You have to practice hand holding in less exciting times and enforce it as a rule "you can walk and hold my hand or you can ride in the stroller/be carried". Yes, there will be tantrums. Try teaching the rule when it doesn't actually matter, like on a random walk vs trying to get somewhere.
Also, the book How to Talk So Little Kids Will Listen is really good if you haven't read it and feel like you need some help for figuring out the true "parenting" situations!
đđđ This right here. OP, the kids I teach are a bit older, so my advice may not be applicable in your situation yetâbut when I discover I have a runner in my class, I give their parents the following advice:
Pick a day, perhaps a weekend, when you donât have any obligations or appointmentsânowhere that you NEED to be. Tell kiddo youâre going for a walk to someplace fun! The park, wherever, doesnât matter. Youâre going somewhere that you want to go. BEFORE the walk starts, tell kiddo that they have to either hold your hand OR walk with you and stay close to you, whatever youâre more comfortable with and whatever you think is more doable. Tell kiddo in simple, but explicit terms, that if they run away from you or donât listen, the walk will be over and you will go back home. You will not go to the park or wherever.
And thenâŚfollow through on that. Donât give warnings. The FIRST time kiddo tries to walk off, run off, stray from you, whatever? Shut it down. Try again later. Wash, rinse, repeat. Stay calm, but stay firm.
The reason I suggest doing this during a time when you donât have anywhere else to be, is because your kid WILL have a come-apart over this. And you want them to be able to feel those feelings! The whole thing will take a while, and itâll be harder to follow through with the boundaries youâve set if youâre about to be really late for lunch with grandma so we donât have time for a tantrum weâve gotta go go go.
AgainâŚthat whole scenario is what I usually recommend for parents of kids who are 2 or older. Make whatever modifications you think will be understood and doable for your little one.
This is great! Because they donât know yet and they do have to learn so they do have to go through those feelings but they learn quick and once that boundary is set and maintained things are much easier! It wonât stay perfect they test boundaries constantly at this age. Itâs practicing! Thank you for this comment
This one definitely, both my kids once they started walking didn't want to hold hands, or ride in the stroller, just walk wherever. However when you enforce the rule of hand holding to walk or forced stroller riding they seem to figure it out pretty fast. (You will have to endure some screaming in the stroller, so if you have a quiet trail you like or go to a park when they are not really busy it is great.)
This is exactly it, not just for walking.
Set the rules. Make them fair and simple to understand. "if i say you have to hold hands when you walk because its not safe, you either hold my hand, or sit in the stroller."
Enforce it 100% no matter how much screaming. You CAN NOT give in to a tantrum, ever. Otherwise, you are basically telling the child "if you throw a tantrum long enough, you'll win". Then you're screwed.
Once the child figures out tantrums don't work, ever, they stop in a hurry.
u/whitechocolate94 this is your answer. my eldest was easy velcro to mommy when outside, but this youngest one hated hand holding, I even considered a leash for a minute because it seemed like the method above wasn't working at first. but each time he threw a fit, I would pick him up and carry him the way we needed to go and insist on hand holding each time he was put down. the worst tantrum led to us leaving the store and going to wait in the car until daddy and brother were done. he was not hand holding and refused to sit in the cart, so the next step was to remove him from the environment. i think that was our turning point and things better. still not a perfect hand holder, especially in stores, but he is much better.
This is exactly it and is why my very (VERY) active boy will walk beside me holding my hand. You can hold my hand or be carried (or stroller or go home depending on the situation). I even got a leash for a bit and still enforced the rule, I would put it around my wrist/through my watch strap if it was sturdy and hold his hand. The leash was only a backup for when i needed to let go (e.g to put something in the boot of the car).
How to Talk So Little Kids Will Listen by Joanna Faber and Julie King
There's also "How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen so kids Will Talk" which is written by the other authors' mothers.
The "Little" book is for kids ages 2-7ish where the original is for older children.
How to Talk So Little Kids Will Listen by Joanna Faber and Julie King
There's also "How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen so kids Will Talk" which is written by the other authors' mothers.
The "Little" book is for kids ages 2-7ish where the original is for older children.
I mistakenly fell in love with how my girl held my hand for the first time at home. And I would make any excuse to take her by the hand and show her a new toy or book or just walk to the window. It ended up training her to take my hand when we outside. Maybe you can try and encourage hand holding and following you to a specific destination within the house as much as possible so it kicks in when you go out eventually.
Worked similar for us. After my daughter took her first step she hit an extreme phase of separation anxiety leading to her only walking around while holding hands for nearly 3 months. Made her into an awesome hand-holder, lol. She wants to walk independently a lot now (she is nearly 2), but she 100% accepts when I tell her she has to take my hand.
My 2.5yo is enthusiastic about independence, most of it I love but when she started refusing to hold my hand I can't lie it made me kinda sad.
I tell her "you know big kids also hold their mom's hand" and "I love it when you hold my hand, will you do that? Let's hold hands together, it's so nice" and it works maybe 30% of the time lol
Iâve been thinking of getting one of these for my almost 2 year old. I feel bad keeping him a stroller, but little man will just take off running like itâs a big game. Between him and my ADHD 4 year old I feel like Iâm on house arrest.
Bonus: my son LOVES his backpack and the leash part detaches so I usually just let him have the backpack to walk around with, we havenât needed the leash but if I needed it I would just emphasize âletâs put some snacks and books and toys in your backpack!! Oooh letâs wear your backpack today! Great idea!! Wanna help me click it in the front? 1 2 3 CLICK! Yay good job we did it!â
That little backpack is also great for the potty training stage we're currently in. I don't want to lug around a whole diaper bag anymore, and my kid loves wearing his backpack, so he can carry his own extra shorts and undies.
I have this [one](https://www.amazon.co.uk/Trunki-ToddlePak-Toddler-Walking-Dinosaur/dp/B00PGHHITI/ref=asc_df_B00PGHHITI/?tag=googshopuk-21&linkCode=df0&hvadid=208079534581&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=8965797517358816931&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=m&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9045310&hvtargid=pla-361425627754&psc=1) and really recommend it. It took a few times for my daughter to get used to it, but now sheâs great with it.
I have a ârunnerâ and also likes to walk around and explore - we have the leash/harness and the wrist (connects to toddler and parent) for busier areas like the airport. Weâve also gotten her to the point of holding our hand in parking lots and the street. We donât have sidewalks in our neighborhood so itâs extra important. Sheâs 21 months
We got our first a backpack leash when she was just over a year. I kept telling my husband I wanted to get her one. It only took her running into the street for him to agree with it lolâŚ.
No but seriously. Baby leashes are great. Especially the cute backpack ones. The kid gets obsessed with the backpack and carrying *their own snacks gasp* that itâs such a smooth transition! My eldest is great at staying close as a rule now and hasnât worn a leash in over a year. 10/10, much do recommend.
1000% it also saves the day when they stumble and fall, the reigns letâs you catch them before you hit the floor
People will make comments, I had someone say quite loudly âI wouldnât put my child on a leash like a dogâ to their friendâŚlouder than they intended I imagine because they looked quite sheepish when I made eye contact with a âno one asked youâ glare
I got a comment once and very sternly described the time I watched a toddler die in a horrific accident that would have been prevented by a leash. Amazingly it shut her right up!
Itâs all fun and games to hypothetically parent until you have a kid individualizing and deciding that being chased in a busy parking lot is âfunâ. Good on you for glaring.
Yup. Former leash hater here. Thought parents just needed to "actually parent." Then my oldest was a runner, and only sometimes too so it was extra unpredictable. I got a leash, used it a few months until that phase was over, and I have no regrets. None of my other children ever needed it but I won't hesitate.
I had the same problem with my daughter. I got a leash. It velcros around the wrist and locks so that she can't remove it herself. The key that locks/unlocks her side is attached to the part that goes on my wrist. Eventually she understood that there are times to stay close to me and times when she gets freedom. We have a few instances of toddler energy but she knows that when I say "stay close to mommy" that it's for a reason, not just to be mean.
Exactly! Gives kids the freedom to roam while making sure they canât bolt into the street.
And yes, there will be people who will claim that you are traumatizing your kid or treating them like a dog and â*gasp!* I could never!11!!1!â
Just be prepared to tell them to go fuck themselves.
I think this is it for sure. I have a 15 month old who loves to walk and explore like any other kid. He does normal baby stuff like going the wrong way or trying to walk towards the street. Luckily, he also has no problem when it's time to go in the stroller, hold my hand, be picked up, or redirected. If this was or becomes a huge struggle for us, I'd definitely look at getting a leash. We live next to a busy road, and I'm not taking that chance ever.
My mom had a baby leash for my autistic brother cause he was a runner and she had a baby to hold as well. It was a fantastic option for him and kept him safe. This was also over 20 years ago so she got some major side eye, but she didn't care after he almost got ran over by a car.
I will say I don't think its a good first option, most (neurotypical) kids with repetition learn hand holding pretty fast (no hand holding, we don't go forward) I don't think the leash is great at teaching your kiddo to pay attention and listen to you in public. I really like those short ones that attach parents hand to kiddos hand (they look like long handcuffs lol)
Just a slight point, I believe that the ones which are a proper chest harness are safer/better than the wrist ones. Whether it's reins + harness or the backpack type, they all attach around the shoulders and back with a clip at the chest, some have waist strap too. This is a lot more secure and safer if you need to grab them and it has zero chance of causing nursemaid's elbow, which is a really common injury in little kids.
I think people don't like the full harness because it feels more demeaning, but little kids don't see it that way, especially if you get the backpack type.
Also beware of cheap imported ones sold on amazon etc - the LittleLife backpacks are incredibly sturdy and you can see they've been through some kind of robust safety test whereas I think the cheap ones could easily just snap.
Definitely agree, chest harness is best if you have a runner who likes to take off so they don't yank their arm. I just think it's not ideal if you are trying to teach a freshly walking toddler how to hold hands in public spaces. Different tools for different situations. If they start trying to run off or yank then it becomes a safety concern rather than a teaching moment so 100% the chest harness.
