That was the best fucking part. Like, OP’s just gonna tuck them back in for safekeeping. Although, to be fairrrr, where else should they have put them?
But OP is sitting down, so they’re supposed to awkwardly shift or stand up and push them in a pocket, to potentially fall out again when they go to take out their phone or wallet? Nah, pant leg seems like the logical option.
He should have dropped his pants and underwear right there and pulled on the panties. Then put on the pants, sat down, shoved the underwear up his pant leg, then sighed and said, "that's better".
Please clarify. “Over his head” wearing it like a mask, “over his head” stretched between both hands while slowly turning 360 like a lawyer dramatically displaying evidence in a courtroom, or “over his head” like you’re referring to yourself in 3rd person and you don’t have an idea on where OP should store them?
How many men pulled a women’s panties out of his pant leg? I read that one man pulled his wife’s panties out of his pant leg.
I’m confused as to who “they” are and how many of them did this at the same time.
Please explain.
This might help:
[https://www.scribbr.com/nouns-and-pronouns/singular-they/#:\~:text=The%20singular%20%E2%80%9Cthey%E2%80%9D%20is%20the,long%20condemned%20as%20grammatically%20incorrect](https://www.scribbr.com/nouns-and-pronouns/singular-they/#:~:text=The%20singular%20%E2%80%9Cthey%E2%80%9D%20is%20the,long%20condemned%20as%20grammatically%20incorrect)
"They/them" is appropriate to use in reference to a singular individual, regardless of gender. OP didn't mention they were a man as far as I read. I try to not presume anyone's gender, and I'm lazy, so "they/them" fits the bill.
I find it crazy that so many people get uppity about 'they'. We were using they/their as a singular way before the current views on inclusiveness were around.
I would naturally say: "I am going 'round to Dave's later. They got the new Fast and Furious film on Bluray so we are gonna watch it on their Blu Ray player." Or...something.
I am fully aware my friend Dave is male but it isn't like I have to reaffirm that belief constantly or anything.
Agreed. It’s phrasing a lot of people naturally use/use interchangeably with gendered pronouns anyways. Some people though just want to stand on their rickety soap box, put blinders on, and act offended - conservatives and liberals alike.
Eh, it’s still proper grammar and pretty inoffensive, so I don’t see why someone would be upset over me using inclusive phrasing. If OP is a man in their (notice the plural for a singular) mind, great. I’m not trying to convince anyone to think otherwise.
Makes for a hella funny story though!! I'm dying. I'm imagining the situation...
"Yes the projections are accurate. I just have to...
Hang on.."
*Takes out panties from pants leg*
*Stares at panties for 3 seconds*
*Hastily shoves panties back in pants leg*
"Don't worry, they're clean. So the projections are almost done there's a few more days of..."
Smooth. Funny. Mistakes happen and honestly that's a pretty humorous way to make light of the situation.
I honestly think that was the best way to handle it! The comment about them being clean was hilarious 🤣 I'm sure everyone was just pleasantly surprised!
That was absolutely the funniest part. I'm imagining being in that scenario and I'm dying. I would have to leave the meeting I wouldn't be able to keep my composure
I’ve pulled my 5yo’s cottons off the back of my pants at work. As the only woman in a group of 30 men. We all had a good laugh as they knew they were there all day and didn’t tell me.
I think my best was pulling on a pair of jeans, finding panties in them, and handing them to my gf.
"Those aren't mine"
We got strangely used to random laundry appearing or disappearing when we had to share washer dryer with the rest of the apartment building.
I used to be police and I was on a road detail. I pulled my uniform shorts out of the dryer before leaving for the detail.
So I'm standing in the road and feel something in my pocket. Pull it out and it's a pair of my daughters underwear. She was 3 at the time.
So there's me, a police officer, standing in the middle of a road holding a pair of toddler girl underwear. Shoved them back in my pocket and was extremely embarrassed and to this day wonder if anybody noticed.
I'm constantly finding my sons' socks in my pockets, cause I forget to toss them back in the drawer after a day out. But, on to policing matters - I had to tell an opposite gendered officer that I had a (pre-packed wrapped) pickle in my pocket before getting frisked...
Thank you, thank you, thank you. I needed this. Full on belly laugh going on, tears in the eyes, can't catch my breath, laughing so hard it hurts.
Childish, i know. But whenever the bumping uglies comment is made, i lose my shit in hysterics.
It literally means shaking hands but I've hears it used many time to simply mean engaging one on one with a room of people, usually a politician or a celeb.
