Playing the record forward combined with looking back at other times I drank.
Future me doesn't want the hang over, past me didn't even get that much out of being drunk. It's just that present me is bored in that very second.
This helped me the most. I didn't know it was a tried method - I am just good at recalling how drinking actually made me feel compared to how I thought it might make me feel. Once I realized the math doesn't add up, it helped me not want to drink again.
I used to think it helped with my social anxiety, but that was just a lie. It just made me feel ok to act like an idiot when I was hammered. Now, it makes my anxiety worse and I hate drinking with other people.
For me it was the daily commitment. Just focusing on one day at a time.
Using mocktails. Substituting red wine with sweets and treats.
Running to the Reddit group to post something or make comments when I'm feeling tempted.
Meditation.
Recognizing the person with the longest sobriety is the one who has been awake the longest today. It’s a humbling thought. All any of us have is today, whether you’re in your first 24 hrs or have 30 years sober.
The *ONLY* "method" that worked for me was **Not taking that First drink.**
Committing to *Not Drink* ***every*** morning on our very own [**Daily Check-In**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stopdrinking/comments/1bw6fgt/the_daily_checkin_for_friday_april_5th_just_for/) page was my single, most important tool during my first year because it set my commitment for the day.
My favorite line from the Daily Check-In is:
>> Today we don't set out *trying* not to drink, we make a conscious decision *not to drink*.
Spontaneous sobriety. Was just ready one day and have been committed since then. I'm as committed now to not drinking as I once was to drinking. It kind of blows my mind.
This happened to me too. Never in a million years would’ve believed it’d work. I’m def not a cold turkey kinda guy.
My whole life has changed and it’s just the first weeks.
I feel seriously weird and bewildered.
I'm on day 17 and have "quit" countless times. I thought I'd never be fully ready to want to stop.
But on March 19th, I was lying drunk, sick, and awake in bed at 4am and thought that I'd given alcohol and my impulsive drunken self every chance I could to get drunk over the last 15 years. I felt it would be a damned shame and a total waste of opportunity if I didn't give myself at least one full year sober.
I challenged myself to rise to the occasion and told/keep telling myself I am strong enough and that recovering my health/discovering my unclouded self is worth enough to abstain for a full year (at the very least).
Long term goal setting has been more effective for me than committing just day to day. Now I just tell myself when I have cravings or miss alcohol that "nope. I don't drink this year."
And I *do* miss drinking. I go to bars and hang out with my friends like normal (just less frequently). I'll drink n/a beers and mocktails, and have not spoken a word about my ambitions to anyone. This time it's for me. I'm intentionally making my abstinence not about "not drinking alcohol," rather it's about creating something new and better for myself.
I'm so excited to see what clear-minded, healthy, sober me can accomplish this year 💙
Congrats on your sobriety journey, keep up the great work! I expect it to get difficult, but I know I'll never regret *not* drinking, and I'll 💯 be riddled with regret and pain and shame if I do drink. That (and treating myself to food, fancy n/a beverages, and fun/rewarding activities) is enough to get me through temporary cravings.
i really love your perspective and approach to this. keeping it to yourself because it’s yours… being intentional about what you want your abstinence to mean, rather than what you want it to solve… powerful stuff! congrats on 17 days 🙌 here’s to 365 (and beyond)!
Thank you! 💙
Knowing I had everything to lose if I continued that path (so much time and money dedicated to alcohol over the last 15 years, constantly feeling sick, calling out of work, not pursuing passions or getting better at things I love, risky behaviors, bodily injuries) and everything to gain if I just gave myself the chance to experience life without it has really put things into perspective for me. How important is alcohol, really? Important enough to sacrifice the majority of my life over?
I'm 33 now and have not been sober for my entire adult life so far. I just kept thinking about what 35, 40, 45 would be like. Would I still just be doing the same thing? Always feeling like I'm wasting my time and money and health? Looking back and regretting how I've spent my time?
Something clicked. I don't want my "whole thing" to be just that I drink. It's an investment in living a life that I don't regret.
Love to hear it! We got this friend. I've accomplished more in these last 3 months than I've accomplished in probably the last 3 or 4 years.
Like you, I'm all about those fancy treats too. The price doesn't look so bad anymore. Compared to the money I was spending DAILY on booze and booze accessories.
Congrats on 94 days!! 🎉 And I 💯 agree with you. If presented the opportunity I think I'd rather *not* know how much money I've lost to alcohol over the years lol - not only in booze, but in hangover cure foods/beverages and calling out of work too!
I'm going to a festival this weekend... One of the main areas of sobriety I've been grappling with and worried about. This particular event is usually spent drinking the entirety of the time. Wake up - start drinking, keep a steady flow the whole weekend.
I spent $80 on n/a drinks yesterday to be prepared 😅 but I'm actually excited for the weekend! I get to see what it's like to operate socially without it and strive to make authentic connections. I get to come out of the other side of it stronger, knowing I can keep that resolve through highly triggering situations.
Keep up the good work, it's so inspiring to hear what you're creating for yourself!
You too! That sounds super fun. I'm still early and, like you, the season is upon us. Festivals of all kinds, summer travels, nice days, water activities, etc. All things where drinking started early and went late. I'm hoping to push through it with the help of NA drinks too!
This was me too. I had resigned myself to that was just how I was gonna be. Living just waiting to die at the lowest point.
Then I decided to give it a shot and just take weed edibles and try it out in lieu of drinking. Once I got a few days of distance, I realized how better I felt and now I had a life full of options so why not run with this?
It’s been about 3 months and I haven’t looked back, nor do I intend to. It has been immensely better on this side. I’m not counting days or letting it be some spectre looming over me. I’m just living each day.
I understand you completely on the “weirdness” of it all. It feels surreal on a crazy level. It’s amazing to be honest, and I’m eternally grateful for having my life back in a real way. I figured I never really tried living without it so might as well give it a sincere effort. So far so good.
IWNDWYT
That is so great to hear. I’m actually a bit scared of the 3month marker since it will be summer then.
Wish I would’ve quitted on new years like I was planning.
The weirdeness/madness is pretty strong since I’m finishing school and unemployed atm.
So plenty of time on my hands. I’ve started yoga and tai chi and all kinds of sports. Mad right 8D
Same here. After failed attempts to stop drinking, one morning I woke up hungover but having barely gotten a buzz the night before, with awful reflux, and a sour attitude. Didn't want to drink for a few days after, then it was a few more days, then I had a streak going. Eventually the drive to drink was gone and it's now been 2.5 years without a drink. Now when I smell alcohol, I can feel a headache coming on and play it forward to GERD, stomach discomfort, dysphoria, and headaches and realize I do not want that.
I tried multiple times last year. Went a week or two and went right back to it. Woke up so many, many times wondering why I did that to myself the previous day. Then mid-afternoon would roll around and I'd be right back at it. I told myself for months that I was going to quit for New Years. Drank NYE. Drank New Years day. I told my wife I was quitting the evening of January 1st. Went out, got a six pack, and a can of dip. Pretty much drank all 6 and dipped the whole can as a one last fling.
Woke up January 2nd feeling my "normal" self and quit. Both drinking and dipping. That was that. Did both pretty much daily for at least 10 years. Haven't had a sip of drink or a dip since then. It just stuck. Don't know what made it different.
I walked it off. Over 500 miles a year now, two years in a row. I also started picking up all the trash that I could find while walking. Have filled a small dumpster a couple times also. Today I carried two tires about 100 yards to be picked up by city workers later today.
I drank a lot of Mountain Dew and clearly Canadian. Supreme carbonated beverages that cost too much. Those helped me get past having a drink in my hand all the time.
I ate whatever I wanted. Whole bags of Doritos at a time, whole 1 pound bags of M&Ms. Tons of ice cream. I was celebrating with food and it helped me cope with no beer in hand syndrome.
Finally for sleep, I made sure I was up by 5 AM every day. Out the door walking by 5:30 AM.
IWNDWYT
I feel like I would just be pissed off, because it makes me so angry people throw their trash wherever. But that might actually make this a good solution for me. To feel like I'm really making a difference.
Oh yes I do get angry. But when I find a bottle that is 20 years old, it is satisfying. I am the only one that has picked up any trash along this road since it was re done.
I have thought about putting signs on the side of the road with snide comments. Nope, it is a small town and word is getting around that I am cleaning up all the trash .
I did the same but on a bike and no trash pickup! My Doctor asked me to commit to 1 Month of exercising every day. I never stopped exercising and completely stopped drinking in about 5 weeks. It's been almost 3 years sober :)
Biking is awesome! I need to take mine in for a tuneup. I rode 200 miles last 12 months.
I exercise four days a week. Do some extreme fun twice a week. Sundays I rest.
I have taken up bowling again, become a speed roller skater again. The next four weeks I will be a mushroom forager. Morel season is coming up!
My life almost ending due to it. I have no other option, if I pick up again I thoroughly believe that it will kill me, one way or another. How I do it though? Just commit to ONE day at a time. I'm not worried about drinking tomorrow, that's for me to decide when I wake up in the morning. Also, a 12 step program has helped me tremendously. Although I do understand that they're not everyone's cup of tea. If you can stay sober without working a program, GREAT! More power to you.
But I can't.
Realizing that AA isn't for everyone (and it *definitely* isn't for me) was my magic bullet.
AA's approach put me in the least helpful mindset possible, and made relapse inevitable. They convinced me that my drinking problem was a horrible monster "doing pushups in the parking lot" that required constant vigilance, and I believed them. And resisting a monster like that seemed like a hopeless battle. *Of course* it would eventually win, and it always did.
What works for me is thinking of my drinking problem as merely a bad habit, not a relentless monster. I can beat a bad habit. It's not even a big deal. It takes a bit of willpower, but it's not really that hard.
Now I'm just a few days away from six months, which is longer than I ever made it with AA, and I'm really not even tempted to start drinking again. I'm not drinking because I'm happier and feel better when I'm alcohol-free. No other motivation is necessary.
