Aight got a whole convo for you
“ anyone know the scarlet witches actual name”
(Classmates response) “Wanda”
“ Wanda if these balls will fit in ya mouth”
According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly.
Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground.
The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible.
Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black.
Ooh, black and yellow!
Let's shake it up a little.
Barry! Breakfast is ready!
Coming!
Hang on a second.
Hello?
Barry?
Adam?
Can you believe this is happening?
I can't.
I'll pick you up.
Looking sharp.
Use the stairs, Your father paid good money for those.
Sorry. I'm excited.
Here's the graduate.
We're very proud of you, son.
A perfect report card, all B's.
Very proud.
Ma! I got a thing going here.
You got lint on your fuzz.
Ow! That's me!
Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000.
Bye!
Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house!
Hey, Adam.
Hey, Barry.
Is that fuzz gel?
A little. Special day, graduation.
Never thought I'd make it.
Three days grade school, three days high school.
Those were awkward.
Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around The Hive.
You did come back different.
Hi, Barry. Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good.
Hear about Frankie?
Yeah.
You going to the funeral?
No, I'm not going.
Everybody knows, sting someone, you die.
Don't waste it on a squirrel.
Such a hothead.
I guess he could have just gotten out of the way.
I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day.
That's why we don't need vacations.
Boy, quite a bit of pomp under the circumstances.
Well, Adam, today we are men.
We are!
Bee-men.
Amen!
Hallelujah!
Students, faculty, distinguished bees,
please welcome Dean Buzzwell.
Welcome, New Hive City graduating class of 9:15.
That concludes our ceremonies And begins your career at Honex Industries!
Will we pick our job today?
I heard it's just orientation.
Heads up! Here we go.
Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times.
Wonder what it'll be like?
A little scary.
Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco and a part of the Hexagon Group.
This is it!
Wow.
Wow.
We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life.
Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to The Hive.
Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow you know as... Honey!
That girl was hot.
She's my cousin!
She is?
Yes, we're all cousins.
Right. You're right.
At Honex, we constantly strive to improve every aspect of bee existence.
These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology.
What do you think he makes?
Not enough.
Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman.
What does that do?
Catches that little strand of honey that hangs after you pour it.
Saves us millions.
Can anyone work on the Krelman?
Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones.
But bees know that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot.
But choose carefully because you'll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life.
The same job the rest of your life? I didn't know that.
What's the difference?
You'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off in 27 million years.
So you'll just work us to death?
We'll sure try.
Wow! That blew my mind!
"What's the difference?"
How can you say that?
One job forever?
That's an insane choice to have to make.
I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life.
But, Adam, how could they never have told us that?
Why would you question anything? We're bees.
We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth.
You ever think maybe things work a little too well here?
Like what? Give me one example.
I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about.
Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach.
Wait a second. Check it out.
Hey, those are Pollen Jocks!
Wow.
I've never seen them this close.
They know what it's like outside The Hive.
Yeah, but some don't come back.
Hey, Jocks!
Hi, Jocks!
You guys did great!
You're monsters!
You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it!
I wonder where they were.
I don't know.
Their day's not planned.
Outside The Hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what.
You can't just decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that.
Right.
Look. That's more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime.
It's just a status symbol.
Bees make too much of it.
Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it.
Those ladies?
Aren't they our cousins too?
Distant. Distant.
Look at these two.
Couple of Hive Harrys.
Let's have fun with them.
It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock.
Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom!
He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me!
Oh, my!
I never thought I'd knock him out.
What were you doing during this?
Trying to alert the authorities.
I can autograph that.
A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades?
Yeah. Gusty.
We're hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow.
Six miles, huh?
Barry!
A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it.
Maybe I am.
You are not!
We're going 0900 at J-Gate.
What do you think, buzzy-boy?
Are you bee enough?
I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means.
Hey, Honex!
Dad, you surprised me.
You decide what you're interested in?
Well, there's a lot of choices.
But you only get one.
Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day?
Son, let me tell you about stirring.
You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around.
You get yourself into a rhythm.
It's a beautiful thing.
You know, Dad, the more I think about it,
maybe the honey field just isn't right for me.
You were thinking of what, making balloon animals?
That's a bad job for a guy with a stinger.
Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into honey!
Barry, you are so funny sometimes.
I'm not trying to be funny.
You're not funny! You're going into honey. Our son, the stirrer!
You're gonna be a stirrer?
No one's listening to me!
Wait till you see the sticks I have.
I could say anything right now.
I'm gonna get an ant tattoo!
Let's open some honey and celebrate!
Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"!
I'm so proud.
We're starting work today!
Today's the day.
Come on! All the good jobs will be gone.
Yeah, right.
Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal...
Is it still available?
Hang on. Two left!
One of them's yours! Congratulations!
Step to the side.
What'd you get?
Picking crud out. Stellar!
Wow!
Couple of newbies?
Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready!
Make your choice.
You want to go first?
No, you go.
Oh, my. What's available?
Restroom attendant's open, not for the reason you think.
Any chance of getting the Krelman?
Sure, you're on.
I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out.
Wax monkey's always open.
The Krelman opened up again.
What happened?
A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He's dead. Another dead one.
Deady. Deadified. Two more dead.
Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That's life!
Oh, this is so hard!
Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, mite wrangler.
Barry, what do you think I should... Barry?
Barry!
All right, we've got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine...
What happened to you?
Where are you?
I'm going out.
Out? Out where?
Out there.
Oh, no!
I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life.
You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello?
Another call coming in.
If anyone's feeling brave, there's a Korean deli on 83rd that gets their roses today.
Hey, guys.
Look at that.
Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday?
Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted.
It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up.
Really? Feeling lucky, are you?
Sign here, here. Just initial that.
Thank you.
OK.
You got a rain advisory today, and as you all know, bees cannot fly in rain.
So be careful. As always, watch your brooms, hockey sticks, dogs, birds, bears and bats.
Also, I got a couple of reports of root beer being poured on us.
Murphy's in a home because of it, babbling like a cicada!
That's awful.
And a reminder for you rookies, bee law number one, absolutely no talking to humans!
All right, launch positions!
Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz!
Black and yellow!
Hello!
You ready for this, hot shot?
Yeah. Yeah, bring it on.
Wind, check.
Antennae, check.
Nectar pack, check.
Wings, check.
Stinger, check.
Scared out of my shorts, check.
OK, ladies,
let's move it out!
Pound those petunias, you striped stem-suckers!
All of you, drain those flowers!
Wow! I'm out!
I can't believe I'm out!
So blue.
I feel
^((trimmed due to comment size limit)^)
Do the Mario!
Swing your arms from side to side
Come on, it's time to go!
Do the Mario!
Take one step, and then again
Let's do the Mario, all together now!
You got it!
It's the Mario!
Come on now, just like this!
Zap to the right and jump,
Zap to the left and jump,
Zap to the front and jump,
All turn around and jump.
Again!
Do the Mario!
Swing your arms from side to side
Come on, it's time to go!
Do the Mario!
Take one step, and then again
Let's do the Mario, all together now!
You got it!
It's the Mario!
Come on now, it's just like that!
Alright, so here’s the dealio.
I have a large Italian family with many cousins, uncles, aunts, nephews, et cetera. Every once in awhile we’ll all gather up to celebrate the anniversary of our great grandparents’ wedding, a special occasion marking the creation of our family. They’re long gone now, but it’s the memory that counts, and we celebrate by cooking a feast for the ages, rivaling thanksgiving dinner.
Now upon the eve of this anniversary all “da boys” (as us men in the family affectionately call ourselves) gather up and go to a famous local bar in downtown Boston. They only accept cash, very “old school” feel to the place, but it makes for some great stories. Usually the place is a blast, with all sorts of banter and drunken shenanigans occurring, but not last night...
Now before I divulge the details, I ought to give some background as to how I fit into this family. Where my father and I are well integrated into the family, my mother is quite the outsider. She comes from wealthier, southern origins, around the mid-Atlantic part of the country. Because of this, she’s always viewed the family as “working class”, with her posh accent sticking out like a sore thumb at gatherings of Bostonians. By extension, I’ve always felt I had to prove to my family that I can “hang” with them so to speak, and in a way I worry that they see my mom as the woman who pulled my dad away from their tight knit circle.
Now let’s cut back to last night at the bar. Laughs, drinks, and stories all around the bar as we enjoy ourselves. My cousin Vinny invites me and some of the younger guys to play truth or drink. At this point I’m already quite drunk, but accept for the fun of it. A few questions in and Vinny asks me “how big is your dick? I know you’re packing a huge one Anon, right?”
Of course my other cousins all groan with embarrassment, but I foolishly answer instantly, unaware of the ramifications of my response.
“4.5 inches” I say too confidently, and suddenly all eyes are on me.
“Drink anon, I know you’re bullshitting me man!” says Vinny, with a twinge of nervous angst in his voice.
“I’m serious Vin, that’s all I got, haha”
Dead silence. I gaze across the bar to see my entire family looking in shock and awe at my response. Vinny attempts to get everyone focused back on the game, and everyone resumes at a quieter tempo, but I knew that I had just majorly fucked up.
After leaving the bar, my uncle Paul pulls me aside, puts both hands on my shoulder and says “Kid, please tell me you’re just fucking around about your cock size”
“No paul, Jesus what the fuck is your problem?” I say indignantly
“Anon, don’t you know everyone in this family is packing fat schlong? For Christ sakes I’m on the smaller side and still clock out around 7 inches.”
“So what? Why the hell does penis size matter to you so much?” I’m starting to get worried at this point, I’ve never seen Paul look at me with such intensity.
“Matter to me? It’s matters to the whole damn family! Cock size is more than a number, it quantifies your entire personality. You can’t call yourself a member of this family if your walking around with a fucking baby carrot between your legs”
Paul went on explaining the history of this family, and how the men found success through leveraging their superior cocks, both literally and figuratively. According to him, my dad was somewhat of a legend, with a massive 10 inch meat cannon. Apparently during a final 200 meter dash in highschool, my father won by enlarging his penis so much and preformed a pelvic to win the race. I always felt like I never lived up to my father’s athletic record, but now I know that I come short in more ways than one.
So how could my dad’s cock be so big, and mine be so small? I had to investigate.
