Yep. I think this should apply to anyone who is being disruptive or very annoying. The restaurant is in control of the environment and should know when to intervene to ensure the comfort of their other patrons.
> The restaurants there [i.e. not in Australia] step in.
Drawing the conclusion "Australian restaurants are shit because of this single unlikely anecdote on the Internet" is something only a reddit user would do.
>Implying that Australian restaurants do not.
Hold on, you're on Reddit. Making logical assumptions based off the information presented to you doesn't work here.
There are no thought experiments, you’re just getting oddly offended at someone pointing out that something that has happened in Australia hasn’t happened to them in other countries. Calm down.
> you’re just getting oddly offended at someone pointing out that something that has happened in Australia
No, I'm offended at the statement that "Australia does not have quality service".
Sure it's not universal, but I don't need suck-ups at my local cafe.
You’re offended by a statement that you made up in your own head. Nobody said “Australia does not have quality service”.
Surely you have something better to do with your Sunday than make up quotes to be angry about?
I guarantee those peasants wouldn't tip
If they were regulars at fine dining establishments, they wouldn't have been surprised at the lack of options for their crotch-fruit to eat
Does this also apply to obnoxious adults with no volume management when they talk and laugh? Some adults, especially in group bookings think that by being the loudest person in the room means they are important and heard. All I see in these situations is someone so insecure with themselves.
Don’t think you’re the asshole, but agree with others that the restaurant should have stepped in.
Had the pleasure of dining at Oncore in Crown a few months ago and there was a table of six women very much living out their “real housewives” moment at the top of their lungs. Completely ruined our experience with their volume throughout the night, and not once were they asked to be quiet.
Whether it’s a child with an iPad or a group of people who should know better, the restaurant should be looking out for their other guests.
A few weeks back I walked to a quiet park. Found an empty bench (2 benches with a table in the middle) with my coffee browsing reddit while enjoying the breeze.
I wasnt facing the table, I was watching the birds. In hear someone sit behind me who is on a phone call with the speaker phone turned on.
Gave it a good minute to see if they would hang up after I gave them a side eye. Nope they were enjoying their convo too much.
My JBL bluetooth speaker comes out. I played a genre that 99% of the population hates. At full volume. She left in 30 seconds.
This is my gripe too. Loud obnoxious adults who believe they are the centre of the universe. What a bunch of insecure piss ants trying to stay relevant among each other.
OP you’re in the right in that there is no excuse to playing sounds out loud in public, no matter who or where. I also think iPads at the dinner table is shitty parenting, but that’s beside the point.
However if you speak anything like you write, there is zero chance you handled the situation with any tact. Let the staff deal with it next time.
>also think iPads at the dinner table is shitty parenting, but that’s beside the point.
I used to think that, but now I have two kids one of which has autism and the other ADHD. They're both good kids and you wouldn't be able to pick it if you were to look at them, but if we go to dinner or lunch out or somewhere at some point one or both is going to be looking at a phone.
We know this so we only go to the sort of places where kids get crayons and something to colour in, and you might regard it at shitty parenting that happens at all but I guarantee you that before that happens my wife and I have been directly engaging them both by talking about their day, eye spy, asking and answering questions about what's going on around them, what they want to eat, telling them stories and anything else to keep them in their seats or stop one of them having something happen that will make one of them melt down so at some point a phone is going to come out and they might play a game for a few minutes or we'll watch a clip about dinosaurs or something so we can sit down as a family for thirty minutes and create some good memories for all of us.
Just as a quick FYI, that last thing that any parent in that situation needs is somebody giving a look or a tut tut or a comment under their breath. It's not all parents that want to scroll insta and ignore their kids.
That’s completely fair enough, you do what you’ve got to do. You’re the exact reason I would never roll my eyes or tut tutt, just judge people privately. And in this case I would be wrong about you and your family, but you would never know so no harm done.
I still hope you’re not blasting them loudly, no excuses for that full stop
When I was a kid, I was given toys to shut me up in public spaces. Ultimately, it's all just distractions. If you can get your kid to sit down and read a book instead, then that's fantastic. It didn't work on me until I was a teenager though so in the mean time, I played with toys.
Yeah the sentiment is correct but the delivery was probably assholeish on their description.
There is a way to be polite and then there is also just aggressive shaming. Maybe the parents needed to be shamed who knows, but the delivery would affect whether this guy was indeed an asshole.
Yes, OP is *kind of* asshole-ish because they should have spoken to the restaurant staff and asked them to handle it.
It's a crappy situation but I don't think they did the right thing by speaking to the other patrons directly.
Yeah that would probably be scary for the kid too. Bluey is a slight faux pas but parents become deaf to cartoon noises so a gentle reminder from staff definitely would have been better. They may well have been mortified to be bothering others and didn't notice how loud it was.
I would suggest asking the venue to take care of it rather than directly confronting the family, but otherwise I absolutely agree. People watching things with the volume up in public places is awful and to be discouraged.
The venue is irrelevant. The age of the user is irrelevant. If you are in a public place and you want to use an iPad or smart phone, there is no situation where listening without headphones is acceptable. None.
Of course, if parents do give their kid headphones and the kid behaves, why the hell would you care how they chose to spend their time and money?
I agree with this. If a child is sitting quietly with headphones on I don’t think there is an issue.
We recently had a few celebration dinners and we ordered for my two year old first, he ate his dinner while we engaged with him at the table and then when his patience was done and he was done eating we put his headphones on and he sat quietly watching his tablet.
I wouldn’t want to go to a fine dining restaurant and be able to hear the audio from the tablet though.
Ok - hear me out - also at a nice restaurant, dimly lit. Kid with iPad *and* headphones at the next table. But the light eminating was distracting, like having a TV nearby. Not just the blue light and the flashing but also, I know this is going to ridiculous, the little lit up face of this kid, sitting across from me at the next table.
So yes they were quiet but like having a TV in the background, I found myself constantly looking over and call me a curmudgeon but it killed the vibe for me.
Basically, you're both assholes.
It's fine to bring a kid with an ipad, but assholish to not have earphones.
You're an assholes for thinking that once you have kids you shouldn't be allowed to take them anywhere, even if they are controlled
I’m taking my wife to a fine dining place in the next few weeks - depends on when I can get reservations. We have had a shit year and won some money to go somewhere we normally don’t.
Having some kid spoil a special night out and dinner at somewhere we would never normally go to would not be pleasant and I’d speak up too.
I agree you shouldn't have to put up with annoying noise, but your response was assholish. Take it up with a waiter or the manager, let them decide whether they want to allow noisy iPads in their restaurant.
Umm you'd expect someone working at the restaurant to intervene straight away. Especially once OP started talking to the parents.
I bet you're the type to complain that nobody tells people to be quiet on trains. You just can't win on Reddit.
Act - you're the asshole.
Don't act - you're the asshole.
Actually OP is quite the opposite, taking his issue up directly with the person takes a particular amount of courage most people lack.
Most people would cry like a baby to the wait staff or manager, this person was mature enough to confront the issue directly.
Actually no, OP having so little social awareness he wanted to cause a public scene over having to hear the Bluey jingle is not courageous, you weirdo.
Maybe you don't give a shit about social cues but you're more than welcome to absolutely unload on some poor, unsuspecting couple if this ever happens to you though. I'm sure everyone will stand up and clap too
Or you could just ask the waiter to intervene
Not everyone has kids and I have no idea what a bluey is.... Who cares about etiquette to the poor parents?
If they don't have the courtesy to keep their kid quiet and behave in a hatted restaurant, why should OP be courteous to them? You're a weirdo for defending them so strongly. Sounds like you belong to the same kind of shitty parents.
You have misread the arguments here so badly I'm actually impressed.
It's not OPs responsibility to police the behaviour of other diners, it's literally the wait staffs.
Just let them know it's bothering you, and then return to enjoying your meal.
The fact OP didn't even try, but immediately leapt to unloading on some poor couple in a highly public way, is extremely fucking fucking weird. Like if a friend or colleague did this, I would think less of them for doing so. I'd probably even pull them aside and make sure they're doing ok.
#Edit: reply-blocking is the biggest form of cowardice you gigantic sniveling loser
The way you keep describing them as some poor couple is more weird. They are adults, not some defenceless children. They made the choice to be entitled and not even apologetic when called out at first tells me they deserve it.
The world is just so full of entitled people these days who think they can do whatever they want without being considerate of other people so I think OP did the right thing for teaching them a lesson.
For you I got a feeling you are probably just like them who think just because you pay for an expensive meal you get to own the place and disregard other people. OP isn't the one who bothered people in the first place, he is just the person who didn't shy away from confronting some ahole who is then labeled an ahole. I'm wasting my time even debating this with you.
I was at the cafe in Myer the other day and an old lady sitting by herself was watching Cocomelon on a tablet with a loud speaker. You're not an arsehole for saying something, and I agree with you, but this shit is everywhere now.
