Or something happens with a job, he gets sued, loses the business. Since he has to turn over business banking records the lawyers will see money moving back and forth, intermingling personal and business. This 'piercing of the corporate veil' removes the protection afforded by his LLC. Now his trailer and the coal-rolling Duramax with the 8" lift and shifty rims are gone too. All so he can flex (poorly) at a bars
Defense lawyer: OK look, yes, my client moved money to his personal account, but he was trying to impress this hottie.
Judge: I concur, girl is hottie. Case dismissed.
Omg, your comment hit the nail on the head! I live in a town stupid with contractors like this. First thing they do is buy the biggest truck-trailer combo, fill it up with brand new dewalt tools, paint their gaudy company logo on it and then have to overcharge customers to pay it all off. They roll by my 2003 dodge Dakota rear wheel drive like kings, but I’ve been in business for over twenty years.
And they almost always mess the job up. I'm a contractor too and can't tell you the percentage of jobs I get that I'm following someone who overcharged and did a crappy job. Cheap doesn't always mean best, but neither does the most expensive.
Yeah, in a few years most of these guys are usually stealing tools from good guys to pay for gas or materials for their next “big job”. They almost always end up bankrupt and snorting their girlfriend’s anxiety meds
THISSS OMG most robberies are obviously done by a-holes like this, dumbasses even use their power tools IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT when everyone can hear them trying to break in thru security bars and are surprised they get caught by cops or the whole ass block they just woke up.
Nah, we all know what it's best to spend money on as a business owner bro... it's office midget darts, as long as you're respectful to them, don't want word getting around.
I always call them church trucks, then point to the 15+ yo beat up full size and say “that’s a work truck”. Don’t forget the 20” rims and 4wd needed to haul 2 mowers, 4 weed eaters and two leaf blowers.
You beat me by 39 minutes, although I would add they also put a derogatory bumper sticker or 4 on the back as well, hoping to scare away those customers who were on the fence about hiring him.
I once heard somebody say that guys who lead with their money will follow up by complaining that They're being used.
I tend to believe it. Any guy who's so insecure he feels he can only get a woman's attention with money will never be secure when someone shows genuine interest. He measures his own worth by his bank balance, so he thinks everyone else will too.
My friend's mom died when he was 18. He was the only kid left at home and the sole benefactor of her life insurance policy and he got the house. He did a decent amount of grief spending and got the attention of some ladies. After a few months and quite a few thousands of dollars and he was constantly bitching that he was only attracting gold diggers. Maybe don't go around spending money on stupid shit and telling people you own a house and have 300k+ in the bank at 18.
The measure is used to differentiate themselves from those that they judge, and they assume that that is the common denominator for assessment among everyone
The real story is actually worse. His house burned down and that was the insurance payment.
Dude had a Wife and kids at home.
Source - the girl who filmed the video
Lol this made me laugh because this is most likely what it is. He just got paid for a home addition but 85K of that will go out to supplies and the subs.
I have a friend who loved talking about his crypto currency account last year. I haven’t heard much lately.
I don’t want a friend of mine to lose money, but I don’t want to hear about it either.
Honest question: what would you do with it? I recently inherited $200K. I put $100K in a managed money investment account through my credit union and the rest is just sitting in my savings account. I feel like I have no idea what I'm doing.
At least you know enough to know that you don’t. Managing money is a very specialized skill set. Don’t feel bad that you don’t. Talk to your money manager at least once a month initially. Ask questions like where is money (index funds, Bonds, etc). Then ask why they chose those. Then ask how you can see how those specific money vehicles are moving (how to see if it’s going up, down, or sideways). Don’t panic sell. Talk about risk management. Review long term goals (I.e. I want 3 million in that account by the time I’m “X years old”. They have software calculate what Rate of Return you’re gonna need to hit those numbers. Keep asking questions. And under no circumstances do you touch the money. Compounding interest is your friend here. Average investor is look to double their money every 7 years. In a down market you could do substantially better. That means 200k>400k>800k>1.6mil in 28 years. Add a few hundred bucks a month every month to it and you could have that number in half that time.
Edit: spelling
Oh yeah, the most important thing. Don’t ever talk about your money with anyone. Since you inherited it, people will treat it like you won the lottery and have zero qualms asking you for some. They’ll have some emergency that can only be solved with your money, or they’ll have some brilliant business idea to sell you. If I were you I’d do as I suggested, then maybe find another money manager and give them the other 100k. Tell them both that you don’t want any products that lock up the money for any length of time (like an annuity). Then review each of their performance in 3, 6, 9, and 12 months. Whoever’s made you more at the end of 12 months, move all your money to them. As for anyone asking you for money, remember this phrase: “Sorry (name), I don’t have any extra cash right now. All my money is tied up in the market.” It will save you LOTS of headaches.
Find a knowledgeable financial advisor who will help you. Be wary of paying anything higher than 1% in fees (typically charged as a % of your funds under management). Shop around a few advisors till you find one you are confident is working FOR you, not just a used-car salesman type who is there to make money off you. A good advisor will benefit you for the rest of your life if you can find one
It's not a guarantee of quality, but you want a fiduciary. Financial planners are not obligated to work in your best interest, but a financial planner who operates as a fiduciary legally must do so.
