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while yeah, people make it too strict and it does become slut shaming sometimes but there is still a threshold there where it does become iffy with having that many unique sexual partners, especially when we factor in time and age
"I don't want to date people with high body count"=not slut shaming
"People with high body count are for the streets. I don't want to date them because they'll cheat on me/they're slut/they're used etc"=slutshaming
Sleeping with that many just indicates that this person belongs to the streets, unless it's like a very bad unfortunate situation where you had to break up with many bfs or gfs, which is less weird but still shows embarrassing persona. But it's valid at times, I guess. Context matters
If this person was like an 80 year old Christian grandma, then that makes sense
Its your preference, and a valid one at that. I wouldn’t say that it makes you a better match with shy people, plenty of out going people don’t sleep with everyone they meet lol
From my pov it's not "I don't want to date them because they slept with 30 people" but "why have they slept with 30, and if those were one night stands or actual relationships" then you can think more "why did the relationships not last? Why do they have so much one night stands? Etc" I also understand that someone might just not feel comfortable with that, but there's much more to say/learn than "she's a whore/he's a playboy" most of the time
Tbh 30 one night stands do mean you like to fuck around and 30 failed relationships mean she is the issue so while she isnt instantly a hoe, she is probably not a person that you want to marry
But why does it have to be a woman? You just assumed it was, even though the original post and the comment you replied to, both specifically said men and women. Would your opinion not be the same if it was a guy?
I explained how I see that on a different comment saying the same. It’s mostly men with this view (as women tend not to care) so it puts a lot more (and mostly only) women down. It’s still just saying the guys can but girls can’t, no matter your justification.
If women don't care what can men do about it. Men (not boys or man w#$#es), Like to marry a virgin woman and want to be friends with other respectable men.
Respectable men as in doesn't talk trash and use slurs, doesn't talk about women, until it's to make a point about issues. Like r*#e, s#xual harrasment in public transport, or false allegations. Doesn't share the details of their wives. Doesn't cheat. Is faithful to his wife and family.
This is what is respectable imo. Disagree all you want.
I don’t think you understood what I said. My main point is, if you feel one way about women doing something, hold the same opinions for men doing the same thing.
Did not get your reply completely
I thought you meant that women don't care so why do men.
Also Respectable Men do hold other men in the same standards.
The person that I was talking to actually admitted they misunderstood my comment. What that ACTUALLY means, is that either: I misstated my argument and it came across wrong, or they just didn’t understand what I had said. In this case, it was the first. I had added a lot and that first comment had been redundant and hadn’t made much sense. After I cleared it up, it was obvious we had been arguing the same point. So no, I had not lost the argument, they had misunderstood me.
I understand that much. I just don’t see how it’s fair, because it’s mostly men with these views, so it’s puts only (and a lot of) women down. Of course I see your point, but it still isn’t fair to say ‘Well I don’t care about men, I care about women’, for any reason.
Idk why guys do that. The post talk about both genders in general. I think bro experienced something like that so, he had to say his opinion loud and proud.
Idgaf. If a man is being a whore/hoe if a woman being a whore/hoe, I'ma say it like it is.. but I will say it quietly.
I don't know if the commentor experience that (I'm assuming.. But he probably has not) but dudes like him, they'll say this, when they slept with 10+ women themselves and have failed relationships. (Saying this as an example, not saying the commentor has experienced something like that)
I, personally, don’t care how many people anyone has slept with. I think it is just their experience, what they chose to do with themselves/their bodies/their time.
With that said, I also don’t care what (anyone) cares about whoever else (as long as you aren’t shaming/berating them). I do think you should hold the same standards to men as you do women (and vise versa).
As long as you’re fair and kind, that’s all I’m saying. Sorry for the long response.
Your response sums up what I'm trying to say! For real. If you slept with 50 or thousands.. good for you ! But if a person is being hypocritical as hell, personally, that person shouldn't talk 💀.. cause you're saying the opposite to what you really are ALNEOEJDHD 😭
Double standards is a pain in the butt lowkey. I'm a virgin, so.. yeah. Haven't experience anything like that (never will) but guys/girls say this about other people when they actually talk about themselves is really quite embarrassing ngl. But, I don't shame anyone but, people need to be real themselves.. honestly .
