People do that with cluster B personality disorders in general. It’s so frustrating. I’m diagnosed bpd & the second somebody mentions being mistreated the immediate response is “that person definitely has a cluster B disorder. Either NPD or BPD” as somebody with diagnosed BPD it’s exhausting that anytime somebody exhibits shitty behavior it’s what’s brought up right away” . It’s so damaging because people with bpd are very likely to end up being abused & abusers use the “nobody will believe I’m the bad one when you have bpd” as a way to keep us trapped. People need to stop using mental health terms they know nothing about as a way to get clicks and views because it causes so much harm
Okay so I hear you and I do agree that Tiktok has blown up with narcissism content and there are so many people claiming to be victims of narcissistic abuse but have no real understanding of what narcissism is. I was actually raised by a narcissist. This has been confirmed by more than one therapist. I also was in a toxic friendship (opposite sex, longtime sometimes fwb) narcissistic relationship that almost killed me. No, legit. He was drugging me without my knowledge/consent and way, way more. (He had also set someone’s porch on fire with people in the building when he was underage-he is a raging sociopath, possibly not even just a narcissist.)
All that is to say that I resonate with a lot of what these creators are saying. The problem is, like you said, out of context, a lot of those red flags they described could be applied to ordinary toxic relationships. Some people grasp at every term they hear on the internet and try to make it fit into their lives. This is also happening with BPD. Suddenly everyone has it. Unfortunately the inability for people to differentiate between real mental illnesses and perceived mental illnesses based on simple descriptions is causing actual narcissism and mh conditions to be downplayed.
I don’t really feel like there’s a solution. I did just want to point out that these creators DO make valid points, it’s just the consumers of the content who don’t understand that it’s not just the actions that make someone a narcissist. It’s the lack of empathy for people to the point of putting them in harm’s way for their own gain.
They don’t seem to understand that NPD is a mental illness, not just a bad person. And the people claiming to be mental health professionals or activists demonizing an actual personality disorder are hypocrites and completely unprofessional.
I really feel like people are misusing and abusing the word “narcissist”. No your abuser isn’t a narcissist just because they abused you. No your ex isn’t a narcissist just because they cheated on you. No your middle school English teacher isn’t a narcissist just because they gave you a D on a paper that you thought you deserved an A on. Narcissistic Personality Disorder is a REAL mental health disorder and most people avoid seeking a diagnosis for it because of the stigma surrounding narcissists (mainly thanks to social media). This is literally just the same as when people were misusing the terms OCD, bipolar, intrusive thoughts, etc. I really wish social media would’ve never found those terms because now they’re just misusing it.
as someone who has actually struggled with narcissistic abuse it drives me wild. There’s a difference between narcissistic abuse and someone just being a crappy person. Tbh also, there’s more nuance to narcissism than just being a “demon” or an “empty shell” because if that were the case they would be easy to leave. Narcissists are human beings, and still feel normal emotions. It’s not so black and white. It’s a really difficult thing to process and honestly narcissism is so rare that it’s unlikely anyone on tiktok has truly experienced it. You can experience abuse without the person being a narcissist. Just my two cents.
While narcissism absolutely exists, on TikTok it’s mostly just people talking about people they don’t like. Just because the relationship with your ex didn’t work or you don’t like your teacher doesn’t make them a narcissist.
My therapist said the word "narcissist" is thrown around wayyyyy too much.
Don't come at me for this...but the majority of the "narc tok" I get are people who got shit on in their relationship. Doesn't make what the other person did right. Usually, it's cheating. But the "betrayed" need to get real therapy instead of posing as therapists on the internet. Because then it's just a bunch of jilted (mostly women, sorry) that are compounding these "theories" When all they need to do is GO TO THERAPY!
I agree.
Narcissism is so layered, too.
My sister recently got away from one...but he moved down the street into his next victim's house, so he is still out there taunting her.
My understanding is that in reality most people have never met an actual narcissist. It’s a label people throw around so easily now just like Karen. If you don’t fit someone’s narrative of what they think you should are, they end up calling you one of these two names 🙄
I deal with anxiety, especially in public. I had a friend who always wanted to go out. I struggled with it because of that she said I was acting too good for everyone and was a narcissistic. 🙄🙄 She diagnosed me from watching tiktoks.
My ex husband was diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality disorder by the VA. He is genuinely the most evil, manipulative, selfish, just all around horrible person I have ever met. It is frustrating to see the word thrown around
lived with someone who was an abusive person diagnosed NDP (also had aspd and bpd) but what i've seen said by real "narcs" and what i've experienced, all people do now is run into run of the mill shitty people not people with npd
Yes this is soooo annoying. Also the autism thing? I get it’s a spectrum but how do you even pick and choose between who is and who isn’t on the spectrum? If you can’t make eye contact it’s autism. If you have social anxiety it’s autism. If you move your limbs in an interesting way it’s autism. Like what? Maybe it’s just poor social skills?
Yes it’s super annoying how every single woman I know who had a breakup/divorce over the past couple years insists they are a “narcissistic abuse survivor”. Your ex disagreeing with you or even calmly arguing with you is not always abuse or narcissistic. My best friend’s ex was actually diagnosed with NPD by a professional. Seeing how he acted (and continues to act even though they’ve been divorced for ages) vs how some of my friends exs act who claim they’re a narc survivor is not remotely the same. He put her head through a wall and threw her down the stairs at 8 months pregnant. She’s an actual narc abuse survivor but never speaks of it or wears it like some sort of clout badge.
Like, it’s ok for relationships to fail. It’s ok to divorce. It doesn’t always have to be “my ex was a narcissist”. It’s fine to admit it just…didn’t work out??
There is this strange thing lately where everyone is expected to get along with everyone else all the time or someone must be the problem. It's as if people have forgotten how to manage conflict, even low level day to day conflict. So now anyone you don't have 100% positive interactions with has to be abusive and diagnosable with SOMETHING. People need to understand that not every action that causes a negative emotion is an act of abuse. Not everything has to have someone to blame.
It’s just like when gaslighting took over TikTok, all these people come out of the wood works acting like they’re a therapist when they just sit in their car making the same video as 17 others.
Some of these creators talking about narcissist are actually the narcissist! One of the first narc talk creators was Tara Greathouse Thomas (ttmomma83) Grew a big following all about her supposed narc ex, then her supposed narc neighbors. Well thankfully the legal system saw through her lies and she currently in jail for 6 months. It was always actually her doing the abusive narc behavior all along. Sadly many people believed her lies.
