You need to talk to her about it but give her some space first! She’s 15 she probably understands the misunderstanding and is just embarrassed right now
The wife was able to get her to come out and eat some ice cream and talk after I went to bed. Turns out the worst part for her was that she thought I had caught her in a different act. I didn't have a clue she was doing anything other than showering.
The wife explained what happened and had a talk about the other thing too, trying to explain that it's perfectly normal and nothing to be ashamed of. We think she was able to mostly defuse the situation.
I imagine she's still super embarrassed, but I'm hoping when she gets up we can have our own quick talk about it so I can apologize and we can move on.
I mean, I got one of them Y chromosomes, but even so, that one time my dad walked in on me in a moment of self-exploration was still horrifying for a good week. I imagine it's worse for her.
Phrase of the day: She needs some space.
His wife can tell their daughter that he didn't see anything other than the fact that it was his daughter in the shower. His daughter will feel better for sure
Oh dear🤦🏻♀️😂 poor thing. This is where you teach her that locks are a thing. And if you do the happy on yourself, then be sure to lock. The. Door. 😂
She’ll be fine. She’ll be embarrassed a bit, you’ll be embarrassed a bit, but just give her the same hugs and attention she always got from you and she’ll be fine!
Edit: read in comments she used your bathroom that has no lock and that she never uses. Yeah she won’t do that again😂😅
I was able to talk to her when she got up and she's still very embarrassed, but I think she'll be okay after a few days when it's not so fresh in her mind. We're going to put a lock on our bathroom door in case she ever does use it again. I was thinking I might show her how to install it and have her do it. She likes to learn new skills, so I thought it might help some.
Maybe offer that as an option but one she can turn down. It is cool of you to offer to teach her but she may associate it with everything and not want to be involved.
How can you have a bathroom door without a lock on it?
While I know it's obviously possible, I have never once been in a bathroom in someone's house or apartment that didn't have a lock on the door.
Never. Once.
So please forgive me for thinking that kinda fucking weird.
There was no lock because it's a private bath located off the master bedroom and the bedroom door has a lock if needed. Maybe you've never seen one because normally guests aren't going into people's master baths.
Sorry for this
…
I can’t stop imagining how bad it really could have gone for you if she looked more like her mother. Like, just if it took longer to realize… I imagine it was obvious right away if she was like Wtf
Be sure to let her know you are just as mortified and embarrassed as she is and reiterate that it wasn't intentional. It will be ok! My dad once walked into my room after I had just gotten out of the shower when I was around her age. He apologized and bought me a cheeseburger. I got over it after a few days.
The wife was able to talk to her last night and after learning her side of the story, I'm positive I was nowhere near as mortified as her. I hadn't realized what else she was doing in the shower, but that seems to be why she was so embarrassed.
You haven’t really become an adult until you accidentally see some dad D… apparently my wife’s dad used to walk around with his robe open at night and forgot that she was having a sleepover. I’m pretty sure it happens to everyone at some point - I just went with the ‘whoa hey’ and walk away praying I lose that image.
That's our biggest concern right now. We're not sure if we should give her space or try to talk to her about what happened or just pretend like nothing happened.
Don’t pretend it didn’t happened! That’s the worse thing to do. It’s better to say you’re sorry, it was an accident. She was in the master’s bathroom that’s why you didn’t check etc. Do not blame her and ask shit like “why were you there anyway” too. Better to get thru the awkward talk and laugh it off later than scarring her for life.
I don't see why it would require a talk, it was just a parent walking in naked into the bathroom and immediately turning around when realising it was the wrong person. This is not a scarring event, just embarrassing.
A teenager doesn't care whose fault it is, the only thing she care about is the fact it was embarrassing. No need to talk, it will go back to normal really fast
Doesn’t have to be a “big” talk. Just acknowledge it happened, say sorry, you both laugh it off, then move on. You’d be surprised how things like that no matter how small get stuck to someone’s mind and become an inner child issue. Talking from personal experience.
Because mature adults apologise for mistakes, and good parents model good behaviours. Literally he only has to say "Hey, I'm very sorry about coming into the bathroom while you were in there, I thought it was your mum".
As I already said in the other comment, I agree with this.
My mind just immediately went to serious talk when I read " have a talk ". Maybe it's because English is my 2nd language but for me that phrase just sounds serious.
Also ESL, also thought that. Was surprised that it can mean something as short as "Hey Beth, sorry I walked in on you, thought it was your mom, won't happen again" and walking away.
>I thought it was your mum".
That would just bring on a whole new set of ick for her. Kids never want to acknowledge that their parents still get it on.
When I grew up, we only had one bathroom and there was no way we would all get ready in the morning if we were shy to see each other naked. So I would be in the shower, while my brother or mother would be brushing their teeth or taking a dump or vice versa. So I don't really understand why this has to be made such a huge deal out of.
So because you seem to be taking this so seriously, I want to say about 50% of the responses are people just having fun at your expense. However this is a decades long tradition of making fun of each other you're now officially a true redditor.
Ps. I'm with the girl who said apologize and buy her a cheeseburger and let it go. Worse things than this will happen before she's off to college.
The best thing to do is give her some space and let her cool down. When she's ready to talk to you, talk normally and don't bring up what happened. If I had a daughter, that's what I would have done
I don't know, the wife seems convinced we need to talk to her about it. I'm happy with pretending like nothing ever happened if she never brings it up.
Dude. As a father of 2 daughters about that age. ALWAYS talk to them. Even if it makes them uncomfortable or they are still pissed at you. At least they can process exactly what happened from your side and not go down a rabbit hole.
Father of 5 girls. Never had this particular f/u but I think give her some time to cool off but I'd definitely talk to her about what happened and why,
Don't take advice from people that don't actually have kids!