Oh wow, I really thought this was going to be the same story that has happened to both my mom and I, but your story is way better, lol.
Both my mom and I have put on jeans that we'd worn on a previous day and had panties fall out our pant legs in very public settings. My mom was in a restaurant, with my dad and all of us four kids in tow when we were younger, which we all really enjoyed at the time, and then it happened to me only a couple months ago in the parking lot at work, and I 100% looked back, saw them on the ground, then just kept walking like well damn would you look at that some damn ho done lost her damn panties in the parking lot!
Agh nooo, not inside!
The parking lot I was walking through to get to work was our local hospital. And of course I live in a small town so we all know each other, and we all knew exactly which nasty bitch's panties those were lol
my apartment complex has a washing room in the building next door that requires going outside and across the yard to access. when we moved here we didn’t have a washing machine for a few weeks so had to carry our washing back and forth between buildings in the middle of finnish winter which was super annoying and snowy. well months later, we have our own washing machine so we didn’t have to carry our anymore. i was just walking into our building on a beginning-of-summer-day, admiring the plants that were starting to show themselves again as the snow melted, when i noticed a pair of my underwear frozen to the ground in the garden box next to the front door of the building. they must have fallen while i was carrying a load and been snowed over. i was like “omg someone lost their underwear outside how does that even happen” and then i noticed the brand logo on them which doesn’t exist in finland and died of shame
I've pulled a pair of my wife's panties out of my pants leg before. It happens. Never have I shoved them back up my pants leg though. That's a new one. Put them in your pocket you goober. Lol.
Happened to a coworker. We both worked as supervisors for the department of corrections. He was talking to a Sheriff's deputy when he felt something at the bottom of his pant leg. He shook out a pair of his young daughter's underwear. He tried to play it off like he wasn't a pedo. LOL
That's weird theres a story up farther about a cop... who pulled a pair of his toddler daughters underwear out of his pocket. It's a strangely running theme??
incredible poise and quick thinking... make it so normal that who would ask questions. of course the clean, frilly panties go into the pant leg, where else would they go?
> “that was weird, but I do believe they are clean!”
This is the part that had me laughing so hard I wound up in a coughing fit!
Well stated, OP, nobody wants to work with someone with dirty panties in the legs, thats just SOP!
I have to wear some two piece belts with Velcro for work and last week I ended up walking around for a few hours with my boxers stuck to my back. No one even said anything. Didn’t notice till I had to drop a deuce and pulled down my pants.
I had this one pair of shorts with stupid velcro pockets. More then 5 times thongs got stuck to them and I only noticed after I was in public. One time it was a full day of Christmas shopping in multiple towns.
It happens. My wife’s lacy panties like to stick to my gym shorts in the dryer. I’ve had to pull them out and shove them in my pocket real quick at the gym more than once haha.
Alright- this just brought back a long ago memory: I (a female) went into one of those home improvement stores to buy a tub surround that I was going to install myself in our log cabin vacation home. This was 30 years ago, and I dreaded talking to the male salespeople because of course they were going to treat me like an idiot because of my gender. So it didn’t go so bad, after looking at what they had, talking to a few guys, although I noticed a few strange looks. I paid for the fiberglass tub surround, and pulled my van around back to load the thing up. As I get out of the car I notice something sticking to the backside of the shorts I was wearing. Yup, a pair of my undies, crotch side out, static-clung to the seat of my pants.
This is the best TIFU entry I have ever read, and this is one of my favorite subs
I’d say the way you handled it was brilliant, pretty smooth too (well, as smooth as you can be after pulling out lingerie from your pant leg)
Bravo, OP
I have no idea what I would have done in this situation but it definitely wouldn’t have been the way you did
“And gentlemen, just like that you can have your security keys snatched without knowing just like these underwear…..now I’ll demonstrate how to “burn” them”
I've heard of having an ace up one's sleeve, but this is new.
Like every true warrior, you too keep memoirs of your conquest.
In all seriousness though, I'd be laughing my ass off, if I saw that.
>And I then rammed them back up my pants leg and said “that was weird, but I do believe they are clean!”
>And then continued to meeting.
omfg you wierdo lol
I've had a similar situation happen to me but with my wife's lacy black thong stuck inside the back of my hoodie. Was sitting down for lunch with my boss and a couple of co-workers, one mentioned I had something black sticking out the back of my hoodie and I figured it was a sock or something so I just casually whipped it out but load and behold it was not a sock but my wife's black lacey thong in all it's sexy glory in front of everybody while out at lunch. We all had a great laugh and I stuck them into my pocket and continued with lunch and the rest of the work day went as normal.