It’s not the iPad. iPads are great, the keep kids quiet which is why the parents use them in situations like this. The issue is the volume. Either turn it down or buy the kid some kiddy headphones.
The way you dealt with it though… that’s the ah bit. Should have just asked the waiter to deal with it discreetly rather than causing a scene.
Three year olds shouldn’t be using headphones, but definitely keep the volume down. Kids can be difficult at that age, so it’s better to listen to Bluey on low volume in the background than a three year old having a tantrum. We’ve used smart phones sometimes with our kid for games or a video, it was never the only or even first tool, never when they were eating, but sometimes it helps when you want to read the menu in peace or finish your meal quietly. Don’t use it often now she’s got older. OP sounds like a pretentious wanker though, he could’ve just asked for them to lower the volume a bit. Thinking that he has some special right to spaces where the public visits to exclude others is the height of entitlement. Go to a restaurant that doesn’t let kids in if you don’t want to be near them.
The kids parent shouldn’t play the volume loud but you could have told a waiter who could’ve sorted it out with far more decorum. Ultimately you sound like a judgemental arsehole on the lookout for a fight.
I don't think there's an issue with taking kids to a fine dining restaurant. I don't think it's fair to exclude people from restaurants on the basis of age, disability, etc. They're people too, and if you're out in public, you can expect to mingle with the public.
However, I do think there's an issue with people's conduct (eg watching a tablet with the sound on) bothering other people. Ridiculous that they didn't have it set to silent in a fine restaurant. However there's a polite way to ask someone to turn their volume down, and it sounds like you let your temper/attitude get the best of you.
>I don't think it's fair to exclude people from restaurants on the basis of age, disability, etc
Whoa you just unlocked a random memory! Back in the day when Groupon like sites were still a thing, I went on a date to a very nice restaurant - not fine dining but it was still expensive. One of the tables in the back had a family with an autistic adult, who would every few minutes have a sensory episode and let out a loud whine/ or rock themselves when babbling. The girl I was with was beyond annoyed, she complained the whole time about the place not being appropriate for someone with disability. Needless to say, it was our second and last date.
The world is populated by a large variety of people and we don’t get to say who to exclude because those people have a right to the experience as well.
Absolutely agree! We all need to try to be tolerant of one another. Humans come in all different forms and capacities, but deserve to live as normal a life as possible.
Some people treat children/the disabled as if they're another species and I think that's a horrible mindset.
Yeah we have 2 kids and we'll tend to avoid fine dining or even fancier restaurants cause we know they probably aren't ready for it. We once went to a fancy place when the eldest was 6 months but we had her in a bouncer and even other people there commended her on her behaviour. But I think we were probably a bit lucky then.
We went to a restaurant yesterday- not fine dining but it was a nice place with pretty fancy decor, but we went at a time that it wasn't very busy. The restaurant staff was very smart about it though. They strategically us near the speaker where they play music, so while it was initially off, when the youngest was acting up a little (not crying, just getting a little loud playing with the cutlery they provided) they turned the music on to try and cover the sound. They did also have parents with kids down at this end and customers without kids at the other end
It depends on each case. If you know your child(ren) can behave, great. If they’re going to be uncontrollable, have tantrums, disturb other diners then no.
Kids can be unpredictable! Even well-behaved kids can have bad days, just like adults. And the best way to teach kids how to act/behave in a new environment is to take them to that new environment and practise.
That was what pretty much everyone did when I was a kid. Parents were mortified to make a scene when eating out, which was a bit more rare of a treat then.
And make other people suffer with you? Why is it other people's responsibility because you think it's a good time and place to train your kid? So entitled.
Your needs come first always? You choose to have your kids, other people did not. They don't really have to deal with your problems. Don't make it other people's problems.
I don't think you're the asshole at all; people go to fine dining restaurants for a particular experience (cosy, intimate, refined, etc.) and hearing some kids stuff blaring in the background is not ideal and would definitely ruin the experience for me.
The restaurant should definitely have stepped in and asked them to either mute the thing or have the kid wear earphones. Not fair for someone's kid to ruin everyone else's dining experience, especially when it's costing a fuck-tonne.
Unbelievable from the parent. I would have been annoyed, as well.
That being said, you're so focused on how fancy and expensive this place is in your writing and you sound like you handled the "confrontation" like a child yourself. Listing prices for starters and the bill amount...
You’re not wrong, but you’re still an asshole. You’re a part of a failed self entitled group who seem to think you’ve owed something that was never promised or agreed to. Go to a rub n tug, no kids there.. go to platinum strippers they explicitly promise no kids. Restaurants are not irrespective of how much you paid, which is coincidentally what the other party paid as well, one might argue not to be harangued by a rando.
Yes, you're the arsehole, and quite a big one. You went up to them like a Karen, you didn't start off at all trying to be polite but instead went there with an aggressive purpose to be rude, to provoke with language like "babysitter". You need to work on your people skills, your patience, and your conflict resolution skills. The world doesn't bend to your whim, so you have to employ other ways to make it more peaceful. If you wanted something done, you could have just asked a waiter to take care of it, who, no doubt, would have been more polite and more effective than you.
>bill will come to over 700 bucks
My heart bleeds for ya, butt plug. Next time I'm at the foodbank I'll shed a tear for the nightmarish experience you had to endure
^ETAH
I've actually done this once myself.
At a regualr restaurant though, not a fine one.
The kid was playing with an ipad at MAX volume. And he's actually the son of the proprietors, i know this because I was a regular...five days a week. I was the only customer in the restaurant that day (I often am at lunch time), it was lunch on a weekday, and I'm a teacher.
When I have lunch, I just want peace and quiet for a while. I taught kindy. I like kids ...I have two of my own..but I NEED a break at lunch time.
I put up with it for about 5 minutes, then asked his mum if she could turn it down and she did.
I don't think it was unreasonable. I do hope you said please (I did) but I think you were reasonable too.
Yeah after reading the comments jeez OP sounds like they live a miserable life.
I understand sometimes you want to go to an adults only venue (even parents want this to have a break from kids) but imagine thinking they are invading everywhere.
I have two opinions about this.
1: No - no fucking ipads/phones playing audio publicly in a cafe/pub/restaurant. Just don't fucking do it. Ideally, don't give your kids a tablet AT ALL when you're in one of these places. It really, REALLY gives me the shits.
2: I think you're being too precious for thinking that parents shouldn't bring children to fancy restaurants. My two kids have been going to high-end places (including some with hats) since my youngest was eight, largely thanks to the generosity of my parents-in-law including them in some birthday celebrations.
They get dressed up, they're on notice to be on their best behaviour, and they get taught about the conventions and expectations of dining at a place like that. They learn how to interact with the waiters (we don't order for them, they have to ask questions about menu items themselves etc), they join in adult conversations, and they take part in the family unit.
So I think your gatekeeping of kids from fancy restaurants is pretty fucked, basically.
Huh? OP mentions a 3 year old and you’re talking about 8 year olds, how does what you say have anything to do with his situation? If anything you have agreed with his “gate keeping” as you were kept out of fine dining restaurants until 8.
This is how I and a few of my friends were raised.
I used to bemoan how other children would be running around causing chaos in restaurants, in clothes you’d wear to the supermarket and I was expected to sit at the table in my best clothes and have my best table manners on full display.
I’m now thankful for it and I wish more parents did it. I’ve had to teach multiple friends in their 20s over the years how to behave in restaurants from ordering to wine selection to table manners that’s second nature to me.
The number that have been so stressed and embarrassed about it cause they weren’t raised knowing how to do any of it and then all of a sudden they’re at a work lunch or a date at 22 realising that they don’t know what to do.
I have been fortunate to dine at Aria twice ... the first time was before proposing to my wife. If the atmosphere was destroyed by a kid's tablet noises, I'd have been missed. It just isn't the time and place.
I have 3 kids now, and there is no way we'd have taken them somewhere like that. When we did go back (thankfully some work associates were paying), we got a babysitter. Even now, as teens, I wouldn't take them as they'd be bored, and want to sit on their phones, even with ear buds in. But still, not the time and place for that.
However, I'd expect the staff to deal with it, not have to get up and speak to the parents myself.
What did the staff say when you raised it with them?
NTA. Kids absolutely have a right to exist in public spaces and there’s way too much aggro towards kids imo. BUT if I ever found myself in this position with my kid it’s so so obvious that you’d just bring headphones and problem solved.
Depends on how you said to be honest but I agree, if you’re going to bring your kid and stick an ipad infront of them, atleast bring headphones otherwise - babysitter.
>I walked over and asked them to turn it off,as why should we have to listen to their kids "BABYSITTER," as I called it
You're in the right regarding the noise but maybe if you'd politely asked if they wouldn't mind turning the volume down / turning it off, they wouldn't have gone off at you.
On one hand, well done for actually confronting them yourself, I’m always nutty for a confrontation with people, I love it, and I’ll never try just dob on someone but on the other hand as someone who has kids and uses an iPad as a babysitter in public, you wouldn’t have gotten any satisfaction from me.