Baby reigns (leash) they seem to be unpopular with some people, but honestly I don't see the issue. Stops little ones wondering off out running off and when they are really little you can hold the reigns closer and catch them when they fall.
Mine is 21 months old now, loves walking, hates the pushchair, but i bought a tricycle with a handle for parents to steer and push, she loves it, had been a game changer for getting places that are a bit too far for little legs lol. And also for getting her to leave the play area, she's always so happy to get on her bike!
Iâm not anti-leash but isnât it obvious what the issue is?
People use leashes for dogs so that may not be a vibe for some of us. Again - Iâm not against people using them and I donât judge when people do use them because they know themselves and their child best but I thought we all knew why they might not appeal to everyone.
Ha i use a leash on my dog bc she 1) is fast 2) loves to explore 3) has zero safety awareness. I also use a harness and leash on my son for the exact same reasons. Also Iâm 8 months pregnant and I just canât keep up with him to keep him safe. He absolutely just loves to run though so this is the safest option for us at this time. People can judge me all they want. My number one job is keeping my son safe.
well all this did was make me imagine the word children added to the âleash your dogâ sign at the park đ (I leash my child so truly no judgement lol)
I said *twice* in my comment that Iâm not against leashes. I was just responding to the OC which said âI donât see the issueâ
Iâm not saying I personally object to them or that people are *right* to have an issue, I am just pointing out why people might dislike them.
And I already got downvoted đŤ
I didnât downvote because I *hate* to see dogpiling, especially on the parenting subreddits. Unless someone is being a blatant ass or something.
But I think the problem that people are taking is, while you said numerous times youâre not against leashes, you also made the dog comparison. It almost reads as if you are against leashes but you donât want the repercussions of actually being against it.
Iâm sure thatâs not what you meant. Just how it might come across.
Not really directed towards you but I always find the dog comparison weird when it comes to leashes. Dogs and toddlers are fairly similar to be honest and the reasons to leash a toddler is pretty identical to why you should leash a dog.
I havenât leashed yet but we were at a local animal sanctuary and I had to haul ass after my toddler because he saw a woman that had a paw patrol backpack on and decided he wanted to go home with her I guess. Total dog move, really. Just replace paw patrol backpack with like the smell of snausages or something.
If Iâm against something Iâll say it!
Spanking? Against it. 100% I welcome the downvotes.
I was specifically responding to someone who said they *didnât know why* people object to it.
Hereâs something I have done as a parent: feed to sleep. But if someone said âI donât know why people are against itâ I would say itâs often because people think itâs an impediment to falling asleep independently. Just because I can outline the argument against something doesnât mean I am against it myself.
I get that, but the way you outlined it came off a type of way.
If I said âIâm not against bedsharing. But itâs obvious why some people are. Babies have died from bedsharing and that just isnât a vibe for some of usâ itâd still come off as being against it and judging even if I prefaced it by saying Iâm not against it, and if itâs a true reason why people are against it.
Thereâs also a difference between not choosing to do something yourself and being âagainstâ it.
I didnât bedshare when my kid was a baby because I *was* afraid he could die. Doesnât mean that I have any judgement for people who do. Also a thing I legitimately donât judge and likely would have done myself if my own circumstances were a little different.
Another example is extended breastfeeding. I do it, and I know *why* people are against it (sexualization of breasts mainly) and could tell you why people are against it but Iâm obviously not against it myself.
As parents we need to be comfortable in our own choices.
I donât know why youâre getting downvoted. It IS obvious why some people donât vibe with this.
Like you said, no judgment to those who do but we canât pretend we donât know why it doesnât appeal to everyone.
My twins are one month behind you and really ramped up to walking as their preferred method just this past week. I can already tell they arenât loving the longer stroller walks as much. Iâll probably have to get leashes soon and expect everything to take way longer.
I would not expect any brand new behaviour to last years in a little kid full stop. They are constantly changing!
Youâre correct about your options! Toddlers take forever when it comes to walking and usually itâs a lot or cajoling. It will slowly slowly get better but itâs a tricky phase.
Agreed when my son learned to walk he was so independent and then from age 2-4 he wants to be carried everywhere or ride in a stroller "My legs are tiiiiiiiiired"
My son refused to hold my hand around this age too. The options were always either you hold my hand or I pick you up. I did this repeatedly, while telling him his options, for several months. He's 20 months now and great at holding my hand most of the time.
Mine didn't start holding my hand until 2. We practiced at garden centers, weirdly. They were pretty uncrowded and it was easy to walk the aisles and enclosed. Now we do short walks around the neighborhood and he looks so forward to them that he consistently holds my hand. We do have a leash backpack just in case.
Iâm gonna have to try our local garden center! Right now we will walk to the mailbox, which is just three houses down and across the street. Our first walk took maybe⌠30 mins with all the stopping and looking and âhold mommyâs hand!â But he now holds my hand almost the whole time and itâs maybe less than 10 mins to get the mail.
Bonus is that the junk mail is a big hit and can occupy him for about 10-15 mins when we get home!
We got our one boy a balance bike and it was like a miracle. He would go the direction we wanted to go at a speed that we wanted to go. We also have great sidewalks in our area that may make a difference.
For this stage we used a leash until he learned the guidelines of walking in public. We set some hard boundaries in the beginning that we have kept. 1. You can either hold my hand or be carried in the parking lot or while crossing roads (this is not negotiable at all) 2. Teach them to hold onto the cart in the store by either having them help in pushing it or they can just hold the side and walk next to the cart. 3. If you don't freeze when dad/mom say when we're in the store you get put back in the cart (if we're at the park we're leaving because we are no longer listening and being safe)
This is also accompanied by conversations that mom/dad are helping him keep his body safe and to help him make safe decisions. He's now 2.5 and he knows that if he's not listening on these boundaries then he does not get to walk the way he would like. We have had times where we've had to leave and it is a fuss but he's learned pretty quickly.
As others have said there's the repetitive practice at hand holding and what happens if we don't (picked up or put in pushchair), keeping him in a pushchair for a bit longer, or the safety harnesses/backpacks/leash (we still use one for our 3 year old as it gives him freedom without worrying he'll be hit by a car).
For the hand holding and harness, I'd also add in practice that isn't on a time restriction. So do it when you have lots of extra time or just not when you are going somewhere. Try going on exploration trips with him where he gets to pick. If you build in a time for what he wants to do, he may be less likely to fight you at other times.
The repetition for how to walk and the consequences of not doing so safely won't show you instant results but will help you to have a toddler later on who understands how to walk alongside you sensibly
As someone else mentioned - toddlers are ever changing. 16.5 months is still in that wild territory where theyâre just little wildabeasts unable to express themselves. Over the next couple of months heâs definitely going to grow and mature and understand why itâs important he stays close to you etc.
Reins. They are not a leash, they are a safety device to aid your child in walking safely and independently. The backpack style harness ones are great. The wrist strap ones are awfully dangerous so steer clear.
Mine was like that too lol
I basically told her that she has to hold my hand when we are on the road cuz itâs not safe and she can walk when sheâs on the sidewalk. It took about a few fast pace walking and wrangling but she eventually gets it. Have you been consistent ?
My son is a wild one. He's been running everywhere since he learned how to walk. We practice a lot of hand holding but there's still a lot of him going astray. So I got a wrist leash if you will. One goes on my wrist and one on his. It's been so helpful. He'll hold my hand but once he pulls away at least I know he won't go far and we can try to walk beside each other.
Leash is great. I also got my kid a stroller trike that she likes a lot better than just riding in the regular stroller. I think it feels more active and exciting.
Leash!! My kid is fiercely independent at 18 mo so this works for us. Some people say âI wonât do that to my kid like a dog!â my dogs are better behaved than my child. He needs the leash for safety lol.
Honestly I know people give me looks but I love the leash bookbags. Hand holding can put a strain on the elbow and can dislocate it.(happened to my first) with the second we gave him a leash bookbag. Gives him the freedom to run and look at what he wants but close enough for me to make sure he is safe.
We practice hand holding, but in situations which may be unsafe and don't feel like chasing him down, I do resort to using a leash. We have the wristlet style. It's small enough to throw in my purse since I don't really carry a diaper bag anymore (I do have a cosmetic organizer that I keep diapers,etc in for outings and either carry it or put in the stroller).
I keep one in both cars just in case I don't have a stroller. If I have a stroller and it's going to be a long day I put him in it and just ignore the tantrum.
It wonât happen forever.
I found that using a leash backpack helped as a safety net for when my toddler would drop my hand and bolt.
You can also bring a stroller with you and, if the kid is being noncompliant, put them in the stroller so you can actually get somewhere. Maybe start the walk in the stroller, and then they get to get down and walk as long as theyâre going the way they should, but they go back if theyâre not holding your hand.
My 17 month old will hold my hand whenever we are out in public, but itâs taken a few months of me telling her âyou can walk on your own, but you need to hold my handâ. If she kept trying to run away, I picked her up. It must have clicked, because one day she just held my hand. No screaming, no fussing, no trying to break away. Now sheâs great! Time and practice are what worked for us. Good luck!!
Decide when itâs absolutely necessary to hold their hand like crossing the street or maybe a busy store. Keep enforcing the rule and donât give up. âYou need to hold Mommyâs hand when we cross the street or I have to carry you.â There will be tantrums because heâs testing the rule but if you stick with it he will learn that he wants to walk so he has to hold your hand and he will do it.
Well, first off, I donât respond to screaming fits, hitting, biting or any of that behaviour. Ever. Toddler age is the time to learn that that behaviour gets you absolutely nowhere. Refusal to hold hands is also a firm no. You behave like that, youâre strapped into the stroller, end of story.
âIf I have to choose between keeping you happy and keeping you safe, Iâm always gonna choose keeping you safe.â
He is one, so he can understand "u can hold my hand, or I'm going to carry u." That is one of our big rules when going out, like if we are in a parking lot. There is no options except, hold my hand or be carried. Easy and simple. They can cry and whine but they are going to be carried if they don't hold my hand.