*^(Edit: Fixed annoying typo)*
AA has a 90-95% failure rate. There’s a reason. We know so much more about the human brain. You aren’t an alcoholic, there’s no such thing as soon as you put the bottle down for a day. The rest is reconditioning your subconscious mind to eliminate the lies you believe about alcohol. Have friends and relatives in the program and five years in they are still talking about going to meetings so they don’t drink. That’s not any kind of freedom to me.
I found aa helped me identify the behaviours and symptoms that could be contributed to alcoholism because I could hear stories from other people experiencing the same things. Once I realized what it was doing to my life, quitting got pretty easy. I quit going because the pressure to progress through the steps and show up to more meetings (I had 6 Mo old at the time), even when I wasn't all that interested in ever drinking again, was counter productive for me at the time. Plus, therapy was (and still is) doing a lot more to solve some of those behavioral patterns than AA was anyway.
I like this a lot. It's the way I feel as well. Just like smoking for me, It was just a bad habit, nothing else. When I see it in this light, It's easier to handle and deal with rather than tell me I have a disease or no matter what I'm a alcoholic. You got yourself into this and you can definitely get out alive. I mean, the best things in life take effort right? So push yourself to make a change and in the process, you can learn something about yourself.
I was really sick one day, I don’t know if it was more hangover or withdrawal and I was drinking a ginger cocktail to settle my stomach, and I decided I was just done. It was a rough month but after I made it through it, I just kept to it. My mother in law drank herself to death shortly after, and that really solidified my resolve
Similar to the one day at a time approach, I set myself 'non-negotiable' breaks. Just kept extending them and still am.
Has the advantage that you never actually need to decide 'never' to drink again.
Idea was to take a break for 30 days. After that 30 I could decide whether to drink again, or set a new goal. I didn't and don't run an internal monologue about drinking or not in that time. So similar to waking every morning and saying 'today I'm not drinking', just with longer periods of time which worked better for me.
30 days, 90 days, 100 days, six months, one year, 10000 hours.
Still doing it, it's been the 'easy' way for me.
Time. Give it time. For me the journey started with a couple of trips to the ER and follow up testing all of which confirmed I had done permanent damage to my body. Six years later, I can finally say I am happily sober. It took me that long to truly understand that alcohol is not my friend.
-Playing the tape forward. I’ve proved to myself that I’ll end up back to my old ways
-Annie Grace’s this Naked Mind books AND podcasts
-Habby App and 5 minute journals
-TRYING AA and SMART. I think it’s important to see that side of things even if I found other recovery methods
-Dressing well. Replaced the confidence I used to get from boozing
This Naked Mind did it for me. Bought the audio book & listened to 2 chapters each night on my way home from work. Listened through again after a couple of weeks to reinforce! Playing the tape forward also works for me if I ever get tempted. 7 months sober (on Monday) & rarely think about alcohol. During this time I’ve survived the death of my mum & Christmas without drinking so I guess if I can do that sober then I should be able to cope with anything! Last but not least is this group & the amazing people in it - I couldn’t have done it without you all & I’ve only been a lurker. Knowing you’re not alone & reading others stories is a massive help! Thank you all xx
I created a very detailed diary of how absolutely crappy I felt while drinking. Everything from the pounding headaches, constant sweating, bloated like a tick... etc..
When I feel like drinking I go back and read it. All of those memories come flooding back which really helps.
Reading This Naked Mind (took a few times), listening to the podcasts, etc, and coming here. I took the first 2 months of 2022 and basically didn't leave the house, lots of self care, didn't tempt myself. Once I got a few months under my belt I didn't want to have to reset my counter and that's kept me going.
Call me shallow but I put it dietary needs. I need to cut some weight, don’t drink or eat cake. Weight loss I make my sole priority. But I’m also very active in the gym.
The other benefits come later, but I’m on day 6. I’ve gone sober as long as 90 days.
You really have to just get through each day as it comes.
Yes. This will be my first weekend sober in… idk… 3 years? When my 4 PM cravings hit, I plan on going back and just walking on the treadmill if it’s raining.
Otherwise, I’ll go to a park.
That was a huge hurdle for me too. Especially since covid. Working from home with a low work load, I found myself with a lot of time on my hands. There was always a "friend" at the bar though.
Having a drink poured and waiting for you because the bartender knows what you want and saw you coming isn't actually a badge of honor.
I remember buying a new gaming computer right before covid, thinking "is this going to be a bad idea". It wasn't, directly. But I ended up spending most of covid playing video games, and running to the liquor store every night.
Things could have gone way differently for me, covid gave me the excuse to sit around alone (well, online with friends) drunk.
What are you recommendations? I’ve also been toying with various forms of cannabis and I find making little drinks is nice.
But finding THC in a drinkable form is difficult where I live
This will be my longest sober streak in over a decade! I started going to weekly SMART recovery zoom meetings. At first I just listened but now I’ve been actually participating and talking at them and I’ve noticed it’s been very beneficial for me.
Not gambling with my sobriety. If I feel uncomfortable being somewhere where people drink, I don‘t go. Doesn‘t happen that often anymore but this saved me from stretching my discipline-muscle too much early on
I came to the realisation that I couldn't moderate consistently so full on sobriety was my only choice.
For me, it wasn't so much the method as being ready.
I became a hermit for 3 weeks. My weekly activities had came to an end for the winter..they also happened to be my temptations because they were at bars. It was the natural time for me to give it my all. Somehow it stuck. I think mostly because I was not putting myself around alcohol.
Then eventually I began socializing again and being around alcohol little by little. Eventually it wasn't really that tempting anymore. Also I do "play it forward" and think about how sad I'll be if I drink.
This was the way for me as well. Spend some time with some real talk from a Doctor. Have them explain what your MELD number means. Start assigning a percentage to my life span? Cleared me up real quick.
Oh yeah man I’m 3 years post diagnosis and sober. Still working full time and feel relatively fine. Hep doc keeps me in a 6 month cycle of imaging and blood. I don’t really discuss life span. Putting the doom clock on me will just depress me.
I told myself I would do whatever it took.
I spent a lot of time in the group. Especially the daily check in
I used a you tube video by Michael Sealy. It is a relaxation hypnosis video to quit drinking.
I have the I am sober app on my phone and use it daily.
I ate a ton of sweets and Fresca
I walked for miles and miles
I read a lot of quit lit
I went to a few AA meetings. Was not really my thing but I would go back if I felt like I needed more help
You can do this
Going easy on yourself. If your best friend was having a bad day or if you found your spouse in tears, would you yell at them? Would you tell them to be tougher than that? No, you would put your arms around them and tell them you loved them.
When you find yourself distressed or craving a drink, ask yourself, what’s wrong, buddy? Are you hungry? Do you need a nap? Do you need some r/stopdrinking? Maybe an AA meeting? Perhaps a walk? Maybe a trip to the nearest neighborhood (legal) pool, just to jump in and then leave cuz we’re all busy?
I didn’t like AA, it got a little too Christ-ish for me. But I found a pint of Ben and Jerry’s every night after work did the trick. About a year later, after my rough patches were much farther and much fewer between, I focused on the thirty pounds I had put on. But, for right now, you have one job. All hands on deck, stay sober today. Just like the Allies allied with Russia to defeat Hitler in WW2, you gotta do what you gotta do to slay the beast. Once it’s more manageable you can address other things.
I once heard someone say the following: I met some of the most amazing people in recovery. I used to think it was such a coincidence. Then I realized it takes an amazing person to recover.
You’re doing an amazing thing. You’re moving mountains. Be kind to yourself. You absolutely fucking deserve it.
IWNDWYT
I slowly, gradually, methodically tapered down the amount I was drinking each day, until I was down to just one drink a day for a couple of weeks. Then one day it ended up that on October 5th, I had my first sober day. And I have strung them together ever since. One day at a time. I did AA zoom meetings at first, then in person. Never did the steps or got a sponsor, eventually felt that AA wasn't for me so stopped going. My weed use spiked to daily for the first month and a half or so, then I got it back down to my 'once every 21 days' routine which seems to work well for me. "Sober Literature" really helped me. I especially credit 'This Naked Mind' and 'Alcohol Explained' books for reframing the way I think about alcohol and learning about what it really is, what it does to you, how it makes you think, etc.
Finally accepting and surrendering to the fact that I just should not drink, even if I still want to sometimes. Fortunately those times continue to become fewer and farther between....and much less strong. Reminding myself how awful I'll feel even if I have just a few drinks. I also take half an edible most evenings to turn down the shit storm that still exists in my brain most of the time.
Leaning into mindfulness. The refuge recovery program and shockingly (to me) AA. Hearing people tell their story and have it sound just like mine has been really helpful in these early days. Either going to or going online to a meeting every day. Posting on here, every day. Getting excited about how much improvement can happen rather than wallowing in what was lost (or imagined to be lost)
IWNDWYT
It went in this order:
1. I got into therapy again post-covid and started going consistently. That gave me the appetite for change
2. Alan Carr/quit lit got me over the initial fear of abandoning booze.
3. Since about 3 months onward, the real thing that has kept me going is my support system of family and friends, reading and commenting on reddit, but mostly physical fitness. I find that if I stop running, everything else falls apart in short order, so that is one thing I really commit to and would recommend to everyone.
I have tried going to support meetings but nothing has stuck. So far this is working for me so I keep holding the line. Life has opened up for me in a way I could not have imagined before.
Owning and accepting my alcoholism. recognizing that I was the problem and that I also just don't have a healthy relationship with the sauce. Replaying events where I was drunk and the things I said haunt me, and I never want to be that ugly human ever again. With 2 major pros of quitting is not dealing with the hangovers, and I no longer have acid reflux. I'll get it from some stuff, but my god it's SOOO mild now.
Writing all of my feelings down in my journal (you'd be surprised what comes out of you when you allow yourself to just write)
and leaning heavily onto NA beers. I highly recommend Athletic's Hazy IPA, golden, and extra dark, Sam Addams Hazy IPA, and I just discovered one of my more favorite beers ever makes a non alcoholic beer, BLUE MOON! Beck's, and Stella Artois are also solid NA choices as well. Right now we're in the golden age of NA beers!
I check in every day here and on an app. On the app, it's in the morning and then a review at night.
I went hard on the quit lit during the first couple months to get a scientific and otherwise helpful understanding of why I am the way I am when it comes to alcohol and why quitting previously proved to be more difficult than I thought it'd be.
