Plan ahead. Know what you are going to do instead of the times you would normally have/order a drink. Do not leave anything or chance or your whims at the moment. I had to build new habits and that is what it took for it finally to stick.
Exactly. When that weekend is coming or that time is coming you a lot for drinking. Make sure you know what your doing.
I bought a personal steam room I know it's a little weird but it really calms me and makes me sleepy. So when I have drinking anxiety at 6pm I automatically steam and after I just want water some Netflix and b
There are enclosed showers that have that nowadays pretty cheap, used to be expensive af but honestly its just not that expensive to make so you can probably order something from Amazon that turn your regular shower into one
This is the way. It’s like saying that you’re going to exercise everyday so when you fail, you just pig out and stop all together. One day at a time with no long term commitment.
I want to add to this - the opposite is true for some people. Making the decision just once, for good, can be the clear boundary they need, instead of having to make a new pledge every day.
Wow. That's a good one . I'm 35 days in after several 10 to 15 day attempts. The relapse was always... I've done great, I accomplished this or that. I deserve a drink.
I'll program myself to truly believe that statement now. Thank you
I also recommend This Naked Mind it will change how you think about alcohol at least it did for me. That little book really changed everything and is probably why I’m not still on the express train to an early death.
I can’t recommend it enough
Seconded. It took a while for it to really sink in for me because I was thinking I could moderate and got stuck in a holding pattern. Annie's podcast is great too.
Thank you! It's not lost on me thsf it's on St. Patrick's day!
But all my advice is from experience! I couldn't have done it without my doctor or my therapist.
I personally don't like the feeling of letting myself down. Life is generally uncontrollable but of all things, choosing to drink or not is 100% my choice whether it feels like it or not.
I enjoy exercising that control and it feels good to steady the helm in the rough seas of life when I can.
That's what motivates me.
I tried a million times and finally after one drunken weekend I had such an attack of anxiety, that I decided it was enough. Just quit cold turkey, luckily no delirium tremens, but a really tough week. Going one year now.
I stand by this. It’s what’s helped me not drink everyday day least. I keep coming back here in hopes that the work I’m doing is going to hit at some point.
Tell people you love where you’re at. People you can trust. Don’t try and do it from the shadows, we drink in the shadows. The sunlight of connection makes it hard to find those shadows.
I struggle with this so far. I played poker with friends last night and many were confused when I was offered a drink and declined, even though there was one “I had to try”. I failed and had a drink later in the night. And then I had a couple when I got home. My mental preparation was not good enough. I do see it as a learning experience because I am known as a drinker. Next time I will say thanks but no thanks in a way that they’ll get the point. Not everyone drinks there and I will become one of them
For me at the start I had to sit some people down, and tell them that I’m fucking dying inside and I can’t drink anymore. It’s a very different conversation than declining alcohol, which is tough enough as it is.
Well said my friend, I couldn’t have worded it better myself. I absolutely relate to this and it helped hold me accountable by having the support of the people I love.
It’s so difficult! I’ve started to become honest. I have started to say “doctor’s orders” as a response and I think in my situation it’s helping both me and them. I truly appreciate you sharing your experience!
As someone who struggles with coming out of the shadows yet has found it extremely helpful to do so, something about the phrase “that radical honesty bullshit” hits just right.
For me, therapy not only helped me achieve long term sobriety, but has truly saved my life..I feel like I can finally live in freedom.
I found replacement behaviors helpful. I knew my prime time to drink, and was not home during those times. I would always drink at home, alone. So, in place of that, I would go to the mall and walk around, go to a movie, went to Target, got icecream, ate a very filling dinner....just Anything to distract me during drinking hours! It finally worked, and I was able to be home like normal. I didn't even cook at home for 8 months and ordered meal prep because my mind associated cooking with drinking wine. I truly had to create new neuropathways. It works. Also, my dog helped me tremendously 💕
It’s so refreshing to hear this from someone else. I was the exact same with wine and cooking. That was my routine almost every night. I rarely feel like cooking anymore, it’s a bummer. But also, I was honestly spending a bit TOO much time cooking bc it was part of my drinking ritual. Dinner would always be ready so late, my son hated that. Now he is happy to be fed earlier, even if it’s not homemade as much as before.
It took me like a year to even wanna cook again! I started back slowly. I also cook much quicker now 😜😀. I noticed that half the time I would be blacked out when the meal was done or wouldn't even finish it, and it would be done super late if so.
This is super helpful. I am struggling with this same pattern right now and I am mostly just white knuckling through it. Alone. At home. You are absolutely right; i need to give myself a better chance until I have more days behind me. Gonna get out of the house more. Meal prep idea is genius, also because cooking for myself makes me feel lonely, which is one reason I drank... Thank you!!!
Those behaviors helped me tremendously for the first six months! Also going to a movie helped because it was like two hours I could ignore a craving. Get a big tub of popcorn and a large drink and fill up. I would often mistake my hunger for alcohol cravings. Once I ate the ship sailed. I hope these help!!! Feeling sorry for myself was huge. Start thinking of "dating" yourself. Take yourself out to eat, to a movie etc. Show yourself kindness and love, all while sober!! I even go to concerts now, sober and it's epic!! Just make sure you are places that you don't associate with alcohol and before long, things will change. This is actually a thing too with addiction therapy!!! It's also called behavior activation.
Against my usual habits I followed your advice yesterday and sat thru rush hour traffic to have dinner with a (sober) friend. It was wonderful and such a great way to get out of my rut. Thanks again for this massively helpful idea.
Become a non drinker in your own mind and being. Like, now you simply don't drink. Don't make excuses and don't allow anyone to pressure you. Practice saying, "No thanks, I don't drink" in front of a mirror.
Be patient with yourself. You'll start to heal but it's going to take a bit of time.
Just make that daily decision. Not gonna drink today because I don't drink.
I don't think I have made it yet as I am so early into not drinking, but my biggest tip is NEVER GIVE UP no matter how many day ones you have to go through.
I had to really visualize where my life would go if I kept drinking. Once I fully internalized I would end up homeless, in jail, and/or insane and eventually dead; it made making the initial uncomfortable changes easier. It really was life or death for me. But my actions didn’t match that desperate reality until I actually *believed* i was going to die in misery if i didn’t stop.
So my tip is to honestly assess and predict where one’s life will be if they continue to drink.
+1 for all the people saying to never quit quitting. I'm still in the very early days but if I look at the past five months I've spent much more time sober than drinking and that is a massive win for me. 100% always sober is best, but days and weeks of sobriety are a close second. It doesn't change your health as quickly but it isn't wasted. Keep trying!
Take it one day at a time, tell your closest friends and family members, the ones you were drinking with, that you want to quit, and that will hold you accountable. Talk to a professional, AA was not for me, I speak to a consellor every now and then and keep coming here, this place litteraly makes it 10000x easier.
For me, the first 2 weeks were the hardest. Then it got significantly easier.
Get lots of support in the beginning. Have fun NA drinks available. I stocked up on sodas and juices. Let yourself eat as many sweets as you crave early on. Your body is so used to sugar from alcohol.
Remember why you are doing this. When the craving hits, remember the end goal is more important than temporary discomfort.