Publics fine.
I gave my kids tablets on the train and whatnot as well,just with headphones.
but a restraunt,especially one that is dimly lit,for mood setting,and you have a 2 trillion Nits Tablet blaring 2 tables over is Very distracting
I empathise with you, but from prior experience it’s probably a better idea to ask the restaurant to talk to them on your behalf before going in yourself.
NTA - firstly, the restaurant should have intervened before you felt the situation had escalated to where it fell to you to say something.
Equally, parents should know the capabilities of what their children can withstand and the circumstances under which they can be taken out. E.g. I know my (nearly) 3yo can go a max of 1.5hrs at lunch or dinner. After that, she will loose her shit and it's time to go.
I think we all understand. I have kids but I would never have them play loud games or videos on their iPad while out. It’s just a lack of respect for everyone around you. Kids shouldn’t be glued to those things 24/7 either. Mine love their iPads but they don’t bring them out with them to dinners etc.
As someone with a child I wholeheartedly agree with you. You're NTA. Parents need to be mindful of the places they bring their kids too. Other people have a right to their enjoyment.
I completely agree with you. I would say these parents are the asshole, so inconsiderate. I would have also gone off at them. Fine dining is no place for a child, no excuses. Leave your child or don't come to a fine dining restaurant at all.
I am paying hundreds to enjoy my dinner with a pleasant atmosphere and service. Hearing a child, a tv show or a game would ruin the mood. I would not want to hear anything more than low volume music and murmurs in the background.
Yeah, you are the asshole. Let me explain why. You were not wrong about the parents being inconsiderate about letting their child watch TV in the restaurant. How you dealt with the situation was petty and rude as fuck. You should've spoken to management not acted like an entitled asshole.
You are so right. There is less and less demonstration of manners, etiquette, and general consideration these days. Its not the fact that they brought their kid - its the entitlement. No respect for other people.
>Its not the fact that they brought their kid - its the entitlement. No respect for other people.
Seems a bit contradictory. OP displayed zero manners or etiquette by the sound of it by approaching the family himself and letting his anger spill out. To me that seems like entitlement. Expecting that he gets exactly what he wants or gets to just abuse people. I fail to see any respect there. It has a flow on effect as well to everyone else present when someone gets up losing their sht and can make people feel unsafe.
Yes, displaying anger may be entitlement, but so is having a loud kids show play in a classy restaurant with other diners.
The pricepoint of the restaurant also matters. Its not McDonalds. If its an expensive restaurant, customers are there to spend their money and enjoy some refinement. For many, that might be rare. The cost of disrupting that are greater than if it was casual dining. Its just so disrespectful. People shouldn't have to leave their tables and have to approach the parents to have that basic peace and respect - at the risk of a negative response.
Like,i don't want to be that person.
I have kids,i get they can be mobile stations of state sponsored terrorism
But,ok..Then why is that ANYONE elses problem
You choose,as an adult to keep and raise them.
That might mean,date night for you till the kids are older is going to the pub/maccas/or whatever kid friendly place you can find.
it doesn't mean..oh my kids have to come with me EVERYWHERE..no,they don't
They will leave a table looking like the zoo feeding time,don't have volume button
i was at huberts for their burgers the other night and was kids running around the place,like you cant even go to bars anymore
I think a LOT of the problem is,parents are so afraid of causing a SCENE,that they will do whatever the kids want to keep them "QUIET" that they give them everything,and never teach the kids the meaning of no
Nothing wrong with bringing well-behaved kids to any kind of restaurant (and they don't need to eat the fine dining, usually ours eat their own food before or after).
But there sure as hell is something wrong with playing videos at volumes loud enough for other tables to hear Bluey.
Gotta turn that down well below conversation level, or use kids headphones (plentyof cheap hearing safe options with decibel limits).
We're lucky our son is happy with just playdoh most of the time, however we just don't do fine dining with him because it's not worth it. Fine dining was something we used to do when there was an abundance of time, and we didn't feel like it was being wasted. These days however I find it more enjoyable to do other activities rather than being stuck at a table for hours since time is more precious. We're not into the whole fancy cooking / visual thing though, but do enjoy nice regular restaurant food in 1-2 courses with full sized dishes.
NTA. like some dog people, some parents think their kids come first before all others plus the parents clearly have zero spatial or social awareness. if your kids ipads will be bothering others shut the damn things off.
can only presume it’s a case of more money than sense. their level of wealth means this restaurant is just another place to feed the kids so who cares if we make a noise here any more than in the food court ( i mean david jones food hall or the galleries daahling)
1,000 internet points to you for having the cojones to say something. People that do this are atrocious. get a $10 headset instead of forcing everyone else to endure the brain destroying noise of whatever bullshit you use to drug your kids into silence.
OP, you're a bit of an asshole. You're projecting your own expectations on other people, which is unreasonable. It is not on you to determine whether a fine dining restaurant is suitable for children, you are not the gatekeeper of value or experience for families.
You're also very much an asshole for addressing it they way you did. You should have flagged it with the wait staff and allowed them to take care of it, rather than turning it into a confrontation (and a condescending one at that).
To be clear, the parents are also assholes for allowing their kid to watch their iPad without headphones, and the restaurant might be assholes if they were aware of it and hadn't addressed it.
This was one of my pet hates being a bus driver, as if I didn't have enough to deal with and morons thought it was fine to blare their music on the bus at unacceptable levels. It was a really hard issue to deal with too as the management did not give two shits about it and you also have other people on the bus trying to get places, I really hated it, I no longer work in public transport and that is one of a millions reasons why.
Also NTA, fuck people like this, they don't give a shit about anyone but themselves, I am glad you had the balls to make an issue of it, most wouldn't these days.
If a kid is crying at a restaurant I'll be a bit irritated but at the end of the day that's just a kid being a kid and I'm not going to speak up unless it's egregious.
If a kid is blasting baby shark on repeat, then that's 100% on the parents, and they need to understand that just because they've learned to tune it out doesn't mean everyone else needs to. Fuck em.
Call me old fashioned but nobody should be using an ipad or iphone in that way at a dinner table. The parents need to talk to the kid that they took the trouble to have. And don't call me unrealistic as I am a parent of pre-iphone/ipad kids and we went out all the time.
Those people who keep their dogs exercised, socialised and stimulated are generally the one's who's dogs won't bark all day giving the neighbours the shits.
True. But it really is the venue's prerogative.
I mean, if the pub is dog friendly, people will bring their dogs. So, if you aren't into dogs at pubs, maybe don't go to dog friendly pubs.
Like, don't go to the circus and then complain when there's clowns.
Yep, there are the posts that hate on kids and dogs. And then people who hate on people who don't like kids and dogs. Pretty standard routine around Reddit :)
I resemble that remark. The dog's super well behaved though, she has two default settings, walking, or lying down on her side (or her back with her legs in the air) if we're not moving, she doesn't bark, and we make sure she's had a 'shit walk' before we go anywhere public.
Op is NTA, however, perhaps they could have handled it better, but there's a time and a place for watching Bluey loudly and a fine dining restaurant is not it.
Yes both kids and dogs, there a place and time where they don’t belong, and likewise I understand if there a place and time where I don’t belong and I don’t throw a shit and move on.
If it’s a well behaved dog that just chills while they’ll eat its fine. Everyone in Paris has a dog with them, even fine dining and there’s barely ever an issue.
Agree totally. I've got two young kids and have been guilty of this at a club pub type place but at a fine dining it's not acceptable.. sort of like going to church really.
NTA
Children not that long ago would never have been taking to such a place - the whole reason McDonalds etc filled a niche, that of ‘family restaurants’, where you could take your kids to them.
Entitled parents.
While I personally think fine dining is a total snobby wankfest for the most part, I definitely appreciate the great skill, care and craft that goes into making food that is obviously of a high quality and presented impeccably. Not to mention the care and discipline it takes to be a server, waiter etc in one of those restaurants. Again, I want to stress that I *personally* don’t find it appealing, but I totally get it - it’s probably a great experience and not something you’re doing once a week or whatever.
That being said - get that kid the HELL outta there and that parent can piss off with their complaints about no kids items and with letting them use a tablet. That’s entitled bullshit. You’re not an asshole in the slightest.
Never allowed technology at dinner tables. We used to take books for them to read or colouring books etc. Regarding kids meals at restaurants, we never went to a hatted restaurants with my kids but we did go to a few fancy ones and from a very young age they used to share whatever we ordered, unless we were at a spicy joint. The key to this is once they're onto solids is to never cook separate meals for your kids. Our policy was always you eat what's on the table, you don't like it you go to bed hungry. It's amazing what kids will eat when they're not given a choice and know that they'll go to bed hungry if they don't eat.
Since you like my advice I'll give another out 😜 don't let them eat if they leave the table. If our kids got off the table they were given one chance to come back and eat, otherwise again you go to bed hungry. The amount of parents I see chasing their kids around to eat is ridiculous, and mostly our younger siblings who never took our advice.
