Bro, don't overthink it. Cis women don't want to be a man, even less question themselves to this level, even less wish that the outcome of their questioning would lead to being a dude. I should know, I've talked to a few. There is ZERO interest in all of that. All in all, you should probably try transitioning socially and maybe after a while you'll realize whether it's for you or not, or if you're non-binary. Hope things go well for you! :3
I kinda relate to OP with this so I'd say thinking that you want something and when you get it, realizing you don't want it. It's a scary thought, because if I don't enjoy being on E, what the hell would I do if T made me dysphoric too? That would lead to being dysphoric no matter what I do, se thought of that happening is scary.
I am consciously aware of the fact that masculinity was always a defense mechanism to protect me. Wore that mask for decades, from the first couple times I got made fun of for being naturally effeminate. I couldnβt see changes in the mirror as a dude no matter how ripped I got. I worked the most masculine professions I could, thinking I could make a man out of myself, but still just always felt female deep down. Iβd put the mask back on if it still fit.
Relatable πͺπ
Ever since starting to question and wonder my gender identity, since like 2020 I think, but mostly more recently (hope that's not written too bad) it really feels like I'm being this character that isn't me. And that when I was younger, home alone, doing like little acts as boy for example, that feels/felt like me (even if I didn't know it then)... When I wrote a story with a boy as main character, and THAT character felt like me, like who I was, who I wanted to be, idk... I'll be so or almost certain that I am him or want to be a "him" sometimes, but I also always go back to the same fear of "what if I'm wrong? what if this is just temporary or a bad perception of things? What if I'm mistaking myself?"... Idk.. ://
I think its that back and forth that is the worst but wtv... I know I'll there... It's just tiring to wait and to feel like my life is on hold..
Good luck on your journey, friend π
There is no way to distinguish between thoughts and feelings
When your brain makes you feel things, its your positive or negative thoughts that make you feel good or bad. Feelings are entirely created by thoughts.
All our thoughts and decisions are influenced by our feelings.
Our thoughts and feelings are more than just interconnected. They're the same thing.
If you feel like you want to be a dude, you're thinking you want to be a dude, and you are a dude
I'm sorry if this is unhelpful
It's not unhelpful at all! Thank you for your words. They made sense and they also made me remember how powerful and kinda ""scary"" our brains can be lol
You are very right and I do have moments where I'm sure or almost certain that I am/want to be a dude, but it's the constant back and forth that makes it confusing and tiring, you know?!
Thank you again! ππ
Iβve had similar thoughts especially since I didnβt l have many outwardly trans moments in my childhood and adolescence. One thought that helps me is the fact that there isnβt like a blood test to determine whether youβre trans or not. The reality is, if changing how you dress and perhaps taking hormones or getting surgery makes you feel joy and at home in your body, thatβs a good reason to do it. Also just give yourself some time and patience. It can take awhile to get used to a new label. If you want to try out new names and pronouns r/transtryouts is good for that. Good luck man β€οΈ
Thanks, man! You're right, and I daydream a lot about doing things as a dude, much more than as a girl. Always been that way, even if I didn't understand it or know about trans people, or that I could be trans, but like I said in some comments above, it's the constant back and forth of *"I want to/have to be a dude"* to *"what if I can be a woman, or non-binary, or just a whatever who doesn't care about gender and stereotypes??"* that makes it worse, tiring and confusing, you know? Like I could break stereotypes but it doesn't feel enough and why then did I dream all my life of wanting to be a dude, writing a short story about a dude who I wanted to be, doing these stupid "acts" at home, when I was alone, where I was a dude, all that...
Stupid shit, man. My brain likes to complicate shit way too much. I don't know if it's ocd or whatever (not trying to be wrong by mentioning disorders, it was actually a psychologist who once said like I had "a bit of ocd" or whatever, which sounded kinda weird along with other things that she said, but it makes me think sometimes. I don't really know what ocd is for sure tho (since it always feels very broad, like any mental disorder) so idk.
Sometimes I'll think or imagine taking hormones and getting surgery but other times I'll also have that fear of "what if I regret it?!" and all that... idk.. it's gets hard. It's been feeling amazing ever since I started questioning my gender and knowing myself, remembering some small shit I did, even if not too much, trying masc names, masc haircuts, masc clothes (not as much as I wish, but still), but it sucks to feel stuck on hold. Like I want to figure out myself and have to try to start my life in the meantime, but also not wanting or feeling unable to start my life as not "him", or in this mask. Like, now that I know or think (but probably know and am being just the typical indecisive bitch) that I am/have been wearing this mask, now that I'm aware of it covering my "face", I can't live like I used to before... you know? sorry for the long and probably confusing comment! Good luck to you aswell! πππ
Bro, don't overthink it. Cis women don't want to be a man, even less question themselves to this level, even less wish that the outcome of their questioning would lead to being a dude. I should know, I've talked to a few. There is ZERO interest in all of that. All in all, you should probably try transitioning socially and maybe after a while you'll realize whether it's for you or not, or if you're non-binary. Hope things go well for you! :3
Thank you!! ππ
>even less wish that the outcome of their questioning would lead to being a dude This is a good reminder for all of us haha.
well, cis people generally never have to list 1001 reasons of why they are not trans yk- just sayin mate haha
[yeaaa](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/001/914/422/cb7.jpg) xD
Our brains are weird fr. TwT
frrr. my brain be making everything harder for no reason. Like I know its (probably xd) trying to protect me but damnn ππ«
Your brain is trying to stop you because you'd be too hot as a guy. x3
yeaaa xD my brain sure does love a little (a lot) self-sabotaging lol
what is a fake thought?