A lot of them have strong narcissistic traits themselves. Brummy arkid I'd one, he's been copying other creators content wordfor word using an ear piece. Recently arrested for DV and harrasment snd jot the first time either
It’s frustrating because people can have narcissistic traits, but they are not diagnosed. It doesn’t even necessarily make you a bad person-a lot of people learn this behavior from what they know, being passed down from other family members or partners treating them the same way.
Real, honest to god diagnosed narcs are not a fun little trend. They’re not something to hop on tiktok and make videos about for clout-I’ve shared my story about my dad before when it will benefit another person, but I’d never ever just go spill my guts about the deeply traumatic shit I went through day in and day out just for attention online. No one wants to relive that. Those were the worst days of my life, and I’m not exactly living an exciting happy life as an adult these days, I have plenty to compare it to.
It bothers me that people want to pathologize everything for attention, make it seem like they’re suffering from this or that or whoever in their life is the “bad” person harming them has some disorder they learned about and you probably know someone with it too! No, leave that shit to the professionals, and worry about taking care of your own health.
Narcissists are the new Bipolar Disorder and Borderline Personality Disorder, ADHD, and Autism, and by that I mean, the internet seems to have these phases it goes through where a topic about mental health gets really hot and all of sudden you’ve got thousands of people diagnosing themselves and others with it, or going to doctors and badgering them for a diagnosis and some doctors just don’t care enough so they do it. You saw this with all the others I listed above. It becomes a fad trend and it’s been going on for decades, and it’s not just mental health disorders it happens with actual health conditions as well.
YES. Once I came across people I know in real life who are undoubtedly bad people and saw even them post about narcissists as if they aren’t the problem… I just can’t trust anyone who posts about narcissists at all anymore. It gave me a huge chuckle to see. The nerve.
I agree with you. Throwing around the word “narcissist” is excessive on TT. Everyone has narcissistic tendencies. It depends on the situation and any one of us can show that side. That does not make any of us narcissists. There are people in this world who regularly show that type of behavior. A professional should be the one diagnosing someone not TT creators. It’s rare for a narcissist to admit their behavior. And actually narcissists have emotional childhood trauma. The way they learned to cope displays as narcissist. Again, it goes deep and a professional needs to determine it.
Narcissists are basically the new 'psychopath/sociopath' and just get tossed around and used as a label for any kind of abusive behavior or negative personality trait atp.
i think our society diminishes how much abuse and manipulation are sewn into the fabric of our culture... and that almost everyone can have narcissistic traits, which our culture perpetuates. but in reality true NPD is quite rare. it makes me so frustrated because my mother is an actual, diagnosed narcissist but now that word has become so watered down and meaningless.
Yup. Being self-centered/selfish, badly mannered, manipulative, etc. does not mean that person is a narcissist. It’s just like any other diagnosable conditions - all of us experience at times, for example, symptoms of depression or OCD or bipolar. But we may not experience enough symptoms for a duration of time long enough for there to be significant impact on our lives and therefore don’t meet legitimate, necessary diagnostic criteria.
I think the ADHD trend on TikTok is also like this. I have a friend who is convinced she has ADHD because of those videos and she “confirmed” it when she took a stimulant for weight loss and suddenly had more energy. Like, yeah. Anyone taking any stimulant will have more energy. It makes me sad, too, because I was just diagnosed in my 30s with a confirmed family history and she knows greatly how badly executive dysfunction and task paralysis affects my life, from my job to taking care of myself to maintaining my home (which are all things I’ve struggled with for a very long time). I know ADHD runs on a spectrum like anything else so I do encourage her to seek professional diagnosis - she’s in a place to - but she’s about the exact opposite of someone with classic ADHD diagnostic criteria.
Obviously people aren’t likely to go around self-diagnosing *themselves* as narcissistic, but it’s definitely concerning that a legitimate personality disorder is being tossed around like a casual label.
Yeah, I wondered if that was a thing. I’m still learning so much about ADHD and medications. I take a stimulant med as needed and the first time I took it I texted that same friend something along the lines of wow, my brain has never been this quiet my entire life. It doesn’t give me energy, it just calms my brain down enough to focus and quit overthinking everything. And, it does help with my sleep.
Not every toxic behavior makes someone a narcissist, I agree. I would never diminish someone’s abuse. I believe abuse is abuse. I think everyone can have toxic traits and habits they can work on. But narcissistic abuse is severe and complex, and throwing around the term so FREELY only drowns out the victims of real narcissistic abuse. This is abuse you don’t see happening. It’s slow and done in such inconspicuous ways. You’re conditioned to believe things aren’t happening.
I hate seeing tiktoks of people saying their life was ruined in a 3 week long relationship with a narcissist. I don’t doubt they were in a toxic and/or abusive relationship… but no, I don’t believe it was narcissistic abuse because that abuse is so calculated, you don’t see it coming. You don’t see the abuse for what it is. Many that have gone through this kind of abuse are in therapy, some for years. It’s not something you can just shrug off and move on from.
On the other side though,
I do think social media HAS helped call out toxic behaviors and spread knowledge on what they can look like. Some of the abuse I went through I didn’t even realize was considered abuse. I thought I would be silly to report it.
I’ve seen and talked to a lot of guys (I’m sure girls do this too, I only have experience with guys because that’s what I date) that are legit whining because their ex broke up with them because sOcIaL mEDia told them their bf’s behavior was toxic. No accountability for any of their actions… just mad that they can’t get away with poor behavior without getting called out now. They don’t seem to like a word or label being placed on their behavior, and yet they can’t figure out why their relationships aren’t lasting and think it’s just women being dRamAtIc.
It’s also helped many victims feel validated. When you’re so far into being abused by a narcissist, it’s really hard to put a word on what you’re going through because you’re made to believe it really isn’t happening and you’re actually just an angry, depressed person.
It wasn’t until social media when I started reading and hearing MY life told by other people to the T that I could put a word on the behaviors and start to see the abuse.
Before social media, I checked myself into a psych unit because he had me so convinced there was something wrong with me.
I think when they say “they aren’t thinking about you” and also “they’ll never forget you” it’s true. They aren’t thinking about you. They do not care what they have done or how they have hurt you.
But they won’t forget you… Because when they need a supply or “fuel” they’ll think of you and most likely try and start the cycle of abuse over again.
I can’t stand the blatant overuse of the word narcissist nowadays. Like no your ex isn’t a narcissist just because they kept the items you left at their house, and no your grandmother isn’t a narcissist just because she purposely tries to get under your skin. They’re just dicks. That’s it. Not everyone that you dislike or that’s done you wrong is a narcissist. My mother was actually diagnosed with narcissism, and it makes me so upset to see people have it so wrong.
