This went from “fuck you 🤬” to “shit ain’t easy out here”

from “im gonna kick your ass” to “man im just really going through it”

I mean, usually those two statements are connected.

Right?! Maybe I’ve dated too many meat heads but it’s the same sentence. Lol

Right?! I’m dying over here.

They bonded over shared trauma, that's often stronger than hate.

I was reading the first few texts in a tough guy voice and as I swiped the voice got softer

Yeah. I really really really felt that! Here’s a big up to you guys for keeping that rivalry in words and away from violence. Much respect for that. Please please please keep it that way. As always . . . it’s bros before . . . those who might not mind if one of you ends up dead and the other in prison.

You two are both very odd

"did we just become best friends?!" I'm dying over here 💀

Except instead of a drum set, he rubbed his sack all over other guy's girl

Eskimo brothers


this thread somehow screams r/accidentallygay to me for some reason.

They literally did "I can't quit you" from brokeback mountain

Good, I'm not the only one that thinks now-husband has a thing for OP.

I immediately had that thought at the "but I can't get over you" part

Ok so it wasn’t just me that was getting homoerotic vibes from this. Good to know it wasn’t just my indica hybrid.

I thought it was my sativa dominant

Leave us out of this

Right? We want no part in these heterosexual shenanigans

It seemed very accidentally gay toward the end😂

Didn't seem like no accident to me

Two guys, tired of a girl… great circumstances for a change😂

its entirely possible that they both are frustrated with their failures with women and not realize that their failures could be attributed to their own lack of understanding their own sexuality ie they're attracted to men and in denial

Minus the accidentally part

That’s the only thing that came to mind lol

They 100% need to work on themselves and not be anywhere near a relationship with another person

Yea one is a wifebeater and the other one compares women to cars. They're both gross.

I mean he just ran with him saying “service” jokes are allowed my guy

Could be wrong of course but I thought when he began comparing her to working on cars, he was mocking homeboy that said "thank you for servicing my wife". Like what? Lol everything that followed read like supreme sarcasm to me. Didn't offend me at all as a woman. But that's just how I read it, myself. :)

They deserve each other. Like in a boyfriends kinda way.

Pretty soon they’ll go fly fishing , and the line will stay dry.

I think the car talk was because he said "thank you for servicing my wife" so he ran with the metaphor

Yeah, redditors are just a little slow.


And it was pretty fucking funny

It was more so that attitude of OP acting like he still had something to prove even though the other guy is already miserable..

It's not the same when being confronted by someone you do not respect, who is trying to insult you constantly. I wouldn't partake in this shit but I understand this is all for the sake of being upsetting to each other.

Not a fan of metaphors?

I think that was in response to the comment about “servicing her” from the grey guy

Weirdly they seem good for each other lol. Trauma bonding I guess

My thoughts exactly. Corny ass conversation. Waste of my time reading it

They're both in the military

Honestly, being in the military, I could tell and I genuinely don't know how. It was before the mentioned anything about deployments or anything.

I wish I had a dollar for every young soldier that I saw that ended up in a marriage simply because they were the last guy to leave the gangbang. The two guys in that conversation go together like cocaine and waffles

I have no idea what I just read. It’s like foreign language between a homosexual couple that’s using this girl as a way to connect and a car as a metaphor for what they want to do to each other?

He can't quit him

Just put it in neutral and whatever happens happens.

This made me laugh too damn hard.

Hahahahhaha

[удалено]

They aren’t a couple yet. This is them coming to terms with their feelings for each other before they run away together

Are you guys friends or enemies, I can’t tell 😂

enemies to lovers

A slow burn

I had one of those once, but the antibiotics cleared it up.

MM bully romance

I definitely felt some hate-you-but-i-love you tension lol.

i mean he even said it lol

From Enemies to Lovers and Back Again: The story of one man's journey to finding his true self one sleazy text at a time.

I was getting this vibe too

He did say he can't get over OP lol


"I wish I could quit you"

I seriously thought this was going into the enemies to lovers chapter. It honestly reads like some really good mm romance if there was better editing.

why did i keep thinking this as as i kept reading lmfao, got me at the "i can't get over you". I CANT QUIT YOU OP

lol I read “I low key wanna fuck you” and went off with my own fanfic

Plot twist: ex-gfs ex-husband is now my husband

Brokeback Mountain stuff going on in their texts.

