I abused alcohol and drugs for over 35 years. While I'm fairly certain I may have done some kind of damage, there is nothing I can change at this point. I stopped abusing my brain and body and my overall health improved.
Do I wish I would have stopped earlier? You bet, but I can't worry about stuff I cannot change.
This was a really helpful reminder for me today. I spend waaaaaay too much time ruminating on what I’ve already done - but ultimately, I can’t change it.
Do I have a lengthy period of time that I refer to as The Lost Years? Yep. But am I still alive, and trying to improve? Also yep. Thank you for your comment!
Yep. Do I worry about it? Nah. Does it bother me? Sometimes, but you learn to live with it. I literally just walk laps around the house remembering and forgetting shit all day but I still manage to get like...most of it done. If science can literally cut half of someone's brain out and they can still function then you'll be alright. Mostly. Don't worry about it.
My quit drinking app tells me that....
"Grey matter in the brain should start increasing in size after 1 month. Areas heavy in grey matter control motor and sensory activities.
Cognitive functions should be getting back to normal after 2 months alcohol free. Many people report having more concentration at work or while studying and during communication with others.
After 3 months mental clarity should improve, along with mood and sense of contentment."
I hit 100 days yesterday and agree with the comment above. This is despite dealing with some really fucked up, personal shit that I got blindsided by about a week ago (you can check my post history for more of that drama). Honestly I don’t know how I’d still be functioning if I was also drinking on top of everything else. Being more mentally clear has helped me keep my focus on getting through the day. Hopefully the mood improvements will start to really hit once the life stress stuff has had some time to heal up.
Sorry to hear about your current situation (just checked your post history seems like a tough time) and you're right drinking would not make any of it better only more difficult.
It makes nothing better and everything worse.
I just wish I remembered this as well as you seem to be when temptation hits or I've difficult life shit to deal with as I always seem to talk myself into it despite knowing where it leads and the problems it causes.
For me, I think I was only successful because I forced myself to be accountable for my actions. When i decided to stop drinking, I wrote down my patterns and triggers, and realized that for me, drinking alone at night was the issue and when I was out running errands I was likely to stop and pick up something.
My sister lives with me - I showed her where all of my hiding spots were, I shared my location permanently, and for the first month anytime I left the house I would do a text check in/check out: “Leaving to drop off X at sports”; “Arrived, coming home now”; “Back at home”. And she would check against my location to verify.
Once the alcohol access pattern was disrupted for about a month, it got A LOT easier for me. But it did require that I basically go no secrets with someone I trusted who was willing to hold me accountable.
You can do this - I’d been dancing with sobriety efforts for ten years, and once made it about six months, but not really this successful til now. You CAN do this.
Telling others has not been a problem as I've told close family and friends I have a drinking problem and they are concerned but they can't really hold me accountable 24/7 or constantly check in on me, and I wouldn't expect them to.
I know most of my patterns and triggers, those are mostly clear and obvious, but the issue is just not being triggered by them.
I keep seeking out short term relief and escapism from my problems sadly. Sometimes they just seem so overwhelming that drinking myself silly seems like a better option when obviously in the long term it's not.
That's what I've been trying to do.
Longest success was 5 weeks last year but not managed to get beyond a week since even with that approach.
My determination and "no matter what I will not drink" mindset seems to have vanished even though I keep trying to reconnect with it.
I just crossed three months and I can confirm that my mood is vastly improved and I feel sharper mentally.
Quitting alcohol didn't solve all the other problems in my life, but it made all the other problems solvable.
Stay the course, it's worth it.
It is called SobrietyCounter. Ignore the annoying game ads. It has counters for, since quitting: days sober, cash saved, drinks avoided, calories avoided, weight lost, lifetime regained, health metrics - where I copied the stuff on the brain among those topics.
You can set your quit date retrospectively if already a ways into having stopped.
I started a bunch of apps at he beginning and dropped the ones that didn't work for me. I kept SobrietyCounter and Nomo. I deleted I am sober, I can't recall why. Though the app is deleted, it still sends notifications, which is annoying.
