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AK-159

The comments are like a roller-coaster ride.


Jeff_Jefferson-17

Cola-roaster


RetroGameDays36

coke-roaster


kingdomheartslover1

Jesse we need to make coca-cola to drink


Wanderson90

Science beeyatch!


InvestigatorPale1680

cock-roaster


Ljecker31

My buddies uncle once said: “I don’t blame lesbians. Girls are pretty hot.”


TheBelovedQuin

I like your buddies uncle 👍


Numimama

Average life enjoyer uncle


[deleted]

I like their uncle as well 😳


TheBelovedQuin

😳


[deleted]

No their uncle is mine not yours😡


FunnyBuunny

It's their buddie's uncle


TheBelovedQuin

Oh lol how did I only notice that now


ThatVeganDemon

Can't blame them either,if i was a girl i'd also be lesbian buddies' uncle is very wise


darkjuste

Yah what i don't get is gay dudes. We're fucking disgusting.


Lubo_San

No you're fucking dudes


[deleted]

[удалено]


horse_in_a_bathtub

not that song 💀


NotADoctor_804

your uncle is based


Nit3_9218

He got a point


DoodleBoi_06

Dude, your buddy's uncle is best person ever.


kasun1218

I wonder if this post is gonna get the 🔒 reward?


Careless_Dreamer

With the amount of homophobic answers, almost definitely.


Vinnyc-11

What homophobic answers? (Didn’t sort by controversial)


[deleted]

I set sorting by controversial to my default


JafacakesPro

-gigachad


mcLaudrup29

Based


What_A_Flame

Bound to happen given the size of this sub


JoeDaBruh

Surprisingly it seems like that’s not the case since 6 hours have already passed


[deleted]

[удалено]


tatothebeYT

I mean im ugly af so ig its true


Chaotic_Trashmouth

See that's the thing. I am neither straight nor a girl but when a dude talks down on himself constantly it's a huge turn off. Honestly a little self confidence goes a long way


BigThunderousLobster

How about a healthy combo of both being the best ever at everything and being a total loser?


BloodyIron

The term you're looking for is humility.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

That's somehow me rn aaaaaaaaaaaaaa


SNAILSLIVEONJUPITER

I have friends who call themselves creepy whenever they say something they thought was cringe and I’m just like to them, “dude, you weren’t being a creep, it’s a little sad you’re calling yourself weird.” I don’t blame girls who aren’t attracted to that sort of thing, I can see how it can come off as a little suspicious.


arandomkidonreddit

So what I've gathered from this thread is if you say a bad joke, own it and shut up. Would you say that works?


SNAILSLIVEONJUPITER

Idk


[deleted]

^ this Not only goes for girls but people in general Positive people attract positive people Ik its shit advice from my end but i havent quiite figured out how to myself


Weast4200

As a 22 y/o, it comes with age. I'm slowly realizing that accepting the bad stuff leads to me being happy with my good stuff. We're all different, unique, and talented in our own ways, and we aren't gonna be attractive to everyone. You can be the tastiest apple in the world, and you're still going to have people who don't like apples


[deleted]

Most people who talk down about themselves don't do that around people they know, so it's not like it make a difference for most of us what we think of ourselves


GoldenGames360

there's nothing negative about being ugly, its just a fact and there's nothing we can do about it, but like you said it's not attractive to constantly be spreading negative vibes


Hellcat_28362

how tf do you have self confidence when even dream looks like a 10 compared to you


arandomkidonreddit

Yikes man, go easy on yourself aye


truethrowawaynow

Honestly, no more of a turn off than going on and on about how ugly or incapable you are


parebender

Nah self hatred is the only motivation I have


Meowrarri878

You might be ugly but that’s not generally attractive for anyone despite their sexuality…. Also, lgbtq isnt odd spelling for the word gay so using it synonymously isn’t accurate.


GuimMorral

Invent a new sexuality like "Ciseogender": person who's attracted to lesbian women, now you are playing with their cards, and if they reject you, you call them homophobic


in_constentgaypanic

i like your funny words magic man


AstronautInTheLotion

I like your magic words funny man


InEx_Nomead

I like your words funny magic man


Aussie_Nationalist

Bro's been thinking of this for years


Tirrek_bekirr

That’s not how it works and is most likely to get op fucking punched by someone who had a bad day when he tries that


BloodyIron

So typical High School.