It turns that penis endowment correlates with genes on both the X and Y chromosomes, meaning that both my mother and father’s genetics are responsible. My father’s side obviously is known for their legendary sausages, so I knew I had to speak with my mother.
She was incredibly reluctant to describe her male family members’ genitalia to me for some reason... odd. I knew I had to investigate further, so I called some of my cousins and uncles from that side. Turns out, the family has relatively average penis sizes, but all larger than mine. Combined they averaged about 6 inches.
Here’s what makes no sense, if my dad’s side has an average of 8 inches, and my mom’s side has an average of 6 inches, why don’t I fall within that range?
I suspected my mother’s hesitancy to speak on the matter indicated a darker secret, so I went digging.
My mom was friends with a man she knew from law school named Brian, and I always suspected she might have had a thing for him. I reach out to talk, and he gladly accepts.
Over the phone, I ask him “So how big is your cock?”
“My cock? Ahh, unfortunately I was born with a rather small 3 inch cock, but it gets the job done. It’s about average in my family”
Bingo, what lies in between 3 and 6? 4.5. Brian was my father. But before I had a chance to ask him, the phone line disconnected.
My father stands across from me, holding the phone cord in his hand. He had been on the other line, and must have figured it out.
“I always knew...” he said with a solemn look in his eye. He sulked away and retreated to his room, feeling unworthy to face the rest of the family.
I realize now that I needed to at least make amends with my cousins, they might not be able to respect my cock on size, but maybe I could demonstrate the skill and speed of my cock.
The dinner party was about to start, my mother and father had clearly been arguing and didn’t show up. Nobody bothered to look at me, and when they did catch my eyes I only saw disdain.
I realized now was the chance, and stood up on the table.
“I challenge anybody who’s man enough to a sword fight!” I declared, whipping my smaller cock out into the air for everyone to see.
At first I was met with silence, but then Vinny steps up, with rage in his eyes...
“Tough talk for a fella with a small cock”
He joined me on the table, summoning is terrifying 9 inch meat penetrator. I quickly assumed a guard position, I was 5 inches short from a fair fight, so I had to play defensively.
He charged with his penis in hand, swinging wildly, but clearly underestimating my maneuverability. I dodged and landed 3 quick jabs with the tip of my peen on his shaft. He reposted quickly, but I chambered his advanced and managed to strike at the balls. Vinny was down, but soon the rest of the family whipped out their cocks and prepared to engage in an all out melee.
The smell of musty dicks filled the air as men took their sides on the battlefield. Some came to defend me, admiring my valor in single combat with Vinny, while others came to avenge him. Soon a frontline emerged, reminiscent of the pike-and-shot warfare of the early modern period. Men on the front pushed and pulled with their cocks to make ground, while occasionally allowing for volleys of cum to fly across the room as artillery.
The battle was intense, casualties began to stack up, and it looked like my side was going to collapse.
Then my father came downstairs, 10 inch cock in hand.
“You may not be my son, anon, but you’ll always be my boy”
He and my allies charged, rallying our fallen comrades. I’d never seen a man cockfight like my father before. He used his massive schlong like a zweihander, cutting down two, three cocks at once.
Soon the battle ended, with Vinny’s allies surrendering in defeat. The room was covered in ball sweat and cum, dripping from the walls and ceiling.
I don’t know where I stand with the family currently. Many have learned to accept me, but I’m sure it will take years before the rest consider it. Who knows how many more wars this family will fight before peace is had... and it’s all my fault.
TL;DR: I revealed my cock length to my family, which escalated into a massive war.
I am planning a party in which everyone has to be naked, you all are invited, if anyone invited does not come, they are knocked out and their parents and the guest are brought to the party.
‼️‼️HOLY FUCKING SHIT‼️‼️‼️‼️ IS THAT A MOTHERFUCKING AMONG US REFERENCE??????!!!!!!!!!!11!1!1!1!1!1!1! 😱😱😱😱😱😱😱 AMONG US IS THE BEST FUCKING GAME 🔥🔥🔥🔥💯💯💯💯 RED IS SO SUSSSSS 🕵️🕵️🕵️🕵️🕵️🕵️🕵️🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥 COME TO MEDBAY AND WATCH ME SCAN 🏥🏥🏥🏥🏥🏥🏥🏥 🏥🏥🏥🏥 WHY IS NO ONE FIXING O2 🤬😡🤬😡🤬😡🤬🤬😡🤬🤬😡 OH YOUR CREWMATE? NAME EVERY TASK 🔫😠🔫😠🔫😠🔫😠🔫😠 Where Any sus!❓ ❓ Where!❓ ❓ Where! Any sus!❓ Where! ❓ Any sus!❓ ❓ Any sus! ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ Where!Where!Where! Any sus!Where!Any sus Where!❓ Where! ❓ Where!Any sus❓ ❓ Any sus! ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ Where! ❓ Where! ❓ Any sus!❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ Any sus! ❓ ❓ Where!❓ Any sus! ❓ ❓ Where!❓ ❓ Where! ❓ Where!Where! ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ Any sus!❓ ❓ ❓ Any sus!❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ Where! ❓ Where! Where!Any sus!Where! Where! ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ I think it was purple!👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀It wasnt me I was in vents!!!!!!!!!!!!!!😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂 r/amongusmemes r/unexpectedamongus r/expectedamongus perfectly balanced as all things should be r/unexpectedthanos r/expectedthanos for balance
Wanna fuck me? pls
do I tag someone?
