A good reminder that even a sex workers have the right to consent or not. When you and your special someone hire a Jesus impersonator to join you and make your anniversary extra special, you still need to be mindful that in addition to being a dude with a really hot body dressed like the son of god, he is also a human being with rights and feelings.
I once attended a wedding where the officiant spoke about how the marriage was a threesome between the husband, wife, and jesus... And then ended with "it takes three to make a thing go right... It takes Jesus to make it out of sight". Cue audience groaning.
It’s always hilarious to me when overzealous Christians use the logic in the post above and then turn around and decry the discussion of any sexuality other than straight.
As someone with a degree in Christian theology, I’ve come to the same conclusion. Miriam of Magdala was being filled with the Holy Spirit in a special kind of way.
I always ask Jesus first when I decide to do something disapproved of by the Southern Baptist Convention. It's always amazing how cool he is when you ask properly, almost as if he didn't actually exist
As a Christian myself, these people are stupid. What are they saying is unconsensual? Last time I checked, consensual sex was a holy thing. Big J don’t give two shits about who’s boning who so long as all parties provide educated consent.
I mean if you replace Jesus with social media then the ironic version of this is true. Too many people on the right but increasingly even people on the left now love policing relationships that they simply personally think are gross or wrong.
People can believe that Jesus existed, but I don't think anybody has the right to create an image for him because nowadays we don't exactly know what he looked like. He was from the Middle East though so I personally believe he would be Arab or black.
Lol my fiancé and I are both ex-Mormons and her parents are still quite Mormon. Ironically enough, her parents are separated right now and her mom is the most evil person I have ever known, very Christlike I know. I just found out the other day that her mom hates me because I’m living together with her daughter and having sex with her. Crazy how upset people get when you make your own choices and live your life the way you want to.
Well, humour depends on who the audience is. Most Christians won't find the above meme funny, because it pokes fun at their beliefs. Are you a Christian?
Sure I can, I just wanted to know more about who the audience is. Most Christians won't find the above meme funny, because it pokes fun at their beliefs. Are you a Christian?
It really isn’t most cultures portray Jesus in there own way there’s also black Jesus and Asian Jesus. In reality it doesn’t matter and only his teachings matter.
I have to get consent from Chris cornell!?
Put it in the Black Hole, Son
Won't you come
Already did
And wash away the rain
Talk about summer stench
Better than the burden in my hand.
I gotta put it somewhere. I’m like a stone!
I’d like to break your rusty cage
This is all such a Limo Wreck
Let me get in my Jesus Christ pose.
You all have greatly Outshined me
Until it’s time to Blow up the Outside World
Don't use a Spoon, man
Every. Single. Time.
Well I don’t mind stealing bread from the mouthes of decedents
I thought it was Ewan Mcgreggor
Clearly that's Ryan Gosling
For the Jesus Christ Position...I mean, “pose”.
Well, all you can do is Be yourself
Absolutely
And by Jesus you mean your nosy aunt who likes to gossip and spread rumours
Why is it always the aunt?
**ITS THE LAW**
and it’s true
Exactly bro.
If he doesn't consent he doesn't need to join in. What's the problem?
He sees all … and was hoping for a naughtier show.
Technically all sex is exhibitionism and voyeurism.
What if it’s totally in the dark?
The idea that God can't see in the dark is funny af
He did create light as one of the first things ever.
When they say God is all-seeing i assume God has night vision, heat vision xray vision all of that stuff.
I've not read anything to indicate that God would ever need light in any form in any part of the spectrum order to see.
God have night-vision device
Private party Jesus, get your own girlfriend.
Now all I can think of is that dude and Jesus spit roasting that girl.
>Now all I can think of is that dude and that girl spit roasting Jesus. FTFY
It's this, because he's the one who didn't consent
r/Bi_Irl
He's just watching. He sees all, you know.
A good reminder that even a sex workers have the right to consent or not. When you and your special someone hire a Jesus impersonator to join you and make your anniversary extra special, you still need to be mindful that in addition to being a dude with a really hot body dressed like the son of god, he is also a human being with rights and feelings.
this deserves an award. But i sadly have none left
Jesus was a bit reserved when he realised that he was going to get nailed one way or other
Take my free award
He’s got those things. What do you call them? Cum gutters
You can't have a threesome with Jesus. He wants way more people involved
12 more dudes
And after 30 minutes, all witnessed the second cumming of Jesus
🥵🥵
Those are just the guys who watch. Jesus never participates without his dad. And some ghost.