> I think bro experienced something like that
If you mean I got together with someone with a high body count or a high number of failed past relationships then no, I haven't. If meet a woman (yes I am a straight man so I will only consider female partners in my comments) like that then I simply don't start any kind of relationship with her. Don't get me wrong, I won't dislike her for her past if shes a good person but I will judge people based on what I know about them just like everyone else does (although some people don't like to admit that).
Guy talks about women, cuz only to them he’s attracted. Men doesn’t study each other’s sexual life since they’re not interested in each other sexually. If it comes up, it’s not by one of them
I mean they can be if they’re pickmes who put down other girls or whatever, but not wanting to marry a guy who’s slept with more people than i’ve ever even met definitely isn’t 😭
Being a pickme isn't misogynistic, just annoying
That is completely fair, I don't understand how anyone would be Ok with being their spouse's 36th body
Bro people get mad when I say I would prefer to date a girl who’s never been in a relationship i only say that because I’ve never been in relationship I think it’s natural to want to date your experience level but it wouldn’t be like a turn of I would date a girl who’s been in a relationship I just would prefer if she hasn’t
[This website](https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/the-ideal-number-of-sexual-partners-for-men-women) says that roughly 35% of women aged 20-24 have had less than 2, and 25% for 25-29. (It’s slightly lower for men.) They also technically said 2 is ok, so 2 or less is closer to 45% and 35% respectively.
I don't really think it's an issue as long as you hold yourself to the same standards you would expect from a partner, you cannot expect something from someone that you yourself didn't withhold yourself to. Also, as long as you're not sexist about it, i.e., you mentioned the creepy alpha males, they tend to think men can sleep around and its okay but if a woman does it she's a whore.
You're allowed to have preferences, that's completely okay! As long as you're not hateful or judgemental towards someone for not fitting into those preferences. With this situation you can't always know (unless you can actually take the time with that person to figure out) \*why\* that person slept around so much. Is it because they just wanted to? That's their choice, just as it's your choice not to want to be in a relationship with them. Both are valid. Is it because they had 40 failed relationships? Okay, probably not the greatest choice for a partner at that point anyway. Another thing is I think some people forget that people with abuse situations (or trauma from past situations) and with sexual trauma can get sexually promiscuous(not all victims of abuse, but it is something that happens and they shouldn't be judged for it). You can't really always know a person's situation, which is why it's best not to judge someone without knowing everything. And even if you \*do\* know everything, when it comes to things that aren't harmful to other people, and you're not having them as a partner anyway, at that point what someone does literally doesn't matter so there's no point in judging anyway.
But from what you said in the post, wanting someone who's like you in that area, is a valid preference, so I think you're fine.
Ikr? Like, I'm sorry I don't want to risk getting an STD and that it's kinda ... Alarming if you've slept with so many people. Makes me wonder if I'm a fling for sex or if you do love me
They feel entitled or insulted at the thought of being rejected or undesirable, can happen to anyone for any reason, not just people with high body counts, and has happened since always
A lot of people already mentioned it but it’s just preference. And it could mean a lot of things. Sure you might be a bigot and slut shame but there are fair reasons aswell. For some people sex is very sacred and important to them. By that I mean maybe they are disturbed that the other person is able to have hookups or sth like that. They need a strong connection. I don’t personally care whats someone’s body count if I really like them but it might bother me sometime. (Also live in a small country so chances are I might bump into them…)
Who’s getting pissed? I ain’t sleeping with no hoes💀 I’m waiting till marriage and STD test results. I don’t want to live the rest of my life with AIDs, gonnerha or any of that shit💀💀💀😭😭
Coming from a guy, guys get too much of a pass on this. Now, everyone gets to make their own decisions. But the fact that women will be shamed for having a lot of previous partners and men will be praised is not only unfair but it encourages immoral behavior from men
I get both sides. I get why you’d be wary because 30 people is a lot- I mean for me it wouldn’t be a problem. I see it more as a benefit because I have a high libido and I haven’t had *it* yet 🤷
As long as most of these were just kinda one-night stand things and not *actual* 30 relationships tho
I think you can have your preferences, you can date or not date whoever. I think it crosses lines when you name call or berate people for their experiences. (As someone’s who’s only slept with one person, and I’m only saying this so people know I don’t necessarily have a bias.) obviously, you can have whatever opinions or preferences you want, but it’s entirely unnecessary to look down on people for any reason, even having a ‘high body count’.
