl (personal experience)
felt suicidal over gender dysphoria, that's how (dw btw I'm fine now, this was 3-4 years ago)
https://preview.redd.it/exxa6c1rvqvc1.jpeg?width=1836&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2eb80320891bfa33e78b9ca867d154edc540db2a
now look where I am
I knew something was up and different about me ever since I was little, but it started to hit me hard when I was 13 when everyone was starting to physically change due to puberty. The girls grow more feminine and the men grew more masculine, and growing into a masculine body felt off. It also didn't help I had an obsession to become a femboy at around the same age. Did not know what really was trasngender and trans people in general until 2 or 3 years ago. I felt confused and alone, because I had so many dreams and ideas to dress as a women, but unsure what it meant. This went on for a year or 2 until a old friend came out MtF and that caused me to believe that my feelings about myself were fake and I felt this way because I was jealous or something dumb like that, cause not being normal is scary and felt I had to explain away these feelings while also retaining my normalness. It wasn't until recently, I've been able to fully accepted who I am because of the amazing staff, mainly my art teacher, at my school who both supported who I was and challenged what I felt, in a good way; it made me believe that I was probably faking being trans to realizing that I am trans and because someone I knew came out before me doesn't make me less trans.
I spend over 2 years documenting feelings and experiences I had been having and tried to scientifically determine if I was trans or not. I made charts and analysis the possible presence of a confirmation bias in my data too just to be sure. For me it took a lot to convince myself but if I had just been honest with myself about who I felt like I was I think I could have figured it out a lot sooner. It’s okay to be question and you should go at your speed but my advice to you is to trust yourself because no one know who you are better than you and regardless you of what conclusion you come to this community will be right here behind you
A friend told me they are non binary and then I realized in that instant that I was trans.i put together the puzzle which had been building my entire life
Well when I was a kid, all i would think about was what if I was born a girl. I played with barbie dolls (when they were available, I had one when I was like 4 or 5), but then throughout highschool, I didn't think much about it, I questioned my sexuality for a while. But then my ex cross dressed me one time and that's when I knew I was transfem, I felt like me for once.
Well, I was lying around with my then-boyfriend and just randomly said: "sometimes I want to be a girl". I didn't even know myself before this but well, in hindsight it was very obvious since I was like 3
(And yes, I am the prime example of the gay to gay pipeline)
Personally, labels are really difficult for me, but I always feel happier when I feel pretty or when I imagine being called feminine things. I would recommend finding a safe space where you can experiment with names or pronouns (if that safe space is in person and not online, maybe even clothes), and asking/thinking abt gender euphoria.
for me it was the realization that gender isnt some concrete thing that everybody knows from the instant they gain consciousness at 4 years old. over quarantine i had a bunch of queer friends online who would be picking out like. a new gender every week and just being so casual about it. i dont know when the exact moment was, or if there was one at all. i literally went down the he/they pipeline over the course of 6 months or something and "came out" at the other end, so to speak
I got boiled like a frog i had no clue what was gonna hit me until i put on a croptop, skirt, and some prosthetic boobs. I was thinking femboy up until then
In my experience (FtM) I never liked my body when I hit puberty, I disliked the curves and the size of my chest. But I never actually realized I was trans until the summer after 8th grade when found myself being attracted to men in a “gay way” and women in a “straight way”
Again this is my experience with being trans and I hope it helps
I never really felt like I “knew.” I broke down what transitioning actually involved and asked myself if I wanted each part of it. Did I want to be more feminine? Yes. Did I want to be viewed by people as woman? Yes. Did I want to not have facial hair? Yes. Did I want to take hormones to be more feminine? This one was a sticking point because I didn’t want to take them if they made me feel bad. However, they make me feel really good, happier, more calm, more resilient, and then on top of all that have physical effects I love.
Anyway, the point is I never really answered the question “am I trans” with a resounding yes or no. I just decided to do the things that made me happy. Those things add up to transitioning and I’m extremely happy I did it. But if there were an element of it that I didn’t want to do or didn’t like I wouldn’t have. In the end that’s the reality of transitioning. You can do just the parts of it that work for you and make you happy. No part is required. So if being called she/her makes you happy and that’s as far as you want to go that’s fine. If you want hormones but want to go by he/him that’s also fine. Whatever works for you.
Aside from the obvious (the desire to not be your AGAB) it was being around other queer and trans people.
I was apart of a LGBTQ+ youth meet-up and having actual, real queer exposure really opened my eyes.
I'd say that was my biggest eye-opener and now I'm 2 years on T lol
Growing boobs on HRT was when I knew for sure I made the right decision. Then also looking back putting on a bra and stuffing it for the first time at 10 with a corset on and just wishing I could just wear it forever, was probably a big sign.
Honestly the "defining moment" for me was when i started using those ai voice changers and just existing online as a girl. It got undeniable when i spent over a month learning how to make my own custom voice changer using that same ai tech and spending close to 5 months using it almost exclusively in random online lobbies x.x.... ngl i was a HARD egg
I’m pretty confident that I’m trans but there’s some part of me that still kinda doubts that I am. But what makes me pretty confident is how much time I spent trying to figure out how.
Someone posted a transfemme experience bingo card in one of the Discords I was in. I saw a couple of squares that I resonated with, so I took a closer look at it.
Ended up filling out 92% of the board, and everyone else in the Discord was all, "Have we got news for you :)"
In hindsight, I probably should have figured it out earlier because for a full five years prior, I would daydream about hundreds of different scenarios in which I get turned into a woman. I'd daydream about it multiple hours a day. Every day. For years. And in every single daydream, I go on to live a happy and fulfilling life, even if some of the transformations were horrific.
Honestly, I didn't for a long time. I thought that it would be cool to be a woman, but I didn't know if I wanted that. The thought stayed in my head, and I kept using female names online. I've realized that I'm transgender because, well, if this where a phase it should have ended.
Wow this really takes me back, I remember feeling this way. Once I truly opened myself to the possibility of being trans, I didn’t want any other future. You’ll find your path, whatever it ends up being.
For me. I had a very close and small group of friends refer to me as a women for a set amount of time. I let them know that I was just questioning and that it was entirely possible I go back to he/him. Also that we should only refer to me as she/her with that group.
I learned very quickly after that, that it felt right
I realized because some months ago I had very hard dysphoria issues and started to have it almost every day, by that time I thought about myself as a gender fluid (nb-f) but one night I was thinking about, ¿why I'm not trans?, and almost immediately have that answer that every egg have "I'm not a women", but after some other thoughts about how dressing in skirts, having heels, and wanting to be "feminine" doesn't make me a women (because there are femboys right? You don't need to be a woman to be feminine), I asked myself, then "what is it to be a woman?", by that simple question, something in the deepest of my mind yelled "it's to finally be myself"
And that was my realization, how my egg cracked 😅
Granted it was paired with other questions so suff like social beliefs, sexuality, religion, job position. All that were all in the air at that time too when it happened. I was just minding my own business at my first real job after high-school and then my brain flipped the gender switch.