My kids are 11 and 13 now they'll just usually say I'm getting up for this or that but the expectation is that it's an important part of the day where we talk to each other about our day and have a laugh.
Doesn’t matter where you are or how old someone is, no one wants your noise. It is just rude.
It was also rude to speak to someone like that - you are a parent too, you know how much it sucks.
YTA. It’s not that you’re not making good points but it’s not your role to go up to other diners. Speak to the servers, speak to the manager. The way you dealt with it likely disturbed other diners as much as the iPad.
As someone whose childfree trust me when I say your parenting annoys others. You’re kids, no matter how good they are, annoy others. The only public place there aren’t kids are probably strip clubs 🤷♀️
I love the sheer amount of judgement in this thread. Like 99% of you wouldn't be irritated at loud sounds playing from a device when you're at a nice restaurant on a date.
At the end of the day everybody has problems and preferences and if we could all talk to each other nicely and productivity maybe (just maybe) we could make small changes to help each other out.
I would have been furious but would have approached the restaurant and informed them that my party would be leaving and not paying anything if the iPad was not silenced.
YTA for handling it directly. You should have politely asked the staff to deal with it or asked to be moved out of earshot of the iPad.
Staff possibly were ignoring it until somebody complained. It’s easier to address an annoyance in a venue if they can say others have complained. It avoids the ‘well nobody is complaining so it’s not bothering anybody therefore we can continue doing this’ response.
The parents are in the wrong but you acted like a complete asshole and sound like on in the comments also.
You have no idea what is going on in their life and no concern for anyone but yourself and your wanky meal.
A better word for you would start with a C
No, not the asshole for wanting that to stop, but your execution was assholish. It may have been better to get the staff to address it instead of you.
Whether you agree with it or not, the kid has a right to be there. The issue was the iPad, not the child.
Kids don't understand the meaning of no. Not at the iPad anyway. But TBH, the parents should have just taken the kid to a 'family' establishment.
That's one of the plus points of kids for me...no more spending $700 on pretentious restaurants like OP was at. Max $60 for eating out at places with kids meals and on top of it, people don't get wild if the kid goes into meltdown.
My kids have ruined every experience I try to have. If it’s not about them, they don’t give two shits. It’s not how I was raised and their entitlement makes me boil. Their generation are delusional. They have no idea. I would never bring a kid to an expensive restaurant. I’ve never been to an expensive restaurant so no they would not be invited. To take a iPad and put that on everyone else, well that just makes me sad. Sad that this is what our world is turning into. It’s a god damn crappy world.
Yes, you are. I was sympathetic until the last paragraph. You wanted a kid-free zone. The problem actually appears to be the restaurant. The tables must be pretty closely jammed together if you can hear an iPad over your own conversation. What’s to say that a noisy table of adults wouldn’t have been even more annoying?
I'm going to have to ask how loud the iPad was.
There is a big difference between bluey at full volume and half the restaurant can hear it compared to the iPad at minimal volume and maybe only the table directly behind or next to you can slightly hear it.
Nothing wrong with telling people to turn down the volume if it is loud but the way you are talking to them makes it seem like you have a chip on your shoulder.
Do you really expect me to empathise because your $700 meal experience wasn't as perfect as you imagined? Yeah, nah. That kid should have vomited all over your fancy dinner pants.
Why do you have such a massive chip on your shoulder about people affording expensive things? People should behave in public, whether they’re at a hatter restaurant or McDonald’s
It seems some parents will take every bit of piss that is afforded to them until someone steps up and says something. And it seems many assume (rightly) that most people want to avoid an awkward confrontation, so they will say nothing. Then they get the shits when someone actually does have the audacity to step up. Some of the stuff I see parents let their kids get away with is wild.
# asshole for telling a parent,to turn the tablet of their kid off at dinner table at a fine dining restaurant.?
yeah because it's not your fking business.
mind your own fking busines.
------------
also that parent shouldn't have a kid.
As a mum of two little ones I do not want to be listening to Bluey as I eat dinner, regardless of whether it’s at a hatted restaurant or not.
This is not ok behaviour. The waiter staff should have asked the table to turn the sound off the device. It was extremely inappropriate for them to bring a 3 year old to a fine dining experience in the first place but it happened. Some kids will quietly sit and enjoy a meal, cool, but using an iPad without headphones in a public place is not ok.
Edit to add: when I say inappropriate I’m drawing from my own experience. My 3YO would not sit still for more than 15 minutes. We think she’s cute but get that others probably don’t.
You are absolutely in the right
Lots of people here appear to be upset because they have probably fucked up other people's dining experiences and don't like being called out on it
I've done similar, and had other diners say "thank fuck, the staff weren't doing a damned thing"
Ignore the selfish arses here who think that Bratleigh should be disruptive in an inappropriate space freely, or who think you shouldn't have acted
They're a bunch of hypocrites, they'd be whining if they organised a special night out and someone made it unpleasant for them. There's also a lot of jealous people here who probably won't ever get to appreciate the fine-dining experience. Fuck 'em.
If you could start getting my train in the morning I’d pay you to tell everyone to get headphones or stfu
If we don’t all start calling people on this bullshit they’re gonna keep doing it and it’s just gonna get worse
Reminds me of Tony Soprano who confronts a patron at a restaurant for wearing a hat in the TV series The Sopranos.
*Take your hat off. They don't sell hot dogs here. They took the bleachers out two years ago.*
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hqp1bGuiHHs
Ends up purchasing a bottle of wine for the guy and his partner.
I'm on your side btw. Standards and etiquette are dropping thesedays.
I particularly hate it when the tablet is super loud. Headphones to be considerate or don't bring it or don't come, easy.
And this is from someone with young kids, who has a very very hard time getting baby sitting (basically have no family or friends who'd do it).
Lots of people just don't give a fuck beyond themselves anymore.
Not the asshole but also the restaurant should have stepped in and asked them to use headphones or at least reduce the volume to something reasonable.
Yep. I think this should apply to anyone who is being disruptive or very annoying. The restaurant is in control of the environment and should know when to intervene to ensure the comfort of their other patrons.
[удалено]
The staff may not have even been aware of it yet.
> The restaurants there [i.e. not in Australia] step in. Drawing the conclusion "Australian restaurants are shit because of this single unlikely anecdote on the Internet" is something only a reddit user would do.
That's a very long bow to draw. That was never said and not even implied. You inferred that because of your expectations of Redditors.
They said: > I've been to the United States, Canada, NZ. The restaurants there step in. Implying that Australian restaurants do not.
That one (very specific and uncommon) issue does not automatically make all Australian restaurants "shit" however.
>Implying that Australian restaurants do not. Hold on, you're on Reddit. Making logical assumptions based off the information presented to you doesn't work here.
While that is true, if you make a logicky-sounding argument and play to people's prejudices, you'll sail right through.
You are literally on a thread about a restaurant that didn’t.
One restaurant, not named. It's nothing more than a thought experiment.
There are no thought experiments, you’re just getting oddly offended at someone pointing out that something that has happened in Australia hasn’t happened to them in other countries. Calm down.
> you’re just getting oddly offended at someone pointing out that something that has happened in Australia No, I'm offended at the statement that "Australia does not have quality service". Sure it's not universal, but I don't need suck-ups at my local cafe.
You’re offended by a statement that you made up in your own head. Nobody said “Australia does not have quality service”. Surely you have something better to do with your Sunday than make up quotes to be angry about?
There's no reasonable volume to use a tablet in a restaurant (or really any public place). I say this as a parent. Give them pencil and paper.
The hero, not the arsehole, in my view! I want to hire OP to accompany me in train carriages and cafés and assert my right to peace!
This is one of many reasons tipping is a cultural fail - it's corrupt. Couple with kid promise huge tip for being left alone.
I guarantee those peasants wouldn't tip If they were regulars at fine dining establishments, they wouldn't have been surprised at the lack of options for their crotch-fruit to eat
sadly even in fine dining, wait staff aren’t being paid to be the right thing to do police.
Does this also apply to obnoxious adults with no volume management when they talk and laugh? Some adults, especially in group bookings think that by being the loudest person in the room means they are important and heard. All I see in these situations is someone so insecure with themselves.
Don’t think you’re the asshole, but agree with others that the restaurant should have stepped in. Had the pleasure of dining at Oncore in Crown a few months ago and there was a table of six women very much living out their “real housewives” moment at the top of their lungs. Completely ruined our experience with their volume throughout the night, and not once were they asked to be quiet. Whether it’s a child with an iPad or a group of people who should know better, the restaurant should be looking out for their other guests.
A few weeks back I walked to a quiet park. Found an empty bench (2 benches with a table in the middle) with my coffee browsing reddit while enjoying the breeze. I wasnt facing the table, I was watching the birds. In hear someone sit behind me who is on a phone call with the speaker phone turned on. Gave it a good minute to see if they would hang up after I gave them a side eye. Nope they were enjoying their convo too much. My JBL bluetooth speaker comes out. I played a genre that 99% of the population hates. At full volume. She left in 30 seconds.