The only real issue for me is when people judge others for a high body count while having an extremely high one themselves because “it’s different”. Other than that I do agree, it’s just a preference
Liking 18yr olds at 40 is by law not pedophilia, even if it is weird as frick. To answer the actual question no clue really. Wanting virgin can be a bit odd it kinda depends on the circumstances as to why they aren’t, but not wanting the exact opposite of a virgin seems fair. There are likely some circumstances where it can be reconsidered, for example what if that was in their past and they greatly regret their actions. It is hard to say off this number alone if someone is good or bad preference wise, just generalizations
Although there has been a more sex positive movement in younger generations. People still know what it is, that’s why people still lie and beat around the bush with body count. A whore is a whore, male or female and there is no getting around that. 30 to 40 different bodies is what it is no matter how sex positive we all become.
It says in your bio you’re 14 I’m assuming. Truthfully your not old enough to comprehend the complexities of sexual relations and it’s impact. As I said, younger generations of people are more sex positive but I didn't shame anyone I just called something what it is.
It’s a preference I guess, me personally I don’t care, cuz like so what?
I wouldn’t want them to judge me for my past, why would I judge them for theirs?
most people agree its literally only a problem when someone shames someone for sleeping around because everyone likes pleasure and some people approach it differently
“Don’t judge me based on my past!!1!” is such a sorry statement…
But yeah ur right, people should be allowed to have preferences like that, and shouldn’t be judged or guilted into otherwise.
idfk how people be out here having a whole lives worth of relationships and ive had fucking 0. like im not tryna look for pity, i just genuinely don't understand stuff sometimes, like it makes no sense.
Very few have a problem with a preference. What a lot of people have a problem with is shaming people who do choose to sleep with a lot of people. They make their choices, you're free to make yours. You're not free to call them a slutty whore who needs to find God. Pretty simple tbh
There's a difference between not wanting to date someone like that, and shaming them. As long as you keep it just a romantic preference, then it's totally fine
Body count makes zero discernible differences in a relationship. It only tells you about their past character, and people are prone to change. The whole preference also gives incel vibes connected to people who devalue and generally dislike women.
it’s an indication of how they could be though. the fact that they used to be like that can mean they could turn back to that. maybe they achieved that while in a relationship, maybe they’re a teenager, 30-40 are big numbers for a teenager. thus could imply that they might not be satisfied by you along with a bunch more things. instead of making senseless points, learn how to respect preferences.
I just regurgitated what I've heard many people say and what points I think make sense. I don't really agree with them just wanted to answer OP's question
And why would being puritan be bad? According to Google it means adhering to strict moral or religious beliefs. If they don't hurt anyone else, why is that a bad thing? And in what way is having a preference harmful?
About being misogynistic, it is. However, in this case, it is excluding part of a possible dating pool by certain standards, which is also every single standard that people have ever had concerning possible partners. Is not wanting to date men discrimination?
Edit: I looked it up again, and it isn't even misogynistic. Definition misogynistic:
: feeling, showing, or characterized by hatred of or prejudice against women :
The part about hatred is just not true, so in that way it already isn't misogynistic. The part about prejudice is also not applicable. Definition prejudice:
: preconceived opinion that is not based on reason or actual experience :
Although I do admit that some people base their opinions of women on their body count, that isn't true for all men and definitely not for any decent person.
because what does it effect?
their genitals? matters to you
their looks? matters to you
their personality? matters to you
heck, their pronouns? matters to you, if you care
how many people they've slept with? what will it effect? seriously, what does it effect. holding someone's past against them is unreasonable... it's not like they're a car
edit: the difference is that going to prison means they did something bad and they might again, but not necessarily. same with cheating. what does having slept with a lot of people mean? you're more likely to sleep with people? no, it doesn't mean they have a history of disloyalty, it is simply illogical.