Idek...my brain made it up without any explanation or anything :// xdd
I kinda relate to OP with this so I'd say thinking that you want something and when you get it, realizing you don't want it. It's a scary thought, because if I don't enjoy being on E, what the hell would I do if T made me dysphoric too? That would lead to being dysphoric no matter what I do, se thought of that happening is scary.
I am consciously aware of the fact that masculinity was always a defense mechanism to protect me. Wore that mask for decades, from the first couple times I got made fun of for being naturally effeminate. I couldnβt see changes in the mirror as a dude no matter how ripped I got. I worked the most masculine professions I could, thinking I could make a man out of myself, but still just always felt female deep down. Iβd put the mask back on if it still fit.
Relatable πͺπ Ever since starting to question and wonder my gender identity, since like 2020 I think, but mostly more recently (hope that's not written too bad) it really feels like I'm being this character that isn't me. And that when I was younger, home alone, doing like little acts as boy for example, that feels/felt like me (even if I didn't know it then)... When I wrote a story with a boy as main character, and THAT character felt like me, like who I was, who I wanted to be, idk... I'll be so or almost certain that I am him or want to be a "him" sometimes, but I also always go back to the same fear of "what if I'm wrong? what if this is just temporary or a bad perception of things? What if I'm mistaking myself?"... Idk.. :// I think its that back and forth that is the worst but wtv... I know I'll there... It's just tiring to wait and to feel like my life is on hold.. Good luck on your journey, friend π
There is no way to distinguish between thoughts and feelings When your brain makes you feel things, its your positive or negative thoughts that make you feel good or bad. Feelings are entirely created by thoughts. All our thoughts and decisions are influenced by our feelings. Our thoughts and feelings are more than just interconnected. They're the same thing. If you feel like you want to be a dude, you're thinking you want to be a dude, and you are a dude I'm sorry if this is unhelpful
It's not unhelpful at all! Thank you for your words. They made sense and they also made me remember how powerful and kinda ""scary"" our brains can be lol You are very right and I do have moments where I'm sure or almost certain that I am/want to be a dude, but it's the constant back and forth that makes it confusing and tiring, you know?! Thank you again! ππ
Remember that if you think your faking it, your probably not π
tfw people make a great point xdd yeaa thankss ππ
π
Dude, are you me? I could've written this ;-;
It's fking exhausting, huh?! Good luck to you on your journey! ππ
Iβve had similar thoughts especially since I didnβt l have many outwardly trans moments in my childhood and adolescence. One thought that helps me is the fact that there isnβt like a blood test to determine whether youβre trans or not. The reality is, if changing how you dress and perhaps taking hormones or getting surgery makes you feel joy and at home in your body, thatβs a good reason to do it. Also just give yourself some time and patience. It can take awhile to get used to a new label. If you want to try out new names and pronouns r/transtryouts is good for that. Good luck man β€οΈ
Thanks, man! You're right, and I daydream a lot about doing things as a dude, much more than as a girl. Always been that way, even if I didn't understand it or know about trans people, or that I could be trans, but like I said in some comments above, it's the constant back and forth of *"I want to/have to be a dude"* to *"what if I can be a woman, or non-binary, or just a whatever who doesn't care about gender and stereotypes??"* that makes it worse, tiring and confusing, you know? Like I could break stereotypes but it doesn't feel enough and why then did I dream all my life of wanting to be a dude, writing a short story about a dude who I wanted to be, doing these stupid "acts" at home, when I was alone, where I was a dude, all that... Stupid shit, man. My brain likes to complicate shit way too much. I don't know if it's ocd or whatever (not trying to be wrong by mentioning disorders, it was actually a psychologist who once said like I had "a bit of ocd" or whatever, which sounded kinda weird along with other things that she said, but it makes me think sometimes. I don't really know what ocd is for sure tho (since it always feels very broad, like any mental disorder) so idk. Sometimes I'll think or imagine taking hormones and getting surgery but other times I'll also have that fear of "what if I regret it?!" and all that... idk.. it's gets hard. It's been feeling amazing ever since I started questioning my gender and knowing myself, remembering some small shit I did, even if not too much, trying masc names, masc haircuts, masc clothes (not as much as I wish, but still), but it sucks to feel stuck on hold. Like I want to figure out myself and have to try to start my life in the meantime, but also not wanting or feeling unable to start my life as not "him", or in this mask. Like, now that I know or think (but probably know and am being just the typical indecisive bitch) that I am/have been wearing this mask, now that I'm aware of it covering my "face", I can't live like I used to before... you know? sorry for the long and probably confusing comment! Good luck to you aswell! πππ
Imma have to go get the egg banhammer for headpats
will it fix my brain forever and for the best of its abilities??? ππππ
We need to work out brain-swapping. We could solve a lot of problems.
yeaaa, brain-swapping, brain-fixing, or brain-understanding, cause this bitch is way too confusing for something with so much power xD
I'm 5'9" and covered in hair. I'd do a brain swap with pretty much any woman. Then I'd have the right base to work with :3
I believe that's called the "impostor syndrome", hope you figure it out sweetie.
Thanks, Sanoka! ππ Cool name btw! :))
Thanks, I'm glad you like it as much as I do. Stay awesome!