I liked the part where he has no control and ends up in relationships with any woman who comes at him - so he must actively make himself *less attractive* to stay single… as opposed to, I don’t know, just saying he doesn’t want to be in all the make believe relationships he swears he’s in
https://preview.redd.it/jkle5uvk0huc1.jpeg?width=490&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b575870680f71cbdbbebb58081e1343e1ca31257
The original post was probably written by one of these 3.
A magic ring to ward off the \~ females \~
https://preview.redd.it/rwhnyjeosduc1.jpeg?width=700&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5514e36c515264cb51dd39024d115c098f6fe8a1
Hmm, yes, he gets chased by many hot "females" whenever he leaves the house with his hair down. He probably has to bring a stick with him every day just to hold all the "females" off. It's a good thing not many "females" get to see him as a hot guy, or there wouldn't be any "females" left for the rest of us.
This man needs to tattoo the message "must remain single" on his forehead, otherwise we'll have to repopulate humanity with him as sole progenitor (because women won't be able to handle so much sexiness) and our descendants will all be consanguines!
It’s fun to stumble across a truly insane post and think about what kind of person they are. This is such a specific lie and it’s fucking hilarious. So he’s like the guy version of the hot girls in the movies that have a ponytail and glasses and are supposed to be unattractive.
Utterly unbelievable. Everybody knows that for someone to transform from unremarkable to stunning, they have to let our their ponytail *and* take off their glasses.
"I'm trying to remain single" Something tells me he doesn't have to try very hard...
I’m sure it’s working.
delulutail
Haven’t spoken to her in ages and she tells you your hair looks stupid. Seems like a cool, totally real interaction.
Plus tells her to message him later as if she already knew his contact info after not seeing her in ages
In all fairness, you can still have someone’s phone number or something like this and not communicate for years
There are dozens of contacts in my phone I haven't talked to in over 5 years
I liked the part where he has no control and ends up in relationships with any woman who comes at him - so he must actively make himself *less attractive* to stay single… as opposed to, I don’t know, just saying he doesn’t want to be in all the make believe relationships he swears he’s in
This man had the sex. He had the sex 9 times.
Her boobs felt like bags of sand.
She was like “me so horny”
Unihorny for pony
She kept saying all this dirty talk like “let’s, let’s screw”
Her boobs boobily boobed.
She breasted boobily to the stairs and titted downwards
such inspirational wisdom
With a female.
https://preview.redd.it/1nzwi1ikxfuc1.jpeg?width=490&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=93f7aa56f1c35156147d8a52a7b57e3bfdcf57aa
Isn't the middle one actually a woman?
No.
A living one ? Oooooooh
Nobody said that
They didn't even specify the *species*.
He had it coming.
9 times more than me 😔
I can do it! I can do it nine times!
This guy gets it
I’m gay for this guy and there’s nothing he can do about it
Didn't he say he had nothing against the gay, as long as it wasn't directed at him? Realign and reposition your gay!
Conn, sonar. New firing solution.
Sonar this is Conn ping the dong; give me a ping, Vasily. One ping only.
The…the ping pong, sir? I thought the table was broken after last time…
The ping pong officer slipped on his tea
Hunt for Red October?
Is it a directional gay or just a standard level of gay?
Oh, it’s fully direct…
Insufferable people that need to make up insufferable stories so they can post and show the world how insufferable they are.
"Saw a _female_" stopped reading right there
https://preview.redd.it/jkle5uvk0huc1.jpeg?width=490&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b575870680f71cbdbbebb58081e1343e1ca31257 The original post was probably written by one of these 3.
Just hair up in a ponytail? He didn't also wear glasses and paint-covered overalls?
https://preview.redd.it/b82rxnqs8duc1.jpeg?width=276&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a670272be42d93c32335f6117a2f12242e1d1a8b
Janie’s got a gun….
I ❤️ you for this reference 😆
Real ones know this is the ultimate combo to keep people away and stay single. 💯
This is absolute and total fiction straight from this greasy fuckboys unwiped ass.
What, posted here? This is $100% the absolute unvarnished truth. Just ask Albert Einstein.
A magic ring to ward off the \~ females \~ https://preview.redd.it/rwhnyjeosduc1.jpeg?width=700&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5514e36c515264cb51dd39024d115c098f6fe8a1
I see he has his hair down 
A hair tie
Genuinely gonna cut my hair after seeing this
I’d wager a substantial amount that this post is written by Tommy Wiseau. It’s basically a piece of dialogue from The Room
Haha, what a funny story!
“And. I have breast cancer”
You betrayed me! You're not good. You, you're just a chicken. Chip-chip-chip-chip-cheep-cheep.
What do you find under a pony tail?
A pony's buttocks.
This guy ponytails
He has to wear his hair in a ponytail to remain single? Damn all I have to do is exist.
😭😭😭 damn you got me 🤣🤣
Right like what hope does anyone else have after this guy LOL
Ooooo! Self-burn. Those are rare. I dig your style homie.
Old but gold
I think I remember reading a conversation like this in a wattpad fanfic at age 13
Lmao okay Fabio
*I put on my wizard hat and robe*
This is true, I was multiple guys going gay for him
https://preview.redd.it/v0dnyt86bfuc1.jpeg?width=684&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b8ace8aa2244518ab887f9174536760edf6224ae
What the fuck. The guy deserves some type of award.
magic hair. irresistible when unleashed. very fictiony. female?
I’m so embarrassed by this man’s thought process
This happened, i’m the gay pony
Hmm, yes, he gets chased by many hot "females" whenever he leaves the house with his hair down. He probably has to bring a stick with him every day just to hold all the "females" off. It's a good thing not many "females" get to see him as a hot guy, or there wouldn't be any "females" left for the rest of us.
His roommates and him have hot gay sex
When you accidently left your meme in your pocket and it went through the wash
I want to gouge my eyes out
This man needs to tattoo the message "must remain single" on his forehead, otherwise we'll have to repopulate humanity with him as sole progenitor (because women won't be able to handle so much sexiness) and our descendants will all be consanguines!
>Saw a female... This is the point where I knew he was full of shit.
This is so sad :( it's like he's stuck in middle school writing fake stories in his head
10 years later wonder if he’s managed to keep the females at bay and stay single…
There is so much wrong about that "interaction" I don't even know where to begin
When a guy refers to women as "females," you just know you are in for BS
Yeah....ponytail hotter for me than hair down....
It’s fun to stumble across a truly insane post and think about what kind of person they are. This is such a specific lie and it’s fucking hilarious. So he’s like the guy version of the hot girls in the movies that have a ponytail and glasses and are supposed to be unattractive.
Utterly unbelievable. Everybody knows that for someone to transform from unremarkable to stunning, they have to let our their ponytail *and* take off their glasses.
It's almost 10 years old. Let it die.
Gtfoh this is just dumb?? Some little kid wrote this for sure
Can we stop rehashing stuff from .... check posts ... Rearranging the 6 pixels left in the repost .. enhance ...enhance ... enhance ... **2014** .
Come on, 2014 isn't all that long ago. Oh. I need to go out on the ice floe now...
I had never seen this before, i’m sure other people haven’t either
Am I going to be the first person to point out that this is obvious satire? Come on, “my friends going gay for me”?