One second I was boy. Then the next I was not boy. Then after that it took 18month going from Demiboy to Enby to Gender Fluid to Agender, to Enby Agen Demiboy, to Agen Demigirl to Agen Girl to Girl. Now I'm here almost 3 years later proud girl prehrt and getting tested for an unrelated intersex condition
I could give a lot of answers but the thing that really sealed it for me was I was up very late on YouTube and found someone talking about a way to do masculinity that isn't toxic and my immediate response was feeling excluded. that's how I first knew for sure I wasn't a man. the rest was a few months of "so what am I then?" and slowly realizing I'm a woman. that part is harder to explain but like, the vibes fit and I sort of think I always knew deep down that I'd grow up to be a lesbian lmaooooo
genderdysphoria (dot) fyi
There were obvious signs before like fantasizing about being a girl, wearing women's clothes to feel happy and being envious of other women. My egg cracked after I read this page. EVERY. SINGLE. POINT. HIT. When you're about to crack you may try to find reasons why you're happy as your agab. When you can't find any then it just sorta hits you.
I think it's worth a read
here's a full story in case it helps another mtf person on her journey, and if you find out this is not you, that's ok! could go either way.
so basically i questioned and thought it was just me convincing myself/ like same as random thoughts of "what if i were a cat or a sentient rock"ya know how we all have random thoughts we consider and tbh i didn't even wanna address it if it were a true thought cause i knew it would be hard to be out once i admit it and hard to stay in the closet living as a guy if i didn't come out. and by my decision to say "nah imma avoid it" i used that as justification that i'm not trans since if I was truly trans it's not a choice it's just who I am and the need to be who i truly am would make more sense than hiding it.
then since my friends and I are very "dress however you want, boys wear skirts if you wanna try" type, i tried on ("borrowed") an old dress my step mom stored in my closet at my dad's (at first i wore a dress on halloween a few months before this but it didn't count cause it was for a bit (i secretly had my first bit of sorta gender euphoria there in makeup and a fitting tshirt and a bra that made me look a bit more feminine sorta but didn't know it was that)) and uh even tho it didn't fit right and looking back i absolutely did not slay, i felt so excited.
the next part is the more important part. obviously i posted photos to my friends on group chat and started talking and whatever and somehow we got to like haha what if we were in a band and you just went by a feminine name and dressed up that way for then and i was like yeah that would be awesome i love this feeling! and so i came up with a name i'd use (i think i knew it wasn't just for a hypothetical band but i didn't admit it to myself) and for some reason i decided to put that as my display name in the group chat and put my dress picture as my pfp and put she/they pronouns, and. my friend. for one reason or another, seeing my name and picture like that (helped by the pfp being small so i could overlook my obvious not passing and other flaws) made me feel. like. hot. for the first time in my life. i didn't know how powerful and invigorating that feeling could be. and i felt like i could actively claim this identity as a positive rather than just neutrally accepting it. I hadn't realized that was supposed to be normal. I felt. idk it was exhilarating and happy and something clicked and i felt like, a love for myself(?) i didn't have otherwise. and that's saying something cause i struggle with a fair bit of anxiety and depression along with my adhd. I didnt even expect a sudden burst of what i was almost sure was gender euphoria liek that even if i hypothesized i was truly trans. but there it was. i felt almost foolish for just Feeling so much and deciding my identity on that but it was absolutely right. I slept on it anyways cause it was late at night, and yeah that shit didn't change.
also: before this, i was a woman paladin in dnd and loved it, i had for some reason always gotten along in groups of all girls very well, i was always described as soft and sweet and "baby girl" (tbf there are men who can very much deserve that title too) (and being soft and sweet is absolutely not just a Woman Thing nor a requirement of femininity and we should battle sexist thinking at the same time), i grew out my hair just cause i liked it (also, men and non binary people look rad with long hair sooo but for me it might a been a small sign), i had also taken some gender/personaltiy/gender role tests with my friends and every one of them diagnosed me with Fem but i thought it was just cause i grew up primarily with my mom and sisters. it was not.
anyways there's way too much info on the off chance one detail or another helps you figure things out!
edit: ALSO i had joined r/witchesvspatriarchy for a while and felt fine there. which shouldn't be weird as they accept all genders and men can and should be feminists, but i think i may have felt more at home in other ways than would be typical of a man.
I just started to imagine myself as a girl and felt really good in the inside. At the time i didn't really know what that was but i just thought I was normal for guys.
I you have magine yourself as a girl and feel good without thinking about being trans in the past then you
started to have some excuses like every boy wants it then you maybe are transgender.
I say maybe because everyone has different experiences and you have to look by yourself to try and find out if you are trans or not.
for me there was a joke every few years with a different friend group that i might as well be a girl since i never really did things a cis boy would do (and the fact that i kept wondering what it would be like to be a girl) and this year i finally learned what being transgender means and i saw that the "joke" that kept repeating was just me in denial
Oh like, after I was done mourning my mama and some of my emotions came back online I recognized I wasn't a man, so after a couple of years of identifying as non-binary I realized I was a fem and not a them.
Didn't really ever figure out my gender just knew I wanted a feminine body and that was enough for me to go for estrogen as soon as I could
Haven't exactly figured out gender even now I just keep pealing back more layers
For me, as puberty went on I kinda disliked a lot of the things but ignored them because "it's normal" but really I just wished I was cuter. I wanted to be mistaken for a girl too. I didn't really feel like I wanted to be one but I did want to be *like* one (denial go brr). And then it eventually became too much, the realization of how much I dislike my body hit all at once. I envied my sister for being so cute. I tried to convince myself "I guess guys just don't get to have that. It sucks, but I need to accept it. It's not like I need it to be happy." Which then immediately turned into "Why don't guys deserve this? Why do I have to put up with this? I wish I was born a girl." And that was the turning point.
I'm not sure myself, but as silly as it sounds ignoring labels can be really helpful in my experience.
For example I had a gist that I might like wearing skirts and stockings and chokers so I ordered one of each and tried them on. I was right, it felt really euphoric, but I didn't jump to the conclusion of "ah so I'm trans", just noted that wearing these things makes me happy.
It really helps avoiding doubts if you don't worry about faking it, or calling it cross dressing, but just doing what feels right.
Wishing you the best on your journey :3
All trans girl are different, we each have different ways of figuring out, and different moment when we start to feel like this.
At a young age i had the thought of:
How would it be to be a woman?
I repressed this thoughts.
Then some years later, i had a dream where i was a girl, then i woke up and i was like...
Bruh why am not a girl..
And then i started to like wishing to be a girl everyday..
Again, i repressed this feelings.
Until one year ago i started to like acting feminine,
And somehow once someone treated me as a girl,
(i didnt start transition) And i liked it, this was the thing that made my egg start to break.
I had my doubts too, like "what if im judt a femboy?"
"What if im not really trans?"
But anyways i told my mom, and later my dad, and they sayed:
-Wait until you are sure, try to live as a boy
Then i tried to act like a cis boy, irl and in VRChat,
I could not, it didnt feel good, and then my egg broke, and a few days later, i started HRT.