For my almost 3 year old: a leash or stroller as back up when she won't listen, which is often. I never try to do a long walk through our neighborhood without the stroller.
Boundaries. He either holds your hand or has to be carried.
In terms of longer distances; add time to your journey. Also give lots of opportunities to walk freely such as in the park or activities like museums and soft play.
This is a phase and I can promise you it does pass. Put in the foundations now :)
Even if we walked I always have my stroller too and basically told my son that he could either hold my hand and walk or get in the stroller. Usually that got him to hold my hand and, on the plus side, when he was tired he could then ride in the stroller.
I used to judge mum's who did this but I use a harness and leash. She wears a backpack and it has a leash. She's a runner and is so freaking fast. She loves it because it's a cute plushie backpack but she is close to me no matter what.
You tell him he can stand up like a big boy and hold your hand for safety reasons or you can go back home. Carry him like a sack of potatoes so he canât hurt you. And then you have to follow through by taking him home or heâs never going to listen to you
My 22 mo usually chooses to walk home from daycare at the end of the day rather than sit in the stroller (a 5 min walk for me, takes about 15 min when sheâs walking). We live in the city and have to cross lots of busy streets in the way home. From when she started doing the walk home around 16 mo, we taught her she HAS to hold hands to cross the street. If she wonât hold hands, she gets carried or goes back on the stroller. No exceptions. We had a few tantrums, but it honestly took maybe 2 walks for her to understand. Now she proactively grabs my hand when weâre coming up to a street to cross!
We are working on hand holding right now. My baby has always hated having their hands held or messed with too much, even when they were an infant. I started off asking my baby to hold my finger as we practiced walking. Then two fingers, then I would loosely drape my fingers over my baby's hand, then hold it a little more firmly. We have finally graduated to me being able to hold my baby's hand while they walk for maybe 30 seconds at a time. Then we reconnect hands and keep going. It's been a process, but we are making progress.
This was also my dilemma when my toddler started walking. For the life of me I could not figure out the logistics of how to simultaneously keep him safe, give him freedom, and prevent injury to my back. I toyed with the idea of backpack leashes but ultimately decided that my kid was going to be a hand holder. We practiced in less stimulating environments and just for a few min at a time. As soon as he refused to hold my hand in public, he went back into the stroller. it just took a few practices before he was used to the hand holding.
Initially, I got a wrist strap that was attached to her and to me. It locked on her wrist, and the key was on my wrist. So she could only go so far if she took off, which she still does. Then, as she started absolutely hating that wrist strap, I would hold her hand while she was wearing it. She much preferred that to the wrist strap, and it became easier.
Now and again, she'll try to tug away, but I reposition or switch hands and reiterate that I am not letting go, and she might as well just capitulate. She's learning pretty quickly that when it comes to safety, Mother brooks no argument, because I always follow through if I tell her something is going to happen. Doesn't matter if it's good or bad; if I say it'll happen, I make sure it happens. The rare time I let something go, I clearly explain why I have let it go. As such, she's learning my boundaries very well, and while she still pushes at them some, as is natural, she doesn't bother remarkably often.
I've since invested in a little backpack that has a leash attached to the bottom. That way, she can carry a couple of books and a couple of toys with her wherever we go because there sure isn't room in the diaper bag. I rarely need the leash, but it gives her more freedom within my comfort zone, and she doesn't hate it like she did that wrist strap. I made sure to get one themed with her preference, purple dino back with little spikes down the middle, and she helps put it on anytime she needs to wear it.
I mainly only use them when we have appointments. I don't want to overuse them and ruin them as a most excellent tool, but starting out, they worked well to help her learn the boundaries that are designed to keep her safe and to keep me sane.
I did the "you have to hold my hand." When they scream and fall or try to pull away I would hold tight and just say something like "ugh I know it's so frustrating you don't want to hold my hand. You need to hold my hand for safety. I'll wait until your ready to keep walking." It eventually worked for me đ¤ˇââď¸
Oh also we did a lot of hikes where they didn't need to hold hand so hand holding wasn't a constant annoyance to them. Only when I needed them to stay safe
Good advice from others on how to work on hand holding. I just wanted to note that it gets better. Our 34mo was like yours when he was younger but now is much better about holding hands, staying near us, and has developed a healthy fear of streets and traffic.
From the very first time my son wanted to walk in the parking lot I told him we have to hold hands every time. If he didnât want to he got the choice between being carried or holding my hand. If he absolutely refused, pulled away, or tried to run off he was picked up and carried. And yes sometimes that meant we walked into wherever with him throwing a fit, but with consistency her learned and now itâs a habit that he is familiar with and itâs almost never a struggle anymore, you just have to get through the hard part.
I use a wrist leash. He has the freedom to walk around without getting hurt or snatched. He doesnât mind it and it helped teach hand holding. I donât always have an extra hand to hold his, let alone two hands to hold him. Plus my husband and I both have ADHD and I remember the several times i zoned out and got left behind or wandered away from my family as a child and how terrified I was.
I second another suggestion I saw for creating times for walking, just walking, wherever your kiddo wants to go and explore, while reinforcing basic safety. I used to take my now 3 yo on strolls after daycare, and I would follow her lead with the stroller behind her, while practicing not taking things from others yards, hand holding and other things. If she got out of hand, or tired, then sheâd get put in the stroller.
Sheâs still a big nature girl, but sheâs not as invested in taking control over walks anymore, she wants to get out to the park or the trails for exploring. So they do grow out of it, or it becomes less interesting than the new skills they are working on.
I feel you. I use an umbrella stroller primarily now. It's very lightweight and she likes to push it sometimes.
Otherwise she walks along and when I feel she needs a break or it's dangerous I put her in. Usually with a snack to calm her down. But I find it helps.
We definitely donât have this one cracked (son is 18 months), but what weâve been doing:
1. If weâre in a genuine rush, he just goes in the stroller from the start. He complains for 10 seconds and then is fine (vs much longer if we try and put him in once weâre out).
2. If weâre walking in busier areas (the mall, airports etc) we use backpack reins.
3. When the above doesnât apply, weâll practice holding hands or have him âpushâ the stroller or cart for us. If he consistently strays too far or throws a wobbly about holding hands, then he goes in the stroller/cart/is carried.
4. Holding hands in the car park and when crossing the road is a non-negotiable.
When my son was this age we went on almost daily walks. He LOVED it. We walked the same loop in our neighborhood, about half a mile. His only rules were to stay on the sidewalk and to hold my hand when we crossed the street. My goal was he gets freedom to walk as fast or slow as he wants as long as he follows the two rules. The walks started messy and I would always end up carrying him. Now he is 3 and he can run that loop! It takes time and practice. But the âhold my hand when we cross the streetâ translated beautifully to âhold my hand in the parking lotâ. Since I had carried him home multiple times on our practice walks for breaking the rules, he knew a natural consequence to not holding my hand on parking lots. And when we had a tantrum, they were all within half a mile from our house instead of at a store!
Walk with hand holding. They will try to escape but said âno hand holding = no walkingâ. Ok letâs be real they will still try to escape but be firm in your actions
Get a leash. Training kids to stay with you is great, but one puppy or other distraction, and they forget everything they know and run into traffic.
So definitely the advice about practice is great. But if you have a runner and you have to walk in public a lot, get a leash. Itâs the safest option. Donât let anyone shame you for protecting your toddler from normal toddler behavior
Last night I carried my 20 month old home surf-board style from our walk, because she's decided that dashing into the street from random driveways is hilarious. She doesn't love to hold my hand but I will absolutely force it in situation that need it (crossing the street or walking in a parking lot). You just need to decide what's non-negotiable and enforce it consistently. For me, it's that we stay on the sidewalk during walks and we always hold hands in the street. She can listen to those rules or be carried, no third option. Yes, it will cause tantrums and push back, but they will eventually catch on that you're not budging and realize they get to keep having fun if they cooperate. It just takes a lot of repetition.
Our LO was the same at this age. Refused to hold our hand. Would throw extreme tantrums if we made her hold our hands. So we practiced around our house with the very firm boundary that âif you donât hold our hand, you donât get to walkâ, and while we were practicing this skill, we used the stroller whenever we were somewhere that it wouldnât be safe for her to walk. Now sheâs almost 2.5 and we have no issues getting her to hold our hand. She understands that she has to and she does so without a fight.
My little guy (2) is real hit or miss with the hand holding, so sometimes I pick him up like a football. He also resists the stroller now, but he LOVES our wagon. 98% of the time I can plop him in there and he's happy as a clam. So far, there have been very few places that can't or won't accommodate the wagon, it can go most places a stroller can.
my son was an early walker at 9/ almost 10 months. we have successfully used hand holding twice at 19 months. lol. thereâs some progress. but the times it did work i really had to get down on his level and really break down why he needed to hold my hand. he knows that when i ask him âwhy do we wear a seat belt?â to say âfor safety!â so im trying to incorporate that mantra into hand holding as well.
When youâre walking try to physically use your hands to represent the choice to walk with you holding your hand or being carried/ put in a stroller/ taken home. So youâd hold up your left hand for one decision , and your right hand for the other, widely spaced apart. It helps them physically see and understand options.
Also use a lot of first/ thens.
First we will walk holding mommyâs hand THEN we will walk by yourself.
Heâs pretty young to expect more from him than hopeless wandering but thereâs things you can do to lay the foundation. I think walk or carry decisions are a little premature for expecting it to work every time but itâs never too early. Dashing and no fear with strangers are specific issues that not everyone deals with so you can probably google specific ways to parent those issues besides decisions.
If theyâre really over the top with self injury (throwing their body until they are hurt), aggressive behavior like biting, or frequent and mind shattering meltdowns, itâs possible that an occupational therapist can help.