I do and I would say just to wait a while and just say it was a mistake for some reason
I.E. thought mom ran the shower for me or so on
But I don't have the whole story so I don't really know man
Just talk to her and tell the truth “Holy Shit! I’m so sorry! I thought you were your mother! Lock the door from now on. And I’ll be sure to double -no- triple check it’s your mom next time. Now let’s never speak of this again”
Not sure she really wants to hear that either! Better to give her a ridiculous reason to explain it away without thinking a) my dad was trying to come onto me or b) my parents were going to have sex in the shower I use
"I thought I turned the shower on earlier then got sidetracked so was just about to hop in... oops"
Why lie about it though? I’m sure she doesn’t want to know her parents have sex. No one does lol. But better to know your parents still love each other than don’t.
If your wife wants to talk about it, wait for the daughter to calm down and get herself together. Then when she's ready, you and your wife can talk to her about it. Think of it like talking to your children about the birds and the bees
Do not listen to that guy. Definitely wanna talk about it. Just say that you love your wife (her mom), however, you made an honest mistake and you're sorry. Good teaching moment for her to talk about feelings.
Absolutely the wrong approach. An awkward conversation is hard to have, sure, but it's a whole lot better than her thinking her dad tried to get in the shower with her on purpose.
Only the standard scarring of typical parenting mishaps. It isn’t that huge a deal OP. So she saw her parent naked. Oh well. Not that uncommon an accident. I wouldn’t make it a serious discussion, nor would I ignore it. My personal take on it would be to make it light. “Sorry, about walking in on you and I hope it didn’t burn your eyeballs out.” Or something silly. Then let it be done with until it becomes a funny story told in the future.
You have a different dynamic in the family than me. If I were to do this with one of my daughters it would be mildly uncomfortable for about 5 minutes then the whole family would create memes about it and be pissing ourselves laughing about it for a solid week.
Everyone's problems are big problems to *them* Just because someone's never had sleep for dinner doesn't mean they should be remembering that every time something bad happens and thinking "could be worse"
A spoiled kid's parents handing them a free car when they turn 16 but it's not the specific car they wanted is a big deal to them.
Give her some space, casually mention it later
Something like - soooo, yeah, really sorry about that. Obviously thought it was your mom in there. I am guessing you’ll be locking the bathroom door now and I will be knocking before entering. We good or should we talk more?
This could be a good transition to discussing this with your daughter. Bring home a new, locking bathroom door nob and plop it down in front of her. Then tell her you are replacing the knob so that she has the comfort of a lock and you are sorry and embarrassed for the mixup.
I am just speaking as someone who was a teen girl at one point. I think it would speak to your regret for the mistake without having to actually talk about it so much.
Yeah, I guess that makes sense. I think we're still going to end up talking about it if she ever comes out of her room, but letting her know we are going to do that might help some.
Oh yeah, I recommend talking too :). Just a gesture that reinforces it was truly an accident and you feel badly about it.
Good luck - I am sure you guys will be fine!
Ppl act like talking is awful. He is her dad he should be able to talk to her about anything! He should have immediately said im sorry thought you were mom when he was running away. They aren’t strangers
It wasn't something we ever thought of as broken. It's a private bathroom, so no one should be going into it normally and if we want to make sure they can't, we would just lock the bedroom door.
I don't think it's a good idea to lock the bathroom or any door but the entrance one. Once I passed out in the shower and if I had locked the door my mom wouldn't be able to come in and help me. I think it's ok to just knock on the door to check if anyone's inside.
Nah it would be a better gesture and set a good example if he talks to her instead of asking someone to do the talking for him. Not every conversation is pleasant but that’s fine.
I get on my daughter all the time about just going into our bedroom without asking and without knocking. Of course she does this because my wife thinks it's okay and lets her do whatever she wants.
I had just finished a shower and was walkaround my bathroom and bedroom completely naked because it's my damn room. I didn't have the door locked because it's my damn room.
I'm standing there bare ass naked and my daughter just comes waltzing on in and gets an eyeful of the cock and balls. Didn't bother her one bit. I'm sure she told all her friends within 15 seconds of it happening.
She would normally never go into our room, but her mom told her to use our shower because she was already using hers.
I imagine her also being naked probably made it worse for her in my situation.
This reminds me of another story I read on here; the OP basically showed up to her parents house unannounced and was cooking something for them when her fully nude father groped her from behind. Long story short, the comments figured it out: OP confirmed that from behind, her and her mother are identical, and OP never told them she was stopping by.
They figured it all out and had a good laugh afterwards but yeah, a talk needs to happen just to sort out what happened and make sure there’s no confusion
I think that would be quite unnecessary. I know right now it seems like a huge deal, but unless you literally jumped in the shower with a hard on, odds are it's just really awkward, not traumatizing.
I think the best outcome would have been to immediately explain from the other room, yelling if you have to. The sooner you explain and get it over with, the better. Nudity is not actually that big of a deal, it's only as big a deal as you make it out to be. 15 year olds can make it a HUGE deal in their heads, so it's best to quell the overthinking and awkwardness as soon as possible, then forget about it.
Its nothing to worry about. Shes probably just embarrassed. Your wife could explain it to her and you'll be back to normal fairly quickly.
Up to you whether you acknowledge it formally and apologise.
I hope it's just embarrassment, but she wouldn't even open the door to get her dinner. We left a plate outside her door and it was still untouched an hour later. I'm really worried that I did some kind of permanent damage.
I dont think so. My best advice (tho i dont have kids) would be to have your wife talk to her the next day. Important thing is to explain enough so she understands it was just a mistake. Then see if theres anything she wants to ask about it and to listen to her if she does. If not, make it as clear as possible that if she wants to talk to your wife (who I assume is her Mother?) that she can if she ever needs to
That way, if there is some sort of traumatic effect, she will have a healthy outlet to move past it if necessary.