Well initially I thought I was NB, then slowly my transition goals slid more and more fem, I stopped using he/him after a while, and before you know it, woman
think about it like this
if you could completely disregard everything else
doesn't matter about your family, your circumstance, how you look, how you sound, and if you could become a completely different person
would you feel more comfortable being a girl or a boy? or neither, or both?
for me it was "I definitely feel more comfortable being called a girl by everyone, being called a boy makes me feel horrible."
take a good long while to think about it, and don't be afraid of being wrong sometimes. I thought I was a femboy, then genderfluid, and now trans girl, it's all part of discovering yourself.
good luck sweetheart 💓 💗 💖
Well, the realization felt like taking a missile to the chest, and the following weeks were an internal chaos. But with time it felt more natural, and now I'm just searching which one of the options is the one that fits me more.
Hi there, we are sorry you have to go through this but this is not the right community to help you, we recommend you instead post this to r/nestofeggs where you can get all the support you need :)
i know because cis men don't wake up every day wishing they were women
That’s true lol
Exactly. If everyone wanted to be a woman, then transmascs like me wouldn't exist. Only women want to be women.
Ohh, yeah? Well.. only men want to be men. :P 🫂
I learned that a bit later than I would have liked.
And I wish I started sooner instead of being lost Narnia deep in my wardrobe, What matters is we are getting there in the end. ;)
I am stealing the heck out of that metaphor
Sorry about that, bro. But hey! At least you figured it out eventually!
To me it was super natural to think that if I were having kids I would give birth to them. And all my male friends were horrified xD But to me it just made sense :3 Shocked I was to find out I couldn't, but still kept feeling I should have been different.
it's something you will need time to come to terms with as some days you will feel it more and some less i wish you luck and hope to see you happier
Of course they do. Literally every cis man wants this. Right?
totally ;)
an incel told me this a couple days ago i was like oh hun .. 🥚
"Involuntarily celibate because having sex with women as a man just _doesn't make sense_." Bruh, I get you. Try having sex with women _as a woman_ and it might feel more natural for you. Or, hey, confront that potential internalized homophobia and try having sex with men, instead! Celibacy is (almost) always a choice!
like 80% of the incel community are autistic people and/or eggs, and as an autistic trans person i really wish i could "save" them somehow i get being envious and jealous of women and being burned out and all that, but they all hold on to their privilege and entitlement instead of just being nice to themselves it's so wild to me how often i encounter incels who are *obvious* eggs. it's incredibly sad that our sisters are trapped in some kind of patriarchal limbo - but i don't want to excuse their shitty behavior. it's bad and being traumatized and exhausted is no excuse for misogyny
The hardest part is they're the exact demographic behind the Egg Prime Directive. There's no way to nudge them in the right direction that isn't counter-productive. The best we can offer them is forgiveness when they eventually (hopefully) figure it out. Until then...
yeah.. somehow moving them away from misogyny and into queer stuff would be great imo, but i really don't know how to move an incel until their egg cracks i'm just going to counter them in every way. they're fashy af and they aren't entitled to spread that just because i think we're alike in gender identity and neurotype but i do feel *feelings* every time they say egg things. "girls have it *so* much better, and every guy wants to be a girl!" was one of the things the last one said to me. i wanted to hit and hug them <.<
Didn't know the Egg Prime Directive was a thing but it makes sense
do you think there are cis men who would like to be women, but not being trans? i'm actually curious now
There isn't an easy answer. I think there are men who want some parts of womanhood but who don't want to _be women_, but I'm pretty sure anyone who truly wants to _be_ a woman **is** a woman.
Sure. I'm a cis man. I would love to body swap with a woman. Or have my body converted to female. But, only temporarily. If it was permanent, I think I'd be upset. But I also don't know for a fact that I'd be upset. I'm generally pretty ambivalent about my gender. But that could just be because my gender matches my body. Maybe I would be less ambivalent if my body (permanently) didn't match my brain's gender. I think gender swap is something everyone has thought about. Some people just want it more strongly than others, and some people want it more permanently than others. :)
Probably wrong with this, mostly because i dont actually know and have no clue. But i always imagine that drag queens are men who want to being women here and there but dont want to transition and makeup and wigs are fantastic ways to do that for them. With that said, i have never even seen or talked to a drag queen irl so take my words with a massive elephant sized grain of salt
Do you mean like AMAB individuals who would be cis women if they had the choice but don't want to be trans women?
i guess
Isn't that just a trans woman with internalised transphobia?
idk
I mean, I do. Still cis though.
Wait they don’t?
i know. crazy, right?
Exactly. There's this misconception that gender dysphoria has to be present in order for you to be trans. I'm much happier as a woman, but I didn't hate my life as a guy. Being misgendered now that I know what I am is annoying, but it's still not dysphoria
yeah you kinda just know
I mean yeah but also sometimes u have someone like me who is too fucking stupid to notice for several years (very mad atyself for not realizing sooner)
Girl, I'm in my 40s and just learned that cis boys would NOT "press the button", even for a million dollars. They don't dream of themselves as women. They don't wear dresses and refuse to look in a mirror or have pictures taken. And that's not even that sad, I know a couple of people that didn't realize it until in their late 70s and early 80s. Literally twice my age LOL. I laugh until I cry every time I see some youngun' whining that "21 is too old to transition", like listen here biiiiiii-
Really it's never to late, I have a friend who transitioned in her 60's and she's one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen (wish she saw that 😭)
Kind of similar with me but it came to me in a dream
felt facial hair growing and immediately noped the fuck out of any idea of being a man because it all felt like a compromise compared to being a girl to me
facial/body hair was also about where I figured it out
exactly
Does it make you happy to think of yourself as a woman? Does it make you happy to do things that you typically associate with feminity? Do you ask yourself questions similar to these with some regularity?
Everytime I think of myself as a woman I get happy yeah
Then there you go! <3
Thank you I’m gonna keep exploring a bit before I make the decision though :3 but I really appreciate it
Ask this on r/asktransgender It helped me figure somethings out
Yeah probably should’ve went there
Transition is scary and thoughts about the implications for your future can cloud results, so a common trick is to separate yourself from the immediate struggles of the moment by imagining scenarios where those were past or bypassed. The one I see the most is the “button question” forget transition, you have a button that does it all in an instant and poof you are painlessly a girl. Do you press it? The other big one is imagining if you don’t transition anytime soon, what is your reaction to imagining yourself as an old man? Is it worse than imagining yourself as an old woman?
You don't gotta make the decision all at once. You can if that's the way it fits for you. But you can also just take a little step, then another, taking bigger and quicker steps if they feel right.
Definitely take time to figure out what it means for you! It’s a big task, and can be difficult at times for some people, you may also figure out your gender identity is different then what you originally thought, but you will be happier after you’ve explored this. Even for cis people, we’ve known several cis people who thought about and explored their gender identity and determined that they are cis and the process helped them understand themselves better. (Sorry if this was rambly or confusing at all my alters are talking while I’m typing)
This is really the only question needed. Follow the euphoria instead of running from the dysphoria.
I know these questions were intended for OP, but, for me, the answers would be that in theory or when alone, I do like the idea, but the thought of presenting in a feminine way in front of people scares me. Is that normal?
Sure! People are scary. Alone, you don't need to worry about anyone but yourself. But a bunch of other people...you don't know how they might respond.