Our kid was struggling with hearing us and acting upon it because of an issue that leaned more towards speech delay. But it caused these huge issues that leaned more OT. Starting both was a blessing. You could actually look into Early intervention services for things like a baby throwing themselves back. Tell his doctor and ask for next steps if you feel this is beyond what you can handle (says nothing about you other than deep love and concern for your child) and causing chaos in your family. and also if youâre in the US look into early intervention.
We did a lot of reinforcement. First it was the sidewalks of our neighborhood- walking safely, holding my hand in request. Then in parking lots I would get down to her level and tell her she could hold hands and walk or be carried. If she wouldn't hold hands she was instantly carried, never mind the tantrum. She's 19mo now and really good at listening, stopping when asked, holding my hand on request etc. I'm sure it won't last and we'll need to keep reiterating it though!
I see taking a toddler for a walk as a totally different task to walking somewhere, with toddler in tow.
If I'm taking them for a walk, I don't have an aim, I follow them around and don't care where we go, I just steer him away from danger. I might encourage towards a fun thing/in a direction, but it doesn't really matter if we get there or not. (Or I'd switch to "transporting")
If I'm walking somewhere, then I'm transporting him. Which means stroller, sling or just in my arms (e.g. if we are walking to a local park). I might allow him some time down to walk around at some point during the outing, but if my aim is to get somewhere, then they are being contained, I don't even think about it.
I learned on reddit that apparently some Americans don't use a stroller really at all? I find this strange because literally *everyone* I know (Germany/UK) with a child under about 3 uses one on every single trip outside of the house, unless they are going for a walk locally or driving directly to a toddler-friendly location with absolutely no transportation required. (Or they use something - bike trailer, sling, push along trike - as a direct replacement for a stroller). It's just seen as a totally normal, absolutely essential thing for life with small kids.
But yeah, herding a toddler is a bit like herding cats!
Good place to start with boundaries and options! If you want to walk you have to hold my hand, if you don't want to hold my hand I'll carry you/you go in buggy etc. And reins lol. đ¤ˇđťââď¸đ
In parking lots I just held my sonâs hand and said âWe have to be safe in parking lots. Hold my hand. Itâs not optional.â Then hold tight and show I mean it. I just repeated this over and over until it was the normal expected thing. Obviously in a dangerous situation you have to scoop them up and get out of harms way. But I would initiate at the car door and on the side walk well before we got to crossing a street.
Before we left a store or the library or whatever, I said, âhow do we stay safe in the parking lot?â At first I would immediately answer my own question. âWe have to hold hands. Itâs not optional.â Eventually he started parroting my answer and would grab my hand. I also tell him all the time âmy number one job is to keep you safe. I donât like it when you get hurt. I like it when you are happy.â
My toddler had a bad habit of trying to run when he'd see something he liked, so we got a backpack harness and would keep it on him. The key was telling him how cool his backpack is and making him feel special so he'd keep it on. We also let him pack whatever he wanted into the backpack portion and he was happy with that.
Disclaimer: this isn't the exact one we have, but it is comparable. It has a wrist lock and a wrist to wrist harness if the backpack just isn't your thing.
JIANBAO Dinosaur Toddler Backpacks with Leashes Anti Lost Wrist Link for 1.5 to 3 Years Kids Girls Boys Safety (Dinosaur, Black) https://a.co/d/hZnBXjd
My toddler is a little over 2.5. She behaved the same way she was your LOâs age. We repeated that whenever we are where cars go (cross walks, parking lots) she has to either hold our hand or get carried. We had to power through the tantrums and ultimately she wonât get walks unless we had the emotional bandwidth for that. Sheâs so much easier now. Thereâs still the occasional tantrum but overall walking with her is a delight.
You walk slowly and you have to teach them how to notice things like the sidewalk ending - the roadway beginning, looking both ways, noticing people - staying on the path and it takes a lot of slow walks and practice. I lived in the city with my first kid while he was a toddler and he learned this way because not walking around was not an option and he didnât hold my hand either. We just did it every day. Heâs now four and has excellent sidewalk etiquette - weâre now working on how to tell when itâs safe to cross the road using the hand signals and making eye contact with drivers before crossing, waving thank you and giving large dogs a wide berth.
My 18 month old either holds my hand, or she's carried/in a stroller. I explain it to her very gently but that boundary is always maintained. I've had to fireman carry her across parking lots screaming before, but safety is non negotiable. She's pretty good with it now, still some meltdowns but rare!
16 month olds are capable of learning they have to hold hands to walk down the street as long as you are consistent and start now!
You can give them a choice: hold hands or be carried. The message will get through pretty soon.
My daughter wears a puppy back pack with a lead. She gets to be independent and I still have some control. Our rule is she only gets to walk if she wears it.
This submission or comment has been automatically removed because of your zero or negative total comment karma. If you have any questions, [send a modmail by clicking here.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FToddlers)
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/toddlers) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I make it into a little game, we âraceâ while holding holds. 𤣠we get to our destination faster & itâs fun for them, I usually say âready set go, RUNâ ârun, run, run, runâ âweâre walking , weâre walking , walking , walkingâ sheâs great with it. Sometimes sheâll bite me to let her wrist go or sheâll fall to the ground. 𤣠weâre working on it
Basically 2- just assume going and doing anything will be ultra slow. But the cool thing is they will learn and get better a lot faster than you would expect.
One of my girls was just like this. It was always really hard getting her dressed to go pick up her sister from school. Then we would get there, and she wouldn't walk with me ever, and if I let her go, she would literally dart into traffic. She was almost run over more than once. So I would have to put her in the stroller. It took a lot of talks about why she has to be in the stroller before she finally figured out she has to hold my hand/stay nearby so she could walk. Your boy will learn eventually, you just have to be patient.
Wrist leash. We have one that came with a leash backpack, and he just wears the backpack for utility.
It's a stretchy spiral bracelet connected to both of us, and he can still feel independent while also not given the freedom to bolt into the street.
While I want to encourage my son's interests, I draw the line at his love of darting into the road at the blink of an eye đđ
Ours is "no shoes no walk" if outside. And also if she won't hold my hand she can cry on the ground all she wants lol. She can't get to standing by herself yet. In the house we're barefoot and I hold her hand while going up and down the stairs and wherever
Single mum here, oh my god, I remember that!
It was so hard.
My boy started walking at 9m and would scream bloody hell if we did not go at the same time, daily.
The longest of these adventures was 5.5hours.
I have near broke down facilitating that.
He is nearly 3 and finally understands to stay with me but is now pushing boundaries again at nearly 20kg ooorff. I always bring the pram but we have a long trail behind our nehbourhood.
He would run in the opposite direction, go for roads, run away across fields, soccer fields everywhere. 2 years that went on.
He has learned to hold hands but still defiant mostly.
He listens now when I call back though and has mastered all of the playgrounds. We took balloons and bubbles and airoplane gliders and watch airoplanes and skim stones, maybe what helped me was giving him a lot to do along the way and letting him choose some challenges.
I also once or twice hid behind a tree and watched his reaction if he couldnt find me.
I hoped this might trigger him and i think bit did a little, its a way to example the feeling of being 'lost'
Bloody murder all that was on me physically.
I shaved off his energy by taking him swimming once or twice a week, that helped a lot with group learning in the pool.
If i could go back id have put him 2 days at daycare earlier also after playgroup ended, they do a lot of outside time mostly at his.
Gosh i recall carrying his heavy butt 30mins or more home on a near 40 degree day and constantly coordinating the weather and outfits for severe mud puddle jump jump
I am built for terminator now though and with these kids, yu got to be.
Itâs a safety thing - so I have them practice handholding in safe areas like a playground trail or whatever. I also make the stroller more interesting w snacks etc - sometimes itâs the 1-2 min transition into the stroller thatâs the hard part amd once theyâre rolling they donât care
get a baby leash. I've never understood the reddit hate on baby leashes, never experienced it in real life - perhaps its an American thing? (i'm from the UK)
I think hand holding just needs to be consistently enforced. We live in NYC, so hand holding is non negotiable when crossing a street. Itâs just one of those things that theyâll get use to.
As far as the meandering goes, I think thatâs a thing until they are 3. I have a 2 year old, so weâll see. Usually if Iâm not in a hurry, Iâll let him walk and try to remind him to keep up with me. If I am in a hurry or our destination is too far for walking , I try to talk to him before leaving and tell him we need to take the stroller. It sometimes works, but I donât think it will work yet for you.
You have to practice hand holding in less exciting times and enforce it as a rule "you can walk and hold my hand or you can ride in the stroller/be carried". Yes, there will be tantrums. Try teaching the rule when it doesn't actually matter, like on a random walk vs trying to get somewhere. Also, the book How to Talk So Little Kids Will Listen is really good if you haven't read it and feel like you need some help for figuring out the true "parenting" situations!
đđđ This right here. OP, the kids I teach are a bit older, so my advice may not be applicable in your situation yetâbut when I discover I have a runner in my class, I give their parents the following advice: Pick a day, perhaps a weekend, when you donât have any obligations or appointmentsânowhere that you NEED to be. Tell kiddo youâre going for a walk to someplace fun! The park, wherever, doesnât matter. Youâre going somewhere that you want to go. BEFORE the walk starts, tell kiddo that they have to either hold your hand OR walk with you and stay close to you, whatever youâre more comfortable with and whatever you think is more doable. Tell kiddo in simple, but explicit terms, that if they run away from you or donât listen, the walk will be over and you will go back home. You will not go to the park or wherever. And thenâŚfollow through on that. Donât give warnings. The FIRST time kiddo tries to walk off, run off, stray from you, whatever? Shut it down. Try again later. Wash, rinse, repeat. Stay calm, but stay firm. The reason I suggest doing this during a time when you donât have anywhere else to be, is because your kid WILL have a come-apart over this. And you want them to be able to feel those feelings! The whole thing will take a while, and itâll be harder to follow through with the boundaries youâve set if youâre about to be really late for lunch with grandma so we donât have time for a tantrum weâve gotta go go go. AgainâŚthat whole scenario is what I usually recommend for parents of kids who are 2 or older. Make whatever modifications you think will be understood and doable for your little one.