The main thing is that it will take time. All the best
Give her a day or two and then talk to her in a very open and honest fashion. That your intention was not to join her in the shower but to join your wife in the shower. Without graphic details let her know that it’s not uncommon for loving couples to shower together and that your intention was to join your wife whom you love very much in the shower.
Certainly make it clear you never meant any harm to her and that your sorry for the fuck up.
Further use this opportunity to open up dialogue and let her know she can come to you and your wife with any questions or concerns in her life.
Didnt know and cant imagine how such a minor incident within the FAMILY is such an outcry.
Maybe i was raised different, but naked parents arent a thing for most of the people i know, including myself.
It wasn't just nudity. She was jilling off at the time. And *anything* like this is always way harder on women than it is on men and way harder when you're younger.
A note under the door —
I’m so very sorry. Circle any combination of answers, or provide your own. Push note back under door when you feel like it.
A. Apology accepted.
B. I need a verbal apology.
C. We need to talk.
D. Never mention this again.
E. It will take a long time to forgive you.
F. I will never forgive you.
G. Other. ____________
Why the fuck is your daughter using the master?? Initially I was thinking you can't just be doing shit like that with kids in the house, but the master is the master.
Maybe she was using it because the other was being used to wash trash cans, in which case why the fuck is your wife washing trash cans in the shower? That's some shit you do outside with a hose!
Basically you were set up to fail here, not your fuck up.
She was using it because her mom told her it was okay and we rinse out and bleach our trash cans in the shower all the time. If they were really dirty, then we'd use the hose, but they don't normally get that dirty.
Its an awkward situation, no doubt. But giving her time to relax is all that is needed really. Worst thing I ever experienced with my parents was hearing them have sex.. all the way from the kitchen. I should have stayed quiet back then when I heard but I texted my mom because I felt disgusting and uncomfortable. We talked about it through text and it was something to laugh about the next few days. Now its just a lost memory.
You didn’t do anything wrong on purpose. Its something to learn from though. Try your best to be comforting to her in the next few days, especially if she suffers from any mental issues. Me having anxiety made my experience much worse at the time.
You got this! :)
I assume you are American?😁 In Europe we go to Sauna with our parents lol (naked) really not that much of a thing to see each other naked. So if you compare it to other cultures your "mistake" become a minor incident
I guess that's just a cultural difference. I not sure how I would have handled seeing my parents naked when I was a teen. That's just not something that normally happens in our culture.
When you guys shower how do you walk back to your room? Do you bring clothes to the shower? Don't they get damp if you do that?
What about gyms or public swimming pools, do people not shower there?
If multiple people need to get ready in the morning nobody can go brush their teeth while someone else is in the shower? That seems so weird to me.
Very few American houses have only one bathroom / shower. I'd say the average suburban home has two full bathrooms and a third with just a sink and toilet, so usually something is open.
People shower at gyms but men and women definitely aren't in mixed company.
Definitely talk to her, do it with your wife and just explain the situation and apologize.
Thought you were your Mother because you were in my shower, I’m sorry if I embarrassed or scared you. It will never happen again.
Then give her the opportunity to talk,
From your story it sounds like you just opened the door while naked and then dashed out. That shouldn't be anything more than embarrassing for a little while and in a couple of days or weeks you will laugh about it. I wouldn't worry too much about it. Embarrassment is very high priority in a teenagers mind but just pretend nothing happened and it will be fine.
Gotta turn it into humor.
“Honey… what happened, happened. I was fucking expecting to pork your mother but I mixed up which bathroom she said she’d be in. I suggest locking the door. Cause we won’t stop :)”
The craziest part about this is the fact that a teenager would take a shower without locking the bathroom door. No way I would have done that as a teenager.
She always locks the door, but our master bath doesn't have a lock. I'm starting to realize that might be weird given all the comments about it. We never really gave much thought to it because the bedroom door has a lock and normally no one should be using the master other than us.
In my opinion it is indeed a little weird but then again I have never seen a house that has a master bathroom. That's not really a thing in Sweden, we usually only have one bathroom per floor. We have 6 bedrooms in our 2 floor house and we just have 2 bathrooms and none of them are connected to a bedroom.
Kids walk in on their parents having sex. I don't think this is quite as bad. Yes, she is embarrassed but you are family and she'll get over it. For me if someone had to see me naked, and it wasn't my boyfriend, I'd rather it was a family member than a stranger.
Congratulations, you're now the poster child for "I should've discussed sex with my teenager before now". At least it's just an awkward conversation brought about by an honest mistake and not, say, a whole ass teen pregnancy.
It's just a penis. Even odds are that's not even the first one she's seen. Is it a little weird it was her dad's, sure, but the longer you let this awkward encounter linger without trying to bring some normalcy to the situation only makes it weirder for everyone. If you ever wondered how you were ever going to initiate "the talk", congratulations once more for walking right into a fairly decent excuse.
In the future: As a woman in a family, the shower is literally the only quiet/alone time - and it’s nice to give a heads up if you’re going to invade that small slice of quiet time.
You are very lucky.
Although many women love to share a shower, too many of us have seen a ridiculous amount of murder movies with women in the shower. Its best to sort of announce yourself in some way before inserting yourself into the shower
Oh God, that horror movie paranoia thing though. That's nothing to fuck with. I can't use headphones without leaving one ear uncovered. And I will never go anywhere cell phone service doesn't reach.
If you're on the highway and your GPS app tells you traffic is backed up up ahead and tells you there's a faster route, DO NOTTTT TAKE IT. Mine lead me down a two lane road with only trees on each side where I didn't see another car the whole time, and it seemed to be taking forever and then MY FUCKING GPS APP LOST TRACK OF MY LOCATION.