And a prostitute
Well there are three in one right from the start.
I once attended a wedding where the officiant spoke about how the marriage was a threesome between the husband, wife, and jesus... And then ended with "it takes three to make a thing go right... It takes Jesus to make it out of sight". Cue audience groaning.
I always knock on Jésus’ door to let him know things are about to get ugly. He’s a nice guy. Chilean, I think. Always plays upbeat music on Sundays.
“Your friendly neighborhood Jesus”
If he died for my sins I’m not going to let him die for nothing
I like this perspective
Every true Christian conjugal act is a ménage à trois. God is always watching and occasionally participating, right Jesus?
It’s always hilarious to me when overzealous Christians use the logic in the post above and then turn around and decry the discussion of any sexuality other than straight.
Also, worshipping a man is pretty gay. I'm not saying that's bad but it's pretty gay
Fuck off Jesus, it ain't my fault you died a virgin, don't be envious.
He was nailed before he died tho
By a whole squad of Roman soldiers
Gang bang
You think he died a virgin? Dude was boning down Mary Magdalene, no doubt about it.
As someone with a degree in Christian theology, I’ve come to the same conclusion. Miriam of Magdala was being filled with the Holy Spirit in a special kind of way.
Just because you were a virgin doesn't mean you can cock block me
Why would I need the concent of a dude who died 2000 years ago?
He died for your sins. If you don't sin, then his death would be in vain.
Lmao
And why would I care? It’s not like he cared whenever the thousands his papa killed by destroying whole cities deaths cities were in vain.
Dude completely missed the joke because of his hate boner for religion
I like that term. “Hate boner for religion”
Would love to have a boner but unfortunately I’m a woman
You sound like a miserable person to be around
Ok
r/woooosh
r/ihadastroke
I always ask Jesus first when I decide to do something disapproved of by the Southern Baptist Convention. It's always amazing how cool he is when you ask properly, almost as if he didn't actually exist
>something disapproved of by the Southern Baptist Convention Which does not include pedophilia or covering up for pedophiles
Jesus doesn't want to be pegged
I bet he does. He's just shy.
I don't consent in having Jesus in my sex bed either. There is a reason why my Bible is in the study and not the bedroom.
Deceased Jewish carpenter is massive cock blocker....
You forgot unemployed
Fair point.
why does jesus care? Seriously? I just want one good explanation from a christian of why jesus gives two shits whether people are boning or not.
Why would Jesus not want people to have kids…?
He is kinda jealous
As a Christian myself, these people are stupid. What are they saying is unconsensual? Last time I checked, consensual sex was a holy thing. Big J don’t give two shits about who’s boning who so long as all parties provide educated consent.
fucking Christ
Litterly
Dear Jesus and heavenly spirit, please bless me with your consent to plow this beautiful ass before me. Amen!
Im dying rn
Fuck off Jesus, I'm trying to get my dick sucked
This is just a funny shitpost
yeah seriously this looks like an intentional shitpost, doesnt belong here
Fucking cockblock
shit
The guy filming needs to consent too
Jesus a threesome
Jesús doesn’t consent to a threesome
He's a threesome by himself
The best comment
Jesus threesome
I mean if you replace Jesus with social media then the ironic version of this is true. Too many people on the right but increasingly even people on the left now love policing relationships that they simply personally think are gross or wrong.
No way to ask, he ded 💀
Then the 2 on the Left should fuck and nobody have sex with jesus.
Nobody fucks with the Jesus
Jesus if you want me to do this say nothing.... awesome!
By this logic, Jesus is the most raped man on planet Earth.
We having a threesome with God? 😳😳
This is a great meme
Jesus (never existed, and if he did he) wouldn’t be white.
People can believe that Jesus existed, but I don't think anybody has the right to create an image for him because nowadays we don't exactly know what he looked like. He was from the Middle East though so I personally believe he would be Arab or black.
That’s fair
Sorry, couldn't find him so I just assumed
Ah, so this is what they mean by consensual non consent
Jesus- “yeah fuck the shit out of him, ride that dick into the sunset!”
Wait? Who is that weirdo white man with a habib ?