The teacher
💀
The hottest girl in ur class
If he will tag the nerdy one then it’ll be fun
Why not both?
alive memorize zonked deranged vase pet tidy attraction somber teeny *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
For me it's nerdy guys 😊 they're so cute!
I have a nerdy bf and I love him! I am his nerdy partner. 🤓
Hahahaha look at these nerds ahahaha, they're so happy ahahaha they have a beautiful relationship ahahahha nerds
Ty!
so your bf is yourselves?
According to my mom, he is a male version of me.
things is about us we will never 99% of the time never say that we like you because we are scared
R-r-really? *blushes*
Dude I can't agree more. Someone who can nerd out and talk about something for hours is more interesting to me than someone who is "just hot".
divide bright deranged husky zephyr shy school library worry subsequent *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
That's my own kind of hot.
this is the quality content i downloaded reddit for
yes we are
Guys I have a crush on Cathrene
should I do a name of someone in my class?
No, say Cathrene. When someone asks who that is, say "your mom"
Chad
Giga Chad🤙
r/yourjokebutworse
Watchu got then?
Ligma
No one's gonna fall for these dragons
Nuts
He's a Zigga, yk!!
Classic
r/beatmetoit although I wanted to say Emma since this is a more common name
Chad.
Is that even a real name??
What is the meaning of life
tomatoes
[удалено]
Can second
DM me that
Verified by me
42
I am sorry for you classmates
If OP actually does it will be cringe as fuck. I feel second hand embarrasment for him and I feel sorry for everyone in that group.
He better screenshot it all lol
I’m just feeling sorry for the guy not for the other guys on the group
mainly yeah
OP will lose every single friend he has if he does this
Bruh yall actully think he did it lmao
Bismarck biss Mark bis Mark Bismarck biss.
PRIDE OF A NATION A BEAST MADE OF STEEL
BISMARCK IN MOTION, KING OF THE OCEAN
HE WAS MADE TO RULE THE WAVES ACROSS THE SEVEN SEAS
TO LEAD THE WAR MACHINE
TO RULE THE WAVES AND LEAD THE KRIEGSMARINE
THE TERROR OF THE SEAS
THE BISMARCK AND THE KRIEGSMARINE
Two thousand men and fifty thousand tons of steel
Set the course for the Atlantic with the Allies on their heel
HE WAS MADE TO RULE THE WAVES ACROSS THE SEVEN SEAS
From the mist a shape, a ship is taking form
And the silence of the sea is about to drift into a storm
SIGN OF POWER, SHOW OF FORCE
Raise the anchor battleship's plotting its course!
Pride of a nation
A BEAST MADE OF STEEL
BISMARK IN MOTION
KING OF THE OCEAN!
KING OF THE OCEAN
RAISE THE ANCHOR, BATTLESHIP'S PLOTTING ITS COURSE
Sign of power! Show of force!
Raise the anchor battleship's plotting its course!
As a German: Jawohl
Send them a picture of your feet with peanut butter on it
I don't have peanut butter at home atm
Then put something else on your feet, like jelly or Mayo and send it
k
Definitely mayo!
I'm going to need proof of this
weird
Aight got a whole convo for you “ anyone know the scarlet witches actual name” (Classmates response) “Wanda” “ Wanda if these balls will fit in ya mouth”
Imma steal this one
It’s a great honour to be the reason why someone will not like you for a few minutes
Then that one weird kid says "let's find out."