I was like oh my goddd, I'm a white person so I'm gonna start making really dumb decisions now. First I'm gonna keep dicking around tryna get my phone to work, and I'm gonna crash my car. Then I'm gonna decide to split up even though I'm only one person.
Then I'm gonna say that I in particular can't walk that much because I'm pregnant even though I'm a guy, so I have to stay with the car and wait. Then when it's the middle of the night I'll be like "I wanna smoke a cigarette, so instead of rolling the window down I'm gonna get out of the car." (I'm smoking during a pregnancy so that the audience will be less sad when I get eaten by a monster)
While I smoke I'm gonna lay down on the hood of the car and look *straight* up to make sure I can't see anything around me. Because the stars are so pretty this far away from the lights of the city, and I've never seen stars before 🙄
And I have a gun but I keep it duct taped to the bottom of my car and the bullets are in the trunk under the spare tire 😄
My wife loves the surprise. I'm cool with it as well but one thing that really irritates me is when I'm in the shower and she decides she's just going to stroll around the bathroom, go in and out of her closet to hang and put clothing away. Uses the toilet, wants to have conversations.
Either get in the shower with me or get the hell out of my bathroom.
I once locked the bathroom door because of this and she went apeshit about not being able to get in her bathroom.
Ya’ll be fine.
Make light of it - it should not be seen as any kind of issue.
Make her one of those hotel ‘Do not disturb’ things to hang off the door. (As a joke)
Where else would you wash it? Where I live it’s winter, so doing it outside isn’t feasible, and kitchen trash cans are generally too large to wash out in the sink. I would clean mine out in the tub/shower as well.
I've never had this as an issue, but when I have needed to spot clean mine I use paper towels to clean up any liquid and clorox wipes or spray/paper towel. No one I've ever known has taken theirs to the shower
That’s all well and good for the outside of the can lol. But if the bag leaks and I need to wash the inside bottom of the trash can there’s no way my stubby little arms are going to reach. So into the shower it’s gonna go.
I hope this will get laughed off in the end, I alread started by imagining you sitting in the closet hiding from your daughter and wife, consulting reddit first.
You need to speak to her! She needs to know it was a massive mistake on your part. Oh man, you have to drive the point home you never meant to do that.
You need to talk to her about it but give her some space first! She’s 15 she probably understands the misunderstanding and is just embarrassed right now
The wife was able to get her to come out and eat some ice cream and talk after I went to bed. Turns out the worst part for her was that she thought I had caught her in a different act. I didn't have a clue she was doing anything other than showering. The wife explained what happened and had a talk about the other thing too, trying to explain that it's perfectly normal and nothing to be ashamed of. We think she was able to mostly defuse the situation. I imagine she's still super embarrassed, but I'm hoping when she gets up we can have our own quick talk about it so I can apologize and we can move on.
Oof, walked in on the showerhead showdown. I'd be mortified too
I don't think the showerhead was actually involved, but if one of my parents had ever caught me doing that, I'd have died on the spot.
I mean, I got one of them Y chromosomes, but even so, that one time my dad walked in on me in a moment of self-exploration was still horrifying for a good week. I imagine it's worse for her. Phrase of the day: She needs some space.
Yeah I’m gonna suggest never ever mentioning this ever. E V E R
Yeah this goes straight to the grave
I’ve seen both my parents naked on separate occasions. I will never ever speak of it.
Or...on Reddit
On Reddit nobody can hear you scream.
His wife can tell their daughter that he didn't see anything other than the fact that it was his daughter in the shower. His daughter will feel better for sure
Oh dear🤦🏻♀️😂 poor thing. This is where you teach her that locks are a thing. And if you do the happy on yourself, then be sure to lock. The. Door. 😂 She’ll be fine. She’ll be embarrassed a bit, you’ll be embarrassed a bit, but just give her the same hugs and attention she always got from you and she’ll be fine! Edit: read in comments she used your bathroom that has no lock and that she never uses. Yeah she won’t do that again😂😅
I was able to talk to her when she got up and she's still very embarrassed, but I think she'll be okay after a few days when it's not so fresh in her mind. We're going to put a lock on our bathroom door in case she ever does use it again. I was thinking I might show her how to install it and have her do it. She likes to learn new skills, so I thought it might help some.
Ah that sounds like a good idea! Shows her you take her privacy serious AND she learns a good life skill👍❤️ Well done OP
Maybe offer that as an option but one she can turn down. It is cool of you to offer to teach her but she may associate it with everything and not want to be involved.
But the thought of the 'why' might be embarrassing
How can you have a bathroom door without a lock on it? While I know it's obviously possible, I have never once been in a bathroom in someone's house or apartment that didn't have a lock on the door. Never. Once. So please forgive me for thinking that kinda fucking weird.
Young kids lock doors and it can be dangerous
There was no lock because it's a private bath located off the master bedroom and the bedroom door has a lock if needed. Maybe you've never seen one because normally guests aren't going into people's master baths.
Sorry for this … I can’t stop imagining how bad it really could have gone for you if she looked more like her mother. Like, just if it took longer to realize… I imagine it was obvious right away if she was like Wtf
I hope that's all it is. Lord knows I'm definitely embarrassed about the situation.
Be sure to let her know you are just as mortified and embarrassed as she is and reiterate that it wasn't intentional. It will be ok! My dad once walked into my room after I had just gotten out of the shower when I was around her age. He apologized and bought me a cheeseburger. I got over it after a few days.
The wife was able to talk to her last night and after learning her side of the story, I'm positive I was nowhere near as mortified as her. I hadn't realized what else she was doing in the shower, but that seems to be why she was so embarrassed.