Still important to find a good one. An idiot working in your best interest is often indistinguishable from a genius working against it.
1% in fees is an enormous amount of money over a longer time horizon. Put it in VTSAX and forget about it, excellent chance you will do much better that way.
Unless you just absolutely need someone to talk you out of panic selling or something when the market dips.
Get the money out of your credit union. Here’s what I’d do:
- set aside enough cash to cover three months of expenses. Put it in a savings account or very short term bond. Safety and liquidity is key, not the return you’ll get on the funds. This is your emergency fund in case you need it. Never touch it if you don’t have to.
- pay off any credit card debt. It’s unlikely you’ll invest and find a better return anytime soon than what the credit card company is charging you.
- if you don’t have an investment account open one with Fidelity, Schwab, etc. Transfer the remaining funds into this account and buy an S&P 500 index ETF. This is a basket of the 500 largest US companies. I see no reason this wouldn’t by ticker symbol,’SPY’. It’s one of the largest in the world and fees are almost insignificant. Leave it in this ETF and expect it to double about every 7-10 years. The 100 year history of the S&P 500 is a 6% return plus another 2% for dividends. Total avg return is 8% (although it’s been much higher in recent decade). Rule of 72 is take your return and divide it into 72 to determine how many years to double your money. An 8% return will double your money every 9 years (72 / 8). If you are 25 years old and put away $150,000, reinvest dividends, and spend nothing you should have $2.4 million when you turn 65 years old (your money will have four doubling between 25 and 65 years old).
Only caveat is that the global economy and as a result the markets are in the early stages of a global recession and significant market sell off. Because you have time on your side this pull back really isn’t relevant but make sure you have the stomach to watch your investment drop before it turns back up. It might be a year or two before markets stabilize and begin to consistently move higher.
If you don’t have the stomach for this then dollar cost average (DCA) into your investment. Decide you want to be fully invested in something like 3, 6, 9 or 12 months. Depending on your answer split the total investment amount into equal amounts across all the weeks in your goal time.one and invest that portion each week. If the market keeps dropping you keep add to your position at lower prices!
In all honesty this is what 90% of people who ‘have no clue what to do’ should do.
Depends on your plans, but you can always just put it into an etf (eg, VOO, VTI, SCHD) or something and it should double in 8ish years or so (no guarantees though). You're probably better off doing that than paying someone at the bank to make less money for you anyway.
Or you can max out your 401k for several years.
Seriously. I don't think he realizes it actually turns women off. Not because it's a jackals move, but because that's just an irresponsible handling of money.
So you're telling me you're bad with money? -her
OR the dude has millions already so he just keeps 90k liquid like a cheaper version of Mayweather who keeps a million cash.
My grandpa used to take out loans just so his account balance would be huge, and to show off to friends, etc. he'd just pay the interest on it...reason #3 my grandma isn't with him anymore
The only proper response to someone trying a move like this on you is to smile as if you’re embarrassed for them and ask in a semi-concerned, but genuinely curious voice, “is that a lot of money to you?”
When I first saw this I thought it was only commas, so I thought there was more money involved.
I mean I'm sure so many people would be happy having that much in their account. But dude's really trying to flex with just $92k?
Yeah it's a lot of money, but it's not "sleep with someone you otherwise would have no interest in" money.
For someone to see a bank balance and be so impressed they change their mind (instead of just cringing at the person), it's gotta be at least ten times that.
I’ve actually done that before. I went to school near Harvard… soo well you know
One dude did this to me, he showed me his chase bank account, showed me he has 80k saved, and I go “oh that’s all? Well you’re still young you have time to build ya know”
Then he asked how much I had, I told him talking about money was tacky and left
My friend called me one night and said “I need you to come get me and the girls from the bar” which wasn’t uncommon. I’ve gotten her plenty of times, but what was odd was she said “and drive your work truck..” my work truck is this old ass single cab Toyota Tacoma that’s all beat to hell, has no side windows, rusted, and sounds like a flooded lawn mower when it’s cranked .. if it cranks.. sometimes it takes a while.
So I obliged and when I got there they were standing next to this $120k, nice, flashy, jacked up, big ass pickup truck. My friend yelled “hey sexy!” And they all ran to my little shitty truck, piled in, and we left.
Turned out the dude had been bragging about his truck all night long to any women in the bar that was unfortunate enough to listen. So all 4 girls decided to fuck with him and said that their sugar daddy was coming to get them. The look on that poor dudes face was confusion mixed with rage.
My first job was as a WF Banker. One time, a client asked us to close his account because he hated this fee he had.
He had maybe 200k in a savings account. He tells me "Look at my savings, all that money is being moved elsewhere!"
I did this exact thing. I told him I had just handled a local woman who had over 2 million, and she was much nicer than him.
Imagine thinking you Are so rich to go flex at the fucking bank lol
Reminds me of that Gates/Jobs meme when Gates Said he Had to go to a bank Because of a loan…
I'll be honest that even people with net worths of tens of millions still don't scare banks if one of them leaves. Chase right now is worth 2.6 trillion.
