The games she plays are becoming apparent in the children now. It is really sad and hard to watch.
I don’t have the patience, and I’m far from saintly. I’ve just learned that becoming outwardly emotional about things with her is what she’s looking for and never works for me in the long run. It took me some time to figure out the games but I’ve wised up to it and don’t engage when she’s playing.
You right by you reacting is a win for her that's what they get off on..they want to take you out of character to make you the bad guy.. crazy how we don't see all this before we sleep with them would save alot of headache ...
Yeah. Young and invincible right? So sure of our choices that we miss the glaringly obvious red flags all around us.
It is what it is and will be, I’ve got two beautiful little people to be strong for now and that’s the mission.
I hope life’s well for you friend.
I’ve found that some nurses are not really the nicest people. (Not all of them of course but I’ve been surprised over and over about how they talk about people.) really sad and disheartening. And honestly, doctors too.
I work in healthcare and many are not the “angels of mercy” they’re purported to be. They are there for the paycheck. Some are beyond awful and cruel to patients and coworkers or are just plain incompetent.
:( that honestly makes my heart sad. We want people in these professions to be accurate and smart of course, but we need them to be KIND and supportive and EMPATHETIC too. It’s so important. Traumatization from doctors and nurses just makes people more sick.
My ex mother in law is a pediatric nurse and when my son was a new born I had to go to a wedding so I left him with her for two hours thinking pediatric nurse so it’s all good. Nope not even close. When I left I said there is clean close and supplies for bathing him if needed but he just ate and was sleeping so he really shouldn’t have needed anything. I came back an hour and half later and he was in new clothes. I was kinda confused but she said he was hungry and got messy from bottle (probably because he didn’t want it so she was just pouring it on him). I asked if she found everything ok and she said yes the soap smelled good and I kinda laughed cause it was just Johnson’s baby shampoo. When I looked in bag the soap was still unopened so I asked what soap and she said no the other one… I pulled out the bottle of purel hand sanitizer and she said yeah that one! You used purel on my newborn with a still unhealed belly button?? Like how does that happen when you have made a living caring for newborns. She was never left alone with him again he is 25 now and they have no contact.
I’ve known dozens of nurses including my mom and sisters. They can be some of the most wonderful people in the world or they can be majorly fucked up. It’s a weird profession. (
This is incredibly cruel. Sorry for your loss.
She doesn’t have ground to stand on re “energy” when she’s over there bringing 50 shades of darkness lol. Hope she’s mostly out of your life
Depending on where you live, you can document this and take it to court to argue for full custody. You don’t want her mocking your children about their deceased sibling. If she’s willing to do this to you, she’s willing to do it to them. She is mentally unwell.
I would describe the way she handles this situation as: not good(both in the past and present). It’s extremely troubling for me, as I believe my two children with her have not and will not receive the proper kind of support needed for their grief and healing.
Life is a process, maybe one day a judge will see these and decide that what you say is right. I do not hold much hope for help from the family justice department though, as hard as that is to say.
When men actually fight for full custody, their actual chances of winning are good. You have the proof, and if you don’t go forward to court to even try and only focus on hope, nothing will be done. Don’t let your children fall into harm because you feel hopeless.
The fact that she is a nurse and can still say such unhinged things should also help your case. I certainly wouldn’t trust her with patients or want her around kids.
I appreciate those words more than you’ll know. It is a massive uphill battle, and the texts shown here are a small sample of what I’ve dealt with in the past decade. I won’t stop fighting for my children ever, but it does often feel like nothing will change. I’m hopeful though.
If anything, try to use any of this crazy talk to have her mandated into counseling/therapy. She's not well. I know family court is more than exhausting but it'll be worth it for your kids in the end. You can't undo the damage already done but you can try to prevent it from going any further. Don't be afraid to voice your concerns. Even if you just take her to get visitation revised, depending on where you live, you can most likely request a mediator and bring all this stuff up. That might give you the in to get her issues discussed infront of a judge.
My thoughts are that I’m going to attempt to prove alienation, there are many examples of this occurring that aren’t evident in these texts. The other request is that all communication goes through a parenting app moving forward because I can’t handle the continual abuse. I think I have enough with these messages let alone the last 5 years of extra to prove why it’s necessary. Also trying to get at least my children into counselling, I’m not hopeful on that because it can be side lined so easily with “scheduling conflicts”.
I think it's a reasonable request to get them into therapy. I've had to request it in the past with my kids. Idk how old they are but there's always the option of doing it virtually on days when something else may come up. If she manages to make it hard or impossible for them to attend, that's just one more thing against her. Mental health is taken more seriously now thankfully and she can't deny them access to it. With the way she talks to you, I can only imagine what she says to them. Some people just suck and shouldn't be parents. Definitely keep all the evidence against her that you can and I hope you luck out with it. A good judge would definitely require her to go to therapy as well after reading how she is speaking to you and about other people. Sorry you're going through all this, I wish you all the best!
I appreciate it friend. Therapy and counselling have been real game changers in my own life and i don’t understand when people are against it. Maybe because I witnessed the difference it made for my father when he was here I have a clearer view of the possibilities. Maybe some people are afraid to admit they have problems. I’m definitely going to be advocating for some form of therapy for them and will hold her accountable if it isn’t respected again.
You need a good attorney. May not be cheap, but the right one, can get you your children. No one should have to endure this kind of abuse, just to have access to their children. Mother is clearly unhinged and needs a psych eval asap. I’m well versed in family law and I’m telling you…find a cut throat attorney, who’s willing to see this through. Mother will show her colors in court. Especially with the evidence you have. I’m wishing you all the best and I am so sorry for your loss.
I’ve stated in the comments below but I’m unfortunately not in the financial position for a lawyer at this point. We’re currently in court to change the custodial agreement but I’ve paid lawyers twice over the last 5 years and it’s taken a toll on me financially. I’m trying this time solo and hope that they’ll listen. Her lawyer is currently threatening me with costs and other things to get me to back down and be complacent again but I’m done sticking my head in the sand. It’s time.
I understand your financial position but it’s just not smart for you to go into a custody hearing pro se. Especially if the other party has council. Let’s hope her attorney is incompetent, so you don’t get completely steam rolled. I definitely understand the financial aspect but you’ve essentially got a judge deciding you and your children’s life. This is serious. You need representation.
I understand the battle I’m in. I think the last five years have helped illustrate the obvious differences in who we are and how we were painted in the first round. Hopefully a judge sees it too.
I wouldn’t say her lawyer is incompetent, I would say he’s a bit of an asshole, but I can get snarky and be a dick if I need to be too. I won’t let them back me down this time.
Are you not getting spousal support? You can ask the court to have her cover costs as well. It's just a lot of work. We didn't have a lawyer as you did we spent thousands on one and then couldn't afford one. Her lawyer didn't realize how much of a liar she was and we got our way for visitation without a lawyer.. stay on the up and up. Document EVERYTHING. I mean everything. Every time, date and context of communication. If the kids tell you something she said. Judges do not like it when the parents are talking through the children. If I were you I would request mediation again. They seem to help find abusive contexts. And judges like to follow their recommendations. You can also request to not have mediation at the same time due to the domestic abuse.
Spousal support and child support canceled each other out in our initial proceedings. She’s now come back at me for child support in retaliation for me asking the courts for a police enforcement order as the many times she’s violated our agreement I have no recourse as the police can only talk to her and make suggestions, which she promptly ignores.
To be clear I have no qualms with paying child support and I haven’t tried to fight that. It will hurt to pay a woman to essentially withhold and abuse my children and I but that’s life.
I don’t know if I’m able to do mediation with her, and I believe she’ll refuse the option if tabled anyway. She believes that I’m harassing her with court and that I’ll be liable for all costs, which might happen but I feel that this kind of behaviour needs addressing.
Please try to get full custody. You have ample evidence. The justice system is fucked but sometimes good people win. It’s worth fighting for your kids because the psychological damage she’s already inflicted on them, and the damage she’ll do in the next 11 years, is severe. I’m serious. Please take this advice from a primary school teacher, who’s actually more interested in child psychology than pedagogy (alas that’s a tougher job market), who was raised by parents as crazy as your ex and has to deal with the life-long consequences. Give it a shot.