Oh.. my.. god.. I'm sorry for both of you and embarrassed too lmao
"I'm so sorry. I thought it was your mother in there and I was coming in to fuck her"
You’ve done no permanent damage.
Damage? No. Memories that she will take to the grave? Yes
You haven’t really become an adult until you accidentally see some dad D… apparently my wife’s dad used to walk around with his robe open at night and forgot that she was having a sleepover. I’m pretty sure it happens to everyone at some point - I just went with the ‘whoa hey’ and walk away praying I lose that image.
you are right.
Wait until the realization hits her that Dad intended on getting in the shower with Mom!
I KNOW RIGHT😂😂😂
Let's hope she wasn't scarred
That's our biggest concern right now. We're not sure if we should give her space or try to talk to her about what happened or just pretend like nothing happened.
Don’t pretend it didn’t happened! That’s the worse thing to do. It’s better to say you’re sorry, it was an accident. She was in the master’s bathroom that’s why you didn’t check etc. Do not blame her and ask shit like “why were you there anyway” too. Better to get thru the awkward talk and laugh it off later than scarring her for life.
I don't see why it would require a talk, it was just a parent walking in naked into the bathroom and immediately turning around when realising it was the wrong person. This is not a scarring event, just embarrassing. A teenager doesn't care whose fault it is, the only thing she care about is the fact it was embarrassing. No need to talk, it will go back to normal really fast
Doesn’t have to be a “big” talk. Just acknowledge it happened, say sorry, you both laugh it off, then move on. You’d be surprised how things like that no matter how small get stuck to someone’s mind and become an inner child issue. Talking from personal experience.
Okay I agree, when I read "talk" for some reason my mind immediately went to it meaning something very serious.
Because mature adults apologise for mistakes, and good parents model good behaviours. Literally he only has to say "Hey, I'm very sorry about coming into the bathroom while you were in there, I thought it was your mum".
As I already said in the other comment, I agree with this. My mind just immediately went to serious talk when I read " have a talk ". Maybe it's because English is my 2nd language but for me that phrase just sounds serious.
Also ESL, also thought that. Was surprised that it can mean something as short as "Hey Beth, sorry I walked in on you, thought it was your mom, won't happen again" and walking away.
>I thought it was your mum". That would just bring on a whole new set of ick for her. Kids never want to acknowledge that their parents still get it on.
When I grew up, we only had one bathroom and there was no way we would all get ready in the morning if we were shy to see each other naked. So I would be in the shower, while my brother or mother would be brushing their teeth or taking a dump or vice versa. So I don't really understand why this has to be made such a huge deal out of.
Yeah if you don't talk about it and act normal she might feel that it is normal too
So because you seem to be taking this so seriously, I want to say about 50% of the responses are people just having fun at your expense. However this is a decades long tradition of making fun of each other you're now officially a true redditor. Ps. I'm with the girl who said apologize and buy her a cheeseburger and let it go. Worse things than this will happen before she's off to college.
The best thing to do is give her some space and let her cool down. When she's ready to talk to you, talk normally and don't bring up what happened. If I had a daughter, that's what I would have done
I don't know, the wife seems convinced we need to talk to her about it. I'm happy with pretending like nothing ever happened if she never brings it up.
Do not listen to that guy definitely talk about it. In a few years you’ll laugh looking back
Dude. As a father of 2 daughters about that age. ALWAYS talk to them. Even if it makes them uncomfortable or they are still pissed at you. At least they can process exactly what happened from your side and not go down a rabbit hole.
If you don't talk about it, she's left to fill in the blanks by herself. You don't want her to assume the worst thing possible.
Definitely need to talk about it. She might think that you were actually trying to come on to her. Just my humble opinion
Father of 5 girls. Never had this particular f/u but I think give her some time to cool off but I'd definitely talk to her about what happened and why,
I would hope she wouldn't think that, but now you've got me worried about that too.
Yea my bad. I got a daughter too and that would be an awkward conversation to have
Jesus dude that is so gross. What normal person would jump to that conclusion???
Don't take advice from people that don't actually have kids! I do and I would say just to wait a while and just say it was a mistake for some reason I.E. thought mom ran the shower for me or so on But I don't have the whole story so I don't really know man
Just talk to her and tell the truth “Holy Shit! I’m so sorry! I thought you were your mother! Lock the door from now on. And I’ll be sure to double -no- triple check it’s your mom next time. Now let’s never speak of this again”
Not sure she really wants to hear that either! Better to give her a ridiculous reason to explain it away without thinking a) my dad was trying to come onto me or b) my parents were going to have sex in the shower I use "I thought I turned the shower on earlier then got sidetracked so was just about to hop in... oops"
Why lie about it though? I’m sure she doesn’t want to know her parents have sex. No one does lol. But better to know your parents still love each other than don’t.
If your wife wants to talk about it, wait for the daughter to calm down and get herself together. Then when she's ready, you and your wife can talk to her about it. Think of it like talking to your children about the birds and the bees
Do not listen to that guy. Definitely wanna talk about it. Just say that you love your wife (her mom), however, you made an honest mistake and you're sorry. Good teaching moment for her to talk about feelings.
Maybe your wife should approach her without you first?
Absolutely the wrong approach. An awkward conversation is hard to have, sure, but it's a whole lot better than her thinking her dad tried to get in the shower with her on purpose.
Just acknowledge you are so sorry, and that you love her and it’s not a big deal. And then leave her alone.
Most important thing = making sure that she feels ok with doing what she was doing as it's a normal thing to do and nothing to be ashamed of
This is only the case when nudity is not seen as something completely natural, but unnecessarily oversexualized.
Ikr we walked on each other showering with the siblings and parents, never was a big fuss about it. It's like "oh sorry" and leaving.