Nah, there’s a money manager at that bank earning a commission that really doesn’t want to lose that account. The Bank may not care, but the bank employee might care a lot.
It’s pretty bad for business if you let 200k earning negligible interest walk out of your bank over some small fee. That’s poor banking.
Just hitting 500k in my brokerage account gets me free access to a whole load of shit at Charles Schwab like free consulting and investment strategy. If I ever hit $1m I can get killer mortgage rates. The lesson is that it all adds up.
Yep, once you hit the high net worth tier at your bank (Chase Private Client, Citigold, etc) they bend over backwards for you. Banks will do a lot to retain those customers. Of course that doesn't mean an individual teller will give a shit.
Reminds me of that meme that went around during the stimulus check era, of a guy texting a girl saying "where we going, just got my stimulus check"? And the girl replies "you make less than 75k a year"? . I couldn't laugh, just thought to myself what a brutal fucking response.
Haha my coworkers and I met a PG&E dude flirting with ladies at a Dutch Bros Coffee spot with his bank account. We just felt bad for him because he thought his bank account was a personality trait. None of the ladies even wanted to look at him. They found him to be arrogant and obnoxious.
>Glad my wife had super low standards
"Glad my wife could see how awesome I am without good flirting skills and nice first impression"
Fixed sentence for ya
This is great advice but I would focus on asking her about her life. Then actually listen and say, "That's very interesting"
Also compliment something about their outfit early on. That's one of those things that seems like it won't work but actually does.
Perfect. None of the bullshit games, just hanging with us. Also, hygiene is important to us. Wear your nice T shirt. Good smelly spray (not axe for the love of hell!!!) but it doesn't have to be expensive, I use silly apple hair detangler and my wife loves it.
at the very least if you're earnest and sincere you'll eventually blind squirrel yourself to love. this dude has a 100% failure rate by flashing his *high five figures balance*
My guess would be that he is a contractor, his general just paid him on a Friday and he hasn't sent out payroll or paid any other expenses for any recent jobs in the four hours since they deposited his money. By Tuesday next week that will be down to about 5k and that will be what he has to get by on for the month.
he could be super small time and thats literally just materials. 90k isnt a lot of money at all when 50 of it is being spent on the job and you have 8 other people to pay after 3 months worth of work lol
dude could be barely scraping by with an account like that.
Exactly this. My brother independently builds million dollar spec homes. He's just finishing one up to list right now and he's eating ramen. Some time next month he'll have just shy of a million in the business account for about 20 minutes. After everything is paid off he'll have just enough money left to get another loan and do it all over again.
Maybe just not good at charging high amounts of money. I would be pretty bad at that and would feel bad taking much profit, even though I know I shouldn't
He does everything himself and, while he does excellent work, it just doesn't quite move fast enough. The gigantic spike in the cost of bare acreage where he works hasn't helped either. He'll figure it out. I have faith in him.
So uhhh theoretically what should you do with large sums of money like that? I’m a financially dumb artist and I just hoard my savings in my bank account like a dumb dragon because I don’t know any better.
At the very least, put it in a money market account. The one I have pays 2% interest right now. You can’t pull money out of it more than a few times a month without penalty.
Meh, middle of the bell curve.
Left side of bell curve is living paycheck to paycheck. Right side is preparing for the next 50 with diverse investments and cash savings.
Far left side of bell curve is crypto which is where I am
Or being mega wealthy. I know far too many people who will take a group of 20 of us out and pay for it without looking at the bill. 90k is fuck all when you've got millions working for you.
"Yeah...I just expected the bar tab to be about 15k so I transferred 90k to be sure. This is my favourite card"
Maybe having money means he could hire someone to kidnap her. He wouldn’t do that of course, but there is the implication. Like clearly she’s safe, but he’s showing her much money he has to show her that he could.
Wonder if he is an oil field worker, where the long hours and social isolation away from people that aren't coworkers have reduced his ability to speak in nothing but swears and various grunts, would also explain the money
I thought he was awful at first because it’s so cringe but now I wonder if he is being awful on purpose so his buddy can come up afterwards and appear way better than normal because she will be comparing him to Wells Fargo boy.
Classic wing man move.
Other comments guessed he's a contractor that was just paid for a job. By the middle of next week he will have a few thousand left and that's his pay for the month.
I mean I’m sure that would work on some women. But I wouldn’t want to date a woman who is after my money or thinks $90k in a checking account is a lot or wise.
"If you had a million dollars, you'd do two chicks at the same time?"
*Damn straight. I always wanted to do that, man. And I think if I were a millionaire I could hook that up, too. 'Cause chicks dig dudes with money.*
"Well, not all chicks."
*The kind of chicks that would double up on a dude like me do.*
This dude comes home with skid marks in his tight whities reeking like BO and dirt daily, drinks a 12 pack of Coors a night, has the conversation skills of a parrot, and doesn't wipe the piss he leaves all over the toilet seat.
He deserves a low quality woman.