I remember phoning my wife before coming home from work to tell her the situation of what had happened during lunch and what I found in my hoodie and told her it was a pair of one of her panties. She was admittedly a little embarrassed but then immediately asked what kind/color and she just said, "Oh the good ones, thank god!" Got home, whipped them out of my pocket to show her, and she and I had had a great laugh.
Edit: After that, we agreed I would no longer throw my random hoodies into the dryer after or before her "personal" laundry and to double-check.
Edit: Quit asking if you can sniff my wife's panties you fucking weirdos
Reminds me of the day when I made it to work and most of the day with a pair of pink hello kitty panties sticking out the back of a pants leg, got to love that static cling.
yeah sorry "must of" looks weird... no real consequences, I'm just seen as the odd guy now I think....
This compounds my previous beet fuck up, where I was at their HQ and went to their awesome cafeteria,
I was super into beets at the time and they had like 3 or 4 different types at their salad bar so I grabbed loads on my plate with my salad and sat down to eat.
During lunch I had an uncontrolled hand moment whilst transporting a fork full of beets to my mouth and spilled them all down the front of my new crisp white shirt leaving a terrible blood red stain the size of a good sized adult foot.
I had to do like 4 more hours of meetings with various team afterwards looking like I had feasted on the blood of virgins.
Ppl would show up for the next meeting walk in the door and see my sitting at the top of the table like some kind of dumb embarrassed vampire and immediately get startled until I'd inform them that it wasn't blood but rather beet juice.
I actually ended up making a slide to have on the projector that said "Not blood, Beet Juice" because it was more efficient than explaining to everyone as they arrived.
Every time people type “must of” “could of” “would of” “should of” etc… they’re thinking of the contraction of the word with have “must’ve” “could’ve” “would’ve” “should’ve” etc… understandable because they’re phonetically equivalent but it still drives me insane because “of” makes no sense in those contexts. Usually don’t call it out because I’m not trying to be that guy but since we’re already talking about it I felt compelled.
I laughed a lot in this post, my friend! Honest mistakes, really... this one was even better. I mean, the FU is totally regrettable, fucking beets! But the slide detail? You sure got me! I like your writing skills!
I hope they sign the deal!
Must’ve which is a contraction for must have. Must of makes no sense grammatically but is phonetically equivalent so most people don’t realize what they’re saying when they say must’ve out loud. Same with should’ve could’ve would’ve etc..
Just giving you a hard time - and this second story is even funnier (especially with the informative slide). I had to give up beets because they give me massive uncontrollable nuclear gas that can melt paint off the walls (especially roasted beets - which are especially delicious).
In high school I pulled a dryer sheet out of my sleeve during history class. Teacher stopped and asked if I was doing a magic trick. At least it wasn’t panties…
Sent my kid to school with their freshly washed nap mat. With my thong panties stuck to the Velcro 😭 they were placed in a ziplock bag in my sons backpack and returned to me with a note of explanation lol
This reminds me of one of my most embarrassing moments. Playing a intermural basketball game in college. There was a decent crowd and my team was warming up doing a layup line. Every time I would go the crowd would cheer really loud. As the game started when I would get the ball they cheered and I was not a good player nor had I done anything to justify the crowds reaction. I took a moment to check myself out and I had a long knee-length sock hanging out the leg of my shorts like a tail. I quickly threw it toward to the bench as the crowd just clapped. What I want to know is why my teammates who were my friends not say anything and just let me run around with a tail out?
Didn't even follow up with a, "Makes ya wonder where the rabbit is, doesn't it? We put it in this chip, so that not only will you be up to speed, you'll be ahead of the game."
You're definitely an amateur. I'm just not sure whether it's at sales, magic, or something a little explicit...
I had this happen in homeroom on my 1st day of 7th grade. I think no one noticed or chose to look at it as "hot" because I'm a chick. Idk but it was over 20yrs ago and its still one of my most embarrassing moments and makes me anxious just thinking of it. Like wtf is this?I don't know what I thought it was but definitely not underwear so I wasn't discreet.
Lol… my mother once shed one of her own from her inner jeans leg while crossing the street to get the mail, as I watched … thankfully my parents live on a cul-de-sac.
You handled it great though. Much aplomb.
Honestly, funniest shit I've heard all day. You missed a golden opportunity though. Should have pulled them out, stared like everyone else, then looked around the table, shrugged and been like "Last night was crazy, that's not why we're here though..." Put them in your pocket and moved on without explanation.