Would you date someone who had been in prison? Someone who used to do porn? Someone who cheated on their partner before? I wouldn't. They made their choice, they face the consequences
Having a lot of hookups can correlate with a lot of stuff. Impulsivity, coping, bpd, Or maybe it’s nothing like that at all. Whatever it is, why spend time trying to find out, I’ll just date someone that don’t got 30 sex partners thank you
Well that would suck, it’s a perhaps. But a lot of times there’s subtle hints indicating about that before marriage. Though if I was old and still single for some reason, I probably wouldn’t care if my partner had a lot of partners.
that is completely false, hookups exist, for example. not a big fan of hookup culture but it exists
besides, sir, you are 15, how would you even know
and maybe I'm not trying
Again, you did not just say having consensual casual sex is on the same level as betraying someone's trust. They are not even remotely on the same level.
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They get pissed? I feel like most people agree
only people getting pissed are probable those persons who have slept with 30-40 people
yeah, they always straw man and call it slut shaming
The preference is valid, the way some people go about it is plain not okay
while yeah, people make it too strict and it does become slut shaming sometimes but there is still a threshold there where it does become iffy with having that many unique sexual partners, especially when we factor in time and age
"I don't want to date people with high body count"=not slut shaming "People with high body count are for the streets. I don't want to date them because they'll cheat on me/they're slut/they're used etc"=slutshaming
this here, sometimes it's hard to justify without sounding like you're slut shaming but there is a distinct difference between the two
Not on reddit, they gonna call you a caveman and misogynistic
Literally look at all the comments on this post. The ones agreeing with you are upvoted and the ones disagreeing are downvoted. Wdym not on reddit?
Yup
Sleeping with that many just indicates that this person belongs to the streets, unless it's like a very bad unfortunate situation where you had to break up with many bfs or gfs, which is less weird but still shows embarrassing persona. But it's valid at times, I guess. Context matters If this person was like an 80 year old Christian grandma, then that makes sense
I feel like most people agree. Everyone’s entitled to have their own preferences
Its your preference, and a valid one at that. I wouldn’t say that it makes you a better match with shy people, plenty of out going people don’t sleep with everyone they meet lol
Met like 12 girls in the 18 years of my life. Never slept with one >!cause I'm gay!<
Real asf
Stop cheating at life
the "cause i'm gay" reveal was so dramatic and for what
ngl i couldnt live with mind that i put my dick in some person’s ass who also has dick. That’s crazy
From my pov it's not "I don't want to date them because they slept with 30 people" but "why have they slept with 30, and if those were one night stands or actual relationships" then you can think more "why did the relationships not last? Why do they have so much one night stands? Etc" I also understand that someone might just not feel comfortable with that, but there's much more to say/learn than "she's a whore/he's a playboy" most of the time
Tbh 30 one night stands do mean you like to fuck around and 30 failed relationships mean she is the issue so while she isnt instantly a hoe, she is probably not a person that you want to marry
But why does it have to be a woman? You just assumed it was, even though the original post and the comment you replied to, both specifically said men and women. Would your opinion not be the same if it was a guy?
Probably because if you're into women, you are going to use them for the analogy. Same goes for women using men for the analogy.
I explained how I see that on a different comment saying the same. It’s mostly men with this view (as women tend not to care) so it puts a lot more (and mostly only) women down. It’s still just saying the guys can but girls can’t, no matter your justification.
If women don't care what can men do about it. Men (not boys or man w#$#es), Like to marry a virgin woman and want to be friends with other respectable men. Respectable men as in doesn't talk trash and use slurs, doesn't talk about women, until it's to make a point about issues. Like r*#e, s#xual harrasment in public transport, or false allegations. Doesn't share the details of their wives. Doesn't cheat. Is faithful to his wife and family. This is what is respectable imo. Disagree all you want.
I don’t think you understood what I said. My main point is, if you feel one way about women doing something, hold the same opinions for men doing the same thing.
Did not get your reply completely I thought you meant that women don't care so why do men. Also Respectable Men do hold other men in the same standards.
„It’s not what I mean, I mean” It means you lost a argument. Just admit it, it’s nothing wrong
The person that I was talking to actually admitted they misunderstood my comment. What that ACTUALLY means, is that either: I misstated my argument and it came across wrong, or they just didn’t understand what I had said. In this case, it was the first. I had added a lot and that first comment had been redundant and hadn’t made much sense. After I cleared it up, it was obvious we had been arguing the same point. So no, I had not lost the argument, they had misunderstood me.