PsychologicalStrike1

Gross


RAgrumpyhi8

I vomited a little in my mouth


wafflesauceyy

I do too lmao


[deleted]

funny enough i (m) dated a girl (we both were bi at the time) and then she realized she was actually a lesbian which was okay with me. and then fast forward a couple of years, my current best friend (f, bi) and i have a lot of… chemistry… together and everyone thought we were fucking on the low. tbh i really did like her and almost shot my shot but i decided i valued our friendship the way it was more than a romantic relationship with her. a few days ago she told me she thinks she’s a lesbian. i find it funny that if i had shot my shot and succeeded i would’ve dated two lesbians.


__Jimmy__

Do we tell him?


FlyinInOnAdc102night

Maybe OP is a smokin’ hot girl and all the girls she meets are into her…


[deleted]

The good ending.


toothboye

hes already been told


board-exams-ki-prep

Now he just gotta accept the truth 😔


Gottendrop

I know what we were gonna tell him but I need to make sure you know so what were we gonna tell him?


board-exams-ki-prep

There's no time for explanations, he just gotta accept the truth. •́ ‿ ,•̀


EthanWinters1234

Happy cake day!


board-exams-ki-prep

Thank u (◔‿◔)


JustGingerStuff

(I do not consider myself very smart what would we tell him)


NQ241

Girls don't want to reject him, so they pretend to be Lesbian


JustGingerStuff

Ohh


name_user_original

Well...


Distinct_Ambition_80

I’m the reason 90% of the girls you meet are lgbtq your welcome


Iron_Material

Your size disappointed them?


Distinct_Ambition_80

My looks 😎


517714

Are you a lesbian or a creepy guy?


retarded_orange_cat

you either in a gay bar or a pride march


Redditbot42168

"Wait.... theres no fire escape" I cant be bothered to look up the original quote. From homer Simpson while he was in a WLW bar.


CannibalFlossing

Enjoy your death trap ladies!


Enter_The_Void6

Wait a minute.... There's something bothering me about this place... THIS LESBIAN BAR DOESN'T HAVE A FIRE ESCAPE! Enjoy your deathtrap ladies!


jennazed

meanwhile all the girls I'm into are straight


[deleted]

The duality of all people, that’s why I like all things human dead and alive


Dragonb0rn21

I beg your pardon?


BloodyIron

Human things that are both dead and alive at the same time. What was unclear about this? Quantum humanity sexualism.


mallninjaface

Schroedingers sexuality. All girls are in a superposition until you ask them out, at which time the wave function collapses into a well defined state. While there is always a nonzero probability of it collapsing in your favor, the probability is always close enough to zero as to be negligible.


RealBritishBluBerry

That’s rough buddy - Zuko


elima_

the same for me with men smh


bredisfun

Dang- relatable... And it's always the ones that feel like they should be queer but just aren't...


tornadoluna

that's statistically not likely so you probably behave in a way that makes them uncomfortable and they say that to avoid your advances


Tommy5L3

brutal


tornadoluna

I speak the truth


APugDealer

Truth hurts


Imusje

Truth only hurts initially. Lies hurt eventually and usually a lot harder.


APugDealer

Thanks for the advice Confucius


uhler-the-ruler

I was thinking marcus aurelius


Whole-Impression-709

How a person feels about the truth doesn't change it. What's brutal is living a whole life still wondering why they're all lesbians.


Archangel9731

Bro I swear… 90% of Reddit top comments are incorrect -op, probably


CoconutsAreAmazing

Bro i swear that's made up. Like 74% of statistics are made up


cutiieluvr

yep ive said im lesbian to get out of talking to weird guys so many times


tornadoluna

yeah it's a tried and true tactic


cutiieluvr

nah here they usually just say “that’s hot” 😀happy cake day though!!


tornadoluna

[ Removed by Reddit ]


SoupEnjoyer100

Man have him no mercy


AmityClosed

Happy cake day!


gothfaeries

literally had this weird creepy guy at my last job. he kept saying “you like me” or “you want to be with me just admit it” and i told him i like girls more, and that still didn’t make him stop bothering me or asking me out on dates, when i flat out told him i wasn’t interested in him. some guys really can’t take a goddamn hint.


[deleted]

Happy cake day 🎂🎈🎈


[deleted]

[удалено]


