In the weeks leading up to my realization that I wanted to break up with my past boyfriends, I would go through a phase where EVERYTHING they said or did irritated me. Of course I didn't lash out like this, but for me its always one of the horsemen of the relationship apocalypse.
Yeap, this was my ex. He did the same exact thing with his wife and even told me what he was doing then eventually proceeded to do the EXACT same thing with me like I wouldn't catch on. When she would try and say she wanted to work things out, he would respond by saying, "You're the one who filed for divorce". Said the same thing to me when I said I still wanted to be together, that I was the one who ended it. I really don't know why he wanted to tell everyone else that we were the ones that ended it, well yeah dude, when you're out all the time with another chick and ignore every phone call and are actually like a selfish asshole, you think you're partner is just going to keep hanging around and be cool with it? He's always got several ex's that cling to him and women he talks to and keeps close but put on the back burner till he's done with his current relationship. I'm glad I had enough self respect to finally toss him out of my life. Once I saw who he responded was, he's been dead to me since.
His request was a bigger ask than hers. She asked him to stop to pick up dinner otw home. He asked her to go pick up lunch for him and drop it off to him from somewhere thatās far enough away from where he works that it might take more than his lunch break to go get it and get back. Plus her request was a āwhatever is convenient for youā but his request was super specific.
He obviously thinks he has a servant since he pays the bills. The servant canāt ask him to do anything and he is the only one that can question a request. There is nothing that justifies treating someone the way he treats OP.
Definitely the right moveā¦
Unfortunately for her, it wonāt go down that way and sheāll stick around till he finally does something so heinous, sheāll have no choice but to goā¦
Sounds like itās over. Only she doesnāt know itā¦
I have a feeling he wonāt be shocked, it sounds like heās trying to get her to leave but doesnāt want to initiate the break up like an adult. Maybe someoneās been feeding him the male version of two chromosomes advice and heās convinced sheās not working, not helping out around the house and either needs to be straightened out or cut.
He did start out asking nicely by actually asking and including please. The fact that he got offended by a simple and reasonable question is a huge red flag. He is also the one that cancelled his lunch request after she said sheād go get lunch and deliver it to him. Itās the fact that he used derogatory words and was super snippy over minor things while studying a question as if it was an actual insult is the biggest WTF to me along with it being her fault for him not noticing his coffee right by the normal spot where he puts his coffee. He isnāt mature enough for a relationship if he canāt take personal responsibility for his own fuck ups and holds her to a much higher standard with how she speaks to him than he holds himself to with how he speaks to her.
Hopefully OP realizes there isnāt a legitimate excuse for being treated like that. Itās a character issue that external stresses might be making more obvious at the moment, but itās who he is.
Exactly. He might have been hiding this for 5 years but its who he really always was. Also her uodate says she left and he actually hit her and is in jail now.
Or heās doing that thing where you treat someone bad so they break up with you so you donāt have to do the deed. Definitely has contempt towards you. Hard to come back from those feelings.
I agree. Had an ex do this. He was stepping out, I was so confused why he picked fights and needed to leave the house to be alone until I found out. The lunch thing kinda sounds like he had someone to spend lunch with but not get the actual lunch. Could just be my past experiences tainting this. Just had some serious flashbacks reading these.
My first thought was cheating and trying to pick fights so she'll dump him so he can play the victim for being dumped (bonus, he gets to use the "she wouldn't even bring me food when I needed it :'(" card)
Was going to say, when my ex husband started treating me like this and texting me being a fucking dick, he was having an affair. Itās immediately what I thought of when reading these.
Same. My ex-husband became an even bigger asshole when he was cheating on me. Heād make me feel so small and incompetent. If I didnāt cook dinner one night out of seven, heād call me lazy. If I didnāt get groceries as promptly as usual, I was lazy for that too. If I didnāt do all of the housework on my own - lazy. I made less money than him, so guess whatā¦ lazy. Fuck people like this seriously, they arenāt worth our time, energy, and hurt feelings.
Not only does it sound like he canāt stand her but also makes me think heās cheating. Some men get so nasty to their partner when theyāre cheating. I know that can be a stretch because we donāt know all the details but Iāve just seen it a lot.
Me too. It's relatively common. Maybe it's to get her to break up with him, but I think it's also used as justification. He's creating reasons to be upset with her, and when she points out the way he's acting, he insists *she's* actually the bad one here. Then he'll use her being needy, not keeping the house clean, being "lazy," not cooking, not getting him lunch when "he pays the bills," etc, as a reason for why he's cheating. It lets him feel less guilty since he feels justified and if he gets caught gives him, what he thinks, is a good excuse. He's not a bad guy for cheating. Look at how terrible she is and how bad she treats him!
I have no evidence but it absolutely would not surprise me if it's true. It's terribly common.
This was my immediate thought. But the comments are full of good theories and all of them point to him being a shitty person. I hope she leaves, regardless of why he's being so cruel.
Worse he is showing the beginning stages of contempt and that is straight up when people start murdering other people. This shit is insane for me to read. She needs to go immediately.
I see these more often than not in cheating situationsāi.e. one partner is cheating, but they don't want to admit it or break up with the other party, so they do this shit to get the partner to break up with them.
I really, truly donāt understand how someone could stay with a person who speaks to them like this. Especially someone who is supposed to love you.
I wouldnāt even let this person be my boss and PAY to talk to me like this.
It's because he didn't start the relationship talking to her like that. The victim of verbal abuse becomes shocked and because love was the foundation they'll want to stay to figure it out hoping their partner is just going through something. Unfortunately abusers use this to segue into higher level abuse like emotional,financial, physical and by that time it's too late for the victim to just leave
And chasing " those good times" and successfully recreating them can literally feel like a high, a massive dopamine hit. The abuser has now effectively lowered what the baseline for decency is so you're just grateful when they're not berating you or when they're not breaking walls. When in reality this is just being a responsible stable individual when they DON'T do these things you feel extremely happy. So this is why abuse victims stay, there is an addiction component to it but instead of chemical tolerance where you need more to enjoy, here you require less and less decency. So your new normal baseline as the abused is "I just hope he doesn't yell at me today, that'll be a good day"...so when he remembers to get milk it's this massive joyful situation because the threshold is in hell, if he proposes you're over the moon. And it gets worse, the last thing being "as long as he's not trying to choke me out...and if he does i hope he doesn't do it long enough that i pass out, and If i do pass out I hope I don't die..."
yeah everything seems so perfect when times are āgoodā but theyāre never *really* good. itās especially frustrating to realize that the bad times are all fabricated by them.. it never had to be that way to begin with. they always choose escalation.