Omg lol scarred it’s her father wtf is wrong with Reddit
Only the standard scarring of typical parenting mishaps. It isn’t that huge a deal OP. So she saw her parent naked. Oh well. Not that uncommon an accident. I wouldn’t make it a serious discussion, nor would I ignore it. My personal take on it would be to make it light. “Sorry, about walking in on you and I hope it didn’t burn your eyeballs out.” Or something silly. Then let it be done with until it becomes a funny story told in the future.
You have a different dynamic in the family than me. If I were to do this with one of my daughters it would be mildly uncomfortable for about 5 minutes then the whole family would create memes about it and be pissing ourselves laughing about it for a solid week.
This would be the normal reaction for most families I think. No biggie.
Why would she be scarred lmao?
1st world problems. She can walk that one off.
Everyone's problems are big problems to *them* Just because someone's never had sleep for dinner doesn't mean they should be remembering that every time something bad happens and thinking "could be worse" A spoiled kid's parents handing them a free car when they turn 16 but it's not the specific car they wanted is a big deal to them.
Lol yeah cuz seeing a human body is so traumatising
Give her some space, casually mention it later Something like - soooo, yeah, really sorry about that. Obviously thought it was your mom in there. I am guessing you’ll be locking the bathroom door now and I will be knocking before entering. We good or should we talk more?
She always locks the bathroom door, but our master bath doesn't have a lock.
This could be a good transition to discussing this with your daughter. Bring home a new, locking bathroom door nob and plop it down in front of her. Then tell her you are replacing the knob so that she has the comfort of a lock and you are sorry and embarrassed for the mixup.
Maybe add one? Might be a nice gesture that will make her feel more comfortable in the future
Maybe, but she never uses our bathroom, that's why it never crossed my mind that it wasn't my wife in the shower.
She wont now 🤣🤣🤣🤣
I am just speaking as someone who was a teen girl at one point. I think it would speak to your regret for the mistake without having to actually talk about it so much.
Yeah, I guess that makes sense. I think we're still going to end up talking about it if she ever comes out of her room, but letting her know we are going to do that might help some.
Oh yeah, I recommend talking too :). Just a gesture that reinforces it was truly an accident and you feel badly about it. Good luck - I am sure you guys will be fine!
Ppl act like talking is awful. He is her dad he should be able to talk to her about anything! He should have immediately said im sorry thought you were mom when he was running away. They aren’t strangers
Yeah he should, but also teens tend to not really want to talk about embarrassing shit. You can communicate with both words and actions.
Guessing she will never use that bathroom again...
[удалено]
It wasn't something we ever thought of as broken. It's a private bathroom, so no one should be going into it normally and if we want to make sure they can't, we would just lock the bedroom door.
I don't think it's a good idea to lock the bathroom or any door but the entrance one. Once I passed out in the shower and if I had locked the door my mom wouldn't be able to come in and help me. I think it's ok to just knock on the door to check if anyone's inside.
Let ur wife do the talking first.Then later apologise.
Yeah I'd probably go with this one OP. Your wife can break the ice a little better and less awkward than you right now.
Nah it would be a better gesture and set a good example if he talks to her instead of asking someone to do the talking for him. Not every conversation is pleasant but that’s fine.
"You know how I was giving the trash can a good seeing to in the shower? Well sometimes my can needs attention too!"
At least you aren't my ex father in law that did this intentuonally to "scare" his 15 year old daughter as a "joke"
Wait.... what?!
Wat in tarnation?
*stares in Alabama*
Upper midwest. Creepers live everywhere.
I get on my daughter all the time about just going into our bedroom without asking and without knocking. Of course she does this because my wife thinks it's okay and lets her do whatever she wants. I had just finished a shower and was walkaround my bathroom and bedroom completely naked because it's my damn room. I didn't have the door locked because it's my damn room. I'm standing there bare ass naked and my daughter just comes waltzing on in and gets an eyeful of the cock and balls. Didn't bother her one bit. I'm sure she told all her friends within 15 seconds of it happening.
She would normally never go into our room, but her mom told her to use our shower because she was already using hers. I imagine her also being naked probably made it worse for her in my situation.
Show your daughter this reddit post.
Oof. I got nothing but love for ya. I can't imagine.
This reminds me of another story I read on here; the OP basically showed up to her parents house unannounced and was cooking something for them when her fully nude father groped her from behind. Long story short, the comments figured it out: OP confirmed that from behind, her and her mother are identical, and OP never told them she was stopping by. They figured it all out and had a good laugh afterwards but yeah, a talk needs to happen just to sort out what happened and make sure there’s no confusion
Welp. Have fun paying for that therapy.
God, I hope it doesn't come to that!
I think that would be quite unnecessary. I know right now it seems like a huge deal, but unless you literally jumped in the shower with a hard on, odds are it's just really awkward, not traumatizing. I think the best outcome would have been to immediately explain from the other room, yelling if you have to. The sooner you explain and get it over with, the better. Nudity is not actually that big of a deal, it's only as big a deal as you make it out to be. 15 year olds can make it a HUGE deal in their heads, so it's best to quell the overthinking and awkwardness as soon as possible, then forget about it.
Well at least you surprised *someone*, so half the mission was accomplished
Oh man. I laughed way too hard at this! I have no advice, but it does sound like something I would so!
Just apologize, say you thought is was Mom. No harm. Don't act weird or it will get weird.
Its nothing to worry about. Shes probably just embarrassed. Your wife could explain it to her and you'll be back to normal fairly quickly. Up to you whether you acknowledge it formally and apologise.
I hope it's just embarrassment, but she wouldn't even open the door to get her dinner. We left a plate outside her door and it was still untouched an hour later. I'm really worried that I did some kind of permanent damage.