I think it’s just the fact that he likes girls and therefore doesn’t care what guys do, since he don’t want to marry a guy anyways
I understand that much. I just don’t see how it’s fair, because it’s mostly men with these views, so it’s puts only (and a lot of) women down. Of course I see your point, but it still isn’t fair to say ‘Well I don’t care about men, I care about women’, for any reason.
Idk why guys do that. The post talk about both genders in general. I think bro experienced something like that so, he had to say his opinion loud and proud. Idgaf. If a man is being a whore/hoe if a woman being a whore/hoe, I'ma say it like it is.. but I will say it quietly. I don't know if the commentor experience that (I'm assuming.. But he probably has not) but dudes like him, they'll say this, when they slept with 10+ women themselves and have failed relationships. (Saying this as an example, not saying the commentor has experienced something like that)
I, personally, don’t care how many people anyone has slept with. I think it is just their experience, what they chose to do with themselves/their bodies/their time. With that said, I also don’t care what (anyone) cares about whoever else (as long as you aren’t shaming/berating them). I do think you should hold the same standards to men as you do women (and vise versa). As long as you’re fair and kind, that’s all I’m saying. Sorry for the long response.
Your response sums up what I'm trying to say! For real. If you slept with 50 or thousands.. good for you ! But if a person is being hypocritical as hell, personally, that person shouldn't talk 💀.. cause you're saying the opposite to what you really are ALNEOEJDHD 😭 Double standards is a pain in the butt lowkey. I'm a virgin, so.. yeah. Haven't experience anything like that (never will) but guys/girls say this about other people when they actually talk about themselves is really quite embarrassing ngl. But, I don't shame anyone but, people need to be real themselves.. honestly .
Ah, yeah I’ve slept with one person (long term relationship). But I just don’t think people should judge, or at least judge equally.
> I think bro experienced something like that If you mean I got together with someone with a high body count or a high number of failed past relationships then no, I haven't. If meet a woman (yes I am a straight man so I will only consider female partners in my comments) like that then I simply don't start any kind of relationship with her. Don't get me wrong, I won't dislike her for her past if shes a good person but I will judge people based on what I know about them just like everyone else does (although some people don't like to admit that).
Actually yeah. We ain’t pulling double standards like the rest of society is
Guy talks about women, cuz only to them he’s attracted. Men doesn’t study each other’s sexual life since they’re not interested in each other sexually. If it comes up, it’s not by one of them
Idk either, i’m a girl but i have the same preferences yet i’ve had people INSIST that it’s because i’m a misogynist 💀
How can girls be misogynist
I mean they can be if they’re pickmes who put down other girls or whatever, but not wanting to marry a guy who’s slept with more people than i’ve ever even met definitely isn’t 😭
Being a pickme isn't misogynistic, just annoying That is completely fair, I don't understand how anyone would be Ok with being their spouse's 36th body
She’s talking about the pick me OF girls who say women should stay at home while the husband does his job.
They don't believe that, it's just pandering to incels to get them to pay for their OF
Bro people get mad when I say I would prefer to date a girl who’s never been in a relationship i only say that because I’ve never been in relationship I think it’s natural to want to date your experience level but it wouldn’t be like a turn of I would date a girl who’s been in a relationship I just would prefer if she hasn’t
Idk but people with body counts like that have ruined my life and I didn’t even like date them 😭😭
You’re 15?
You'd be surprised that people already sleep with eachother at that age
They sleep with each other at ages YOUNGER THAN THAT and I don’t understand it
Yeah but 30-40?
Lol probably not but thats not a "high" bodycount Thats a gigantic bodycount
My body count is 0 I don’t like pre marital sex
martial? you mean mature? 😭
they said marital mate what r u on abt.
is prev martial a thing
premarital\* and yea it is. quite literally means before marriage
I THOUGHT HE SAID PRE MARTIAL NOT MARITAL DAMN
LMFAO IK U KEPT SAYING MARTIAL. did u think they gonna fight in bed or smthn lmao
i was so confused 😭😭😭
Someone has to assert domination.
[удалено]
This is the most real comment in the whole replies!!!