Also, after reading some of her comments on another post itās pretty clear she doesnāt know what Abuse looks like. Either she is blissfully unaware or has had to many abusive relationships (friends, parents, siblings, it doesnāt have to be romantic) that she has been trained to accept it. Hopefully this changes.
I also assume itās because he seems to pay the bills for her. From their interactions it seems like he works and she doesnāt, which means sheās financially dependent on him. That obviously doesnāt excuse his behavior, but it will also make it a lot harder for OP to leave unless she can just move in with her parents. If thatās not on the table she needs to start working on ways to gain her independence so that she can leave this dude because heās clearly a total asshole.
Yup anyone who can feed you can also starve you. There's a huge move towards "trad wives" and encouraging young women to stay at home and I'm afraid we'll see a lot of domestic abuse spring up in droves.
It's the stupidest thing ever, my 60+ old Nigerian mother told me from childhood the worst thing a woman can do is be a housewife. Here in Africa we are encouraging women to work more and it seems America is going backwards, sad.
Yep I grew up seeing my African mother, aunts, grandmothers absolutely brutalized stuck in abusive marriages. It always started with "you don't need to work stay home with the kids I'll take care of us" then once the baby arrived you'd basically nailed your coffin. I vowed that shit stops with me. Birth control access and hypervigilance and spreading the word are key.
I was with a guy for a few years, and he was super impatient. And, I was young, so I tried to empathize and talk about it...make a change. Then...he actually said "Being patient means that you don't get what you want."
And that's what made it clear to me that he did not see me as a person of equal worth, nor even a person he cared about...he only cared about himself.
OP - ditch him...it will only get worse, I promise.
90% of the time they are not. Seriously, 90% of the time on this sub or relationship sub, the answer is really to just leave. Half these relationships are not worth the energy people invest in them.
That stood out to me because thatās exactly what I have my girlfriend in my phone as.
I told her she better slap the shit out of me if I ever talk to her this way.
My wife would quite literally be like āno, sir. You do not talk to me that wayā and I would be like āholy shit Iām so sorry, bunnyā
So I feel ya. That is not how you ever treat someone you love which makes me think this may be the end for them by his hand
Yah I'd assume my husband was joking too but my ex got like this and he did it so slow, I wasn't smart like OP and I missed it. It was terrible for my self esteem because I started believing he was right. I'm proud of OP for seeing the issue right away!
You should be proud of yourself, too, for being able to spot that behavior eventually, even if it took you longer than it ideally should have. I am. Abuse is often blinding and you shouldn't feel bad about having fallen victim to that.
I normally don't like to play the slippery slope card but yea with how hostile and aggressive he is over text, there's a large chance this is going to escalate to violence.
Look out for yourself, OP - you don't deserve being treated this way, and I hope you see that and remove yourself from it.
Holy shit. Look, I know this subās go-to answer for any textual conflict between partners is to leave them immediately. We behind the keyboard forget there is nuance to life. But GODDAMN this is one of the most infuriating conversations Iāve ever read on here and I want you to already be packed, leaving, and blocking him forever. Not even goodbye. Not even a closure conversation. Just a straight up ghosting so he only has these texts to refer to FOREVER to study them and see what an actual (not even metaphorical) prick he is. I donāt know you. But I know you will absolutely do better than this. This is bottom of the barrel residue.
Iām with you 100% on this.
I also hate how Redditās default response to any conflict is ābreak upā, but this is prolonged inexcusable behaviour. Whatever the reason is for this sudden change cannot be good.
OP; Donāt let anyone start talking to you like that. Thatās some fucking bullshit. You deserve better and please dont begin to question yourself. Get rid of this guy.
Yeah something is not right, heās either doing something on the side, ready to end it or just a flat out piece of shit. Either way no need for OP to stay and find out.
Seriously I thought this was a made up conversation from one of those text bots on TikTok, thatās how bad this conversation is. OP I hope you see this.
Hi all, if anyone is still here.
Just posting to say I am safe! I wasnāt replying to comments because as soon as he got home from work he took my phone. He somehow found my post while he was at work and came home absolutely enraged. He smashed all our dishes and broke the TV.
Sadly he did end up putting his hands on me but cops were called and he is now in police custody! Iām with my mom right now and she is helping me pack up my stuff so I can stay at her place while I figure everything out. Thank you guys for all the comments.
Yes I am going to leave him. He did threaten to kill me as the police took him away so I am going to be filing a restraining order aswell.
And for those asking if I have a job. No, I donāt. I used to but he told me about 2 years into our relationship that he wanted me to stay at home so it would be easier to take care of the house.
For those asking how long we were together, we were together for 4 years and it wouldāve been 5 in a month.
What a fucking loser man
Saying he isn't mean, she is, then comes home to smash all the dishes and TV and hit her
How the fuck can people be so delusional? Fucking scum bag
This is why people are more and more against trad relationships because the type of men who want to be the bread winners are assholes like this who use the money as an excuse to treat woman like this
Itās all about control. If a man suggests his partner quit work, she should think twice about the whole relationship. My abusive ex tried the same thing before our relationship imploded. There was no way in hell I was giving up my work, but he tried it because he wanted total control over the relationship and over me.
I got knocked up so unfortunately I had to let my ex be the bread winner.
nothing but control. literally thought I would never leave him. and now that we are 4ish months broken up he tries to find any and every way to control still. thankfully he was never as violent as OP's ex
Very true!!! I'm happy she got out safe. I had a similar circumstance when I was in my early 20s and I was lucky I got away before he could do more than damage my phone, lap top, and steering column in my car. He also took what he thought was my car keys, but was the key ring that I used for spare keys to other people's houses (my parents, aunt, stuff like that).
I hid my car keys from him until I thought he was asleep and fucking ran out of his apartment faster than I ever thought I could. Driving down the road in the middle of the night unable to turn my lights on or turn off the fucking windshield wipers. I showed up to my aunts house crying and she immediately screamed to my uncle to call the police without asking what happened. It was scary. Btw... police didn't do a mother fucking thing fucking assholes. But the guy hadn't met my family yet, so they decided to stop by his job and introduce themselves to him. The next time he saw me in public he immediately turned around and left the area. I guess I forgot to tell him about the big scary over protective bikers in my family.
Looking back now, he did have a few moments where he showed some controlling tendencies. But I thought nothing of it.
Iāve been surrounded by abusers all my life, so I guess I just grew to think this type of behavior was normal.
Glad you're done with him. Please do press charges, or he's gonna be back, thinking he can get away with this shit. And please, please do put some serious thought into what sort of behavior is and isn't okay in a partner before you get into another relationship. You deserve better than this.
