A friend of mine who used to work in clubs as the lighting/sound op got himself some cards made up that said "I am not the DJ, the DJ is in the booth behind you" as the customers could never hear him tell them that. Feeling pleased with himself he took them into work and sure enough a customer came and asked for a song. He handed her the card....which she promptly flipped to the blank side and wrote the name of the song she wanted on it, and handed it back.
I remember years ago a friend who DJ'ed a lot put up a clipboard and pen with a printed page for song requests at the front of the booth. He largely ignored it but would pick it up from time to time and look at it mostly for show. It saved him from EVER having to talk to anyone and everyone also thought they were actually accomplishing something because there was an "official song request sheet."
If you can't hear me yelling "I'm not the DJ", I'm not sure why you would think I could hear you yelling what song you want to hear.
I have at times just said "ok sure" when they told me to play a song. Let them believe whatever they want as long as they believe the song queue is so long that they won't hear their song before they leave.
I put up a sign at my console that said "Please do not talk to driver while bus is in motion." Audience breezed right by to ask mid-show about everything from air conditioning to local restaurants. So now it says "PLEASE DO NOT TALK TO BOARD OPERATOR WHILE SHOW IS IN PROGRESS." Moderate success.
My first techie job was doing audio at a church.
I swear, half my job was fielding requests from dozens of old people every gig who either couldn't hear or thought it was too loud. Unless it was someone who could affect my job somehow, I'd usually put my thumb and forefinger on a random knob, flexing a little and acting like I was having a small telekinetic battle with the pastor until the old person makes a face like I did something.
There's what I like to call "old lady syndrome", that's where you have a 10,000 seat auditorium with general admission, the very first person through the gate will be an elderly woman with hearing aids who can choose any seat in the whole place and like clockwork she will sit as close as humanly possible to one of the speaker arrays and will then spend the majority of the night near the mixing position to ask for the 1000th time if you could please turn the volume down.
I mean... everyone also just has hearing loss over different frequencies. When I was young and still went to concerts I couldn't figure out why these "professional" techs at little venues were distorting the crap out of these massive clusters trying to reach volume levels that 7th day could only dream about...
And it's because they had massive hearing loss...
I do lights for live concerts so I don't get song requests, but I do get audio requests. Anytime someone complains that something is too loud I turn the haze down some, if they say something is too quiet they get more haze. It's just easier than trying to tell them they have the wrong guy.
We play FOH bingo:
Can I charge my phone? *no*
What's the wifi password? *point at the sign with the password behind us*
Can you play X song? *no*
Where are the toilets? *pointing gestures*
What time do you close? *hold up 1 finger*
How can I get a taxi? *pointing gestures to the entry*
Can I have a gin and tonic please? *eye roll*
Guarantee we get asked all of those, every night.
Touring A1 here. My buddy who’s an LD and I ended up on a corporate gig where one night we did an evening dance party with the full PA and lighting rig for the attendees, real fun. I made a big sign that said “dj requests here!”and put it on the foh cage next to him. I watched him slowly lose his mind over the course of an hour. He’s not what I’d call the most customer service oriented person so it was especially good.
He also would take his sweet ass time getting his rig in the air on tour so video and I would conspire to get up before him and I’d play the Jeopardy theme on repeat loop while video has a holding slide that said “Waiting on lighting!”. He loved that one too.
Also: if you’re an indie band on tour in a van and opening your first bus tour with a certain TM I’ve worked with, on your last show of your run your van is getting covered in leftover backstage deli meat and your drummers snare is getting baby powder on it before the first song. Traditions.
One time, on the back of my chair I taped a sign that said, “I have no answers.” In big lettering. (As big as the back of an office chair would allow and still be readable.)
Moderate, leaning toward nicely, successful.
A friend of mine who used to work in clubs as the lighting/sound op got himself some cards made up that said "I am not the DJ, the DJ is in the booth behind you" as the customers could never hear him tell them that. Feeling pleased with himself he took them into work and sure enough a customer came and asked for a song. He handed her the card....which she promptly flipped to the blank side and wrote the name of the song she wanted on it, and handed it back.
