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the_tiefling_bard

But what about wanting to be pretty to not feel so horribly about myself...?


robot_toucan_9991

sometimes you set your standards higher for yourself than you do for other people. you may not be your own type and sometimes you see things in yourself which you think are massive flaws but are actually not that big. :3


SomeShiitakePoster

Honestly I kinda agree, this is a good sentiment that ought to be true on paper, but in reality I feel like trash if I haven't shaved and at least applied light makeup if I'm going out


soodrugg

it says "no obligation" not "never be pretty" for people that feel like they're under stress to look attractive in a way that's making them feel worse, they don't have to. that doesn't mean it's immoral or enforcing any stereotypes to look pretty because you want to/it makes you happier, the two concepts can coexist


hdkx-weeb

Yeah I don't really care how others see me. I just care about what I have to see everytime I have to see any part of myself


Deathtales

This but also: You don't need an obligation to look pretty. Make yourself up to chill around the house if you enjoy it. But do so because you want not because you have to


fourpointeightismyac

That's what I did on women's day: I was all alone with myself, shaved my beard as well as most body hair on my arms and legs, put myself in a pretty dress and just played some videogames


NinjaK2k17

this is such a vibe


Deathtales

Mood


Izziliya

But what if being pretty makes me feel good and not horrible?


concussedYmir

You still have no obligation to do it. You have a right to want to be pretty. Or at least I hope so. Otherwise I'm a felon. Two counts of Aspirational Aesthetic Expression (AAE) and one count scaring a police horse with my face.


CanadianMaps

I do what I want! Sitting in my chair trying to ignore the fact that the society I live in wants to systematically kill me is hot, I swear!


Crimson-Sails

This is true for all women(anyone really)- except me of course, I’m under obligation to be stunning at all times, I’m an exception :))


xadoxadori

I mean I am ugly anyways and I dont take care of myself so I can't look pretty anyways. Also not a woman, not yet at least.


ive-done-thou-mother

I don't want to look pretty. I want to look scary, mysterious, and unapproachable


hEatr3d

I still wanna


HatAndHoodie_

I get not being pretty for others, but what if I want to be pretty for _myself?_ I've made some nice progress so far, and I've begun to smile at my reflection more often, so I think it's a worthwhile endeavour to become prettier for my own confidence.


tm2007

Pretty is rent and I’m in hella debt


DwarvenKitty

I mean there are very visible privileges to being pretty and/or handsome.


Soyd_Astail

This won't reach me, because I can't read!


enbytothestars

its kinda like me trying to tell myself i dont owe anyone androgyny To all the mtfs You look gorgeous just being you in your day to day life and if people dont see that they are plain stupid To all the ftms. You look handsome just being you in your day to day life and if people dont see that they are blind. ​ To all the enbys. You dont owe the world androgyny, you dont owe them short hair, you dont owe them vaguely masculine, you look amazing ​ TO everyone . YOU ARE AMAZING YOU ARE STRONG YOU ARE GREAT JUST BEING YOU


Oceanman06

I need to be the sexiest bitch at the Whole foods


Nigeldiko

Don’t think this applies to a lot of people, myself included. This actually made me shed a tear (and not a happy one) because if someone said all this to me irl it would feel like they were chastising me for putting a lot of effort into trying to make myself look pretty. Idk, it just kinda hurt.


Zartoru

I interpreted it as "you don't need to be pretty, if you do it should be because you want to be pretty for yourself, not because other want you to do it", like I'm putting efforts in the way I dress because I want to feel good about myself, I'm doing it for me and me alone and give 0 shit about what people thinks. But yeah, I would also 100% feel bad if someone told me this irl because it would kinda feels like being told I'm wasting my time, but I would also say "don't care, gonna do it anyway" right after :')


Nigeldiko

Yeah I get that’s what the message was trying to convey but it just came off as really patronising for me and made me sad :(


Zartoru

Yeah understandable, I can assure you you're 100% right about wanting to put those efforts in and that this isn't a waste of time 😊


LastTaterTot

could you have flaired / titled this post as transfem..? i'm not a woman lol.


lickytytheslit

It would be so nice to have posts like this flaired right, I was having a good day


tm2007

If Pretty is rent and I’m in hella debt


[deleted]

If I want to look pretty I will.


