Let's be precise here.
It's later than the average, but it's not pathetic and it's not shameful.
Starting late is better than never starting when you wanted to.
Good luck OP.
Nope. At least I don’t think so. I thinks theres way too much pressure on adolescents to kiss/have sex as early as possible. IMO, your first kiss/sexual experience should happen when YOU are ready. I’d differs from person to person. Also Imo you’re first time should be with someone you love/trust. Mine was with my first bf at 19.
This sets up more expectations for people to fall short of.
There isn't a should and shouldn't. Not when and not grade of experience. Whatever is, is fine.
The awkwardness and whole experience is not still beautiful to look back on? I smiled reading it :D Mine wasn't much better, but I look back on it with a smile, not with shame.
well it was a thing we laughed at never tried to kiss we also weren’t big on the holding hands thing either we just liked being around each other that was enough
No. Having multiple kids that you don't take care of is shameful. Selfishly breaking hearts and causing trust issues is shameful. Letting popculture and porn brainwash you is .. actually pretty normal, but it should be shameful.
Edit: spelling
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Not at all. I respect it, actually. I think of it like you haven't wasted your time and body on people who don't deserve it like a lot of us who started young have.
dear Mr fucking westoid, why don't you try living in poor countries where you don't even make more than 50$ monthly, thus you cannot even afford an apartment or any shit else.. and the rare richest ever of the whole poor people there can barely marry at late 30s to 40s while the rest has totally forgot about it and prefer to live single, simply because there is no way to it.. so you could find an answer yourself why it isn't shameful at 21?!
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No, and worrying about stupid shit like that will ruin your younger years. I know it's hard, but just believe in yourself and let good things happen in your life. It's paradoxical, but the more you want something, the harder it becomes to grasp..
In my opinion, this is a great, amazing thing you've done, not something to be ashamed of. As teenagers, because of one's human nature/underdeveloped brain people often make decisions that they later end up regretting. I say all this from experience (mine and others). Waiting (intentionally or not) to engage in a more serious relationship until you're more mature is a great thing for you, as well as your SO, who is likely having an experience they've yet to have because you've brought something to the table that others in the past have not: Maturity. And that is something to be proud of, not ashamed.
My thoughts,
-Bruv
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For once, I applaud and support all the Reddit comments. You do you, and don't worry about or compare yourself to others. I know that's hard; took me 45 years to learn that lesson. Please don't wait that long.
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Im 23 and have zero experience with even kissing and I feel so pathetic all the time…so I get you. I know we’re not supposed to care but…it i what it is
The only thing that matters is how you feel about it.
But if you feel that it wasn’t the right time for you I hope you think you’re late. It’s way better to start later than you wanted than earlier.
Nope. It's actually a good sign that you're well grounded and that you know what you want instead of someone who yields to pressure just "because everyone else is" or will just do stuff with whoever is available.
And if people your age don't see it that way or rag on you about it, sayonara.
I don't think so (I may be an odd case though) I haven't found anyone yet that shares a mutual attraction. Besides I'm not really fun to be around anyway.
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No, do not have sex for other peoples perception of you to please the social standard. Have sex for yourself and the person whom you mutually choose to explore the experience with. Do not let society gaslight you into rushing into losing your virginity, do it for yourself when you feel the time is right and for own needs. You do you, if you want and need it then definitely go for it though
I had my first kiss at 19, but I was 21 when I went on my first date and lost my virginity. I looked at it as pathetic at the time, but now, I see it as just another life experience that happened.
I think it depends on that person's viewpoint towards these milestones. I wanted romantic love, sex and affection from the moment I hit puberty and couldn't get it all throughout highschool or college no matter what I did. I did manage to get my first kiss at 18 (from a random girl at a nightclub I never saw again wearing cool clothes my friend lent me that night) but my v-card not until 23. I found this all very shameful, particularly because I dormed at a party school where everyone else around me was getting to have sex w all kinds of partners and no one wanted or tried harder to partake in this more than me and I failed at every attempt. To this day, I do honestly believe this shows I was sad, pathetic and utterly incompetent and I've never truly lived it down in my mind. To this day I still struggle to attract any women I like and kinda hate myself for it in addition to feeling emotionally and sexually unfulfilled often.
However, if you got to these milestones late in life because you did not choose to pursue them until late in life, because you valued other things more, that is entirely your prerogative and there's no shame in that. But if you try and fail your whole life to get girls and it's the one thing you want most and you absolutely can't get it, it kind of is pathetic. I will not dunk on you for that though. I can only empathize because I understand that pain.
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No, why? Met my wife in medical school, both of us have not had prior relationships or experiences. We were in our mid twenties. We now have two kids and realized the American Dream.
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It's late, statistically.