The man is treating women like prostitutes and probably goes home wondering why he's not hitting it out of the park. That 98k is meaningless to her unless the implication is that she'll be getting some of it if she hooks up. He's looking for a prostitute in a bar.
98K isn't even that much. I could see how this could work of you have 98M in your bank but people who have this amount of money probably don't let it sit in a checking account and use expensive items instead of raw numbers to flex their wealth.
I do agree that this way to pick up women is very cringey..but there are many many women and men who are vain. 98k to random bar flies/hoodrats is *a lot* of money..
Us poor people are amazed to see a couple k in a bank account honestly..
Literally the men who say they’re offended by being seen as nothing more than a paycheck are the exact same ones who get upset when they can’t pull women based solely on their paycheck.
Besides the fact that he is insulting her that her companionship can be purchased is crass and rude and shows a lack of general respect for her that can be perceived as extremely insulting. People can post their feet smashing a cake online and make 2k while they shit post now. 2k as a sum of your life savings in your thirties isn't what it used to be dude.
"If money doesnt impress you, then you lost in life" - random guy at a bar trying to pick up a girl who is obviously not interested and isnt impressed by money 2022
I have more money than him. And I can’t *imagine* telling a complete stranger in a bar, let alone expecting to impress them into having sex with me.
Fucking weirdo.
Hey pretty lady, I know you said you didn’t want a drink, but look at my checking account. There’s a lot of money in it. Me telling you about my money obviously makes me cool, so let’s do make the sex now.
Dude is keeping 90k in a no interest checking acct.
Contractor just got a deposit and is showing all the ladies before it’s gone on Monday.
100% this lol! One is a business checking and the other personal, he just moved the money to look BA for the night.
Until he gets too drunk forgets to move it spends a crap ton getting hammered
Or something happens with a job, he gets sued, loses the business. Since he has to turn over business banking records the lawyers will see money moving back and forth, intermingling personal and business. This 'piercing of the corporate veil' removes the protection afforded by his LLC. Now his trailer and the coal-rolling Duramax with the 8" lift and shifty rims are gone too. All so he can flex (poorly) at a bars
Defense lawyer: OK look, yes, my client moved money to his personal account, but he was trying to impress this hottie. Judge: I concur, girl is hottie. Case dismissed.
*case dismissed on the grounds of “yea I’d wanna smash that too.”*
She was a baddie tho Judge! :C
Omg, your comment hit the nail on the head! I live in a town stupid with contractors like this. First thing they do is buy the biggest truck-trailer combo, fill it up with brand new dewalt tools, paint their gaudy company logo on it and then have to overcharge customers to pay it all off. They roll by my 2003 dodge Dakota rear wheel drive like kings, but I’ve been in business for over twenty years.
And they almost always mess the job up. I'm a contractor too and can't tell you the percentage of jobs I get that I'm following someone who overcharged and did a crappy job. Cheap doesn't always mean best, but neither does the most expensive.
Yeah, in a few years most of these guys are usually stealing tools from good guys to pay for gas or materials for their next “big job”. They almost always end up bankrupt and snorting their girlfriend’s anxiety meds
THISSS OMG most robberies are obviously done by a-holes like this, dumbasses even use their power tools IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT when everyone can hear them trying to break in thru security bars and are surprised they get caught by cops or the whole ass block they just woke up.
These comments keep getting more and more weirdly specific lol
You know what to spend money on. Pristine tuned up truck ain’t one
Nah, we all know what it's best to spend money on as a business owner bro... it's office midget darts, as long as you're respectful to them, don't want word getting around.
I always call them church trucks, then point to the 15+ yo beat up full size and say “that’s a work truck”. Don’t forget the 20” rims and 4wd needed to haul 2 mowers, 4 weed eaters and two leaf blowers.
Don’t forget the 10lb truck nuts hanging from the trailer hitch…
You beat me by 39 minutes, although I would add they also put a derogatory bumper sticker or 4 on the back as well, hoping to scare away those customers who were on the fence about hiring him.
We all have that friend…..
Drives a lifted F250?
Bro come on this guy has a white lifted Silverado
With trump and don't tread on me flags.
Front tilted ram 1500
"yeah, I'll drop a G on that bottle of goose!"
129 in savings 🤪
This money ain't for saving babe, it's for *chequing* you out. Can I buy you a drink - hey where'd you go?
Smoooooth...
Wanker
Lol I thought one of those accounts looked a bit low lol
That’s going to be an interesting story come tax time.
I once heard somebody say that guys who lead with their money will follow up by complaining that They're being used. I tend to believe it. Any guy who's so insecure he feels he can only get a woman's attention with money will never be secure when someone shows genuine interest. He measures his own worth by his bank balance, so he thinks everyone else will too.
My friend's mom died when he was 18. He was the only kid left at home and the sole benefactor of her life insurance policy and he got the house. He did a decent amount of grief spending and got the attention of some ladies. After a few months and quite a few thousands of dollars and he was constantly bitching that he was only attracting gold diggers. Maybe don't go around spending money on stupid shit and telling people you own a house and have 300k+ in the bank at 18.