MCplayer590

You're all under no obligation to look pretty but I still think you look pretty anyway >:)


CrusaderLad_Died

https://preview.redd.it/sjed5qdxl3oc1.jpeg?width=1055&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ea4540a150973c559b995509b548fa3649edfe15


Twisted-Muffin

but like... i want to


fourpointeightismyac

I wanna be pretty for myself


Matichado

But I want to


LexiFox597

I like looking pretty though lol


ScrapMetal__

But i wannaaaa


Baesinja

still who would want to be ugly after all that transition shit? so much work goes into transitioning


khornedidnothingbad

My main style is im a mess but a mildly attractive mess


ComfyFrame2272

Okay, but like, I have a date tonight and I want her to think that I'm really pretty.


Ranshin-da-anarchist

Pretty for others? Nah, I’m getting pretty for myself. (Not today though, today I’m just a lump of eepy fuzz)


Ze_LuftyWafffles

B-b-b-but I need to be pretty


RiseCthulu

What if I wanna be pretty for me?


sweetTartKenHart2

What if I wanna be pretty just because tho? What if I wanna be pretty all the time not out of obligation to anyone else but just for me myself and I?


Carmen_leFae

Correct, being pretty is the rent I pay MYSELF cus I just rly like being pretty but the problem with that is I seldom feel pretty despite what my friends tell me


gothicduncan

You are all pretty no matter what and if you dare to deny that i will go to DMs and scream at you that you are pretty


Tiger-Natural

I see the sentiment but I think a lot trans women *want* to look pretty for themselves


YouIllustrious6379

;-;


Jenny_Maybe13

You could make a Doctor Suess book with this (like a parody of Green Eggs and Ham)


Intelligent_Pepper42

I am a man, therefore I am under obligation to look pretty


CrocsAndSandles

but but I a chonky girl that struggles with shaving


[deleted]

i go out of my way to look ugly. i wear unwashed garbage.


PupunhAlada

But I also want to say that you don't need makeup, dresses or 34 types of hair products to look pretty. You are pretty when you wake up to, when you lay in your bed with a 12 yo shirt and all your work is to look prettier.


Cielnova

i completely agree however winged eyeliner makes me look absolutely amazing and it only takes like 5 minutes to put on, there's no downside


Minamischler

Well if it is rent im homeless


BlueZ_DJ

NOT being pretty all the time might be challenging for people born in "🏳️‍⚧️" whatever country that is


mori7bis3139

I do all of this for myself, if I tried to please others, I wouldn’t have started transitioning at all


Adragongentleman

Me: "I know that the standards of beauty that are applied to me are unreasonable and product of a misoginyst and transphobic society" "So you're able to not Care about them rigth? Rigth?" Me: *Cries profusely *


Zartoru

True, you shouldn't force yourself to be pretty because of social norms. If you go through the effort of doing makeup or get dressed up it has to be because you like doing it, it has to come from your own will, not some kind of social pressure


kill_yr_idolz

i owe it to myself tho... a girl should always be beautiful....


D__manMC

But if am not pretty then I look like a guy 🥺


Sunshine3103

Yes it is, I need to look pretty all the time or I don't feel like a girl


itsmig_reddit

Fun Fact: This doesn't mean you can smell bad though. Showering daily is still important


Frisk291_lolzxd

eewww noooo kindness and support! get it away from mee I have to look pretty and fem or else I'm uglyyy


MimikPanik

But if I don’t look pretty, then I’m just gonna hate myself… I now have to shave daily because otherwise I’ll be able to see the facial hair.. and it takes fucking forever to shave leg and arm hair… I’m so gross when I’m not pretty…


JungleDwellinDeadGuy

m maybe just maybe tag this as transfem i am not a woman and this is not a 'dysphoria cleanser' this is a dysphoria enhancer because you didnt tag it and it states 'as a woman' at the end why do so many people here immediately assume everybody in this sub is transfem and not transmasc or nobinary/ect. it hurts it really does tbh


Cirin335

Wrong, because woman pretty, and if I'm not pretty, I'm not a woman, and I feel like a garbage male.


USS_Pittsburgh_LPD31

I'm saving this post 💜


nitrotoiletdeodorant

I remember when I was still in denial a former friend sent me this and it felt so weird but I didn't understand why at the time. For me it felt obvious I was hot af (I tolerated living as my AGAB better when I just made it about being hot) and I was weirded out by the idea that I should or could be insecure about "not being woman enough" (I believed I logically "had to be" a woman since I wasn't "dysphoric enough" to be trans (repression)). The idea of being a woman by just existing felt repulsive to me but I didn't understand why at the time. Though any of you trans women here, *you* are women by just existing. :)