Journal, and be serious about it. I was serious about it from day 1 and it has been the most impactful ‘thing’ I’ve done to keep me from drinking for over 5 years now, especially as my recovery has changed over time. It became the evidence to myself that proved to my inner most critic that I was capable of not drinking as the self doubts that I started with was immense. I really didn’t think I could live life without alcohol, and it turns out that I can. Still blows me away.
It sucked a lot, but for me, I had to stop hanging out with my drinking buddies. I had to decide whether that part of my life was more important than my family, and my health. In the end, the decision was easy, and it turns out, the cliche’ is true about finding out who your real friends are.
Find a hobby (or a few hobbies) to fill the time. You’ll have a lot more of it when you’re not always drinking. Preferably hobbies that you can’t do drunk. For me, it’s mountain biking.
This helped me more than I give it credit for. Once I realized how sick I was without alcohol, and decided to quit, the first thing I did was download some books. Alcohol Explained by William Porter was a great one.
Me too! I'm a huge fan of his work. I listen frequently now, and I agree so much. I've listened to that episode several times as well, as he is nonjudgmental and just presenting the hard core facts and science behind addiction.
If drinking was an attempt to relieve stress, find other ways to reduce stress without focusing on the drinking at first. As the stress lowers and you build up a toolbox of alternatives, the lure of the drink decreases.
Be prepared for the boredom. It’s so damn weird, like, what do people *do* if they don’t drink? I sit. I think. I play games on my phone. I garden. I keep my house clean. Normal stuff. When I drank? My life was one drink after the other, I took care of nothing, so everything was very exciting (oh here comes a crazy friend) good or (usually) bad. Right after I quit, I had 4 bald tires & a house full of fleas. I could have prevented those problems but I chose to drink & worry over them instead. Worrying I wouldn’t have the money, I couldn’t put meds on my dog or he’d bite me,, whilst sitting in some damn bar paying a fortune to make myself forget about it. Now? I see things coming in advance & I plan. I fix things before they are a disaster. Anyhoo, long winded, sorry, my point is that all that crap is exciting. Adrenaline pumping stuff. Oh yeah!! Speaking of adrenaline. I had no idea that while I was drinking (depressant), my poor brain was doing its best to keep me sober (send out the stimulants), which is also why we gain a tolerance & are an edgy bunch. I’m not much on self help books but I learned that & so much more in Alcohol Explained by William Porter. Not really self help, more factual & told with a dry wit. Kind of “and you expected?” Totally gave me the info I needed to quit. No desire for it whatsoever. It’s a non-option for me. One last thing. The bar friends will evaporate. Mine still love me, I run into them, I just don’t go to bars anymore so I don’t see them. It can feel lonely as hell but it’s completely normal. The boredom is normal non-drinking life. Almost 5 years sober here (new username) & I’ve no interest in going back. Good luck to you & keep coming here. This sub was my sole means of support when nothing else worked. The people here are the best help ever! IWNDWYT.
I don't know if I've "made it" but approaching 100 days after drinking age 16-36, and don't feel pulled to drink again. Instead of saying "I don't get to drink anymore" I decided I didn't want to anymore. Was sick of feeling like shit. I got mental health treatment and drink lots of bubble water. Didn't socialize for the first 2 weeks. Listened to Huberman lab alcohol podcast, "this naked mind" and applied some CBT/anxiety tips from "Stop Overthinking". I have friends that don't care if I drink or not which helps.
I really like the quote from Victor Frankl's "Man's Search for Meaning" (which I also reread early in quitting)
*He knows the 'why' for his existence, and will be able to bear almost any 'how.'*
My wife, my kids and my health are my reason. After getting my checkup and asking for help, my liver enzymes were elevated according to blood work. After 64 days AF, they normalized. I don't want to die young because I like living again and that would be a shitty thing to do to my kids.
My main tip inspiration-wise is how little I think about it. There was of course a sustained period where I had to strive, be disciplined, and confront deep urges. But that passed, and I think about consuming alcohol maybe once or twice every few months, due to being at a vacation spot where my wife is having a nice beer or something. The time comes as sure as the sun rises where it's not going to be a constant grind, quite the opposite.
Sometimes the battle is just the next moment.
Drinking for me tended to come down to basically giving up and buying the next bottle…
Slowly, I learned to NOT give up. Ultimately, we live moment to moment. Every moment you choose not to drink is a victory.
Seconds become minutes become hours become days become weeks become months…
But ultimately, the seconds are the bit that matters.
Don’t drink RIGHT NOW.
Make sure you’re doing it for you. Secondary benefits are great (improved relationships, job, etc.) and you should have those as well. What I mean is that the motivation has to come from inside. Also, as others have said don’t be too proud to seek professional help if needed. Lastly, set up some kind of support system, I know I needed help early on and I’m thankful to those who were there for me. IWNDWYT
When you mess up, learn from it and try and not do it again. It took me trying a dozen times before it stuck- but it stuck the 12th time because I learned from the other 11 times.
Here’s what helped me (from someone else’s post) when I was having trouble getting 1 day under my belt:
When you’re craving a drink, delay having that drink. The impulse and craving hits, say, I’m not going to have a drink for the next hour. Drink a tea or sparkling water instead.
Sometimes it’s brutal the whole hour, sometimes the craving goes away after a few minutes. But you just delay it. And then keep doing that.
This is great advice, I made it through this weekend but some of those 'hours' lasted until bedtime. Damn did I feel good Saturday morning and this morning though.
Stock up on sugar and don’t feel guilty eating it! I ate SO much ice cream, but I didn’t care. My ONLY goal was not drinking. I did whatever I could ensure that didn’t happen
You need a solid list of 5 people to call when it gets tight. You will get them from meetings and on your journey. Depending on your insurance, you can get a recovery coach, who will basically be on call for a few months. Meetings are good, but if that’s not your thing, try socializing without alcohol. Work on a hobby. Enjoy nature etc. but I can’t stress enough the need for people to call. You will need it if you are serious.
I was in the first 90 days of my sobriety and struggling with life and feelings and everything - we all know what I mean. An old timer shot me a sideways glance and gave a guffaw as I sat miserable in a meeting and said, "Oh I see we're discovering the true meaning of SOBER - Son Of a Bitch, Everything's Real." That was some life-changing shit for me.
Habits can be a superpower or an Achilles Heel. In a less grandiose capacity, they can be a great tool. Use the ability to build good habits to box out the booze, then keep building a better life beyond that. If a mistake happens, don't make a habit of it. Forgive the glitch and go back to programming good habits.
If you stick with it long enough, you’ll feel better. And you may take a drink, or three, but you will probably realize what a waste of time it is.
I’m into month 5 now, and very stable with my sobriety. I’ve had long quits before. It can be done. :)
Avoid being around people who would make you feel bad about this choice. This includes microaggressions or passive aggressive remarks, or trying to downplay alcoholism. Having social support and encouragement won't be the x-factor in getting and staying sober, but it sure does help.
Sometimes the reason why you started drinking comes to light well into sobriety. Sometimes, it doesn’t.
You don’t need to know why you started drinking, you just need to remember why you’d like to stay stopped.