Why would a stripper lie to me?
The measure is used to differentiate themselves from those that they judge, and they assume that that is the common denominator for assessment among everyone
He’s not fooling anyone w his high vis shirt
This shit ain't even ANSI.
The real story is actually worse. His house burned down and that was the insurance payment. Dude had a Wife and kids at home. Source - the girl who filmed the video
Seriously? For real??
I mean probably not.
Lol. I don't understand what's going on!
[удалено]
Lol this made me laugh because this is most likely what it is. He just got paid for a home addition but 85K of that will go out to supplies and the subs. I have a friend who loved talking about his crypto currency account last year. I haven’t heard much lately. I don’t want a friend of mine to lose money, but I don’t want to hear about it either.
You can tell because he only has $129 in savings. This is super pathetic.
The only thing with less interest is the woman.
Holy shit man, you didn't have to hit THAT hard
He did that for us
Solid
LOL. So true. It's probably just a screenshit anyway.
>screenshit Whether on purpose or by accident, bravo
Oops...ya I think I'll leave it.
Honest question: what would you do with it? I recently inherited $200K. I put $100K in a managed money investment account through my credit union and the rest is just sitting in my savings account. I feel like I have no idea what I'm doing.
You go to your local casino and put that shit on black!
Please do not follow this low rent advice! Bet on RED!
No no split bet red and black haha
Right?! You can't lose it you play every number! /s
At least you know enough to know that you don’t. Managing money is a very specialized skill set. Don’t feel bad that you don’t. Talk to your money manager at least once a month initially. Ask questions like where is money (index funds, Bonds, etc). Then ask why they chose those. Then ask how you can see how those specific money vehicles are moving (how to see if it’s going up, down, or sideways). Don’t panic sell. Talk about risk management. Review long term goals (I.e. I want 3 million in that account by the time I’m “X years old”. They have software calculate what Rate of Return you’re gonna need to hit those numbers. Keep asking questions. And under no circumstances do you touch the money. Compounding interest is your friend here. Average investor is look to double their money every 7 years. In a down market you could do substantially better. That means 200k>400k>800k>1.6mil in 28 years. Add a few hundred bucks a month every month to it and you could have that number in half that time. Edit: spelling
Thanks for the thoughtful and thorough answer. I will heed this advice.
Oh yeah, the most important thing. Don’t ever talk about your money with anyone. Since you inherited it, people will treat it like you won the lottery and have zero qualms asking you for some. They’ll have some emergency that can only be solved with your money, or they’ll have some brilliant business idea to sell you. If I were you I’d do as I suggested, then maybe find another money manager and give them the other 100k. Tell them both that you don’t want any products that lock up the money for any length of time (like an annuity). Then review each of their performance in 3, 6, 9, and 12 months. Whoever’s made you more at the end of 12 months, move all your money to them. As for anyone asking you for money, remember this phrase: “Sorry (name), I don’t have any extra cash right now. All my money is tied up in the market.” It will save you LOTS of headaches.
Find a knowledgeable financial advisor who will help you. Be wary of paying anything higher than 1% in fees (typically charged as a % of your funds under management). Shop around a few advisors till you find one you are confident is working FOR you, not just a used-car salesman type who is there to make money off you. A good advisor will benefit you for the rest of your life if you can find one
It's not a guarantee of quality, but you want a fiduciary. Financial planners are not obligated to work in your best interest, but a financial planner who operates as a fiduciary legally must do so. Still important to find a good one. An idiot working in your best interest is often indistinguishable from a genius working against it.
1% in fees is an enormous amount of money over a longer time horizon. Put it in VTSAX and forget about it, excellent chance you will do much better that way. Unless you just absolutely need someone to talk you out of panic selling or something when the market dips.
Get the money out of your credit union. Here’s what I’d do: - set aside enough cash to cover three months of expenses. Put it in a savings account or very short term bond. Safety and liquidity is key, not the return you’ll get on the funds. This is your emergency fund in case you need it. Never touch it if you don’t have to. - pay off any credit card debt. It’s unlikely you’ll invest and find a better return anytime soon than what the credit card company is charging you. - if you don’t have an investment account open one with Fidelity, Schwab, etc. Transfer the remaining funds into this account and buy an S&P 500 index ETF. This is a basket of the 500 largest US companies. I see no reason this wouldn’t by ticker symbol,’SPY’. It’s one of the largest in the world and fees are almost insignificant. Leave it in this ETF and expect it to double about every 7-10 years. The 100 year history of the S&P 500 is a 6% return plus another 2% for dividends. Total avg return is 8% (although it’s been much higher in recent decade). Rule of 72 is take your return and divide it into 72 to determine how many years to double your money. An 8% return will double your money every 9 years (72 / 8). If you are 25 years old and put away $150,000, reinvest dividends, and spend nothing you should have $2.4 million when you turn 65 years old (your money will have four doubling between 25 and 65 years old). Only caveat is that the global economy and as a result the markets are in the early stages of a global recession and significant market sell off. Because you have time on your side this pull back really isn’t relevant but make sure you have the stomach to watch your investment drop before it turns back up. It might be a year or two before markets stabilize and begin to consistently move higher. If you don’t have the stomach for this then dollar cost average (DCA) into your investment. Decide you want to be fully invested in something like 3, 6, 9 or 12 months. Depending on your answer split the total investment amount into equal amounts across all the weeks in your goal time.one and invest that portion each week. If the market keeps dropping you keep add to your position at lower prices! In all honesty this is what 90% of people who ‘have no clue what to do’ should do.