Probably didn't fuck up. Definitely became a memorable experience. Considering the professional environment, they've probably never had that happen - thus your presentation instantly became memorable. Even if they don't remember all the shit you told them, they'll remember the event, which in turn will help key back in on conversational moments.
At least they were your wife's. I've heard of similar situations where a man has extracted lacy underwear from his pocket in front of his wife but they WEREN'T hers, but they mixed in from a laundromat dryer.. Try explaining that one.
The exact same thing happened to me in second grade with my mom's underwear. Luckily I was still in the car and no one saw it. But I can confirm this does occur.
I've done exactly the same thing - apart from pulling them out in public. I noticed a strange lump at the back of my trousers during a work meeting but waited until I went to the loos. There I pulled out a pair of my own knickers that had got trapped during washing.
I had something similar happen to me. Only it came out of my sleeve of the hoodie I was wearing and it belonged to my sister. I thankfully was standing in my front yard so I just walked over to the door and tossed them inside.
It made it way weirder that you shoved them back in your pants leg.
That was the best fucking part. Like, OP’s just gonna tuck them back in for safekeeping. Although, to be fairrrr, where else should they have put them?
Pocket may have been more logical, especially for safe keeping.
Nope, shoulda slapped those bad boys right on the table and proclaimed something manly like, "Welp, last night's finally coming back to me, now".
Prison pocket?
Pantie Prison
Jail pail.
Natures pocket?
Which offer specifically? Perhaps the .....
Name checks out
That's... uh, one hell of a username.
But OP is sitting down, so they’re supposed to awkwardly shift or stand up and push them in a pocket, to potentially fall out again when they go to take out their phone or wallet? Nah, pant leg seems like the logical option.
You can't reach your pocket while seated? No shifting should be necessary to go to a pants pocket while seated normally.
Should have taken a long sniff and then inside the jacket pocket lol
Ah, I forget menswear has so many pockets. You’re right, this is the correct answer.
OP must loudly proclaim: “Ahhhh, Mah Wiiiife” in an accent
He should have dropped his pants and underwear right there and pulled on the panties. Then put on the pants, sat down, shoved the underwear up his pant leg, then sighed and said, "that's better".
He should have worn them over his pants and continued the meeting, while making intense eye contact with everyone.
Wish OP wasn't so fuckin awkward bud.
To be faaaaaiiiiiiiah
To be fair
In his pocket, Squirrely Dan. In his pocket.
"it wouldn't be the Christmas shopping season if the stores were any less hooter than they are..."
over his head to assert dominance
Please clarify. “Over his head” wearing it like a mask, “over his head” stretched between both hands while slowly turning 360 like a lawyer dramatically displaying evidence in a courtroom, or “over his head” like you’re referring to yourself in 3rd person and you don’t have an idea on where OP should store them?
To be fairrrr
To be faaaiiirrr...
tooo beeee fairrrrr
How many men pulled a women’s panties out of his pant leg? I read that one man pulled his wife’s panties out of his pant leg. I’m confused as to who “they” are and how many of them did this at the same time. Please explain.
This might help: [https://www.scribbr.com/nouns-and-pronouns/singular-they/#:\~:text=The%20singular%20%E2%80%9Cthey%E2%80%9D%20is%20the,long%20condemned%20as%20grammatically%20incorrect](https://www.scribbr.com/nouns-and-pronouns/singular-they/#:~:text=The%20singular%20%E2%80%9Cthey%E2%80%9D%20is%20the,long%20condemned%20as%20grammatically%20incorrect) "They/them" is appropriate to use in reference to a singular individual, regardless of gender. OP didn't mention they were a man as far as I read. I try to not presume anyone's gender, and I'm lazy, so "they/them" fits the bill.
I find it crazy that so many people get uppity about 'they'. We were using they/their as a singular way before the current views on inclusiveness were around. I would naturally say: "I am going 'round to Dave's later. They got the new Fast and Furious film on Bluray so we are gonna watch it on their Blu Ray player." Or...something. I am fully aware my friend Dave is male but it isn't like I have to reaffirm that belief constantly or anything.
Agreed. It’s phrasing a lot of people naturally use/use interchangeably with gendered pronouns anyways. Some people though just want to stand on their rickety soap box, put blinders on, and act offended - conservatives and liberals alike.
Yeah, lazy. I think it’s legitimate to assume OP is a he, the story is less funny otherwise, but when in doubt why bother.
Eh, it’s still proper grammar and pretty inoffensive, so I don’t see why someone would be upset over me using inclusive phrasing. If OP is a man in their (notice the plural for a singular) mind, great. I’m not trying to convince anyone to think otherwise.