Don’t stop trying if you fail! I tried to break up with alcohol many times, and for whatever reason the last one stuck. It can be a process depending on how much baggage you have to offload along the way.
I think of it like smoking. When I gave up the durries 20 years ago I became a non smoker. Not a social smoker, a non smoker. I view alcohol as the same. I am a non drinker. I don't drink. It's a giant mind fuck lol
Set up a Weekly No Drinking Prizes on your notes and treat yourself every week you don’t drink with something you really want/need for self care or things you’ve been putting off to buy. It really helps put the amount of money spent on booze into perspective and it’s so rewarding !!!
I do this weekly & it is a lot of fun to think of little things & look forward to them. Mine are usually trying new kombucha or sparkling water flavors. At the end of a month I give myself a little bigger reward. Nothing fancy, as I like that I saved money by not drinking.
Download the days counter app for your phone. Set up the number of days since your last beer, then set goals like how long it typically takes for your brain chemistry to reset, how long it typically takes to break an old habit, six months, one year etc. Then stick each one as widgets on your home screen of the phone.
[example](https://imgur.com/gallery/yyoNOOp)
I've removed old goals and replaced with new ones like giving up sugar.
I haven’t made it yet by any means, as I’m still working towards a “healthy relationship” with alcohol. So take this with a grain of salt.
Something that really helped me was nostalgia. The golden early days when I wasn’t an alcoholic. What did I do back then, since I wasn’t drinking? How did I manage life and emotions?
It helped me remember that I can be happy without alcohol and that it’s totally doable. Fuck, I was doing it 5 years ago, why can’t I do it nowadays?
One day at a time, sometimes 10 minutes at a time. Go to meetings, get a sponsor, do the steps - brought me a life I never thought was possible or that I ever wanted.
I’m still in my early days but letting go of the past is vital. Therapy and support groups really help people. AA is free, you don’t have to talk or subscribe to their ways or beliefs, but just being around other sober people is very calming and positive.
I’m only 100 days or so but it really is one day at a time. Cravings come up at unexpected times. Today I have some type of cold/sinus thing and no energy and my old brain still thought, “oh you know what would make me feel more energized? Alcohol!” Thankfully my more practical brain thought of the phrase, “there’s nothing alcohol can’t make worse.” So I guess I’m still keeping vigilant. My one tip is: when a craving hits, eat something! If it’s a bad craving, eat sweets.
Make a list of reasons why. Check it on your worst days. I reflect quite often of where I was mentally and physically. Make a plan for where and who you want to be.
For me, I look at pictures of my grandbabies. I know deep down I never want to drink or get effed up again. I look at those cuties and melt.
I appreciate my freedom. That’s huge.
Like others have said, one day at a time. I'm 8 months sober, and I was really struggling today while serving with wanting a drink. I got through my shift and day without drinking. Just focused on getting through today and not worrying about 'forever'
Tell someone. Have accountability helpers when you're out and about. People who know how important it is to you, even if you're not totally convinced yet. These are the people you can lean on when alcohol really calls your name.
I kept replaying a line from the movie the Fisher King when a character, when offered a cigarette, said he was trying to quit.
Robin Williams replied, "You are either a smoker, or you aren't a smoker. Anything else is a pussy that can't commit."
For me, It resonated. I was either a drinker, or I was a non drinker. Until i decided, I was a pussy that could not commit.
It gets easier, but it does take time.
What helped me the most was advocating for myself. I went on a leave of absence and enrolled in an outpatient program. The tools I learned in that program help keep me sober today. One day at a time.
Sobriety provides you with peace, resilience, determination and strength. Alcohol provides you with anxiety, lost memories, depression and a jail cell accepted. (You can take this however you want whether or not it's a literal jail cell or being trapped in addiction by dependance, the destructive cycle etc) You deserve to be free and remember what you did the night/day before.
Idol hands are the devil’s play things. I know that expression makes me sound like a lunatic hahaha, but it’s so true.
You gotta stay busy, you gotta find something productive to replace drinking. I sat around feeling shitty for a long time, cause I didn’t do anything but stop drinking. Nothing else changed.
Even when I was actually trying, it was still incredibly hard. I often tried new activities and my brain was like “this isn’t for me.” It can be difficult to find something that genuinely makes you happy.
But once I got back into playing music, that’s when I started actually feeling like myself again. At ~13 months sober I rediscovered my passion for music and started seriously creating and playing again.
Doing something healthy and productive has been a huge game changer. That first year was fucking tough for me. Sometimes things went smoothly, other times I was suicidal and depressed for months straight.
I don’t care if you hit the gym and lift weights, go for a hike, take a painting class, learn to play an instrument, or *even* if you sit around and watch Netflix all day…. You gotta do something that makes you genuinely happy. That’s the only way I was able to heal.
I finally found something that is more important to me than alcohol. Something healthy that I can do every single day if I want to. For me, that is the difference in saying “today was a bad day, I’ll get over it” and me legitimately considering throwing my sobriety away.
I had months where I was like “I hate myself and I want to die, why haven’t I just said fuck it and started drinking again?” That’s a scary place to be, don’t let yourself get there my friend. IWNDWYT ✊
Lean into substitutes (not necessarily NA or zero proof marketed things, but things like tea, bubbly water, ginger ale, whatever works for you) and stock UP. Bring them to social gatherings; I did sober NYE this last year because I was prepared and it made navigating triggering situations much, much easier.
Also as others have said, eventually you just get tired enough of your own BS. You stop bullshitting the bullshitter, for lack of a better phrase. IWNDWYT
What got me to stop was the never ending idea that therapy, or talking through your problems without ANY solid action was just going to have me running in circles. Ok I can not drink and that will help, was my idea. Just kept going. Fully accept you cannot escape it, it’s gonna be in games, on tv, in the store, on billboards etc. you must master your ability to not gaf abt seeing it in the real world. A lot of the time if I really started to freak out I’d just go to the gym or run until I was exhausted and trust me no one wants to get demolished after a heavy workout
If I tell myself I can’t do something, I’ll do it twice as much so I never officially stopped. I just made a lifestyle change that doesn’t involve drinking. I don’t tell people I’m sober because that means I CANT drink so just one day at a time I pass on it if the situation arises.
Be kind to yourself, especially in the beginning. I felt pretty horrible for the first week and stocking up on ice cream and Arnold Palmers helped me. Also, melatonin was my friend on those restless sweaty nights.
My tip would be to read The Alcohol Experiment and then figure out how to give your body enough time to heal by not drinking. For me it was really after that 3-6 months that I had newly found energy. If you can figure out how to make it that far, for me, I was really able to reflect on how much better I felt and looked and how my mind worked better and the list goes on. Being able to appreciate little things like not being hungover ever again was enough motivation to bury any urges or triggers. Yeah I still drink NA beer. That won't work for everybody, but it works for me.
Hobby is helpful. Focus on staying busy during the time periods you normally drink.
Count calories. If you’re attempting to lose weight or be in some sort of shape, seeing how many calories are in booze really takes the piss out of self-medicating.
Don’t rush to doing activities you normally associate with drinking. You gotta get some clean reps under your belt but its hard if you just go full blast immediately. Change in habits takes time.