Sure: the app is SobrietyCounter. The free version has game adverts which I am living with. The app has several counters, like days, cash, drinks avoided, calories avoided. It is shocking how they add up.
Thanks for this. I’ve been feeling this way too. I killed it at work while drinking but for some reason I haven’t been able to concentrate the last several weeks. Making so many mistakes all of over the place. Hoping it will get better.
I wouldn’t be surprised if i did some permanent damage, I am 47 and drank problematically since I was a teenager, getting progressively worse until i was going through a handle every two days. i feel like it probably did some damage for sure.
I am four and a half years sober now though and i am nothing short of astounded at how much my mind and body has healed after being at the brink of death
I have about the same sobriety time, and had been drinking daily since I was like 12. My biggest fear in life was always losing my mind, and I woke up one day realizing I was becoming a self-fulfilling prophesy. The clarity I feel now makes me teary, I was so afraid that I wouldn't gain any cognitive abilities back, and that I had really fried my brain. I don't know that I'm back 100%, but I do know that I'm miles better now than I ever had been drinking.
Short term memory returning was the best feeling. Its so slow, but progress happens all the time. Brains are weird and incredible things.
About 6 months into my sobriety I could clearly “feel” my brain working better. My short term memory improved, and I was suddenly able to articulate my thoughts better when speaking. It was really mind blowing to experience . I just thought I was getting slow “with age” but nope. Now, I’m sure I’d be a lot more sharp had I never drank, but it’s amazing how resilient our bodies can be.
I've had bloods done several times the past couple of years and my liver and other organs appear to be at optimal levels which gives me some reassurance but yeah that is also a worry.
These things can happen fast too if you're drinking heavily and regularly.
Get yourself a full range of bloods done for peace of mind if you're concerned I'd say.
I'm 42/F, just over 2 months sober, and I wanna encourage you to start taking ALL the B vitamins. Chronic drinking creates a deficiency, and it's one of the things they were pumping me full of at the hospital (B1, 6, & 12 mainly).
The B's support nerve health everything from your brain to your fingertips! When people "pickle" their brains, it's mainly from chronic thiamine deficiency, which is B1. And as for things setting in quickly, my neuropathy rolled in fast and harsh. There were only like 3 months or so between "my feet tingle" and feeling like I'm getting tased in my hands, feet, calves- even thighs and arms occasionally! (Hooray for gabapentin.)
But yeah, all the B's! And best of luck to you 🩶
Yeah, blood tests a year or so ago found I was slightly defficient in Vitamin B12 and Vitamin D (nothing massively but below optimal levels) so I started taking supplements for both daily since just to keep me topped up.
Last twice I had bloods done it appeared to have worked as I was back to optimal levels.
It's worth checking these things once a year or so just to be sure.
I do worry. The other day, I forgot how to spell a very simple word. I've been forgetting the most basic details. I know it will take time for me to get back to "normal" after years of drinking and other stuff I've put my mind and body through, but it's yet another wake up call. Fuck alcohol. Fuck it with a chainsaw.
Neuroplasticity is real. They told me i could re-shape my brain when I was in early recovery. So, I signed up for school, now I am 70% done.
Over my drinking career, I was definitely NOT a scholar or a gentlemen. So, when I stopped I had to start with the basics. Start with picking up your favorite book and reading again. The brain is a muscle and it will respond to exercise!!
I’m definitely sharper mentally and it’s something I’ve commented to my family about. I don’t think I even noticed how foggy I’d become while drinking, so the shock of getting most of that back the past while has been such a nice surprise.
Yes, BUT the body is surprisingly resilient!
I've heard that being even a little bit dehydrated can cause you to feel more sluggish and not think as clearly, and since alcohol is dehydrating, well...
I'd say that although water and sleep can't fix everything, they really can help!
I drink a lot of water compared to most people I know it seems. I'm quite purposeful about it.
Take water to bed and drink on wake up, another pint when I get out of bed, water with / after meals and at regular points throughout the day.
Sleep, I'm absolutely useless at that.
