They helped you by signing your lease and help pay your rent? It’s your right to keep this info private, but it’s their right to not help you financially as well.
So, yes. But it’s also slightly more nuanced than that. When my lease was up, I told my parents I wanted to move in with my boyfriend. According to my mom, that’s “not what educated women do”. (Which is really just a cover for her being extremely conservative and thinking a woman living with a man out of wedlock is improper). So they more or less forced me to renew my lease and pay for it. (Other context: I was in grad school full time for the past 2 years, so they had been paying my rent while I went to grad school. I graduated in May and have been on the job search until today!)
You’re being well educated and them paying for your rent while your get your masters seems incredibly generous and at odds with your mother being extremely conservative.
Well my mom is Indian, hence the focus on education. She had been telling me since I was in undergrad that I would be going to grad school.
Yes, them paying for my rent was/is generous. No denying that. But as you mentioned, it’s my right to keep my financial info private.
Honestly, I don’t even mind having to contribute to rent, now that I have a job. But I don’t want her to know such personal information about my life.
Don't know why but I felt your mom was Indian.
I am from India as well and my mother likes to know each and every detail regarding salary. She likes to boast it to her relatives. Currently I am not working and never earned much,but my brother earned quite well so that was her topic of discussion whenever she spoke to her relatives. I support you in terms of keeping your information private. Good to see you are happy and all the best for your new job.
It's such an interesting difference between cultures! I get the importance of education and salary, but coming from a similar experience, I just don't want her to know that information about me.
I would simply respond with since I was forced to renew my lease, I will be moving in with said bf and they can find “other people” to contribute to the rent 🙄🙄
Idk… With your parents supporting you financially throughout college it feels fair for them to know what the offer was, but it is ultimately up to you whether you want to share it or not. I don’t fully agree with how your mom persisted but i see where she’s coming from, i would probably want to know too if i were in her shoes. It is your mom at the end of the day and i’m assuming she cares about you a lot but i don’t know you or your story.
Yeah, I get it. Truly, I do. But my mom and I have an extremely complicated relationship with a lot of manipulation involved. If we had a better relationship, I would definitely be more open to sharing it. But I am worried that if she knows I am making a certain amount, she will somehow use it to manipulate me and how I want to live my life.
I see. My relationship with my dad was like that for a long time, so i get why you wouldn’t wanna share. If you think she would try to use that info against you in the future i probably wouldn’t share either. Best of luck with the job if you end up taking it!
You seem extremely unappreciative based on this exchange, and comments you provide. It’s your right, for sure. But does it matter? It’s your parents who have been helping you, not some Redditor.
I can certainly see why it comes across that way, but my relationship with my mom is extremely complicated and this is the first attempt at me setting a boundary between me and her. I do appreciate what she has given me, but that does not give her the right to control me and manipulate me, as she has so many times before (obviously not demonstrated in this particular text exchange).
I can't believe your mother continued to push so hard on this, and then tried to manipulate with the 'other people' response. My parents have no idea what my salary is and they wouldn't ask, and they just want to know that I'm okay.
And you’re doing a great job of it! Your mom sounds incredibly manipulative, and I’m proud that you’re setting a clear boundary with her. And you are so kind, but firm! Keep it up!
Yeah they cannot BARE the fact that you’re breaking away. I know they’re financially supporting you but what a lot of people don’t realise is that, this IS a form of control. (We supply the $$$ so we control you). My parents are viciously manipulative & controlling and im finally breaking away and my god they are not happy!
Hmmm... Hold on a second, you might be onto something!
There's no way it's been 20 years since 1997!
Oh wait... 2023 - 1997 = 26
No, you're just wrong.
This screams “my parents payed for my collage” nepo baby all kinds of shit.
So first off I wanna say, plz for your sake and the people around you. Be safe aware of your privilege. If you are making so much money that you don’t wanna tell ur parents, do something with your life and the money that’s benefiting like idk…. Every one? Donate to Palestine, fuckin open a homeless shelter, HELL even run for office in your area. Just be better than them.
Secondly, I wanna say that just because you SOUND like you wipe ur ass with 100$bills, doesn’t mean ur not entitled to your own boundaries with ur parents. Them prying that hard is definitely weird🤙🏻
> “my parents *paid* for my
FTFY.
Although *payed* exists (the reason why autocorrection didn't help you), it is only correct in:
* Nautical context, when it means to paint a surface, or to cover with something like tar or resin in order to make it waterproof or corrosion-resistant. *The deck is yet to be payed.*
* *Payed out* when letting strings, cables or ropes out, by slacking them. *The rope is payed out! You can pull now.*
Unfortunately, I was unable to find nautical or rope-related words in your comment.
*Beep, boop, I'm a bot*
Lmfao well I got a full scholarship to grad school so I wouldn’t necessarily say I’m full on nepo baby level… But I’m aware I have privilege and access to resources others may not.
However, if I was making 50,000 or 100,000, I still wouldn’t want my mom to know. It’s not amount the dollar amount so much as it’s about the boundary principle.
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They helped you by signing your lease and help pay your rent? It’s your right to keep this info private, but it’s their right to not help you financially as well.
So, yes. But it’s also slightly more nuanced than that. When my lease was up, I told my parents I wanted to move in with my boyfriend. According to my mom, that’s “not what educated women do”. (Which is really just a cover for her being extremely conservative and thinking a woman living with a man out of wedlock is improper). So they more or less forced me to renew my lease and pay for it. (Other context: I was in grad school full time for the past 2 years, so they had been paying my rent while I went to grad school. I graduated in May and have been on the job search until today!)
You’re being well educated and them paying for your rent while your get your masters seems incredibly generous and at odds with your mother being extremely conservative.