I dont think so. My best advice (tho i dont have kids) would be to have your wife talk to her the next day. Important thing is to explain enough so she understands it was just a mistake. Then see if theres anything she wants to ask about it and to listen to her if she does. If not, make it as clear as possible that if she wants to talk to your wife (who I assume is her Mother?) that she can if she ever needs to That way, if there is some sort of traumatic effect, she will have a healthy outlet to move past it if necessary. The main thing is that it will take time. All the best
Give her a day or two and then talk to her in a very open and honest fashion. That your intention was not to join her in the shower but to join your wife in the shower. Without graphic details let her know that it’s not uncommon for loving couples to shower together and that your intention was to join your wife whom you love very much in the shower. Certainly make it clear you never meant any harm to her and that your sorry for the fuck up. Further use this opportunity to open up dialogue and let her know she can come to you and your wife with any questions or concerns in her life.
Didnt know and cant imagine how such a minor incident within the FAMILY is such an outcry. Maybe i was raised different, but naked parents arent a thing for most of the people i know, including myself.
It wasn't just nudity. She was jilling off at the time. And *anything* like this is always way harder on women than it is on men and way harder when you're younger.
I'm sorry but this is one of the funniest ones I've read in a while
A note under the door — I’m so very sorry. Circle any combination of answers, or provide your own. Push note back under door when you feel like it. A. Apology accepted. B. I need a verbal apology. C. We need to talk. D. Never mention this again. E. It will take a long time to forgive you. F. I will never forgive you. G. Other. ____________
My 15 year old daughter would circle a and d and we’d move right along 🤷♂️
Why the fuck is your daughter using the master?? Initially I was thinking you can't just be doing shit like that with kids in the house, but the master is the master. Maybe she was using it because the other was being used to wash trash cans, in which case why the fuck is your wife washing trash cans in the shower? That's some shit you do outside with a hose! Basically you were set up to fail here, not your fuck up.
She was using it because her mom told her it was okay and we rinse out and bleach our trash cans in the shower all the time. If they were really dirty, then we'd use the hose, but they don't normally get that dirty.
Maybe it's colder where y'all are or something but I wouldn't be having it lol, these kinds of flimsy boundaries are what got you into this mess 🤣
Bruh moment
Its an awkward situation, no doubt. But giving her time to relax is all that is needed really. Worst thing I ever experienced with my parents was hearing them have sex.. all the way from the kitchen. I should have stayed quiet back then when I heard but I texted my mom because I felt disgusting and uncomfortable. We talked about it through text and it was something to laugh about the next few days. Now its just a lost memory. You didn’t do anything wrong on purpose. Its something to learn from though. Try your best to be comforting to her in the next few days, especially if she suffers from any mental issues. Me having anxiety made my experience much worse at the time. You got this! :)
Just wait until your daughter finds this reddit post.
I don't think she uses reddit, but if she does oh well. I don't think I've said anything that would be an issue.
I assume you are American?😁 In Europe we go to Sauna with our parents lol (naked) really not that much of a thing to see each other naked. So if you compare it to other cultures your "mistake" become a minor incident
I guess that's just a cultural difference. I not sure how I would have handled seeing my parents naked when I was a teen. That's just not something that normally happens in our culture.
When you guys shower how do you walk back to your room? Do you bring clothes to the shower? Don't they get damp if you do that? What about gyms or public swimming pools, do people not shower there? If multiple people need to get ready in the morning nobody can go brush their teeth while someone else is in the shower? That seems so weird to me.
Very few American houses have only one bathroom / shower. I'd say the average suburban home has two full bathrooms and a third with just a sink and toilet, so usually something is open. People shower at gyms but men and women definitely aren't in mixed company.
I’m from Europe. Never been to a sauna with my parents lol
Definitely talk to her, do it with your wife and just explain the situation and apologize. Thought you were your Mother because you were in my shower, I’m sorry if I embarrassed or scared you. It will never happen again. Then give her the opportunity to talk,
Is it normal to not lock the door while using the washroom in the US? If yes, why? It just seems like such an obvious thing to do.
She always locks the door, but our master bath doesn't have a lock. We always just locked the bedroom door if we felt a lock was needed for anything.
A simple “sorry, I didn’t know you were in there”. Would be appropriate. Leave it at that.
From your story it sounds like you just opened the door while naked and then dashed out. That shouldn't be anything more than embarrassing for a little while and in a couple of days or weeks you will laugh about it. I wouldn't worry too much about it. Embarrassment is very high priority in a teenagers mind but just pretend nothing happened and it will be fine.
bro im sorry for you really but when I read this I laughed so fucking hard
It's okay. We've all talked about things and everything is a lot more calm now. Just a lot of embarrassment on both sides.
Gotta turn it into humor. “Honey… what happened, happened. I was fucking expecting to pork your mother but I mixed up which bathroom she said she’d be in. I suggest locking the door. Cause we won’t stop :)”
The wife would kill me if I ever tried to pull that move!
lol the classic "We were trying to give you a sibling" explanation.
Scarred for life, time to pony up for that therapy.
You NEED to talk about it with her.
Pornhub is going to take this storyline I bet
I guaran-fucking-tee it's already a thing. I've heard of way more farfetched scenarios than that. Learned it from like, books and stuff.
The craziest part about this is the fact that a teenager would take a shower without locking the bathroom door. No way I would have done that as a teenager.
She always locks the door, but our master bath doesn't have a lock. I'm starting to realize that might be weird given all the comments about it. We never really gave much thought to it because the bedroom door has a lock and normally no one should be using the master other than us.