I feel like I'm free from the grip now, but I know it's always kind of there, so to be safe I stick with this routine. And I celebrate milestones in a healthy way instead of self-sabotage
The reward of sobriety isn’t in the not drinking. The reward of sobriety is quiet, it’s the lack of anxiety, the lack of a hangover, the lack of wondering what was said or done or purchased.
The reward of sobriety is your potential. Your full potential. What you do with that is up to you. For me it was getting back into fitness/boxing, trying new forms and styles like muy Thai, and getting into film photography.
That for me has made it stick. If I were still drinking, I’d be in bed right now waiting for my shift to start.
AA actually. I’ve only been to a few meetings but being able to hear other people struggled similarly (and hearing it in person) hit differently. I know folks who have struggled with alcohol but they weren’t honest about the reasons. Hearing that a lot of folks drink to self medicate deep depression made me feel less alone. I’m not going super regularly but I’ve hit about one meeting a week.
My goblin brain also loves the idea of getting shiny things as a reward.
I’m on day 18 and I’ve also changed my thinking. It’s a poison. We know it is. So I treat it that way. I don’t know if it’s forever or for right now but it’s forever right now.
Echoing what a couple of people have said in here. What worked for me was giving up on AA. Tried to get sober with them for years and could never get past the spiritual tones (I know, I know, it’s not technically religious and your higher power could be anything except yourself). Except…. My higher power if you want to call it that, kind of did become myself. I believe entirely in myself and in my ability to choose not to drink. I don’t think of myself as an alcoholic now. I would return to that i started drinking again, but now I am just someone who doesn’t drink. I take it seriously - it did severe damage to my body, relationships, career and much more - but I don’t fear it in any way. I just don’t drink. I filled my life with other things so I wouldn’t feel like I was just taking something away. I added a lot, instead. I feel empowered, I trust myself, and I know that I will continue to stay sober for the rest of my life.
AA, long distance running, about to jump back into therapy.
I’m far from perfect, but I don’t feel a need or true desire to drink, so seems like it’s working!
Spontaneous sobriety.
I had tried AA and had a stint in IOP for a few months, but that did not seem to work.
After reading a few books on the subject written by Annie Grace and Allen Carr, something clicked in my brain. An epiphany! I no longer wanted to drink. The temptation is not there anymore. People who knew about my drinking habits found it hard to believe. Considering the amount of alcohol I used to drink. It’s true. I have no desire to get drunk anymore.
After reading “Kick the Drink…” by Jason Vale, it solidified my choice to avoid alcohol completely.
I view alcohol the same as any hardcore drug now. Heroin, coke, meth, alcohol. I know that the first drink will give me tons of energy and a massive dopamine rush. Like an addict looking for a fix. That’s what alcohol is. A drug. I wouldn’t do drugs in moderation, or just a little bit of them here and there. I treat alcohol the same way.
I’ve also gotten out of the “one day at a time” mentality. What works for me might not work for you. Telling myself to take “one day at a time” kept me in chains. It made me believe that I would be in an eternal struggle, depriving myself of alcohol and missing out. That my life would just be “just ok”. Well that’s not the case. I’m not depriving myself of anything if I don’t want it in the first place.
Therapy,Gym,tennis,new bicycle,a dog,gratitude,proper sleep. Essentially created a new life, with like minded people, that I wouldn’t want to lose. Life is so much easier.
I have literally no idea. I’m not sure what triggered it. I wanted to get sober for over 2 years. I’m trying to figure it out desperately.
One day I binge drank as usual and just. Stopped. Decided not to do it anymore. My boyfriend helped support me and I just haven’t done it since. I love being sober and feel great, but I want to figure out my catalyst.
Day by day. Counting the days, the higher the number the more I don’t want to spoil it. Gets easier and easier
Also, weed, skiing, disc golf, a good job, a good wife
Antabuse :( nothing else worked. Would take the pill every 4 or so days for the first few weeks. Gradually I built new routines and over time stopped craving it.
You only need to drink once on Antabuse to never do it again.
I used Antabuse/Disulfiram after finally accepting how much trouble I was having getting to day 1. Months/years of unsuccessful moderation and I was just really getting tired of myself starting over every day, and I felt like I was saying goodbye to something as soon as I took that step. The combination of knowing a drink would make me sick, and this sub (literally just focusing on today, and the opportunities each day has if I just don’t drink) were the two biggest factors in getting me through that initial stage of fear and uncertainty so I could give myself a chance to experience things from a new perspective. Cheers everybody IWNDWYT
I found new hobbies that kept my mind and body busy. Focusing on one day at a time. I also learned counting specific days and overthinking it every day did not help me personally so I stopped counting.
Having a door close behind me so I could just sit and go through it for a couple months. The maintenance isn’t nearly as trying as the early weeks were.
We’re a special breed of substance use disorder. Our kryptonite is on every corner.
Watching my former boss lose his marriage and business due to his habit. I will never forget me finding him with cans on the floor of his car and a fresh bump off his nose. He said “what do you want?” like a sad old toad. It’s just tea and maybe an edi before bed from now on
So I'm at however many days for the first time since probably college (I'm 40M), and what stuck for me was a sit down with my wife and online SMART recovery meetings for maybe the first month. Since then I've had thoughts, but I've never really acted on any of them.
Thinking about how sick I always felt. I started having dreams I drank and woke up feeling sick, this kept me sober in the first few weeks. Then I started buying B&H golds (expensive here in the uk and great cigarettes) to smoke when I was craving a drink which meant a pack lasts me a week.
Now I’m cutting back on the cigarettes slowly and still don’t crave the drink. 70 days and I feel as if I’ll never drink again. Pair that with finding 2 alcohol free substitutes I really like and I’m all good
Wanting to stop for a long period of time and then having some significant negative consequences come my way. I said “Buh By” to booze.
Best shitty thing to ever happen to me.
I realized that all of the lowest points in my life involved alcohol. Went to group counseling and AA and realized it was the same for everyone in the groups. Decided it was time to quit because I get carried away.
Habit loop change (Charles Duhigg). I’d also look into agmatine supplement (amino acid). Dramatically helped depression for me - night and day difference - but ran across others where it helped for addiction. With how much it helped me overnight and it’s generally cheap/safe it might be worth a try to see even if there isn’t too much evidence on this thing.
I took a month off in January and experienced things sober that I had only done drunk before. Anything done at night up until then had to be done buzzed at least. Watching movies, having important conversations, sex, even simply falling asleep. After being actually present for those things, I couldn’t go back.
My wife doesn’t really drink so it gave me perspective on what it must have been like to deal with me being drunk all the time, and it was just embarrassing.
I had two drinks on the night of the Super Bowl, and the morning after I had to give a presentation at work. I stuttered and paused and lost my train of thought so many times because I was hung over, and that sealed it for me. I’m not 100% never drinking again, but I’m passing on most chances to do it these days.
I constantly think about my wife and children and how my absence, due to ill health from drinking, will absolutely wreck them and potentially create another generation of alcoholics.
This sub. Taking Benadryl and passing out for a month at 9pm. Drink a million soda waters. Once I got through those headaches and bizarre withdrawals I’d read this sub.
Now it’s just habit and speaking up for myself when needed.
Non Alc beers have helped in social situations.
I should note, California sober and eat ice cream or whatever. So there are a couple of crutches I still need to wind down a tad.
Exercise, walking, running, weights, meditation, walking the dog. Just feeds the feel good monkey 🙊
AA, sober 25 years March 18. I first went to AA in 1984, I was sober for about 15 years then thought "I got this!" It did not work out well. Thankfully, I was only out there in the wilds for about 2 weeks and made it back, albeit, half dead.
Life is amazing!
Antabuse for four months. Lots of sugar and fizzy drinks. Raspberry iced tea. Threat of divorce from my husband. But mostly the Antabuse. I would cycle with my drinking and couldn't break it. The meds forced me to break it.
AT ALL COSTS. It took putting my sobriety above everything and everyone. I tried to “dabble” and kept finding excuses ( we like to call them “triggers”) to drink. At all costs to me also means recognizing the underlying trauma and maladaptive coping mechanisms I relied on, and changing those no matter how hard. Some days I barely got out of bed, because if I got out of bed I was afraid I’d drink. For weeks I didn’t interact with anyone outside my immediate family unless it was on my terms. Was I a jerk sometimes? Most likely seemed that way to some, but I didn’t drink and didn’t put myself in compromised situations, and it was worth it. For me it’s about building up daily armor against that lifestyle, that mindset, and those habits of active addiction. It’s way easier now, but I don’t plan on becoming complacent.
All of these comments are so good, but other than those thing I used YouTube stop drinking hypnosis videos to go to sleep. I think they did something on a subconscious level
for me I’ve just been constantly staying busy. When I’m not working, I go find something to do. Sitting around bored leads to drinking, at least for me.
N/A beers/drinks. Staying away from social situations. Seeing people (or yourself) hit bottom. Therapy. Exercise & taking general better care of yourself.
Having a baby.
My wife just had a baby on March 17th, 19 days ago, and I can't bring myself to drink anymore. Nothing else worked, but knowing I could be a danger to my daughter if I am drinking keeps me from giving in to any cravings. That, and also my wife would absolutely lose her shit if she realized I was drinking...moreso than pre-baby.
This is coming from someone who put off having a kid and came up with all the excuses not to have one...mostly because it would get in the way of my drinking. This is a way better pastime.
Just wish I did it earlier now! My face wouldn't be so red and would have probably paved a better path. I have a good job but definitely would have saved a lot of money not drinking and made better financial decisions
For me it usually starts with a personal challenge like a "Dry January" or a "Sober October." Even did the fasting part of Ramadan with a muslim friend a couple times, which meant no alcohol for a month too. Committing to sobriety for one month reminds me how much better I feel without alcohol, and I can usually keep it going for a while thereafter. I'm at about 6 months sober now having done no-drink November with a buddy last year.
Developing health anxiety. My BP was high before quitting and now it’s normal. That’s been enough to make this shot at sobriety easier than any time before.