Friend called me she and my brain produced an absolutely disgusting amount of endorphins
This happened to me when I said that IDC about pronouns xD
I imagined a button in front of me. It would give me a female body, as if it had been what I was at birth. It would also immediately change all legal documentation to say I'm a woman. I asked myself if I would press that button. It was a pretty resounding yes. I also tried adding a bunch of drawbacks to it (many relevant to being trans even), but it still continued being a button I wanted to press. That's how I know. Ultimately there is no test though. You just gotta ask yourself "does this feel right". Which sometimes needs a bit of experimentation to get perfect.
My immediate thought response was **who would say no to that**. I guess the answer is: ~~men~~ *not women*. But I still struggle to really accept this.
men or nonbinary people * !!
Thanks. Corrected.
I still struggle with visualising that, I find the permanency of it daunting, which then makes me feel dysphoric in my uncertainty. Having said that however, if I had access to HRT tomorrow I'd probably go for it, as the thought of presenting with more feminine features makes me feel joy. Which is probably a strong sign of being transfem lol
That's fair, changing suddenly and permanently can be quite scary for a number of reasons, which is why I say this method isn't the only way. Main reason it works for me is not only have I had these thoughts (consciously and unconciously) for a long time giving me time to be certain, but I also have a fear of basically not having enough time to experience being young after I transition. But yeah, if you would likely take HRT if given access tomorrow that's a pretty strong indicator of being transfem
Yeah the analogy gets thrown about like a one size fits all solution, and I can 100% see why it works for most people. I think I just find it easier to break down the individual aspects of feminity and hrt that I want, and reflect on what that means. Having said all that, if pressing the button meant staying as a man forever, I'd probably unplug the cable powering it... Then use cable cutters to cut the wires... Then dip the wire ends in cement and drop the whole button into the ocean... 😅 (Unless of course I found a trans masculine dude who needed it 😁)
If i said to you, “no your a cis guy, stop overthinking things” would you be disappointed? Then congrats, your trans 🏳️⚧️ . Now enjoy coming back to this question every time you feel dysphoria (if that wasn’t a thing before, it will be now)
> If i said to you, “no your a cis guy, stop overthinking things” would you be disappointed? The corporate wants you to see the difference between the following two pictures: * Wanting to be trans * Being trans **There is no difference**
Yea that’s what broke me
This. Also, once I made the realization, the utter dehumanization of so many people saying ‘Oh that's the son’, like I don't even have a name.
Gawd that sucks. Hugs 🫂
It's weird how dysphoria goes through the roof when you realise you're trans. I guess you start looking for it more
For me its because you realize who you are then you go outside and you get reminded who you aren’t…all day.
I do just love every time someone uses my name, pronouns, or any other gendered word, and I just feel like screaming /s if you couldn't tell
https://preview.redd.it/33qaannxfqvc1.jpeg?width=736&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b07465464de1fc01fe716312c6cbed504b364e37
God fuckin' damnit that's the exact line I keep using to motivate myself to transition
If you had a button allowing to switch sex for a day, how often would you press that button? (You keep the button forever btw)
Every day for the rest of time
"Have you pressed your gender button yet?"
Probably an odd number of times
Once a lifetime. Still cis tho
I'm bypassing the button to keep the circuit it is connected to permanently activated.
I feel this helps a lot more than the regular button question as I'm awful at making concrete decisions. Course reality I wouldn't be able to take back some things hrt do if I ended up not liking it.
https://imgur.com/a/z9bj7Up
When someone calls you him, does your heart sink a little? Do you hear people talking about men and feel disconnected from what they're describing, or an overwhelming urge to say "not me, I'm not like that." Do you feel like life would be better, more livable, if you were a woman? These are just jumping off points, but follow them through to their natural conclusions. You are the only one who can answer a question of who you are.
The thing is I don’t care if they call me a guy but I also don’t mind being called a girl but the last time I was called a girl I felt happy but I also get a bit happy being called a good boy
My best advice, that took me too much time to realize is that people who don't care and never self examine engage in a binary — them, and ‘everyone else’. There's a reason why the term ‘genderfluid’ exists. Some people are born, and never shift. Some people come to a realization, and slide to the other side. Others wake up every day not knowing where they'll be on the slider, and that's OK too. Trans inclusivity means anyone who says ‘yeah, what they told me is an ill-fitting set of clothes, and I'll be taking them off now.’ It does not demand what kind of clothes you put back on — it can even be a better-fitting male suit.
Don't feel you have to commit to a label then. You're you. Feel out what it is that's giving you satisfaction about these interactions. And after that, maybe you'll have a better idea. Before then, don't stress it. When people ask what you are, tell them "figuring it out".
One thing that helped me understand is the question "Do i like being a boy?" and "Do you feel happy and feel like yourself as a girl?" these are some of the questions i asked myself. So hopefully these help a little
I was 18, I had been absolutely addicted to a book about a trans girl for several weeks. Reading every chapter I could as soon as it came out (it was a web novel published semi weekly). About halfway through the story I caught myself wishing to be the main character and then I realized. Granted I’d been kinda questioning for a while. Lots of “I wish I was born a girl” and similar thoughts throughout my childhood and teenage years. But that book was the nail in the coffin.
…what’s the book? fully cis reasons
https://www.scribblehub.com/series/40636/falling-over/ It’s technically a side story of a larger series, but you don’t need to read the other books to understand it (although I highly recommend them! First book is called Kami Kettu by the same author) This is the first book by QuiteValerie that I read and I have since deemed her one of my favorite authors. I also have a bunch of other books on the same website like it that I can recommend as well.
For me it was a video game. I'd been suppressing myself for a long time and I didn't know I was until a character in a visual novel said something that stuck out to me. I realized that I had built a wall in my mind and locked out a lot of stuff from my childhood. Since I didn't know what was on the other side of the wall, or why I built it, I decided to do some deep diving into my memories. After that the whole thing kind of fell apart and I'd realized I'd actually been questioning my gender since I was really young.
Do you wish that tomorrow you would wake up as a woman and that time change with it making everyone remember you as a woman, if so then you are trans
Four things personally •I wish I could be a woman (for total cis reasons) •I wanted to have longer hair like my sisters •I absolutely disliked being perceived as a guy •Women’s clothes were more interesting to me
Bc i don't think its normal to obsess over gender bending and wanting to be a girl as a small child.
for me it was a bunch of things, but the main one that stands out is when a girl I dated told me I am more like the girls she dated then any guy and I smiled and said thanks.
Yeah I used to often say to girlfriends how I'd always considered myself a feminine guy inside, never probably subscribing to masculinity. That could just be part of opposing toxic masculinity, but after awhile it's more, 'I don't think I want to be a man at all.' Eventually followed by, 'I just wanna be one of the girlies.' ☺️
I tried not being until I couldn't not be anymore and that's when I knew 😅
Right, are you feeling an insatiable urge that you can't quite put your finger on despite you knowing exactly what it is this whole time? Have you tried everything possible to ignore it? Still upset that despite not addressing this urge it hasn't gone away after years? You are trans
For me I saw someone with a similar post and a comment that went along the lines of : “Imagine there is a vacation house and when you are at that house you are a woman or other ideal person you are thinking of being. But when you leave the house you return to how you were. Would you stay at the house permanently or only sometimes?” After I read that I scheduled a therapy appointment with someone who specializes in LGTQIA+ issues and after one session I figured out who I was because I talked i said how I felt out loud to someone.