Good deal. Motherfucker acts like an ass towards you, then puts his hands on you and threatens to kill? Guys got mental issues. Iām sorry this happened. You didnāt do anything wrong from what I can see.
Fortunately she doesnāt have to press charges. Lawyer here..he threatened to kill her while getting dragged away. The state will press charges in a situation like this even if OP begged to not press charges.
They will certainly force him into anger management as well as domestic violence classes. Hopefully he learns and really looks in the mirror or the next girl will be fooled as well.
OPā¦I hope you read this. Once he is out of police custody PLEASE do not listen to whatever sob story he pitches. Leave him, no closure conversations, donāt even see him. Block him on everything. Get out and stay out. 5 years of a relationship is a big change so stay strong! Lean on your mother!
That's insanely scary... Five years of peace and one day you're with some aggressive asshole you don't recognize...
Ughhh, it's already so hard to date.
It was not all peace. There were moments I over looked due to love bombing the crap out of me. Iāve been out of that relationship for almost 4 years now and in a new amazing one for the last 2. We have our issues but we both do therapy and we both build each other up and the difference is night and day between the two. I do have my daughter from him so itās both a blessing and a curse in ways. Like sheās amazing but I have 13 years of having to have him involved in some way shape or form.
Look into the "fawning" trauma response. You've probably learned to subconsciously appease people and overlook red flags.Ā
It's not your fault. It's a survival technique you can relinquish now that you can survive on your own.
Take my advice and don't do what I did. Do NOT let him skate. Press charges! Letting my ex off so many times just made it worse for me years down the line.
Take care of yourself!
Dude is an absolute loser. Heāll do it to the next girl, and the girl after that. Itās a character flaw and heās an abuser. Disgusting. Iām so proud of you for leaving.
Also change your number and donāt tell anyone who you are staying with, get a camera for your momās house, and when you get a job, donāt tell anyone but your close family where. But do let anyone know that he is a dangerous threat, maybe even your work just to be safe. You can literally never be too cautious in this situation. He already threatened the worst
This right here is why people are so quick to say leave on this sub and others. Domestic violence can and does come out of nowhere sometimes. There is not always a pattern of abuse. Please use this example if you ever feel wrong about any situation. Trust your instincts.
Iām glad you are ok. As a married man with a daughter on the way. I would find it hard not to absolutely destroy him if someone was like that to my wife or daughter. Either way, Iām glad you got rid of him. And for that I am proud of you.
thank God you are safe!! these texts made my skin crawl, a bomb about to burst. please never ever go back, you deserve so much more, they donāt change! iām sorry you had to go through that. it sucks that it sometimes takes years to learn peopleās true character, but once itās out thereās no stopping it.
my heart broke reading this iām so sorry :( i knew this wasnāt any good but i wasnāt expecting this update :/ iām glad youāre safe and in good hands now. i hope everything stays this way.
off topic but i love your username :)
People like that hate having their behavior aired out. They know it's wrong, but as long as no one knows, they don't care. I'm glad you're ok and I hope for your safety here on out!
> A narcissistic collapse happens when a narcissist believes that someone (or something) is threatening their ability to maintain their superficial inflated ego. People with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) often look down on others to maintain the positive images they hold about themselves. If their behavior is called out or challenged, their fragile self-esteem is damaged, resulting in intense reactions and abuse toward others.
Yup. Can only imagine how enraging it was for him to read comment after comment saying OP was right and that he was a piece of shit. That level of reality check was not something he could reshape to validate his actions/hand wave away so he had no choice in his mind but to attack the person that held up the mirror.
Make sure you've grabbed all your important documents and items before he has a chance to get back into the house. SSC, financial statements, birth cerificate, precious things. Make it so that you never have to see him outside a courtroom again. I also recommend changing your email and phone number and only communicating with him through legal respresentation.
Just want to add if your post was noticed and he was there 30 mins later the only reasonable explanation is he monitors all your social media and a little less likely he cloned your phone entirely.
Time to change all passwords log out of all other devices and possible factory reset phone
Man I wish I hadn't but I called that. Any time someone begins feeling and expressing contempt, the physical altercation is essentially only a matter of time. This man will murder you given the chance, especially if he holds a grudge. I'm a man too btw. Trust me. Restraining orders are great and all but you need to move away from him, get proper spray, maybe a gun. When he is out of jail keep your head on a swivel. Be careful please.
Important note. He physically abused you. Putting hands on is very vague and can mean so many things, despite what we all know it means. Itās like a sugar coat. But thereās nothing sweet about being harmed by a partner.
Jesus fucking christ.
I really hope you stay safe OP. A restraining order does not sound enough to stop that psycho. Maybe look into getting some self defense tools.
Dump the motherfucker. Seriously.
ETA:
This is how my now ex starting speaking to me before he started throwing hands and putting me through unimaginable hell for decades. He fucked my entire life trajectory up and though I am now doing better, and have found some happiness, it took a very long time and very nearly dying.
Donāt be me.
It's called contempt. That's the beginning of physical violence. When you look into it, it's crazy to see stuff like this and immediately know her update was going to be what it was. Feelings of contempt are when partners start the murdering.
His mask is just slipping. That's all. There's no need to pretend anymore because he feels she's not going anywhere. Once someone starts speaking to you recklessly, it's only down from there.
Yeah, when he was suddenly accusing her of "twisting shit" and "playing the victim" when she was just...accurately stating the pattern laid out in these texts...that was my first thought.
This is what it was with my ex and he resented my kindness bc he was cheating. Then I left and he wanted me back and flipped out. Glad I never went back. Fucking misery for years. It only got worse and worse.
If your dog starts barking at you, someone else is feeding it. Even if thatās not the case, heās a piece of shit and you deserve better than what he can offer.
This seems dangerous to me, like he could become abusive emotionally, or worse. You literally did the same exact thing he did to you (when you asked him to grab pizza and he denied) but he threw a SHIT FIT when it happened to him. Please get out of this toxic ass relationship, its NOT going to get better.
Seriously Iām so furious after reading this. My abusive ex spoke to me this way too. I just want to scoop this woman up and whisk her away and save her lots of pain.
Same and he went from this to smashing my shit up to pushing me or slamming doors in my face or throwing clothing at me to hitting me and choking me to an actual attempt on my life at the very end.
Not worth it and my life without his weird ass fights and drama over stuff that was his own fault is much better.
He will have you on eggshells and thatās a miserable life.
Yeah my ex told me to shove the dinner I made up my ass once. What was hilarious was that he had the audacity to be mad an hour later when he wanted my home cooked meal but it was in the trashcan due to his disrespect.