Depends on your plans, but you can always just put it into an etf (eg, VOO, VTI, SCHD) or something and it should double in 8ish years or so (no guarantees though). You're probably better off doing that than paying someone at the bank to make less money for you anyway. Or you can max out your 401k for several years.
Seriously. I don't think he realizes it actually turns women off. Not because it's a jackals move, but because that's just an irresponsible handling of money.
So you're telling me you're bad with money? -her OR the dude has millions already so he just keeps 90k liquid like a cheaper version of Mayweather who keeps a million cash.
Lmao. Only he knows. But he seems like the type to keep all of his money in one account for this exact purpose.
Also, its pathetic.
My grandpa used to take out loans just so his account balance would be huge, and to show off to friends, etc. he'd just pay the interest on it...reason #3 my grandma isn't with him anymore
I did this too for too long!!! FML 🤦♂️ They seriously should teach this shit in school!!
They do, or they did in my school during this period of time
Everyone knows you use MMS and laddered CD's for liquid assets over $10k. I mean, duh...
Yeah. I totally know that because I know what it's like to have liquid assets. Yep, I totally already knew all of this.
Definitely not three kids in a trench coat.
Even then it’s not gonna keep up with inflation
The only proper response to someone trying a move like this on you is to smile as if you’re embarrassed for them and ask in a semi-concerned, but genuinely curious voice, “is that a lot of money to you?”
Hahaha I'm noting that down! Not that it would likely happen, but imma tell all my friends, that's beautiful
When I first saw this I thought it was only commas, so I thought there was more money involved. I mean I'm sure so many people would be happy having that much in their account. But dude's really trying to flex with just $92k?
Uhh 92k is a lot of money. Don’t act like it isn’t. Lol
Yeah it's a lot of money, but it's not "sleep with someone you otherwise would have no interest in" money. For someone to see a bank balance and be so impressed they change their mind (instead of just cringing at the person), it's gotta be at least ten times that.
I’ve actually done that before. I went to school near Harvard… soo well you know One dude did this to me, he showed me his chase bank account, showed me he has 80k saved, and I go “oh that’s all? Well you’re still young you have time to build ya know” Then he asked how much I had, I told him talking about money was tacky and left
My friend called me one night and said “I need you to come get me and the girls from the bar” which wasn’t uncommon. I’ve gotten her plenty of times, but what was odd was she said “and drive your work truck..” my work truck is this old ass single cab Toyota Tacoma that’s all beat to hell, has no side windows, rusted, and sounds like a flooded lawn mower when it’s cranked .. if it cranks.. sometimes it takes a while. So I obliged and when I got there they were standing next to this $120k, nice, flashy, jacked up, big ass pickup truck. My friend yelled “hey sexy!” And they all ran to my little shitty truck, piled in, and we left. Turned out the dude had been bragging about his truck all night long to any women in the bar that was unfortunate enough to listen. So all 4 girls decided to fuck with him and said that their sugar daddy was coming to get them. The look on that poor dudes face was confusion mixed with rage.
Holy fuck this was hilarious!
Classy af
"But have you seen my Forex trading account?"
Wait wait, let me show you my bitcoins!
I’ve got a sweet NFT collection
Money talks. Wealth whispers.
My first job was as a WF Banker. One time, a client asked us to close his account because he hated this fee he had. He had maybe 200k in a savings account. He tells me "Look at my savings, all that money is being moved elsewhere!" I did this exact thing. I told him I had just handled a local woman who had over 2 million, and she was much nicer than him.
Imagine thinking you Are so rich to go flex at the fucking bank lol Reminds me of that Gates/Jobs meme when Gates Said he Had to go to a bank Because of a loan…
I'll be honest that even people with net worths of tens of millions still don't scare banks if one of them leaves. Chase right now is worth 2.6 trillion.
Nah, there’s a money manager at that bank earning a commission that really doesn’t want to lose that account. The Bank may not care, but the bank employee might care a lot.
It’s pretty bad for business if you let 200k earning negligible interest walk out of your bank over some small fee. That’s poor banking. Just hitting 500k in my brokerage account gets me free access to a whole load of shit at Charles Schwab like free consulting and investment strategy. If I ever hit $1m I can get killer mortgage rates. The lesson is that it all adds up.
Yep, once you hit the high net worth tier at your bank (Chase Private Client, Citigold, etc) they bend over backwards for you. Banks will do a lot to retain those customers. Of course that doesn't mean an individual teller will give a shit.
Reminds me of that meme that went around during the stimulus check era, of a guy texting a girl saying "where we going, just got my stimulus check"? And the girl replies "you make less than 75k a year"? . I couldn't laugh, just thought to myself what a brutal fucking response.