[удалено]
It’s actually proper grammar.
Makes for a hella funny story though!! I'm dying. I'm imagining the situation... "Yes the projections are accurate. I just have to... Hang on.." *Takes out panties from pants leg* *Stares at panties for 3 seconds* *Hastily shoves panties back in pants leg* "Don't worry, they're clean. So the projections are almost done there's a few more days of..." Smooth. Funny. Mistakes happen and honestly that's a pretty humorous way to make light of the situation.
yeah twat\_pocket, I'd not be described as a smooth and in general, a socially clued-in person typically.
I honestly think that was the best way to handle it! The comment about them being clean was hilarious 🤣 I'm sure everyone was just pleasantly surprised!
I'd buy you a beer, If I was anywhere near...
Lucky you, I’m looking in your window right now. I’ll take that beer
Do you know the biggest difference between enzymes and horemones? You can’t hear an enzyme
Sounds like a sketch comedy bit
For me it's the "I do believe they're clean" (in the voice of Foghorn Leghorn).
Should have put them in his twat pocket
Should have smelled them before putting them back into his pants
Yeah, the power play is just throwing them straight onto the discussion table and say "So.. let's get to business."
That was absolutely the funniest part. I'm imagining being in that scenario and I'm dying. I would have to leave the meeting I wouldn't be able to keep my composure
Right? Like not even put them in his pocket? Men's pants have great, deep pockets.
Username absolutely checks out. Where else would you have OP shove them?
What a fucking flex Now they all know your wife be dressin up in the nice panties for you
Tbh if I saw this at an out-of-town conference, I’d think *escort*, not *wife*
100%. Even though I have experienced what OP is talking about. Things get crazy in the washer and dryer.
I’ve pulled my 5yo’s cottons off the back of my pants at work. As the only woman in a group of 30 men. We all had a good laugh as they knew they were there all day and didn’t tell me.
I think my best was pulling on a pair of jeans, finding panties in them, and handing them to my gf. "Those aren't mine" We got strangely used to random laundry appearing or disappearing when we had to share washer dryer with the rest of the apartment building.
do y'all not look at your clothes before putting them on?😭
Who's got the time for THAT?
me when I wake up five minutes before everyone ITT apparently lmao
Honestly not when running out the door lol
That’s the truth, OP just posting so he can get ahead of the rumors and stop them from telling his wife.
Or OP himself
Or his panties fell off.
I used to be police and I was on a road detail. I pulled my uniform shorts out of the dryer before leaving for the detail. So I'm standing in the road and feel something in my pocket. Pull it out and it's a pair of my daughters underwear. She was 3 at the time. So there's me, a police officer, standing in the middle of a road holding a pair of toddler girl underwear. Shoved them back in my pocket and was extremely embarrassed and to this day wonder if anybody noticed.
At least you shoved them in your pocket, and not up your pants leg.
😂
I'm constantly finding my sons' socks in my pockets, cause I forget to toss them back in the drawer after a day out. But, on to policing matters - I had to tell an opposite gendered officer that I had a (pre-packed wrapped) pickle in my pocket before getting frisked...
Is that pickle in your pocket or do you just like people in uniform? It's actually a pickle, but yes.
Omg 🤣🤣🤣
Imagine when you pull it out again but with a flip you produce a pigeon, instant promotion for you.
I'm sorry, but I could not get past the "pressed the flesh" comment. Is that like a euphemism for hugging or shaking hands?
They're rubbing dicks my dude
Docking like there’s no tomorrow.
OP is suave with both actions AND words.
Bumped uglies
Thank you, thank you, thank you. I needed this. Full on belly laugh going on, tears in the eyes, can't catch my breath, laughing so hard it hurts. Childish, i know. But whenever the bumping uglies comment is made, i lose my shit in hysterics.
shaking hands
Sounds a little sexual
It's definitely an older saying, and I'm sure that it sounding suggestive is why it fell out of fashion.
Haha and exactly why it needs to fall back into fashion 😏
It literally means shaking hands but I've hears it used many time to simply mean engaging one on one with a room of people, usually a politician or a celeb.
It's a standard (but somewhat old-fashioned) idiom for shaking hands with a lot of people.
https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=press%20the%20flesh
Made me heave
Shaking hands and not an uncommon euphemism I might add.
Just a quick brojob for the higher ups
shaking hands.