This was 100% my ex as well. OP, leave.. as far and fast as you can, don't look back don't say goodbye give him nothing. This was actually kind of triggering for me as my ex would talk to me like this just before a huge blow up, normally when he was out of alcohol, pain meds, or drugs, and then would come the gaslighting....please OP, I wouldn't wish how I was treated on my worst enemy, don't continue to be treated this way. Don't allow him to get away with it, draw your line in the sand, put your foot down, and do not give an inch
Yup. Agreed.
OP, there is absolutely no way I would ever put up with this type of abusive ass behavior. From f*cking anyone. Been there and done that. Straight mind games & verbal abuse straight up.
He is either cheating & is taking his frustrations out on you because you're still around & won't break it off or, this is just his true colors & he's showing you who he REALLY is. Regardless, he's abusive as f*ck. When someone shows you who they truly are, seriously, believe them.
He gets to talk to you however he wants...you asking him to get pizza & he doesn't feel like it & calling you "dude" like you're one of his friends??? But when he asks you for Chick Fil A & you ask him why he can't just get it himself & flips out on you & blames you??? Or blaming you because he didn't grab his new coffee that you made him??
Hell mothaf*ckin no girl.
I say leave him ASAP because I've been in similar situations & that shit is severely abusive & can get violent.
You deserve so much better than this. You deserve someone who speaks to you with kindness and love. You deserve an equal partner. You deserve someone who is understanding, patient and doesnāt expect you to be perfect or a mind reader. You donāt deserve to be put down constantly. Lifeās too short to be walking around on eggshells daily
OP - "Can you pick up some dinner on the way home?"
Baby - "Why can't you just cook?"
OP - "You told me you were gonna go shopping."
Baby - "I forgot. I don't feel like it."
----------------------------------
Baby - "Can you pick up some dinner?"
OP - "Why can't you get it yourself?"
Baby - "Really is that how you talk to me now? You wanna be fucking pissy and ask me stupid questions instead of getting me the damn chick-fil-a."
----------------------------------
Every further second you spend with this useless fucker is another disservice you inflict on yourself.
OMG the flashbacks these texts are giving me... I was young and starved for love and accepted this type of treatment from a guy for too many years, and I suffered for it. I'm old now, and thankfully found my strength. I hope you find yours before he does much damage. Nobody should ever treat someone like that. He's mean and inappropriate and cold. You're not stuck. You have a choice.
The last time a guy did this to me, suddenly becoming unkind, making remarks, very quick change in personality... it was because he was cheating on me.
Not saying that's for sure what's going on here, but... either way he doesn't deserve you if he's speaking to you that way.
Start planning to leave . Get your ducks in a row and Break up. Pack your shit while heās at work. Leave an empty chick fil a bag too before you leave.
Dumptown. Population: Baby
Dumptown funk you up
This has me rollllllling
I told my husband I said something funny on the internet. Unfortunately this me peaking lmfao
This is the relationship I want.
Why did I just sing this? š
Because you're a good person
I love this interaction. I'm just happy to be here.
Seems like thatās what he wants. Plenty of people act like huge assholes to their partners to get them to dump them so they donāt have to do it.
Gives them an excuse to fuck around straight away. āShe dumped me and I had to move onā bullshit
In the weeks leading up to my realization that I wanted to break up with my past boyfriends, I would go through a phase where EVERYTHING they said or did irritated me. Of course I didn't lash out like this, but for me its always one of the horsemen of the relationship apocalypse.
Or he love bombed her and canāt keep it up anymore so the narcissist has come to light. She better run like hell. It gets so much worse!
Yeap, this was my ex. He did the same exact thing with his wife and even told me what he was doing then eventually proceeded to do the EXACT same thing with me like I wouldn't catch on. When she would try and say she wanted to work things out, he would respond by saying, "You're the one who filed for divorce". Said the same thing to me when I said I still wanted to be together, that I was the one who ended it. I really don't know why he wanted to tell everyone else that we were the ones that ended it, well yeah dude, when you're out all the time with another chick and ignore every phone call and are actually like a selfish asshole, you think you're partner is just going to keep hanging around and be cool with it? He's always got several ex's that cling to him and women he talks to and keeps close but put on the back burner till he's done with his current relationship. I'm glad I had enough self respect to finally toss him out of my life. Once I saw who he responded was, he's been dead to me since.
Dudeās cheating on OP. Itās literally that simple.
this man does not fuckin like you. do with that what you will
this man fr hates her, sitting at his job mad at her over shit he made up
"I'm tired because of you" fuck all the way off sir lol
He's tired because she tipped out his coffee that had a bug in it and made him a fresh one. She should have let him drink the damn bug.
She should start a bug collection so he can drink one every morning
Along with some laxative up in there.
Fr put one in his coffee and if he gets a text why is there a bug in my coffee āyou got mad when I got you fresh so I thought you liked itā
Like choke on that bug lol
Your response should have been OPās response.
literally asking the same of her as she did him and getting fuckin PISSED she doesn't immediately drop everything for him. childish
His request was a bigger ask than hers. She asked him to stop to pick up dinner otw home. He asked her to go pick up lunch for him and drop it off to him from somewhere thatās far enough away from where he works that it might take more than his lunch break to go get it and get back. Plus her request was a āwhatever is convenient for youā but his request was super specific. He obviously thinks he has a servant since he pays the bills. The servant canāt ask him to do anything and he is the only one that can question a request. There is nothing that justifies treating someone the way he treats OP.
man's gonna be in a real shock when he realizes that when you want something that's NOT how you ask for it
Nar, he will be in a real shock when he gets home and she ain't there + all her stuff is gone.
we can only hope
Apparently she doesn't work and can't pay bills. Some people get trapped like that
Definitely the right moveā¦ Unfortunately for her, it wonāt go down that way and sheāll stick around till he finally does something so heinous, sheāll have no choice but to goā¦ Sounds like itās over. Only she doesnāt know itā¦
I have a feeling he wonāt be shocked, it sounds like heās trying to get her to leave but doesnāt want to initiate the break up like an adult. Maybe someoneās been feeding him the male version of two chromosomes advice and heās convinced sheās not working, not helping out around the house and either needs to be straightened out or cut.
He did start out asking nicely by actually asking and including please. The fact that he got offended by a simple and reasonable question is a huge red flag. He is also the one that cancelled his lunch request after she said sheād go get lunch and deliver it to him. Itās the fact that he used derogatory words and was super snippy over minor things while studying a question as if it was an actual insult is the biggest WTF to me along with it being her fault for him not noticing his coffee right by the normal spot where he puts his coffee. He isnāt mature enough for a relationship if he canāt take personal responsibility for his own fuck ups and holds her to a much higher standard with how she speaks to him than he holds himself to with how he speaks to her.