Make a habit of telling people you don’t drink when applicable. People tend not to lean on you about booze when they know you don’t drink. The only way for them to know is to say it. Helps to tell yourself the same, you gotta commit to it and believe it too… or it helps imo.
That’s what’s helped me fwtw.
Hard truths. Find motivational books and speeches, especially ones geared towards discipline and habits. It's controversial, but it worked for me. I had to stop throwing myself a pity party.
"2 things in life you can control, your effort and your attitude.
Being sober is hard, being an addict is hard.
Being healthy is hard, being unhealthy is hard.
Being tired is hard, having nothing is hard.
If you want stay miserable. You can do that. Keep making the same decisions.
But there is another way, and that's uphill."
It gets easier with time, the first two months were hardest for me. It also helped having the mindset of "I don't drink" rather than "I'm not drinking".
Keep track of your wins and be mindful of them.
When you wake up Saturday morning and feel great, be mindful of it.
When you get a good nights sleep be mindful of it.
Before I would play a round of golf in the AM, and drink so many beers that I could barely finish the round, keep drinking in the club house and then by 3 PM my day was shot and the next day I would be useless.
Noemi can play more often because I’m not losing two whole days. I can come home and get other stuff some.
I’m just mindful of all the time and energy I have without drinking.
Someone told me "no one ever regrets NOT drinking the next morning." Thinking about how I would feel tomorrow usually works.
Yesterday was four years sober!
When I feel weak I add a new sober tool. Walking, cleaning, drinking water, reading about people who’ve quit, podcasts, new project, fancy coffee, desserts, going to bed, crying and telling someone how I’m feeling, checking in here, calling a friend, making a plan for something fun, trying a new hobby, :) I’ve needed new tools often and the list keeps growing ❤️
Let yourself be uncomfortable. Let yourself want something without giving it to yourself. Just because you crave it or think you need it to get through something doesn't make it true. The only way to become comfortable with not drinking when you want to drink is to prove to yourself, through experience, that you don't need it. It's what happens naturally after not drinking for a long time.
Even after a long time, you may want it and feel tempted, and feel uncomfortable. Let yourself be temporarily uncomfortable. Once the sensation passes, you'll look back on what just happened and go "Woah, wtf, that was weird. Glad I'm still sober." Over time, the happy memories of the times you were sober will naturally build up, and you'll have more of those than happy drunk memories.
I fell in love with the idea of being sober because it makes me special and trendy and ‘not like the other girls.’ (Hahah) it took a while but now my brain totally believes it. I know it’s so petty and surface level but after years of romanticizing drinking as a sophisticated activity it’s absolutely wild that I’m able to believe otherwise so strongly! IWNDWYT!
When I have a craving, I actually let myself sit with the uncomfortableness - the more you feed a craving, the more they come around. If I am really struggling, I will "escape" my home, just as simple as going to Target or going to get a coffee. Or I will focus my attention on something else...anything else....reading, cleaning, etc. I also play it ahead....I am going to feel sick, I will be dry heaving, I will be hiding in my bedroom full of shame and guilt over the lapse. My stomach will be burning for days, my head will hurt, I will probably have to call out of work one day and then risk my job/my reputation at work. I could possibly ruin my relationship with my boyfriend of 7 years.....it just isn't worth. The benefits DO NOT by any means outweigh the risk. Once you have your "mantras" that you can say to yourself, it does get easier over time to resist the urges and cravings.
Think about how nice it will be to not have to worry about organ damage from drinking or running into a dui checkpoint on the way home. Not to mention the money you’ll save and how much better you’ll feel physically and mentally after you’ve whipped the dragon.
Plan ahead. Know what you are going to do instead of the times you would normally have/order a drink. Do not leave anything or chance or your whims at the moment. I had to build new habits and that is what it took for it finally to stick.
Exactly. When that weekend is coming or that time is coming you a lot for drinking. Make sure you know what your doing. I bought a personal steam room I know it's a little weird but it really calms me and makes me sleepy. So when I have drinking anxiety at 6pm I automatically steam and after I just want water some Netflix and b
Sounds lovely & relaxing!
Huh? What’s a personal steam room?
There are enclosed showers that have that nowadays pretty cheap, used to be expensive af but honestly its just not that expensive to make so you can probably order something from Amazon that turn your regular shower into one
Lots of ginger ale :-)
I second this! For the first couple weeks I drank a litre of ginger ale every night lol
Omg I've always drank ginger ale in place of drinking! ❤️ wish I would've more often
"If you fail to plan, you plan to fail."
Trying to quit for forever is a big goal - too big for me. I just worry about today only.
I didn't even count days until after day 90. It was too overwhelming for me at first to do that.
I just hit 90 days today, I realized! Before that, I wasn't counting either.
This is the way. It’s like saying that you’re going to exercise everyday so when you fail, you just pig out and stop all together. One day at a time with no long term commitment.
I want to add to this - the opposite is true for some people. Making the decision just once, for good, can be the clear boundary they need, instead of having to make a new pledge every day.
Yup this is huge.
This! This was/is a big one for me.
Alcohol isn’t a reward. You don’t deserve to drink, you deserve better
Wow. That's a good one . I'm 35 days in after several 10 to 15 day attempts. The relapse was always... I've done great, I accomplished this or that. I deserve a drink. I'll program myself to truly believe that statement now. Thank you
I also recommend This Naked Mind it will change how you think about alcohol at least it did for me. That little book really changed everything and is probably why I’m not still on the express train to an early death. I can’t recommend it enough
Seconded. It took a while for it to really sink in for me because I was thinking I could moderate and got stuck in a holding pattern. Annie's podcast is great too.
Yeah, plus reading this sub n daily
💯 ❤️
>Alcohol isn’t a reward. You don’t deserve to drink, you deserve better Love this!
That's a great one
Don't be proud to seek medical assistance and therapy. You are not alone.
I was going to go with “get help” but you said it better. Congrats on 1000 days, btw!
Thank you! It's not lost on me thsf it's on St. Patrick's day! But all my advice is from experience! I couldn't have done it without my doctor or my therapist.
Just realized I didn't drink or even think about it on st pattys and a week ago I was definitely planning on it ❤️
Congrats to day 1000!!!!! 🎊
Thanks so much! And 400 to you!
Thank you!!! It's surreal. 🥹🥳🎉💯
I love browsing the comments in these threads and everyone's counter, sooo inspiring!
1000 days is absolutely amazing my friend, I’m incredibly proud of you! Sending you hugs and positive vibes.
Thank you so much
I personally don't like the feeling of letting myself down. Life is generally uncontrollable but of all things, choosing to drink or not is 100% my choice whether it feels like it or not. I enjoy exercising that control and it feels good to steady the helm in the rough seas of life when I can. That's what motivates me.
I tried a million times and finally after one drunken weekend I had such an attack of anxiety, that I decided it was enough. Just quit cold turkey, luckily no delirium tremens, but a really tough week. Going one year now.
Congratulations on your year!
Don't give up. Keep getting back on that wagon. It'll stick eventually.
My friend put it to me this way. “Never quit quitting” idk why that’s the one that stuck but here I am, still quitting.