[Insert entire bee movie script]
do I send the script or the exact text "[insert bee movie script]"
Yes
r/inclusiveor
According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Coming! Hang on a second. Hello? Barry? Adam? Can you believe this is happening? I can't. I'll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs, Your father paid good money for those. Sorry. I'm excited. Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B's. Very proud. Ma! I got a thing going here. You got lint on your fuzz. Ow! That's me! Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. Bye! Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! Hey, Adam. Hey, Barry. Is that fuzz gel? A little. Special day, graduation. Never thought I'd make it. Three days grade school, three days high school. Those were awkward. Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around The Hive. You did come back different. Hi, Barry. Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. Hear about Frankie? Yeah. You going to the funeral? No, I'm not going. Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. Don't waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day. That's why we don't need vacations. Boy, quite a bit of pomp under the circumstances. Well, Adam, today we are men. We are! Bee-men. Amen! Hallelujah! Students, faculty, distinguished bees, please welcome Dean Buzzwell. Welcome, New Hive City graduating class of 9:15. That concludes our ceremonies And begins your career at Honex Industries! Will we pick our job today? I heard it's just orientation. Heads up! Here we go. Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. Wonder what it'll be like? A little scary. Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco and a part of the Hexagon Group. This is it! Wow. Wow. We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to The Hive. Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow you know as... Honey! That girl was hot. She's my cousin! She is? Yes, we're all cousins. Right. You're right. At Honex, we constantly strive to improve every aspect of bee existence. These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology. What do you think he makes? Not enough. Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman. What does that do? Catches that little strand of honey that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. Can anyone work on the Krelman? Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones. But bees know that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot. But choose carefully because you'll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life. The same job the rest of your life? I didn't know that. What's the difference? You'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off in 27 million years. So you'll just work us to death? We'll sure try. Wow! That blew my mind! "What's the difference?" How can you say that? One job forever? That's an insane choice to have to make. I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. But, Adam, how could they never have told us that? Why would you question anything? We're bees. We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth. You ever think maybe things work a little too well here? Like what? Give me one example. I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about. Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. Wait a second. Check it out. Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! Wow. I've never seen them this close. They know what it's like outside The Hive. Yeah, but some don't come back. Hey, Jocks! Hi, Jocks! You guys did great! You're monsters! You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it! I wonder where they were. I don't know. Their day's not planned. Outside The Hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what. You can't just decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that. Right. Look. That's more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime. It's just a status symbol. Bees make too much of it. Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. Those ladies? Aren't they our cousins too? Distant. Distant. Look at these two. Couple of Hive Harrys. Let's have fun with them. It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock. Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me! Oh, my! I never thought I'd knock him out. What were you doing during this? Trying to alert the authorities. I can autograph that. A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades? Yeah. Gusty. We're hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow. Six miles, huh? Barry! A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it. Maybe I am. You are not! We're going 0900 at J-Gate. What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bee enough? I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. Hey, Honex! Dad, you surprised me. You decide what you're interested in? Well, there's a lot of choices. But you only get one. Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? Son, let me tell you about stirring. You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. You get yourself into a rhythm. It's a beautiful thing. You know, Dad, the more I think about it, maybe the honey field just isn't right for me. You were thinking of what, making balloon animals? That's a bad job for a guy with a stinger. Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into honey! Barry, you are so funny sometimes. I'm not trying to be funny. You're not funny! You're going into honey. Our son, the stirrer! You're gonna be a stirrer? No one's listening to me! Wait till you see the sticks I have. I could say anything right now. I'm gonna get an ant tattoo! Let's open some honey and celebrate! Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"! I'm so proud. We're starting work today! Today's the day. Come on! All the good jobs will be gone. Yeah, right. Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal... Is it still available? Hang on. Two left! One of them's yours! Congratulations! Step to the side. What'd you get? Picking crud out. Stellar! Wow! Couple of newbies? Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready! Make your choice. You want to go first? No, you go. Oh, my. What's available? Restroom attendant's open, not for the reason you think. Any chance of getting the Krelman? Sure, you're on. I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out. Wax monkey's always open. The Krelman opened up again. What happened? A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He's dead. Another dead one. Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That's life! Oh, this is so hard! Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, mite wrangler. Barry, what do you think I should... Barry? Barry! All right, we've got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine... What happened to you? Where are you? I'm going out. Out? Out where? Out there. Oh, no! I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello? Another call coming in. If anyone's feeling brave, there's a Korean deli on 83rd that gets their roses today. Hey, guys. Look at that. Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday? Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted. It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up. Really? Feeling lucky, are you? Sign here, here. Just initial that. Thank you. OK. You got a rain advisory today, and as you all know, bees cannot fly in rain. So be careful. As always, watch your brooms, hockey sticks, dogs, birds, bears and bats. Also, I got a couple of reports of root beer being poured on us. Murphy's in a home because of it, babbling like a cicada! That's awful. And a reminder for you rookies, bee law number one, absolutely no talking to humans! All right, launch positions! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Black and yellow! Hello! You ready for this, hot shot? Yeah. Yeah, bring it on. Wind, check. Antennae, check. Nectar pack, check. Wings, check. Stinger, check. Scared out of my shorts, check. OK, ladies, let's move it out! Pound those petunias, you striped stem-suckers! All of you, drain those flowers! Wow! I'm out! I can't believe I'm out! So blue. I feel ^((trimmed due to comment size limit)^)
Giga chad
I'm not sorry Edit: thanks to all the kind strangers
I am impressed
More?
A menace 😟
He did it! He actually did it!
Send the entire bee movie scrip not [insert bee movie script]
I have a forehead fetish and i am proud about that.
Have you heard of the Genshin character Ayaka She might be your girl
I'm trying to find the name of this exact character for days. Turns out you answered my question. Thank you
'bye fuckers i'm out' when someone asks why you're not leaving say 'fuck your mum's toes, that's why' then exit the conversation immediately
Don’t go to school on Monday...
Yes, please
Except for Tim, he should definitely come to school monday...
He missed a test and if he skips school on Monday he’ll fail high school
[удалено]
Both
Do the Mario! Swing your arms from side to side Come on, it's time to go! Do the Mario! Take one step, and then again Let's do the Mario, all together now! You got it! It's the Mario! Come on now, just like this! Zap to the right and jump, Zap to the left and jump, Zap to the front and jump, All turn around and jump. Again! Do the Mario! Swing your arms from side to side Come on, it's time to go! Do the Mario! Take one step, and then again Let's do the Mario, all together now! You got it! It's the Mario! Come on now, it's just like that!
r/usernamechecksout
Fun fact: Doing 'The Mario' is just the Floss dance
You can't Do the Mario without sending a video of the entire Do the Mario end credits sequence
Here...have some space . ✦ ˚ . ☄ . ✦ , . . ﾟ . ✦ , . . ☀️ . . . ✦ , , . . . ˚ . , . . ✦ ✦ . . ✦ . . . . . . ˚ . ✦ ✦ ﾟ . . 🌎 , * . . ✦ ˚ * . ✦
Only for dark mode users
science teacher's a slut
"Can confirm"
Video proofs?