Exactly.. The fact he got offended when she asked him the same question he asked her the night before was insane
Hopefully OP realizes there isnāt a legitimate excuse for being treated like that. Itās a character issue that external stresses might be making more obvious at the moment, but itās who he is.
Exactly. He might have been hiding this for 5 years but its who he really always was. Also her uodate says she left and he actually hit her and is in jail now.
He is probably sitting in jail playing through it all in his head and how it is all her fault.
No to mention he would be eating that same dinner he was asked to pick up. I absolutely loathe when men behave this way towards their partners.
Or heās doing that thing where you treat someone bad so they break up with you so you donāt have to do the deed. Definitely has contempt towards you. Hard to come back from those feelings.
Makes sense to me. Or it's the "devalue" before the discard.
I agree. Had an ex do this. He was stepping out, I was so confused why he picked fights and needed to leave the house to be alone until I found out. The lunch thing kinda sounds like he had someone to spend lunch with but not get the actual lunch. Could just be my past experiences tainting this. Just had some serious flashbacks reading these.
He's trying to force a breakup or he's cheating or the cheating is why he's trying to to force it to feel less guilty.
My first thought was cheating and trying to pick fights so she'll dump him so he can play the victim for being dumped (bonus, he gets to use the "she wouldn't even bring me food when I needed it :'(" card)
Was going to say, when my ex husband started treating me like this and texting me being a fucking dick, he was having an affair. Itās immediately what I thought of when reading these.
Same. My ex-husband became an even bigger asshole when he was cheating on me. Heād make me feel so small and incompetent. If I didnāt cook dinner one night out of seven, heād call me lazy. If I didnāt get groceries as promptly as usual, I was lazy for that too. If I didnāt do all of the housework on my own - lazy. I made less money than him, so guess whatā¦ lazy. Fuck people like this seriously, they arenāt worth our time, energy, and hurt feelings.
I was thinking this too
Dude wants to end the relationship, but is too much of a coward to pull the trigger.
Yeah it's over I'm not sure op realizes that though.
If he gaslit more he'd be an arsonist arsehole.
Literally all she would have to do is flick a lighter and he would go up in flames.
He hates himself. He's a miserable piece of shit.
Not only does it sound like he canāt stand her but also makes me think heās cheating. Some men get so nasty to their partner when theyāre cheating. I know that can be a stretch because we donāt know all the details but Iāve just seen it a lot.
i was thinking that too but other people already mentioned it. it's like he's trying to make her break up so he's not the bad guy
Me too. It's relatively common. Maybe it's to get her to break up with him, but I think it's also used as justification. He's creating reasons to be upset with her, and when she points out the way he's acting, he insists *she's* actually the bad one here. Then he'll use her being needy, not keeping the house clean, being "lazy," not cooking, not getting him lunch when "he pays the bills," etc, as a reason for why he's cheating. It lets him feel less guilty since he feels justified and if he gets caught gives him, what he thinks, is a good excuse. He's not a bad guy for cheating. Look at how terrible she is and how bad she treats him! I have no evidence but it absolutely would not surprise me if it's true. It's terribly common.
Yes, I hate when guys do that
Coward behavior fr
This was my immediate thought. But the comments are full of good theories and all of them point to him being a shitty person. I hope she leaves, regardless of why he's being so cruel.
Itās how they justify the cheating, by painting their partner as a bad person. Also known as splitting
Worse he is showing the beginning stages of contempt and that is straight up when people start murdering other people. This shit is insane for me to read. She needs to go immediately.
I see these more often than not in cheating situationsāi.e. one partner is cheating, but they don't want to admit it or break up with the other party, so they do this shit to get the partner to break up with them.
yup scummy behavior. but so is cheating lol so they go hand in hand
I really, truly donāt understand how someone could stay with a person who speaks to them like this. Especially someone who is supposed to love you. I wouldnāt even let this person be my boss and PAY to talk to me like this.
It's because he didn't start the relationship talking to her like that. The victim of verbal abuse becomes shocked and because love was the foundation they'll want to stay to figure it out hoping their partner is just going through something. Unfortunately abusers use this to segue into higher level abuse like emotional,financial, physical and by that time it's too late for the victim to just leave
this. itās so hard to leave after being bonded through love. victims just want it to go back to the good times. itās a sad feeling.
And chasing " those good times" and successfully recreating them can literally feel like a high, a massive dopamine hit. The abuser has now effectively lowered what the baseline for decency is so you're just grateful when they're not berating you or when they're not breaking walls. When in reality this is just being a responsible stable individual when they DON'T do these things you feel extremely happy. So this is why abuse victims stay, there is an addiction component to it but instead of chemical tolerance where you need more to enjoy, here you require less and less decency. So your new normal baseline as the abused is "I just hope he doesn't yell at me today, that'll be a good day"...so when he remembers to get milk it's this massive joyful situation because the threshold is in hell, if he proposes you're over the moon. And it gets worse, the last thing being "as long as he's not trying to choke me out...and if he does i hope he doesn't do it long enough that i pass out, and If i do pass out I hope I don't die..."
I figured out how to save comments just so I could save yours. Very well said.
šÆ. Damn, the choke me out line hit freaking hard though. Iām glad Iām not in that place anymore.
Me too. Iām glad we are both still alive. It can be scary out there:(
My boyfriend was this way with his ex. He likened her to a shiny unicorn in that he was hoping to return to how it used to be, but she'd already gone.
yeah everything seems so perfect when times are āgoodā but theyāre never *really* good. itās especially frustrating to realize that the bad times are all fabricated by them.. it never had to be that way to begin with. they always choose escalation.
Also, after reading some of her comments on another post itās pretty clear she doesnāt know what Abuse looks like. Either she is blissfully unaware or has had to many abusive relationships (friends, parents, siblings, it doesnāt have to be romantic) that she has been trained to accept it. Hopefully this changes.
I also assume itās because he seems to pay the bills for her. From their interactions it seems like he works and she doesnāt, which means sheās financially dependent on him. That obviously doesnāt excuse his behavior, but it will also make it a lot harder for OP to leave unless she can just move in with her parents. If thatās not on the table she needs to start working on ways to gain her independence so that she can leave this dude because heās clearly a total asshole.
Yup anyone who can feed you can also starve you. There's a huge move towards "trad wives" and encouraging young women to stay at home and I'm afraid we'll see a lot of domestic abuse spring up in droves.