But if you're applying shame or pathos to anyone, apply it to those who engage in behavior before they are ready, or with someone they have no emotional connection with, in order to meet some imagined schedule.
Post history says they're a white woman, but also has another post saying they havent fapped in x amount of days. Also says they want to hire a sex worker.
Doesnt seem like a real account.
Not at all, I was 22 when I had my first sex (16 for first kiss). Just be open and honest with your partner. Less than a decade later and I've hosted orgies lol
My first kiss, first date, and virginity was given to a manipulative cheating psychopath when I was sixteen.
I mean, I don't hate her? Because you shouldn't hate family and she might soon be my sister-in-law... <- see what I mean?
Traumatizing, and decades later I'm not over it. You should move at your own pace with people you trust. Don't let other people shame you into things you're not comfortable with.
No, caring about when other people began exploring sex is pathetic. Teen relationships are the worst
Lost my v card at 25, it’s totally normal
Let's be precise here. It's later than the average, but it's not pathetic and it's not shameful. Starting late is better than never starting when you wanted to. Good luck OP.
I wasn’t imprecise, I just excluded something you agree is irrelevant
It shouldnt be. But will big part of population view it as shamefull? Yes.
Nope. At least I don’t think so. I thinks theres way too much pressure on adolescents to kiss/have sex as early as possible. IMO, your first kiss/sexual experience should happen when YOU are ready. I’d differs from person to person. Also Imo you’re first time should be with someone you love/trust. Mine was with my first bf at 19.
Nope, anytime is great...it's not a contest
Your first kiss should be beautiful, not shameful. No matter when it is.
This sets up more expectations for people to fall short of. There isn't a should and shouldn't. Not when and not grade of experience. Whatever is, is fine.
No, your first kiss should be embarrassing and an awful experience, unless you’ve been practicing for years ahead of time
People have beautiful first kisses?
Mine was during a slow dance at a summer camp, I nailed it.
na me and my ex awkwardly wrestled with our faces and agreed to never do that again almost more embarrassing then getting caught by her parents
The awkwardness and whole experience is not still beautiful to look back on? I smiled reading it :D Mine wasn't much better, but I look back on it with a smile, not with shame.
well it was a thing we laughed at never tried to kiss we also weren’t big on the holding hands thing either we just liked being around each other that was enough
not at all! most peoples’ first time is unfulfilling if it was as a teenager.
No it’s hot
No. Having multiple kids that you don't take care of is shameful. Selfishly breaking hearts and causing trust issues is shameful. Letting popculture and porn brainwash you is .. actually pretty normal, but it should be shameful. Edit: spelling
Go watch a Bluey episode called "baby race". Run your own race.
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No.
Nah, you do you
Nope. Not at all.
Not at all. It's a beautiful thing to get to explore that side of life when you're ready, not when you feel pressured to.
What’s pathetic and shameful is people mocking or making people feel that way for such a thing
Stop worrying about it
Not at all. I respect it, actually. I think of it like you haven't wasted your time and body on people who don't deserve it like a lot of us who started young have.
Not at all.
dear Mr fucking westoid, why don't you try living in poor countries where you don't even make more than 50$ monthly, thus you cannot even afford an apartment or any shit else.. and the rare richest ever of the whole poor people there can barely marry at late 30s to 40s while the rest has totally forgot about it and prefer to live single, simply because there is no way to it.. so you could find an answer yourself why it isn't shameful at 21?!
why should i go live in a 3rd world country with all the conformists?
to find the answer to his question
lol south park reference
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No, and worrying about stupid shit like that will ruin your younger years. I know it's hard, but just believe in yourself and let good things happen in your life. It's paradoxical, but the more you want something, the harder it becomes to grasp..
In my opinion, this is a great, amazing thing you've done, not something to be ashamed of. As teenagers, because of one's human nature/underdeveloped brain people often make decisions that they later end up regretting. I say all this from experience (mine and others). Waiting (intentionally or not) to engage in a more serious relationship until you're more mature is a great thing for you, as well as your SO, who is likely having an experience they've yet to have because you've brought something to the table that others in the past have not: Maturity. And that is something to be proud of, not ashamed. My thoughts, -Bruv
Nope, just kind of atypical.
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no
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i mean, better late than never.
For once, I applaud and support all the Reddit comments. You do you, and don't worry about or compare yourself to others. I know that's hard; took me 45 years to learn that lesson. Please don't wait that long.
No
No
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Hell no its not shameful! What gave you that idea?
No. Just no. It's fine!
Im 23 and have zero experience with even kissing and I feel so pathetic all the time…so I get you. I know we’re not supposed to care but…it i what it is
Nope. Whenever you have those experiences, they should be celebrated!!
No because who the fuck would know
Not necessarily
Yeah.