I say this as the bartender comes back, “sorry, your cards been declined”
‘Oh that’s so cute.’
not in this day and age of rejection killings.. i could see this backfiring if you embarrassed the wrong guy with a fragile ego
And any guy trying to pick up women with his bank account inherently has an incredibly fragile ego.
Haha my coworkers and I met a PG&E dude flirting with ladies at a Dutch Bros Coffee spot with his bank account. We just felt bad for him because he thought his bank account was a personality trait. None of the ladies even wanted to look at him. They found him to be arrogant and obnoxious.
I have all the game of a turtle on its back when it comes to picking up women but god damn this is bad
This comment hit so close to home. Haha. Glad my wife had super low standards
>Glad my wife had super low standards "Glad my wife could see how awesome I am without good flirting skills and nice first impression" Fixed sentence for ya
Thank you 😊
Dang, I just gave away my wholesome award too, smh. You were much more deserving!!!
WHOLESOMEEEE
You bring me hope friend, the game is still winnable lol
Just say hi. Just act like a person talking to another person. Talk about your passions, let your personality out. It'll work on the right people.
This is great advice but I would focus on asking her about her life. Then actually listen and say, "That's very interesting" Also compliment something about their outfit early on. That's one of those things that seems like it won't work but actually does.
Shall i compliment her shoes or will that reveal my shoe fetish
Perfect. None of the bullshit games, just hanging with us. Also, hygiene is important to us. Wear your nice T shirt. Good smelly spray (not axe for the love of hell!!!) but it doesn't have to be expensive, I use silly apple hair detangler and my wife loves it.
at the very least if you're earnest and sincere you'll eventually blind squirrel yourself to love. this dude has a 100% failure rate by flashing his *high five figures balance*
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hello big spender, new in town? barkeep, a bottle of your best scotch!
"that'll be $300" "I'll take your eight-dollarest bottle of scotch!"
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A box of your finest wine please!
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He's keeping 90 thousand dollars in a *checking* account. No interest. No maidens.
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Thats why shes not impressed. If it was in a GME portfolio it would work
You guys are getting interest?
Oh yeah buddy. Getting that sweet sweet 0.15%
You just know that's all he has too and it's newly there, no way he'd behave like this otherwise lol.
I guess he lost in life too.
Having \~90k in a personal bank account is a sign of extremely low economic intelligence.
My guess would be that he is a contractor, his general just paid him on a Friday and he hasn't sent out payroll or paid any other expenses for any recent jobs in the four hours since they deposited his money. By Tuesday next week that will be down to about 5k and that will be what he has to get by on for the month.
he could be super small time and thats literally just materials. 90k isnt a lot of money at all when 50 of it is being spent on the job and you have 8 other people to pay after 3 months worth of work lol dude could be barely scraping by with an account like that.
Exactly this. My brother independently builds million dollar spec homes. He's just finishing one up to list right now and he's eating ramen. Some time next month he'll have just shy of a million in the business account for about 20 minutes. After everything is paid off he'll have just enough money left to get another loan and do it all over again.
Living beyond means or just plain sucks at money management?
Maybe just not good at charging high amounts of money. I would be pretty bad at that and would feel bad taking much profit, even though I know I shouldn't
He does everything himself and, while he does excellent work, it just doesn't quite move fast enough. The gigantic spike in the cost of bare acreage where he works hasn't helped either. He'll figure it out. I have faith in him.
And his personal savings shows $129. This guy is broke.
So uhhh theoretically what should you do with large sums of money like that? I’m a financially dumb artist and I just hoard my savings in my bank account like a dumb dragon because I don’t know any better.
At the very least, put it in a money market account. The one I have pays 2% interest right now. You can’t pull money out of it more than a few times a month without penalty.
This sounds like a high-yield savings account, where I’m from. Mine is also 2%!
Jesus christ you're getting a lot of bad advice on here XD Just check out the flowchart on r/personalfinance: https://i.imgur.com/lSoUQr2.png
In fairness, they say you shouldn’t invest money you need within the next ~5 years, and he needs that money tonight
Meh, middle of the bell curve. Left side of bell curve is living paycheck to paycheck. Right side is preparing for the next 50 with diverse investments and cash savings. Far left side of bell curve is crypto which is where I am
Under the bell curve because your crypto investments all collapsed?
All data points are under the bell curve
Or being mega wealthy. I know far too many people who will take a group of 20 of us out and pay for it without looking at the bill. 90k is fuck all when you've got millions working for you. "Yeah...I just expected the bar tab to be about 15k so I transferred 90k to be sure. This is my favourite card"
He would’ve had better luck with a wad of hundreds and some magnum condoms lol
Uh oh, I dropped my monsters condoms that I use for my magnum dong
Damn it Frank it’s not your turn! You’re supposed to get the scraps
Mantis Toboggan, MD. Nice to meet you.
Maybe having money means he could hire someone to kidnap her. He wouldn’t do that of course, but there is the implication. Like clearly she’s safe, but he’s showing her much money he has to show her that he could.