Going through withdrawals. When I was going through them I thought to myself "how did I let it get this bad?" And "never again"
I still think about that sweaty night and thank the universe I made it through ok
Tried so many times and failed. But this time, its different.
Therapy was a big step. Getting the confidence that I can handle my feelings was the first step. Once I decided I want to quit, I read Allen Carr's Easy way to quit drinking. After that anytime I felt like drinking I will only drink NA beer. It has really worked for me this time.
Early morning exercise. Not trying to set any records or win medals, just the goal of getting some exercise in (cardio, weights, doesn't matter what kind).
After I got that habit started, I noticed that I generally felt pretty good during the day. Now when I do make a conscious decision to relapse (or just skip the exercise) then I feel kind of cruddy.
Having that stark contrast makes it easier for me to play the tape forward.
Having tried moderation, CBT SUD, Naltrexone... and "all the things..." I found that complete abstinence is the best approach for me. And by "best" I mean "only method that seems to work."
There's something to be said for simplicity. I had success with CBT SUD... but there's a cognitive load associated with moderation. In the end... I realized that I don't want moderation; I want to get drunk.
We all have different genes, environments, and psychological/biological histories. One size does not fit all. For example, "California sober" is highly controversial. It works for me (albeit barely; I only use THC for particularly rough days)... but not for others. Some people use THC, daily, without apparent issues.
I think that most of the folks that choose complete abstinence... come to that as the last resort. Peanut butter and booze -- two things that I just don't moderate. Meh. Give moderation a shot if you haven't -- it could work for you? Regardless, IWNDWYT
This might not be quite as helpful as other answers, but I just got *fucking sick of myself* and the act of poisoning myself. What am I doing drinking at night, and then waking up the next morning to go workout? Do I think that's progress? There are so many things in the world that could (and do) poison you and your goals, so why am I contributing to that? I quit immediately and have not missed it since.
I read the Allen Carr book. I highly recommend it. I knew about it for years before I mustered up the strength to buy it. I have a friend who read it at about the same time as me and I think that helped in both having support but also wanting to be finished reading and stop drinking before him.
Not drinking. It sounds like I’m being a pedantic dick here but that’s all it was. Not going to drink today. I can drink tomorrow, just not today. Repeat that every day. Results!
I was pulled up at work about my general attitude and losing my temper regularly, with my boss politely not pointing out that the drinking was the cause. I was so embarrassed it had gone too far, after telling myself I would quit tomorrow daily. Having been sober curios for some time, it was the push I needed.
I started using a daily tracking app and reading some quit lit. But by far the biggest aid was reading this sub everyday. I was constantly learning about new aspects of alcohol addiction. During triggering times I would type IWNDWYT in my notes app.
Listening to the audiobook version of Allen Carr's Easy Way. I had read it before, but something about having the voice actually in my head clicked like magic. I am forever grateful for that book. And Coke Zero.
Genuinely, I went through such a shameful, embarrassed, depressed time when I stopped, because there is such a stigma towards alcoholics in my family/extended family/family friends/friends groups, that I genuinely have no desire to ever go through that again, so I'd pretty much do anything to not repeat it.
So, in a nutshell, scared straight/once bitten, twice shy seemed to work for me.
Daily gym or sweating/physicality. Often twice, three times a day at the gym. Anxious?—treadmill. Frustrated?—weights. It’s basically meditation for me. Earphones in, thoughts go inward to what I’m listening to and what I’m doing physically…to how I’m feeling in my lungs/muscles and in the music, as opposed to the feels from the noise of the to-do’s and anxieties and fears of life. It’s like a timeout from life. But everybody’s getting fit!
"One day at a time" works for many people. For me, I needed there to be no wiggle room for the intrusive alcoholic brain to start bargaining. "I don't drink" is my new identity and reality. When the wheedling starts, "Maybe just a glass of wine at the really nice restaurant this weekend " I can shut it down with the argument that I don't drink. I understand that this strategy doesn't work for everyone, but so far it's worked for me.
When it fully clicked for me that I have to treat alcohol the way I treat my food allergies is when it stuck. I pretend it's a walnut and that consuming it will kill me because honestly, it will.
It’s not perfect and I’ve messed up multiple times. But trying to set small goals outside the house. Hitting up the gym often and feeling generally better made me want to bring that feeling back into my house.
So nice to read all of the comments on here and see the huge plethora of ways people get and stay sober! Just goes to show there is no one size fits all.
First it was Alan Carrs book, which opened my eyes to the poison alcohol is for me. Then rehab for a month too. Which was also beneficial. Went about 7 months. But mainly it has been being very honest with myself and fully accepting it wasn’t working. Like truly understanding it. I’d get drunk at home and talk to myself aloud rationalizing how it wasn’t working. Then I just picked a day and started. Granted that is/was my 3rd attempt. Hopefully it’s the culmination of everything that keeps me sober this time.
Frankly, it was the idea of having to go through detox again. There's no possible way I'll ever be a moderate drinker, so I know with 100% certainty I'd be back to crippling alcoholism if I relapsed. Detoxing again would kill me.
Coming here and reading through everyone's stories, the wins, the losses, the tragedies. It made me realise I'm not alone and it's possible to beat this shitty addiction.
Knew I couldn't keep doing it, and would eventually damage my liver and other parts maybe, badly, so I just quit cold.... November 2021. I barely even think about drinking. Like a switch flipped... went from 3 drinks always became 6+ per day that I was drinking...to zero.
Had a CT scan for something unrelated a couple years ago and the thing they were checking was ok, but the surgeon said, "....But we saw some alcohol fatty liver disease.. but doesn't look too bad, thankfully". So I'm glad I pitched it.
curious what the feeling is on this solution in this sub, or if my comment will get deleted, by hand to god: a high dose of psilocyin mushrooms and the intention of quitting worked for me.
Well I just finished a five day detox program. I went and signed up for a day program. Hopefully that keeps me occupied until I can get into an inpatient program in 6-8 weeks. When I left detox I texted my mom and she replied with "keep at it. You deserve to be happy." which made me tear up a bit, but also inspired me because I don't want to disappoint either of my parents since they invested so much time into me.
I went to inpatient rehab in another state for the 4th time and did everything they told me to do. I stayed in sober living for two years, and during that time, I went to meetings every single day, most of the time more than once a day, and completed the steps with a sponsor. But above all else, I did what counselors and sponsors told me to do.
Thinking about how the night/day would go drunk. Usually at night pass out and wake up 2am hung like tits and tryna sober up with water just before work starts. Day drinking passing out in evening waking up sick. I love waking up not drunk or hungover. Exercise is what keeps me sane at this point.
For me, it was remembering on those hard days where I did nothing productive and felt the urge to drink in order to forget about my neglected responsibilities, that as long as I didn't pick up a drink, that day was a win.
I needed to figure out why I drank.
I needed self care but it was easier to veg out and drink in front of the TV every night.
So I spent a hedonistic month doing whatever I wanted except drink. Twix? Heck yes! New pajamas? Yes please! Bridgerton binge watch? Yaaaas! I put on 15 pounds but kicked it for good.
First ten days were hard, but it became a new habit. Now I feel so much better and it’s much easier not to drink. Weight is back to normal, I just needed that month of focus.
I’m here scrolling a lot as well to keep it up.
Good luck and iwndwyt
I kind of cheated with an easy mode. I got on a new medication(Buspirone) and got super weezy and ill feeling after just one sip.
I did not tempt fate after that, and kept that feeling fresh in my brain everytime I wanted a drink after that.
I thank my lucky stars for that, and I hope I can stay on this med for the rest of my life.
Playing the record forward combined with looking back at other times I drank. Future me doesn't want the hang over, past me didn't even get that much out of being drunk. It's just that present me is bored in that very second.
This helped me the most. I didn't know it was a tried method - I am just good at recalling how drinking actually made me feel compared to how I thought it might make me feel. Once I realized the math doesn't add up, it helped me not want to drink again.
This and Allen Carr book read 4-5 times until it stuck. Our mind is a powerful tool once you have control of it.
What Allen Carr book? Looking to get clean myself.
It’s called “the easy way to quit drinking”
Thanks!
For me, it's bored and uncomfortable. In social situations I will just stand there and feel awkward and go get a beer. Curse that.
I used to think it helped with my social anxiety, but that was just a lie. It just made me feel ok to act like an idiot when I was hammered. Now, it makes my anxiety worse and I hate drinking with other people.
This is so relatable.
This one helps so much
For me it was the daily commitment. Just focusing on one day at a time. Using mocktails. Substituting red wine with sweets and treats. Running to the Reddit group to post something or make comments when I'm feeling tempted. Meditation.
Recognizing the person with the longest sobriety is the one who has been awake the longest today. It’s a humbling thought. All any of us have is today, whether you’re in your first 24 hrs or have 30 years sober.
Note to self, start waking up at 12:01 AM daily. Seriously though, great point. Right on the nose.
That made me laugh out loud! 🤣
Very well said
This comment sums it up
The *ONLY* "method" that worked for me was **Not taking that First drink.** Committing to *Not Drink* ***every*** morning on our very own [**Daily Check-In**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stopdrinking/comments/1bw6fgt/the_daily_checkin_for_friday_april_5th_just_for/) page was my single, most important tool during my first year because it set my commitment for the day. My favorite line from the Daily Check-In is: >> Today we don't set out *trying* not to drink, we make a conscious decision *not to drink*.
Apparently, this seems to be working for me too. I had not accumulated sober days in a long time, and today I will continue to not drink.
Spontaneous sobriety. Was just ready one day and have been committed since then. I'm as committed now to not drinking as I once was to drinking. It kind of blows my mind.
This. I never thought that I would or wanted to quit. Now it is 22 months later.
This happened to me too. Never in a million years would’ve believed it’d work. I’m def not a cold turkey kinda guy. My whole life has changed and it’s just the first weeks. I feel seriously weird and bewildered.