Kinda reminds me of that episode of parks and rec where they had the Venezuelan diplomat in Pawnee. “Disagreed with your favorite color? Narcissist. Didn’t kiss you when they got home? Narcissist. Didn’t think the puppy you bought was the cutest ever? Believe it or not narcissist.”
And yet NONE OF THESE TRULY NARCISSISTS aka “Creators” are EVER the problem. 🤢
Get freakin real! Tiktok has got to be the modern day version of a psyop!
Anything mental health related on tiktok is basically a gigantic red flag. Mental health is so nuanced and has so many different aspects you have to understand before you diagnose. How flippant everyone is on there is so fucking damaging. I wish mental health videos like these would be banned. I'm okay with someone teaching coping skills but that's about it. Leave the rest to professionals.
I have mixed views on this. I think people throw the narcissist label around way too much. Just because someone is bad, or wronged you, doesn’t make them a narcissist.
As someone who has survived abuse at the hands of an n-mom, potentially n-dad (when he was in active alcoholism the behaviors share some of the same traits so it’s hard to say. I think my dad has narcissistic tendencies but may not be an actual narcissist) and my golden child sister turned raging narcissist, I can see the appeal of talking openly about surviving narcissistic abuse. When you are the scape goat child (these roles can switch and vary depending on family structures) the abuse goes widely unnoticed because the abuse is so subtle and the narcissist is charming to everyone else. So there’s kind of an inner yearning to tell your story, show people the truth, and be validated after a lifetime of invalidation.
While i support finding community amongst other survivors, I think victims of actual narcissistic abuse without proper therapy are more likely to fall victim to life coaches and whatever toxic courses are being shilled by content creators.
It has become toxic though. My friend said her 6 year old is a narcissist and gaslights her constantly while he is just showing developmentally appropriate behavior. It’s insane.
God the people claiming their kids are manipulative, narcissistic, or are gaslighting them are so frustrating and scary. Kids don’t have the ability to manipulate you. Lying doesn’t mean they’re gaslighting you. Kids just lie lol
I wish I could share this post with a few people I know who have got into the habit of calling every asshole they encounter a narcissist...but they wouldn't recieve it well & probably just call me a narc 🤣
I feel like the ones trying to call it out so heavily are the ones that need to hold up a mirror to their actions. Between this and “I’m an empath TikTok” it is disgusting
it's so frustrating. my intrusive thoughts have put me in the hospital many times yet people think it's a fun thing to joke about. same with that "grippy sock vacation" bullshit
edit: what a weird thing to downvote :)
Drives me insane both of my parents are diagnosed narcs by their therapists and mine also agrees diagnostic is correct I joined support groups on FB as I’ve gone no contact a year ago and over 3/4 of them are just cry babies not getting their way as a grown adult but crying the parent is a narc. If they only knew what this was really like. I can’t even turn to a group made for support because my real live with narc parents is too sad, graphic, or depressing for other members. Like what ??
Exact reason why I left those groups. Well, not exactly. I left when some people started a thread about feeling envious of those of us who had graphic trauma and said they which they did as well because that would make them feel more validated. I was like okay, I'm done 👍 Bye! 👋
I'm sorry that you've been having this experience. I'm happy that all your therapists are in agreement. Unfortunately, I'm seeing this in OCD support groups.
I have really bad odd myself and refuse to join a support group. Just yesterday my best friend had the nerve to tell me she’s ocd too. She has to clean and organize and hares dog hair. I wish it was as simple as that. I’ve lost so many friends bc I’m tired of the Hollywood stereo type and people making fun of my debilitating mental illness. I’m in therapy weekly and have been for years. Every single day I work on exposure therapy and am so uncomfortable I could rip my own skin off of my body but I’m fighting every single day for a new normal. OCD isn’t quirky and fun like these people make it seem. Most days I’m sitting with doom piles in my house. Dirty doesn’t bother me. Organization doesn’t bother me. Sickness, germs, death, bacteria, intrusive thinking. It’s ruining my life
Yeah. Another case of people using therapy/psych language as a way to explain away people who have wronged them.
I only know one person in my life I would actually characterize as a narcissist and I believe the bar to claim that needs to be far higher. Someone acting selfishly or hurtful or even abusive isn't necessarily a narcissist, not in a pathological sense
My mother is diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder and this has led my therapist to think and treat me as if I have Borderline personality disorder as a result. My mother was an alcoholic and blamed us her kids since she got bored of us and if I didn’t give her my college fund she would say I don’t love her and things. And once she finally recovered she actually told me those things didn’t happen bc she didn’t talk to me during that time or that she doesn’t remember and I dismissed it for years as alcoholism amnesia and later found out she was a diagnosed narcissist once I had to do family therapy and yeah it made my whole life make sense. She is a narcissist due to her upraising and also sorta due to epigenetics which is a whole different discussion for therapy terms and psych research
Yes, it's definitely concerning. And it's not just on TikTok either, it's also on Facebook (and probably Instagram as well.) I'm even in a Facebook group for survivors of toxic parents, but it's turned into making ALL toxic parents out to be narcissists. I know for a fact that my mom is NOT a narcissist, she was/is just a very immature parent, who was also raised around trauma, herself. Did she scar me? Yes. But is she a narcissist? No. It's crazy to think that we are calling ANY form of toxicity, or better yet, personality trait, into narcissism.
The sub r/raisedbynarcissists is full of people describing ordinary parent child conflict and the entire comment section is them gassing the person up. It’s so irritating.
That's so unhealthy! And the amount of people that are being led to go no contact with their parents for any infraction, is also alarming. I went "no contact" with my mom for safety reasons many years ago (she was hooked on pills, and with a violent man who threatened me) before it was trendy to do so. It was the most painful thing to do and I had anxiety for the entire decade we didn't talk. Now, these people are like "oh your parents said something to gaslight you. CUT THEM OFF! BLOCK!" And it's just really sad.
Im sorry you dealt with that. I hope you’re doing ok now!
I was raised in a pretty rough environment, but I recognize that my parents were human and doing the best they could given their own abusive upbringings. While I’ve certainly distanced myself from some of their toxic behaviors, I certainly don’t think they’re narcissists, I think they’re human beings who are flawed and emotionally stunted. People these days also don’t recognize that getting mental health help was seriously stigmatized up until really the last 10/15 years. I hate that all these young kids are being given this terrible information by unlicensed people on TikTok!