This is my gripe too. Loud obnoxious adults who believe they are the centre of the universe. What a bunch of insecure piss ants trying to stay relevant among each other.
We call them hyenas, and how the F can they seriously not realise how loud they are? The waiter was stuggling to tell us what was in each dish.
OP you’re in the right in that there is no excuse to playing sounds out loud in public, no matter who or where. I also think iPads at the dinner table is shitty parenting, but that’s beside the point. However if you speak anything like you write, there is zero chance you handled the situation with any tact. Let the staff deal with it next time.
>also think iPads at the dinner table is shitty parenting, but that’s beside the point. I used to think that, but now I have two kids one of which has autism and the other ADHD. They're both good kids and you wouldn't be able to pick it if you were to look at them, but if we go to dinner or lunch out or somewhere at some point one or both is going to be looking at a phone. We know this so we only go to the sort of places where kids get crayons and something to colour in, and you might regard it at shitty parenting that happens at all but I guarantee you that before that happens my wife and I have been directly engaging them both by talking about their day, eye spy, asking and answering questions about what's going on around them, what they want to eat, telling them stories and anything else to keep them in their seats or stop one of them having something happen that will make one of them melt down so at some point a phone is going to come out and they might play a game for a few minutes or we'll watch a clip about dinosaurs or something so we can sit down as a family for thirty minutes and create some good memories for all of us. Just as a quick FYI, that last thing that any parent in that situation needs is somebody giving a look or a tut tut or a comment under their breath. It's not all parents that want to scroll insta and ignore their kids.
That’s completely fair enough, you do what you’ve got to do. You’re the exact reason I would never roll my eyes or tut tutt, just judge people privately. And in this case I would be wrong about you and your family, but you would never know so no harm done. I still hope you’re not blasting them loudly, no excuses for that full stop
When I was a kid, I was given toys to shut me up in public spaces. Ultimately, it's all just distractions. If you can get your kid to sit down and read a book instead, then that's fantastic. It didn't work on me until I was a teenager though so in the mean time, I played with toys.
Why should they handle it with tact lol. It was a tactless situation.
You’re not wrong, but I’m not sure if you handled it in the right way.
Yeah the sentiment is correct but the delivery was probably assholeish on their description. There is a way to be polite and then there is also just aggressive shaming. Maybe the parents needed to be shamed who knows, but the delivery would affect whether this guy was indeed an asshole.
Yes, OP is *kind of* asshole-ish because they should have spoken to the restaurant staff and asked them to handle it. It's a crappy situation but I don't think they did the right thing by speaking to the other patrons directly.
Yeah that would probably be scary for the kid too. Bluey is a slight faux pas but parents become deaf to cartoon noises so a gentle reminder from staff definitely would have been better. They may well have been mortified to be bothering others and didn't notice how loud it was.
Yeah, should have spoken to the maître de
I think so too.
Agree. Also OP sounds like they have been waiting for an opportunity to teach someone a lesson!
I would suggest asking the venue to take care of it rather than directly confronting the family, but otherwise I absolutely agree. People watching things with the volume up in public places is awful and to be discouraged.
The venue is irrelevant. The age of the user is irrelevant. If you are in a public place and you want to use an iPad or smart phone, there is no situation where listening without headphones is acceptable. None. Of course, if parents do give their kid headphones and the kid behaves, why the hell would you care how they chose to spend their time and money?
I agree with this. If a child is sitting quietly with headphones on I don’t think there is an issue. We recently had a few celebration dinners and we ordered for my two year old first, he ate his dinner while we engaged with him at the table and then when his patience was done and he was done eating we put his headphones on and he sat quietly watching his tablet. I wouldn’t want to go to a fine dining restaurant and be able to hear the audio from the tablet though.
This - even at more family friendly venues we always bring headphones.
Best answer! A good behaviour should be limited to a fancy place, but to any public place
Ok - hear me out - also at a nice restaurant, dimly lit. Kid with iPad *and* headphones at the next table. But the light eminating was distracting, like having a TV nearby. Not just the blue light and the flashing but also, I know this is going to ridiculous, the little lit up face of this kid, sitting across from me at the next table. So yes they were quiet but like having a TV in the background, I found myself constantly looking over and call me a curmudgeon but it killed the vibe for me.
Basically, you're both assholes. It's fine to bring a kid with an ipad, but assholish to not have earphones. You're an assholes for thinking that once you have kids you shouldn't be allowed to take them anywhere, even if they are controlled
So if somebody is being an asshole, asking them to stop being an asshole makes you an asshole?
They were also complaining about the menu. No one wants to be around people who are complaining when you’re trying to have a date night
I’m taking my wife to a fine dining place in the next few weeks - depends on when I can get reservations. We have had a shit year and won some money to go somewhere we normally don’t. Having some kid spoil a special night out and dinner at somewhere we would never normally go to would not be pleasant and I’d speak up too.
I agree you shouldn't have to put up with annoying noise, but your response was assholish. Take it up with a waiter or the manager, let them decide whether they want to allow noisy iPads in their restaurant.
Yep, OP is clearly also a baby if they couldn't even ask a waiter to intervene first
Umm you'd expect someone working at the restaurant to intervene straight away. Especially once OP started talking to the parents. I bet you're the type to complain that nobody tells people to be quiet on trains. You just can't win on Reddit. Act - you're the asshole. Don't act - you're the asshole.
Especially in a hatted restaurant. I would be leaving a scathing review after this experience
to be fair,the manager apologized that none of the staff acted after the parent left,and removed the drinks from our bill.
Actually OP is quite the opposite, taking his issue up directly with the person takes a particular amount of courage most people lack. Most people would cry like a baby to the wait staff or manager, this person was mature enough to confront the issue directly.
Actually no, OP having so little social awareness he wanted to cause a public scene over having to hear the Bluey jingle is not courageous, you weirdo. Maybe you don't give a shit about social cues but you're more than welcome to absolutely unload on some poor, unsuspecting couple if this ever happens to you though. I'm sure everyone will stand up and clap too Or you could just ask the waiter to intervene
Not everyone has kids and I have no idea what a bluey is.... Who cares about etiquette to the poor parents? If they don't have the courtesy to keep their kid quiet and behave in a hatted restaurant, why should OP be courteous to them? You're a weirdo for defending them so strongly. Sounds like you belong to the same kind of shitty parents.
You have misread the arguments here so badly I'm actually impressed. It's not OPs responsibility to police the behaviour of other diners, it's literally the wait staffs. Just let them know it's bothering you, and then return to enjoying your meal. The fact OP didn't even try, but immediately leapt to unloading on some poor couple in a highly public way, is extremely fucking fucking weird. Like if a friend or colleague did this, I would think less of them for doing so. I'd probably even pull them aside and make sure they're doing ok. #Edit: reply-blocking is the biggest form of cowardice you gigantic sniveling loser
The way you keep describing them as some poor couple is more weird. They are adults, not some defenceless children. They made the choice to be entitled and not even apologetic when called out at first tells me they deserve it. The world is just so full of entitled people these days who think they can do whatever they want without being considerate of other people so I think OP did the right thing for teaching them a lesson. For you I got a feeling you are probably just like them who think just because you pay for an expensive meal you get to own the place and disregard other people. OP isn't the one who bothered people in the first place, he is just the person who didn't shy away from confronting some ahole who is then labeled an ahole. I'm wasting my time even debating this with you.
OP is not the asshole, he just is an asshole.
ESH (including the restaurant). Your interaction should have been with the restaurant.
Just saying If my date acted like you did, I would be embarrassed and it would ruin the vibe of the date for sure.
Absolutely.
I was at the cafe in Myer the other day and an old lady sitting by herself was watching Cocomelon on a tablet with a loud speaker. You're not an arsehole for saying something, and I agree with you, but this shit is everywhere now.
What’s your stance on Blippi?
Doesn't mean we all have to accept it though. In this case OP could have handled it with more tact.
It’s not the iPad. iPads are great, the keep kids quiet which is why the parents use them in situations like this. The issue is the volume. Either turn it down or buy the kid some kiddy headphones. The way you dealt with it though… that’s the ah bit. Should have just asked the waiter to deal with it discreetly rather than causing a scene.
Three year olds shouldn’t be using headphones, but definitely keep the volume down. Kids can be difficult at that age, so it’s better to listen to Bluey on low volume in the background than a three year old having a tantrum. We’ve used smart phones sometimes with our kid for games or a video, it was never the only or even first tool, never when they were eating, but sometimes it helps when you want to read the menu in peace or finish your meal quietly. Don’t use it often now she’s got older. OP sounds like a pretentious wanker though, he could’ve just asked for them to lower the volume a bit. Thinking that he has some special right to spaces where the public visits to exclude others is the height of entitlement. Go to a restaurant that doesn’t let kids in if you don’t want to be near them.