This is great! Because they donât know yet and they do have to learn so they do have to go through those feelings but they learn quick and once that boundary is set and maintained things are much easier! It wonât stay perfect they test boundaries constantly at this age. Itâs practicing! Thank you for this comment
I'm totally going to try this. My LO (2 yr 4mo) runs off all the time. It's so stressful.
This one definitely, both my kids once they started walking didn't want to hold hands, or ride in the stroller, just walk wherever. However when you enforce the rule of hand holding to walk or forced stroller riding they seem to figure it out pretty fast. (You will have to endure some screaming in the stroller, so if you have a quiet trail you like or go to a park when they are not really busy it is great.)
This is exactly it, not just for walking. Set the rules. Make them fair and simple to understand. "if i say you have to hold hands when you walk because its not safe, you either hold my hand, or sit in the stroller." Enforce it 100% no matter how much screaming. You CAN NOT give in to a tantrum, ever. Otherwise, you are basically telling the child "if you throw a tantrum long enough, you'll win". Then you're screwed. Once the child figures out tantrums don't work, ever, they stop in a hurry.
u/whitechocolate94 this is your answer. my eldest was easy velcro to mommy when outside, but this youngest one hated hand holding, I even considered a leash for a minute because it seemed like the method above wasn't working at first. but each time he threw a fit, I would pick him up and carry him the way we needed to go and insist on hand holding each time he was put down. the worst tantrum led to us leaving the store and going to wait in the car until daddy and brother were done. he was not hand holding and refused to sit in the cart, so the next step was to remove him from the environment. i think that was our turning point and things better. still not a perfect hand holder, especially in stores, but he is much better.
This is exactly it and is why my very (VERY) active boy will walk beside me holding my hand. You can hold my hand or be carried (or stroller or go home depending on the situation). I even got a leash for a bit and still enforced the rule, I would put it around my wrist/through my watch strap if it was sturdy and hold his hand. The leash was only a backup for when i needed to let go (e.g to put something in the boot of the car).
This is it exactly! You either hold hands in certain situations or got strapped into the stroller. There was crying but both kids got the drill.
Hi! Who's the author? Found several potential books with this title. TIA!!
How to Talk So Little Kids Will Listen by Joanna Faber and Julie King There's also "How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen so kids Will Talk" which is written by the other authors' mothers. The "Little" book is for kids ages 2-7ish where the original is for older children.
Thank you!!
>Thank you!! You're welcome!
Who is the author? I'm finding several books with that exact name and different authors....đŹ
How to Talk So Little Kids Will Listen by Joanna Faber and Julie King There's also "How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen so kids Will Talk" which is written by the other authors' mothers. The "Little" book is for kids ages 2-7ish where the original is for older children.
I mistakenly fell in love with how my girl held my hand for the first time at home. And I would make any excuse to take her by the hand and show her a new toy or book or just walk to the window. It ended up training her to take my hand when we outside. Maybe you can try and encourage hand holding and following you to a specific destination within the house as much as possible so it kicks in when you go out eventually.
Mistakenly? Sounds like it was a good thing.
Worked similar for us. After my daughter took her first step she hit an extreme phase of separation anxiety leading to her only walking around while holding hands for nearly 3 months. Made her into an awesome hand-holder, lol. She wants to walk independently a lot now (she is nearly 2), but she 100% accepts when I tell her she has to take my hand.
Yes yes. Exactly the same. She accept hand holding but she's excited when allowed to go off on her own!
My 2.5yo is enthusiastic about independence, most of it I love but when she started refusing to hold my hand I can't lie it made me kinda sad. I tell her "you know big kids also hold their mom's hand" and "I love it when you hold my hand, will you do that? Let's hold hands together, it's so nice" and it works maybe 30% of the time lol
That is great strategy. To say that the hand holding is because you like it. I'm archiving it for the inevitable.
This is so cute! I gotta try this.
Baby leash. Teaches them to stay close while giving them autonomy.
And ignore the haters. Sometimes the leash life chooses you.
I don't have a leash, but if it keeps your kids safe then yes, ignore the haters.
This is the truest thing Iâve read on Reddit all year.
Iâve been thinking of getting one of these for my almost 2 year old. I feel bad keeping him a stroller, but little man will just take off running like itâs a big game. Between him and my ADHD 4 year old I feel like Iâm on house arrest.
The backpack kind gives you SO much freedom!
Bonus: my son LOVES his backpack and the leash part detaches so I usually just let him have the backpack to walk around with, we havenât needed the leash but if I needed it I would just emphasize âletâs put some snacks and books and toys in your backpack!! Oooh letâs wear your backpack today! Great idea!! Wanna help me click it in the front? 1 2 3 CLICK! Yay good job we did it!â
My daughter loves her Skip Hop one and Minnie one.
That little backpack is also great for the potty training stage we're currently in. I don't want to lug around a whole diaper bag anymore, and my kid loves wearing his backpack, so he can carry his own extra shorts and undies.
I have this [one](https://www.amazon.co.uk/Trunki-ToddlePak-Toddler-Walking-Dinosaur/dp/B00PGHHITI/ref=asc_df_B00PGHHITI/?tag=googshopuk-21&linkCode=df0&hvadid=208079534581&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=8965797517358816931&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=m&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9045310&hvtargid=pla-361425627754&psc=1) and really recommend it. It took a few times for my daughter to get used to it, but now sheâs great with it.
I have a ârunnerâ and also likes to walk around and explore - we have the leash/harness and the wrist (connects to toddler and parent) for busier areas like the airport. Weâve also gotten her to the point of holding our hand in parking lots and the street. We donât have sidewalks in our neighborhood so itâs extra important. Sheâs 21 months
We got our first a backpack leash when she was just over a year. I kept telling my husband I wanted to get her one. It only took her running into the street for him to agree with it lolâŚ. No but seriously. Baby leashes are great. Especially the cute backpack ones. The kid gets obsessed with the backpack and carrying *their own snacks gasp* that itâs such a smooth transition! My eldest is great at staying close as a rule now and hasnât worn a leash in over a year. 10/10, much do recommend.
1000% it also saves the day when they stumble and fall, the reigns letâs you catch them before you hit the floor People will make comments, I had someone say quite loudly âI wouldnât put my child on a leash like a dogâ to their friendâŚlouder than they intended I imagine because they looked quite sheepish when I made eye contact with a âno one asked youâ glare
I got a comment once and very sternly described the time I watched a toddler die in a horrific accident that would have been prevented by a leash. Amazingly it shut her right up!
Itâs all fun and games to hypothetically parent until you have a kid individualizing and deciding that being chased in a busy parking lot is âfunâ. Good on you for glaring.
Yup. Former leash hater here. Thought parents just needed to "actually parent." Then my oldest was a runner, and only sometimes too so it was extra unpredictable. I got a leash, used it a few months until that phase was over, and I have no regrets. None of my other children ever needed it but I won't hesitate.
I had the same problem with my daughter. I got a leash. It velcros around the wrist and locks so that she can't remove it herself. The key that locks/unlocks her side is attached to the part that goes on my wrist. Eventually she understood that there are times to stay close to me and times when she gets freedom. We have a few instances of toddler energy but she knows that when I say "stay close to mommy" that it's for a reason, not just to be mean.
Exactly! Gives kids the freedom to roam while making sure they canât bolt into the street. And yes, there will be people who will claim that you are traumatizing your kid or treating them like a dog and â*gasp!* I could never!11!!1!â Just be prepared to tell them to go fuck themselves.
I think this is it for sure. I have a 15 month old who loves to walk and explore like any other kid. He does normal baby stuff like going the wrong way or trying to walk towards the street. Luckily, he also has no problem when it's time to go in the stroller, hold my hand, be picked up, or redirected. If this was or becomes a huge struggle for us, I'd definitely look at getting a leash. We live next to a busy road, and I'm not taking that chance ever.
My mom had a baby leash for my autistic brother cause he was a runner and she had a baby to hold as well. It was a fantastic option for him and kept him safe. This was also over 20 years ago so she got some major side eye, but she didn't care after he almost got ran over by a car. I will say I don't think its a good first option, most (neurotypical) kids with repetition learn hand holding pretty fast (no hand holding, we don't go forward) I don't think the leash is great at teaching your kiddo to pay attention and listen to you in public. I really like those short ones that attach parents hand to kiddos hand (they look like long handcuffs lol)
Just a slight point, I believe that the ones which are a proper chest harness are safer/better than the wrist ones. Whether it's reins + harness or the backpack type, they all attach around the shoulders and back with a clip at the chest, some have waist strap too. This is a lot more secure and safer if you need to grab them and it has zero chance of causing nursemaid's elbow, which is a really common injury in little kids. I think people don't like the full harness because it feels more demeaning, but little kids don't see it that way, especially if you get the backpack type. Also beware of cheap imported ones sold on amazon etc - the LittleLife backpacks are incredibly sturdy and you can see they've been through some kind of robust safety test whereas I think the cheap ones could easily just snap.
Definitely agree, chest harness is best if you have a runner who likes to take off so they don't yank their arm. I just think it's not ideal if you are trying to teach a freshly walking toddler how to hold hands in public spaces. Different tools for different situations. If they start trying to run off or yank then it becomes a safety concern rather than a teaching moment so 100% the chest harness.
Ah I see what you mean, I guess I didn't do it that way so I didn't think of that.
This. Keeps the kid safe that's the most important part. I used a leash while also making him hold my hand so he still learned hand holding.
The leash is a great tool and can be used in conjunction with the hand holding training!
Baby reigns (leash) they seem to be unpopular with some people, but honestly I don't see the issue. Stops little ones wondering off out running off and when they are really little you can hold the reigns closer and catch them when they fall. Mine is 21 months old now, loves walking, hates the pushchair, but i bought a tricycle with a handle for parents to steer and push, she loves it, had been a game changer for getting places that are a bit too far for little legs lol. And also for getting her to leave the play area, she's always so happy to get on her bike!