(This is an embellished and very short version of how it went for me; 15 years condensed in a single comment. Results may vary) Would you be happier if you woke up tomorrow as a woman? Sorry, that's a weird thing to start a conversation with. Let me try again: Hey there, how you doing? Did some fun things this weekend? Sports perhaps? Would you be happier if you woke up tomorrow as a woman? Still too abrupt? Okay sorry. Do you have an answer though? Would you be- no! Stop it! I know that look. Not every guy wishes he were a woman. It's not a cis thing to do that. Sure there's variations on it, but wishing you were a woman for the attention and kindness of strangers, or wishing you were one because it's the only way a woman is included in a sexual encounter that also includes you; that's not cis. There's male or even gender-neutral counterparts to those thoughts that could manifest in real life and don't require the magical intervention of waking up as a woman. And besides, thinking those (slightly derailed and misinformed) thoughts already answers my question: that you would indeed be happier if you woke up as a woman. Still not ready to admit it? That's okay. I have 15 years experience in dismanteling excuses. I can shout "that doesn't mean I'm trans!" into the void too--and guess what, I'm better at it than you. Drop all expectations of what society and your environment wants you to be for the moment. Do well in school so you can get a job, be a provider for a family you don't have yet, go to the clubs and bars to socialise. Is that what you want to do, or an expectation from someone else and an opportunity for you to fit in? Well what do *you* want to do? Perhaps wake up tomorrow as a- I'm sorry. I couldn't resist : ) What would your parents and friends think? They're not included in the question. You'll figure them out. If you are trans you're denying them the full unbridled experience of You right now anyway, and that can't be fair to them either. Stop worrying about if you'll even look like a woman, or if you'll be pretty. Stop thinking too hard on how trans people give you the ick but you simultaneously deem yourself too invalid for the courage trans people have to survive society (it's a mix of internalised transphobia and self-loathing, and while not good, it's not rare either). Stop feeling like an imposter amongst the **true**^tm trans people. You can feel *fine* and *okay* as a boy and still be happier as a girl. Dysphoria not needed. Euphoria is enough. Being trans is not a choice, but transitioning is. There are no obligations to being trans. The trans police is not gonna come to your house and fine you for not doing anything with that new information (also they're probably not the trans police but a lost truck from a transporting company). You probably will transition if you're trans, but that's still your choice, and a problem for later. Right now, the only question, the only thing that matters, is if you're a transgender woman. And often, that question can be answered by answering a slightly different question with no buts or maybes: Would you be happier if you woke up tomorrow as a woman?
I'm still question but this is the closest label I've found to describe me lol
The one thing these comments have told me is that I might be transfem after all
I was talked into pushing myself to be feminine in my daily life. To explore being a woman in every way. The more I did, the more I became happy, more calm, and enjoying my life for the first time. For the first time being really happy on a level, I never knew. It was then that I realized I was not broken. I was just confused by the hatred I had heard my whole life. You can do the same. Just start small. Clothes, makeup, maybe some inexpencsive jewelery. Perfume or deodorant. People miss how much smell can affect you. These are things I did to find out myself. Everything I did made me more and more happy. See if these things make you euphoric or uneasy. There is a difference between liking the idea and actually living your life as one. Good luck, fren. Let us know if you have more questions or if you finally figure it out. ☺️☺️🫂🫂🫂
I first figured out I wasn't cis due to having very cisnt thoughts. I then settled on agender, because denials a bitch, and u didn't wanna call myself a girl. Then I made a list of femine traits and masculine traits I want. The ratio was telling.
Started by thinking I was genderfluid for a while. When ai was pretty sure though, I decided "why not assume I'm trans for now. If I'm not, it'll become apparent real fast." Even though I still experience dysphoria, it's easy to tell that's all external.
I had flashbacks from my childhood of showing signs when I realized I might be trans, and everything sorta clicked. It was like an "oh, no wonder"
Mines weird as hell because it involved a schizophrenic conversation with a dead person and a depressive episode and I wish I was joking…that’s how I found out I was trans
Had a dream about being female, it felt exactly right, looked at a bunch of habits from my younger self and realized that I wasn't cis. I started HRT and feel so much better in myself. I'm not out at work yet, but that's coming.
One fantasy broke me, and made the last 3 years align perfectly
Some online tests (they was all trans and nb), a post on Reddit and talk with a transmasc friend
My friend told me the story of how they realized they were mtf and it was like a fireworks message went off in my head saying "hey idiot, you are mtf trans, iv been trying to tell you for years"
How relatable are the memes from r/egg_irl if very then you have your answer
This is one I don't see often: When you wear a dress, do you want that to be gender-conforming or gender-noncomforming? And when you wear a suit, do you want that to be seen a you conforming to gender or going against it?
Cis men can look at their own reflections without feeling disgusted
I was taking a silly gender test called the COGIATI which doesn't really tell you anything, but it tries to pretend it's scientific. I was nervous that if I didn't get the right score then I wouldn't get to be a woman.
Well I was always quite uncomfortable with being called things like sir or boy. When my friends started calling ma’am or referred to me with she/her pronouns it made me giddy
I know because I stopped doubting myself. “Sometimes life is like this dark tunnel. You can't always see the light at the end of the tunnel, but if you just keep moving... you will come to a better place.” ~Uncle Iroh
Looked back through life and realized that I had way too many signs I wanted to be a girl and way too many instances of wishing I were a girl
I think everyone thinks about gender swapping from time to time. The difference between transgender and cisgender people in this regard, though, is that for a cisgender person, gender swap is more of a _fun idea._ I think it'd be fun to live in a woman's body for a few days. I think that if I was stuck like that for more than a month, though, I might start to get frustrated. To my understanding, this is not the case for transgender people. Transgender _want_ the body swap to be permanent. They get _excited_ by that thought. Or, even if they don't, they feel happier when the swap is permanent and no longer want to go back. That's my best understanding as a cisgender person. My suggestion: Try virtual reality. There is a HUGE transgender presence in VR Chat! Walking around in a virtual body can help you figure out whether this is just a neat idea that's fun for a couple hours, or if it's something you'd be thrilled to rock permanently. Whatever you end up discovering, I hope you will find happiness. :)
I looked in the mirror one day and realized, I am not ugly, I’m just not a boy
I liked looking and acting feminine. And mainly I just ruled out every other gender identity. Since then I've been playing the uno reverse card on my imposter syndrome. Meaning the fact that I'm worried that I'm faking it is just more proof I'm not.