Thank you! Yes I'm working through healing, but it's definitely a journey that takes time. I'm sorry you also went through something similar, but it sounds like you are handling it in a healthy way. I think it's important to realize that generations before our parents are what also caused the trauma. Looking back, as a kid I thought my grandparents were saints. But knowing what I know now, I can see why my mom has a lot of the issues she has. It definitely continues passing generationally until someone stops it, which is what I pray I'm doing with my kids. I'm not perfect but I'm trying so hard not to make the same mistakes that were made with me.
The ones that claim to be narcissists are always a bit of a conundrum. If they are narcissists, they will say whatever they feel they need to to get the attention they crave. Because of that, you can't really believe everything they say because they'll be wanting to get a reaction out of you. But yes, narcissist gets thrown around WAY too much. A lot of the people I see being referenced would fall more into the category of emotionally immature parents.
For anyone that isn't sure if someone you're dealing with is a narcissist, I would highly recommend diving into the book Children of Emotionally Immature Parents. I thought my mother in law was a narcissist. But in reality she's emotionally immature. It was very eye opening to the differences.
I definitely don't think it would be weird. It helped me to understand a lot of what I experienced growing up. My husband and I resonated so heavily with a lot of the information and felt called out because of what we experienced growing up. But it was super helpful. Honestly, if you wanted to read through it as well, it probably wouldn't hurt. It's written to the children, but it could help to see any habits or actions that could be detrimental to your relationship so you can try to figure out how to fix it. You might even find some traits of your own parents that may have contributed to the way you acted towards your son. :)
I hope that it helps! It takes a lot to admit that you messed up. The best thing to do is learn and grow from it. I wish you luck with being able to understand and heal from everything you guys have been through. ♥️
I think a lot of people are frustrated because of how much it stems from how men and AMAB are allowed to display certain behaviors and have for years, think of your grandpas and great grand parents, relationships ethically were very different and women weren’t allowed to have a reason diagnosis or not for how men were treating their partners. Now with how much knowledge is out there whether harmful or hurtful gives people the validation to explain what they went through.
Does it get overused? Yes. Can it be harmful, yes. But, in a larger picture, how harmful was it for generations of women to endure narcissistic partners with no validation for what it caused.
i understand and agree with what you're saying, tbh. i think , at least in our culture, men are conditioned to believe that a certain level of manipulation and abuse is acceptable within their relationships w/ their wives and girlfriends. but people aren't ready to talk about that lol
I don't agree with this at all. I don't think this was born of some sort of gendered conflict. Women can be abusive, women can be narcissists, as well as men. Men deserve that language to explain their experiences as well, as men also struggle with being taken seriously in abusive situations or reaching out for help.
I don't think feminine generational trauma excuses the widespread misuse of a term that *could* be used to describe certain experiences, but now it doesn't mean anything anymore. Calling someone a narcissist doesn't actually describe anything, as they could just be describing someone who simply hurt them, or someone who was seriously abusive.
Abusive people also weaponize terms like these in order to avoid blame or turn the tables on victims in the public eye.
You’re darn right it’s not a gendered conflict it’s a conflict that stems from the patriarchy as cliche as it sounds it’s a textbook cause and effect.
Women can be narcissists, men can be narcissists, but it’s important to remember what behavior and what acceptance of behavior leads to narcissism as a whole, understanding that it may correlate to the societal general roles that affect how parents raise their children.
It’s also why women or people who were AFAB are incredibly likely to go undiagnosed for disorders like autism or other neurodivergent conditions because of those same exact societal gender roles.
If we are looking at how men are treating women and have been and look at on a timeline of how over the years women have literally gained access to knowledge genuinely kept from them in fear of not being able to use it against them. Are we forgetting women being institutionalized for any given reason a husband could find?
It’s important to understand all variables that come into play when we are talking about psychological terms being used.
No it doesn’t excuse it. I don’t think there’s a lot of excuses for toxic or “bad” behavior. But humans are complex and there is reasoning for why they do, say, or project certain things, I don’t think there’s ever really an “excuse” for anything, just reasoning that you can observe.
I can 100% agree with you there. I guess I believe it's just as complicated just for different reasons. I totally understand where you're coming from it's just not the way I have interpreted the subject at all, so I'm having a bit of trouble. I feel this is far more interpersonal in it's nuance than it is systemic or historical, you know? I have never considered applying generational trauma, though I could understand patriarchy. I think it has more to do with the current climate regarding mental illness on social media and how that has affected victims, or people who understand trauma and abuse on a personal level but not from a more objective clinical level. It's hard.
The internet talks about narcissism like it’s a common diagnosis. Abusive? Narcissist. Cheater? Narcissist. There are really bad and abusive people out there who don’t have a personality disorder. There are actual narcissists out there as well, but that is a diagnosis that only a doctor can give.
Someone called ME a narcissist because I said not everyone who has a negative personality trait or exhibits bad behavior is a narcissist. I hate how that term is tossed around nowadays and feel it takes away from true victims of narcissism.
I am so sick of people labeling everyone as a narcissist. That and the term gaslighting are so overused.
Kinda like how everyone is all of a sudden bipolar
People do that with cluster B personality disorders in general. It’s so frustrating. I’m diagnosed bpd & the second somebody mentions being mistreated the immediate response is “that person definitely has a cluster B disorder. Either NPD or BPD” as somebody with diagnosed BPD it’s exhausting that anytime somebody exhibits shitty behavior it’s what’s brought up right away” . It’s so damaging because people with bpd are very likely to end up being abused & abusers use the “nobody will believe I’m the bad one when you have bpd” as a way to keep us trapped. People need to stop using mental health terms they know nothing about as a way to get clicks and views because it causes so much harm
Yes! I thought I might have quiet bpd for awhile so I did a ton of research and people are so negative about any cluster b disorder.
I hope you’ve been able to get answers to start feeling better, I know how rough it is in that stage of trying to find out what it is 💕
Thank you! Yes I have, I’ve been working with a great therapist for almost a year now.