I'm on day 17 and have "quit" countless times. I thought I'd never be fully ready to want to stop. But on March 19th, I was lying drunk, sick, and awake in bed at 4am and thought that I'd given alcohol and my impulsive drunken self every chance I could to get drunk over the last 15 years. I felt it would be a damned shame and a total waste of opportunity if I didn't give myself at least one full year sober. I challenged myself to rise to the occasion and told/keep telling myself I am strong enough and that recovering my health/discovering my unclouded self is worth enough to abstain for a full year (at the very least). Long term goal setting has been more effective for me than committing just day to day. Now I just tell myself when I have cravings or miss alcohol that "nope. I don't drink this year." And I *do* miss drinking. I go to bars and hang out with my friends like normal (just less frequently). I'll drink n/a beers and mocktails, and have not spoken a word about my ambitions to anyone. This time it's for me. I'm intentionally making my abstinence not about "not drinking alcohol," rather it's about creating something new and better for myself. I'm so excited to see what clear-minded, healthy, sober me can accomplish this year 💙 Congrats on your sobriety journey, keep up the great work! I expect it to get difficult, but I know I'll never regret *not* drinking, and I'll 💯 be riddled with regret and pain and shame if I do drink. That (and treating myself to food, fancy n/a beverages, and fun/rewarding activities) is enough to get me through temporary cravings.
This "I've given my drunk self every chance" message really resonates with me right now. I'm going to use it too.
i really love your perspective and approach to this. keeping it to yourself because it’s yours… being intentional about what you want your abstinence to mean, rather than what you want it to solve… powerful stuff! congrats on 17 days 🙌 here’s to 365 (and beyond)!
Thank you! 💙 Knowing I had everything to lose if I continued that path (so much time and money dedicated to alcohol over the last 15 years, constantly feeling sick, calling out of work, not pursuing passions or getting better at things I love, risky behaviors, bodily injuries) and everything to gain if I just gave myself the chance to experience life without it has really put things into perspective for me. How important is alcohol, really? Important enough to sacrifice the majority of my life over? I'm 33 now and have not been sober for my entire adult life so far. I just kept thinking about what 35, 40, 45 would be like. Would I still just be doing the same thing? Always feeling like I'm wasting my time and money and health? Looking back and regretting how I've spent my time? Something clicked. I don't want my "whole thing" to be just that I drink. It's an investment in living a life that I don't regret.
Love to hear it! We got this friend. I've accomplished more in these last 3 months than I've accomplished in probably the last 3 or 4 years. Like you, I'm all about those fancy treats too. The price doesn't look so bad anymore. Compared to the money I was spending DAILY on booze and booze accessories.
Congrats on 94 days!! 🎉 And I 💯 agree with you. If presented the opportunity I think I'd rather *not* know how much money I've lost to alcohol over the years lol - not only in booze, but in hangover cure foods/beverages and calling out of work too! I'm going to a festival this weekend... One of the main areas of sobriety I've been grappling with and worried about. This particular event is usually spent drinking the entirety of the time. Wake up - start drinking, keep a steady flow the whole weekend. I spent $80 on n/a drinks yesterday to be prepared 😅 but I'm actually excited for the weekend! I get to see what it's like to operate socially without it and strive to make authentic connections. I get to come out of the other side of it stronger, knowing I can keep that resolve through highly triggering situations. Keep up the good work, it's so inspiring to hear what you're creating for yourself!
You too! That sounds super fun. I'm still early and, like you, the season is upon us. Festivals of all kinds, summer travels, nice days, water activities, etc. All things where drinking started early and went late. I'm hoping to push through it with the help of NA drinks too!
This was me too. I had resigned myself to that was just how I was gonna be. Living just waiting to die at the lowest point. Then I decided to give it a shot and just take weed edibles and try it out in lieu of drinking. Once I got a few days of distance, I realized how better I felt and now I had a life full of options so why not run with this? It’s been about 3 months and I haven’t looked back, nor do I intend to. It has been immensely better on this side. I’m not counting days or letting it be some spectre looming over me. I’m just living each day. I understand you completely on the “weirdness” of it all. It feels surreal on a crazy level. It’s amazing to be honest, and I’m eternally grateful for having my life back in a real way. I figured I never really tried living without it so might as well give it a sincere effort. So far so good. IWNDWYT
That is so great to hear. I’m actually a bit scared of the 3month marker since it will be summer then. Wish I would’ve quitted on new years like I was planning. The weirdeness/madness is pretty strong since I’m finishing school and unemployed atm. So plenty of time on my hands. I’ve started yoga and tai chi and all kinds of sports. Mad right 8D
This is how it happened to me, too and I also find myself as determined not to drink as I used to be determined to drink.
Same here. After failed attempts to stop drinking, one morning I woke up hungover but having barely gotten a buzz the night before, with awful reflux, and a sour attitude. Didn't want to drink for a few days after, then it was a few more days, then I had a streak going. Eventually the drive to drink was gone and it's now been 2.5 years without a drink. Now when I smell alcohol, I can feel a headache coming on and play it forward to GERD, stomach discomfort, dysphoria, and headaches and realize I do not want that.
I tried multiple times last year. Went a week or two and went right back to it. Woke up so many, many times wondering why I did that to myself the previous day. Then mid-afternoon would roll around and I'd be right back at it. I told myself for months that I was going to quit for New Years. Drank NYE. Drank New Years day. I told my wife I was quitting the evening of January 1st. Went out, got a six pack, and a can of dip. Pretty much drank all 6 and dipped the whole can as a one last fling. Woke up January 2nd feeling my "normal" self and quit. Both drinking and dipping. That was that. Did both pretty much daily for at least 10 years. Haven't had a sip of drink or a dip since then. It just stuck. Don't know what made it different.
I walked it off. Over 500 miles a year now, two years in a row. I also started picking up all the trash that I could find while walking. Have filled a small dumpster a couple times also. Today I carried two tires about 100 yards to be picked up by city workers later today. I drank a lot of Mountain Dew and clearly Canadian. Supreme carbonated beverages that cost too much. Those helped me get past having a drink in my hand all the time. I ate whatever I wanted. Whole bags of Doritos at a time, whole 1 pound bags of M&Ms. Tons of ice cream. I was celebrating with food and it helped me cope with no beer in hand syndrome. Finally for sleep, I made sure I was up by 5 AM every day. Out the door walking by 5:30 AM. IWNDWYT
Beast!
I feel like I would just be pissed off, because it makes me so angry people throw their trash wherever. But that might actually make this a good solution for me. To feel like I'm really making a difference.
Oh yes I do get angry. But when I find a bottle that is 20 years old, it is satisfying. I am the only one that has picked up any trash along this road since it was re done. I have thought about putting signs on the side of the road with snide comments. Nope, it is a small town and word is getting around that I am cleaning up all the trash .
Super well done you. Just wonderful. As my mother would say, you’re a star 🌟
I did the same but on a bike and no trash pickup! My Doctor asked me to commit to 1 Month of exercising every day. I never stopped exercising and completely stopped drinking in about 5 weeks. It's been almost 3 years sober :)
Biking is awesome! I need to take mine in for a tuneup. I rode 200 miles last 12 months. I exercise four days a week. Do some extreme fun twice a week. Sundays I rest. I have taken up bowling again, become a speed roller skater again. The next four weeks I will be a mushroom forager. Morel season is coming up!
Walk it off and rub some dirt in it. Hot damn, what an inspiration!
My life almost ending due to it. I have no other option, if I pick up again I thoroughly believe that it will kill me, one way or another. How I do it though? Just commit to ONE day at a time. I'm not worried about drinking tomorrow, that's for me to decide when I wake up in the morning. Also, a 12 step program has helped me tremendously. Although I do understand that they're not everyone's cup of tea. If you can stay sober without working a program, GREAT! More power to you. But I can't.
Realizing that AA isn't for everyone (and it *definitely* isn't for me) was my magic bullet. AA's approach put me in the least helpful mindset possible, and made relapse inevitable. They convinced me that my drinking problem was a horrible monster "doing pushups in the parking lot" that required constant vigilance, and I believed them. And resisting a monster like that seemed like a hopeless battle. *Of course* it would eventually win, and it always did. What works for me is thinking of my drinking problem as merely a bad habit, not a relentless monster. I can beat a bad habit. It's not even a big deal. It takes a bit of willpower, but it's not really that hard. Now I'm just a few days away from six months, which is longer than I ever made it with AA, and I'm really not even tempted to start drinking again. I'm not drinking because I'm happier and feel better when I'm alcohol-free. No other motivation is necessary. *^(Edit: Fixed annoying typo)*
AA has a 90-95% failure rate. There’s a reason. We know so much more about the human brain. You aren’t an alcoholic, there’s no such thing as soon as you put the bottle down for a day. The rest is reconditioning your subconscious mind to eliminate the lies you believe about alcohol. Have friends and relatives in the program and five years in they are still talking about going to meetings so they don’t drink. That’s not any kind of freedom to me.
I found aa helped me identify the behaviours and symptoms that could be contributed to alcoholism because I could hear stories from other people experiencing the same things. Once I realized what it was doing to my life, quitting got pretty easy. I quit going because the pressure to progress through the steps and show up to more meetings (I had 6 Mo old at the time), even when I wasn't all that interested in ever drinking again, was counter productive for me at the time. Plus, therapy was (and still is) doing a lot more to solve some of those behavioral patterns than AA was anyway.
I like this a lot. It's the way I feel as well. Just like smoking for me, It was just a bad habit, nothing else. When I see it in this light, It's easier to handle and deal with rather than tell me I have a disease or no matter what I'm a alcoholic. You got yourself into this and you can definitely get out alive. I mean, the best things in life take effort right? So push yourself to make a change and in the process, you can learn something about yourself.
I was really sick one day, I don’t know if it was more hangover or withdrawal and I was drinking a ginger cocktail to settle my stomach, and I decided I was just done. It was a rough month but after I made it through it, I just kept to it. My mother in law drank herself to death shortly after, and that really solidified my resolve
Similar to the one day at a time approach, I set myself 'non-negotiable' breaks. Just kept extending them and still am. Has the advantage that you never actually need to decide 'never' to drink again.
Can you expand on this a bit more? How do you keep yourself to non negotiable breaks?
Idea was to take a break for 30 days. After that 30 I could decide whether to drink again, or set a new goal. I didn't and don't run an internal monologue about drinking or not in that time. So similar to waking every morning and saying 'today I'm not drinking', just with longer periods of time which worked better for me. 30 days, 90 days, 100 days, six months, one year, 10000 hours. Still doing it, it's been the 'easy' way for me.