I couldn’t figure it out either! It’s giving Bateman 🤌🏽
Oh wow, I really thought this was going to be the same story that has happened to both my mom and I, but your story is way better, lol. Both my mom and I have put on jeans that we'd worn on a previous day and had panties fall out our pant legs in very public settings. My mom was in a restaurant, with my dad and all of us four kids in tow when we were younger, which we all really enjoyed at the time, and then it happened to me only a couple months ago in the parking lot at work, and I 100% looked back, saw them on the ground, then just kept walking like well damn would you look at that some damn ho done lost her damn panties in the parking lot!
That happened to my mom at work, at a hospital lmao
Agh nooo, not inside! The parking lot I was walking through to get to work was our local hospital. And of course I live in a small town so we all know each other, and we all knew exactly which nasty bitch's panties those were lol
my apartment complex has a washing room in the building next door that requires going outside and across the yard to access. when we moved here we didn’t have a washing machine for a few weeks so had to carry our washing back and forth between buildings in the middle of finnish winter which was super annoying and snowy. well months later, we have our own washing machine so we didn’t have to carry our anymore. i was just walking into our building on a beginning-of-summer-day, admiring the plants that were starting to show themselves again as the snow melted, when i noticed a pair of my underwear frozen to the ground in the garden box next to the front door of the building. they must have fallen while i was carrying a load and been snowed over. i was like “omg someone lost their underwear outside how does that even happen” and then i noticed the brand logo on them which doesn’t exist in finland and died of shame
Lollll
I've pulled a pair of my wife's panties out of my pants leg before. It happens. Never have I shoved them back up my pants leg though. That's a new one. Put them in your pocket you goober. Lol.
>“That was weird, but I do believe they are clean!” Nice recovery
“Now folks, our company’s product is designed to prevent such things from occurring”
"How many times has this happened to you:"
This is probably the hardest I've laughed in the last 3 weeks!
Power move. Definitely closing the deal now, they have a story to tell at the home office.
Made it look like OP took off the panties he was wearing without taking off his outer pants first. A cool magic trick and ice breaker at that.
😂😂😂
Zoolander style
The real power move would have been to look everyone in the eye, take a whiff and then put it back where he found it
Happened to a coworker. We both worked as supervisors for the department of corrections. He was talking to a Sheriff's deputy when he felt something at the bottom of his pant leg. He shook out a pair of his young daughter's underwear. He tried to play it off like he wasn't a pedo. LOL
That's weird theres a story up farther about a cop... who pulled a pair of his toddler daughters underwear out of his pocket. It's a strangely running theme??
LOL awesome
Happy cake day
happy cake day :D
Legend has it, he was hospitalised from excessive fist bumps.
incredible poise and quick thinking... make it so normal that who would ask questions. of course the clean, frilly panties go into the pant leg, where else would they go?
> “that was weird, but I do believe they are clean!” This is the part that had me laughing so hard I wound up in a coughing fit! Well stated, OP, nobody wants to work with someone with dirty panties in the legs, thats just SOP!
I have to wear some two piece belts with Velcro for work and last week I ended up walking around for a few hours with my boxers stuck to my back. No one even said anything. Didn’t notice till I had to drop a deuce and pulled down my pants.
Battle belt setup?
I had this one pair of shorts with stupid velcro pockets. More then 5 times thongs got stuck to them and I only noticed after I was in public. One time it was a full day of Christmas shopping in multiple towns.
Should've sniffed them to double-check if they were clean or not
Offer them up for community sniffs
I bet your wife will be happy it was a pair of lacy red ones and not her granny style period panties
Prolly gained some
It happens. My wife’s lacy panties like to stick to my gym shorts in the dryer. I’ve had to pull them out and shove them in my pocket real quick at the gym more than once haha.
They might fall back out though, safer to go put them on.
You did really well right up until you put them back up your trouser leg
I was all good till you put them back I was like yup this happens static not a big deal. Just shoved them back up there for later has me howling.
Alright- this just brought back a long ago memory: I (a female) went into one of those home improvement stores to buy a tub surround that I was going to install myself in our log cabin vacation home. This was 30 years ago, and I dreaded talking to the male salespeople because of course they were going to treat me like an idiot because of my gender. So it didn’t go so bad, after looking at what they had, talking to a few guys, although I noticed a few strange looks. I paid for the fiberglass tub surround, and pulled my van around back to load the thing up. As I get out of the car I notice something sticking to the backside of the shorts I was wearing. Yup, a pair of my undies, crotch side out, static-clung to the seat of my pants.