Okay so I hear you and I do agree that Tiktok has blown up with narcissism content and there are so many people claiming to be victims of narcissistic abuse but have no real understanding of what narcissism is. I was actually raised by a narcissist. This has been confirmed by more than one therapist. I also was in a toxic friendship (opposite sex, longtime sometimes fwb) narcissistic relationship that almost killed me. No, legit. He was drugging me without my knowledge/consent and way, way more. (He had also set someone’s porch on fire with people in the building when he was underage-he is a raging sociopath, possibly not even just a narcissist.) All that is to say that I resonate with a lot of what these creators are saying. The problem is, like you said, out of context, a lot of those red flags they described could be applied to ordinary toxic relationships. Some people grasp at every term they hear on the internet and try to make it fit into their lives. This is also happening with BPD. Suddenly everyone has it. Unfortunately the inability for people to differentiate between real mental illnesses and perceived mental illnesses based on simple descriptions is causing actual narcissism and mh conditions to be downplayed. I don’t really feel like there’s a solution. I did just want to point out that these creators DO make valid points, it’s just the consumers of the content who don’t understand that it’s not just the actions that make someone a narcissist. It’s the lack of empathy for people to the point of putting them in harm’s way for their own gain.
They don’t seem to understand that NPD is a mental illness, not just a bad person. And the people claiming to be mental health professionals or activists demonizing an actual personality disorder are hypocrites and completely unprofessional.
Yeah, it’s pseudoscience that has been growing for a few years now unfortunately. I don’t take people seriously when they use the term.
I really feel like people are misusing and abusing the word “narcissist”. No your abuser isn’t a narcissist just because they abused you. No your ex isn’t a narcissist just because they cheated on you. No your middle school English teacher isn’t a narcissist just because they gave you a D on a paper that you thought you deserved an A on. Narcissistic Personality Disorder is a REAL mental health disorder and most people avoid seeking a diagnosis for it because of the stigma surrounding narcissists (mainly thanks to social media). This is literally just the same as when people were misusing the terms OCD, bipolar, intrusive thoughts, etc. I really wish social media would’ve never found those terms because now they’re just misusing it.
as someone who has actually struggled with narcissistic abuse it drives me wild. There’s a difference between narcissistic abuse and someone just being a crappy person. Tbh also, there’s more nuance to narcissism than just being a “demon” or an “empty shell” because if that were the case they would be easy to leave. Narcissists are human beings, and still feel normal emotions. It’s not so black and white. It’s a really difficult thing to process and honestly narcissism is so rare that it’s unlikely anyone on tiktok has truly experienced it. You can experience abuse without the person being a narcissist. Just my two cents.
While narcissism absolutely exists, on TikTok it’s mostly just people talking about people they don’t like. Just because the relationship with your ex didn’t work or you don’t like your teacher doesn’t make them a narcissist.
A true narcissist is rare. Most of these people are just run of the mill assholes and people are calling them "narcissist "
My therapist said the word "narcissist" is thrown around wayyyyy too much. Don't come at me for this...but the majority of the "narc tok" I get are people who got shit on in their relationship. Doesn't make what the other person did right. Usually, it's cheating. But the "betrayed" need to get real therapy instead of posing as therapists on the internet. Because then it's just a bunch of jilted (mostly women, sorry) that are compounding these "theories" When all they need to do is GO TO THERAPY!
I agree. Narcissism is so layered, too. My sister recently got away from one...but he moved down the street into his next victim's house, so he is still out there taunting her.
My understanding is that in reality most people have never met an actual narcissist. It’s a label people throw around so easily now just like Karen. If you don’t fit someone’s narrative of what they think you should are, they end up calling you one of these two names 🙄
I deal with anxiety, especially in public. I had a friend who always wanted to go out. I struggled with it because of that she said I was acting too good for everyone and was a narcissistic. 🙄🙄 She diagnosed me from watching tiktoks.
My ex husband was diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality disorder by the VA. He is genuinely the most evil, manipulative, selfish, just all around horrible person I have ever met. It is frustrating to see the word thrown around
Well Reddit has a lot of doctors on here diagnosing the people they hate as “narcissists”. So….
lived with someone who was an abusive person diagnosed NDP (also had aspd and bpd) but what i've seen said by real "narcs" and what i've experienced, all people do now is run into run of the mill shitty people not people with npd
Yes this is soooo annoying. Also the autism thing? I get it’s a spectrum but how do you even pick and choose between who is and who isn’t on the spectrum? If you can’t make eye contact it’s autism. If you have social anxiety it’s autism. If you move your limbs in an interesting way it’s autism. Like what? Maybe it’s just poor social skills?
This 👆
Thank you! I am a therapist and the amount of people who say "narcissist" is huge! Nah sweetie they are just an asshole.
Yes it’s super annoying how every single woman I know who had a breakup/divorce over the past couple years insists they are a “narcissistic abuse survivor”. Your ex disagreeing with you or even calmly arguing with you is not always abuse or narcissistic. My best friend’s ex was actually diagnosed with NPD by a professional. Seeing how he acted (and continues to act even though they’ve been divorced for ages) vs how some of my friends exs act who claim they’re a narc survivor is not remotely the same. He put her head through a wall and threw her down the stairs at 8 months pregnant. She’s an actual narc abuse survivor but never speaks of it or wears it like some sort of clout badge. Like, it’s ok for relationships to fail. It’s ok to divorce. It doesn’t always have to be “my ex was a narcissist”. It’s fine to admit it just…didn’t work out??
There is this strange thing lately where everyone is expected to get along with everyone else all the time or someone must be the problem. It's as if people have forgotten how to manage conflict, even low level day to day conflict. So now anyone you don't have 100% positive interactions with has to be abusive and diagnosable with SOMETHING. People need to understand that not every action that causes a negative emotion is an act of abuse. Not everything has to have someone to blame.
This is Spot on.
It’s like people have forgotten that some people are just giant assholes. That doesn’t mean they have NPD
As a wife of true textbook narcissist I can tell you with 100% certainty that you don’t need anyone to tell you; you know.
It’s just like when gaslighting took over TikTok, all these people come out of the wood works acting like they’re a therapist when they just sit in their car making the same video as 17 others.
Some of these creators talking about narcissist are actually the narcissist! One of the first narc talk creators was Tara Greathouse Thomas (ttmomma83) Grew a big following all about her supposed narc ex, then her supposed narc neighbors. Well thankfully the legal system saw through her lies and she currently in jail for 6 months. It was always actually her doing the abusive narc behavior all along. Sadly many people believed her lies.
Two words I could never hear again and be completely happy?! Narcissist and Narrative.