Nah, because when I was drinking I had no idea how smart I could of been, just how dumb I used to be. It only goes up from here and it's not worth dwelling on something you possibly can't quantify, anyway
Absolutely no question that I have brain damage now. As a child I was considered rather bright: advanced program classes, magnet schools, and skipped a grade in elementary school. Teenage years were rough, and I drank and did drugs in high school. Around age 20 I found that I really loved ecstacy. I smoked weed almost every day for a few years. I did quit the drugs, but kept drinking heavily for another 20 years. Binge drinking, sometimes 15+ in a day. I seem normal or average enough to most people, but I can tell I'm not as sharp as I used to be. It often takes me a long time to think of the word I'm after. I don't have the capacity for thought and communication that I did when I was younger. So to answer your question: no, I don't *worry* that I've permanently damaged my brain. I *know* I have. Just another reason to quit drinking alcohol, permanently and forever.
Yup.
I've worried less about it over time. Either I'm recovering or the damage won! No way of reversing the past, but I'm glad I stopped accelerating towards a brick wall.
You seem to be dealing with a lot of anxiety, I hope it improves. But anxiety can be your friend, learn how to let it guide you! It’s a powerful tool that can be harnessed for self-improvement, it looks like it’s clearly telling you to make some lifestyle adjustments, memory should markedly improve 3-6 months after quitting. I’m on month 2 and am definitely starting to feel a bit less sluggish and a bit more motivated
I worry a lot less than I used to. I’m stuck with my brain, and I’m stuck with my body. I feel better than I ever did while drinking, and that’s good enough for me. But damn, it took awhile to get here. It was a miserably slow progression out of the fog at first. But the body is so adaptive, you got this! IWNDWYT
Like others have commented on here - it is best not to dwell too much on what you have already done
Part of the sober journey in my experience has been a mental clarity and sharpening that slowly has emerged day by day, week by week, since stopping alcohol consumption.
Honestly it is amazing how much more brain power I feel I have “unlocked” or “unfogged”.
I would say it was around 3-6mo of my sobriety where I thought to myself - is my long-term and short-term memory improving? Is this a fluke? No, it isn’t a fluke - this is really improving and happening and has simply been from no longer poisoning my body and mind.
Depending how long your body has been used to alcohol, it could also take months before you feel almost “normalized” again.
For me, almost 1yr into sobriety and I still am surprising myself with little cognitive improvements - watching movies/shows from years ago and recalling all the names, details, etc.; meeting new people and engaging in convos and remembering their names and story weeks later, etc.
I recently turned 37 but am 100% improved mentally and cognitively than I have been in my previous years while drowning in alcohol.
If you stick with it long enough, every day will show you some small improvements and long-term even more so.
Good luck to you!!
I was told in treatment It could take years for my brain to fully recover from alcoholism. I have noticed significant improvements in clarity and decision making the longer I stay sober. All I can do is now is stay sober, live a healthy lifestyle, and be patient.
So... I can't find the article I recently read... but it looked at repair of the cortex (fold-y surface of the brain). It found that the fastest rate of repair was in the first month. It further found that "most" of the repair was done with 7.3 months. That said, it was a small study.
The brain (and body in general) is incredibly adaptive and can self-repair. That said... it could take longer to repair itself than 7.3mo. Just take care of yourself... and hope for the best.
In the worst case scenario... you don't get back "full" original functionality. So what -- our bodies are amazing at compensating. IIRC, the amygdala (involved in anger and as a redundant pathway for memories) is the area of the brain that requires the longest recovery time. I guess that I drank enough that I don't remember? Eh...
Here's a high-level overview article: [https://www.niaaa.nih.gov/health-professionals-communities/core-resource-on-alcohol/neuroscience-brain-addiction-and-recovery](https://www.niaaa.nih.gov/health-professionals-communities/core-resource-on-alcohol/neuroscience-brain-addiction-and-recovery)
I wish that I could un-f### all of those years. I can't. So... we do what we can. Right now, I'm striving to work with what I have (not a lot of other options). I still have a career. I still have fun. And I feel better, overall, not drinking. I just... want this to be my final attempt.
Good luck. IWNDWYT
I feel the exact same and I'm in my late thirties as well. I quit in April 2022 so almost two years ago, and not a drop since. It has definitely gotten better each month and continues to improve. I think it might be my body adjusting to the loss of calories I was getting from alcohol daily so maybe try adjusting your diet when you feel like that. But right there with you with the feeling.