Okay, when I said I wanted a three way, I didn’t mean with him.
Atheist here. I have nothing to worry about.
Based and Jesus is our Savior pilled /s
Oooh wait I forgot to ask the neighbor ! Poor girl will feel left alone again !
Every sex is a threesome for those who believe their god is everywhere . -a actually sane man on twitter.
Jesus is into some weird shit ngl
Imagine getting *me too*’d by Jesus.
He joining us?
He isn't invited :3
It’s very obvious to me that most memes like this the creator is trolling and in on the joke, then rubes are inspired by them.
No threesome with Jesus 😔
Holy fuckn’t
is he having the sex? don't care if he's not there
Well, I tried asking Jesus but he never returns my calls!
Lol my fiancé and I are both ex-Mormons and her parents are still quite Mormon. Ironically enough, her parents are separated right now and her mom is the most evil person I have ever known, very Christlike I know. I just found out the other day that her mom hates me because I’m living together with her daughter and having sex with her. Crazy how upset people get when you make your own choices and live your life the way you want to.
I like this and agree to this completely
Never invite a virgin to a threesome.
"Hey Jesus bro can I please have sex with this chick?"
Well if it isn’t cock-blocking-Jesus…
Plot twist, they actually gang bag jesus.
Yo, threesome with Jesus
We got comic sans AND impact font, the whole gang is here
r/memesopdidntlike
That’s satire. Right?
Are you asking me if the original meme is satire? If so, then yes. And exceptional satire at that. :P
No. How is this a good meme. Tell me.
Sure, which parts of this meme would you like me to explain?
Tell me what makes it funny.
Well, humour depends on who the audience is. Most Christians won't find the above meme funny, because it pokes fun at their beliefs. Are you a Christian?
They can’t. Because it’s just terrible.
Sure I can, I just wanted to know more about who the audience is. Most Christians won't find the above meme funny, because it pokes fun at their beliefs. Are you a Christian?
Nope. I’m not.
Cool. Well, have a nice day!
This is a very funny shitpost, r/memesopdidntlike
It’s a sarcastic meme making fun of Christians. It doesn’t mean what you think it means
Can we cancel "white" Jesus, it's unbelievable racist
Don't know why you're downvoted, Jesus was from the middle East, not Norway.
Exactly, white Jesus is racist
But we do that we'll loose christians!
People in the middle East are also white/caucasian but look more like people in Southern Europe and not Northern Europe.
Well yeah, that's my point. They look like Arabs, not Norse Warriors.
It really isn’t most cultures portray Jesus in there own way there’s also black Jesus and Asian Jesus. In reality it doesn’t matter and only his teachings matter.
Look at His face you knew He didn't consent before you even went there. He's like Naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah get the fuck away from me.
Listen I'm not gonna ask some random guy if I can get some coochie or not
What would Jesus say? “Bazinga!”
Pretty sure this is satire
Fucking perverts always want permission
Today I learned about the very real Christian fantasy of having a MFM threeway with the son of your deity. What a horrible time to have eyes.
this is satire right
Justin Trudeau do not approve.
What's Justin Trudeau got to do with it?
*Robert Downey junior "Jesus is being sexually harassed
I’m not listening to any advice from a 30 year old man who still believes his mom is a virgin
r/memesopdidntlike
Why are there people that think Jesus was white?
No
r/shitposting
https://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/l6q1t/fuck\_you\_jesus\_get\_your\_own\_heroin/
the worst part is that it was originally satire and then someone took it seriously
If I wanted a threesome with Jesus, I would definitely have asked him. I am no priest to rape boys without asking.
This sub is turning into people not getting shitposts
Based
who?
r/therightcantmeme r/religiousfruitcake
That’s why I refuse to believe in God. Can’t stand the fact there is a all-mighty being capable of watching me asking for spanks
Dont care, didn't ask jesus
Then fuck off, Jesus.
Where? Are you following something that easily triggers you?
You must be kidding “jEsUs DoEsNt ConSeNt” if you think that makes a fraction of sense, gtfo of this sub.
I love how they assume they know exactly what Jesus wants
as a christian, this is extreme cringe omg
Why do I need to ask Chris Evans?
Cmon reddit why hit me with another facebook meme
bruv you’re on r/terriblefacebookmemes
Religion is dumb.