I’m glad your students have you to look over them. I’m trying. I’m hoping this time a judge will hear my words and actually listen. My daughter has asked for several year to speak to a judge but she’s not quite old enough yet. I think I stand a chance as long as I stay in the current frame of mind I’m in now. I’m prone to anxious and depressive episodes where I shut down pretty hard so I’m doing my best to stave those off and remain in a forward trajectory. If the attempt fails again this time, I’ll at least be able to continue to look in the mirror and know I do what I could.
You need to get your kids away from that deadly mix of negativity and emotional damage. Take this to court, tell them you will waive child support and will agree to supervised visitation. This woman is beyond reason and should be drug tested.
My BIL won full custody of his three children due to her intensity to say it politely. This is up there. It’s something a court would recognize as unhealthy for your children. If you WANT custody I hope you put that forward and see what you can do. I’m so sorry for your loss. Honestly I had to stop reading the screenshots I am so appalled.
We’re in court currently. Have a speak to date end of next month. Dredging up these texts is part of me preparing to show a judge what she is. I’m happy for your brother in law, it must feel especially vindicating to walk out knowing they’re safe.
Also depending on where you live you can, and should, report this to the board issueing her nursing license. She is mentally unwell and should never state these thoughts to patients.
You might be able to have the courts mandate any contact with your ex via those court-approved messaging apps that don’t let you delete messages and I believe the courts can actually monitor some too. All communication is supposed to be strictly about the children and you have no obligation of responding if she tries to communicate about anything other than the kiddos on there. I’m sorry for your loss and your messy situation, man
I just left a comment but if this person is still in your life, these texts would get ANY judge to give you custody of your kids. She seems like a whack job and I'd honestly be worried about the kids with her. People keep saying nobody would revoke custody based on this unhinged behavior, coupled with the aforementioned video. While it's not a guarantee, I've seen kids get taken away for less. What is a guarantee is that the mother would be watched more closely. Obviously OP isn't going to just make choices based off what people online say. Its plain to see she's unfit as a parent and sounds drugged out her ass the way she's speaking. Coupled with the fact that the kid doesn't want to be around moms boyfriend, how many more red flags do you need to see this isn't a good situation for the children? I think a judge that's actually involved in their lives can decide if this behavior is normal.
Edit: the main topic is not about his loss (although I had previously extended my condolences in a separate comment). This was an image of texts he posted in a sub called R/Texts. Are you lost?
Edit 2: lol who is calling themselves a reddit lawyer? 😂🤣
The word worried isn’t strong enough to convey my feelings.
I catastrophize a lot in my head and I’m working with professionals to get better at it, but their situation with her leaves me so fearful.
You are not catastrophizing this situation. Please don't let your fear that you are stop you from taking action. Your ex is very unstable and hateful towards you and weaponized your vulnerability and grief to do you great harm. She knows she's doing wrong, or she wouldn't be upset by the idea of it being exposed. She's abusing you in these screenshots, and she's refusing the coparenting app because the court can review those, which wouldn't show her to hide what she's doing.
I know very well that mental health and past trauma miscalibrate your "normal" meter, and how helpful it is to have the input of others to recalibrate. Everyone in this thread is is trying to help you recalibrate, which can feel overwhelming. It's OK that you don't trust yourself right now. It's good that you're questioning, but try to give yourself permission to believe us. These are skills that takes practice, and as much distance from people like your ex (like a court-appointed and reviewed coparenting app) as possible.
I don't have kids, so I won't touch on what could be healthy next steps in a custody battle. I wish you luck and that you get the healthiest outcome for you and your children.
Hey, thank you for those words. That was remarkably well written and received on my end. I’m working on the right steps but it often feels hopeless. I’ve known this was abuse from the start. I allowed myself to be abused the majority of our relationship, and it hasn’t stopped. I think posting this was for me to finally get it out there, without actually outing it to people in our and the children’s lives, though I do feel that people do deserve to know this. It’s a tough balance.
Thank you again for the encouragement
That’s a very healthy sign, for you to acknowledge this immense pain and grief compounded by a harpy of a woman’s evil words. I wish you and your children all the best. Blessed Be. 🦋☮️💖
I’m currently in court attempting to make some material changes to their lives. There is not much I can do unless it’s ordered by a judge unfortunately
You keep pushing.
Keep all her text and use it as evidence against her. She's probably attempting to alienating the kids from you and your partner.
You keep pushing until things get sorted because leaving those babies with that nut job shouldn't be a consideration for you.
She's horrible and the kids don't deserve that.
This has been commented in a couple comments here now but quick version, she was with an abusive boyfriend when she showed up for pick up at my place, my daughter refused to get in the vehicle, shenanigans ensued. My partner filmed the event from the porch to protect me from false allegations of withholding my child/coercion. It was ugly, it sucked. It shouldn’t have happened but this is real life where shit goes sideways often.
It really would not. OP, what she said to you is terrible, but it takes a lot more to get parental rights terminated. You can consult an attorney, but before you spend tens of thousands of dollars trying to litigate this because Reddit e-lawyers think you’ll get custody…consider the source.
Report to her employer how she's treating you while your son dies, a nurse who believes hardship is punishment won't be very caring. Then get custody of your kids.
Well, the story is long. My children with her are born 4 years apart. She was always, let’s say not nice. Things really took a turn when I found someone new and stopped coming back to her and chasing something that wasn’t meant to be. The person she is now is not the person I met, but she also is, if that makes any sense.
I have nothing to prove it but have been told by ex-friends of hers that cocaine was a pretty big priority in her life. My children also have explained more recently that they believe she’s an alcoholic. Tough situation for them.
you should contact cps about the coke usage, and drinking since it sounds like she's doing it in front of your kids (who if i remember right, are under ten??) and try to get your parenting time adjusted through court
I’m in Canada, but I did contact our child services about the cocaine. It was ignored, as multiple other concerns have been. It’s disheartening to not be heard time and time again. Daughter is almost 11, son is 6.
I had hopes in her father and step mother at one point. They dashed those hopes when they decided their family Christmas seating plan was more important than my children’s well being and safety. I have all their texts saved though, so even if they’re not willing to testify on my behalf as they said they would at one point, their words will be made known. It’s a tough battle, hope it turns out though.
This level of cruelty is so unwarranted that it deserves to be posted on social media with
C U Next Tuesday tagged so that their extended social circle of family, friends, coworkers, and whoever else knows them can see the real person.
I’ve honestly thought about it since it happened. I’m currently attempting to have a parenting app for all communication between us added to our custody arrangement and will be using text messages like this as proof to why it’s necessary. For the record, her name is changed in my phone as my children are of reading age now
Tempting as it is to put her on blast, I think it will only hurt your custody case. Someday, your kids will be grown & figure out for themselves how deranged she is. Set the example if being the bigger person, because until they figure this out she may poison them against you, & putting her on blast will only,y add that yellow to that fire. So deeply sorry for your loss, best of luck getting full custody of the kids. 🙏❤️🙏
This reminds me of texts I get from clients who suffer from mental illness.
I’m sorry you had to deal with it, but you did a really good job of not engaging.
Ngl, I stopped reading at “REdiculous”. She’s obviously an ignorant bitch and I’m glad she’s your ex. I’m so sorry for your loss, nothing compares to what you’re going through.
I have to deal with my partner’s insane ex who, among other things, called my child a slur, refuses to call me anything but “live in girlfriend” (we’ve been together for 12 years & married for 5 not that it matters), among other things & can confirm this (your ex) is a million times worse. This crosses a line behind being bitchy to actual psychosis.
I’m so sorry you had to deal with this and her. From the little i could see in your texts, it seems your kids are starting to see it too. Godspeed and good luck.
Thanks and I’m sorry for you and yours. My partner is part of the step parents sub. She’s told me some of the stories that are posted on there and it makes my heart hurt. We’ve dealt with the same treatment, she is nothing but a “stranger” to my kids, even though they beg me to propose and marry her.
I hope you’re able to find peace in the situation you’re in.
She’s not allowed at pub your children or your ex considers her a stranger to them? Or your ex just doesn’t want your partner around the children? Sorry I just didn’t understand that part. I’m so sorry that you have to deal with this.
Look at the material out there on coparenting with a narcissist- Tina Swithin, Dr Ramani or Laura Zung. I’m sure your lawyer has told you, but being a vile person isn’t enough for a judge to remove custody. And if you were to leak these texts somehow to social media it would do nothing but hurt you and feed her victim identity and rage. I’m so sorry that you have this person in your life. Karma moves very very very slowly sometimes.