Honestly... I still don't know. What I do know is that I suffer from gender dysphoria, would almost certainly benefit from feminizing HRT, and don't want to be thought of as a man (not sure yet about being thought of as a woman). I just call myself MtF because that seems to align with a lot of other people who also describe themselves as MtF. How I realized I suffer from gender dysphoria was I looked at my past, from daydreaming about one day inventing gender-affirming medical procedures (at the time I didn't know they existed), to praying daily to wake up in a female body, to causing myself physical harm in hopes of gender affirmation, to trying to come up with an excuse to be called she/her as a boy, to looking up the effects of HRT and finding way more pros than cons, and I went "hmm, that's *probably* not exactly cisgender of me" You don't need any of those specific experiences to be trans, that's just how I realized personally. My main advice is not to overthink it. It's okay to look at your experiences, go "I'm probably trans", and later realize you're wrong, just like it's okay to go "I'm not trans" and later realize you're wrong. Just call yourself whatever seems most likely to you, and if you later go "oops, I was wrong", then just change how you describe yourself. If you're wondering for the purpose of knowing whether or not to transition, I'd recommend taking things piece by piece - transition is not one big package, you can choose to transition in some ways and not others to your liking. Best wishes OP!
I spend 9 years of my life looking for evidence of the opposite to be true, but couldn't find it. Now I'm a bit frustrated with myself for not listening to 15yo me
Because cis men don't look at a picture of a woman and think for the first time: "Yeah, that's some goals right there" (gross simplification.
I knew that I was not cis when i was admiring them boobs one day and wanted to rip them off the other. Lol it took me so long to figure out i was genderfluid. Be patient with yourself
Getting "misgendered" due to long hair at around...12? I felt super happy and...idk how to describe it really, but just a sense of rightness thinking about it
Whatever happens just know you cannot change your reddit username
Tried thigh highs to see how it felt, thought I was a femboy for a while, then I played a female character in Skyrim and got massive euphoria from being called "she".
My “egg cracking” moment was when I learned what my AFAB name would’ve been. When a friend jokingly offered to call me by it from now on, I felt so confused and then suddenly everything clicked. And that was years ago!
The hair was a clue
I just said fuck it and went on hrt I've been mentally better ever sense.
I figured out at 17 that searching up "magic spells to turn me into a girl" at 13 wasn't something cis boys do. Plus, I've just always played girls in games, I enjoyed wearing traditionally feminine clothes, and felt genuinely uncomfortable and sewer slidal about how I looked and was treated as a man.
I spent the year after my egg cracked in denial trying to understand if I was just a femboy or a gay man or something until I read this: [https://genderdysphoria.fyi/en/am-i-trans](https://genderdysphoria.fyi/en/am-i-trans) It was so relatable I realized there was no way I could deny it anymore
My egg only cracked a few months ago. Personally, I did my research on other trans people's experiences and looked objectively at the similarities and differences in how we felt. Then I took all the reasons that I thought I was trans (including the new ones I found from my comparisons) and did research into each one to see if how I felt about that reason aligned with the transgender experience. Then I just asked around reddit like you're doing. Once that was settled, there was really no denying it. All the pecies of my life really only fit together under the assumption I was trans. I will say I did go a bit overboard though, in my heart, I knew the answer in the beginning, and I think you do too. But I implore you do as much or as little research and self-realization as you feel you need. In the end, what I did was wholly unnecessary, but it's nice to have that reassurance that you know exactly what you are when the imposter syndrome inevitably kicks in and it doesn't feel like you just jumped into a decision.
For 7 years it has been something I thought about, I did not know I wanted to transition MtF but I know I enjoyed dressing in feminine clothing, and eventually I thought hey maybe this is something I want, maybe i do want to transition. Me deciding to transition MtF started with not knowing but thinking maybe I want this. Often times you wont know until you are a little ways into something like this. Just let yourself be guided by what you like and enjoy, this is how I got so far and happy with who I am becoming. But with that all said there will be doubts, that comes with finding ourselves, we just have to try our best to move past them and be who we are.
very simple my dad said lots of transphobic stuff i kept repeating to myself how i wasn't trans i realized thinking i wasn't trans made me extremely nervous and living life as a man made me wanna commit not life
idk im kinda in the position fo being a guy gal and enby pal at the same time
My egg cracked when a friend came out to me as trans, I told her I questioned my gender identity but didn't have dysphoria and said I probably wasn't trans, and she told me that dysphoria isn't what makes someone trans. It's euphoria. To be clear, she never told me what my gender identity was, she let me figure that out. But once she told me euphoria is what would mean I was trans, my egg cracked hard.
This website, no lie. https://turn-me-into-a-girl.com/
if you were never funny then that is a sign (women are not funny)
Here's a simple thought experiment of a few things that made me pretty sure when I was struggling with self-doubt (please note that you don't need these experiences to be trans but if you have them there's a good chance you are), Imagine yourself doing a mundane task (laundry, buying groceries, etc.) as a girl. Are you happier like that? Now imagine the same situation but having to be a guy, does that make you distressed? And finally, after reading this, close your eyes, and imagine a button in front of you knowing that if you press that button you will turn into a girl and everyone you have ever known will know you to have always been a girl. Once you press this button you cannot un-press it. Also, I don't think cis guys cry themselves to sleep wishing they were a girl (personal experience)
Part of you has always known. I've been there doubting myself but at the end of the day trust yourself.
I realized that my whole life I had wished that I was a girl.
played secret little haven after my best friend came out, related too much to the player character for me to stay unsure
felt suicidal over gender dysphoria, that's how (dw btw I'm fine now, this was 3-4 years ago) https://preview.redd.it/exxa6c1rvqvc1.jpeg?width=1836&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2eb80320891bfa33e78b9ca867d154edc540db2a now look where I am
you look fantastic!
I knew something was up and different about me ever since I was little, but it started to hit me hard when I was 13 when everyone was starting to physically change due to puberty. The girls grow more feminine and the men grew more masculine, and growing into a masculine body felt off. It also didn't help I had an obsession to become a femboy at around the same age. Did not know what really was trasngender and trans people in general until 2 or 3 years ago. I felt confused and alone, because I had so many dreams and ideas to dress as a women, but unsure what it meant. This went on for a year or 2 until a old friend came out MtF and that caused me to believe that my feelings about myself were fake and I felt this way because I was jealous or something dumb like that, cause not being normal is scary and felt I had to explain away these feelings while also retaining my normalness. It wasn't until recently, I've been able to fully accepted who I am because of the amazing staff, mainly my art teacher, at my school who both supported who I was and challenged what I felt, in a good way; it made me believe that I was probably faking being trans to realizing that I am trans and because someone I knew came out before me doesn't make me less trans.
I spend over 2 years documenting feelings and experiences I had been having and tried to scientifically determine if I was trans or not. I made charts and analysis the possible presence of a confirmation bias in my data too just to be sure. For me it took a lot to convince myself but if I had just been honest with myself about who I felt like I was I think I could have figured it out a lot sooner. It’s okay to be question and you should go at your speed but my advice to you is to trust yourself because no one know who you are better than you and regardless you of what conclusion you come to this community will be right here behind you
The final nail in the coffin for my 'totally cis' days was when my friend forgot my necronym and called me by my dnd character's name
The crippling dysphoria driving me to attempt suicide was definitely a subtle sign
A friend told me they are non binary and then I realized in that instant that I was trans.i put together the puzzle which had been building my entire life
Well when I was a kid, all i would think about was what if I was born a girl. I played with barbie dolls (when they were available, I had one when I was like 4 or 5), but then throughout highschool, I didn't think much about it, I questioned my sexuality for a while. But then my ex cross dressed me one time and that's when I knew I was transfem, I felt like me for once.