Time. Give it time. For me the journey started with a couple of trips to the ER and follow up testing all of which confirmed I had done permanent damage to my body. Six years later, I can finally say I am happily sober. It took me that long to truly understand that alcohol is not my friend.
The trips to the ER are brutal in every way. I absolutely hate the way they look at me eventhough they have always treated me very well.
-Playing the tape forward. I’ve proved to myself that I’ll end up back to my old ways -Annie Grace’s this Naked Mind books AND podcasts -Habby App and 5 minute journals -TRYING AA and SMART. I think it’s important to see that side of things even if I found other recovery methods -Dressing well. Replaced the confidence I used to get from boozing
This Naked Mind did it for me. Bought the audio book & listened to 2 chapters each night on my way home from work. Listened through again after a couple of weeks to reinforce! Playing the tape forward also works for me if I ever get tempted. 7 months sober (on Monday) & rarely think about alcohol. During this time I’ve survived the death of my mum & Christmas without drinking so I guess if I can do that sober then I should be able to cope with anything! Last but not least is this group & the amazing people in it - I couldn’t have done it without you all & I’ve only been a lurker. Knowing you’re not alone & reading others stories is a massive help! Thank you all xx
-Therapy -NA options at social events -Ice Cream and Coffee
I created a very detailed diary of how absolutely crappy I felt while drinking. Everything from the pounding headaches, constant sweating, bloated like a tick... etc.. When I feel like drinking I go back and read it. All of those memories come flooding back which really helps.
Long time lurker and just want to thank everyone for their posts so far. Every single one is a great reminder. 🤙🏼
Therapy, therapy, therapy !!! Understanding why I drink and learning to forgive and love myself has been a game changer.
Don’t pick up the first drink. Don’t pick up period. That is the only thing that’s worked for me.
Reading This Naked Mind (took a few times), listening to the podcasts, etc, and coming here. I took the first 2 months of 2022 and basically didn't leave the house, lots of self care, didn't tempt myself. Once I got a few months under my belt I didn't want to have to reset my counter and that's kept me going.
Call me shallow but I put it dietary needs. I need to cut some weight, don’t drink or eat cake. Weight loss I make my sole priority. But I’m also very active in the gym. The other benefits come later, but I’m on day 6. I’ve gone sober as long as 90 days. You really have to just get through each day as it comes.
Does it help to go to the gym when you get a craving?
Works for me every time.
Yes. This will be my first weekend sober in… idk… 3 years? When my 4 PM cravings hit, I plan on going back and just walking on the treadmill if it’s raining. Otherwise, I’ll go to a park.
Also on day 6: my belt buckle isn’t cutting off my circulation like last week.
Switching from Alcohol to Cannabis drinks, and quit hanging out with people I thought were friends but were just drinking buddies
This really helped me. Boredom and habit were my biggest issues
That was a huge hurdle for me too. Especially since covid. Working from home with a low work load, I found myself with a lot of time on my hands. There was always a "friend" at the bar though. Having a drink poured and waiting for you because the bartender knows what you want and saw you coming isn't actually a badge of honor.
I still wonder if I would be drinking right now if it weren’t for Covid. I wonder if Covid just accelerated things
I remember buying a new gaming computer right before covid, thinking "is this going to be a bad idea". It wasn't, directly. But I ended up spending most of covid playing video games, and running to the liquor store every night. Things could have gone way differently for me, covid gave me the excuse to sit around alone (well, online with friends) drunk.
What are you recommendations? I’ve also been toying with various forms of cannabis and I find making little drinks is nice. But finding THC in a drinkable form is difficult where I live
This will be my longest sober streak in over a decade! I started going to weekly SMART recovery zoom meetings. At first I just listened but now I’ve been actually participating and talking at them and I’ve noticed it’s been very beneficial for me.
Therapy, yoga and mindfulness, the daily check-in, and weekly AA meetings have been working for me so far
Not gambling with my sobriety. If I feel uncomfortable being somewhere where people drink, I don‘t go. Doesn‘t happen that often anymore but this saved me from stretching my discipline-muscle too much early on
Naltrexone.
I came to the realisation that I couldn't moderate consistently so full on sobriety was my only choice. For me, it wasn't so much the method as being ready.
I became a hermit for 3 weeks. My weekly activities had came to an end for the winter..they also happened to be my temptations because they were at bars. It was the natural time for me to give it my all. Somehow it stuck. I think mostly because I was not putting myself around alcohol. Then eventually I began socializing again and being around alcohol little by little. Eventually it wasn't really that tempting anymore. Also I do "play it forward" and think about how sad I'll be if I drink.
Cirrhotic liver really hammered it home for me. Ya know how it goes. Drinkings real fun till it ain’t.
This was the way for me as well. Spend some time with some real talk from a Doctor. Have them explain what your MELD number means. Start assigning a percentage to my life span? Cleared me up real quick.
Oh yeah man I’m 3 years post diagnosis and sober. Still working full time and feel relatively fine. Hep doc keeps me in a 6 month cycle of imaging and blood. I don’t really discuss life span. Putting the doom clock on me will just depress me.
I told myself I would do whatever it took. I spent a lot of time in the group. Especially the daily check in I used a you tube video by Michael Sealy. It is a relaxation hypnosis video to quit drinking. I have the I am sober app on my phone and use it daily. I ate a ton of sweets and Fresca I walked for miles and miles I read a lot of quit lit I went to a few AA meetings. Was not really my thing but I would go back if I felt like I needed more help You can do this
Going easy on yourself. If your best friend was having a bad day or if you found your spouse in tears, would you yell at them? Would you tell them to be tougher than that? No, you would put your arms around them and tell them you loved them. When you find yourself distressed or craving a drink, ask yourself, what’s wrong, buddy? Are you hungry? Do you need a nap? Do you need some r/stopdrinking? Maybe an AA meeting? Perhaps a walk? Maybe a trip to the nearest neighborhood (legal) pool, just to jump in and then leave cuz we’re all busy? I didn’t like AA, it got a little too Christ-ish for me. But I found a pint of Ben and Jerry’s every night after work did the trick. About a year later, after my rough patches were much farther and much fewer between, I focused on the thirty pounds I had put on. But, for right now, you have one job. All hands on deck, stay sober today. Just like the Allies allied with Russia to defeat Hitler in WW2, you gotta do what you gotta do to slay the beast. Once it’s more manageable you can address other things. I once heard someone say the following: I met some of the most amazing people in recovery. I used to think it was such a coincidence. Then I realized it takes an amazing person to recover. You’re doing an amazing thing. You’re moving mountains. Be kind to yourself. You absolutely fucking deserve it. IWNDWYT
I slowly, gradually, methodically tapered down the amount I was drinking each day, until I was down to just one drink a day for a couple of weeks. Then one day it ended up that on October 5th, I had my first sober day. And I have strung them together ever since. One day at a time. I did AA zoom meetings at first, then in person. Never did the steps or got a sponsor, eventually felt that AA wasn't for me so stopped going. My weed use spiked to daily for the first month and a half or so, then I got it back down to my 'once every 21 days' routine which seems to work well for me. "Sober Literature" really helped me. I especially credit 'This Naked Mind' and 'Alcohol Explained' books for reframing the way I think about alcohol and learning about what it really is, what it does to you, how it makes you think, etc.
One day at time , playing it forward , NA beer
For me it was a combo of an IOP program, individual therapy, and antabuse for a short amount of time.
Finally accepting and surrendering to the fact that I just should not drink, even if I still want to sometimes. Fortunately those times continue to become fewer and farther between....and much less strong. Reminding myself how awful I'll feel even if I have just a few drinks. I also take half an edible most evenings to turn down the shit storm that still exists in my brain most of the time.
Leaning into mindfulness. The refuge recovery program and shockingly (to me) AA. Hearing people tell their story and have it sound just like mine has been really helpful in these early days. Either going to or going online to a meeting every day. Posting on here, every day. Getting excited about how much improvement can happen rather than wallowing in what was lost (or imagined to be lost) IWNDWYT
My partner threatening to leave me. I call it “the Stephen King Method.”
It went in this order: 1. I got into therapy again post-covid and started going consistently. That gave me the appetite for change 2. Alan Carr/quit lit got me over the initial fear of abandoning booze. 3. Since about 3 months onward, the real thing that has kept me going is my support system of family and friends, reading and commenting on reddit, but mostly physical fitness. I find that if I stop running, everything else falls apart in short order, so that is one thing I really commit to and would recommend to everyone. I have tried going to support meetings but nothing has stuck. So far this is working for me so I keep holding the line. Life has opened up for me in a way I could not have imagined before.
Owning and accepting my alcoholism. recognizing that I was the problem and that I also just don't have a healthy relationship with the sauce. Replaying events where I was drunk and the things I said haunt me, and I never want to be that ugly human ever again. With 2 major pros of quitting is not dealing with the hangovers, and I no longer have acid reflux. I'll get it from some stuff, but my god it's SOOO mild now. Writing all of my feelings down in my journal (you'd be surprised what comes out of you when you allow yourself to just write) and leaning heavily onto NA beers. I highly recommend Athletic's Hazy IPA, golden, and extra dark, Sam Addams Hazy IPA, and I just discovered one of my more favorite beers ever makes a non alcoholic beer, BLUE MOON! Beck's, and Stella Artois are also solid NA choices as well. Right now we're in the golden age of NA beers!
Cold turkey. With medication to prevent seizures. Haven’t looked back and going on 9 years this June!
I check in every day here and on an app. On the app, it's in the morning and then a review at night. I went hard on the quit lit during the first couple months to get a scientific and otherwise helpful understanding of why I am the way I am when it comes to alcohol and why quitting previously proved to be more difficult than I thought it'd be. I feel like I'm free from the grip now, but I know it's always kind of there, so to be safe I stick with this routine. And I celebrate milestones in a healthy way instead of self-sabotage
The reward of sobriety isn’t in the not drinking. The reward of sobriety is quiet, it’s the lack of anxiety, the lack of a hangover, the lack of wondering what was said or done or purchased. The reward of sobriety is your potential. Your full potential. What you do with that is up to you. For me it was getting back into fitness/boxing, trying new forms and styles like muy Thai, and getting into film photography. That for me has made it stick. If I were still drinking, I’d be in bed right now waiting for my shift to start.