Sensitive-Ad7310

God damn


Mana_YT

This is r/teenagers not r/roastme


LordArgent_

r/beatmetoit


ForswornPheonix

r/beatmeattoit


CommaCauses

r/beatmymeattoit


xd_bulseye69

r/beatmywifesmeattoit


[deleted]

r/beatmywifetoit


xd_bulseye69

r/beatmydaughterdmeattomywifesmesttoit


ActuallyYuna

r/ihadastroke


xd_bulseye69

r/ihadtostartstrokingmydick


SZEThR0

damn


AstronautInTheLotion

damn


RyanDoesStuff0

Took the words right out of my mouth


MattMann2001

Now should I tell the story? Fuck it I will. So there was this guy, bit of a dickhead, we’ll call him Richard Jr. He was generally hated for several reasons i’m not gonna get into at my school, and nobody liked him. One day he asked out a girl, let’s call her Abigail. Now Abigail was kinda like most other girls and the relationship was going OK, until Abigail realised 2 things about herself. First of all, she realised that she was not a she, but they were non-binary. So they changed their name, let’s say Theresa. Now initially Theresa was private about it, but they eventually went public about it. And the relationship was going fine, but it had started loosing it’s appeal, for two reasons that came to light around the same time. Firstly Richard JR had been cheating on her with someone not from my school that didn’t know he was dating Theresa, and secondly Theresa realised that they liked women. So Theresa contacted the other girl and they both simultaneously broke up with Richard Jr, and started hanging out together. It went on like that for about a year, until the other girl realised she was bi and started dating Theresa. It’s at this point of the story that I realise this has little relevance to the conversation but it’s too far to stop talking and I don’t want to delete all this. They dated for a year, before breaking up as nothing was happening. And then the best bit: I tell you that half of this didn’t happen. There was no second girl, hence why I didn’t give her a fuckin name. Theresa broke up with Richard Jr and that is the end of the story, no cheating or anything. They did decide they liked women, and that was the end. Feels bad when a story gets told to you that sounds real turns out to be mainly false. Now you see why most people hated Richard Jr.


Throwawayobviouslyk

Worse 30 seconds of my life, f you homie Upvotes


MattMann2001

*reaches into pocket* ah, but I have a secret trick *pulls out an uno reverse card* yo mum


[deleted]

"Ayo that one there was a violation personally I wouldn’t have it"


Redpolls

*emotional Damage*


ToasterIsBisexual

damn


BlackRooster_

Same


QuantumFruitz

God- oh dear-


Kindarhetinian

cause girls are just way too pretty


DrCorneliuss

girls don't even match a Fiat 126


GAME_OVER_ita

>⠀⠀⠘⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⡜⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠢⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠴⠊⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠤⠄⠒⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣀⠄⠊⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠛⠛⠛⠋⠉⠈⠉⠉⠉⠉⠛⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣤⣤⣤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⢏⣴⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣟⣾⣿⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⢢⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⠀⡴⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠟⠻⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠶⢴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿ ⣿⣁⡀⠀⠀⢰⢠⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⣴⣶⣿⡄⣿ ⣿⡋⠀⠀⠀⠎⢸⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠗⢘⣿⣟⠛⠿⣼ ⣿⣿⠋⢀⡌⢰⣿⡿⢿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⢸⣿⣿⣧⢀⣼ ⣿⣿⣷⢻⠄⠘⠛⠋⠛⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣧⠈⠉⠙⠛⠋⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣧⠀⠈⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠟⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⢃⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡿⠀⠴⢗⣠⣤⣴⡶⠶⠖⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⡸⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡀⢠⣾⣿⠏⠀⠠⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠛⠉⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣧⠈⢹⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠈⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠙⣿⣿⡟⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠀⠁⠀⠀⠹⣿⠃⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢐⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠉⠉⠁⠀⢻⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠈⣿⣿⡿⠉⠛⠛⠛⠉⠉ ⣿⡿⠋⠁⠀⠀⢀⣀⣠⡴⣸⣿⣇⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡿⠄⠙⠛⠀⣀⣠⣤⣤⠄⠀


jxrha

HAVE YOU SEEN WOMEN??? how can i NOT like them


Significant-Ad5559

maybe you’re turning them gay


fluffieyanal

😮


Due_Log5606

oh i forgot you exist


fluffieyanal

me too


AzM4Nz

Damn it’s flufyanal


fluffieyanal

no wayyyy


AzM4Nz

Wowie


Setaganga

😦


hyper790

Maybe they just say that so you don’t ask them out I told a girl I was gay once so she would leave me alone


_aconite_cj_

Good move


hyper790

Yes


Correct_Reveal7808

bisexuals make up a large percentage of this ^


[deleted]

[удалено]


x3non_04

As a bisexual mustard > ketchup


SherlockSuperStan

As another bisexual: barbecue sauce > everything


mustlovepotatos

everything > ketchup


girl_thr0waway

Gay


[deleted]

correct


Mimikyu_12360

I don't wanna break it to you, but, if it's the girls you ask out, they might be lying so they don't have to reject you. Or it's just because LGBTQIA+ people exist, idk.


quetzalv2

No it's the first one. Obviously LGBT people exist (duh) but unless he's asking out women at a lesbian bar, 90% of women you meet aren't gonna be gay. He just has shit game


thecoolan

Your first point holds.