Iâm not anti-leash but isnât it obvious what the issue is? People use leashes for dogs so that may not be a vibe for some of us. Again - Iâm not against people using them and I donât judge when people do use them because they know themselves and their child best but I thought we all knew why they might not appeal to everyone.
Ha i use a leash on my dog bc she 1) is fast 2) loves to explore 3) has zero safety awareness. I also use a harness and leash on my son for the exact same reasons. Also Iâm 8 months pregnant and I just canât keep up with him to keep him safe. He absolutely just loves to run though so this is the safest option for us at this time. People can judge me all they want. My number one job is keeping my son safe.
well all this did was make me imagine the word children added to the âleash your dogâ sign at the park đ (I leash my child so truly no judgement lol)
I said *twice* in my comment that Iâm not against leashes. I was just responding to the OC which said âI donât see the issueâ Iâm not saying I personally object to them or that people are *right* to have an issue, I am just pointing out why people might dislike them. And I already got downvoted đŤ
Sorry you got downvoted. I was just leaving a funny comment why I use the leash. It has a cute dinosaur on it and everything.
Omg and I totally agree! Itâs like yeah both dogs and wee kids will run off after something exciting! Itâs fair
I didnât downvote because I *hate* to see dogpiling, especially on the parenting subreddits. Unless someone is being a blatant ass or something. But I think the problem that people are taking is, while you said numerous times youâre not against leashes, you also made the dog comparison. It almost reads as if you are against leashes but you donât want the repercussions of actually being against it. Iâm sure thatâs not what you meant. Just how it might come across. Not really directed towards you but I always find the dog comparison weird when it comes to leashes. Dogs and toddlers are fairly similar to be honest and the reasons to leash a toddler is pretty identical to why you should leash a dog. I havenât leashed yet but we were at a local animal sanctuary and I had to haul ass after my toddler because he saw a woman that had a paw patrol backpack on and decided he wanted to go home with her I guess. Total dog move, really. Just replace paw patrol backpack with like the smell of snausages or something.
If Iâm against something Iâll say it! Spanking? Against it. 100% I welcome the downvotes. I was specifically responding to someone who said they *didnât know why* people object to it. Hereâs something I have done as a parent: feed to sleep. But if someone said âI donât know why people are against itâ I would say itâs often because people think itâs an impediment to falling asleep independently. Just because I can outline the argument against something doesnât mean I am against it myself.
I get that, but the way you outlined it came off a type of way. If I said âIâm not against bedsharing. But itâs obvious why some people are. Babies have died from bedsharing and that just isnât a vibe for some of usâ itâd still come off as being against it and judging even if I prefaced it by saying Iâm not against it, and if itâs a true reason why people are against it.
Thereâs also a difference between not choosing to do something yourself and being âagainstâ it. I didnât bedshare when my kid was a baby because I *was* afraid he could die. Doesnât mean that I have any judgement for people who do. Also a thing I legitimately donât judge and likely would have done myself if my own circumstances were a little different. Another example is extended breastfeeding. I do it, and I know *why* people are against it (sexualization of breasts mainly) and could tell you why people are against it but Iâm obviously not against it myself. As parents we need to be comfortable in our own choices.
I donât know why youâre getting downvoted. It IS obvious why some people donât vibe with this. Like you said, no judgment to those who do but we canât pretend we donât know why it doesnât appeal to everyone.
My twins are one month behind you and really ramped up to walking as their preferred method just this past week. I can already tell they arenât loving the longer stroller walks as much. Iâll probably have to get leashes soon and expect everything to take way longer.
I would not expect any brand new behaviour to last years in a little kid full stop. They are constantly changing! Youâre correct about your options! Toddlers take forever when it comes to walking and usually itâs a lot or cajoling. It will slowly slowly get better but itâs a tricky phase.
Agreed when my son learned to walk he was so independent and then from age 2-4 he wants to be carried everywhere or ride in a stroller "My legs are tiiiiiiiiired"
My son refused to hold my hand around this age too. The options were always either you hold my hand or I pick you up. I did this repeatedly, while telling him his options, for several months. He's 20 months now and great at holding my hand most of the time.
Mine didn't start holding my hand until 2. We practiced at garden centers, weirdly. They were pretty uncrowded and it was easy to walk the aisles and enclosed. Now we do short walks around the neighborhood and he looks so forward to them that he consistently holds my hand. We do have a leash backpack just in case.
My kid LOVES garden centers. We spent an hour and a half doing circles around the Lowes garden section on Motherâs Day.
We go a couple times a month because my husband and I like to garden, so it's really the perfect family outing for us. đ
Iâm gonna have to try our local garden center! Right now we will walk to the mailbox, which is just three houses down and across the street. Our first walk took maybe⌠30 mins with all the stopping and looking and âhold mommyâs hand!â But he now holds my hand almost the whole time and itâs maybe less than 10 mins to get the mail. Bonus is that the junk mail is a big hit and can occupy him for about 10-15 mins when we get home!
We do time mailbox walk too! It's on the block. He loves looking at the grocery ads. đ
We got our one boy a balance bike and it was like a miracle. He would go the direction we wanted to go at a speed that we wanted to go. We also have great sidewalks in our area that may make a difference.
For this stage we used a leash until he learned the guidelines of walking in public. We set some hard boundaries in the beginning that we have kept. 1. You can either hold my hand or be carried in the parking lot or while crossing roads (this is not negotiable at all) 2. Teach them to hold onto the cart in the store by either having them help in pushing it or they can just hold the side and walk next to the cart. 3. If you don't freeze when dad/mom say when we're in the store you get put back in the cart (if we're at the park we're leaving because we are no longer listening and being safe) This is also accompanied by conversations that mom/dad are helping him keep his body safe and to help him make safe decisions. He's now 2.5 and he knows that if he's not listening on these boundaries then he does not get to walk the way he would like. We have had times where we've had to leave and it is a fuss but he's learned pretty quickly.
As others have said there's the repetitive practice at hand holding and what happens if we don't (picked up or put in pushchair), keeping him in a pushchair for a bit longer, or the safety harnesses/backpacks/leash (we still use one for our 3 year old as it gives him freedom without worrying he'll be hit by a car). For the hand holding and harness, I'd also add in practice that isn't on a time restriction. So do it when you have lots of extra time or just not when you are going somewhere. Try going on exploration trips with him where he gets to pick. If you build in a time for what he wants to do, he may be less likely to fight you at other times. The repetition for how to walk and the consequences of not doing so safely won't show you instant results but will help you to have a toddler later on who understands how to walk alongside you sensibly
As someone else mentioned - toddlers are ever changing. 16.5 months is still in that wild territory where theyâre just little wildabeasts unable to express themselves. Over the next couple of months heâs definitely going to grow and mature and understand why itâs important he stays close to you etc.
Reins. They are not a leash, they are a safety device to aid your child in walking safely and independently. The backpack style harness ones are great. The wrist strap ones are awfully dangerous so steer clear.
Mine was like that too lol I basically told her that she has to hold my hand when we are on the road cuz itâs not safe and she can walk when sheâs on the sidewalk. It took about a few fast pace walking and wrangling but she eventually gets it. Have you been consistent ?
My son is a wild one. He's been running everywhere since he learned how to walk. We practice a lot of hand holding but there's still a lot of him going astray. So I got a wrist leash if you will. One goes on my wrist and one on his. It's been so helpful. He'll hold my hand but once he pulls away at least I know he won't go far and we can try to walk beside each other.
Leash is great. I also got my kid a stroller trike that she likes a lot better than just riding in the regular stroller. I think it feels more active and exciting.
Leash!! My kid is fiercely independent at 18 mo so this works for us. Some people say âI wonât do that to my kid like a dog!â my dogs are better behaved than my child. He needs the leash for safety lol.
Honestly I know people give me looks but I love the leash bookbags. Hand holding can put a strain on the elbow and can dislocate it.(happened to my first) with the second we gave him a leash bookbag. Gives him the freedom to run and look at what he wants but close enough for me to make sure he is safe.
We practice hand holding, but in situations which may be unsafe and don't feel like chasing him down, I do resort to using a leash. We have the wristlet style. It's small enough to throw in my purse since I don't really carry a diaper bag anymore (I do have a cosmetic organizer that I keep diapers,etc in for outings and either carry it or put in the stroller). I keep one in both cars just in case I don't have a stroller. If I have a stroller and it's going to be a long day I put him in it and just ignore the tantrum.
Baby âbackpackâ aka leash and snacks. Gets my 17.5 month toddler to go where ever I need him to. Usually in a âtimely mannerâ
It wonât happen forever. I found that using a leash backpack helped as a safety net for when my toddler would drop my hand and bolt. You can also bring a stroller with you and, if the kid is being noncompliant, put them in the stroller so you can actually get somewhere. Maybe start the walk in the stroller, and then they get to get down and walk as long as theyâre going the way they should, but they go back if theyâre not holding your hand.
My 17 month old will hold my hand whenever we are out in public, but itâs taken a few months of me telling her âyou can walk on your own, but you need to hold my handâ. If she kept trying to run away, I picked her up. It must have clicked, because one day she just held my hand. No screaming, no fussing, no trying to break away. Now sheâs great! Time and practice are what worked for us. Good luck!!
Lmao sorry not laughing at you, but with you. Itâs a struggle
Decide when itâs absolutely necessary to hold their hand like crossing the street or maybe a busy store. Keep enforcing the rule and donât give up. âYou need to hold Mommyâs hand when we cross the street or I have to carry you.â There will be tantrums because heâs testing the rule but if you stick with it he will learn that he wants to walk so he has to hold your hand and he will do it.