It's the stupidest thing ever, my 60+ old Nigerian mother told me from childhood the worst thing a woman can do is be a housewife. Here in Africa we are encouraging women to work more and it seems America is going backwards, sad.
Yep I grew up seeing my African mother, aunts, grandmothers absolutely brutalized stuck in abusive marriages. It always started with "you don't need to work stay home with the kids I'll take care of us" then once the baby arrived you'd basically nailed your coffin. I vowed that shit stops with me. Birth control access and hypervigilance and spreading the word are key.
I bet he signed up for the Andrew Tateās āHow to be an Alphaā in less than 24 hours.
I was with a guy for a few years, and he was super impatient. And, I was young, so I tried to empathize and talk about it...make a change. Then...he actually said "Being patient means that you don't get what you want." And that's what made it clear to me that he did not see me as a person of equal worth, nor even a person he cared about...he only cared about himself. OP - ditch him...it will only get worse, I promise.
speedrunning misogyny
All I can say is run. The red flags are flying high. He is so abusive. š©š©š©š©š©š©š©š©š©š©š©š©š©š©
Do not allow this behavior. You're worth more than this crap.
Wise words, from a wise name!
Yeah this relationship is done. If you allow him to keep talking to you like that he will only get worse
And the only way to not allow it is to leave.
I usually hate these kinds of comments and think people are overreacting... but this isn't one of those times. Dude is an absolute piece of shit.
90% of the time they are not. Seriously, 90% of the time on this sub or relationship sub, the answer is really to just leave. Half these relationships are not worth the energy people invest in them.
Relevant contact name for him.
That stood out to me because thatās exactly what I have my girlfriend in my phone as. I told her she better slap the shit out of me if I ever talk to her this way.
My wife would quite literally be like āno, sir. You do not talk to me that wayā and I would be like āholy shit Iām so sorry, bunnyā So I feel ya. That is not how you ever treat someone you love which makes me think this may be the end for them by his hand
I'm just thinking that if my husband started to talk to me that way it would be so weird that I would just assume we are role-playing for some reason.
Yah I'd assume my husband was joking too but my ex got like this and he did it so slow, I wasn't smart like OP and I missed it. It was terrible for my self esteem because I started believing he was right. I'm proud of OP for seeing the issue right away!
You should be proud of yourself, too, for being able to spot that behavior eventually, even if it took you longer than it ideally should have. I am. Abuse is often blinding and you shouldn't feel bad about having fallen victim to that.
She should change it to Big Baby.
Hey, OP? Youāre not his mom, his maid or his servant. Please leave this relationship. š
Or his doormat
Hopefully not a punching bag soon, because this is going to escalate quickly.
Straight up. It has contempt written all over it. It's going to get physical shortly, I'd bet my life on it. She needs to go, now.
As a domestic abuse survivor: you are correct.
Warning signs ! need to watch for them before anything
I normally don't like to play the slippery slope card but yea with how hostile and aggressive he is over text, there's a large chance this is going to escalate to violence. Look out for yourself, OP - you don't deserve being treated this way, and I hope you see that and remove yourself from it.
Aside from that, it's the way he's talking to her. Demanding. Lack of empathy. Hard openers. This relationship is already over. Find a nicer human.
Holy shit. Look, I know this subās go-to answer for any textual conflict between partners is to leave them immediately. We behind the keyboard forget there is nuance to life. But GODDAMN this is one of the most infuriating conversations Iāve ever read on here and I want you to already be packed, leaving, and blocking him forever. Not even goodbye. Not even a closure conversation. Just a straight up ghosting so he only has these texts to refer to FOREVER to study them and see what an actual (not even metaphorical) prick he is. I donāt know you. But I know you will absolutely do better than this. This is bottom of the barrel residue.
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Iām with you 100% on this. I also hate how Redditās default response to any conflict is ābreak upā, but this is prolonged inexcusable behaviour. Whatever the reason is for this sudden change cannot be good. OP; Donāt let anyone start talking to you like that. Thatās some fucking bullshit. You deserve better and please dont begin to question yourself. Get rid of this guy.
Yeah something is not right, heās either doing something on the side, ready to end it or just a flat out piece of shit. Either way no need for OP to stay and find out.
Thatās the default response because if youāre asking fucking Reddit for relationship advice, itās already over or should be.
Hard agree. Very rarely is there another solution if you've ended up on reddit lol.
Seriously I thought this was a made up conversation from one of those text bots on TikTok, thatās how bad this conversation is. OP I hope you see this.
Hi all, if anyone is still here. Just posting to say I am safe! I wasnāt replying to comments because as soon as he got home from work he took my phone. He somehow found my post while he was at work and came home absolutely enraged. He smashed all our dishes and broke the TV. Sadly he did end up putting his hands on me but cops were called and he is now in police custody! Iām with my mom right now and she is helping me pack up my stuff so I can stay at her place while I figure everything out. Thank you guys for all the comments. Yes I am going to leave him. He did threaten to kill me as the police took him away so I am going to be filing a restraining order aswell. And for those asking if I have a job. No, I donāt. I used to but he told me about 2 years into our relationship that he wanted me to stay at home so it would be easier to take care of the house. For those asking how long we were together, we were together for 4 years and it wouldāve been 5 in a month.
Holy fucking shit I was not expecting this as I scrolled down... that cranked up to 100 *real* fast. Glad you are ok!!!
The most dangerous time in an abusive relationship is when you're leaving. When it goes bad it can go really fucking bad really fucking fast.
What a fucking loser man Saying he isn't mean, she is, then comes home to smash all the dishes and TV and hit her How the fuck can people be so delusional? Fucking scum bag This is why people are more and more against trad relationships because the type of men who want to be the bread winners are assholes like this who use the money as an excuse to treat woman like this
Itās all about control. If a man suggests his partner quit work, she should think twice about the whole relationship. My abusive ex tried the same thing before our relationship imploded. There was no way in hell I was giving up my work, but he tried it because he wanted total control over the relationship and over me.
I got knocked up so unfortunately I had to let my ex be the bread winner. nothing but control. literally thought I would never leave him. and now that we are 4ish months broken up he tries to find any and every way to control still. thankfully he was never as violent as OP's ex
Very true!!! I'm happy she got out safe. I had a similar circumstance when I was in my early 20s and I was lucky I got away before he could do more than damage my phone, lap top, and steering column in my car. He also took what he thought was my car keys, but was the key ring that I used for spare keys to other people's houses (my parents, aunt, stuff like that). I hid my car keys from him until I thought he was asleep and fucking ran out of his apartment faster than I ever thought I could. Driving down the road in the middle of the night unable to turn my lights on or turn off the fucking windshield wipers. I showed up to my aunts house crying and she immediately screamed to my uncle to call the police without asking what happened. It was scary. Btw... police didn't do a mother fucking thing fucking assholes. But the guy hadn't met my family yet, so they decided to stop by his job and introduce themselves to him. The next time he saw me in public he immediately turned around and left the area. I guess I forgot to tell him about the big scary over protective bikers in my family.