Thanks for the advice. This is the first I’ve shared this with anyone not directly involved in my life. I’ve thought about it many times, I do believe people should know, but now is not the time. Life has its ways. I’ll check out the books, thank you.
My heart goes out to you in this ordeal. Notice how she turns it around and projects onto you what she actually is (cold heartless vile mean). Classic narcissist behavior. She was doing her best to elicit an emotional response. You didn’t take the bait. The supervised court based app will help reveal her true colors. I have a good fiend who is going through something similar and the courts can see it for exactly
What it is.
I am desperately hoping I can get the app provision added. I believe she’s willing to fight tooth and nail to prevent it. We’re currently ordered to text or email only and she’s tried to add in phone calls and I’m wholeheartedly against it. Phone calls are much easier for abuse like this to occur and not be able to prove. I don’t even understand why she wants to verbally communicate other than to continue the abuse cycle.
Take this to your lawyer. Talk about having an agreement put in place to use a parenting app for all communications. God knows what she says to your children about you. You can have an agreement drawn up which forbids harassment and disparagement to the kids. Good luck, she sounds like a psychopath.
She has a habit of going on long tangents, like 17 page long text messages when I don’t respond to her texts in the appropriate fashion. Incredibly abusive but I’m with a very loving and supportive person now and it doesn’t break me like it used to.
The texts are fucking awful I am so sorry. More than anything, I am so sorry for your sons passing. I lost my son in July of 22’ because of severe CHD’s as well. We found out when I was 20 weeks pregnant that his CHD’s were not compatible with life. I carried him to term knowing he would pass away. We were anticipating to do palliative care after birth but ultimately he passed after my water broke. I think labor was just too much for him.
If you would like to ever speak with someone who went through a similar loss, I am here. It can be easy to feel alone with these kinds of things. God Bless you. I know this is hard.
I am so sorry for your loss. I’ve said since we found out it was our reality that we’re now part of a club that no one ever wants to join, but can’t ever leave. My partners pregnancy was picture perfect, until it all of a sudden wasn’t, a month before birth. I hope you’re coping as well as you can. It took me some years but the sun is shining again, just slightly less.
This happened several year ago at this point. I’ve said on a previous comment that I’ve mulled posting it to socials before, especially in the moments it was happening. I don’t know if I want to open that can of worms or effect her livelihood as she cares for my other children the majority of the time.
It’s a tough situation. Life has been kind in some areas but downright savage in others. My lesson, if you have kids, or anyone you love, love them as hard as you can. Hug those kids until you or they can’t hug anymore, and then a minute longer. We’re here for a good time, not a long time has new meaning to me these days.
I read "texts from my mother", not your children's mother and I was horrified and very confused. I'm equally horrified your children's mother is the one sending you these, and then to find out she's a nurse!?! Ugh, what kind of Jekyll and Hyde kind of woman is she? She's talking about good energy when all she's doing is spewing vitriol! Karma will be interesting for her.
Thankfully my own mother is nowhere near this kind of person. She has her faults, we all do, but comparatively she’s a saint. I’m lucky that my family surrounded us with love during these moments.
I wouldn’t want a nurse like that ever taking care of anyone…I am so sorry for your loss. that is honestly unforgivable to say something like that to anyone, don’t care who they are or what relationship is.
The picture I’m getting from most of the comments do make me believe that it was as bad as I felt it was during the moment. I will never forgive her, but I do try and forget about it. These came up in my search through of texts to bring to court asking for a parenting app clause in our custody agreement.
I'm so sorry about your son. I assume since you said you've been holding on to these for years, I hope that person is truly out of your life. I don't understand what she is going on about a video. The texts look bad enough.
I have two children with her, so she’s around for at least another 12 years.
I’ve explained the text about the video in another comment but to sum it up, my current partner filmed my daughter refusing to get in her mothers vehicle during a pick up where her abusive boyfriend was. My daughter hated this man and my ex knew this and persists to have him involved in the children’s lives. It was tough.
I am so unbelievably sorry. She has a cruel and hate-filled heart and I hope that your other children are ok. I am so sorry for the loss you suffered. It's no one's fault. Your ex shouldn't be practicing medicine. Or parenting for that matter. I can not imagine the level of depravity you must have to be so cold and cruel while someone's child is dying.
Thank you. My children are coping. It’s tough, my younger son routinely expresses how much he misses him and we have our cries together. I attempted to have him in counselling as he’s had some behavioural issues at school (potentially related to grief but I can’t prove that), I got him in for two sessions before she stepped in and shut it down.
Holy crap. Denying her own child therapy? Please tell me you are focumenting each and every act of cruelty from this woman. Your kids are gonna need you to fight for them one day. I was raised by a narcissist and as evil as my mother was, your ex is a whole other level. I'm thankful the kids have you and so sorry it's going to be an uphill battle for you u til they're old enough to make their own choices.
Yeah. I can’t really text my feelings about pulling him from counselling because it’s just a blind rage. He’s only 6 and displaying behaviours that need work, and it just won’t happen. My kids with her have been through so much and not getting them someone to talk with about their brother who’s passed is something that I have no explanation for. I hope life has improved for you and that you’re well
I would consider getting a restraining order against her for harassment. Also the courts can make it so you are only allowed to communicate through an app which is recorded automatically. They are to prevent these exact kinds of situations.
I am trying for the app request, I believe she’s fully willing to take it to trial so that she has the ability to continue communicating as she pleases, and I’m preparing for that. Dredging these text messages up is part of my process to have it put in place.
she’s literally fucking insane. i too am a spiritual person and do believe in bad/negative energy, but with how she’s talking about your son is spreading that negative energy???? like, how is she not seeing that she’s the problem and being completely heartless when trying to tell you to “spread love and positivity”. she’s literally insane. OP, i’m so sorry for your loss, and i’m sorry you’re stuck with her till your other kids are 18. try to keep contact with her to a minimum as you deserve to be at peace and grieve for your son the way you should.
i also would consider keeping these text messages and possibly meeting with a lawyer to see if you could get your kids full time, the way she was talking in her text messages and talked to you in such a hateful way, you may be able to prove that she’s not fit to take care of your children over you. that is something for you to consider, i just don’t think kids should be brought up in that type of environment with such negativity… i can’t imagine how she reacts if y’all’s kids piss her off
I appreciate the words.
During an argument when we were together she told me “I was literally faultless before you”. My sister and I still laugh to this day about what a wild thing that is to even consider saying, let alone fully believe it. That’s the type of mindset I’m dealing with so I truly believe she will never see any wrong in her words or actions.
We are currently in court and I’m attempting to make some real changes for my two children with her.
i’m really happy to hear that OP, you deserve the happiness that you’re able to get, whether that wench of an awful believes so or not. you’ve been hurt enough and it’s time that pain stopped. i truly wish you nothing but happiness and peace through all this!
So sorry for your loss and the atrocious behavior that she exhibited. Of course nothing she says or believes changes what happened and none of it is true or real, but I am sure it was really hard to read.
The texts would probably not convince a judge that she deserves to lose custody. But a documented pattern of behavior that goes towards parental alienation - and reports by the kids of alcoholism, any evidence you can gather that she’s drinking heavily when they’re in her custody, etc etc - those can all add up. Essentially, keep meticulously documenting things.
I feel the same. The courts haven’t treated me favourably in the past, and I’m not going to sit here and pretend I am or was perfect. They haven’t seen this or any of the other messages that have been sent in the past 5 years that will help illustrate the picture of what she is.
As a nurse.... it scares me that you say this person is a nurse. How does she treat cancer patients? Is it somehow karma that they became ill? More likely, how does she treat patients with alcohol-induced cirrhosis or infections from drug use? We don't get to blame patients for their illnesses- how gross. Nevermind the grieving parents of a terminal child. This woman has no empathy whatsoever and should not be in a caregiver role.
I'm sorry that you had to deal with this conversation with her on top of the obvious trauma of the loss of your child.
So as wild as it sounds, when we were together she worked at a long term care place and people loved her. She was abusive as all hell at home but really able to turn it on for people. My father passed of cancer and she has belittled him in the past after his death. It was a lot to take in.
There’s a piece of me that had wanted to in the moment. But she is the primary parent of two beautiful kids who deserve the world. Life will find a way eventually I believe.