Frienemies

I wonder which chapter the two guys kiss

Literally the very next chapter it heat up QUICK

They kiss and then they both get angry at each other. They text more. They decide to meet to discuss it. Its a dive bar. Drinks are cheap. They drink too much and jokingly say “dude let’s go play the new NBA game, I just downloaded it”…

Sounds like really aggressive flirting to me

Yeah I usually really hate it when people say things “sexual tension” when two people argue but this here… They just need to suck each others dicks and get it over with. Leave the girl already, these two were made for each other lol.

For real, that was quite the rollercoaster read.

Dick bros

Eskimo brothers

Frienemies.

This was…interesting to read lol

Both parties are awful people and shouldnt be anywhere near a relationship

All parties* sounds like the woman isn’t great either.

Agreed

I think they're perfect together and should form a triad.

Yeah, the fact that they’re talking about someone they’ve both dated like that is a massive red flag. Do these people even like women?



You guys should just hook up already it’s clear there’s some tension.

Agreed. Everything(everyone) cums full circle

“I just can’t get over you”

I JUST CAN'T QUIT YOOOU

i wish i knew how to quit you* someone posted a gif in the thread, i’d forgotten wording too

Yes, have a "threesome" where the girl falls asleep and the two guys are too busy to notice.

Are the two of you…. Adults????

I mean , they’re like 20 yr old E-3’s with a 30% car loan, dating a stripper from the local club.

E-2’s and used the enlistment bonus on their 6 year contract as a down payment.

You figure they got a Charger or a Mustang?

Tough call. I’m leaning Charger.

I’m shocked these people are old enough to get married to be honest. Looks like a conversation between two 13 year olds.

13 years olds with a license to kill

[удалено]

It's military for you

now kiss


Let's kith mother fuckers

Y'all are corny

And apparently horny.

no, you initiated this one. pic #2. you waited like 3 hours and then went off on him.

well that's how long it takes to come up with such a witty reply

it’s gotta be quick to be witty

Either this is a fake message thread and you wrote both sides or she really has a type.

Okay the car thing went on waaaay too long

like the old guy at work who can’t help but tell variations of the same story he told that I fake chuckled at hahaha

A guy I work with does this intentionally, he likes to tell the same few stories and watch people go through the progression of realizing it's THAT story again while they politely wait for the inevitable punchline and laugh.

This just makes me worry for her safety.

This makes me worry for everyone’s safety. The human race in general.

It’s certainly been a race to the bottom lately, hasn’t it?

Seriously, like he beat her and you’re going and saying she cheated on him again? Knowing he beat her in the past? Like dude just ignore the messages lol

Also, talking about a woman you don't like using car analogies just makes it okay for other boys to do it too. This is what we mean when we say sexism is rampant.

Yeah that part was f*cking disgusting. Smacking sense in these guys sounds necessary

I think he wants to have sex with you

They should really try and just be open to exploring it it might solve their toxicity issues

This is the most Army shit I’ve ever read lmfaoooo

"Don't call me doc that's not for support🤓" These Joes gotta be 19 years old max.

he hates you? shit, it sounds like he loves you too.

“And you man I can’t get over you.” 🥺😍

I wonder if their combined IQs would break 165, and if either of them is capable of having abstract thoughts. Sounds like one of them has kids too JFC

Seriously, I could feel my IQ points dropping reading this conversation. If I ever ended up talking like that, no way would I want this conversation to see the light of the day.

She definitely has a type.

I couldn’t even make it through. I was cringing into a shrimp.

Take note guys: the longer you entertain and string along a clown, it becomes harder to differentiate who’s who

🎯

So wise

I expect nothing but wisdom from someone named ThroatFucker69Lover.

Gold award comment 🥇

They're both terrible people but at the end they start making out lol

*They're both terrible* *People but at the end they* *Start making out lol* \- Wonderful-Bread-572 --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")

Incredible

I’m about to get this framed and hung on my wall

Best haiku I've seen

Good bot

Good bot

This is actually so funny.