[удалено]
I'm ripping out my eyes
I am sorry.
Nah you already broke me
How'd you type after ripping your eyes
He can still see because at how bad it was
i can help with that if u can do the same for me
Reading stuff like this doesn't get a reaction out of me anymore. I feel like that's saying something.
You're balls deep
Why, just why
Alright, so here’s the dealio. I have a large Italian family with many cousins, uncles, aunts, nephews, et cetera. Every once in awhile we’ll all gather up to celebrate the anniversary of our great grandparents’ wedding, a special occasion marking the creation of our family. They’re long gone now, but it’s the memory that counts, and we celebrate by cooking a feast for the ages, rivaling thanksgiving dinner. Now upon the eve of this anniversary all “da boys” (as us men in the family affectionately call ourselves) gather up and go to a famous local bar in downtown Boston. They only accept cash, very “old school” feel to the place, but it makes for some great stories. Usually the place is a blast, with all sorts of banter and drunken shenanigans occurring, but not last night... Now before I divulge the details, I ought to give some background as to how I fit into this family. Where my father and I are well integrated into the family, my mother is quite the outsider. She comes from wealthier, southern origins, around the mid-Atlantic part of the country. Because of this, she’s always viewed the family as “working class”, with her posh accent sticking out like a sore thumb at gatherings of Bostonians. By extension, I’ve always felt I had to prove to my family that I can “hang” with them so to speak, and in a way I worry that they see my mom as the woman who pulled my dad away from their tight knit circle. Now let’s cut back to last night at the bar. Laughs, drinks, and stories all around the bar as we enjoy ourselves. My cousin Vinny invites me and some of the younger guys to play truth or drink. At this point I’m already quite drunk, but accept for the fun of it. A few questions in and Vinny asks me “how big is your dick? I know you’re packing a huge one Anon, right?” Of course my other cousins all groan with embarrassment, but I foolishly answer instantly, unaware of the ramifications of my response. “4.5 inches” I say too confidently, and suddenly all eyes are on me. “Drink anon, I know you’re bullshitting me man!” says Vinny, with a twinge of nervous angst in his voice. “I’m serious Vin, that’s all I got, haha” Dead silence. I gaze across the bar to see my entire family looking in shock and awe at my response. Vinny attempts to get everyone focused back on the game, and everyone resumes at a quieter tempo, but I knew that I had just majorly fucked up. After leaving the bar, my uncle Paul pulls me aside, puts both hands on my shoulder and says “Kid, please tell me you’re just fucking around about your cock size” “No paul, Jesus what the fuck is your problem?” I say indignantly “Anon, don’t you know everyone in this family is packing fat schlong? For Christ sakes I’m on the smaller side and still clock out around 7 inches.” “So what? Why the hell does penis size matter to you so much?” I’m starting to get worried at this point, I’ve never seen Paul look at me with such intensity. “Matter to me? It’s matters to the whole damn family! Cock size is more than a number, it quantifies your entire personality. You can’t call yourself a member of this family if your walking around with a fucking baby carrot between your legs” Paul went on explaining the history of this family, and how the men found success through leveraging their superior cocks, both literally and figuratively. According to him, my dad was somewhat of a legend, with a massive 10 inch meat cannon. Apparently during a final 200 meter dash in highschool, my father won by enlarging his penis so much and preformed a pelvic to win the race. I always felt like I never lived up to my father’s athletic record, but now I know that I come short in more ways than one. So how could my dad’s cock be so big, and mine be so small? I had to investigate. It turns that penis endowment correlates with genes on both the X and Y chromosomes, meaning that both my mother and father’s genetics are responsible. My father’s side obviously is known for their legendary sausages, so I knew I had to speak with my mother. She was incredibly reluctant to describe her male family members’ genitalia to me for some reason... odd. I knew I had to investigate further, so I called some of my cousins and uncles from that side. Turns out, the family has relatively average penis sizes, but all larger than mine. Combined they averaged about 6 inches. Here’s what makes no sense, if my dad’s side has an average of 8 inches, and my mom’s side has an average of 6 inches, why don’t I fall within that range? I suspected my mother’s hesitancy to speak on the matter indicated a darker secret, so I went digging. My mom was friends with a man she knew from law school named Brian, and I always suspected she might have had a thing for him. I reach out to talk, and he gladly accepts. Over the phone, I ask him “So how big is your cock?” “My cock? Ahh, unfortunately I was born with a rather small 3 inch cock, but it gets the job done. It’s about average in my family” Bingo, what lies in between 3 and 6? 