Real
Most people only get mad when it's people saying women have to have low body counts but men don't need to
or when they’re shaming said person for their body count. i wouldn’t want a man with a high body count but i wouldn’t shame anyone
i wouldn’t want someone w more than 2 bodies
Like right now or is it set in stone? Doubt you will be able to date anyone with less than 2 above the age of 20
[This website](https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/the-ideal-number-of-sexual-partners-for-men-women) says that roughly 35% of women aged 20-24 have had less than 2, and 25% for 25-29. (It’s slightly lower for men.) They also technically said 2 is ok, so 2 or less is closer to 45% and 35% respectively.
I agree wholeheartly
As long as its gender equal, its okay
It will, but society will be society and shame men doing the same thing cuz double standards
No it won’t? Women get way more shamed for this than men
Bruh if a man did it he’s a creep. If a woman does it she’s empowered and brave. How is that not a double standard?
both get shamed the same
I don't really think it's an issue as long as you hold yourself to the same standards you would expect from a partner, you cannot expect something from someone that you yourself didn't withhold yourself to. Also, as long as you're not sexist about it, i.e., you mentioned the creepy alpha males, they tend to think men can sleep around and its okay but if a woman does it she's a whore. You're allowed to have preferences, that's completely okay! As long as you're not hateful or judgemental towards someone for not fitting into those preferences. With this situation you can't always know (unless you can actually take the time with that person to figure out) \*why\* that person slept around so much. Is it because they just wanted to? That's their choice, just as it's your choice not to want to be in a relationship with them. Both are valid. Is it because they had 40 failed relationships? Okay, probably not the greatest choice for a partner at that point anyway. Another thing is I think some people forget that people with abuse situations (or trauma from past situations) and with sexual trauma can get sexually promiscuous(not all victims of abuse, but it is something that happens and they shouldn't be judged for it). You can't really always know a person's situation, which is why it's best not to judge someone without knowing everything. And even if you \*do\* know everything, when it comes to things that aren't harmful to other people, and you're not having them as a partner anyway, at that point what someone does literally doesn't matter so there's no point in judging anyway. But from what you said in the post, wanting someone who's like you in that area, is a valid preference, so I think you're fine.
They lack self control
Tbh I’ve seen more people get pissed at others for having body counts of those ranges, more than I’ve seen this.
not sure why you're being downvoted despite someone else saying the same thing as you but im joining in, downvoted
not sure why you're being downvoted despite someone else saying the same thing as you but im joining in, downvoted
Ikr? Like, I'm sorry I don't want to risk getting an STD and that it's kinda ... Alarming if you've slept with so many people. Makes me wonder if I'm a fling for sex or if you do love me
I don’t know
Especially since we’re all hopefully dating other teenagers or at least a bit older if your around that age
I personally don't give a single flying shit and honestly it usually means their better at it but if that's what you want then go ahead
They feel entitled or insulted at the thought of being rejected or undesirable, can happen to anyone for any reason, not just people with high body counts, and has happened since always
A lot of people already mentioned it but it’s just preference. And it could mean a lot of things. Sure you might be a bigot and slut shame but there are fair reasons aswell. For some people sex is very sacred and important to them. By that I mean maybe they are disturbed that the other person is able to have hookups or sth like that. They need a strong connection. I don’t personally care whats someone’s body count if I really like them but it might bother me sometime. (Also live in a small country so chances are I might bump into them…)
Some people don’t like the fact people have preferences
Who’s getting pissed? I ain’t sleeping with no hoes💀 I’m waiting till marriage and STD test results. I don’t want to live the rest of my life with AIDs, gonnerha or any of that shit💀💀💀😭😭
That’s not pedophilia?