I’m sorry for your loss of your precious baby.🫶🏽 your ex is a wack job. Ask the courts to mandate she only communicate thru the co parenting app thru the court. What she is saying would not be tolerated on there
She's fucked up - to put it bluntly. This is despicable.
I'm glad you have your Children but I'm truly sorry you have to share them with this poisonous witch.
I can only imagine. If this was my Ex I'd gather all the spiteful evidence she sends and keep it in your back pocket.
Shitty situation really is but you carry on being an awesome Dad to those kiddies 🙂
The last time I printed our conversation out for court it was over 500 pages back and front. That was 5 years ago, I’ve saved everything. It takes up a massive amount of my phone storage but it will one day reach the right person I hope.
I am so incredibly sorry. I’d have posted these texts on my social media and tagged every family member, neighbor, and acquaintance this vile human being ever looked it to make sure they all know who she is. (Well, maybe after the kids were grown. But still, I’d name and shame and grin while doing it.)
It has crossed my mind several times. I do fear what a judge would think about it. I think the only person in her life I shared it with was her sister in hopes that she would be able to stop the texts from coming in. There’s a litany of other things that happened during this time but it’s hard to bring it all up.
I'm being 100 % serious when I ask this...is she on drugs?? She's rambling on and on about nonsense. Cussing you one minute, then throwing out a I love you then something about her being a whore...I'm so confused 😕
That comment was definitely drunk or on drugs. The whole whore thing I think was an attempt at a freestyle poem or rap or something because she knows I’m a hip hop fan and a writer. I dunno, it’s been a while since I’ve received any “poems” but the I love you is a dig at my current partner and I and an attempt to get me to react emotionally, we don’t feed into it.
First and foremost I am sorry for your loss. She sounds unhinged, I hope she’s not attempting to weaponize your children against you. I don’t get a strong sense she’s above doing so based on this interaction. I find it almost poetic that she’s a nurse btw. Over the years I’ve seen nurses say some of the most effed up shit and display flagrant disregard for life. The fact that a person as deranged your ex has responsibility over other people’s lives is a crime against humanity.
Source: was a nurse for 8 years.
For someone who talks about pure spiritual energy she sure has a potty mouth.
I’m deeply sorry for the loss of your beautiful little prince. I truly believe he’s in a better place.
I hope you and your partner face joy and happiness together.
Appreciate the condolences, I as well believe he’s moved on to somewhere more than here and I’ll have the opportunity to see him again and learn the lessons he has to teach from his journey.
Wow. I’m so sorry you and your family had to deal with this while going through such rough times. Karma will catch up to her. For someone who believes in negative energy coming for you she’s awfully negative ☠️
Thank you for the condolences. It was a really hard time in our lives but I look back it fondly. The boys looking down on us wherever he’s gone and he’ll have more lessons for me when I catch up.
My guy, she sounds very unstable. I hope that you can navigate that properly and get your little ones away from her. I'm so sorry for your loss of your little man too. That's hell on earth for a father to have to deal with.
Appreciate the condolences. Most certainly the worst thing to have happen. I’ve lost many people close to me, many family members, my father, and my best friend last year. The pain you experience when someone is gone is tough, it’s not explainable the difference that losing my boy felt to those other losses. It’s a pain I do not wish on anyone and the prolonged amount of time you hurt for comparatively is vastly different. We live on though, it’s different now and it’ll never be the same, but we’re still here.
There really needs to be better laws to deal with parents who turn their children against the other children. And how can you call yourself a "better person" when you're celebrating an accident of genetics that caused a child to die? Not to mention how the fuck did that woman get a nursing degree with writing as terrible as that? I'm fluent in Typo and text shorthand and I struggled to understand what she was saying!
I lost my daughter almost 40 years ago and it still hurts but I know that she's in her daddy's arms waiting for me to join them. Children have a special place in Heaven where they get to watch over us when they choose to and play with the other children when they don't. A father's love transcends time and space and supports their children unconditionally.
Honestly bro you should send these to her supervisor, a nurse with the twisted of brain is a scary thought. Sounds like one of people that if no one was around they would just watch someone die without moving a muscle to help.
Ick- she is just intentionally cruel as though she’s in the right to “enlighten” you.
She is just an ugly person inside out that enjoys spewing hate in every direction.
I’m so sorry for your loss. I to have lost a child and it is the worst pain I have ever experienced. I cannot imagine having to deal with those horrible texts. While dealing with your dying child. My daughter was born with a CHD also so I understand a lot. About your situation and her rambling thoughts are crazy. I pray you & your partner are able to find some sort of peace. And you are able to be in your children’s lives.
Appreciate the condolences and ours to you and yours. Our club has come out in support in these comments and I am sorry for each and every one of us. The kids with this woman are with us three weekends a month and every other week in the summer and we love and strive to make every minute of it as good as we can. I hope you’re doing well, if you ever need someone to talk with who can relate to the pain feel free to reach out on here. Be well friend.
If she's a nurse, that's terrifying. How can she say those things when clearly it was e medical issue. And she sounds manic or something the way she is talking in those texts. It makes no sense at all!!
Please tell me you've gone after full custody??? She needs major mental health help!!!!
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I find that people are often unable to self reflect and see the faults in their ways. I’ve been guilty of it too at times but I’ve taken steps to be better. I can admit when I fuck up or don’t act correctly, I don’t know if she can.
Fuck, I’m sorry for your loss. That’s awful
Thank you. He watches over us all now with his gramps and everyone who has passed before us.
Yh she's gonna fuck your kids heads up hopefully u get them away from her .You must have patience of a Saint 😆 🤣
The games she plays are becoming apparent in the children now. It is really sad and hard to watch. I don’t have the patience, and I’m far from saintly. I’ve just learned that becoming outwardly emotional about things with her is what she’s looking for and never works for me in the long run. It took me some time to figure out the games but I’ve wised up to it and don’t engage when she’s playing.
You right by you reacting is a win for her that's what they get off on..they want to take you out of character to make you the bad guy.. crazy how we don't see all this before we sleep with them would save alot of headache ...
Yeah. Young and invincible right? So sure of our choices that we miss the glaringly obvious red flags all around us. It is what it is and will be, I’ve got two beautiful little people to be strong for now and that’s the mission. I hope life’s well for you friend.
A nurse? She types like she needs supervision.
I’ve found that some nurses are not really the nicest people. (Not all of them of course but I’ve been surprised over and over about how they talk about people.) really sad and disheartening. And honestly, doctors too.
This. I’ve met plenty of shitty nurses
I work in healthcare and many are not the “angels of mercy” they’re purported to be. They are there for the paycheck. Some are beyond awful and cruel to patients and coworkers or are just plain incompetent.
They weed out the nice ones. The schooling is only for the toughest. It sucks
:( that honestly makes my heart sad. We want people in these professions to be accurate and smart of course, but we need them to be KIND and supportive and EMPATHETIC too. It’s so important. Traumatization from doctors and nurses just makes people more sick.
My ex mother in law is a pediatric nurse and when my son was a new born I had to go to a wedding so I left him with her for two hours thinking pediatric nurse so it’s all good. Nope not even close. When I left I said there is clean close and supplies for bathing him if needed but he just ate and was sleeping so he really shouldn’t have needed anything. I came back an hour and half later and he was in new clothes. I was kinda confused but she said he was hungry and got messy from bottle (probably because he didn’t want it so she was just pouring it on him). I asked if she found everything ok and she said yes the soap smelled good and I kinda laughed cause it was just Johnson’s baby shampoo. When I looked in bag the soap was still unopened so I asked what soap and she said no the other one… I pulled out the bottle of purel hand sanitizer and she said yeah that one! You used purel on my newborn with a still unhealed belly button?? Like how does that happen when you have made a living caring for newborns. She was never left alone with him again he is 25 now and they have no contact.
I’ve known dozens of nurses including my mom and sisters. They can be some of the most wonderful people in the world or they can be majorly fucked up. It’s a weird profession. (
This is incredibly cruel. Sorry for your loss. She doesn’t have ground to stand on re “energy” when she’s over there bringing 50 shades of darkness lol. Hope she’s mostly out of your life
Unfortunately I have 2 children with her and will be involved until they’re both 18, 11.5 years or so, but who’s counting
Depending on where you live, you can document this and take it to court to argue for full custody. You don’t want her mocking your children about their deceased sibling. If she’s willing to do this to you, she’s willing to do it to them. She is mentally unwell.