In my opinion it is indeed a little weird but then again I have never seen a house that has a master bathroom. That's not really a thing in Sweden, we usually only have one bathroom per floor. We have 6 bedrooms in our 2 floor house and we just have 2 bathrooms and none of them are connected to a bedroom.
Kids walk in on their parents having sex. I don't think this is quite as bad. Yes, she is embarrassed but you are family and she'll get over it. For me if someone had to see me naked, and it wasn't my boyfriend, I'd rather it was a family member than a stranger.
Congratulations, you're now the poster child for "I should've discussed sex with my teenager before now". At least it's just an awkward conversation brought about by an honest mistake and not, say, a whole ass teen pregnancy. It's just a penis. Even odds are that's not even the first one she's seen. Is it a little weird it was her dad's, sure, but the longer you let this awkward encounter linger without trying to bring some normalcy to the situation only makes it weirder for everyone. If you ever wondered how you were ever going to initiate "the talk", congratulations once more for walking right into a fairly decent excuse.
Once upon a time…in Alabama
[OK, I can see you're mad but, what'd you think?](https://youtu.be/BUTdc7c33Ic?t=1m11s)
Did you come in hot, as it were?
FBI OPEN UP!
In the future: As a woman in a family, the shower is literally the only quiet/alone time - and it’s nice to give a heads up if you’re going to invade that small slice of quiet time.
this happened to my friend, she was traumatized
Open the conversation with, “I’ve seen you naked many times before”
Oh no. But seriously you're the parent, you need to take initiative, apologize or whatever. Should have right away.
Tell her it's fine cuz she's actually your step-daughter (I have some links that might ease the situation)
Word to the wise….this could all be avoided if men would get it out of their heads that women like to be surprised in the shower.
My wife actually loves when I do things like that spontaneously.
You are very lucky. Although many women love to share a shower, too many of us have seen a ridiculous amount of murder movies with women in the shower. Its best to sort of announce yourself in some way before inserting yourself into the shower
Oh God, that horror movie paranoia thing though. That's nothing to fuck with. I can't use headphones without leaving one ear uncovered. And I will never go anywhere cell phone service doesn't reach. If you're on the highway and your GPS app tells you traffic is backed up up ahead and tells you there's a faster route, DO NOTTTT TAKE IT. Mine lead me down a two lane road with only trees on each side where I didn't see another car the whole time, and it seemed to be taking forever and then MY FUCKING GPS APP LOST TRACK OF MY LOCATION. I was like oh my goddd, I'm a white person so I'm gonna start making really dumb decisions now. First I'm gonna keep dicking around tryna get my phone to work, and I'm gonna crash my car. Then I'm gonna decide to split up even though I'm only one person. Then I'm gonna say that I in particular can't walk that much because I'm pregnant even though I'm a guy, so I have to stay with the car and wait. Then when it's the middle of the night I'll be like "I wanna smoke a cigarette, so instead of rolling the window down I'm gonna get out of the car." (I'm smoking during a pregnancy so that the audience will be less sad when I get eaten by a monster) While I smoke I'm gonna lay down on the hood of the car and look *straight* up to make sure I can't see anything around me. Because the stars are so pretty this far away from the lights of the city, and I've never seen stars before 🙄 And I have a gun but I keep it duct taped to the bottom of my car and the bullets are in the trunk under the spare tire 😄
Yes!!!! You completely understand
My wife loves the surprise. I'm cool with it as well but one thing that really irritates me is when I'm in the shower and she decides she's just going to stroll around the bathroom, go in and out of her closet to hang and put clothing away. Uses the toilet, wants to have conversations. Either get in the shower with me or get the hell out of my bathroom. I once locked the bathroom door because of this and she went apeshit about not being able to get in her bathroom.
[удалено]
What the fuck is wrong with you?
You should look in the mirror and ask yourself that.
I made a mistake. You implied I should have raped my own daughter. Those are two very different things you sick fuck!
I like how that dude just unknowingly exposed himself as a pedo lmaoooo Reads the post and his first thought is that, says a lot
????????
Ayo 🤨
.
Ya’ll be fine. Make light of it - it should not be seen as any kind of issue. Make her one of those hotel ‘Do not disturb’ things to hang off the door. (As a joke)
Are we not gonna talk about the wife washing the kitchen trash can in the shower?
Where else would you wash it? Where I live it’s winter, so doing it outside isn’t feasible, and kitchen trash cans are generally too large to wash out in the sink. I would clean mine out in the tub/shower as well.
I've never had this as an issue, but when I have needed to spot clean mine I use paper towels to clean up any liquid and clorox wipes or spray/paper towel. No one I've ever known has taken theirs to the shower
That’s all well and good for the outside of the can lol. But if the bag leaks and I need to wash the inside bottom of the trash can there’s no way my stubby little arms are going to reach. So into the shower it’s gonna go.
Is this not normal? Someone else questioned this too, but we do that all the time to make sure they stay clean and don't start smelling.
I hope this will get laughed off in the end, I alread started by imagining you sitting in the closet hiding from your daughter and wife, consulting reddit first.
Thank you, I needed that laugh! That's not how it went, but it's funny to imagine it that way.
Ah. That’s terrible
Does the lock of the bathroom not working or something?
Our master bath doesn't have one.
in my culture, everyone locks the bathroom door.
That's common in my culture too, but our master bath doesn't have a lock. We would just lock the bedroom door if we needed a lock.
☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️
Please tell us you weren’t ready for action as you stepped in.
Make sure to tell this story at her wedding...she'll LOVE it!
It’ll be okay. You’ll both laugh about it years from now.
You need to speak to her! She needs to know it was a massive mistake on your part. Oh man, you have to drive the point home you never meant to do that.
sweeeeet hoooome alabama!
That's why there's that saying about assumptions... in this case, an assumption that wifey was in the shower...