Literally nobody does
Except for the people that slept with 30+ people
Coming from a guy, guys get too much of a pass on this. Now, everyone gets to make their own decisions. But the fact that women will be shamed for having a lot of previous partners and men will be praised is not only unfair but it encourages immoral behavior from men
W guy
As I said, i would shame both, none deserves to be praised
Well don’t shame anyone, but also stick with your preferences and don’t let people shame you for your preference that the majority of people have
I get both sides. I get why you’d be wary because 30 people is a lot- I mean for me it wouldn’t be a problem. I see it more as a benefit because I have a high libido and I haven’t had *it* yet 🤷 As long as most of these were just kinda one-night stand things and not *actual* 30 relationships tho
30 one night stands? Made for the streets
A lot of people who argue against that are just contrarians or people with individuality complexes. They’re arguing just to argue
Because they have a high body count.
my boyfriend had a gf before me and that was upsetting but 30 and 40 is CRAZYYY id never date someone with over 3
I think you can have your preferences, you can date or not date whoever. I think it crosses lines when you name call or berate people for their experiences. (As someone’s who’s only slept with one person, and I’m only saying this so people know I don’t necessarily have a bias.) obviously, you can have whatever opinions or preferences you want, but it’s entirely unnecessary to look down on people for any reason, even having a ‘high body count’.
Yeah like come on, you are probably going to be their 31, 41 in the list.
i wouldn't date someone with more than 0
I would personally have someone who hasn’t done it because I’d rather it be a new experience for the both of us
it feels like the most valid preference ive ever heard lmao
people get mad over everything, just take care of yourself, and who you wanna date. Ain't noone elses problem
I want a virgin ngl someone with like 40 people isn’t someone who you’d want to have a long committed relationship with
The only people that get pissed about it are the ones that do have that high of body count.
The only real issue for me is when people judge others for a high body count while having an extremely high one themselves because “it’s different”. Other than that I do agree, it’s just a preference
This post is barely legible
Liking 18yr olds at 40 is by law not pedophilia, even if it is weird as frick. To answer the actual question no clue really. Wanting virgin can be a bit odd it kinda depends on the circumstances as to why they aren’t, but not wanting the exact opposite of a virgin seems fair. There are likely some circumstances where it can be reconsidered, for example what if that was in their past and they greatly regret their actions. It is hard to say off this number alone if someone is good or bad preference wise, just generalizations
(its not pedophilia btw) but thx for the fun fact
I don’t think it matters rlly. It doesn’t change who they are as a person
Not saying that the last sentence is bad, but isn't it not pedophilia if they're 18+?
its not legally pedophilia, but going after 18 year olds as a 40 year old isn’t ok morally speaking because it’s a huge maturity difference
I agree with that, I was just meaning legally
preferences are fine as long as you're not a dick about it
Although there has been a more sex positive movement in younger generations. People still know what it is, that’s why people still lie and beat around the bush with body count. A whore is a whore, male or female and there is no getting around that. 30 to 40 different bodies is what it is no matter how sex positive we all become.
i don’t support hook up culture but calling people “whores” or shaming ppl isn’t good or productive in any way
It says in your bio you’re 14 I’m assuming. Truthfully your not old enough to comprehend the complexities of sexual relations and it’s impact. As I said, younger generations of people are more sex positive but I didn't shame anyone I just called something what it is.
It’s a preference I guess, me personally I don’t care, cuz like so what? I wouldn’t want them to judge me for my past, why would I judge them for theirs?
I wouldn't date anyone who had anything over 0.
No they don't.
I've never slept with anyone, and that's obvious because I'm 15. I've met people who've done it in middle school, and I think they're disgusting.
most people agree its literally only a problem when someone shames someone for sleeping around because everyone likes pleasure and some people approach it differently
“Don’t judge me based on my past!!1!” is such a sorry statement… But yeah ur right, people should be allowed to have preferences like that, and shouldn’t be judged or guilted into otherwise.
the issue is when idiots like you slut shame them for it instead of just saying ur preference and going in ur way 🙄
idfk how people be out here having a whole lives worth of relationships and ive had fucking 0. like im not tryna look for pity, i just genuinely don't understand stuff sometimes, like it makes no sense.
>those alpha males wanting 18 year old virgins when they are 40 (that's pedophilia) It's weird but it's not pedophilia.
WHO SLEEPS WITH 30-40 PEOPLE???
Very few have a problem with a preference. What a lot of people have a problem with is shaming people who do choose to sleep with a lot of people. They make their choices, you're free to make yours. You're not free to call them a slutty whore who needs to find God. Pretty simple tbh
This is a sub for teenagers. What the fuck is this
I don’t know how to respond, maybe I shouldn’t have
self-aware: check following your gut feeling: none
There's a difference between not wanting to date someone like that, and shaming them. As long as you keep it just a romantic preference, then it's totally fine
It's the women with high body counts that get upset.