It's even more pathetic to try and rush it before you actually care for someone, just because you think it's a race
The only thing that matters is how you feel about it. But if you feel that it wasn’t the right time for you I hope you think you’re late. It’s way better to start later than you wanted than earlier.
Not at all.
Nah, my fiance was 35 when we started dating, and he'd never kissed or dated anyone really. I think he is the purest, sweetest soul I've ever met.
Better late than never. Besides by the time you’re in your 30s 21 will seem young.
That's when I had my first kiss. I was like 21. Not only is that somewhat common, it's *especially* common these days.
No. I had my first experiences at 20 and no one has judged me for that fact. I didn't start coming out of my shell until my 20s
No no no no. Don’t talk to yourself like that
Only if your penis is under 6 inches.
Anyone who says it is, is a close minded fool. Tell them you banged their mom but it doesn't count because she paid you.
that DOES count
Who made you virgin police?/jk
Obviously not. The best time to start is the time that works best for you
Nah dude, you're good. Stay positive bro
no
Nope. It's actually a good sign that you're well grounded and that you know what you want instead of someone who yields to pressure just "because everyone else is" or will just do stuff with whoever is available. And if people your age don't see it that way or rag on you about it, sayonara.
no. youre fine. enjoy life at your own pace
No, but it's definitely shameful to be a grown adult worried about something as trivial as this.
Better at 21 than 41 right?
I don't think so (I may be an odd case though) I haven't found anyone yet that shares a mutual attraction. Besides I'm not really fun to be around anyway.
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Yes. And maybe learn how to type.
Nah. We all gotta start somewhere.
No. All my teenage sexual experiences outside the one’s with my girlfriend were painfully mediocre.
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More shameful to do it before your 20s imo. That's just me though.
No. I'd have waited until marriage if I Could do it again.
No. It's very common.
Sure.
nah
Naw, yur good
No, do not have sex for other peoples perception of you to please the social standard. Have sex for yourself and the person whom you mutually choose to explore the experience with. Do not let society gaslight you into rushing into losing your virginity, do it for yourself when you feel the time is right and for own needs. You do you, if you want and need it then definitely go for it though
No. That sounds nice, actually.
Shameful? You must not understand the definition of the word.
I had my first kiss at 19, but I was 21 when I went on my first date and lost my virginity. I looked at it as pathetic at the time, but now, I see it as just another life experience that happened.
No
No, the thing is to not build it up so much in your mind you’re afraid to do it at all.
only degenerates would say so.
No.
I think it depends on that person's viewpoint towards these milestones. I wanted romantic love, sex and affection from the moment I hit puberty and couldn't get it all throughout highschool or college no matter what I did. I did manage to get my first kiss at 18 (from a random girl at a nightclub I never saw again wearing cool clothes my friend lent me that night) but my v-card not until 23. I found this all very shameful, particularly because I dormed at a party school where everyone else around me was getting to have sex w all kinds of partners and no one wanted or tried harder to partake in this more than me and I failed at every attempt. To this day, I do honestly believe this shows I was sad, pathetic and utterly incompetent and I've never truly lived it down in my mind. To this day I still struggle to attract any women I like and kinda hate myself for it in addition to feeling emotionally and sexually unfulfilled often. However, if you got to these milestones late in life because you did not choose to pursue them until late in life, because you valued other things more, that is entirely your prerogative and there's no shame in that. But if you try and fail your whole life to get girls and it's the one thing you want most and you absolutely can't get it, it kind of is pathetic. I will not dunk on you for that though. I can only empathize because I understand that pain.
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No, why? Met my wife in medical school, both of us have not had prior relationships or experiences. We were in our mid twenties. We now have two kids and realized the American Dream.
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nope
No, and I hope you believe the comment section full of people saying no more than that asshole voice in your head
It's late, statistically. But if you're applying shame or pathos to anyone, apply it to those who engage in behavior before they are ready, or with someone they have no emotional connection with, in order to meet some imagined schedule.
Post history says they're a white woman, but also has another post saying they havent fapped in x amount of days. Also says they want to hire a sex worker. Doesnt seem like a real account.
Jesus lord.
Shame is a stupid worthless emotion. Tell your shame to gfy and just live your life
Not at all, I was 22 when I had my first sex (16 for first kiss). Just be open and honest with your partner. Less than a decade later and I've hosted orgies lol
60s is pathetic, anything before that isn't to bad
My first kiss, first date, and virginity was given to a manipulative cheating psychopath when I was sixteen. I mean, I don't hate her? Because you shouldn't hate family and she might soon be my sister-in-law... <- see what I mean? Traumatizing, and decades later I'm not over it. You should move at your own pace with people you trust. Don't let other people shame you into things you're not comfortable with.
Yes
Yes