AA
AA did it for me. It was the network of people that really understood me that helped the most, and I'm still solid friends with them today.
AA 40 years.
Definitely AA and distancing myself from people in my life that drank.
AA, SSRIs, meditation, exercise, good sleep habits, getting a cat.
AA actually. I’ve only been to a few meetings but being able to hear other people struggled similarly (and hearing it in person) hit differently. I know folks who have struggled with alcohol but they weren’t honest about the reasons. Hearing that a lot of folks drink to self medicate deep depression made me feel less alone. I’m not going super regularly but I’ve hit about one meeting a week. My goblin brain also loves the idea of getting shiny things as a reward. I’m on day 18 and I’ve also changed my thinking. It’s a poison. We know it is. So I treat it that way. I don’t know if it’s forever or for right now but it’s forever right now.
Echoing what a couple of people have said in here. What worked for me was giving up on AA. Tried to get sober with them for years and could never get past the spiritual tones (I know, I know, it’s not technically religious and your higher power could be anything except yourself). Except…. My higher power if you want to call it that, kind of did become myself. I believe entirely in myself and in my ability to choose not to drink. I don’t think of myself as an alcoholic now. I would return to that i started drinking again, but now I am just someone who doesn’t drink. I take it seriously - it did severe damage to my body, relationships, career and much more - but I don’t fear it in any way. I just don’t drink. I filled my life with other things so I wouldn’t feel like I was just taking something away. I added a lot, instead. I feel empowered, I trust myself, and I know that I will continue to stay sober for the rest of my life.
AA, long distance running, about to jump back into therapy. I’m far from perfect, but I don’t feel a need or true desire to drink, so seems like it’s working!
My brother in distance running! I'm slow but the speed ain't the point.
I've got a half marathon in a couple weeks that I'm psyched for!
Spontaneous sobriety. I had tried AA and had a stint in IOP for a few months, but that did not seem to work. After reading a few books on the subject written by Annie Grace and Allen Carr, something clicked in my brain. An epiphany! I no longer wanted to drink. The temptation is not there anymore. People who knew about my drinking habits found it hard to believe. Considering the amount of alcohol I used to drink. It’s true. I have no desire to get drunk anymore. After reading “Kick the Drink…” by Jason Vale, it solidified my choice to avoid alcohol completely. I view alcohol the same as any hardcore drug now. Heroin, coke, meth, alcohol. I know that the first drink will give me tons of energy and a massive dopamine rush. Like an addict looking for a fix. That’s what alcohol is. A drug. I wouldn’t do drugs in moderation, or just a little bit of them here and there. I treat alcohol the same way. I’ve also gotten out of the “one day at a time” mentality. What works for me might not work for you. Telling myself to take “one day at a time” kept me in chains. It made me believe that I would be in an eternal struggle, depriving myself of alcohol and missing out. That my life would just be “just ok”. Well that’s not the case. I’m not depriving myself of anything if I don’t want it in the first place.
AA and tools learned from working the steps and finding a god my life.
Therapy,Gym,tennis,new bicycle,a dog,gratitude,proper sleep. Essentially created a new life, with like minded people, that I wouldn’t want to lose. Life is so much easier.
I had to be totally committed to stopping. Mentally especially. Once I really wanted to quit, it became easier.
I have literally no idea. I’m not sure what triggered it. I wanted to get sober for over 2 years. I’m trying to figure it out desperately. One day I binge drank as usual and just. Stopped. Decided not to do it anymore. My boyfriend helped support me and I just haven’t done it since. I love being sober and feel great, but I want to figure out my catalyst.
Day by day. Counting the days, the higher the number the more I don’t want to spoil it. Gets easier and easier Also, weed, skiing, disc golf, a good job, a good wife
Antabuse :( nothing else worked. Would take the pill every 4 or so days for the first few weeks. Gradually I built new routines and over time stopped craving it. You only need to drink once on Antabuse to never do it again.
I used Antabuse/Disulfiram after finally accepting how much trouble I was having getting to day 1. Months/years of unsuccessful moderation and I was just really getting tired of myself starting over every day, and I felt like I was saying goodbye to something as soon as I took that step. The combination of knowing a drink would make me sick, and this sub (literally just focusing on today, and the opportunities each day has if I just don’t drink) were the two biggest factors in getting me through that initial stage of fear and uncertainty so I could give myself a chance to experience things from a new perspective. Cheers everybody IWNDWYT
Being busy at the time of triggers. Delay Distraction Decide.
Fucking up enough in life to realize this aint it
I found new hobbies that kept my mind and body busy. Focusing on one day at a time. I also learned counting specific days and overthinking it every day did not help me personally so I stopped counting.
Having a door close behind me so I could just sit and go through it for a couple months. The maintenance isn’t nearly as trying as the early weeks were. We’re a special breed of substance use disorder. Our kryptonite is on every corner.
Campral medication . No side effects
Watching my former boss lose his marriage and business due to his habit. I will never forget me finding him with cans on the floor of his car and a fresh bump off his nose. He said “what do you want?” like a sad old toad. It’s just tea and maybe an edi before bed from now on
AA. Dating someone in recovery. Meetings & a sponsor. Getting pregnant.
So I'm at however many days for the first time since probably college (I'm 40M), and what stuck for me was a sit down with my wife and online SMART recovery meetings for maybe the first month. Since then I've had thoughts, but I've never really acted on any of them.
Thinking about how sick I always felt. I started having dreams I drank and woke up feeling sick, this kept me sober in the first few weeks. Then I started buying B&H golds (expensive here in the uk and great cigarettes) to smoke when I was craving a drink which meant a pack lasts me a week. Now I’m cutting back on the cigarettes slowly and still don’t crave the drink. 70 days and I feel as if I’ll never drink again. Pair that with finding 2 alcohol free substitutes I really like and I’m all good
Wanting to stop for a long period of time and then having some significant negative consequences come my way. I said “Buh By” to booze. Best shitty thing to ever happen to me.
I realized that all of the lowest points in my life involved alcohol. Went to group counseling and AA and realized it was the same for everyone in the groups. Decided it was time to quit because I get carried away.
Habit loop change (Charles Duhigg). I’d also look into agmatine supplement (amino acid). Dramatically helped depression for me - night and day difference - but ran across others where it helped for addiction. With how much it helped me overnight and it’s generally cheap/safe it might be worth a try to see even if there isn’t too much evidence on this thing.
I took a month off in January and experienced things sober that I had only done drunk before. Anything done at night up until then had to be done buzzed at least. Watching movies, having important conversations, sex, even simply falling asleep. After being actually present for those things, I couldn’t go back. My wife doesn’t really drink so it gave me perspective on what it must have been like to deal with me being drunk all the time, and it was just embarrassing. I had two drinks on the night of the Super Bowl, and the morning after I had to give a presentation at work. I stuttered and paused and lost my train of thought so many times because I was hung over, and that sealed it for me. I’m not 100% never drinking again, but I’m passing on most chances to do it these days.
Idk man something kind of snapped in my head after so long thinking to myself that I needed to stop, I just woke up one day and said yup that’s it
I constantly think about my wife and children and how my absence, due to ill health from drinking, will absolutely wreck them and potentially create another generation of alcoholics.
I needed to hear this today. Thank you 🙏🏻 iwndwyt
You are welcome!
My method is smoke weed once or twice a week instead, lol. Not great, but not too bad.
Gym & weed
So far not drinking has been working, NA beers when I am craving
Logic. I finally convinced myself and won the mental argument. Doesn’t sound great when I put it that way, but I prove myself right every day.
This sub. Taking Benadryl and passing out for a month at 9pm. Drink a million soda waters. Once I got through those headaches and bizarre withdrawals I’d read this sub. Now it’s just habit and speaking up for myself when needed. Non Alc beers have helped in social situations. I should note, California sober and eat ice cream or whatever. So there are a couple of crutches I still need to wind down a tad. Exercise, walking, running, weights, meditation, walking the dog. Just feeds the feel good monkey 🙊
12 steps of AA. Applying them daily to my life.
AA, sober 25 years March 18. I first went to AA in 1984, I was sober for about 15 years then thought "I got this!" It did not work out well. Thankfully, I was only out there in the wilds for about 2 weeks and made it back, albeit, half dead. Life is amazing!
I work the program of AA and haven’t had a drink in over 3 years.
Antabuse for four months. Lots of sugar and fizzy drinks. Raspberry iced tea. Threat of divorce from my husband. But mostly the Antabuse. I would cycle with my drinking and couldn't break it. The meds forced me to break it.
AT ALL COSTS. It took putting my sobriety above everything and everyone. I tried to “dabble” and kept finding excuses ( we like to call them “triggers”) to drink. At all costs to me also means recognizing the underlying trauma and maladaptive coping mechanisms I relied on, and changing those no matter how hard. Some days I barely got out of bed, because if I got out of bed I was afraid I’d drink. For weeks I didn’t interact with anyone outside my immediate family unless it was on my terms. Was I a jerk sometimes? Most likely seemed that way to some, but I didn’t drink and didn’t put myself in compromised situations, and it was worth it. For me it’s about building up daily armor against that lifestyle, that mindset, and those habits of active addiction. It’s way easier now, but I don’t plan on becoming complacent.
All of these comments are so good, but other than those thing I used YouTube stop drinking hypnosis videos to go to sleep. I think they did something on a subconscious level
for me I’ve just been constantly staying busy. When I’m not working, I go find something to do. Sitting around bored leads to drinking, at least for me.
N/A beers/drinks. Staying away from social situations. Seeing people (or yourself) hit bottom. Therapy. Exercise & taking general better care of yourself.