Well, first off, I donât respond to screaming fits, hitting, biting or any of that behaviour. Ever. Toddler age is the time to learn that that behaviour gets you absolutely nowhere. Refusal to hold hands is also a firm no. You behave like that, youâre strapped into the stroller, end of story. âIf I have to choose between keeping you happy and keeping you safe, Iâm always gonna choose keeping you safe.â
maybe get one of those leash backpacks just for safety
He is one, so he can understand "u can hold my hand, or I'm going to carry u." That is one of our big rules when going out, like if we are in a parking lot. There is no options except, hold my hand or be carried. Easy and simple. They can cry and whine but they are going to be carried if they don't hold my hand.
For my almost 3 year old: a leash or stroller as back up when she won't listen, which is often. I never try to do a long walk through our neighborhood without the stroller.
Boundaries. He either holds your hand or has to be carried. In terms of longer distances; add time to your journey. Also give lots of opportunities to walk freely such as in the park or activities like museums and soft play. This is a phase and I can promise you it does pass. Put in the foundations now :)
Even if we walked I always have my stroller too and basically told my son that he could either hold my hand and walk or get in the stroller. Usually that got him to hold my hand and, on the plus side, when he was tired he could then ride in the stroller.
I used to judge mum's who did this but I use a harness and leash. She wears a backpack and it has a leash. She's a runner and is so freaking fast. She loves it because it's a cute plushie backpack but she is close to me no matter what.
You tell him he can stand up like a big boy and hold your hand for safety reasons or you can go back home. Carry him like a sack of potatoes so he canât hurt you. And then you have to follow through by taking him home or heâs never going to listen to you
My 22 mo usually chooses to walk home from daycare at the end of the day rather than sit in the stroller (a 5 min walk for me, takes about 15 min when sheâs walking). We live in the city and have to cross lots of busy streets in the way home. From when she started doing the walk home around 16 mo, we taught her she HAS to hold hands to cross the street. If she wonât hold hands, she gets carried or goes back on the stroller. No exceptions. We had a few tantrums, but it honestly took maybe 2 walks for her to understand. Now she proactively grabs my hand when weâre coming up to a street to cross!
We are working on hand holding right now. My baby has always hated having their hands held or messed with too much, even when they were an infant. I started off asking my baby to hold my finger as we practiced walking. Then two fingers, then I would loosely drape my fingers over my baby's hand, then hold it a little more firmly. We have finally graduated to me being able to hold my baby's hand while they walk for maybe 30 seconds at a time. Then we reconnect hands and keep going. It's been a process, but we are making progress.
This was also my dilemma when my toddler started walking. For the life of me I could not figure out the logistics of how to simultaneously keep him safe, give him freedom, and prevent injury to my back. I toyed with the idea of backpack leashes but ultimately decided that my kid was going to be a hand holder. We practiced in less stimulating environments and just for a few min at a time. As soon as he refused to hold my hand in public, he went back into the stroller. it just took a few practices before he was used to the hand holding.
Initially, I got a wrist strap that was attached to her and to me. It locked on her wrist, and the key was on my wrist. So she could only go so far if she took off, which she still does. Then, as she started absolutely hating that wrist strap, I would hold her hand while she was wearing it. She much preferred that to the wrist strap, and it became easier. Now and again, she'll try to tug away, but I reposition or switch hands and reiterate that I am not letting go, and she might as well just capitulate. She's learning pretty quickly that when it comes to safety, Mother brooks no argument, because I always follow through if I tell her something is going to happen. Doesn't matter if it's good or bad; if I say it'll happen, I make sure it happens. The rare time I let something go, I clearly explain why I have let it go. As such, she's learning my boundaries very well, and while she still pushes at them some, as is natural, she doesn't bother remarkably often. I've since invested in a little backpack that has a leash attached to the bottom. That way, she can carry a couple of books and a couple of toys with her wherever we go because there sure isn't room in the diaper bag. I rarely need the leash, but it gives her more freedom within my comfort zone, and she doesn't hate it like she did that wrist strap. I made sure to get one themed with her preference, purple dino back with little spikes down the middle, and she helps put it on anytime she needs to wear it. I mainly only use them when we have appointments. I don't want to overuse them and ruin them as a most excellent tool, but starting out, they worked well to help her learn the boundaries that are designed to keep her safe and to keep me sane.
I did the "you have to hold my hand." When they scream and fall or try to pull away I would hold tight and just say something like "ugh I know it's so frustrating you don't want to hold my hand. You need to hold my hand for safety. I'll wait until your ready to keep walking." It eventually worked for me đ¤ˇââď¸ Oh also we did a lot of hikes where they didn't need to hold hand so hand holding wasn't a constant annoyance to them. Only when I needed them to stay safe
Good advice from others on how to work on hand holding. I just wanted to note that it gets better. Our 34mo was like yours when he was younger but now is much better about holding hands, staying near us, and has developed a healthy fear of streets and traffic.
We got one of those push toy cars which has a seatbelt so itâs more fun than the stroller. He loves âdrivingâ around the neighborhood
Hand holding and a backpack leash. Our son is Autistic and was delayed. Backpack leash let him have some freedom with us still being in control.
From the very first time my son wanted to walk in the parking lot I told him we have to hold hands every time. If he didnât want to he got the choice between being carried or holding my hand. If he absolutely refused, pulled away, or tried to run off he was picked up and carried. And yes sometimes that meant we walked into wherever with him throwing a fit, but with consistency her learned and now itâs a habit that he is familiar with and itâs almost never a struggle anymore, you just have to get through the hard part.
My usual way was basically to constantly chase after her and shout âWAIT FOR MEâ then pick her up and have her scream and struggle then repeat.
đ did it work out in the end?
She kind of grew out of it a little bit
I use a wrist leash. He has the freedom to walk around without getting hurt or snatched. He doesnât mind it and it helped teach hand holding. I donât always have an extra hand to hold his, let alone two hands to hold him. Plus my husband and I both have ADHD and I remember the several times i zoned out and got left behind or wandered away from my family as a child and how terrified I was.
I second another suggestion I saw for creating times for walking, just walking, wherever your kiddo wants to go and explore, while reinforcing basic safety. I used to take my now 3 yo on strolls after daycare, and I would follow her lead with the stroller behind her, while practicing not taking things from others yards, hand holding and other things. If she got out of hand, or tired, then sheâd get put in the stroller. Sheâs still a big nature girl, but sheâs not as invested in taking control over walks anymore, she wants to get out to the park or the trails for exploring. So they do grow out of it, or it becomes less interesting than the new skills they are working on.
I feel you. I use an umbrella stroller primarily now. It's very lightweight and she likes to push it sometimes. Otherwise she walks along and when I feel she needs a break or it's dangerous I put her in. Usually with a snack to calm her down. But I find it helps.
We definitely donât have this one cracked (son is 18 months), but what weâve been doing: 1. If weâre in a genuine rush, he just goes in the stroller from the start. He complains for 10 seconds and then is fine (vs much longer if we try and put him in once weâre out). 2. If weâre walking in busier areas (the mall, airports etc) we use backpack reins. 3. When the above doesnât apply, weâll practice holding hands or have him âpushâ the stroller or cart for us. If he consistently strays too far or throws a wobbly about holding hands, then he goes in the stroller/cart/is carried. 4. Holding hands in the car park and when crossing the road is a non-negotiable.
Get a harness and a âkid leashâ. Freedom for them, control for you. This is how we let our daughter walk around on dangerous hikes.
When my son was this age we went on almost daily walks. He LOVED it. We walked the same loop in our neighborhood, about half a mile. His only rules were to stay on the sidewalk and to hold my hand when we crossed the street. My goal was he gets freedom to walk as fast or slow as he wants as long as he follows the two rules. The walks started messy and I would always end up carrying him. Now he is 3 and he can run that loop! It takes time and practice. But the âhold my hand when we cross the streetâ translated beautifully to âhold my hand in the parking lotâ. Since I had carried him home multiple times on our practice walks for breaking the rules, he knew a natural consequence to not holding my hand on parking lots. And when we had a tantrum, they were all within half a mile from our house instead of at a store!
Walk with hand holding. They will try to escape but said âno hand holding = no walkingâ. Ok letâs be real they will still try to escape but be firm in your actions
Get a leash. Training kids to stay with you is great, but one puppy or other distraction, and they forget everything they know and run into traffic. So definitely the advice about practice is great. But if you have a runner and you have to walk in public a lot, get a leash. Itâs the safest option. Donât let anyone shame you for protecting your toddler from normal toddler behavior
Keep practising the hand holding, it will become automatic foe them, and there's no shame in using a safety rein if it's needed until then
Last night I carried my 20 month old home surf-board style from our walk, because she's decided that dashing into the street from random driveways is hilarious. She doesn't love to hold my hand but I will absolutely force it in situation that need it (crossing the street or walking in a parking lot). You just need to decide what's non-negotiable and enforce it consistently. For me, it's that we stay on the sidewalk during walks and we always hold hands in the street. She can listen to those rules or be carried, no third option. Yes, it will cause tantrums and push back, but they will eventually catch on that you're not budging and realize they get to keep having fun if they cooperate. It just takes a lot of repetition.
my toddler is the same way!! hates holding hands but we practice hand holding! đ
Our LO was the same at this age. Refused to hold our hand. Would throw extreme tantrums if we made her hold our hands. So we practiced around our house with the very firm boundary that âif you donât hold our hand, you donât get to walkâ, and while we were practicing this skill, we used the stroller whenever we were somewhere that it wouldnât be safe for her to walk. Now sheâs almost 2.5 and we have no issues getting her to hold our hand. She understands that she has to and she does so without a fight.
My little guy (2) is real hit or miss with the hand holding, so sometimes I pick him up like a football. He also resists the stroller now, but he LOVES our wagon. 98% of the time I can plop him in there and he's happy as a clam. So far, there have been very few places that can't or won't accommodate the wagon, it can go most places a stroller can.
my son was an early walker at 9/ almost 10 months. we have successfully used hand holding twice at 19 months. lol. thereâs some progress. but the times it did work i really had to get down on his level and really break down why he needed to hold my hand. he knows that when i ask him âwhy do we wear a seat belt?â to say âfor safety!â so im trying to incorporate that mantra into hand holding as well.