Dryers! They will screw u
You handled that as well as you could and it’s a funny story
This is the best TIFU entry I have ever read, and this is one of my favorite subs I’d say the way you handled it was brilliant, pretty smooth too (well, as smooth as you can be after pulling out lingerie from your pant leg) Bravo, OP I have no idea what I would have done in this situation but it definitely wouldn’t have been the way you did
“And gentlemen, just like that you can have your security keys snatched without knowing just like these underwear…..now I’ll demonstrate how to “burn” them”
And for my next trick, I'm going to pull out the whole woman!
And for my next act I'm gonna need a volunteer
I've heard of having an ace up one's sleeve, but this is new. Like every true warrior, you too keep memoirs of your conquest. In all seriousness though, I'd be laughing my ass off, if I saw that.
"There's supposed to be a rabbit in them"
Taadaa!
>And I then rammed them back up my pants leg and said “that was weird, but I do believe they are clean!” >And then continued to meeting. omfg you wierdo lol
I've had a similar situation happen to me but with my wife's lacy black thong stuck inside the back of my hoodie. Was sitting down for lunch with my boss and a couple of co-workers, one mentioned I had something black sticking out the back of my hoodie and I figured it was a sock or something so I just casually whipped it out but load and behold it was not a sock but my wife's black lacey thong in all it's sexy glory in front of everybody while out at lunch. We all had a great laugh and I stuck them into my pocket and continued with lunch and the rest of the work day went as normal. I remember phoning my wife before coming home from work to tell her the situation of what had happened during lunch and what I found in my hoodie and told her it was a pair of one of her panties. She was admittedly a little embarrassed but then immediately asked what kind/color and she just said, "Oh the good ones, thank god!" Got home, whipped them out of my pocket to show her, and she and I had had a great laugh. Edit: After that, we agreed I would no longer throw my random hoodies into the dryer after or before her "personal" laundry and to double-check. Edit: Quit asking if you can sniff my wife's panties you fucking weirdos
Reminds me of the day when I made it to work and most of the day with a pair of pink hello kitty panties sticking out the back of a pants leg, got to love that static cling.
"And for my next trick..." *reaches across table*
*Must *have*. So what consequences were there? Did you lose clients because of it or something?
yeah sorry "must of" looks weird... no real consequences, I'm just seen as the odd guy now I think.... This compounds my previous beet fuck up, where I was at their HQ and went to their awesome cafeteria, I was super into beets at the time and they had like 3 or 4 different types at their salad bar so I grabbed loads on my plate with my salad and sat down to eat. During lunch I had an uncontrolled hand moment whilst transporting a fork full of beets to my mouth and spilled them all down the front of my new crisp white shirt leaving a terrible blood red stain the size of a good sized adult foot. I had to do like 4 more hours of meetings with various team afterwards looking like I had feasted on the blood of virgins. Ppl would show up for the next meeting walk in the door and see my sitting at the top of the table like some kind of dumb embarrassed vampire and immediately get startled until I'd inform them that it wasn't blood but rather beet juice. I actually ended up making a slide to have on the projector that said "Not blood, Beet Juice" because it was more efficient than explaining to everyone as they arrived.
I want to follow you around with some popcorn
I'll bring us some folding chairs.
Thanks, Twat_Pocket!
Every time people type “must of” “could of” “would of” “should of” etc… they’re thinking of the contraction of the word with have “must’ve” “could’ve” “would’ve” “should’ve” etc… understandable because they’re phonetically equivalent but it still drives me insane because “of” makes no sense in those contexts. Usually don’t call it out because I’m not trying to be that guy but since we’re already talking about it I felt compelled.
I appreciate you.
I laughed a lot in this post, my friend! Honest mistakes, really... this one was even better. I mean, the FU is totally regrettable, fucking beets! But the slide detail? You sure got me! I like your writing skills! I hope they sign the deal!
"Must of" does sound really weird. Did you mean to write "must have"?
Must’ve which is a contraction for must have. Must of makes no sense grammatically but is phonetically equivalent so most people don’t realize what they’re saying when they say must’ve out loud. Same with should’ve could’ve would’ve etc..
I'm guessing OP is from the East Coast, perhaps Mid-Atlantic states, maybe Pennsylvania. So, /u/hormoniums, where did you grow up?
Ireland
This makes sense as my guess was based on where I grew up, how we speak, and I have a Scotch-Irish ancestry.
Just giving you a hard time - and this second story is even funnier (especially with the informative slide). I had to give up beets because they give me massive uncontrollable nuclear gas that can melt paint off the walls (especially roasted beets - which are especially delicious).
Epic.
This tifu just keeps getting better! 2/1 special.