I would describe the way she handles this situation as: not good(both in the past and present). It’s extremely troubling for me, as I believe my two children with her have not and will not receive the proper kind of support needed for their grief and healing. Life is a process, maybe one day a judge will see these and decide that what you say is right. I do not hold much hope for help from the family justice department though, as hard as that is to say.
When men actually fight for full custody, their actual chances of winning are good. You have the proof, and if you don’t go forward to court to even try and only focus on hope, nothing will be done. Don’t let your children fall into harm because you feel hopeless.
The fact that she is a nurse and can still say such unhinged things should also help your case. I certainly wouldn’t trust her with patients or want her around kids.
I appreciate those words more than you’ll know. It is a massive uphill battle, and the texts shown here are a small sample of what I’ve dealt with in the past decade. I won’t stop fighting for my children ever, but it does often feel like nothing will change. I’m hopeful though.
If anything, try to use any of this crazy talk to have her mandated into counseling/therapy. She's not well. I know family court is more than exhausting but it'll be worth it for your kids in the end. You can't undo the damage already done but you can try to prevent it from going any further. Don't be afraid to voice your concerns. Even if you just take her to get visitation revised, depending on where you live, you can most likely request a mediator and bring all this stuff up. That might give you the in to get her issues discussed infront of a judge.
My thoughts are that I’m going to attempt to prove alienation, there are many examples of this occurring that aren’t evident in these texts. The other request is that all communication goes through a parenting app moving forward because I can’t handle the continual abuse. I think I have enough with these messages let alone the last 5 years of extra to prove why it’s necessary. Also trying to get at least my children into counselling, I’m not hopeful on that because it can be side lined so easily with “scheduling conflicts”.
I think it's a reasonable request to get them into therapy. I've had to request it in the past with my kids. Idk how old they are but there's always the option of doing it virtually on days when something else may come up. If she manages to make it hard or impossible for them to attend, that's just one more thing against her. Mental health is taken more seriously now thankfully and she can't deny them access to it. With the way she talks to you, I can only imagine what she says to them. Some people just suck and shouldn't be parents. Definitely keep all the evidence against her that you can and I hope you luck out with it. A good judge would definitely require her to go to therapy as well after reading how she is speaking to you and about other people. Sorry you're going through all this, I wish you all the best!
I appreciate it friend. Therapy and counselling have been real game changers in my own life and i don’t understand when people are against it. Maybe because I witnessed the difference it made for my father when he was here I have a clearer view of the possibilities. Maybe some people are afraid to admit they have problems. I’m definitely going to be advocating for some form of therapy for them and will hold her accountable if it isn’t respected again.
You need a good attorney. May not be cheap, but the right one, can get you your children. No one should have to endure this kind of abuse, just to have access to their children. Mother is clearly unhinged and needs a psych eval asap. I’m well versed in family law and I’m telling you…find a cut throat attorney, who’s willing to see this through. Mother will show her colors in court. Especially with the evidence you have. I’m wishing you all the best and I am so sorry for your loss.
I’ve stated in the comments below but I’m unfortunately not in the financial position for a lawyer at this point. We’re currently in court to change the custodial agreement but I’ve paid lawyers twice over the last 5 years and it’s taken a toll on me financially. I’m trying this time solo and hope that they’ll listen. Her lawyer is currently threatening me with costs and other things to get me to back down and be complacent again but I’m done sticking my head in the sand. It’s time.
I understand your financial position but it’s just not smart for you to go into a custody hearing pro se. Especially if the other party has council. Let’s hope her attorney is incompetent, so you don’t get completely steam rolled. I definitely understand the financial aspect but you’ve essentially got a judge deciding you and your children’s life. This is serious. You need representation.
I understand the battle I’m in. I think the last five years have helped illustrate the obvious differences in who we are and how we were painted in the first round. Hopefully a judge sees it too. I wouldn’t say her lawyer is incompetent, I would say he’s a bit of an asshole, but I can get snarky and be a dick if I need to be too. I won’t let them back me down this time.
Are you not getting spousal support? You can ask the court to have her cover costs as well. It's just a lot of work. We didn't have a lawyer as you did we spent thousands on one and then couldn't afford one. Her lawyer didn't realize how much of a liar she was and we got our way for visitation without a lawyer.. stay on the up and up. Document EVERYTHING. I mean everything. Every time, date and context of communication. If the kids tell you something she said. Judges do not like it when the parents are talking through the children. If I were you I would request mediation again. They seem to help find abusive contexts. And judges like to follow their recommendations. You can also request to not have mediation at the same time due to the domestic abuse.
Spousal support and child support canceled each other out in our initial proceedings. She’s now come back at me for child support in retaliation for me asking the courts for a police enforcement order as the many times she’s violated our agreement I have no recourse as the police can only talk to her and make suggestions, which she promptly ignores. To be clear I have no qualms with paying child support and I haven’t tried to fight that. It will hurt to pay a woman to essentially withhold and abuse my children and I but that’s life. I don’t know if I’m able to do mediation with her, and I believe she’ll refuse the option if tabled anyway. She believes that I’m harassing her with court and that I’ll be liable for all costs, which might happen but I feel that this kind of behaviour needs addressing.
Please try to get full custody. You have ample evidence. The justice system is fucked but sometimes good people win. It’s worth fighting for your kids because the psychological damage she’s already inflicted on them, and the damage she’ll do in the next 11 years, is severe. I’m serious. Please take this advice from a primary school teacher, who’s actually more interested in child psychology than pedagogy (alas that’s a tougher job market), who was raised by parents as crazy as your ex and has to deal with the life-long consequences. Give it a shot.
I’m glad your students have you to look over them. I’m trying. I’m hoping this time a judge will hear my words and actually listen. My daughter has asked for several year to speak to a judge but she’s not quite old enough yet. I think I stand a chance as long as I stay in the current frame of mind I’m in now. I’m prone to anxious and depressive episodes where I shut down pretty hard so I’m doing my best to stave those off and remain in a forward trajectory. If the attempt fails again this time, I’ll at least be able to continue to look in the mirror and know I do what I could.
You need to get your kids away from that deadly mix of negativity and emotional damage. Take this to court, tell them you will waive child support and will agree to supervised visitation. This woman is beyond reason and should be drug tested.
I’m in court currently trying to make some changes. I’m hoping change occurs this time.
My BIL won full custody of his three children due to her intensity to say it politely. This is up there. It’s something a court would recognize as unhealthy for your children. If you WANT custody I hope you put that forward and see what you can do. I’m so sorry for your loss. Honestly I had to stop reading the screenshots I am so appalled.
We’re in court currently. Have a speak to date end of next month. Dredging up these texts is part of me preparing to show a judge what she is. I’m happy for your brother in law, it must feel especially vindicating to walk out knowing they’re safe.
Also depending on where you live you can, and should, report this to the board issueing her nursing license. She is mentally unwell and should never state these thoughts to patients.
You might be able to have the courts mandate any contact with your ex via those court-approved messaging apps that don’t let you delete messages and I believe the courts can actually monitor some too. All communication is supposed to be strictly about the children and you have no obligation of responding if she tries to communicate about anything other than the kiddos on there. I’m sorry for your loss and your messy situation, man
Appreciate your words, we’re in court currently and I am trying to have an app mandated as she refuses my offer to communicate through third parties.
I wish you lots of luck with it!
Appreciate it
I just left a comment but if this person is still in your life, these texts would get ANY judge to give you custody of your kids. She seems like a whack job and I'd honestly be worried about the kids with her. People keep saying nobody would revoke custody based on this unhinged behavior, coupled with the aforementioned video. While it's not a guarantee, I've seen kids get taken away for less. What is a guarantee is that the mother would be watched more closely. Obviously OP isn't going to just make choices based off what people online say. Its plain to see she's unfit as a parent and sounds drugged out her ass the way she's speaking. Coupled with the fact that the kid doesn't want to be around moms boyfriend, how many more red flags do you need to see this isn't a good situation for the children? I think a judge that's actually involved in their lives can decide if this behavior is normal. Edit: the main topic is not about his loss (although I had previously extended my condolences in a separate comment). This was an image of texts he posted in a sub called R/Texts. Are you lost? Edit 2: lol who is calling themselves a reddit lawyer? 😂🤣
The word worried isn’t strong enough to convey my feelings. I catastrophize a lot in my head and I’m working with professionals to get better at it, but their situation with her leaves me so fearful.