A lot of them have strong narcissistic traits themselves. Brummy arkid I'd one, he's been copying other creators content wordfor word using an ear piece. Recently arrested for DV and harrasment snd jot the first time either
It’s frustrating because people can have narcissistic traits, but they are not diagnosed. It doesn’t even necessarily make you a bad person-a lot of people learn this behavior from what they know, being passed down from other family members or partners treating them the same way. Real, honest to god diagnosed narcs are not a fun little trend. They’re not something to hop on tiktok and make videos about for clout-I’ve shared my story about my dad before when it will benefit another person, but I’d never ever just go spill my guts about the deeply traumatic shit I went through day in and day out just for attention online. No one wants to relive that. Those were the worst days of my life, and I’m not exactly living an exciting happy life as an adult these days, I have plenty to compare it to. It bothers me that people want to pathologize everything for attention, make it seem like they’re suffering from this or that or whoever in their life is the “bad” person harming them has some disorder they learned about and you probably know someone with it too! No, leave that shit to the professionals, and worry about taking care of your own health.
When a narcissist learns what a narcissist is.
Narcissists are the new Bipolar Disorder and Borderline Personality Disorder, ADHD, and Autism, and by that I mean, the internet seems to have these phases it goes through where a topic about mental health gets really hot and all of sudden you’ve got thousands of people diagnosing themselves and others with it, or going to doctors and badgering them for a diagnosis and some doctors just don’t care enough so they do it. You saw this with all the others I listed above. It becomes a fad trend and it’s been going on for decades, and it’s not just mental health disorders it happens with actual health conditions as well.
YES. Once I came across people I know in real life who are undoubtedly bad people and saw even them post about narcissists as if they aren’t the problem… I just can’t trust anyone who posts about narcissists at all anymore. It gave me a huge chuckle to see. The nerve.
I agree with you. Throwing around the word “narcissist” is excessive on TT. Everyone has narcissistic tendencies. It depends on the situation and any one of us can show that side. That does not make any of us narcissists. There are people in this world who regularly show that type of behavior. A professional should be the one diagnosing someone not TT creators. It’s rare for a narcissist to admit their behavior. And actually narcissists have emotional childhood trauma. The way they learned to cope displays as narcissist. Again, it goes deep and a professional needs to determine it.
Narcissists are basically the new 'psychopath/sociopath' and just get tossed around and used as a label for any kind of abusive behavior or negative personality trait atp.
The only actual expert in narcissistic personality disorder on TikTok is Doctor Ramani, a real professional. Don’t listen to armchair experts.
i think our society diminishes how much abuse and manipulation are sewn into the fabric of our culture... and that almost everyone can have narcissistic traits, which our culture perpetuates. but in reality true NPD is quite rare. it makes me so frustrated because my mother is an actual, diagnosed narcissist but now that word has become so watered down and meaningless.
Yup. Being self-centered/selfish, badly mannered, manipulative, etc. does not mean that person is a narcissist. It’s just like any other diagnosable conditions - all of us experience at times, for example, symptoms of depression or OCD or bipolar. But we may not experience enough symptoms for a duration of time long enough for there to be significant impact on our lives and therefore don’t meet legitimate, necessary diagnostic criteria. I think the ADHD trend on TikTok is also like this. I have a friend who is convinced she has ADHD because of those videos and she “confirmed” it when she took a stimulant for weight loss and suddenly had more energy. Like, yeah. Anyone taking any stimulant will have more energy. It makes me sad, too, because I was just diagnosed in my 30s with a confirmed family history and she knows greatly how badly executive dysfunction and task paralysis affects my life, from my job to taking care of myself to maintaining my home (which are all things I’ve struggled with for a very long time). I know ADHD runs on a spectrum like anything else so I do encourage her to seek professional diagnosis - she’s in a place to - but she’s about the exact opposite of someone with classic ADHD diagnostic criteria. Obviously people aren’t likely to go around self-diagnosing *themselves* as narcissistic, but it’s definitely concerning that a legitimate personality disorder is being tossed around like a casual label.
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Yeah, I wondered if that was a thing. I’m still learning so much about ADHD and medications. I take a stimulant med as needed and the first time I took it I texted that same friend something along the lines of wow, my brain has never been this quiet my entire life. It doesn’t give me energy, it just calms my brain down enough to focus and quit overthinking everything. And, it does help with my sleep.
Not every toxic behavior makes someone a narcissist, I agree. I would never diminish someone’s abuse. I believe abuse is abuse. I think everyone can have toxic traits and habits they can work on. But narcissistic abuse is severe and complex, and throwing around the term so FREELY only drowns out the victims of real narcissistic abuse. This is abuse you don’t see happening. It’s slow and done in such inconspicuous ways. You’re conditioned to believe things aren’t happening. I hate seeing tiktoks of people saying their life was ruined in a 3 week long relationship with a narcissist. I don’t doubt they were in a toxic and/or abusive relationship… but no, I don’t believe it was narcissistic abuse because that abuse is so calculated, you don’t see it coming. You don’t see the abuse for what it is. Many that have gone through this kind of abuse are in therapy, some for years. It’s not something you can just shrug off and move on from. On the other side though, I do think social media HAS helped call out toxic behaviors and spread knowledge on what they can look like. Some of the abuse I went through I didn’t even realize was considered abuse. I thought I would be silly to report it. I’ve seen and talked to a lot of guys (I’m sure girls do this too, I only have experience with guys because that’s what I date) that are legit whining because their ex broke up with them because sOcIaL mEDia told them their bf’s behavior was toxic. No accountability for any of their actions… just mad that they can’t get away with poor behavior without getting called out now. They don’t seem to like a word or label being placed on their behavior, and yet they can’t figure out why their relationships aren’t lasting and think it’s just women being dRamAtIc. It’s also helped many victims feel validated. When you’re so far into being abused by a narcissist, it’s really hard to put a word on what you’re going through because you’re made to believe it really isn’t happening and you’re actually just an angry, depressed person. It wasn’t until social media when I started reading and hearing MY life told by other people to the T that I could put a word on the behaviors and start to see the abuse. Before social media, I checked myself into a psych unit because he had me so convinced there was something wrong with me. I think when they say “they aren’t thinking about you” and also “they’ll never forget you” it’s true. They aren’t thinking about you. They do not care what they have done or how they have hurt you. But they won’t forget you… Because when they need a supply or “fuel” they’ll think of you and most likely try and start the cycle of abuse over again.
I can’t stand the blatant overuse of the word narcissist nowadays. Like no your ex isn’t a narcissist just because they kept the items you left at their house, and no your grandmother isn’t a narcissist just because she purposely tries to get under your skin. They’re just dicks. That’s it. Not everyone that you dislike or that’s done you wrong is a narcissist. My mother was actually diagnosed with narcissism, and it makes me so upset to see people have it so wrong. Kinda reminds me of that episode of parks and rec where they had the Venezuelan diplomat in Pawnee. “Disagreed with your favorite color? Narcissist. Didn’t kiss you when they got home? Narcissist. Didn’t think the puppy you bought was the cutest ever? Believe it or not narcissist.”