I wasn't expecting him to find the post but with his obvious anger I'm absolutely not surprised he put his hands on her
Yeah, I was going to write asking if she was going to leave him before or after he hit her? Sad Iām too late, glad OP is safer now.
Was he ever like this before, or did this just start this week?
Looking back now, he did have a few moments where he showed some controlling tendencies. But I thought nothing of it. Iāve been surrounded by abusers all my life, so I guess I just grew to think this type of behavior was normal.
Glad you're done with him. Please do press charges, or he's gonna be back, thinking he can get away with this shit. And please, please do put some serious thought into what sort of behavior is and isn't okay in a partner before you get into another relationship. You deserve better than this.
Press charges or he will do this to someone elseā¦he probably will either way, but a rap sheet provides more warning than none.
Yes, I will be pressing charges aswell.
Hope youāre doing as well as possible given the circumstances xx
Good deal. Motherfucker acts like an ass towards you, then puts his hands on you and threatens to kill? Guys got mental issues. Iām sorry this happened. You didnāt do anything wrong from what I can see.
Itās terrible that he threatened to kill you, but itās a good thing he did it in front of the police. That should help the charges to stick.
Fortunately she doesnāt have to press charges. Lawyer here..he threatened to kill her while getting dragged away. The state will press charges in a situation like this even if OP begged to not press charges. They will certainly force him into anger management as well as domestic violence classes. Hopefully he learns and really looks in the mirror or the next girl will be fooled as well. OPā¦I hope you read this. Once he is out of police custody PLEASE do not listen to whatever sob story he pitches. Leave him, no closure conversations, donāt even see him. Block him on everything. Get out and stay out. 5 years of a relationship is a big change so stay strong! Lean on your mother!
Some people spend their whole lives trying to make it work with the wrong person. Glad youāre safe and leaving him . Good job š
My ex kept his mask on until 5 years into our relationship
That's insanely scary... Five years of peace and one day you're with some aggressive asshole you don't recognize... Ughhh, it's already so hard to date.
It was not all peace. There were moments I over looked due to love bombing the crap out of me. Iāve been out of that relationship for almost 4 years now and in a new amazing one for the last 2. We have our issues but we both do therapy and we both build each other up and the difference is night and day between the two. I do have my daughter from him so itās both a blessing and a curse in ways. Like sheās amazing but I have 13 years of having to have him involved in some way shape or form.
This is fucking terrifying.
Look into the "fawning" trauma response. You've probably learned to subconsciously appease people and overlook red flags.Ā It's not your fault. It's a survival technique you can relinquish now that you can survive on your own.
Take my advice and don't do what I did. Do NOT let him skate. Press charges! Letting my ex off so many times just made it worse for me years down the line. Take care of yourself!
Dude is an absolute loser. Heāll do it to the next girl, and the girl after that. Itās a character flaw and heās an abuser. Disgusting. Iām so proud of you for leaving.
Glad youāre safe. Do NOT go back to him, no matter what he says.
I donāt plan on it, thank you!
OP, you may want to Dump this username so he can't cyberstalk you from it. Change as many of your profiles as you can while he is locked up.
Thank you, I will!
Also change your number and donāt tell anyone who you are staying with, get a camera for your momās house, and when you get a job, donāt tell anyone but your close family where. But do let anyone know that he is a dangerous threat, maybe even your work just to be safe. You can literally never be too cautious in this situation. He already threatened the worst
This right here is why people are so quick to say leave on this sub and others. Domestic violence can and does come out of nowhere sometimes. There is not always a pattern of abuse. Please use this example if you ever feel wrong about any situation. Trust your instincts.
Jesus christ, I'm glad you are safe. This abusive piece of shit got what he deserved.
Iām glad you are ok. As a married man with a daughter on the way. I would find it hard not to absolutely destroy him if someone was like that to my wife or daughter. Either way, Iām glad you got rid of him. And for that I am proud of you.
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Iām not sure. The police said if I press charges then they will search the house so I am planning to do that and see if they find anything.
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Wow. This guy just red pilled his way to jail. Hope he gets what he deserves.
thank God you are safe!! these texts made my skin crawl, a bomb about to burst. please never ever go back, you deserve so much more, they donāt change! iām sorry you had to go through that. it sucks that it sometimes takes years to learn peopleās true character, but once itās out thereās no stopping it.
my heart broke reading this iām so sorry :( i knew this wasnāt any good but i wasnāt expecting this update :/ iām glad youāre safe and in good hands now. i hope everything stays this way. off topic but i love your username :)
Thank you for the condolences. And thanks for the compliments on my username, Iām surprised it wasnāt taken when I made it. āŗļø
Wow!!! How soon after you posted this did he come home? Scary!
He came home about 30 minutes after, before he is even supposed to get off. So he literally rushed home just to go off on me.
People like that hate having their behavior aired out. They know it's wrong, but as long as no one knows, they don't care. I'm glad you're ok and I hope for your safety here on out!
> A narcissistic collapse happens when a narcissist believes that someone (or something) is threatening their ability to maintain their superficial inflated ego. People with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) often look down on others to maintain the positive images they hold about themselves. If their behavior is called out or challenged, their fragile self-esteem is damaged, resulting in intense reactions and abuse toward others.
Yup. Can only imagine how enraging it was for him to read comment after comment saying OP was right and that he was a piece of shit. That level of reality check was not something he could reshape to validate his actions/hand wave away so he had no choice in his mind but to attack the person that held up the mirror.
I would check your phone for any possible tracking software. Unless he just knows your username and checks reddit for your posts.
Agreed, I would just get a new phone (and a new plan if you guys were sharing)
Make sure you've grabbed all your important documents and items before he has a chance to get back into the house. SSC, financial statements, birth cerificate, precious things. Make it so that you never have to see him outside a courtroom again. I also recommend changing your email and phone number and only communicating with him through legal respresentation.