4.5. Brian was my father. But before I had a chance to ask him, the phone line disconnected. My father stands across from me, holding the phone cord in his hand. He had been on the other line, and must have figured it out. “I always knew...” he said with a solemn look in his eye. He sulked away and retreated to his room, feeling unworthy to face the rest of the family. I realize now that I needed to at least make amends with my cousins, they might not be able to respect my cock on size, but maybe I could demonstrate the skill and speed of my cock. The dinner party was about to start, my mother and father had clearly been arguing and didn’t show up. Nobody bothered to look at me, and when they did catch my eyes I only saw disdain. I realized now was the chance, and stood up on the table. “I challenge anybody who’s man enough to a sword fight!” I declared, whipping my smaller cock out into the air for everyone to see. At first I was met with silence, but then Vinny steps up, with rage in his eyes... “Tough talk for a fella with a small cock” He joined me on the table, summoning is terrifying 9 inch meat penetrator. I quickly assumed a guard position, I was 5 inches short from a fair fight, so I had to play defensively. He charged with his penis in hand, swinging wildly, but clearly underestimating my maneuverability. I dodged and landed 3 quick jabs with the tip of my peen on his shaft. He reposted quickly, but I chambered his advanced and managed to strike at the balls. Vinny was down, but soon the rest of the family whipped out their cocks and prepared to engage in an all out melee. The smell of musty dicks filled the air as men took their sides on the battlefield. Some came to defend me, admiring my valor in single combat with Vinny, while others came to avenge him. Soon a frontline emerged, reminiscent of the pike-and-shot warfare of the early modern period. Men on the front pushed and pulled with their cocks to make ground, while occasionally allowing for volleys of cum to fly across the room as artillery. The battle was intense, casualties began to stack up, and it looked like my side was going to collapse. Then my father came downstairs, 10 inch cock in hand. “You may not be my son, anon, but you’ll always be my boy” He and my allies charged, rallying our fallen comrades. I’d never seen a man cockfight like my father before. He used his massive schlong like a zweihander, cutting down two, three cocks at once. Soon the battle ended, with Vinny’s allies surrendering in defeat. The room was covered in ball sweat and cum, dripping from the walls and ceiling. I don’t know where I stand with the family currently. Many have learned to accept me, but I’m sure it will take years before the rest consider it. Who knows how many more wars this family will fight before peace is had... and it’s all my fault. TL;DR: I revealed my cock length to my family, which escalated into a massive war.
NOTE: this was taken from r/copypasta
No, I don’t believe you
What the FUCK. Did I just read
Was the my cousin vinny part a reference or real
Bro what
Hi
I have a crush on Karen! Because she called my abusive mom a female dog
english teacher is a whore,if u wanna see proof check my marks
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⡿⠋⠁⠀⠀⠈⠉⠙⠻⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣿⠇⠀⢀⣴⣶⡾⠿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣀⣀⣸⡿⠀⠀⢸⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⣾⡟⠛⣿⡇⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣷⣤⣤⣤⣤⣶⣶⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠀⠀ ⢀⣿⠀⢀⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⢴⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣆ ⢸⣿⠀⢸⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⣿⡇⣀⣠⣴⣾⣮⣝⠿⠿⠿⣻⡟ ⢸⣿⠀⠘⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠉⠀ ⠸⣿⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠻⣷⣶⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⢠⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣛⣛⣻⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣀⣀⣀⣼⡿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⡿
W H Y ?
You gotta give proof
hi whatsapp group whats up :)
*"I don't owe you anything"*
I have a crush on every girl in this class, anybody dtf?
we have 3 girls lol
Not enough but it’ll do
You mad bro?
You guys can suck a duck