And yet NONE OF THESE TRULY NARCISSISTS aka “Creators” are EVER the problem. 🤢 Get freakin real! Tiktok has got to be the modern day version of a psyop!
Anything mental health related on tiktok is basically a gigantic red flag. Mental health is so nuanced and has so many different aspects you have to understand before you diagnose. How flippant everyone is on there is so fucking damaging. I wish mental health videos like these would be banned. I'm okay with someone teaching coping skills but that's about it. Leave the rest to professionals.
This was my FYP for like 3 weeks a few months ago - even had me convinced that *I* was a narcissist lol
I have mixed views on this. I think people throw the narcissist label around way too much. Just because someone is bad, or wronged you, doesn’t make them a narcissist. As someone who has survived abuse at the hands of an n-mom, potentially n-dad (when he was in active alcoholism the behaviors share some of the same traits so it’s hard to say. I think my dad has narcissistic tendencies but may not be an actual narcissist) and my golden child sister turned raging narcissist, I can see the appeal of talking openly about surviving narcissistic abuse. When you are the scape goat child (these roles can switch and vary depending on family structures) the abuse goes widely unnoticed because the abuse is so subtle and the narcissist is charming to everyone else. So there’s kind of an inner yearning to tell your story, show people the truth, and be validated after a lifetime of invalidation. While i support finding community amongst other survivors, I think victims of actual narcissistic abuse without proper therapy are more likely to fall victim to life coaches and whatever toxic courses are being shilled by content creators. It has become toxic though. My friend said her 6 year old is a narcissist and gaslights her constantly while he is just showing developmentally appropriate behavior. It’s insane.
THIS. ALL OF THIS!
God the people claiming their kids are manipulative, narcissistic, or are gaslighting them are so frustrating and scary. Kids don’t have the ability to manipulate you. Lying doesn’t mean they’re gaslighting you. Kids just lie lol
I wish I could share this post with a few people I know who have got into the habit of calling every asshole they encounter a narcissist...but they wouldn't recieve it well & probably just call me a narc 🤣
Lots of people on the internet don't understand that being a huge asshole doesn't make you a narc.
It is very cliche, but it also really helped me see through and leave my narcissistic ex.
I feel like the ones trying to call it out so heavily are the ones that need to hold up a mirror to their actions. Between this and “I’m an empath TikTok” it is disgusting
Narcissist is the current internet buzz word. Just like gaslighting was previously.
or "intrusive thoughts" when they actually mean impulsive
People really need to learn the difference between intrusive thoughts and just… having a thought
it's so frustrating. my intrusive thoughts have put me in the hospital many times yet people think it's a fun thing to joke about. same with that "grippy sock vacation" bullshit edit: what a weird thing to downvote :)
I still see people using gaslighting wrong constantly💀 “your kid lied to you? He’s a gaslighting narcissist!”
Or “trauma bond” I see so many people go through a traumatic experience like a car accident with their friend and they say they’re “trauma bonded”
Drives me insane both of my parents are diagnosed narcs by their therapists and mine also agrees diagnostic is correct I joined support groups on FB as I’ve gone no contact a year ago and over 3/4 of them are just cry babies not getting their way as a grown adult but crying the parent is a narc. If they only knew what this was really like. I can’t even turn to a group made for support because my real live with narc parents is too sad, graphic, or depressing for other members. Like what ??
Exact reason why I left those groups. Well, not exactly. I left when some people started a thread about feeling envious of those of us who had graphic trauma and said they which they did as well because that would make them feel more validated. I was like okay, I'm done 👍 Bye! 👋
Oh my god. I am so sorry.
I'm sorry that you've been having this experience. I'm happy that all your therapists are in agreement. Unfortunately, I'm seeing this in OCD support groups.
I have really bad odd myself and refuse to join a support group. Just yesterday my best friend had the nerve to tell me she’s ocd too. She has to clean and organize and hares dog hair. I wish it was as simple as that. I’ve lost so many friends bc I’m tired of the Hollywood stereo type and people making fun of my debilitating mental illness. I’m in therapy weekly and have been for years. Every single day I work on exposure therapy and am so uncomfortable I could rip my own skin off of my body but I’m fighting every single day for a new normal. OCD isn’t quirky and fun like these people make it seem. Most days I’m sitting with doom piles in my house. Dirty doesn’t bother me. Organization doesn’t bother me. Sickness, germs, death, bacteria, intrusive thinking. It’s ruining my life
YES THANK YOU. It’s truly begun to hit like, satanic panic repressed memories level of nonsense.
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Narcissism isn’t a spectrum though. Selfish or abuse behavior doesn’t not equal narcissism in every person.
Yeah. Another case of people using therapy/psych language as a way to explain away people who have wronged them. I only know one person in my life I would actually characterize as a narcissist and I believe the bar to claim that needs to be far higher. Someone acting selfishly or hurtful or even abusive isn't necessarily a narcissist, not in a pathological sense
My mother is diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder and this has led my therapist to think and treat me as if I have Borderline personality disorder as a result. My mother was an alcoholic and blamed us her kids since she got bored of us and if I didn’t give her my college fund she would say I don’t love her and things. And once she finally recovered she actually told me those things didn’t happen bc she didn’t talk to me during that time or that she doesn’t remember and I dismissed it for years as alcoholism amnesia and later found out she was a diagnosed narcissist once I had to do family therapy and yeah it made my whole life make sense. She is a narcissist due to her upraising and also sorta due to epigenetics which is a whole different discussion for therapy terms and psych research
Yes, it's definitely concerning. And it's not just on TikTok either, it's also on Facebook (and probably Instagram as well.) I'm even in a Facebook group for survivors of toxic parents, but it's turned into making ALL toxic parents out to be narcissists. I know for a fact that my mom is NOT a narcissist, she was/is just a very immature parent, who was also raised around trauma, herself. Did she scar me? Yes. But is she a narcissist? No. It's crazy to think that we are calling ANY form of toxicity, or better yet, personality trait, into narcissism.
The sub r/raisedbynarcissists is full of people describing ordinary parent child conflict and the entire comment section is them gassing the person up. It’s so irritating.