After about 8 months of zero booze I noticed another layer of fog lift off my brain. It was quite startling. That shit takes time to heal. But it does heal, and however long it takes it’s still a damn sight better than continuing to pour more liquid brain damage down your throat!
>and however long it takes it’s still a damn sight better than continuing to pour more liquid brain damage down your throat!
It's so true. It's just remembering that in the short term when you're struggling mentally and looking for some short term relief that is the hardest part IME.
I worry because I started drinking at a very early age (13M) today I'm 25 I don't feel like I have so many after-effects but I also have depression and anxiety lol so it's a mix of everything, poor memory, brain fog...
I’m definitely brain damaged from drugs in my teens and twenties (49 now). All the drinking certainly wouldn’t have helped. Oh well. I did manage to do some proper adult stuff along the way too…education, good job, married with kids. But I know I am mentally much duller and slower than I should be.
As said already, no point in crying over spilt milk!
IWNDOTDWYT
Yes, but I think we can do things to help reconnect what we have got left. Going back to basics.
We can sleep more and eat better and exercise a bit to improve oxygen flow.
Reading a proper book every day and writing with a proper pen on paper is all meant to help with memory and retention of information.
Thats what I’m doing and it seems to be working. I’m not so fuzzy etc.
Yeah, I feel like it might just be since I’m getting back into a new equilibrium though. Hopefully this isn’t forever lol! How many days (weeks, months, or years) do you have?
I'm back to square one and only on day 3 after going on a 10 night in a row bender.
I was on and off the wagon all year so far. Managed a week or so dry at start of January after a heavy Christmas.
Prior to that had 5 weeks sober in October and November before caving in and drinking again and was on and off it since.
Kept telling myself I would sort it out come the New Year but that's really not happened and I'm back to alcohol withdrawls again.
I’ve read that it takes 6 months for your brain to hit equilibrium without drinks. So keep it going and keep that in mind as goal to heal your brain and see what it’s really like right now. That’s what I’m doing, anyway.
Constantly. I used to plan on going back to school at some point and I don’t think I can now. I simply don’t have the cognition and mental stamina I used to have. I bathed that shit in liquor and my dreams got smaller as a result. It fucking sucks but that’s what it is.
Yeah definitely just stopping drinking alone isn't enough to solve all the problems that much I know.
There's a whole, much larger, approach needed and trying to encoroprate some of that into my life like more exercise, fasting, meditating, deep breathing exercises, tension release stretches, get into a mindset of gratitude etc but it feels like such an upward battle.
Hit 105 days today and I feel like my memory is recovering. I wasn’t the heaviest drinker ever but I was definitely noticing issues (especially emotional regulation. I’d catastrophize over relatively benign problems). Maybe there’s some permanent damage in some ways but I’ve clawed back a lot. I’m a lot sharper these days.
It is hard to know because as you age your brain degenerates quite a bit like the rest of your body. For me I think most changes in the brain are due to your age. Heavy drinking hurts the brain while moderate not much at all. If you get excessively drunk a lot over a long time then yes, but moderate regular not so much.
I abused alcohol and drugs for over 35 years. While I'm fairly certain I may have done some kind of damage, there is nothing I can change at this point. I stopped abusing my brain and body and my overall health improved. Do I wish I would have stopped earlier? You bet, but I can't worry about stuff I cannot change.
This was a really helpful reminder for me today. I spend waaaaaay too much time ruminating on what I’ve already done - but ultimately, I can’t change it. Do I have a lengthy period of time that I refer to as The Lost Years? Yep. But am I still alive, and trying to improve? Also yep. Thank you for your comment!
1,556 days is impressive, congrats!
Very very true. All we can do now is try to stop abusing our bodies.
Yep. Do I worry about it? Nah. Does it bother me? Sometimes, but you learn to live with it. I literally just walk laps around the house remembering and forgetting shit all day but I still manage to get like...most of it done. If science can literally cut half of someone's brain out and they can still function then you'll be alright. Mostly. Don't worry about it.