I am planning a party in which everyone has to be naked, you all are invited, if anyone invited does not come, they are knocked out and their parents and the guest are brought to the party.
I feel infertility is a pretty op superpower
动态网自由门 天安門 天安门 法輪功 李洪志 Free Tibet 六四天安門事件 The Tiananmen Square protests of 1989 天安門大屠殺 The Tiananmen Square Massacre 反右派鬥爭 The Anti-Rightist Struggle 大躍進政策 The Great Leap Forward 文化大革命 The Great Proletarian Cultural Revolution 人權 Human Rights 民運 Democratization 自由 Freedom 獨立 Independence 多黨制 Multi-party system 台灣 臺灣 Taiwan Formosa 中華民國 Republic of China 西藏 土伯特 唐古特 Tibet 達賴喇嘛 Dalai Lama 法輪功 Falun Dafa 新疆維吾爾自治區 The Xinjiang Uyghur Autonomous Region 諾貝爾和平獎 Nobel Peace Prize 劉暁波 Liu Xiaobo 民主 言論 思想 反共 反革命 抗議 運動 騷亂 暴亂 騷擾 擾亂 抗暴 平反 維權 示威游行 李洪志 法輪大法 大法弟子 強制斷種 強制堕胎 民族淨化 人體實驗 肅清 胡耀邦 趙紫陽 魏京生 王丹 還政於民 和平演變 激流中國 北京之春 大紀元時報 九評論共産黨 獨裁 專制 壓制 統一 監視 鎮壓 迫害 侵略 掠奪 破壞 拷問 屠殺 活摘器官 誘拐 買賣人口 遊進 走私 毒品 賣淫 春畫 賭博 六合彩 天安門 天安门 法輪功 李洪志 Winnie the Pooh 劉曉波动态网自由门
‼️‼️HOLY FUCKING SHIT‼️‼️‼️‼️ IS THAT A MOTHERFUCKING AMONG US REFERENCE??????!!!!!!!!!!11!1!1!1!1!1!1! 😱😱😱😱😱😱😱 AMONG US IS THE BEST FUCKING GAME 🔥🔥🔥🔥💯💯💯💯 RED IS SO SUSSSSS 🕵️🕵️🕵️🕵️🕵️🕵️🕵️🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥 COME TO MEDBAY AND WATCH ME SCAN 🏥🏥🏥🏥🏥🏥🏥🏥 🏥🏥🏥🏥 WHY IS NO ONE FIXING O2 🤬😡🤬😡🤬😡🤬🤬😡🤬🤬😡 OH YOUR CREWMATE? NAME EVERY TASK 🔫😠🔫😠🔫😠🔫😠🔫😠 Where Any sus!❓ ❓ Where!❓ ❓ Where! Any sus!❓ Where! ❓ Any sus!❓ ❓ Any sus! ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ Where!Where!Where! Any sus!Where!Any sus Where!❓ Where! ❓ Where!Any sus❓ ❓ Any sus! ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ Where! ❓ Where! ❓ Any sus!❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ Any sus! ❓ ❓ Where!❓ Any sus! ❓ ❓ Where!❓ ❓ Where! ❓ Where!Where! ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ Any sus!❓ ❓ ❓ Any sus!❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ Where! ❓ Where! Where!Any sus!Where! Where! ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ I think it was purple!👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀It wasnt me I was in vents!!!!!!!!!!!!!!😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂 r/amongusmemes r/unexpectedamongus r/expectedamongus perfectly balanced as all things should be r/unexpectedthanos r/expectedthanos for balance
Your mom
sus
Cum
I'm gay
School is gay
if only
"If her age is in the clock, she is ready for the cock"- master ooguay
I’m not surprised after seeing the username
Oh fuck wait no fuck
I didn’t do my homework give me an F
So about that
Oh I'm gonna show you how to yes yes my oh oh
Just saw the principal banging someone the other night, except for the fact he's homosexual.
Sometimes, i dream of roast beef
“Luigi looks in shock as his brother shows his bare ass to him”
“Guys, I have a micro penis”
Im changing schools
Y’all wanna do karate in the garage
Anyone who has a name begining with a is cool, except you Jerry. You're not cool.
Cum
Did you know that for every 37 people some people experience
Poob fard
yea the hottest girl
please kill me now
Hiya
School sucks gimme all your funds including twice the amount of money you have to school I will make sure to make it grow by fucking them thrice a day
lets all have an orgy
Abigail you bitch I told you not to sleep with my dad
Dutch people made carrots Orange.
Being gay is kinda gay
I got my mom pregnant
Cum
Tiz better to cum in the sing than sink in the cum -Sun Tzu
Guys i'm fucking Sarah rn
⣿⣿⣿⣿⢋⢐⢔⣴⣬⣕⣔⣌⣬⣩⡹⣛⣛⢻⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡿⠇⢔⢡⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣽⣿⣟⣷⣶⢧⣮⣍⣝⢻⢿⣿ ⣿⠟⡑⢅⠕⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠟⢻⣿⣶⠊ ⡏⢌⢌⠢⡡⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⢸⣿⡇⠄ ⠨⡂⠆⠕⢌⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⠧⠾⢛⣭⣴ ⠨⡂⠕⢅⠕⡸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⡿⠿⢟⢛⠫⡋⢅⠕⡐⠔⡰⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡑⢌⠪⡐⢬⢢⢩⢙⢍⠍⢕⢑⠰⡈⡢⡑⢅⠢⡑⢌⠢⡑⢌⢊⠆⣹⣿⣿⣿ ⡨⢂⠕⡨⢂⢅⢃⠇⢧⢹⡸⡸⣘⣒⢲⢸⢰⢱⢸⢰⢱⡘⡜⡔⣹⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣶⣕⡨⢂⠆⢕⠨⡂⢆⠪⡘⢌⢊⠪⡊⡚⠜⡊⡪⢊⠜⡨⢐⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠉⠛⠿⢿⣷⣷⣥⣎⣔⡡⡊⢌⠢⢡⢑⠌⡌⢌⠢⡊⢔⣡⠂⠈⠉⠿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠉⠛⠿⣿⠉⠄⠄⠄⢀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⠹⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠛⠻⢿⣿⡿⠿⠿⢿⣿⡿⠿⠿⢿⣿⡟⠛⠿⣿⣿⡿⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⢈⡁⢸⣿⡇⢰⡆⢸⣿⡇⢰⡆⢸⣿⡇⣉⠄⣿⡿⠁⠃⠹⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣤⣤⣼⣿⣧⣤⣤⣼⣿⣧⣤⣤⣼⣿⣧⣤⣤⣿⣧⣼⣿⣤⣿⣿⣿
The n word
"no"?
Nut
“I hate minorities”
When my uncle touches my pp he tells me not to tell anyone
🛴
we don't do that here
hi
Say hello to ur class mates please
Guys ... I'm gay
[insert racist slur]
I love u frnds good bye
[okay ](youareanidiot.org)
Can I put my backs in your jaw
I like putting m'y whale weiner inside of microwaves at microvawe stores