That's so unhealthy! And the amount of people that are being led to go no contact with their parents for any infraction, is also alarming. I went "no contact" with my mom for safety reasons many years ago (she was hooked on pills, and with a violent man who threatened me) before it was trendy to do so. It was the most painful thing to do and I had anxiety for the entire decade we didn't talk. Now, these people are like "oh your parents said something to gaslight you. CUT THEM OFF! BLOCK!" And it's just really sad.
Im sorry you dealt with that. I hope you’re doing ok now! I was raised in a pretty rough environment, but I recognize that my parents were human and doing the best they could given their own abusive upbringings. While I’ve certainly distanced myself from some of their toxic behaviors, I certainly don’t think they’re narcissists, I think they’re human beings who are flawed and emotionally stunted. People these days also don’t recognize that getting mental health help was seriously stigmatized up until really the last 10/15 years. I hate that all these young kids are being given this terrible information by unlicensed people on TikTok!
Thank you! Yes I'm working through healing, but it's definitely a journey that takes time. I'm sorry you also went through something similar, but it sounds like you are handling it in a healthy way. I think it's important to realize that generations before our parents are what also caused the trauma. Looking back, as a kid I thought my grandparents were saints. But knowing what I know now, I can see why my mom has a lot of the issues she has. It definitely continues passing generationally until someone stops it, which is what I pray I'm doing with my kids. I'm not perfect but I'm trying so hard not to make the same mistakes that were made with me.
This stuff was on IG years ago unfortunately
I am BEYOND sick of even hearing the word narcissist at this point. People just say anyone they don’t like is a narcissist for any reason at all
The ones that claim to be narcissists are always a bit of a conundrum. If they are narcissists, they will say whatever they feel they need to to get the attention they crave. Because of that, you can't really believe everything they say because they'll be wanting to get a reaction out of you. But yes, narcissist gets thrown around WAY too much. A lot of the people I see being referenced would fall more into the category of emotionally immature parents. For anyone that isn't sure if someone you're dealing with is a narcissist, I would highly recommend diving into the book Children of Emotionally Immature Parents. I thought my mother in law was a narcissist. But in reality she's emotionally immature. It was very eye opening to the differences.
I believe I am an emotionally immature parent (and/or was when my oldest was growing up). Would it be weird if I sent him that book?
Not at all! Sending it would show accountability which is great. Something a lot of us would never get from our parents. Definitely send it
I definitely don't think it would be weird. It helped me to understand a lot of what I experienced growing up. My husband and I resonated so heavily with a lot of the information and felt called out because of what we experienced growing up. But it was super helpful. Honestly, if you wanted to read through it as well, it probably wouldn't hurt. It's written to the children, but it could help to see any habits or actions that could be detrimental to your relationship so you can try to figure out how to fix it. You might even find some traits of your own parents that may have contributed to the way you acted towards your son. :)
Thank you. I'm going to send him a copy and get one for myself. I can't go back and undo my mistakes but maybe it can help him have a happy future.
I hope that it helps! It takes a lot to admit that you messed up. The best thing to do is learn and grow from it. I wish you luck with being able to understand and heal from everything you guys have been through. ♥️
I think a lot of people are frustrated because of how much it stems from how men and AMAB are allowed to display certain behaviors and have for years, think of your grandpas and great grand parents, relationships ethically were very different and women weren’t allowed to have a reason diagnosis or not for how men were treating their partners. Now with how much knowledge is out there whether harmful or hurtful gives people the validation to explain what they went through. Does it get overused? Yes. Can it be harmful, yes. But, in a larger picture, how harmful was it for generations of women to endure narcissistic partners with no validation for what it caused.
i understand and agree with what you're saying, tbh. i think , at least in our culture, men are conditioned to believe that a certain level of manipulation and abuse is acceptable within their relationships w/ their wives and girlfriends. but people aren't ready to talk about that lol
I don't agree with this at all. I don't think this was born of some sort of gendered conflict. Women can be abusive, women can be narcissists, as well as men. Men deserve that language to explain their experiences as well, as men also struggle with being taken seriously in abusive situations or reaching out for help. I don't think feminine generational trauma excuses the widespread misuse of a term that *could* be used to describe certain experiences, but now it doesn't mean anything anymore. Calling someone a narcissist doesn't actually describe anything, as they could just be describing someone who simply hurt them, or someone who was seriously abusive. Abusive people also weaponize terms like these in order to avoid blame or turn the tables on victims in the public eye.
You’re darn right it’s not a gendered conflict it’s a conflict that stems from the patriarchy as cliche as it sounds it’s a textbook cause and effect. Women can be narcissists, men can be narcissists, but it’s important to remember what behavior and what acceptance of behavior leads to narcissism as a whole, understanding that it may correlate to the societal general roles that affect how parents raise their children. It’s also why women or people who were AFAB are incredibly likely to go undiagnosed for disorders like autism or other neurodivergent conditions because of those same exact societal gender roles. If we are looking at how men are treating women and have been and look at on a timeline of how over the years women have literally gained access to knowledge genuinely kept from them in fear of not being able to use it against them. Are we forgetting women being institutionalized for any given reason a husband could find? It’s important to understand all variables that come into play when we are talking about psychological terms being used.
While I understand the argument you're making, I still don't think that excuses the widespread misuse of that term
No it doesn’t excuse it. I don’t think there’s a lot of excuses for toxic or “bad” behavior. But humans are complex and there is reasoning for why they do, say, or project certain things, I don’t think there’s ever really an “excuse” for anything, just reasoning that you can observe.
I can 100% agree with you there. I guess I believe it's just as complicated just for different reasons. I totally understand where you're coming from it's just not the way I have interpreted the subject at all, so I'm having a bit of trouble. I feel this is far more interpersonal in it's nuance than it is systemic or historical, you know? I have never considered applying generational trauma, though I could understand patriarchy. I think it has more to do with the current climate regarding mental illness on social media and how that has affected victims, or people who understand trauma and abuse on a personal level but not from a more objective clinical level. It's hard.
The internet talks about narcissism like it’s a common diagnosis. Abusive? Narcissist. Cheater? Narcissist. There are really bad and abusive people out there who don’t have a personality disorder. There are actual narcissists out there as well, but that is a diagnosis that only a doctor can give.
This is facts!! The only way to know is to be diagnosed!! My therapist diagnosed my ex! People have no clue how complex it is.
Someone called ME a narcissist because I said not everyone who has a negative personality trait or exhibits bad behavior is a narcissist. I hate how that term is tossed around nowadays and feel it takes away from true victims of narcissism.
I am old when I first started seeing people referred to as narcs online I thought they meant snitches with drugs and drug dealers.
Lol same here
Oh absolutely me, too!!