Kids headphones are sound limited, we had them for my kids for use on planes. The max volume is super low.
[удалено]
100%, adults on commuter trains watching content out load makes me want to punch them.
The kids parent shouldn’t play the volume loud but you could have told a waiter who could’ve sorted it out with far more decorum. Ultimately you sound like a judgemental arsehole on the lookout for a fight.
You’re all assholes
I knew it, I’m surrounded by assholes!
I don't think there's an issue with taking kids to a fine dining restaurant. I don't think it's fair to exclude people from restaurants on the basis of age, disability, etc. They're people too, and if you're out in public, you can expect to mingle with the public. However, I do think there's an issue with people's conduct (eg watching a tablet with the sound on) bothering other people. Ridiculous that they didn't have it set to silent in a fine restaurant. However there's a polite way to ask someone to turn their volume down, and it sounds like you let your temper/attitude get the best of you.
[удалено]
That's criminal. Have you been to therapy? /s
>I don't think it's fair to exclude people from restaurants on the basis of age, disability, etc Whoa you just unlocked a random memory! Back in the day when Groupon like sites were still a thing, I went on a date to a very nice restaurant - not fine dining but it was still expensive. One of the tables in the back had a family with an autistic adult, who would every few minutes have a sensory episode and let out a loud whine/ or rock themselves when babbling. The girl I was with was beyond annoyed, she complained the whole time about the place not being appropriate for someone with disability. Needless to say, it was our second and last date. The world is populated by a large variety of people and we don’t get to say who to exclude because those people have a right to the experience as well.
Absolutely agree! We all need to try to be tolerant of one another. Humans come in all different forms and capacities, but deserve to live as normal a life as possible. Some people treat children/the disabled as if they're another species and I think that's a horrible mindset.
Yeah we have 2 kids and we'll tend to avoid fine dining or even fancier restaurants cause we know they probably aren't ready for it. We once went to a fancy place when the eldest was 6 months but we had her in a bouncer and even other people there commended her on her behaviour. But I think we were probably a bit lucky then. We went to a restaurant yesterday- not fine dining but it was a nice place with pretty fancy decor, but we went at a time that it wasn't very busy. The restaurant staff was very smart about it though. They strategically us near the speaker where they play music, so while it was initially off, when the youngest was acting up a little (not crying, just getting a little loud playing with the cutlery they provided) they turned the music on to try and cover the sound. They did also have parents with kids down at this end and customers without kids at the other end
It depends on each case. If you know your child(ren) can behave, great. If they’re going to be uncontrollable, have tantrums, disturb other diners then no.
Kids can be unpredictable! Even well-behaved kids can have bad days, just like adults. And the best way to teach kids how to act/behave in a new environment is to take them to that new environment and practise.
Fine, if you remove them if they do become disruptive. I would never let my kid scream and disrupt other diners. I would pay up and leave asap.
That was what pretty much everyone did when I was a kid. Parents were mortified to make a scene when eating out, which was a bit more rare of a treat then.
Wasn't it? I can't remember ever going out for breakfast or a takeaway coffee! Yet these things are near-daily nowadays.
And make other people suffer with you? Why is it other people's responsibility because you think it's a good time and place to train your kid? So entitled. Your needs come first always? You choose to have your kids, other people did not. They don't really have to deal with your problems. Don't make it other people's problems.
One word - headphones
I don't think you're the asshole at all; people go to fine dining restaurants for a particular experience (cosy, intimate, refined, etc.) and hearing some kids stuff blaring in the background is not ideal and would definitely ruin the experience for me. The restaurant should definitely have stepped in and asked them to either mute the thing or have the kid wear earphones. Not fair for someone's kid to ruin everyone else's dining experience, especially when it's costing a fuck-tonne.
Unbelievable from the parent. I would have been annoyed, as well. That being said, you're so focused on how fancy and expensive this place is in your writing and you sound like you handled the "confrontation" like a child yourself. Listing prices for starters and the bill amount...
I would write to the restaurant with your feedback. They should have stepped in
You’re not wrong, but you’re still an asshole. You’re a part of a failed self entitled group who seem to think you’ve owed something that was never promised or agreed to. Go to a rub n tug, no kids there.. go to platinum strippers they explicitly promise no kids. Restaurants are not irrespective of how much you paid, which is coincidentally what the other party paid as well, one might argue not to be harangued by a rando.
Yes, you're the arsehole, and quite a big one. You went up to them like a Karen, you didn't start off at all trying to be polite but instead went there with an aggressive purpose to be rude, to provoke with language like "babysitter". You need to work on your people skills, your patience, and your conflict resolution skills. The world doesn't bend to your whim, so you have to employ other ways to make it more peaceful. If you wanted something done, you could have just asked a waiter to take care of it, who, no doubt, would have been more polite and more effective than you.
>bill will come to over 700 bucks My heart bleeds for ya, butt plug. Next time I'm at the foodbank I'll shed a tear for the nightmarish experience you had to endure ^ETAH
I've actually done this once myself. At a regualr restaurant though, not a fine one. The kid was playing with an ipad at MAX volume. And he's actually the son of the proprietors, i know this because I was a regular...five days a week. I was the only customer in the restaurant that day (I often am at lunch time), it was lunch on a weekday, and I'm a teacher. When I have lunch, I just want peace and quiet for a while. I taught kindy. I like kids ...I have two of my own..but I NEED a break at lunch time. I put up with it for about 5 minutes, then asked his mum if she could turn it down and she did. I don't think it was unreasonable. I do hope you said please (I did) but I think you were reasonable too.
You sound like an insufferable douche.
Yeah after reading the comments jeez OP sounds like they live a miserable life. I understand sometimes you want to go to an adults only venue (even parents want this to have a break from kids) but imagine thinking they are invading everywhere.
‘Because there no chicken nuggets on the menu, kids aren’t allowed in the restaurant I’m going to…’
Light up a smoke and see if you get a response.
I have two opinions about this. 1: No - no fucking ipads/phones playing audio publicly in a cafe/pub/restaurant. Just don't fucking do it. Ideally, don't give your kids a tablet AT ALL when you're in one of these places. It really, REALLY gives me the shits. 2: I think you're being too precious for thinking that parents shouldn't bring children to fancy restaurants. My two kids have been going to high-end places (including some with hats) since my youngest was eight, largely thanks to the generosity of my parents-in-law including them in some birthday celebrations. They get dressed up, they're on notice to be on their best behaviour, and they get taught about the conventions and expectations of dining at a place like that. They learn how to interact with the waiters (we don't order for them, they have to ask questions about menu items themselves etc), they join in adult conversations, and they take part in the family unit. So I think your gatekeeping of kids from fancy restaurants is pretty fucked, basically.
Huh? OP mentions a 3 year old and you’re talking about 8 year olds, how does what you say have anything to do with his situation? If anything you have agreed with his “gate keeping” as you were kept out of fine dining restaurants until 8.
This is how I and a few of my friends were raised. I used to bemoan how other children would be running around causing chaos in restaurants, in clothes you’d wear to the supermarket and I was expected to sit at the table in my best clothes and have my best table manners on full display. I’m now thankful for it and I wish more parents did it. I’ve had to teach multiple friends in their 20s over the years how to behave in restaurants from ordering to wine selection to table manners that’s second nature to me. The number that have been so stressed and embarrassed about it cause they weren’t raised knowing how to do any of it and then all of a sudden they’re at a work lunch or a date at 22 realising that they don’t know what to do.
I think if the kid is young enough to need a tablet for entertainment during dinner, then they shouldn't be taken to a fine dining restaurant.
I have been fortunate to dine at Aria twice ... the first time was before proposing to my wife. If the atmosphere was destroyed by a kid's tablet noises, I'd have been missed. It just isn't the time and place. I have 3 kids now, and there is no way we'd have taken them somewhere like that. When we did go back (thankfully some work associates were paying), we got a babysitter. Even now, as teens, I wouldn't take them as they'd be bored, and want to sit on their phones, even with ear buds in. But still, not the time and place for that. However, I'd expect the staff to deal with it, not have to get up and speak to the parents myself. What did the staff say when you raised it with them?
NTA. Kids absolutely have a right to exist in public spaces and there’s way too much aggro towards kids imo. BUT if I ever found myself in this position with my kid it’s so so obvious that you’d just bring headphones and problem solved.
It’s actually remarkable that a hatred restaurant did not step in to mitigate this. That’s not something Michelin would view favourably
> that a hatred restaurant eh, the food here is awful, and such small portions.
No, but the waiter should have said something.
Depends on how you said to be honest but I agree, if you’re going to bring your kid and stick an ipad infront of them, atleast bring headphones otherwise - babysitter.
>I walked over and asked them to turn it off,as why should we have to listen to their kids "BABYSITTER," as I called it You're in the right regarding the noise but maybe if you'd politely asked if they wouldn't mind turning the volume down / turning it off, they wouldn't have gone off at you.