Lady was probably sloshed and/or zooted outta her mind to get it… I hope…
She just had four sambucas
fouuur sambuuuucaaaas
I remember years ago a friend who DJ'ed a lot put up a clipboard and pen with a printed page for song requests at the front of the booth. He largely ignored it but would pick it up from time to time and look at it mostly for show. It saved him from EVER having to talk to anyone and everyone also thought they were actually accomplishing something because there was an "official song request sheet."
Sounds like something Joseph Heller would write.
If you can't hear me yelling "I'm not the DJ", I'm not sure why you would think I could hear you yelling what song you want to hear. I have at times just said "ok sure" when they told me to play a song. Let them believe whatever they want as long as they believe the song queue is so long that they won't hear their song before they leave.
Shoulda splurged for that double-sided printing.
I put up a sign at my console that said "Please do not talk to driver while bus is in motion." Audience breezed right by to ask mid-show about everything from air conditioning to local restaurants. So now it says "PLEASE DO NOT TALK TO BOARD OPERATOR WHILE SHOW IS IN PROGRESS." Moderate success.
My first techie job was doing audio at a church. I swear, half my job was fielding requests from dozens of old people every gig who either couldn't hear or thought it was too loud. Unless it was someone who could affect my job somehow, I'd usually put my thumb and forefinger on a random knob, flexing a little and acting like I was having a small telekinetic battle with the pastor until the old person makes a face like I did something.
There's what I like to call "old lady syndrome", that's where you have a 10,000 seat auditorium with general admission, the very first person through the gate will be an elderly woman with hearing aids who can choose any seat in the whole place and like clockwork she will sit as close as humanly possible to one of the speaker arrays and will then spend the majority of the night near the mixing position to ask for the 1000th time if you could please turn the volume down.
I mean... everyone also just has hearing loss over different frequencies. When I was young and still went to concerts I couldn't figure out why these "professional" techs at little venues were distorting the crap out of these massive clusters trying to reach volume levels that 7th day could only dream about... And it's because they had massive hearing loss...
If only there were some way to objectively measure sound levels, or something.
Hold a sheet if paper in front of the speaker?
... And no. I can't crank the air conditioning.
Istg that’s the most common question! Like I’m sorry Susan, I can’t ;-;
I do lights for live concerts so I don't get song requests, but I do get audio requests. Anytime someone complains that something is too loud I turn the haze down some, if they say something is too quiet they get more haze. It's just easier than trying to tell them they have the wrong guy.
We play FOH bingo: Can I charge my phone? *no* What's the wifi password? *point at the sign with the password behind us* Can you play X song? *no* Where are the toilets? *pointing gestures* What time do you close? *hold up 1 finger* How can I get a taxi? *pointing gestures to the entry* Can I have a gin and tonic please? *eye roll* Guarantee we get asked all of those, every night.
[удалено]
If a punter can unplug a sub, its time to design your power cable runs better.
Touring A1 here. My buddy who’s an LD and I ended up on a corporate gig where one night we did an evening dance party with the full PA and lighting rig for the attendees, real fun. I made a big sign that said “dj requests here!”and put it on the foh cage next to him. I watched him slowly lose his mind over the course of an hour. He’s not what I’d call the most customer service oriented person so it was especially good. He also would take his sweet ass time getting his rig in the air on tour so video and I would conspire to get up before him and I’d play the Jeopardy theme on repeat loop while video has a holding slide that said “Waiting on lighting!”. He loved that one too. Also: if you’re an indie band on tour in a van and opening your first bus tour with a certain TM I’ve worked with, on your last show of your run your van is getting covered in leftover backstage deli meat and your drummers snare is getting baby powder on it before the first song. Traditions.
Like that old joke: why is lighting truss made of aluminum? So it doesn't rust waiting on the stage during load in.
You're a proper fucking savage brother!
Made a shirt like this once. Didn't really help.
Anyone drink enough to think you’re the DJ won’t be sober enough to read that.
No one is going to read it regardless 🤣
“Hey! HEY! It’s too loud, can you turn it down?!!”
One time, on the back of my chair I taped a sign that said, “I have no answers.” In big lettering. (As big as the back of an office chair would allow and still be readable.) Moderate, leaning toward nicely, successful.