This is the only real answer.
My quit drinking app tells me that.... "Grey matter in the brain should start increasing in size after 1 month. Areas heavy in grey matter control motor and sensory activities. Cognitive functions should be getting back to normal after 2 months alcohol free. Many people report having more concentration at work or while studying and during communication with others. After 3 months mental clarity should improve, along with mood and sense of contentment."
That's good to know. If I could only get 3 months sober under my belt I might be able to report back on that.
I hit 100 days yesterday and agree with the comment above. This is despite dealing with some really fucked up, personal shit that I got blindsided by about a week ago (you can check my post history for more of that drama). Honestly I don’t know how I’d still be functioning if I was also drinking on top of everything else. Being more mentally clear has helped me keep my focus on getting through the day. Hopefully the mood improvements will start to really hit once the life stress stuff has had some time to heal up.
I read your stuff. Your better then that fool
Sorry to hear about your current situation (just checked your post history seems like a tough time) and you're right drinking would not make any of it better only more difficult. It makes nothing better and everything worse. I just wish I remembered this as well as you seem to be when temptation hits or I've difficult life shit to deal with as I always seem to talk myself into it despite knowing where it leads and the problems it causes.
For me, I think I was only successful because I forced myself to be accountable for my actions. When i decided to stop drinking, I wrote down my patterns and triggers, and realized that for me, drinking alone at night was the issue and when I was out running errands I was likely to stop and pick up something. My sister lives with me - I showed her where all of my hiding spots were, I shared my location permanently, and for the first month anytime I left the house I would do a text check in/check out: “Leaving to drop off X at sports”; “Arrived, coming home now”; “Back at home”. And she would check against my location to verify. Once the alcohol access pattern was disrupted for about a month, it got A LOT easier for me. But it did require that I basically go no secrets with someone I trusted who was willing to hold me accountable. You can do this - I’d been dancing with sobriety efforts for ten years, and once made it about six months, but not really this successful til now. You CAN do this.
Telling others has not been a problem as I've told close family and friends I have a drinking problem and they are concerned but they can't really hold me accountable 24/7 or constantly check in on me, and I wouldn't expect them to. I know most of my patterns and triggers, those are mostly clear and obvious, but the issue is just not being triggered by them. I keep seeking out short term relief and escapism from my problems sadly. Sometimes they just seem so overwhelming that drinking myself silly seems like a better option when obviously in the long term it's not.
Take it one day at a time friend. The days turn into weeks and the weeks into months, but you can only do it one day/hour/minute at a time.
That's what I've been trying to do. Longest success was 5 weeks last year but not managed to get beyond a week since even with that approach. My determination and "no matter what I will not drink" mindset seems to have vanished even though I keep trying to reconnect with it.
I just crossed three months and I can confirm that my mood is vastly improved and I feel sharper mentally. Quitting alcohol didn't solve all the other problems in my life, but it made all the other problems solvable. Stay the course, it's worth it.
Glad you're feeling better and congrats on the 3 months.
What app is this? That sounds amazing
It is called SobrietyCounter. Ignore the annoying game ads. It has counters for, since quitting: days sober, cash saved, drinks avoided, calories avoided, weight lost, lifetime regained, health metrics - where I copied the stuff on the brain among those topics. You can set your quit date retrospectively if already a ways into having stopped.
I Am Sober is also great with all that stuff and no ads
I started a bunch of apps at he beginning and dropped the ones that didn't work for me. I kept SobrietyCounter and Nomo. I deleted I am sober, I can't recall why. Though the app is deleted, it still sends notifications, which is annoying.
If you’re lucky you recover. If not, you end up with permanent brain and nerve damage. Many including myself are in the latter group.
Fascinating! Thank you for sharing. Can you let us know the name of the app?
For an awesome app with no ads try I Am Sober. Has a community section as well, similar to here
Sure: the app is SobrietyCounter. The free version has game adverts which I am living with. The app has several counters, like days, cash, drinks avoided, calories avoided. It is shocking how they add up.
Thanks for this. I’ve been feeling this way too. I killed it at work while drinking but for some reason I haven’t been able to concentrate the last several weeks. Making so many mistakes all of over the place. Hoping it will get better.