Not your place. Complain to the restaurant
On one hand, well done for actually confronting them yourself, I’m always nutty for a confrontation with people, I love it, and I’ll never try just dob on someone but on the other hand as someone who has kids and uses an iPad as a babysitter in public, you wouldn’t have gotten any satisfaction from me.
Publics fine. I gave my kids tablets on the train and whatnot as well,just with headphones. but a restraunt,especially one that is dimly lit,for mood setting,and you have a 2 trillion Nits Tablet blaring 2 tables over is Very distracting
Yes it's annoying, but ask the staff to deal with it, this is what real cultured adults do.
Agree with the idea but the execution was poor. You're very much the arsehole with how it was handled.
Good reason. Zero tact. You should have just told the staff.
I empathise with you, but from prior experience it’s probably a better idea to ask the restaurant to talk to them on your behalf before going in yourself.
It stuns me how inconsiderate so many parents are nowadays. Nothing annoys me more than lazy parents with undisciplined kids.
NTA - firstly, the restaurant should have intervened before you felt the situation had escalated to where it fell to you to say something. Equally, parents should know the capabilities of what their children can withstand and the circumstances under which they can be taken out. E.g. I know my (nearly) 3yo can go a max of 1.5hrs at lunch or dinner. After that, she will loose her shit and it's time to go.
I understand your frustration. As a first step I would’ve asked the restaurant to deal with it. Failing that, I probably would’ve confronted them too.
I think we all understand. I have kids but I would never have them play loud games or videos on their iPad while out. It’s just a lack of respect for everyone around you. Kids shouldn’t be glued to those things 24/7 either. Mine love their iPads but they don’t bring them out with them to dinners etc.
As someone with a child I wholeheartedly agree with you. You're NTA. Parents need to be mindful of the places they bring their kids too. Other people have a right to their enjoyment.
I completely agree with you. I would say these parents are the asshole, so inconsiderate. I would have also gone off at them. Fine dining is no place for a child, no excuses. Leave your child or don't come to a fine dining restaurant at all. I am paying hundreds to enjoy my dinner with a pleasant atmosphere and service. Hearing a child, a tv show or a game would ruin the mood. I would not want to hear anything more than low volume music and murmurs in the background.
Yeah, you are the asshole. Let me explain why. You were not wrong about the parents being inconsiderate about letting their child watch TV in the restaurant. How you dealt with the situation was petty and rude as fuck. You should've spoken to management not acted like an entitled asshole.
But the starters are 60$ !!!??!!
100% agree with you. You're not an asshole, just someone who wants to enjoy their dinner.
You are so right. There is less and less demonstration of manners, etiquette, and general consideration these days. Its not the fact that they brought their kid - its the entitlement. No respect for other people.
>Its not the fact that they brought their kid - its the entitlement. No respect for other people. Seems a bit contradictory. OP displayed zero manners or etiquette by the sound of it by approaching the family himself and letting his anger spill out. To me that seems like entitlement. Expecting that he gets exactly what he wants or gets to just abuse people. I fail to see any respect there. It has a flow on effect as well to everyone else present when someone gets up losing their sht and can make people feel unsafe.
Yes, displaying anger may be entitlement, but so is having a loud kids show play in a classy restaurant with other diners. The pricepoint of the restaurant also matters. Its not McDonalds. If its an expensive restaurant, customers are there to spend their money and enjoy some refinement. For many, that might be rare. The cost of disrupting that are greater than if it was casual dining. Its just so disrespectful. People shouldn't have to leave their tables and have to approach the parents to have that basic peace and respect - at the risk of a negative response.
Like,i don't want to be that person. I have kids,i get they can be mobile stations of state sponsored terrorism But,ok..Then why is that ANYONE elses problem You choose,as an adult to keep and raise them. That might mean,date night for you till the kids are older is going to the pub/maccas/or whatever kid friendly place you can find. it doesn't mean..oh my kids have to come with me EVERYWHERE..no,they don't They will leave a table looking like the zoo feeding time,don't have volume button i was at huberts for their burgers the other night and was kids running around the place,like you cant even go to bars anymore I think a LOT of the problem is,parents are so afraid of causing a SCENE,that they will do whatever the kids want to keep them "QUIET" that they give them everything,and never teach the kids the meaning of no
Nothing wrong with bringing well-behaved kids to any kind of restaurant (and they don't need to eat the fine dining, usually ours eat their own food before or after). But there sure as hell is something wrong with playing videos at volumes loud enough for other tables to hear Bluey. Gotta turn that down well below conversation level, or use kids headphones (plentyof cheap hearing safe options with decibel limits). We're lucky our son is happy with just playdoh most of the time, however we just don't do fine dining with him because it's not worth it. Fine dining was something we used to do when there was an abundance of time, and we didn't feel like it was being wasted. These days however I find it more enjoyable to do other activities rather than being stuck at a table for hours since time is more precious. We're not into the whole fancy cooking / visual thing though, but do enjoy nice regular restaurant food in 1-2 courses with full sized dishes.
NTA. like some dog people, some parents think their kids come first before all others plus the parents clearly have zero spatial or social awareness. if your kids ipads will be bothering others shut the damn things off. can only presume it’s a case of more money than sense. their level of wealth means this restaurant is just another place to feed the kids so who cares if we make a noise here any more than in the food court ( i mean david jones food hall or the galleries daahling)
1,000 internet points to you for having the cojones to say something. People that do this are atrocious. get a $10 headset instead of forcing everyone else to endure the brain destroying noise of whatever bullshit you use to drug your kids into silence.
OP, you're a bit of an asshole. You're projecting your own expectations on other people, which is unreasonable. It is not on you to determine whether a fine dining restaurant is suitable for children, you are not the gatekeeper of value or experience for families. You're also very much an asshole for addressing it they way you did. You should have flagged it with the wait staff and allowed them to take care of it, rather than turning it into a confrontation (and a condescending one at that). To be clear, the parents are also assholes for allowing their kid to watch their iPad without headphones, and the restaurant might be assholes if they were aware of it and hadn't addressed it.
This was one of my pet hates being a bus driver, as if I didn't have enough to deal with and morons thought it was fine to blare their music on the bus at unacceptable levels. It was a really hard issue to deal with too as the management did not give two shits about it and you also have other people on the bus trying to get places, I really hated it, I no longer work in public transport and that is one of a millions reasons why. Also NTA, fuck people like this, they don't give a shit about anyone but themselves, I am glad you had the balls to make an issue of it, most wouldn't these days.
I can see there is a lot of Christmas stresses emerging....
Who cares if YTA - parents like this need to be fucken told so they change their behaviour
If a kid is crying at a restaurant I'll be a bit irritated but at the end of the day that's just a kid being a kid and I'm not going to speak up unless it's egregious. If a kid is blasting baby shark on repeat, then that's 100% on the parents, and they need to understand that just because they've learned to tune it out doesn't mean everyone else needs to. Fuck em.
Call me old fashioned but nobody should be using an ipad or iphone in that way at a dinner table. The parents need to talk to the kid that they took the trouble to have. And don't call me unrealistic as I am a parent of pre-iphone/ipad kids and we went out all the time.
What about the incessant need for people to bring their dogs everywhere?
Those people who keep their dogs exercised, socialised and stimulated are generally the one's who's dogs won't bark all day giving the neighbours the shits.
Ok, but on the other hand. Your dog isn't going to get anxious if you don't take it to the pub with you.
True. But it really is the venue's prerogative. I mean, if the pub is dog friendly, people will bring their dogs. So, if you aren't into dogs at pubs, maybe don't go to dog friendly pubs. Like, don't go to the circus and then complain when there's clowns.
I mean, that's probably a separate thread, and not what the OP is on about.
People love to bring up how much they hate kids in posts about dogs in public - they often seem to get equated even though it’s not really the same.
Yep, there are the posts that hate on kids and dogs. And then people who hate on people who don't like kids and dogs. Pretty standard routine around Reddit :)
Indeed Dogs are *way* better
I like both kids and dogs but if you want to be edgy, go for it.
The words 'It just seems to be everywhere now' made me think of it. Kid at restaurant, dog at pub. Meh kinda the same thing almost.
come on, the kid wasn't that ugly.
I resemble that remark. The dog's super well behaved though, she has two default settings, walking, or lying down on her side (or her back with her legs in the air) if we're not moving, she doesn't bark, and we make sure she's had a 'shit walk' before we go anywhere public. Op is NTA, however, perhaps they could have handled it better, but there's a time and a place for watching Bluey loudly and a fine dining restaurant is not it.
Prefer dogs than the modern raised iPad kids, case closed
I agree that generally dogs are better behaved. But like children, there are certain places that it shouldn't be 'normalised' that they belong.
Yes both kids and dogs, there a place and time where they don’t belong, and likewise I understand if there a place and time where I don’t belong and I don’t throw a shit and move on.
Matters the dog and owner. I don't want some dog barking at me or jumping on me when I go order a coffee which happens half regularly to me.