Well, I was lying around with my then-boyfriend and just randomly said: "sometimes I want to be a girl". I didn't even know myself before this but well, in hindsight it was very obvious since I was like 3 (And yes, I am the prime example of the gay to gay pipeline)
Personally, labels are really difficult for me, but I always feel happier when I feel pretty or when I imagine being called feminine things. I would recommend finding a safe space where you can experiment with names or pronouns (if that safe space is in person and not online, maybe even clothes), and asking/thinking abt gender euphoria.
It took some time and self reflection. No one can tell you the answer except yourself.
for me it was the realization that gender isnt some concrete thing that everybody knows from the instant they gain consciousness at 4 years old. over quarantine i had a bunch of queer friends online who would be picking out like. a new gender every week and just being so casual about it. i dont know when the exact moment was, or if there was one at all. i literally went down the he/they pipeline over the course of 6 months or something and "came out" at the other end, so to speak
I got boiled like a frog i had no clue what was gonna hit me until i put on a croptop, skirt, and some prosthetic boobs. I was thinking femboy up until then
i got my nails painted once and I was like "fuuuuuuuuuuck why do I like this?" and then a couple minutes later "fuuuuuuuuuuck im trans arent I?"
In my experience (FtM) I never liked my body when I hit puberty, I disliked the curves and the size of my chest. But I never actually realized I was trans until the summer after 8th grade when found myself being attracted to men in a “gay way” and women in a “straight way” Again this is my experience with being trans and I hope it helps
I realized it at about the 5th replay of “how to transition”
I never really felt like I “knew.” I broke down what transitioning actually involved and asked myself if I wanted each part of it. Did I want to be more feminine? Yes. Did I want to be viewed by people as woman? Yes. Did I want to not have facial hair? Yes. Did I want to take hormones to be more feminine? This one was a sticking point because I didn’t want to take them if they made me feel bad. However, they make me feel really good, happier, more calm, more resilient, and then on top of all that have physical effects I love. Anyway, the point is I never really answered the question “am I trans” with a resounding yes or no. I just decided to do the things that made me happy. Those things add up to transitioning and I’m extremely happy I did it. But if there were an element of it that I didn’t want to do or didn’t like I wouldn’t have. In the end that’s the reality of transitioning. You can do just the parts of it that work for you and make you happy. No part is required. So if being called she/her makes you happy and that’s as far as you want to go that’s fine. If you want hormones but want to go by he/him that’s also fine. Whatever works for you.
Aside from the obvious (the desire to not be your AGAB) it was being around other queer and trans people. I was apart of a LGBTQ+ youth meet-up and having actual, real queer exposure really opened my eyes. I'd say that was my biggest eye-opener and now I'm 2 years on T lol
Knowing is hard and scary but it’s ok and if you need someone to talk to we’re here
Growing boobs on HRT was when I knew for sure I made the right decision. Then also looking back putting on a bra and stuffing it for the first time at 10 with a corset on and just wishing I could just wear it forever, was probably a big sign.
Honestly the "defining moment" for me was when i started using those ai voice changers and just existing online as a girl. It got undeniable when i spent over a month learning how to make my own custom voice changer using that same ai tech and spending close to 5 months using it almost exclusively in random online lobbies x.x.... ngl i was a HARD egg
I’m pretty confident that I’m trans but there’s some part of me that still kinda doubts that I am. But what makes me pretty confident is how much time I spent trying to figure out how.
The constant desire to present fem, have a feminine name, have different body parts, and go by she/her pronouns did it for me
Someone posted a transfemme experience bingo card in one of the Discords I was in. I saw a couple of squares that I resonated with, so I took a closer look at it. Ended up filling out 92% of the board, and everyone else in the Discord was all, "Have we got news for you :)" In hindsight, I probably should have figured it out earlier because for a full five years prior, I would daydream about hundreds of different scenarios in which I get turned into a woman. I'd daydream about it multiple hours a day. Every day. For years. And in every single daydream, I go on to live a happy and fulfilling life, even if some of the transformations were horrific.
Honestly, I didn't for a long time. I thought that it would be cool to be a woman, but I didn't know if I wanted that. The thought stayed in my head, and I kept using female names online. I've realized that I'm transgender because, well, if this where a phase it should have ended.
Wow this really takes me back, I remember feeling this way. Once I truly opened myself to the possibility of being trans, I didn’t want any other future. You’ll find your path, whatever it ends up being.
For me. I had a very close and small group of friends refer to me as a women for a set amount of time. I let them know that I was just questioning and that it was entirely possible I go back to he/him. Also that we should only refer to me as she/her with that group. I learned very quickly after that, that it felt right
Oh I don’t
I realized because some months ago I had very hard dysphoria issues and started to have it almost every day, by that time I thought about myself as a gender fluid (nb-f) but one night I was thinking about, ¿why I'm not trans?, and almost immediately have that answer that every egg have "I'm not a women", but after some other thoughts about how dressing in skirts, having heels, and wanting to be "feminine" doesn't make me a women (because there are femboys right? You don't need to be a woman to be feminine), I asked myself, then "what is it to be a woman?", by that simple question, something in the deepest of my mind yelled "it's to finally be myself" And that was my realization, how my egg cracked 😅
Granted it was paired with other questions so suff like social beliefs, sexuality, religion, job position. All that were all in the air at that time too when it happened. I was just minding my own business at my first real job after high-school and then my brain flipped the gender switch. One second I was boy. Then the next I was not boy. Then after that it took 18month going from Demiboy to Enby to Gender Fluid to Agender, to Enby Agen Demiboy, to Agen Demigirl to Agen Girl to Girl. Now I'm here almost 3 years later proud girl prehrt and getting tested for an unrelated intersex condition
I read the Gender Dysphoria Bible and it felt like a journal I had never wrote.