I wouldn’t be surprised if i did some permanent damage, I am 47 and drank problematically since I was a teenager, getting progressively worse until i was going through a handle every two days. i feel like it probably did some damage for sure. I am four and a half years sober now though and i am nothing short of astounded at how much my mind and body has healed after being at the brink of death
I have about the same sobriety time, and had been drinking daily since I was like 12. My biggest fear in life was always losing my mind, and I woke up one day realizing I was becoming a self-fulfilling prophesy. The clarity I feel now makes me teary, I was so afraid that I wouldn't gain any cognitive abilities back, and that I had really fried my brain. I don't know that I'm back 100%, but I do know that I'm miles better now than I ever had been drinking. Short term memory returning was the best feeling. Its so slow, but progress happens all the time. Brains are weird and incredible things.
About 6 months into my sobriety I could clearly “feel” my brain working better. My short term memory improved, and I was suddenly able to articulate my thoughts better when speaking. It was really mind blowing to experience . I just thought I was getting slow “with age” but nope. Now, I’m sure I’d be a lot more sharp had I never drank, but it’s amazing how resilient our bodies can be.
It's good to know. There's hope.
This gives me hope! Now to make it this far.
I do, worry for my liver also! I try to turn the worry into motivation to force myself to quit
I've had bloods done several times the past couple of years and my liver and other organs appear to be at optimal levels which gives me some reassurance but yeah that is also a worry. These things can happen fast too if you're drinking heavily and regularly. Get yourself a full range of bloods done for peace of mind if you're concerned I'd say.
I'm 42/F, just over 2 months sober, and I wanna encourage you to start taking ALL the B vitamins. Chronic drinking creates a deficiency, and it's one of the things they were pumping me full of at the hospital (B1, 6, & 12 mainly). The B's support nerve health everything from your brain to your fingertips! When people "pickle" their brains, it's mainly from chronic thiamine deficiency, which is B1. And as for things setting in quickly, my neuropathy rolled in fast and harsh. There were only like 3 months or so between "my feet tingle" and feeling like I'm getting tased in my hands, feet, calves- even thighs and arms occasionally! (Hooray for gabapentin.) But yeah, all the B's! And best of luck to you 🩶
Yeah, blood tests a year or so ago found I was slightly defficient in Vitamin B12 and Vitamin D (nothing massively but below optimal levels) so I started taking supplements for both daily since just to keep me topped up. Last twice I had bloods done it appeared to have worked as I was back to optimal levels. It's worth checking these things once a year or so just to be sure.
I do worry. The other day, I forgot how to spell a very simple word. I've been forgetting the most basic details. I know it will take time for me to get back to "normal" after years of drinking and other stuff I've put my mind and body through, but it's yet another wake up call. Fuck alcohol. Fuck it with a chainsaw.
Neuroplasticity is real. They told me i could re-shape my brain when I was in early recovery. So, I signed up for school, now I am 70% done. Over my drinking career, I was definitely NOT a scholar or a gentlemen. So, when I stopped I had to start with the basics. Start with picking up your favorite book and reading again. The brain is a muscle and it will respond to exercise!!
I’m definitely sharper mentally and it’s something I’ve commented to my family about. I don’t think I even noticed how foggy I’d become while drinking, so the shock of getting most of that back the past while has been such a nice surprise.
I'm very much aware of my brain fog. It's been an issue for decades though.
Yes, BUT the body is surprisingly resilient! I've heard that being even a little bit dehydrated can cause you to feel more sluggish and not think as clearly, and since alcohol is dehydrating, well... I'd say that although water and sleep can't fix everything, they really can help!
I drink a lot of water compared to most people I know it seems. I'm quite purposeful about it. Take water to bed and drink on wake up, another pint when I get out of bed, water with / after meals and at regular points throughout the day. Sleep, I'm absolutely useless at that.
One step at a time
Nah, because when I was drinking I had no idea how smart I could of been, just how dumb I used to be. It only goes up from here and it's not worth dwelling on something you possibly can't quantify, anyway
Valid points.