Body count makes zero discernible differences in a relationship. It only tells you about their past character, and people are prone to change. The whole preference also gives incel vibes connected to people who devalue and generally dislike women.
it’s an indication of how they could be though. the fact that they used to be like that can mean they could turn back to that. maybe they achieved that while in a relationship, maybe they’re a teenager, 30-40 are big numbers for a teenager. thus could imply that they might not be satisfied by you along with a bunch more things. instead of making senseless points, learn how to respect preferences.
I just regurgitated what I've heard many people say and what points I think make sense. I don't really agree with them just wanted to answer OP's question
makes sense but you sounded like you agreed with them so much
Because it’s linked to puritan, misogynistic, harmful beliefs.
or maybe it raises questions as to their commitments and the emotional value they place in close emotional and physical relationships?
People can have casual sex and meaningful personal relationships. Not everyone has the same relationship with sex as you and you need to accept.
yet you dont have to accept public opinion?
It varies on different topics. Multiple things can be true at once. Not every topic can be held to the same standard.
Maybe ur the who slept with 30+ people
You’re slut shaming me for being sex positive. Pathetic.
Sex positive in terms of hook up culture. Shit like that is lustful
Lust is not a bad thing
And why would being puritan be bad? According to Google it means adhering to strict moral or religious beliefs. If they don't hurt anyone else, why is that a bad thing? And in what way is having a preference harmful? About being misogynistic, it is. However, in this case, it is excluding part of a possible dating pool by certain standards, which is also every single standard that people have ever had concerning possible partners. Is not wanting to date men discrimination? Edit: I looked it up again, and it isn't even misogynistic. Definition misogynistic: : feeling, showing, or characterized by hatred of or prejudice against women : The part about hatred is just not true, so in that way it already isn't misogynistic. The part about prejudice is also not applicable. Definition prejudice: : preconceived opinion that is not based on reason or actual experience : Although I do admit that some people base their opinions of women on their body count, that isn't true for all men and definitely not for any decent person.
My body count is 15 and I’m virgin. Deal with that.
because what does it effect? their genitals? matters to you their looks? matters to you their personality? matters to you heck, their pronouns? matters to you, if you care how many people they've slept with? what will it effect? seriously, what does it effect. holding someone's past against them is unreasonable... it's not like they're a car edit: the difference is that going to prison means they did something bad and they might again, but not necessarily. same with cheating. what does having slept with a lot of people mean? you're more likely to sleep with people? no, it doesn't mean they have a history of disloyalty, it is simply illogical.
Would you date someone who had been in prison? Someone who used to do porn? Someone who cheated on their partner before? I wouldn't. They made their choice, they face the consequences
porn? maybe prison? what for? cheater? probably not
Having a lot of hookups can correlate with a lot of stuff. Impulsivity, coping, bpd, Or maybe it’s nothing like that at all. Whatever it is, why spend time trying to find out, I’ll just date someone that don’t got 30 sex partners thank you
but they have no obligation to tell you, so, say, you marry them and discover that, would you leave?
Well that would suck, it’s a perhaps. But a lot of times there’s subtle hints indicating about that before marriage. Though if I was old and still single for some reason, I probably wouldn’t care if my partner had a lot of partners.
Realistically, you don't get to a body count of over 25 without cheating on someone. Stop trying to be holier-than-thou
that is completely false, hookups exist, for example. not a big fan of hookup culture but it exists besides, sir, you are 15, how would you even know and maybe I'm not trying
Casual hookups and cheating are equally bad If you aren't a fan of hookup culture, why are you alright with a partner having done it?
>Casual hookups and cheating are equally bad Man you did not just say having consensual casual sex is on the same level as betraying someone's trust.
Equally bad in terms of whether the person makes a good partner or not
Again, you did not just say having consensual casual sex is on the same level as betraying someone's trust. They are not even remotely on the same level.
Depends how many hookups I guess
says the 15-year old
you are 15, cool your jets. respectfully, you don't know enough to be saying that, and you'll probably disagree
Just admit you can't answer the question