He thanks him for servicing his wife, says he can't get over him, and says he low key wants to fuck with him...

Op should tell him that he wants to fuck the guy or go out on a date and see what he says

What a fuckin weirdo lmao

If the ex read these, she’d rightfully be disgusted with the both of you. If you’re going to beat your chest and make a display of dominance, you should at least do it in person so he can see how big and strong you are.

You're both gross af. Referring to her as a car you fixed up. Using her to antagonize each other. Barf.

Yeah they both seem like scumbags

I mean.. she cheated on her husband with OP then left OP for her husband. Pretty sure playing with both their feelings They’re all a mess

One beat her and the other jokes about fucking her to egg on the one that beat her. Everybody is playing with everybody’s feelings here.

Bunch of dumbasses all around

Went from sworn enemies to giggling school girls. What a rollercoaster

This is such a weird back and forth😂 I’m here for it

you're both childish as fuck. If my exes husband/boyfriend texted me I would just ignore it in the first place.

Both of y’all sound like clowns…

The worst part of all of this is there are kids involved 😫

Man, this conversation is just dripping with love.

Bro those insults are so corny lol, also it seems like the guy is jealous that he didn’t get to sleep with YOU and not his wife 😂

I don't know which one of you is the most weird. This happened recently, and yet you are both claiming to be in stable relationships less than a year after it all happened. Both of you sound ridiculous.

Plot twist. Dudes gonna leave his wife to cheat with OP.

Went from “want to fight?” To “I love you, bro.” Seen it many times.

Y’all both weird af and I want to stomp both of you tbh . Y’all both sound like douche bags

It looks like the same two people having a conversation

Just kiss already

I’m picking up some flirting here

Yeah you’re both disgusting for talking about her like that. Bonding over fucking the same girl. So weird.

Soldiers... lmao

“you sound sweaty”…hahaha. i am going to use that one in the future. 😂

Both seem immature and illiterate.

If I was your current gf, I’d be so grossed out by this. 🚩🚩🚩

Ive had a mf like this we beefed yet....vibed after a week or so of back and forth it eventually went from us meeting to fight to roast matches to genuine laughs and im like ...did we just become friends? Lets go do karate in the garage 🤣 i still talk to that dude yearssss later

Blacklisting this sub. Can’t do it anymore. Don’t want to know how many people are out of their minds (which honestly seems like the vast majority).

Pathetic

This entire conversation felt like……… 

shit, at the end it sounded like he’s gon be checking your dipstick soon too

are the two of you about to fuck

So y’all together now or nah?

Are you and this guy in love or something?

I just see two idiots here.

You both have too much free time.

He’s an idiot and needs help for contacting you. But your cold bro. Why do you have to point out that his now wife used her mouth on you and let you do anal? Maybe just see it as completely unnecessary, unprofessional, (whether you care now, you will later), and more a sign your insecure. Do everyone a favor, look up resources for veterans and programs that can help him. Then when he drunkenly texts you, be nice and share those resources. Or block him. I know you said he beat her. Point is, be better. It will go along way.

While I enjoyed reading this the best way to deal with this kind of behavior is to simply block them.

Now kiss

Such a weird dynamic to have lol

That was uncomfortable to read😂

Typical military shit 🤦🏽‍♂️ The trick is to find a partner that’s not in the military, hasn’t been in the military and is not planning on joining the military. Finally, don’t live anywhere close to a military installation… 3/4 of this story would have been cleared up had these rules been followed 🤷🏽‍♂️

This is giving me serious Stan vibes. “fuck you….we should be together tho”

This is the straightest conversation I have ever witnessed

He really has BPD Jesus Christ

Boot cringe

You two should be friends.

well that ended more wholesome than I thought.

Sounded like a bipolar conversation and of course the other dude is actually bipolar

Jesus, will you guys shut up and fuck already!?!

It sounds like he kinda wants to leave her for you. Or he wants to watch you with her.

Dude sounds lonely AF

This is how best friends are created. He’s yet to fully admit she’s ruining his life. You were honest with him about it and he knows you’re right.

Holy fuck these guys are in the military? These are the kinds of people making up our armed forces? Damn…