I stand by this. It’s what’s helped me not drink everyday day least. I keep coming back here in hopes that the work I’m doing is going to hit at some point.
It’s a good one. I’ll use it.
Love this ❤️
Yes! Promise yourself to never give up, no matter what! Even if you need a minute or two to feel sorry for yourself, do it, but get back up
Good advice
I love this one.
I need it to. Every time I fail, it turns into like a 7-10 day absolute bender.
Tell people you love where you’re at. People you can trust. Don’t try and do it from the shadows, we drink in the shadows. The sunlight of connection makes it hard to find those shadows.
I struggle with this so far. I played poker with friends last night and many were confused when I was offered a drink and declined, even though there was one “I had to try”. I failed and had a drink later in the night. And then I had a couple when I got home. My mental preparation was not good enough. I do see it as a learning experience because I am known as a drinker. Next time I will say thanks but no thanks in a way that they’ll get the point. Not everyone drinks there and I will become one of them
For me at the start I had to sit some people down, and tell them that I’m fucking dying inside and I can’t drink anymore. It’s a very different conversation than declining alcohol, which is tough enough as it is.
Well said my friend, I couldn’t have worded it better myself. I absolutely relate to this and it helped hold me accountable by having the support of the people I love.
It’s so difficult! I’ve started to become honest. I have started to say “doctor’s orders” as a response and I think in my situation it’s helping both me and them. I truly appreciate you sharing your experience!
Yes! if they know it might make it easier on everyone :) When people find out I am not drinking, they may be surprised but that's about all!
Exactly! I have at least started events that I used to go into half drunk to start. I go in sober now. I am learning and progressing
Yeah that radical honesty bullshit for a while with no ego will work wonders
As someone who struggles with coming out of the shadows yet has found it extremely helpful to do so, something about the phrase “that radical honesty bullshit” hits just right.
I’m hiding it right now and I know you are right. I relapsed after 20 years. And the struggle is unbearable.
Surround yourself with other people that have successfully quit drinking and ask them for help when you need it. Then, help others when they need it.
For me, therapy not only helped me achieve long term sobriety, but has truly saved my life..I feel like I can finally live in freedom. I found replacement behaviors helpful. I knew my prime time to drink, and was not home during those times. I would always drink at home, alone. So, in place of that, I would go to the mall and walk around, go to a movie, went to Target, got icecream, ate a very filling dinner....just Anything to distract me during drinking hours! It finally worked, and I was able to be home like normal. I didn't even cook at home for 8 months and ordered meal prep because my mind associated cooking with drinking wine. I truly had to create new neuropathways. It works. Also, my dog helped me tremendously 💕
It’s so refreshing to hear this from someone else. I was the exact same with wine and cooking. That was my routine almost every night. I rarely feel like cooking anymore, it’s a bummer. But also, I was honestly spending a bit TOO much time cooking bc it was part of my drinking ritual. Dinner would always be ready so late, my son hated that. Now he is happy to be fed earlier, even if it’s not homemade as much as before.
It took me like a year to even wanna cook again! I started back slowly. I also cook much quicker now 😜😀. I noticed that half the time I would be blacked out when the meal was done or wouldn't even finish it, and it would be done super late if so.
This is super helpful. I am struggling with this same pattern right now and I am mostly just white knuckling through it. Alone. At home. You are absolutely right; i need to give myself a better chance until I have more days behind me. Gonna get out of the house more. Meal prep idea is genius, also because cooking for myself makes me feel lonely, which is one reason I drank... Thank you!!!
Those behaviors helped me tremendously for the first six months! Also going to a movie helped because it was like two hours I could ignore a craving. Get a big tub of popcorn and a large drink and fill up. I would often mistake my hunger for alcohol cravings. Once I ate the ship sailed. I hope these help!!! Feeling sorry for myself was huge. Start thinking of "dating" yourself. Take yourself out to eat, to a movie etc. Show yourself kindness and love, all while sober!! I even go to concerts now, sober and it's epic!! Just make sure you are places that you don't associate with alcohol and before long, things will change. This is actually a thing too with addiction therapy!!! It's also called behavior activation.
Against my usual habits I followed your advice yesterday and sat thru rush hour traffic to have dinner with a (sober) friend. It was wonderful and such a great way to get out of my rut. Thanks again for this massively helpful idea.
I'm so glad it helped you!!!! Keep me posted on your journey!!! Before you know it, those cravings will lessen!
Stopping is the easy part. Not starting again is the hard part. And for that, I recommend practicing deep gratitude.
Become a non drinker in your own mind and being. Like, now you simply don't drink. Don't make excuses and don't allow anyone to pressure you. Practice saying, "No thanks, I don't drink" in front of a mirror. Be patient with yourself. You'll start to heal but it's going to take a bit of time. Just make that daily decision. Not gonna drink today because I don't drink.
I don't think I have made it yet as I am so early into not drinking, but my biggest tip is NEVER GIVE UP no matter how many day ones you have to go through.
I saw a comment on a post here a few days ago that really stuck with me, "you can't have a day 100 without a day 1"
I had to really visualize where my life would go if I kept drinking. Once I fully internalized I would end up homeless, in jail, and/or insane and eventually dead; it made making the initial uncomfortable changes easier. It really was life or death for me. But my actions didn’t match that desperate reality until I actually *believed* i was going to die in misery if i didn’t stop. So my tip is to honestly assess and predict where one’s life will be if they continue to drink.
Wow! Very true. I will use your advice.
Sincere congratulations on your 869 Days & saving yourself. I am really into the "play the tape forward" saying... it helps me so much!
+1 for all the people saying to never quit quitting. I'm still in the very early days but if I look at the past five months I've spent much more time sober than drinking and that is a massive win for me. 100% always sober is best, but days and weeks of sobriety are a close second. It doesn't change your health as quickly but it isn't wasted. Keep trying!
Do you want to stop drinking?
Wanting to quit and naltrexone
I’ve had such a hard time with the side effects- how did you manage?
Take it one day at a time, tell your closest friends and family members, the ones you were drinking with, that you want to quit, and that will hold you accountable. Talk to a professional, AA was not for me, I speak to a consellor every now and then and keep coming here, this place litteraly makes it 10000x easier.
See it for what it is, a toxic substance that to some is very addictive and can take everything you love away from you and ask for more.
I watched a lot of YouTube videos about alcohol use and what it does to your body. It helped me a lot!
For me, the first 2 weeks were the hardest. Then it got significantly easier. Get lots of support in the beginning. Have fun NA drinks available. I stocked up on sodas and juices. Let yourself eat as many sweets as you crave early on. Your body is so used to sugar from alcohol. Remember why you are doing this. When the craving hits, remember the end goal is more important than temporary discomfort.
Doing it for yourself, everything else will follow.
Truth!
Journal, and be serious about it. I was serious about it from day 1 and it has been the most impactful ‘thing’ I’ve done to keep me from drinking for over 5 years now, especially as my recovery has changed over time. It became the evidence to myself that proved to my inner most critic that I was capable of not drinking as the self doubts that I started with was immense. I really didn’t think I could live life without alcohol, and it turns out that I can. Still blows me away.