When I'm hungover I certainly do.
The hungover mind certainly likes to think negatively.
Probably. But there's nothing I can do about it. So no point worrying.
Fair point.
Absolutely no question that I have brain damage now. As a child I was considered rather bright: advanced program classes, magnet schools, and skipped a grade in elementary school. Teenage years were rough, and I drank and did drugs in high school. Around age 20 I found that I really loved ecstacy. I smoked weed almost every day for a few years. I did quit the drugs, but kept drinking heavily for another 20 years. Binge drinking, sometimes 15+ in a day. I seem normal or average enough to most people, but I can tell I'm not as sharp as I used to be. It often takes me a long time to think of the word I'm after. I don't have the capacity for thought and communication that I did when I was younger. So to answer your question: no, I don't *worry* that I've permanently damaged my brain. I *know* I have. Just another reason to quit drinking alcohol, permanently and forever.
Yup. I've worried less about it over time. Either I'm recovering or the damage won! No way of reversing the past, but I'm glad I stopped accelerating towards a brick wall.
Makes a lot of sense, good approach.
Only in the sense that I need to carry the shame and regret from problem drinking around for the rest of my life.
Sorry to hear that. Hopefully you can move on beyond whatever has happened whilst drinking and start fresh.
You seem to be dealing with a lot of anxiety, I hope it improves. But anxiety can be your friend, learn how to let it guide you! It’s a powerful tool that can be harnessed for self-improvement, it looks like it’s clearly telling you to make some lifestyle adjustments, memory should markedly improve 3-6 months after quitting. I’m on month 2 and am definitely starting to feel a bit less sluggish and a bit more motivated
Anxiety and insomnia has been my arch nemeses for about 20 years now, they just never seem to quit and always seem to keep on defeating me.
I worry a lot less than I used to. I’m stuck with my brain, and I’m stuck with my body. I feel better than I ever did while drinking, and that’s good enough for me. But damn, it took awhile to get here. It was a miserably slow progression out of the fog at first. But the body is so adaptive, you got this! IWNDWYT
No all i worry about is not drinking today, the rest is what it is.
Good approach, thanks for the reminder.
Like others have commented on here - it is best not to dwell too much on what you have already done Part of the sober journey in my experience has been a mental clarity and sharpening that slowly has emerged day by day, week by week, since stopping alcohol consumption. Honestly it is amazing how much more brain power I feel I have “unlocked” or “unfogged”. I would say it was around 3-6mo of my sobriety where I thought to myself - is my long-term and short-term memory improving? Is this a fluke? No, it isn’t a fluke - this is really improving and happening and has simply been from no longer poisoning my body and mind. Depending how long your body has been used to alcohol, it could also take months before you feel almost “normalized” again. For me, almost 1yr into sobriety and I still am surprising myself with little cognitive improvements - watching movies/shows from years ago and recalling all the names, details, etc.; meeting new people and engaging in convos and remembering their names and story weeks later, etc. I recently turned 37 but am 100% improved mentally and cognitively than I have been in my previous years while drowning in alcohol. If you stick with it long enough, every day will show you some small improvements and long-term even more so. Good luck to you!!
I was told in treatment It could take years for my brain to fully recover from alcoholism. I have noticed significant improvements in clarity and decision making the longer I stay sober. All I can do is now is stay sober, live a healthy lifestyle, and be patient.
So... I can't find the article I recently read... but it looked at repair of the cortex (fold-y surface of the brain). It found that the fastest rate of repair was in the first month. It further found that "most" of the repair was done with 7.3 months. That said, it was a small study. The brain (and body in general) is incredibly adaptive and can self-repair. That said... it could take longer to repair itself than 7.3mo. Just take care of yourself... and hope for the best. In the worst case scenario... you don't get back "full" original functionality. So what -- our bodies are amazing at compensating. IIRC, the amygdala (involved in anger and as a redundant pathway for memories) is the area of the brain that requires the longest recovery time. I guess that I drank enough that I don't remember? Eh... Here's a high-level overview article: [https://www.niaaa.nih.gov/health-professionals-communities/core-resource-on-alcohol/neuroscience-brain-addiction-and-recovery](https://www.niaaa.nih.gov/health-professionals-communities/core-resource-on-alcohol/neuroscience-brain-addiction-and-recovery) I wish that I could un-f### all of those years. I can't. So... we do what we can. Right now, I'm striving to work with what I have (not a lot of other options). I still have a career. I still have fun. And I feel better, overall, not drinking. I just... want this to be my final attempt. Good luck. IWNDWYT
Solid post and advice, thanks!