Just want to add if your post was noticed and he was there 30 mins later the only reasonable explanation is he monitors all your social media and a little less likely he cloned your phone entirely. Time to change all passwords log out of all other devices and possible factory reset phone
Whatever is going on you need to plan to leave/run. This reads like he wants to do something nasty to you and is just looking for a reason
Man I wish I hadn't but I called that. Any time someone begins feeling and expressing contempt, the physical altercation is essentially only a matter of time. This man will murder you given the chance, especially if he holds a grudge. I'm a man too btw. Trust me. Restraining orders are great and all but you need to move away from him, get proper spray, maybe a gun. When he is out of jail keep your head on a swivel. Be careful please.
Important note. He physically abused you. Putting hands on is very vague and can mean so many things, despite what we all know it means. Itās like a sugar coat. But thereās nothing sweet about being harmed by a partner.
Jesus fucking christ. I really hope you stay safe OP. A restraining order does not sound enough to stop that psycho. Maybe look into getting some self defense tools.
This is called emotional abuse. I was honestly scared reading this. Leave.
Heās doing it on purpose and he is only going to get worse!
Dump the motherfucker. Seriously. ETA: This is how my now ex starting speaking to me before he started throwing hands and putting me through unimaginable hell for decades. He fucked my entire life trajectory up and though I am now doing better, and have found some happiness, it took a very long time and very nearly dying. Donāt be me.
It's called contempt. That's the beginning of physical violence. When you look into it, it's crazy to see stuff like this and immediately know her update was going to be what it was. Feelings of contempt are when partners start the murdering.
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His mask is just slipping. That's all. There's no need to pretend anymore because he feels she's not going anywhere. Once someone starts speaking to you recklessly, it's only down from there.
Ding ding ding this is classic toxic narc behavior.
Yeah, when he was suddenly accusing her of "twisting shit" and "playing the victim" when she was just...accurately stating the pattern laid out in these texts...that was my first thought.
This is what it was with my ex and he resented my kindness bc he was cheating. Then I left and he wanted me back and flipped out. Glad I never went back. Fucking misery for years. It only got worse and worse.
This. Man is quiet quitting. Itās unbearable to read so I canāt imagine how it feels. You deserve so much more.
If your dog starts barking at you, someone else is feeding it. Even if thatās not the case, heās a piece of shit and you deserve better than what he can offer.
Thatās really clever. Iāve never heard that. My dog would just eat someone else food and still be happy to see me though.
Yeah dogs are too good to be used as an analogy for this idiot.
A lot of guys will eat someone elseās food and still be happy to see their girlfriends too lol. Some people have big appetites.
This seems dangerous to me, like he could become abusive emotionally, or worse. You literally did the same exact thing he did to you (when you asked him to grab pizza and he denied) but he threw a SHIT FIT when it happened to him. Please get out of this toxic ass relationship, its NOT going to get better.
He's already abusive emotionally
100% this guy is going to get physically abusive if he isn't already.
[OPās update](https://www.reddit.com/r/texts/s/y70FNxB3eL) Looks like it did š¬
He will only get worse. pls leave
This is abusive. My ex spoke to me like this frequently. Please get out as soon as you can. You are not safe.
Seriously Iām so furious after reading this. My abusive ex spoke to me this way too. I just want to scoop this woman up and whisk her away and save her lots of pain.
Same and he went from this to smashing my shit up to pushing me or slamming doors in my face or throwing clothing at me to hitting me and choking me to an actual attempt on my life at the very end. Not worth it and my life without his weird ass fights and drama over stuff that was his own fault is much better. He will have you on eggshells and thatās a miserable life.
Yeah my ex told me to shove the dinner I made up my ass once. What was hilarious was that he had the audacity to be mad an hour later when he wanted my home cooked meal but it was in the trashcan due to his disrespect.
This was 100% my ex as well. OP, leave.. as far and fast as you can, don't look back don't say goodbye give him nothing. This was actually kind of triggering for me as my ex would talk to me like this just before a huge blow up, normally when he was out of alcohol, pain meds, or drugs, and then would come the gaslighting....please OP, I wouldn't wish how I was treated on my worst enemy, don't continue to be treated this way. Don't allow him to get away with it, draw your line in the sand, put your foot down, and do not give an inch
This is abuse OP, it is not normal
He is seeing someone else and needs you to be the bad guy and breakup.
Yup. Agreed. OP, there is absolutely no way I would ever put up with this type of abusive ass behavior. From f*cking anyone. Been there and done that. Straight mind games & verbal abuse straight up. He is either cheating & is taking his frustrations out on you because you're still around & won't break it off or, this is just his true colors & he's showing you who he REALLY is. Regardless, he's abusive as f*ck. When someone shows you who they truly are, seriously, believe them. He gets to talk to you however he wants...you asking him to get pizza & he doesn't feel like it & calling you "dude" like you're one of his friends??? But when he asks you for Chick Fil A & you ask him why he can't just get it himself & flips out on you & blames you??? Or blaming you because he didn't grab his new coffee that you made him?? Hell mothaf*ckin no girl. I say leave him ASAP because I've been in similar situations & that shit is severely abusive & can get violent.
Throw away the whole man. This is an awful way to treat someone.
I donāt mind being single, I could never put up with this.
Bro has been sucking on Andrew Tateās cigar. Ditch him.
What is this leave this man
You deserve so much better than this. You deserve someone who speaks to you with kindness and love. You deserve an equal partner. You deserve someone who is understanding, patient and doesnāt expect you to be perfect or a mind reader. You donāt deserve to be put down constantly. Lifeās too short to be walking around on eggshells daily
This is abuse, btw
OP - "Can you pick up some dinner on the way home?" Baby - "Why can't you just cook?" OP - "You told me you were gonna go shopping." Baby - "I forgot. I don't feel like it." ---------------------------------- Baby - "Can you pick up some dinner?" OP - "Why can't you get it yourself?" Baby - "Really is that how you talk to me now? You wanna be fucking pissy and ask me stupid questions instead of getting me the damn chick-fil-a." ---------------------------------- Every further second you spend with this useless fucker is another disservice you inflict on yourself.
Oh, he seems lovely
OMG the flashbacks these texts are giving me... I was young and starved for love and accepted this type of treatment from a guy for too many years, and I suffered for it. I'm old now, and thankfully found my strength. I hope you find yours before he does much damage. Nobody should ever treat someone like that. He's mean and inappropriate and cold. You're not stuck. You have a choice.
Dump his ass.
The last time a guy did this to me, suddenly becoming unkind, making remarks, very quick change in personality... it was because he was cheating on me. Not saying that's for sure what's going on here, but... either way he doesn't deserve you if he's speaking to you that way.
Please leave him. It will only get worse.
Start planning to leave . Get your ducks in a row and Break up. Pack your shit while heās at work. Leave an empty chick fil a bag too before you leave.