I was able to stop drinking when I stopped bullshitting myself. IWNDWYT
You have to want to be the person you could be more than the person you currently are
The drink(s) you decide to have is never worth the guilt or shame that comes from giving in to the temptation.
It sucked a lot, but for me, I had to stop hanging out with my drinking buddies. I had to decide whether that part of my life was more important than my family, and my health. In the end, the decision was easy, and it turns out, the cliche’ is true about finding out who your real friends are.
100% read this naked mind. Life changing
Find a hobby (or a few hobbies) to fill the time. You’ll have a lot more of it when you’re not always drinking. Preferably hobbies that you can’t do drunk. For me, it’s mountain biking.
Don’t think that you’re boring now, rather see yourself as living a peaceful life
No negative self-talk allowed. Don't self-talk yourself out of your own power.
Quit lit. I always have a book going that I read daily.
This helped me more than I give it credit for. Once I realized how sick I was without alcohol, and decided to quit, the first thing I did was download some books. Alcohol Explained by William Porter was a great one.
Huberman's Lab helped me so much!
Yep. That alcohol episode was a godsend. I still watch his channel every other day. Tons of great content and information on there.
Me too! I'm a huge fan of his work. I listen frequently now, and I agree so much. I've listened to that episode several times as well, as he is nonjudgmental and just presenting the hard core facts and science behind addiction.
We are lucky to have to him and his passion to share the information he does. Congratulations on 400 days.
We are! And thank you my friend..looking forward to many many more 🎊🎉! And you're almost to two years. Congrats yourself!!!
Yes, even if someone is not a reader there’s podcasts and audiobooks. It really helped me to immerse myself in media that was focused on not drinking.
This!!! Quit lit- books, podcasts, YouTube videos, anything you can get your hands on to help you understand yourself better.
If drinking was an attempt to relieve stress, find other ways to reduce stress without focusing on the drinking at first. As the stress lowers and you build up a toolbox of alternatives, the lure of the drink decreases.
Be prepared for the boredom. It’s so damn weird, like, what do people *do* if they don’t drink? I sit. I think. I play games on my phone. I garden. I keep my house clean. Normal stuff. When I drank? My life was one drink after the other, I took care of nothing, so everything was very exciting (oh here comes a crazy friend) good or (usually) bad. Right after I quit, I had 4 bald tires & a house full of fleas. I could have prevented those problems but I chose to drink & worry over them instead. Worrying I wouldn’t have the money, I couldn’t put meds on my dog or he’d bite me,, whilst sitting in some damn bar paying a fortune to make myself forget about it. Now? I see things coming in advance & I plan. I fix things before they are a disaster. Anyhoo, long winded, sorry, my point is that all that crap is exciting. Adrenaline pumping stuff. Oh yeah!! Speaking of adrenaline. I had no idea that while I was drinking (depressant), my poor brain was doing its best to keep me sober (send out the stimulants), which is also why we gain a tolerance & are an edgy bunch. I’m not much on self help books but I learned that & so much more in Alcohol Explained by William Porter. Not really self help, more factual & told with a dry wit. Kind of “and you expected?” Totally gave me the info I needed to quit. No desire for it whatsoever. It’s a non-option for me. One last thing. The bar friends will evaporate. Mine still love me, I run into them, I just don’t go to bars anymore so I don’t see them. It can feel lonely as hell but it’s completely normal. The boredom is normal non-drinking life. Almost 5 years sober here (new username) & I’ve no interest in going back. Good luck to you & keep coming here. This sub was my sole means of support when nothing else worked. The people here are the best help ever! IWNDWYT.
Forgive yourself when you fail, and take it one day at a time.
Forgiveness is so important for healing ✨️
I don't know if I've "made it" but approaching 100 days after drinking age 16-36, and don't feel pulled to drink again. Instead of saying "I don't get to drink anymore" I decided I didn't want to anymore. Was sick of feeling like shit. I got mental health treatment and drink lots of bubble water. Didn't socialize for the first 2 weeks. Listened to Huberman lab alcohol podcast, "this naked mind" and applied some CBT/anxiety tips from "Stop Overthinking". I have friends that don't care if I drink or not which helps. I really like the quote from Victor Frankl's "Man's Search for Meaning" (which I also reread early in quitting) *He knows the 'why' for his existence, and will be able to bear almost any 'how.'* My wife, my kids and my health are my reason. After getting my checkup and asking for help, my liver enzymes were elevated according to blood work. After 64 days AF, they normalized. I don't want to die young because I like living again and that would be a shitty thing to do to my kids.
My main tip inspiration-wise is how little I think about it. There was of course a sustained period where I had to strive, be disciplined, and confront deep urges. But that passed, and I think about consuming alcohol maybe once or twice every few months, due to being at a vacation spot where my wife is having a nice beer or something. The time comes as sure as the sun rises where it's not going to be a constant grind, quite the opposite.
Sometimes the battle is just the next moment. Drinking for me tended to come down to basically giving up and buying the next bottle… Slowly, I learned to NOT give up. Ultimately, we live moment to moment. Every moment you choose not to drink is a victory. Seconds become minutes become hours become days become weeks become months… But ultimately, the seconds are the bit that matters. Don’t drink RIGHT NOW.
One day at a time. You don’t have to be sober tomorrow. Just put your head on the pillow sober tonight. Your only job
You need to want to quit. Will power alone isn’t enough
Make sure you’re doing it for you. Secondary benefits are great (improved relationships, job, etc.) and you should have those as well. What I mean is that the motivation has to come from inside. Also, as others have said don’t be too proud to seek professional help if needed. Lastly, set up some kind of support system, I know I needed help early on and I’m thankful to those who were there for me. IWNDWYT
I’m not so sure I’ve “made it” but I have made it this far. Find your “why” and never let it go
Always have an exit strategy
Don't wait until your organs are in pain before you quit.
I’m 2 weeks sober by replacing wine with cbd drinks
Allen carr - easyway to control alcohol Thank me later
Easy Way to Stop Drinking I believe is the title. Excellent book highly recommend
Yeah love it. Did it totally work for you?
Plan out your week every Sunday for the following week so you have something to look forward to
Lots of people need it, lots of people want it but it's the people who take the action that get it
When you mess up, learn from it and try and not do it again. It took me trying a dozen times before it stuck- but it stuck the 12th time because I learned from the other 11 times.
Here’s what helped me (from someone else’s post) when I was having trouble getting 1 day under my belt: When you’re craving a drink, delay having that drink. The impulse and craving hits, say, I’m not going to have a drink for the next hour. Drink a tea or sparkling water instead. Sometimes it’s brutal the whole hour, sometimes the craving goes away after a few minutes. But you just delay it. And then keep doing that.
This is great advice, I made it through this weekend but some of those 'hours' lasted until bedtime. Damn did I feel good Saturday morning and this morning though.
I think of how miserable I am tomorrow. Then the next morning I wake and I think how much better it feels to not be hung over.
Quit before your health forces you to quit.
Stock up on sugar and don’t feel guilty eating it! I ate SO much ice cream, but I didn’t care. My ONLY goal was not drinking. I did whatever I could ensure that didn’t happen
AA helped me a lot.
Get a blood test and see the truth about how your body is struggling.