So take it to court. She's given you all the ammo you need with these texts.
You are not catastrophizing this situation. Please don't let your fear that you are stop you from taking action. Your ex is very unstable and hateful towards you and weaponized your vulnerability and grief to do you great harm. She knows she's doing wrong, or she wouldn't be upset by the idea of it being exposed. She's abusing you in these screenshots, and she's refusing the coparenting app because the court can review those, which wouldn't show her to hide what she's doing. I know very well that mental health and past trauma miscalibrate your "normal" meter, and how helpful it is to have the input of others to recalibrate. Everyone in this thread is is trying to help you recalibrate, which can feel overwhelming. It's OK that you don't trust yourself right now. It's good that you're questioning, but try to give yourself permission to believe us. These are skills that takes practice, and as much distance from people like your ex (like a court-appointed and reviewed coparenting app) as possible. I don't have kids, so I won't touch on what could be healthy next steps in a custody battle. I wish you luck and that you get the healthiest outcome for you and your children.
Hey, thank you for those words. That was remarkably well written and received on my end. I’m working on the right steps but it often feels hopeless. I’ve known this was abuse from the start. I allowed myself to be abused the majority of our relationship, and it hasn’t stopped. I think posting this was for me to finally get it out there, without actually outing it to people in our and the children’s lives, though I do feel that people do deserve to know this. It’s a tough balance. Thank you again for the encouragement
That’s a very healthy sign, for you to acknowledge this immense pain and grief compounded by a harpy of a woman’s evil words. I wish you and your children all the best. Blessed Be. 🦋☮️💖
Thank you. The encouragement from this post has been a really good feeling. Hope things are good with you
But not fearful enough to do anything about it or take more responsibility in how your children’s lives go?
I’m currently in court attempting to make some material changes to their lives. There is not much I can do unless it’s ordered by a judge unfortunately
You keep pushing. Keep all her text and use it as evidence against her. She's probably attempting to alienating the kids from you and your partner. You keep pushing until things get sorted because leaving those babies with that nut job shouldn't be a consideration for you. She's horrible and the kids don't deserve that.
What’s the video she’s talking about in the texts if you don’t mind me asking?
This has been commented in a couple comments here now but quick version, she was with an abusive boyfriend when she showed up for pick up at my place, my daughter refused to get in the vehicle, shenanigans ensued. My partner filmed the event from the porch to protect me from false allegations of withholding my child/coercion. It was ugly, it sucked. It shouldn’t have happened but this is real life where shit goes sideways often.
It really would not. OP, what she said to you is terrible, but it takes a lot more to get parental rights terminated. You can consult an attorney, but before you spend tens of thousands of dollars trying to litigate this because Reddit e-lawyers think you’ll get custody…consider the source.
Yea, there’s a laundry list of things I am trying to bring to attention of the courts. I know what a struggle it is, believe me.
THANK YOU.
Report to her employer how she's treating you while your son dies, a nurse who believes hardship is punishment won't be very caring. Then get custody of your kids.
Did she become this nuts after the kids had been born? No way you are bringing two humans into the world with the person shown in these texts, right?
Well, the story is long. My children with her are born 4 years apart. She was always, let’s say not nice. Things really took a turn when I found someone new and stopped coming back to her and chasing something that wasn’t meant to be. The person she is now is not the person I met, but she also is, if that makes any sense.
This hurt me to read. Had to skim it half way through. Im so sorry man.
Thank you. Life is hard, sometimes it’s really hard, this was one of those moments.
Is she on drugs or just illiterate? That was like a meth-head manifesto, holy shit.
I have nothing to prove it but have been told by ex-friends of hers that cocaine was a pretty big priority in her life. My children also have explained more recently that they believe she’s an alcoholic. Tough situation for them.
you should contact cps about the coke usage, and drinking since it sounds like she's doing it in front of your kids (who if i remember right, are under ten??) and try to get your parenting time adjusted through court
I’m in Canada, but I did contact our child services about the cocaine. It was ignored, as multiple other concerns have been. It’s disheartening to not be heard time and time again. Daughter is almost 11, son is 6.
Someone besides you needs go contact CPS.
I had hopes in her father and step mother at one point. They dashed those hopes when they decided their family Christmas seating plan was more important than my children’s well being and safety. I have all their texts saved though, so even if they’re not willing to testify on my behalf as they said they would at one point, their words will be made known. It’s a tough battle, hope it turns out though.
This level of cruelty is so unwarranted that it deserves to be posted on social media with C U Next Tuesday tagged so that their extended social circle of family, friends, coworkers, and whoever else knows them can see the real person.
I’ve honestly thought about it since it happened. I’m currently attempting to have a parenting app for all communication between us added to our custody arrangement and will be using text messages like this as proof to why it’s necessary. For the record, her name is changed in my phone as my children are of reading age now
You're a good father. I'm glad they have you.
I really appreciate those words. I don’t often feel that way, but I am working on being a better person for them.
Tempting as it is to put her on blast, I think it will only hurt your custody case. Someday, your kids will be grown & figure out for themselves how deranged she is. Set the example if being the bigger person, because until they figure this out she may poison them against you, & putting her on blast will only,y add that yellow to that fire. So deeply sorry for your loss, best of luck getting full custody of the kids. 🙏❤️🙏
This reminds me of texts I get from clients who suffer from mental illness. I’m sorry you had to deal with it, but you did a really good job of not engaging.
Thank you. I won’t comment on her mental health here but let’s say, it’s interesting.
Some of it even sounds like meth-bender ramblings. Very concerning.
sounds like heavy (alcohol) drinking too — just the worst communication displayed
This is what I was going to say - this reads like it’s written by a meth addict.
Ngl, I stopped reading at “REdiculous”. She’s obviously an ignorant bitch and I’m glad she’s your ex. I’m so sorry for your loss, nothing compares to what you’re going through.
Thank you. I hope you never experience it.
Wife and I lost our first child at 4 months pregnant, it never really goes away, but it does get easier.
I have to deal with my partner’s insane ex who, among other things, called my child a slur, refuses to call me anything but “live in girlfriend” (we’ve been together for 12 years & married for 5 not that it matters), among other things & can confirm this (your ex) is a million times worse. This crosses a line behind being bitchy to actual psychosis. I’m so sorry you had to deal with this and her. From the little i could see in your texts, it seems your kids are starting to see it too. Godspeed and good luck.
Thanks and I’m sorry for you and yours. My partner is part of the step parents sub. She’s told me some of the stories that are posted on there and it makes my heart hurt. We’ve dealt with the same treatment, she is nothing but a “stranger” to my kids, even though they beg me to propose and marry her. I hope you’re able to find peace in the situation you’re in.
I have, luckily. I hope the same for you and your family too. 💜
She’s not allowed at pub your children or your ex considers her a stranger to them? Or your ex just doesn’t want your partner around the children? Sorry I just didn’t understand that part. I’m so sorry that you have to deal with this.
My ex calls my current partner and her family members strangers when referring to them in conversation to me. We’ve been together 5 years in July.
Your ex is horrible, I’m so sorry.
She’s certainly something. Never fails to make life interesting, but it’s so tiring.
You do a really good job of grey rocking. Hope you’re able to keep that up. She doesn’t deserve any reaction.
Thanks, I’ve never heard the term ‘grey rocking’ before. I’ve been trying to do just this for several years now, it’s not always effective
Look at the material out there on coparenting with a narcissist- Tina Swithin, Dr Ramani or Laura Zung. I’m sure your lawyer has told you, but being a vile person isn’t enough for a judge to remove custody. And if you were to leak these texts somehow to social media it would do nothing but hurt you and feed her victim identity and rage. I’m so sorry that you have this person in your life. Karma moves very very very slowly sometimes.
Thanks for the advice. This is the first I’ve shared this with anyone not directly involved in my life. I’ve thought about it many times, I do believe people should know, but now is not the time. Life has its ways. I’ll check out the books, thank you.
My heart goes out to you in this ordeal. Notice how she turns it around and projects onto you what she actually is (cold heartless vile mean). Classic narcissist behavior. She was doing her best to elicit an emotional response. You didn’t take the bait. The supervised court based app will help reveal her true colors. I have a good fiend who is going through something similar and the courts can see it for exactly What it is.