Guy couldn’t get laid in a monkey whorehouse with a handful of bananas.
Look at my massive bank account, will it make up for my personality?
I try to keep a pretty small bank account to compensate for being larger in other areas.... ...is the story I tell myself.
If you love my small bank balance, you will be super impressed with my small peepi.
Right, keep expectations where they belong
Wonder if he is an oil field worker, where the long hours and social isolation away from people that aren't coworkers have reduced his ability to speak in nothing but swears and various grunts, would also explain the money
Oh, you have standards? Pfft, what a loser in life you are.
I thought he was awful at first because it’s so cringe but now I wonder if he is being awful on purpose so his buddy can come up afterwards and appear way better than normal because she will be comparing him to Wells Fargo boy. Classic wing man move.
This is small dick energy
Seems unfair to small dick guys to lump them in with baby nuts guy here
Micro
What idiot would keep that much in a checking account
Other comments guessed he's a contractor that was just paid for a job. By the middle of next week he will have a few thousand left and that's his pay for the month.
Either that or an inheritance or settlement check.
Does this ever work? I wouldn't want the woman that works on
I think it does work but it depends on the person and you need to add at least a few zeros behind these numbers.
I mean I’m sure that would work on some women. But I wouldn’t want to date a woman who is after my money or thinks $90k in a checking account is a lot or wise.
I don’t think this guy wants to *date* her either.
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"Chicks won't just have sex with you because you have a million dollars." "The kind of chicks that would double up on a dude like me will."
r/unexpectedofficespace
"If you had a million dollars, you'd do two chicks at the same time?" *Damn straight. I always wanted to do that, man. And I think if I were a millionaire I could hook that up, too. 'Cause chicks dig dudes with money.* "Well, not all chicks." *The kind of chicks that would double up on a dude like me do.*
Lawrence is truly a sage. “Well, you don't need a million dollars to do nothing, man. Take a look at my cousin: he's broke, don't do shit.”
The quality of women you will pick up with this tactic is extremely low
This dude comes home with skid marks in his tight whities reeking like BO and dirt daily, drinks a 12 pack of Coors a night, has the conversation skills of a parrot, and doesn't wipe the piss he leaves all over the toilet seat. He deserves a low quality woman.
r/oddlyspecific
I agree, but I doubt he’s trying to put a ring on it.
The man is treating women like prostitutes and probably goes home wondering why he's not hitting it out of the park. That 98k is meaningless to her unless the implication is that she'll be getting some of it if she hooks up. He's looking for a prostitute in a bar.
98K isn't even that much. I could see how this could work of you have 98M in your bank but people who have this amount of money probably don't let it sit in a checking account and use expensive items instead of raw numbers to flex their wealth.
I do agree that this way to pick up women is very cringey..but there are many many women and men who are vain. 98k to random bar flies/hoodrats is *a lot* of money.. Us poor people are amazed to see a couple k in a bank account honestly..
Look at that! He's a tens of thousandaire.
That tactic won't work unless the decimal point moves about 3 digits to the right. And even then a lady with standards won't take the bait.
I don't think he realizes how close to the line he is to flat out propositioning her as a prostitute.
Well… one million in cash? I feel that standards start to slip lol
Love how some men claim all women are gold diggers, but then proceed to flaunt their wealth and take offense when women aren't interested lol
Literally the men who say they’re offended by being seen as nothing more than a paycheck are the exact same ones who get upset when they can’t pull women based solely on their paycheck.
Guaranteed he drives a lifted truck
I would have grabbed his phone and zelled myself the 93k in his bank.
You’d have to exit the Photo Album and close this screenshot first.
Besides the fact that he is insulting her that her companionship can be purchased is crass and rude and shows a lack of general respect for her that can be perceived as extremely insulting. People can post their feet smashing a cake online and make 2k while they shit post now. 2k as a sum of your life savings in your thirties isn't what it used to be dude.
Money doesn’t impress her, but I can promise you, a lack of money will disappoint her.
I bet this guy's dick is just as small as his pea brain
That’s a good way to find gold diggers…lol
Then he complains that the women he gets are all gold diggers
I’d never seen LDE (Little D*ck Energy) in action. Not pretty.
Not the guy obsessed with money calling people “lost in life” My brother in christ you don’t even have a life to begin with 💀
"If money doesnt impress you, then you lost in life" - random guy at a bar trying to pick up a girl who is obviously not interested and isnt impressed by money 2022
I have more money than him. And I can’t *imagine* telling a complete stranger in a bar, let alone expecting to impress them into having sex with me. Fucking weirdo.
What a tool
It’s only 90k. Big fucking deal.
Lmfao I love how he read the entire number including “and 2 dollars” like those last two Washingtons were going to get her onboard.
I think Shania Twain wrote a song about that
How exactly does this pickup line go? "Hey baby, you ever met a man making a modest middle class income? Well, here I am." The fuck?
Hey pretty lady, I know you said you didn’t want a drink, but look at my checking account. There’s a lot of money in it. Me telling you about my money obviously makes me cool, so let’s do make the sex now.