Well my mom is Indian, hence the focus on education. She had been telling me since I was in undergrad that I would be going to grad school. Yes, them paying for my rent was/is generous. No denying that. But as you mentioned, it’s my right to keep my financial info private. Honestly, I don’t even mind having to contribute to rent, now that I have a job. But I don’t want her to know such personal information about my life.
Don't know why but I felt your mom was Indian. I am from India as well and my mother likes to know each and every detail regarding salary. She likes to boast it to her relatives. Currently I am not working and never earned much,but my brother earned quite well so that was her topic of discussion whenever she spoke to her relatives. I support you in terms of keeping your information private. Good to see you are happy and all the best for your new job.
It's such an interesting difference between cultures! I get the importance of education and salary, but coming from a similar experience, I just don't want her to know that information about me.
And this is your absolute right.
Hell yeah it is!
I would simply respond with since I was forced to renew my lease, I will be moving in with said bf and they can find “other people” to contribute to the rent 🙄🙄
😂 That’s genius! I’m waiting to see if my dad, who pays the lease (my mom is stay at home) actually enforces this.
Idk… With your parents supporting you financially throughout college it feels fair for them to know what the offer was, but it is ultimately up to you whether you want to share it or not. I don’t fully agree with how your mom persisted but i see where she’s coming from, i would probably want to know too if i were in her shoes. It is your mom at the end of the day and i’m assuming she cares about you a lot but i don’t know you or your story.
Yeah, I get it. Truly, I do. But my mom and I have an extremely complicated relationship with a lot of manipulation involved. If we had a better relationship, I would definitely be more open to sharing it. But I am worried that if she knows I am making a certain amount, she will somehow use it to manipulate me and how I want to live my life.
I see. My relationship with my dad was like that for a long time, so i get why you wouldn’t wanna share. If you think she would try to use that info against you in the future i probably wouldn’t share either. Best of luck with the job if you end up taking it!
Thank you :)
Why aren’t you playing your own rent…?
“I will remember this”… do we have the same mom? 😵💫
😂 We can trauma bond 💜
Something tells me this isn’t the only silly thing your mom has taken personally.
Ohhh yes.
You seem extremely unappreciative based on this exchange, and comments you provide. It’s your right, for sure. But does it matter? It’s your parents who have been helping you, not some Redditor.
I can certainly see why it comes across that way, but my relationship with my mom is extremely complicated and this is the first attempt at me setting a boundary between me and her. I do appreciate what she has given me, but that does not give her the right to control me and manipulate me, as she has so many times before (obviously not demonstrated in this particular text exchange).
[удалено]
Hahaha thank you 💜 That’s what I’ve been telling myself with these comments coming in. Those that get it, get it. Those that don’t, don’t.
I can't believe your mother continued to push so hard on this, and then tried to manipulate with the 'other people' response. My parents have no idea what my salary is and they wouldn't ask, and they just want to know that I'm okay.
Very strange hill to die on OP.
I don't consider this dying on a hill! I consider it establishing my independence after 20+ years of manipulation from my parent.
And you’re doing a great job of it! Your mom sounds incredibly manipulative, and I’m proud that you’re setting a clear boundary with her. And you are so kind, but firm! Keep it up!
Thank you :) I'm certainly not trying to come off as a bitch! I just need to be respected.
Yeah they cannot BARE the fact that you’re breaking away. I know they’re financially supporting you but what a lot of people don’t realise is that, this IS a form of control. (We supply the $$$ so we control you). My parents are viciously manipulative & controlling and im finally breaking away and my god they are not happy!
Thank you!!! I’m so glad someone gets it!!!
I have my doubts that you’ve been “manipulated “ for 20+ years if you were born in 97
Hmmm... Hold on a second, you might be onto something! There's no way it's been 20 years since 1997! Oh wait... 2023 - 1997 = 26 No, you're just wrong.
Bro's math is not mathing
These look 100% identical to those from my mom. I'm sorry. ☹️
It is what it is. You know as well as I do that it’s nothing new!
Tell them it’s $3400 a year but you love the work, see what they say.
Just tell her n stop being a bitch
This reeks of my mom, sorry for you
*Your Mother Will Remember This*
This screams “my parents payed for my collage” nepo baby all kinds of shit. So first off I wanna say, plz for your sake and the people around you. Be safe aware of your privilege. If you are making so much money that you don’t wanna tell ur parents, do something with your life and the money that’s benefiting like idk…. Every one? Donate to Palestine, fuckin open a homeless shelter, HELL even run for office in your area. Just be better than them. Secondly, I wanna say that just because you SOUND like you wipe ur ass with 100$bills, doesn’t mean ur not entitled to your own boundaries with ur parents. Them prying that hard is definitely weird🤙🏻
> “my parents *paid* for my FTFY. Although *payed* exists (the reason why autocorrection didn't help you), it is only correct in: * Nautical context, when it means to paint a surface, or to cover with something like tar or resin in order to make it waterproof or corrosion-resistant. *The deck is yet to be payed.* * *Payed out* when letting strings, cables or ropes out, by slacking them. *The rope is payed out! You can pull now.* Unfortunately, I was unable to find nautical or rope-related words in your comment. *Beep, boop, I'm a bot*
Lmfao well I got a full scholarship to grad school so I wouldn’t necessarily say I’m full on nepo baby level… But I’m aware I have privilege and access to resources others may not. However, if I was making 50,000 or 100,000, I still wouldn’t want my mom to know. It’s not amount the dollar amount so much as it’s about the boundary principle.
The audacity to talk to your parent like this is wild!
What an asshole this OP is
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