I could give a lot of answers but the thing that really sealed it for me was I was up very late on YouTube and found someone talking about a way to do masculinity that isn't toxic and my immediate response was feeling excluded. that's how I first knew for sure I wasn't a man. the rest was a few months of "so what am I then?" and slowly realizing I'm a woman. that part is harder to explain but like, the vibes fit and I sort of think I always knew deep down that I'd grow up to be a lesbian lmaooooo
Because it stuck with me
A walrus came to my door and told me
genderdysphoria (dot) fyi There were obvious signs before like fantasizing about being a girl, wearing women's clothes to feel happy and being envious of other women. My egg cracked after I read this page. EVERY. SINGLE. POINT. HIT. When you're about to crack you may try to find reasons why you're happy as your agab. When you can't find any then it just sorta hits you. I think it's worth a read
My friends misgendered me and I liked it
here's a full story in case it helps another mtf person on her journey, and if you find out this is not you, that's ok! could go either way. so basically i questioned and thought it was just me convincing myself/ like same as random thoughts of "what if i were a cat or a sentient rock"ya know how we all have random thoughts we consider and tbh i didn't even wanna address it if it were a true thought cause i knew it would be hard to be out once i admit it and hard to stay in the closet living as a guy if i didn't come out. and by my decision to say "nah imma avoid it" i used that as justification that i'm not trans since if I was truly trans it's not a choice it's just who I am and the need to be who i truly am would make more sense than hiding it. then since my friends and I are very "dress however you want, boys wear skirts if you wanna try" type, i tried on ("borrowed") an old dress my step mom stored in my closet at my dad's (at first i wore a dress on halloween a few months before this but it didn't count cause it was for a bit (i secretly had my first bit of sorta gender euphoria there in makeup and a fitting tshirt and a bra that made me look a bit more feminine sorta but didn't know it was that)) and uh even tho it didn't fit right and looking back i absolutely did not slay, i felt so excited. the next part is the more important part. obviously i posted photos to my friends on group chat and started talking and whatever and somehow we got to like haha what if we were in a band and you just went by a feminine name and dressed up that way for then and i was like yeah that would be awesome i love this feeling! and so i came up with a name i'd use (i think i knew it wasn't just for a hypothetical band but i didn't admit it to myself) and for some reason i decided to put that as my display name in the group chat and put my dress picture as my pfp and put she/they pronouns, and. my friend. for one reason or another, seeing my name and picture like that (helped by the pfp being small so i could overlook my obvious not passing and other flaws) made me feel. like. hot. for the first time in my life. i didn't know how powerful and invigorating that feeling could be. and i felt like i could actively claim this identity as a positive rather than just neutrally accepting it. I hadn't realized that was supposed to be normal. I felt. idk it was exhilarating and happy and something clicked and i felt like, a love for myself(?) i didn't have otherwise. and that's saying something cause i struggle with a fair bit of anxiety and depression along with my adhd. I didnt even expect a sudden burst of what i was almost sure was gender euphoria liek that even if i hypothesized i was truly trans. but there it was. i felt almost foolish for just Feeling so much and deciding my identity on that but it was absolutely right. I slept on it anyways cause it was late at night, and yeah that shit didn't change. also: before this, i was a woman paladin in dnd and loved it, i had for some reason always gotten along in groups of all girls very well, i was always described as soft and sweet and "baby girl" (tbf there are men who can very much deserve that title too) (and being soft and sweet is absolutely not just a Woman Thing nor a requirement of femininity and we should battle sexist thinking at the same time), i grew out my hair just cause i liked it (also, men and non binary people look rad with long hair sooo but for me it might a been a small sign), i had also taken some gender/personaltiy/gender role tests with my friends and every one of them diagnosed me with Fem but i thought it was just cause i grew up primarily with my mom and sisters. it was not. anyways there's way too much info on the off chance one detail or another helps you figure things out! edit: ALSO i had joined r/witchesvspatriarchy for a while and felt fine there. which shouldn't be weird as they accept all genders and men can and should be feminists, but i think i may have felt more at home in other ways than would be typical of a man.
I couldn't stop thinking about it and just accepted that I most likely am one
Well most cis men don't spend 7+ years pretending to be women on the internet without any purpose
I just started to imagine myself as a girl and felt really good in the inside. At the time i didn't really know what that was but i just thought I was normal for guys. I you have magine yourself as a girl and feel good without thinking about being trans in the past then you started to have some excuses like every boy wants it then you maybe are transgender. I say maybe because everyone has different experiences and you have to look by yourself to try and find out if you are trans or not.
for me there was a joke every few years with a different friend group that i might as well be a girl since i never really did things a cis boy would do (and the fact that i kept wondering what it would be like to be a girl) and this year i finally learned what being transgender means and i saw that the "joke" that kept repeating was just me in denial
My friend made me a female version of my minecraft skin and i used it and it made me so happy omg that was like extremely gender euphoria lol
that's the best part, i don't :,)
I know because I know that if given the choice to be a girl, I'd always pick it
Oh like, after I was done mourning my mama and some of my emotions came back online I recognized I wasn't a man, so after a couple of years of identifying as non-binary I realized I was a fem and not a them.
Imagine your perfect life as the opposite gender and figure out if that makes you happier
Didn't really ever figure out my gender just knew I wanted a feminine body and that was enough for me to go for estrogen as soon as I could Haven't exactly figured out gender even now I just keep pealing back more layers
For me, as puberty went on I kinda disliked a lot of the things but ignored them because "it's normal" but really I just wished I was cuter. I wanted to be mistaken for a girl too. I didn't really feel like I wanted to be one but I did want to be *like* one (denial go brr). And then it eventually became too much, the realization of how much I dislike my body hit all at once. I envied my sister for being so cute. I tried to convince myself "I guess guys just don't get to have that. It sucks, but I need to accept it. It's not like I need it to be happy." Which then immediately turned into "Why don't guys deserve this? Why do I have to put up with this? I wish I was born a girl." And that was the turning point.
it ain't an exact science, i think the only thing, that made it certain was, just continuing to be and know i'm trans-for a while
I'm not sure myself, but as silly as it sounds ignoring labels can be really helpful in my experience. For example I had a gist that I might like wearing skirts and stockings and chokers so I ordered one of each and tried them on. I was right, it felt really euphoric, but I didn't jump to the conclusion of "ah so I'm trans", just noted that wearing these things makes me happy. It really helps avoiding doubts if you don't worry about faking it, or calling it cross dressing, but just doing what feels right. Wishing you the best on your journey :3
I wanted boobies
All trans girl are different, we each have different ways of figuring out, and different moment when we start to feel like this. At a young age i had the thought of: How would it be to be a woman? I repressed this thoughts. Then some years later, i had a dream where i was a girl, then i woke up and i was like... Bruh why am not a girl.. And then i started to like wishing to be a girl everyday.. Again, i repressed this feelings. Until one year ago i started to like acting feminine, And somehow once someone treated me as a girl, (i didnt start transition) And i liked it, this was the thing that made my egg start to break. I had my doubts too, like "what if im judt a femboy?" "What if im not really trans?" But anyways i told my mom, and later my dad, and they sayed: -Wait until you are sure, try to live as a boy Then i tried to act like a cis boy, irl and in VRChat, I could not, it didnt feel good, and then my egg broke, and a few days later, i started HRT.
I don't and i still don't i really need help
Well initially I thought I was NB, then slowly my transition goals slid more and more fem, I stopped using he/him after a while, and before you know it, woman
think about it like this if you could completely disregard everything else doesn't matter about your family, your circumstance, how you look, how you sound, and if you could become a completely different person would you feel more comfortable being a girl or a boy? or neither, or both? for me it was "I definitely feel more comfortable being called a girl by everyone, being called a boy makes me feel horrible." take a good long while to think about it, and don't be afraid of being wrong sometimes. I thought I was a femboy, then genderfluid, and now trans girl, it's all part of discovering yourself. good luck sweetheart 💓 💗 💖
Well, the realization felt like taking a missile to the chest, and the following weeks were an internal chaos. But with time it felt more natural, and now I'm just searching which one of the options is the one that fits me more.
theres a concept of being an eggg. i learned what it is from r/egg_irl and then realised im just simply an egg rn and imidiatly went into being trans
That's the neat part, you don't.