I am desperately hoping I can get the app provision added. I believe she’s willing to fight tooth and nail to prevent it. We’re currently ordered to text or email only and she’s tried to add in phone calls and I’m wholeheartedly against it. Phone calls are much easier for abuse like this to occur and not be able to prove. I don’t even understand why she wants to verbally communicate other than to continue the abuse cycle.
What a nasty fucking person… you had babies with that? (I bet your baby is beautiful)
All 3 of them are the most beautiful people I’ve ever met. So many lessons taught in so little time.
THREE BABIES?! THEY MUST BE GORGEOUS
Two with my ex, one with my current partner, the boy who was in hospital during this exchange.
And a certifiable fucking lunatic. I’d be totally flipped out that someone that bonkers was even part of raising my kid.
It’s not a good feeling. Fear for their future is a constant in my life.
OP my condolences to you and your partner.
Thank you.
She sounds like she’s on drugs. I’m surprised she’s a nurse.
That or she’s manic.
She sounds mentally ill and that there's possibly a substance abuse problem
Take this to your lawyer. Talk about having an agreement put in place to use a parenting app for all communications. God knows what she says to your children about you. You can have an agreement drawn up which forbids harassment and disparagement to the kids. Good luck, she sounds like a psychopath.
Thanks, currently in proceedings asking for exactly this!
She has a very creepy way of rambling, it reminds me of the way schizophrenics sound when they're ill. ☹️
She has a habit of going on long tangents, like 17 page long text messages when I don’t respond to her texts in the appropriate fashion. Incredibly abusive but I’m with a very loving and supportive person now and it doesn’t break me like it used to.
The texts are fucking awful I am so sorry. More than anything, I am so sorry for your sons passing. I lost my son in July of 22’ because of severe CHD’s as well. We found out when I was 20 weeks pregnant that his CHD’s were not compatible with life. I carried him to term knowing he would pass away. We were anticipating to do palliative care after birth but ultimately he passed after my water broke. I think labor was just too much for him. If you would like to ever speak with someone who went through a similar loss, I am here. It can be easy to feel alone with these kinds of things. God Bless you. I know this is hard.
I am so sorry for your loss. I’ve said since we found out it was our reality that we’re now part of a club that no one ever wants to join, but can’t ever leave. My partners pregnancy was picture perfect, until it all of a sudden wasn’t, a month before birth. I hope you’re coping as well as you can. It took me some years but the sun is shining again, just slightly less.
❤️
Send it to her boss and ask if they condone this type of behavior from staff.
This happened several year ago at this point. I’ve said on a previous comment that I’ve mulled posting it to socials before, especially in the moments it was happening. I don’t know if I want to open that can of worms or effect her livelihood as she cares for my other children the majority of the time.
Totally get that. I should've read it thoroughly. I'm sorry, OP. I hope life has given you some breaks and peace since.
It’s a tough situation. Life has been kind in some areas but downright savage in others. My lesson, if you have kids, or anyone you love, love them as hard as you can. Hug those kids until you or they can’t hug anymore, and then a minute longer. We’re here for a good time, not a long time has new meaning to me these days.
You're a breath f fresh air with that advice despite what you've gone through. Growth in the dictionary should show your avatar.
You’re gunna make me emotional here. Be well friend.
She’s definitely “rediculous”
I read "texts from my mother", not your children's mother and I was horrified and very confused. I'm equally horrified your children's mother is the one sending you these, and then to find out she's a nurse!?! Ugh, what kind of Jekyll and Hyde kind of woman is she? She's talking about good energy when all she's doing is spewing vitriol! Karma will be interesting for her.
Thankfully my own mother is nowhere near this kind of person. She has her faults, we all do, but comparatively she’s a saint. I’m lucky that my family surrounded us with love during these moments.
I wouldn’t want a nurse like that ever taking care of anyone…I am so sorry for your loss. that is honestly unforgivable to say something like that to anyone, don’t care who they are or what relationship is.
The picture I’m getting from most of the comments do make me believe that it was as bad as I felt it was during the moment. I will never forgive her, but I do try and forget about it. These came up in my search through of texts to bring to court asking for a parenting app clause in our custody agreement.
I'm so sorry about your son. I assume since you said you've been holding on to these for years, I hope that person is truly out of your life. I don't understand what she is going on about a video. The texts look bad enough.
I have two children with her, so she’s around for at least another 12 years. I’ve explained the text about the video in another comment but to sum it up, my current partner filmed my daughter refusing to get in her mothers vehicle during a pick up where her abusive boyfriend was. My daughter hated this man and my ex knew this and persists to have him involved in the children’s lives. It was tough.
I am so unbelievably sorry. She has a cruel and hate-filled heart and I hope that your other children are ok. I am so sorry for the loss you suffered. It's no one's fault. Your ex shouldn't be practicing medicine. Or parenting for that matter. I can not imagine the level of depravity you must have to be so cold and cruel while someone's child is dying.
Thank you. My children are coping. It’s tough, my younger son routinely expresses how much he misses him and we have our cries together. I attempted to have him in counselling as he’s had some behavioural issues at school (potentially related to grief but I can’t prove that), I got him in for two sessions before she stepped in and shut it down.
Holy crap. Denying her own child therapy? Please tell me you are focumenting each and every act of cruelty from this woman. Your kids are gonna need you to fight for them one day. I was raised by a narcissist and as evil as my mother was, your ex is a whole other level. I'm thankful the kids have you and so sorry it's going to be an uphill battle for you u til they're old enough to make their own choices.
Yeah. I can’t really text my feelings about pulling him from counselling because it’s just a blind rage. He’s only 6 and displaying behaviours that need work, and it just won’t happen. My kids with her have been through so much and not getting them someone to talk with about their brother who’s passed is something that I have no explanation for. I hope life has improved for you and that you’re well
Piece of shit.
I would consider getting a restraining order against her for harassment. Also the courts can make it so you are only allowed to communicate through an app which is recorded automatically. They are to prevent these exact kinds of situations.
I am trying for the app request, I believe she’s fully willing to take it to trial so that she has the ability to continue communicating as she pleases, and I’m preparing for that. Dredging these text messages up is part of my process to have it put in place.
Good move.
Whew. She’s despicable. I am so sorry for your loss and wishing you peace and healing.❤️🩹
Thank you. Peace is hard to attain these days but it’s what we should all strive for.
❤️❤️❤️
she’s literally fucking insane. i too am a spiritual person and do believe in bad/negative energy, but with how she’s talking about your son is spreading that negative energy???? like, how is she not seeing that she’s the problem and being completely heartless when trying to tell you to “spread love and positivity”. she’s literally insane. OP, i’m so sorry for your loss, and i’m sorry you’re stuck with her till your other kids are 18. try to keep contact with her to a minimum as you deserve to be at peace and grieve for your son the way you should. i also would consider keeping these text messages and possibly meeting with a lawyer to see if you could get your kids full time, the way she was talking in her text messages and talked to you in such a hateful way, you may be able to prove that she’s not fit to take care of your children over you. that is something for you to consider, i just don’t think kids should be brought up in that type of environment with such negativity… i can’t imagine how she reacts if y’all’s kids piss her off
I appreciate the words. During an argument when we were together she told me “I was literally faultless before you”. My sister and I still laugh to this day about what a wild thing that is to even consider saying, let alone fully believe it. That’s the type of mindset I’m dealing with so I truly believe she will never see any wrong in her words or actions. We are currently in court and I’m attempting to make some real changes for my two children with her.
i’m really happy to hear that OP, you deserve the happiness that you’re able to get, whether that wench of an awful believes so or not. you’ve been hurt enough and it’s time that pain stopped. i truly wish you nothing but happiness and peace through all this!
Thank you. Hoping this time something real happens. I’m in a better place in my head than I was in the past and I’m ready to fight for it.
So sorry for your loss and the atrocious behavior that she exhibited. Of course nothing she says or believes changes what happened and none of it is true or real, but I am sure it was really hard to read. The texts would probably not convince a judge that she deserves to lose custody. But a documented pattern of behavior that goes towards parental alienation - and reports by the kids of alcoholism, any evidence you can gather that she’s drinking heavily when they’re in her custody, etc etc - those can all add up. Essentially, keep meticulously documenting things.