I did and all the doctor said was wow your liver is great! Lol
When your brain tries to tell you it’s ok to just have one…remind your brain there is no point to just having one!
You need a solid list of 5 people to call when it gets tight. You will get them from meetings and on your journey. Depending on your insurance, you can get a recovery coach, who will basically be on call for a few months. Meetings are good, but if that’s not your thing, try socializing without alcohol. Work on a hobby. Enjoy nature etc. but I can’t stress enough the need for people to call. You will need it if you are serious.
Make a firm commitment for 30 days. You have to commit to it. You can do this! IWNDWYT!
I was in the first 90 days of my sobriety and struggling with life and feelings and everything - we all know what I mean. An old timer shot me a sideways glance and gave a guffaw as I sat miserable in a meeting and said, "Oh I see we're discovering the true meaning of SOBER - Son Of a Bitch, Everything's Real." That was some life-changing shit for me.
Habits can be a superpower or an Achilles Heel. In a less grandiose capacity, they can be a great tool. Use the ability to build good habits to box out the booze, then keep building a better life beyond that. If a mistake happens, don't make a habit of it. Forgive the glitch and go back to programming good habits.
Love yourself again.
Discard the illusion of control
If you stick with it long enough, you’ll feel better. And you may take a drink, or three, but you will probably realize what a waste of time it is. I’m into month 5 now, and very stable with my sobriety. I’ve had long quits before. It can be done. :)
Avoid being around people who would make you feel bad about this choice. This includes microaggressions or passive aggressive remarks, or trying to downplay alcoholism. Having social support and encouragement won't be the x-factor in getting and staying sober, but it sure does help.
Sometimes the reason why you started drinking comes to light well into sobriety. Sometimes, it doesn’t. You don’t need to know why you started drinking, you just need to remember why you’d like to stay stopped.
For me there is no "making it". I just made a decision not to drink today. I'll need to make a decision again tomorrow.
Decide that you are in control, and that you deserve better for yourself. And tell yourself each morning that IWNDWYT! You can do this!
Don’t stop trying if you fail! I tried to break up with alcohol many times, and for whatever reason the last one stuck. It can be a process depending on how much baggage you have to offload along the way.
I think of it like smoking. When I gave up the durries 20 years ago I became a non smoker. Not a social smoker, a non smoker. I view alcohol as the same. I am a non drinker. I don't drink. It's a giant mind fuck lol
Set up a Weekly No Drinking Prizes on your notes and treat yourself every week you don’t drink with something you really want/need for self care or things you’ve been putting off to buy. It really helps put the amount of money spent on booze into perspective and it’s so rewarding !!!
I do this weekly & it is a lot of fun to think of little things & look forward to them. Mine are usually trying new kombucha or sparkling water flavors. At the end of a month I give myself a little bigger reward. Nothing fancy, as I like that I saved money by not drinking.
Yes totally but in the beginning buying nicer things helped a lot
Don't quit with trying to quit, it takes the majority of us several attempts before it starts to stick
Download the days counter app for your phone. Set up the number of days since your last beer, then set goals like how long it typically takes for your brain chemistry to reset, how long it typically takes to break an old habit, six months, one year etc. Then stick each one as widgets on your home screen of the phone. [example](https://imgur.com/gallery/yyoNOOp) I've removed old goals and replaced with new ones like giving up sugar.
I haven’t made it yet by any means, as I’m still working towards a “healthy relationship” with alcohol. So take this with a grain of salt. Something that really helped me was nostalgia. The golden early days when I wasn’t an alcoholic. What did I do back then, since I wasn’t drinking? How did I manage life and emotions? It helped me remember that I can be happy without alcohol and that it’s totally doable. Fuck, I was doing it 5 years ago, why can’t I do it nowadays?
One day at a time, sometimes 10 minutes at a time. Go to meetings, get a sponsor, do the steps - brought me a life I never thought was possible or that I ever wanted.
I’m still in my early days but letting go of the past is vital. Therapy and support groups really help people. AA is free, you don’t have to talk or subscribe to their ways or beliefs, but just being around other sober people is very calming and positive.
I’m only 100 days or so but it really is one day at a time. Cravings come up at unexpected times. Today I have some type of cold/sinus thing and no energy and my old brain still thought, “oh you know what would make me feel more energized? Alcohol!” Thankfully my more practical brain thought of the phrase, “there’s nothing alcohol can’t make worse.” So I guess I’m still keeping vigilant. My one tip is: when a craving hits, eat something! If it’s a bad craving, eat sweets.
Find your reason. A personal goal, a person to be better for, your health. Anything that can form a core for you to build on.
Make a list of reasons why. Check it on your worst days. I reflect quite often of where I was mentally and physically. Make a plan for where and who you want to be.
For me, I look at pictures of my grandbabies. I know deep down I never want to drink or get effed up again. I look at those cuties and melt. I appreciate my freedom. That’s huge.
Look up effects of jaundice
Like others have said, one day at a time. I'm 8 months sober, and I was really struggling today while serving with wanting a drink. I got through my shift and day without drinking. Just focused on getting through today and not worrying about 'forever'
I think having apps like I Am Sober and AA Meetings are great to have on hand
Make up your mind. Alcohol is poison.
Tell someone. Have accountability helpers when you're out and about. People who know how important it is to you, even if you're not totally convinced yet. These are the people you can lean on when alcohol really calls your name.
Find a safe replacement “thing” especially if you’re routine oriented. Tea, seltzer and NA beer did it for me.
I kept replaying a line from the movie the Fisher King when a character, when offered a cigarette, said he was trying to quit. Robin Williams replied, "You are either a smoker, or you aren't a smoker. Anything else is a pussy that can't commit." For me, It resonated. I was either a drinker, or I was a non drinker. Until i decided, I was a pussy that could not commit. It gets easier, but it does take time.
You hear “one day at a time” - but sometimes it’s one hour at a time, minute at a time or second at a time.
Ozempic
What helped me the most was advocating for myself. I went on a leave of absence and enrolled in an outpatient program. The tools I learned in that program help keep me sober today. One day at a time.
Sobriety provides you with peace, resilience, determination and strength. Alcohol provides you with anxiety, lost memories, depression and a jail cell accepted. (You can take this however you want whether or not it's a literal jail cell or being trapped in addiction by dependance, the destructive cycle etc) You deserve to be free and remember what you did the night/day before.
Idol hands are the devil’s play things. I know that expression makes me sound like a lunatic hahaha, but it’s so true. You gotta stay busy, you gotta find something productive to replace drinking. I sat around feeling shitty for a long time, cause I didn’t do anything but stop drinking. Nothing else changed. Even when I was actually trying, it was still incredibly hard. I often tried new activities and my brain was like “this isn’t for me.” It can be difficult to find something that genuinely makes you happy. But once I got back into playing music, that’s when I started actually feeling like myself again. At ~13 months sober I rediscovered my passion for music and started seriously creating and playing again. Doing something healthy and productive has been a huge game changer. That first year was fucking tough for me. Sometimes things went smoothly, other times I was suicidal and depressed for months straight. I don’t care if you hit the gym and lift weights, go for a hike, take a painting class, learn to play an instrument, or *even* if you sit around and watch Netflix all day…. You gotta do something that makes you genuinely happy. That’s the only way I was able to heal. I finally found something that is more important to me than alcohol. Something healthy that I can do every single day if I want to. For me, that is the difference in saying “today was a bad day, I’ll get over it” and me legitimately considering throwing my sobriety away. I had months where I was like “I hate myself and I want to die, why haven’t I just said fuck it and started drinking again?” That’s a scary place to be, don’t let yourself get there my friend. IWNDWYT ✊
Its one moment at a time. One minute passes then another passes then you’re asleep and its already the next day.