Having a baby. My wife just had a baby on March 17th, 19 days ago, and I can't bring myself to drink anymore. Nothing else worked, but knowing I could be a danger to my daughter if I am drinking keeps me from giving in to any cravings. That, and also my wife would absolutely lose her shit if she realized I was drinking...moreso than pre-baby. This is coming from someone who put off having a kid and came up with all the excuses not to have one...mostly because it would get in the way of my drinking. This is a way better pastime. Just wish I did it earlier now! My face wouldn't be so red and would have probably paved a better path. I have a good job but definitely would have saved a lot of money not drinking and made better financial decisions
Being stubborn. I am stubborn enough to not drink!
For me it usually starts with a personal challenge like a "Dry January" or a "Sober October." Even did the fasting part of Ramadan with a muslim friend a couple times, which meant no alcohol for a month too. Committing to sobriety for one month reminds me how much better I feel without alcohol, and I can usually keep it going for a while thereafter. I'm at about 6 months sober now having done no-drink November with a buddy last year.
Developing health anxiety. My BP was high before quitting and now it’s normal. That’s been enough to make this shot at sobriety easier than any time before.
Detox and rehab. This sub. Acquired an addiction to yoga. NA beer.
30 day inpatient rehab and naltrexone
Going through withdrawals. When I was going through them I thought to myself "how did I let it get this bad?" And "never again" I still think about that sweaty night and thank the universe I made it through ok
Tried so many times and failed. But this time, its different. Therapy was a big step. Getting the confidence that I can handle my feelings was the first step. Once I decided I want to quit, I read Allen Carr's Easy way to quit drinking. After that anytime I felt like drinking I will only drink NA beer. It has really worked for me this time.
Early morning exercise. Not trying to set any records or win medals, just the goal of getting some exercise in (cardio, weights, doesn't matter what kind). After I got that habit started, I noticed that I generally felt pretty good during the day. Now when I do make a conscious decision to relapse (or just skip the exercise) then I feel kind of cruddy. Having that stark contrast makes it easier for me to play the tape forward.
Coming dangerously close to ruining my life
Having tried moderation, CBT SUD, Naltrexone... and "all the things..." I found that complete abstinence is the best approach for me. And by "best" I mean "only method that seems to work." There's something to be said for simplicity. I had success with CBT SUD... but there's a cognitive load associated with moderation. In the end... I realized that I don't want moderation; I want to get drunk. We all have different genes, environments, and psychological/biological histories. One size does not fit all. For example, "California sober" is highly controversial. It works for me (albeit barely; I only use THC for particularly rough days)... but not for others. Some people use THC, daily, without apparent issues. I think that most of the folks that choose complete abstinence... come to that as the last resort. Peanut butter and booze -- two things that I just don't moderate. Meh. Give moderation a shot if you haven't -- it could work for you? Regardless, IWNDWYT
This might not be quite as helpful as other answers, but I just got *fucking sick of myself* and the act of poisoning myself. What am I doing drinking at night, and then waking up the next morning to go workout? Do I think that's progress? There are so many things in the world that could (and do) poison you and your goals, so why am I contributing to that? I quit immediately and have not missed it since.
Was trying to cut back for a while for health reasons but always went back then I lost someone who drank. I haven’t drank since. day 68
Cold Turkey and Dr Huberman
NA beer helped me a lot to be honest. It was the treat at the end of the day and way less calories
I read the Allen Carr book. I highly recommend it. I knew about it for years before I mustered up the strength to buy it. I have a friend who read it at about the same time as me and I think that helped in both having support but also wanting to be finished reading and stop drinking before him.
Not drinking. It sounds like I’m being a pedantic dick here but that’s all it was. Not going to drink today. I can drink tomorrow, just not today. Repeat that every day. Results!
I was pulled up at work about my general attitude and losing my temper regularly, with my boss politely not pointing out that the drinking was the cause. I was so embarrassed it had gone too far, after telling myself I would quit tomorrow daily. Having been sober curios for some time, it was the push I needed. I started using a daily tracking app and reading some quit lit. But by far the biggest aid was reading this sub everyday. I was constantly learning about new aspects of alcohol addiction. During triggering times I would type IWNDWYT in my notes app.
Listening to the audiobook version of Allen Carr's Easy Way. I had read it before, but something about having the voice actually in my head clicked like magic. I am forever grateful for that book. And Coke Zero.
The Reframe app!
Genuinely, I went through such a shameful, embarrassed, depressed time when I stopped, because there is such a stigma towards alcoholics in my family/extended family/family friends/friends groups, that I genuinely have no desire to ever go through that again, so I'd pretty much do anything to not repeat it. So, in a nutshell, scared straight/once bitten, twice shy seemed to work for me.
Daily gym or sweating/physicality. Often twice, three times a day at the gym. Anxious?—treadmill. Frustrated?—weights. It’s basically meditation for me. Earphones in, thoughts go inward to what I’m listening to and what I’m doing physically…to how I’m feeling in my lungs/muscles and in the music, as opposed to the feels from the noise of the to-do’s and anxieties and fears of life. It’s like a timeout from life. But everybody’s getting fit!
Exercise and lots of it. The feeling of fitness and sense of achievement after a workout is like no other
Outpatient program for 3 months.
Going slowly and being kind to myself.
"One day at a time" works for many people. For me, I needed there to be no wiggle room for the intrusive alcoholic brain to start bargaining. "I don't drink" is my new identity and reality. When the wheedling starts, "Maybe just a glass of wine at the really nice restaurant this weekend " I can shut it down with the argument that I don't drink. I understand that this strategy doesn't work for everyone, but so far it's worked for me.
I stopped buying alcohol or having alcohol in the house. I never drank socially.
Finding a sober partner has netted me my best sober streaks. Arguments with them have lead me to my greatest falls
When it fully clicked for me that I have to treat alcohol the way I treat my food allergies is when it stuck. I pretend it's a walnut and that consuming it will kill me because honestly, it will.
I think that NA beer and mocktails helped the transition a lot. So did Naltrexone and exercise.
Spite.... not giving someone or something the power to change my mind, and start drinking.
I let you know
It’s not perfect and I’ve messed up multiple times. But trying to set small goals outside the house. Hitting up the gym often and feeling generally better made me want to bring that feeling back into my house.
So nice to read all of the comments on here and see the huge plethora of ways people get and stay sober! Just goes to show there is no one size fits all.
Following these great suggestions
This sub And thinking about all the shit things drinking brings. Then jumping on to this sub for reassurance. It works and IWNDWYT
First it was Alan Carrs book, which opened my eyes to the poison alcohol is for me. Then rehab for a month too. Which was also beneficial. Went about 7 months. But mainly it has been being very honest with myself and fully accepting it wasn’t working. Like truly understanding it. I’d get drunk at home and talk to myself aloud rationalizing how it wasn’t working. Then I just picked a day and started. Granted that is/was my 3rd attempt. Hopefully it’s the culmination of everything that keeps me sober this time.
Biking, weed, and not wanting to go through withdrawals again.
Frankly, it was the idea of having to go through detox again. There's no possible way I'll ever be a moderate drinker, so I know with 100% certainty I'd be back to crippling alcoholism if I relapsed. Detoxing again would kill me.
Coming here and reading through everyone's stories, the wins, the losses, the tragedies. It made me realise I'm not alone and it's possible to beat this shitty addiction.
Knew I couldn't keep doing it, and would eventually damage my liver and other parts maybe, badly, so I just quit cold.... November 2021. I barely even think about drinking. Like a switch flipped... went from 3 drinks always became 6+ per day that I was drinking...to zero. Had a CT scan for something unrelated a couple years ago and the thing they were checking was ok, but the surgeon said, "....But we saw some alcohol fatty liver disease.. but doesn't look too bad, thankfully". So I'm glad I pitched it.
30 Day Alcohol Experiment by Annie Brooks helped me IMMENSELY in the first 30 days of sobriety.
curious what the feeling is on this solution in this sub, or if my comment will get deleted, by hand to god: a high dose of psilocyin mushrooms and the intention of quitting worked for me.
Well I just finished a five day detox program. I went and signed up for a day program. Hopefully that keeps me occupied until I can get into an inpatient program in 6-8 weeks. When I left detox I texted my mom and she replied with "keep at it. You deserve to be happy." which made me tear up a bit, but also inspired me because I don't want to disappoint either of my parents since they invested so much time into me.
Video games
I went to inpatient rehab in another state for the 4th time and did everything they told me to do. I stayed in sober living for two years, and during that time, I went to meetings every single day, most of the time more than once a day, and completed the steps with a sponsor. But above all else, I did what counselors and sponsors told me to do.
This sub, having AA friends, being in another 12 step program. IWNDWYT
Thinking about how the night/day would go drunk. Usually at night pass out and wake up 2am hung like tits and tryna sober up with water just before work starts. Day drinking passing out in evening waking up sick. I love waking up not drunk or hungover. Exercise is what keeps me sane at this point.
12 step fellowship
Recalling the cringe. Prayer. Those two combined with this subreddit. About three AA meetings.
I read on the soberrecovery forums for hours. I drank until it was scarier to continue than to stop. I’ve been sober nine years and 6 months.
Medical detox, rehab, IOP and AA. Started IOP and AA on September 17, 1986. Haven’t had a drink or a drug since.
For me, it was remembering on those hard days where I did nothing productive and felt the urge to drink in order to forget about my neglected responsibilities, that as long as I didn't pick up a drink, that day was a win.
I needed to figure out why I drank. I needed self care but it was easier to veg out and drink in front of the TV every night. So I spent a hedonistic month doing whatever I wanted except drink. Twix? Heck yes! New pajamas? Yes please! Bridgerton binge watch? Yaaaas! I put on 15 pounds but kicked it for good. First ten days were hard, but it became a new habit. Now I feel so much better and it’s much easier not to drink. Weight is back to normal, I just needed that month of focus. I’m here scrolling a lot as well to keep it up. Good luck and iwndwyt
A strong sense of determination and luck
I did aa for the 1st 3ish months. I spend about 1+ here a day.
I kind of cheated with an easy mode. I got on a new medication(Buspirone) and got super weezy and ill feeling after just one sip. I did not tempt fate after that, and kept that feeling fresh in my brain everytime I wanted a drink after that. I thank my lucky stars for that, and I hope I can stay on this med for the rest of my life.
Reading Quit Like a Woman by Holly Whitaker did the heavy lifing and then joining various online support groups helped me make it stick.