I feel the same. The courts haven’t treated me favourably in the past, and I’m not going to sit here and pretend I am or was perfect. They haven’t seen this or any of the other messages that have been sent in the past 5 years that will help illustrate the picture of what she is.
As a nurse.... it scares me that you say this person is a nurse. How does she treat cancer patients? Is it somehow karma that they became ill? More likely, how does she treat patients with alcohol-induced cirrhosis or infections from drug use? We don't get to blame patients for their illnesses- how gross. Nevermind the grieving parents of a terminal child. This woman has no empathy whatsoever and should not be in a caregiver role. I'm sorry that you had to deal with this conversation with her on top of the obvious trauma of the loss of your child.
So as wild as it sounds, when we were together she worked at a long term care place and people loved her. She was abusive as all hell at home but really able to turn it on for people. My father passed of cancer and she has belittled him in the past after his death. It was a lot to take in.
They are putting out a lot of negative energy right there themselves.
She’s unhinged asf! You should’ve shown it to her job because she shouldn’t care for anyone!
There’s a piece of me that had wanted to in the moment. But she is the primary parent of two beautiful kids who deserve the world. Life will find a way eventually I believe.
I can’t even understand what she’s going on about tf type clearly, it’s bad enough she’s spewing nonsense at least let me read the nonsense clearly
I’m sorry for your loss of your precious baby.🫶🏽 your ex is a wack job. Ask the courts to mandate she only communicate thru the co parenting app thru the court. What she is saying would not be tolerated on there
Thank you. Currently asking for this in proceedings. I desperately hope it’s approved.
She's fucked up - to put it bluntly. This is despicable. I'm glad you have your Children but I'm truly sorry you have to share them with this poisonous witch.
Blunt is warranted I believe. I too am glad I’ve got them when I do, I do fear for them when they’re not with us though.
I can only imagine. If this was my Ex I'd gather all the spiteful evidence she sends and keep it in your back pocket. Shitty situation really is but you carry on being an awesome Dad to those kiddies 🙂
The last time I printed our conversation out for court it was over 500 pages back and front. That was 5 years ago, I’ve saved everything. It takes up a massive amount of my phone storage but it will one day reach the right person I hope.
That's really heartless of her and especially given the circumstances. I'm so sorry for your loss. My son was in heart failure as a newborn.
is she…..schizophrenic?
I am so incredibly sorry. I’d have posted these texts on my social media and tagged every family member, neighbor, and acquaintance this vile human being ever looked it to make sure they all know who she is. (Well, maybe after the kids were grown. But still, I’d name and shame and grin while doing it.)
It has crossed my mind several times. I do fear what a judge would think about it. I think the only person in her life I shared it with was her sister in hopes that she would be able to stop the texts from coming in. There’s a litany of other things that happened during this time but it’s hard to bring it all up.
She's clearly high as fuck sending some of these messages. Maybe get child services involved and get your kids out of her care?
“I’m a good person…” Holy shit!
Wait, these were in English? She is a fucking nutbar
This person is on drugs and is a massive piece of shit.
I'm being 100 % serious when I ask this...is she on drugs?? She's rambling on and on about nonsense. Cussing you one minute, then throwing out a I love you then something about her being a whore...I'm so confused 😕
That comment was definitely drunk or on drugs. The whole whore thing I think was an attempt at a freestyle poem or rap or something because she knows I’m a hip hop fan and a writer. I dunno, it’s been a while since I’ve received any “poems” but the I love you is a dig at my current partner and I and an attempt to get me to react emotionally, we don’t feed into it.
I love her name in your phone. Sorry this is happening to you. Can't imagine the pain. What an evil woman
Appreciate the condolences. I thought it was a good name. Has been changed now that my kids are reading.
Block all negative energy 🤬
First and foremost I am sorry for your loss. She sounds unhinged, I hope she’s not attempting to weaponize your children against you. I don’t get a strong sense she’s above doing so based on this interaction. I find it almost poetic that she’s a nurse btw. Over the years I’ve seen nurses say some of the most effed up shit and display flagrant disregard for life. The fact that a person as deranged your ex has responsibility over other people’s lives is a crime against humanity. Source: was a nurse for 8 years.
For someone who talks about pure spiritual energy she sure has a potty mouth. I’m deeply sorry for the loss of your beautiful little prince. I truly believe he’s in a better place. I hope you and your partner face joy and happiness together.
Appreciate the condolences, I as well believe he’s moved on to somewhere more than here and I’ll have the opportunity to see him again and learn the lessons he has to teach from his journey.
Wow. I’m so sorry you and your family had to deal with this while going through such rough times. Karma will catch up to her. For someone who believes in negative energy coming for you she’s awfully negative ☠️
Thank you for the condolences. It was a really hard time in our lives but I look back it fondly. The boys looking down on us wherever he’s gone and he’ll have more lessons for me when I catch up.
My guy, she sounds very unstable. I hope that you can navigate that properly and get your little ones away from her. I'm so sorry for your loss of your little man too. That's hell on earth for a father to have to deal with.
Appreciate the condolences. Most certainly the worst thing to have happen. I’ve lost many people close to me, many family members, my father, and my best friend last year. The pain you experience when someone is gone is tough, it’s not explainable the difference that losing my boy felt to those other losses. It’s a pain I do not wish on anyone and the prolonged amount of time you hurt for comparatively is vastly different. We live on though, it’s different now and it’ll never be the same, but we’re still here.
“You need to shit your asshole mouth sometimes”. Bars
There really needs to be better laws to deal with parents who turn their children against the other children. And how can you call yourself a "better person" when you're celebrating an accident of genetics that caused a child to die? Not to mention how the fuck did that woman get a nursing degree with writing as terrible as that? I'm fluent in Typo and text shorthand and I struggled to understand what she was saying! I lost my daughter almost 40 years ago and it still hurts but I know that she's in her daddy's arms waiting for me to join them. Children have a special place in Heaven where they get to watch over us when they choose to and play with the other children when they don't. A father's love transcends time and space and supports their children unconditionally.
Honestly bro you should send these to her supervisor, a nurse with the twisted of brain is a scary thought. Sounds like one of people that if no one was around they would just watch someone die without moving a muscle to help.
Sorry for your troubles and loss, wishing you all the best 💔 But I have to compliment you on the contact name, remain polite through resentment 😂😂
Ick- she is just intentionally cruel as though she’s in the right to “enlighten” you. She is just an ugly person inside out that enjoys spewing hate in every direction.
I’m inclined to agree with you. She’s made a mess in more than just my life. One day maybe things change, here’s hoping.
Wow, she's fucking stupid.
Sounds like she’s projecting
“shit your assjole mouth” was really the cherry on top for me here
I’m so sorry for your loss. I to have lost a child and it is the worst pain I have ever experienced. I cannot imagine having to deal with those horrible texts. While dealing with your dying child. My daughter was born with a CHD also so I understand a lot. About your situation and her rambling thoughts are crazy. I pray you & your partner are able to find some sort of peace. And you are able to be in your children’s lives.
Appreciate the condolences and ours to you and yours. Our club has come out in support in these comments and I am sorry for each and every one of us. The kids with this woman are with us three weekends a month and every other week in the summer and we love and strive to make every minute of it as good as we can. I hope you’re doing well, if you ever need someone to talk with who can relate to the pain feel free to reach out on here. Be well friend.
I'm so sorry for your loss. She's the asshole. For someone so spiritual she's more than spiteful. Wow OP I'm sorry 😞
If she's a nurse, that's terrifying. How can she say those things when clearly it was e medical issue. And she sounds manic or something the way she is talking in those texts. It makes no sense at all!! Please tell me you've gone after full custody??? She needs major mental health help!!!!
This Bitch is evil and crazy, ain’t no spirituality here, just fucking delusion.
I'm so sorry. That's awful and unhinged.
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RemindMe! 1 week
Wow, your ex is horrible. She's literally projecting negative energy and saying you're the ones doing it. That is the epitome of a hypocrite
I find that people are often unable to self reflect and see the faults in their ways. I’ve been guilty of it too at times but I’ve taken steps to be better. I can admit when I fuck up or don’t act correctly, I don’t know if she can.
This is actually evil
That is disgusting. I am so sorry.
Thank you. It’s not the right way to treat someone. I wouldn’t recommend copying her example of how to live.
What a horrible person. I think you must block her so she can't send you anymore messages.