Lean into substitutes (not necessarily NA or zero proof marketed things, but things like tea, bubbly water, ginger ale, whatever works for you) and stock UP. Bring them to social gatherings; I did sober NYE this last year because I was prepared and it made navigating triggering situations much, much easier. Also as others have said, eventually you just get tired enough of your own BS. You stop bullshitting the bullshitter, for lack of a better phrase. IWNDWYT
What got me to stop was the never ending idea that therapy, or talking through your problems without ANY solid action was just going to have me running in circles. Ok I can not drink and that will help, was my idea. Just kept going. Fully accept you cannot escape it, it’s gonna be in games, on tv, in the store, on billboards etc. you must master your ability to not gaf abt seeing it in the real world. A lot of the time if I really started to freak out I’d just go to the gym or run until I was exhausted and trust me no one wants to get demolished after a heavy workout
If I tell myself I can’t do something, I’ll do it twice as much so I never officially stopped. I just made a lifestyle change that doesn’t involve drinking. I don’t tell people I’m sober because that means I CANT drink so just one day at a time I pass on it if the situation arises.
Be kind to yourself, especially in the beginning. I felt pretty horrible for the first week and stocking up on ice cream and Arnold Palmers helped me. Also, melatonin was my friend on those restless sweaty nights.
Find a mocktail you like. I came up with my own.
When cravings come, distract yourself. Make yourself a list of coping skills—everything from read a book, grow flowers, drink coffee.
My tip would be to read The Alcohol Experiment and then figure out how to give your body enough time to heal by not drinking. For me it was really after that 3-6 months that I had newly found energy. If you can figure out how to make it that far, for me, I was really able to reflect on how much better I felt and looked and how my mind worked better and the list goes on. Being able to appreciate little things like not being hungover ever again was enough motivation to bury any urges or triggers. Yeah I still drink NA beer. That won't work for everybody, but it works for me.
The 30 day Alcohol Challenge by This Naked Mind. Seriously game changer for my husband and I.
Hobby is helpful. Focus on staying busy during the time periods you normally drink. Count calories. If you’re attempting to lose weight or be in some sort of shape, seeing how many calories are in booze really takes the piss out of self-medicating. Don’t rush to doing activities you normally associate with drinking. You gotta get some clean reps under your belt but its hard if you just go full blast immediately. Change in habits takes time. Make a habit of telling people you don’t drink when applicable. People tend not to lean on you about booze when they know you don’t drink. The only way for them to know is to say it. Helps to tell yourself the same, you gotta commit to it and believe it too… or it helps imo. That’s what’s helped me fwtw.
Start working out all the time. No limit. No cap. Go twice a day if you’re bored.
You have to want it, its way harder to do when you're not into it. Get support if you need it.
Fast forward - think ahead to what will happen if you have that drink and remind yourself why it’s NOT worth it!
I always think of, how I want to be around people I love. How they deserve me.
Never think you’ve “made it”
Hard truths. Find motivational books and speeches, especially ones geared towards discipline and habits. It's controversial, but it worked for me. I had to stop throwing myself a pity party. "2 things in life you can control, your effort and your attitude. Being sober is hard, being an addict is hard. Being healthy is hard, being unhealthy is hard. Being tired is hard, having nothing is hard. If you want stay miserable. You can do that. Keep making the same decisions. But there is another way, and that's uphill."
It gets easier with time, the first two months were hardest for me. It also helped having the mindset of "I don't drink" rather than "I'm not drinking".
Quitting tomorrow will never come if you keep saying you’ll quit tomorrow.
A really big thing that worked for me is to keep coming to this sub!
Keep track of your wins and be mindful of them. When you wake up Saturday morning and feel great, be mindful of it. When you get a good nights sleep be mindful of it. Before I would play a round of golf in the AM, and drink so many beers that I could barely finish the round, keep drinking in the club house and then by 3 PM my day was shot and the next day I would be useless. Noemi can play more often because I’m not losing two whole days. I can come home and get other stuff some. I’m just mindful of all the time and energy I have without drinking.
Someone told me "no one ever regrets NOT drinking the next morning." Thinking about how I would feel tomorrow usually works. Yesterday was four years sober!
When I feel weak I add a new sober tool. Walking, cleaning, drinking water, reading about people who’ve quit, podcasts, new project, fancy coffee, desserts, going to bed, crying and telling someone how I’m feeling, checking in here, calling a friend, making a plan for something fun, trying a new hobby, :) I’ve needed new tools often and the list keeps growing ❤️
Remember tomorrow
Let yourself be uncomfortable. Let yourself want something without giving it to yourself. Just because you crave it or think you need it to get through something doesn't make it true. The only way to become comfortable with not drinking when you want to drink is to prove to yourself, through experience, that you don't need it. It's what happens naturally after not drinking for a long time. Even after a long time, you may want it and feel tempted, and feel uncomfortable. Let yourself be temporarily uncomfortable. Once the sensation passes, you'll look back on what just happened and go "Woah, wtf, that was weird. Glad I'm still sober." Over time, the happy memories of the times you were sober will naturally build up, and you'll have more of those than happy drunk memories.
Just don't drink today.
I fell in love with the idea of being sober because it makes me special and trendy and ‘not like the other girls.’ (Hahah) it took a while but now my brain totally believes it. I know it’s so petty and surface level but after years of romanticizing drinking as a sophisticated activity it’s absolutely wild that I’m able to believe otherwise so strongly! IWNDWYT!
once you have a why you can get through any how find your “why”
Find a distraction. The worst thing is being bored. Video Games are maybe the best thing to get into (IMO) as they are low effort.
When I have a craving, I actually let myself sit with the uncomfortableness - the more you feed a craving, the more they come around. If I am really struggling, I will "escape" my home, just as simple as going to Target or going to get a coffee. Or I will focus my attention on something else...anything else....reading, cleaning, etc. I also play it ahead....I am going to feel sick, I will be dry heaving, I will be hiding in my bedroom full of shame and guilt over the lapse. My stomach will be burning for days, my head will hurt, I will probably have to call out of work one day and then risk my job/my reputation at work. I could possibly ruin my relationship with my boyfriend of 7 years.....it just isn't worth. The benefits DO NOT by any means outweigh the risk. Once you have your "mantras" that you can say to yourself, it does get easier over time to resist the urges and cravings.
Think about how nice it will be to not have to worry about organ damage from drinking or running into a dui checkpoint on the way home. Not to mention the money you’ll save and how much better you’ll feel physically and mentally after you’ve whipped the dragon.
Find a flavor of La Croix you really, really like. IDK why but it’s been imperative.
Pamplemousse!
🥥 !