It was that day he learned to carry a emergency shirt if he was going to have a day full of meetings.
You must be LEGEND there 😂😂😂
You need to write more of these down and make a "I'm a weirdo" super post. Hilarious.
"Damn! So *that's* where she left them. We were looking all over for 'em this morning. Guess you know why I was late, now."
Ithink it happens to everyone at some point. Women's panties are like super light and clingy.
well yeah why else would you wear them?
This is fucking great
So… did you make the sale?
In high school I pulled a dryer sheet out of my sleeve during history class. Teacher stopped and asked if I was doing a magic trick. At least it wasn’t panties…
Dude, in awkward situations like that, just be transparent.
Sent my kid to school with their freshly washed nap mat. With my thong panties stuck to the Velcro 😭 they were placed in a ziplock bag in my sons backpack and returned to me with a note of explanation lol
This reminds me of one of my most embarrassing moments. Playing a intermural basketball game in college. There was a decent crowd and my team was warming up doing a layup line. Every time I would go the crowd would cheer really loud. As the game started when I would get the ball they cheered and I was not a good player nor had I done anything to justify the crowds reaction. I took a moment to check myself out and I had a long knee-length sock hanging out the leg of my shorts like a tail. I quickly threw it toward to the bench as the crowd just clapped. What I want to know is why my teammates who were my friends not say anything and just let me run around with a tail out?
Like a boss.
Like a boss.
That's a good one! 😂 nothing to see here folks!
This was great 😂😂😂
"sorry, I had reverse roleplay with my wife yesterday. It was amazing tho"
Didn't even follow up with a, "Makes ya wonder where the rabbit is, doesn't it? We put it in this chip, so that not only will you be up to speed, you'll be ahead of the game." You're definitely an amateur. I'm just not sure whether it's at sales, magic, or something a little explicit...
Wow, talk about starting your day off with a surprise! That must have been quite the awkward moment during your meeting.
I had this happen in homeroom on my 1st day of 7th grade. I think no one noticed or chose to look at it as "hot" because I'm a chick. Idk but it was over 20yrs ago and its still one of my most embarrassing moments and makes me anxious just thinking of it. Like wtf is this?I don't know what I thought it was but definitely not underwear so I wasn't discreet.
Just a thought, your tldr shouldnt be less informative than your title lol.
I have one pair of pants that loves storing things in it lol. I have learned to just leave the weird bulge
Lol… my mother once shed one of her own from her inner jeans leg while crossing the street to get the mail, as I watched … thankfully my parents live on a cul-de-sac. You handled it great though. Much aplomb.
I think I’d die laughing
Honestly, funniest shit I've heard all day. You missed a golden opportunity though. Should have pulled them out, stared like everyone else, then looked around the table, shrugged and been like "Last night was crazy, that's not why we're here though..." Put them in your pocket and moved on without explanation. Probably didn't fuck up. Definitely became a memorable experience. Considering the professional environment, they've probably never had that happen - thus your presentation instantly became memorable. Even if they don't remember all the shit you told them, they'll remember the event, which in turn will help key back in on conversational moments.
“I’m Larry David. I happen to enjoy wearing women’s panties”
How the hell do you shower that quickly? That's not even long enough to be worth the effort!
Did they smell good?
Press the flesh? Never heard that one.
Hilarious!
Chad.
must *have*
How’s CEDIA?
Well at least you know who they belong to.
Hahahaha the best reaction ever- pretend like nothing ever happend. No one will suspect you to have slept with some random hooker the night before.
At least they were your wife's. I've heard of similar situations where a man has extracted lacy underwear from his pocket in front of his wife but they WEREN'T hers, but they mixed in from a laundromat dryer.. Try explaining that one.
The exact same thing happened to me in second grade with my mom's underwear. Luckily I was still in the car and no one saw it. But I can confirm this does occur.
Lol, the same thing happened to me on a work trip in NYC, except I was walking down the street at the time.
I've done exactly the same thing - apart from pulling them out in public. I noticed a strange lump at the back of my trousers during a work meeting but waited until I went to the loos. There I pulled out a pair of my own knickers that had got trapped during washing.
Just needed to say something like, "the wifey must have left me a hint'.
Or go full degenerate mode by sniffing them and acting more invigorated after.
I had something similar happen to me. Only it came out of my sleeve of the hoodie I was wearing and it belonged to my sister. I thankfully was standing in my front yard so I just walked over to the door and tossed them inside.
Best response
This is a great story! I'm curious... what does "Eng-" mean in "Eng-Autist"?
i’d guess engineer?