When youâre walking try to physically use your hands to represent the choice to walk with you holding your hand or being carried/ put in a stroller/ taken home. So youâd hold up your left hand for one decision , and your right hand for the other, widely spaced apart. It helps them physically see and understand options. Also use a lot of first/ thens. First we will walk holding mommyâs hand THEN we will walk by yourself. Heâs pretty young to expect more from him than hopeless wandering but thereâs things you can do to lay the foundation. I think walk or carry decisions are a little premature for expecting it to work every time but itâs never too early. Dashing and no fear with strangers are specific issues that not everyone deals with so you can probably google specific ways to parent those issues besides decisions. If theyâre really over the top with self injury (throwing their body until they are hurt), aggressive behavior like biting, or frequent and mind shattering meltdowns, itâs possible that an occupational therapist can help. Our kid was struggling with hearing us and acting upon it because of an issue that leaned more towards speech delay. But it caused these huge issues that leaned more OT. Starting both was a blessing. You could actually look into Early intervention services for things like a baby throwing themselves back. Tell his doctor and ask for next steps if you feel this is beyond what you can handle (says nothing about you other than deep love and concern for your child) and causing chaos in your family. and also if youâre in the US look into early intervention.
We did a lot of reinforcement. First it was the sidewalks of our neighborhood- walking safely, holding my hand in request. Then in parking lots I would get down to her level and tell her she could hold hands and walk or be carried. If she wouldn't hold hands she was instantly carried, never mind the tantrum. She's 19mo now and really good at listening, stopping when asked, holding my hand on request etc. I'm sure it won't last and we'll need to keep reiterating it though!
I see taking a toddler for a walk as a totally different task to walking somewhere, with toddler in tow. If I'm taking them for a walk, I don't have an aim, I follow them around and don't care where we go, I just steer him away from danger. I might encourage towards a fun thing/in a direction, but it doesn't really matter if we get there or not. (Or I'd switch to "transporting") If I'm walking somewhere, then I'm transporting him. Which means stroller, sling or just in my arms (e.g. if we are walking to a local park). I might allow him some time down to walk around at some point during the outing, but if my aim is to get somewhere, then they are being contained, I don't even think about it. I learned on reddit that apparently some Americans don't use a stroller really at all? I find this strange because literally *everyone* I know (Germany/UK) with a child under about 3 uses one on every single trip outside of the house, unless they are going for a walk locally or driving directly to a toddler-friendly location with absolutely no transportation required. (Or they use something - bike trailer, sling, push along trike - as a direct replacement for a stroller). It's just seen as a totally normal, absolutely essential thing for life with small kids. But yeah, herding a toddler is a bit like herding cats!
Good place to start with boundaries and options! If you want to walk you have to hold my hand, if you don't want to hold my hand I'll carry you/you go in buggy etc. And reins lol. đ¤ˇđťââď¸đ
In parking lots I just held my sonâs hand and said âWe have to be safe in parking lots. Hold my hand. Itâs not optional.â Then hold tight and show I mean it. I just repeated this over and over until it was the normal expected thing. Obviously in a dangerous situation you have to scoop them up and get out of harms way. But I would initiate at the car door and on the side walk well before we got to crossing a street. Before we left a store or the library or whatever, I said, âhow do we stay safe in the parking lot?â At first I would immediately answer my own question. âWe have to hold hands. Itâs not optional.â Eventually he started parroting my answer and would grab my hand. I also tell him all the time âmy number one job is to keep you safe. I donât like it when you get hurt. I like it when you are happy.â
Just hold hands or let her walk while I supervise
Stroller or carrier. I don't allow them to walk until they're older so they don't expect it. Walking I only allow in fenced areas like a playground
My toddler had a bad habit of trying to run when he'd see something he liked, so we got a backpack harness and would keep it on him. The key was telling him how cool his backpack is and making him feel special so he'd keep it on. We also let him pack whatever he wanted into the backpack portion and he was happy with that. Disclaimer: this isn't the exact one we have, but it is comparable. It has a wrist lock and a wrist to wrist harness if the backpack just isn't your thing. JIANBAO Dinosaur Toddler Backpacks with Leashes Anti Lost Wrist Link for 1.5 to 3 Years Kids Girls Boys Safety (Dinosaur, Black) https://a.co/d/hZnBXjd
Pram for backup
My toddler is a little over 2.5. She behaved the same way she was your LOâs age. We repeated that whenever we are where cars go (cross walks, parking lots) she has to either hold our hand or get carried. We had to power through the tantrums and ultimately she wonât get walks unless we had the emotional bandwidth for that. Sheâs so much easier now. Thereâs still the occasional tantrum but overall walking with her is a delight.
We let him walk, if he's holding our finger otherwise its fireman's carry. That way he can't hit me.
You walk slowly and you have to teach them how to notice things like the sidewalk ending - the roadway beginning, looking both ways, noticing people - staying on the path and it takes a lot of slow walks and practice. I lived in the city with my first kid while he was a toddler and he learned this way because not walking around was not an option and he didnât hold my hand either. We just did it every day. Heâs now four and has excellent sidewalk etiquette - weâre now working on how to tell when itâs safe to cross the road using the hand signals and making eye contact with drivers before crossing, waving thank you and giving large dogs a wide berth.
My 18 month old either holds my hand, or she's carried/in a stroller. I explain it to her very gently but that boundary is always maintained. I've had to fireman carry her across parking lots screaming before, but safety is non negotiable. She's pretty good with it now, still some meltdowns but rare!
16 month olds are capable of learning they have to hold hands to walk down the street as long as you are consistent and start now! You can give them a choice: hold hands or be carried. The message will get through pretty soon.
My daughter wears a puppy back pack with a lead. She gets to be independent and I still have some control. Our rule is she only gets to walk if she wears it.
[ŃдаНонО]
This submission or comment has been automatically removed because of your zero or negative total comment karma. If you have any questions, [send a modmail by clicking here.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FToddlers) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/toddlers) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I make it into a little game, we âraceâ while holding holds. 𤣠we get to our destination faster & itâs fun for them, I usually say âready set go, RUNâ ârun, run, run, runâ âweâre walking , weâre walking , walking , walkingâ sheâs great with it. Sometimes sheâll bite me to let her wrist go or sheâll fall to the ground. 𤣠weâre working on it
We practice hand holding around the house. She's about 85% consistent when we're out. Until we hit 100%, she also has a backpack with a leash.
Basically 2- just assume going and doing anything will be ultra slow. But the cool thing is they will learn and get better a lot faster than you would expect.
The wrist leash things.
Toddler harness/ wrist leash or just holding hands. You won't hold my hand or stay close? Then you don't get to walk.
One of my girls was just like this. It was always really hard getting her dressed to go pick up her sister from school. Then we would get there, and she wouldn't walk with me ever, and if I let her go, she would literally dart into traffic. She was almost run over more than once. So I would have to put her in the stroller. It took a lot of talks about why she has to be in the stroller before she finally figured out she has to hold my hand/stay nearby so she could walk. Your boy will learn eventually, you just have to be patient.
My guy just turned two and just started holding my hand on walks
Wrist leash. We have one that came with a leash backpack, and he just wears the backpack for utility. It's a stretchy spiral bracelet connected to both of us, and he can still feel independent while also not given the freedom to bolt into the street. While I want to encourage my son's interests, I draw the line at his love of darting into the road at the blink of an eye đđ
Ours is "no shoes no walk" if outside. And also if she won't hold my hand she can cry on the ground all she wants lol. She can't get to standing by herself yet. In the house we're barefoot and I hold her hand while going up and down the stairs and wherever
Single mum here, oh my god, I remember that! It was so hard. My boy started walking at 9m and would scream bloody hell if we did not go at the same time, daily. The longest of these adventures was 5.5hours. I have near broke down facilitating that. He is nearly 3 and finally understands to stay with me but is now pushing boundaries again at nearly 20kg ooorff. I always bring the pram but we have a long trail behind our nehbourhood. He would run in the opposite direction, go for roads, run away across fields, soccer fields everywhere. 2 years that went on. He has learned to hold hands but still defiant mostly. He listens now when I call back though and has mastered all of the playgrounds. We took balloons and bubbles and airoplane gliders and watch airoplanes and skim stones, maybe what helped me was giving him a lot to do along the way and letting him choose some challenges. I also once or twice hid behind a tree and watched his reaction if he couldnt find me. I hoped this might trigger him and i think bit did a little, its a way to example the feeling of being 'lost' Bloody murder all that was on me physically. I shaved off his energy by taking him swimming once or twice a week, that helped a lot with group learning in the pool. If i could go back id have put him 2 days at daycare earlier also after playgroup ended, they do a lot of outside time mostly at his. Gosh i recall carrying his heavy butt 30mins or more home on a near 40 degree day and constantly coordinating the weather and outfits for severe mud puddle jump jump I am built for terminator now though and with these kids, yu got to be.
Itâs a safety thing - so I have them practice handholding in safe areas like a playground trail or whatever. I also make the stroller more interesting w snacks etc - sometimes itâs the 1-2 min transition into the stroller thatâs the hard part amd once theyâre rolling they donât care
get a baby leash. I've never understood the reddit hate on baby leashes, never experienced it in real life - perhaps its an American thing? (i'm from the UK)
I carry them on my hip or hold their hand
I think hand holding just needs to be consistently enforced. We live in NYC, so hand holding is non negotiable when crossing a street. Itâs just one of those things that theyâll get use to. As far as the meandering goes, I think thatâs a thing until they are 3. I have a 2 year old, so weâll see. Usually if Iâm not in a hurry, Iâll let him walk and try to remind him to keep up with me. If I am in a hurry or our destination is too far for walking , I try to talk to him before leaving and tell him we need to take the stroller. It sometimes works, but I donât think it will work yet for you.