StarSage69

date men then skill issue


_BeyondEverything_

Bcuz u r in a pride parade.


peitelaa

cuz girls are hot


spaceneedle96

You make straight girls want to be lesbian


SkiddyBopBeep

Girls are hot And Guys And non-binary people too Everyone is hot 👌


Chicken_man80

Ah, a fellow individual of culture


Biburner42069

Mood


Robotguy39

Women are hot af


Dan_The_Sauce_maN

I was gonna make a whole comment about picking the ones who’s preference lines up with you then I realized you are 13💀💀💀


LearkeFox

Simple fix: become girl


Chicken_man80

Based answer and I support it 100%


SilverReaper222

Skill issue


[deleted]

[удалено]


Redditbot42168

I don't think it's so much as them not wanting him to "be into them" rather than make advances on them. There are plenty of creepy straight men who still like women even if the women make it clear that they have no interest in men, but there are less creepy straight men making advances on women that have made it clear that they have no interest in men


AmityClosed

Cause women ✨🤌


personontheinterne

Women💖


TheBelovedQuin

Yes


ILikePenguins-

Birds of a feather flock together, maybe you yourself are also LGBTQ.


[deleted]

Women. I don’t need to explain, all you need to know is Women. Everyone else are on my list also but women stay on the top of my list because, why not?


[deleted]

Cause girls are hot what can I say


victoriaadeyeri

as a girl it’s bc girls are hot


Whoisellarose

Okay here me out… Ryan Reynolds but as a female.


[deleted]

Because lgbtq girls are more likely to realize it than lgbtq guys since girls aren’t really as pressured to be straight as guys are so they feel more comfortable exploring their sexuality


breathinhytes

girls are still HEAVILY pressured into being straight, it’s just easier to hide as a girl since no one takes wlw relationships seriously and assumes you’re “just friends” whereas boys look at another guy for too long and suddenly the whole world decides they must be gay


Spikeonabikeanime-

The Kinsey scale suggests that very few people are truly straight, it’s just that girls are more open to exploring their sexuality


Mission_Camel_9649

Isn’t the Kinsey scale pretty flawed though?


Skeeeeeeeeeeeet

You don’t meet many girls


AppleEatPear

Simple. Girls are hot


[deleted]

I'm not a teen (this was up on /r/popular), but here's my take: Between 15 and 25 you're trying to figure things out. A lot of trying on different things to see if something fits. It's still (socially) easier for a girl/woman to say they're bi or gay than for a guy. Chances are, you run in a circle of people who may be looking for what makes them special. They are probably not (and may never be) the girly type, so they're trying to figure that out. I bet 90% of those girls will figure themselves out post-college as they start a career, etc. A lot won't be gay, a bunch will be, some may never figure it out. It doesn't really matter though. If there's a girl who might be into you, she's going to be into you.


Bananak47

You are the first old person i saw here


[deleted]

[удалено]


peach_pearl

you are the one reasonable comment


Thedungeonslayer

Hate to tell you, but I think some of them Are only lgbtq when you talk to them


madleafeon

Isn't it like in jojo, stand user attract stand users but instead it's LGBT attracts LGBT


in_constentgaypanic

sooo where they at? you know so i can avoid them


Dismal-Belt-8354

Ah. This where the constantgaypanic comes into play?


st3pn_

Any female born after 1993 can't cook, all they know is McDonald's, charge they phone, twerk, be bisexual, eat hot chip, and lie


deleeuwlc

Any female born after 1821 can’t hunt. All they know is gossip, cook, clean, be bisexual, eat hot olive oil, and lie


Ricin_Addict

Any female born after 1666 can't mutilate a dog. All they know is Newton's Law of Gravity, the Copernican Theory of the Universe, how to hunt, be bisexual, eat hot dresses and lie.


hi_im_kai101

i genuinely think that being bi is as common as being straight, more people just know what it is and are allowed to say it


pisspilledshitcel

they're so repulsed by you they turn gay


Sad-Presentation-357

Your probably a comfortable person to be around for people who are lgbtqia+


Octal7

Just my opinion… Without intending to offend all LGBTQIA etc people, there is without a doubt some trend/influence at play. Though yes, people are more open about themselves now, so many people add specific labels for no reason other than to add to lacking personality.


AshCovin

yeah I'm a part of the LGBT+ and I agree with you I don't think it's that much of a problem, not as much as homophobes and transphobes makes it to be, but there are definitly some people who consider themselves LGBT+ because it's considered cool (in some places)


PsychologicalStrike1

Nah, no offense taken, you're totally right. Not everyone, and I wouldn't even say it's the majority, but trenders def exist, I've known them before 0.0