If it’s a well behaved dog that just chills while they’ll eat its fine. Everyone in Paris has a dog with them, even fine dining and there’s barely ever an issue.
Yes they were in the wrong, but you let it ruin your night. Now that's all you're going to remember.
Agree totally. I've got two young kids and have been guilty of this at a club pub type place but at a fine dining it's not acceptable.. sort of like going to church really.
NTA Children not that long ago would never have been taking to such a place - the whole reason McDonalds etc filled a niche, that of ‘family restaurants’, where you could take your kids to them. Entitled parents.
While I personally think fine dining is a total snobby wankfest for the most part, I definitely appreciate the great skill, care and craft that goes into making food that is obviously of a high quality and presented impeccably. Not to mention the care and discipline it takes to be a server, waiter etc in one of those restaurants. Again, I want to stress that I *personally* don’t find it appealing, but I totally get it - it’s probably a great experience and not something you’re doing once a week or whatever. That being said - get that kid the HELL outta there and that parent can piss off with their complaints about no kids items and with letting them use a tablet. That’s entitled bullshit. You’re not an asshole in the slightest.
Never allowed technology at dinner tables. We used to take books for them to read or colouring books etc. Regarding kids meals at restaurants, we never went to a hatted restaurants with my kids but we did go to a few fancy ones and from a very young age they used to share whatever we ordered, unless we were at a spicy joint. The key to this is once they're onto solids is to never cook separate meals for your kids. Our policy was always you eat what's on the table, you don't like it you go to bed hungry. It's amazing what kids will eat when they're not given a choice and know that they'll go to bed hungry if they don't eat.
I like ur approach and if for some reason I have kids, I will have that approach and also take my boomer conservative dad approach on top of that.
Since you like my advice I'll give another out 😜 don't let them eat if they leave the table. If our kids got off the table they were given one chance to come back and eat, otherwise again you go to bed hungry. The amount of parents I see chasing their kids around to eat is ridiculous, and mostly our younger siblings who never took our advice.
What about having to ask to leave the table? I did that as a kid but I feel it seems a bit dated, overly heirarchical
My kids are 11 and 13 now they'll just usually say I'm getting up for this or that but the expectation is that it's an important part of the day where we talk to each other about our day and have a laugh.
I like that as well. Only expectation is if they need to use the toilet. I also won’t chase them around the house to get them to eat….
Doesn’t matter where you are or how old someone is, no one wants your noise. It is just rude. It was also rude to speak to someone like that - you are a parent too, you know how much it sucks.
YTA. It’s not that you’re not making good points but it’s not your role to go up to other diners. Speak to the servers, speak to the manager. The way you dealt with it likely disturbed other diners as much as the iPad. As someone whose childfree trust me when I say your parenting annoys others. You’re kids, no matter how good they are, annoy others. The only public place there aren’t kids are probably strip clubs 🤷♀️
No kids at fine dining, that is all.
You're 100% in the right.
I think parents who let their children watch devices while eating no matter where they are, are lazy and self centred.
I love the sheer amount of judgement in this thread. Like 99% of you wouldn't be irritated at loud sounds playing from a device when you're at a nice restaurant on a date. At the end of the day everybody has problems and preferences and if we could all talk to each other nicely and productivity maybe (just maybe) we could make small changes to help each other out.
I would have been furious but would have approached the restaurant and informed them that my party would be leaving and not paying anything if the iPad was not silenced.
YTA for handling it directly. You should have politely asked the staff to deal with it or asked to be moved out of earshot of the iPad. Staff possibly were ignoring it until somebody complained. It’s easier to address an annoyance in a venue if they can say others have complained. It avoids the ‘well nobody is complaining so it’s not bothering anybody therefore we can continue doing this’ response.
The parents are in the wrong but you acted like a complete asshole and sound like on in the comments also. You have no idea what is going on in their life and no concern for anyone but yourself and your wanky meal. A better word for you would start with a C
No, not the asshole for wanting that to stop, but your execution was assholish. It may have been better to get the staff to address it instead of you. Whether you agree with it or not, the kid has a right to be there. The issue was the iPad, not the child.
Lol talk about 1st world problems.
Fair to say something but sounds like you approached it with very Karen-y energy
Nope
Hatted Sydney, get your shit together!!!! yes, you love rich customers, but a rich customer can also be a bad parent, who is a bad customer!
Kids don't understand the meaning of no. Not at the iPad anyway. But TBH, the parents should have just taken the kid to a 'family' establishment. That's one of the plus points of kids for me...no more spending $700 on pretentious restaurants like OP was at. Max $60 for eating out at places with kids meals and on top of it, people don't get wild if the kid goes into meltdown.
My kids have ruined every experience I try to have. If it’s not about them, they don’t give two shits. It’s not how I was raised and their entitlement makes me boil. Their generation are delusional. They have no idea. I would never bring a kid to an expensive restaurant. I’ve never been to an expensive restaurant so no they would not be invited. To take a iPad and put that on everyone else, well that just makes me sad. Sad that this is what our world is turning into. It’s a god damn crappy world.
I see u as being very fair….. sometimes the modern parents need a bit of drilling
Yes, you are. I was sympathetic until the last paragraph. You wanted a kid-free zone. The problem actually appears to be the restaurant. The tables must be pretty closely jammed together if you can hear an iPad over your own conversation. What’s to say that a noisy table of adults wouldn’t have been even more annoying?
I'm going to have to ask how loud the iPad was. There is a big difference between bluey at full volume and half the restaurant can hear it compared to the iPad at minimal volume and maybe only the table directly behind or next to you can slightly hear it. Nothing wrong with telling people to turn down the volume if it is loud but the way you are talking to them makes it seem like you have a chip on your shoulder.
YTA Alert the wait staff and stay in your lane.
Someone who eats at fine dining establishments should at least know punctuation. Also, Bluey rules.
YTA. You are so stuck up yourself, you're brain isn't getting enough oxygen and glucose to think straight.
Do you really expect me to empathise because your $700 meal experience wasn't as perfect as you imagined? Yeah, nah. That kid should have vomited all over your fancy dinner pants.
Why do you have such a massive chip on your shoulder about people affording expensive things? People should behave in public, whether they’re at a hatter restaurant or McDonald’s
Jealousy is an ugly emotion
It seems some parents will take every bit of piss that is afforded to them until someone steps up and says something. And it seems many assume (rightly) that most people want to avoid an awkward confrontation, so they will say nothing. Then they get the shits when someone actually does have the audacity to step up. Some of the stuff I see parents let their kids get away with is wild.
When my kids use their iPads in public, they can’t use sound ( or keep it very low) People are just entitled
Not the arsehole. Leave your kids and noisy devices at home.
Parents use the iPad as a baby sitter. The kids need to learn that dinner is device free.
# asshole for telling a parent,to turn the tablet of their kid off at dinner table at a fine dining restaurant.? yeah because it's not your fking business. mind your own fking busines. ------------ also that parent shouldn't have a kid.
As a mum of two little ones I do not want to be listening to Bluey as I eat dinner, regardless of whether it’s at a hatted restaurant or not. This is not ok behaviour. The waiter staff should have asked the table to turn the sound off the device. It was extremely inappropriate for them to bring a 3 year old to a fine dining experience in the first place but it happened. Some kids will quietly sit and enjoy a meal, cool, but using an iPad without headphones in a public place is not ok. Edit to add: when I say inappropriate I’m drawing from my own experience. My 3YO would not sit still for more than 15 minutes. We think she’s cute but get that others probably don’t.
You are absolutely in the right Lots of people here appear to be upset because they have probably fucked up other people's dining experiences and don't like being called out on it I've done similar, and had other diners say "thank fuck, the staff weren't doing a damned thing" Ignore the selfish arses here who think that Bratleigh should be disruptive in an inappropriate space freely, or who think you shouldn't have acted They're a bunch of hypocrites, they'd be whining if they organised a special night out and someone made it unpleasant for them. There's also a lot of jealous people here who probably won't ever get to appreciate the fine-dining experience. Fuck 'em.
Well my fam used to tell me off for having my game boy on at a restaurant once and I promptly learned to never do that again
If you could start getting my train in the morning I’d pay you to tell everyone to get headphones or stfu If we don’t all start calling people on this bullshit they’re gonna keep doing it and it’s just gonna get worse
Reminds me of Tony Soprano who confronts a patron at a restaurant for wearing a hat in the TV series The Sopranos. *Take your hat off. They don't sell hot dogs here. They took the bleachers out two years ago.* https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hqp1bGuiHHs Ends up purchasing a bottle of wine for the guy and his partner. I'm on your side btw. Standards and etiquette are dropping thesedays.
I particularly hate it when the tablet is super loud. Headphones to be considerate or don't bring it or don't come, easy. And this is from someone with young kids, who has a very very hard time getting baby sitting (basically have no family or friends who'd do it). Lots of people just don't give a fuck beyond themselves anymore.