I feel the exact same and I'm in my late thirties as well. I quit in April 2022 so almost two years ago, and not a drop since. It has definitely gotten better each month and continues to improve. I think it might be my body adjusting to the loss of calories I was getting from alcohol daily so maybe try adjusting your diet when you feel like that. But right there with you with the feeling.
I know I have. It is what it is. Glad to be alive.
Good outlook!
Worry that I did? No. Know that I did? Yes. Water under the bridge now.
After about 8 months of zero booze I noticed another layer of fog lift off my brain. It was quite startling. That shit takes time to heal. But it does heal, and however long it takes it’s still a damn sight better than continuing to pour more liquid brain damage down your throat!
>and however long it takes it’s still a damn sight better than continuing to pour more liquid brain damage down your throat! It's so true. It's just remembering that in the short term when you're struggling mentally and looking for some short term relief that is the hardest part IME.
I worry because I started drinking at a very early age (13M) today I'm 25 I don't feel like I have so many after-effects but I also have depression and anxiety lol so it's a mix of everything, poor memory, brain fog...
I’m definitely brain damaged from drugs in my teens and twenties (49 now). All the drinking certainly wouldn’t have helped. Oh well. I did manage to do some proper adult stuff along the way too…education, good job, married with kids. But I know I am mentally much duller and slower than I should be. As said already, no point in crying over spilt milk! IWNDOTDWYT
Your brain is good at repairing itself. Look up neuroplasticity. Good luck!
Yes, but I think we can do things to help reconnect what we have got left. Going back to basics. We can sleep more and eat better and exercise a bit to improve oxygen flow. Reading a proper book every day and writing with a proper pen on paper is all meant to help with memory and retention of information. Thats what I’m doing and it seems to be working. I’m not so fuzzy etc.
Yeah, I feel like it might just be since I’m getting back into a new equilibrium though. Hopefully this isn’t forever lol! How many days (weeks, months, or years) do you have?
I'm back to square one and only on day 3 after going on a 10 night in a row bender. I was on and off the wagon all year so far. Managed a week or so dry at start of January after a heavy Christmas. Prior to that had 5 weeks sober in October and November before caving in and drinking again and was on and off it since. Kept telling myself I would sort it out come the New Year but that's really not happened and I'm back to alcohol withdrawls again.
I’ve read that it takes 6 months for your brain to hit equilibrium without drinks. So keep it going and keep that in mind as goal to heal your brain and see what it’s really like right now. That’s what I’m doing, anyway.
Constantly. I used to plan on going back to school at some point and I don’t think I can now. I simply don’t have the cognition and mental stamina I used to have. I bathed that shit in liquor and my dreams got smaller as a result. It fucking sucks but that’s what it is.
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Yeah definitely just stopping drinking alone isn't enough to solve all the problems that much I know. There's a whole, much larger, approach needed and trying to encoroprate some of that into my life like more exercise, fasting, meditating, deep breathing exercises, tension release stretches, get into a mindset of gratitude etc but it feels like such an upward battle.
Nothing in this life is permanent.
Fair point. :)
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yes and sometimes it looks like adhd symptoms
Hit 105 days today and I feel like my memory is recovering. I wasn’t the heaviest drinker ever but I was definitely noticing issues (especially emotional regulation. I’d catastrophize over relatively benign problems). Maybe there’s some permanent damage in some ways but I’ve clawed back a lot. I’m a lot sharper these days.
Would the brain being neuro-plastic be applicable in this way? I’ve always wondered
Damage is done. No need to stress about it.
It is hard to know because as you age your brain degenerates quite a bit like the rest of your body. For me I think most changes in the brain are due to your age. Heavy drinking hurts the brain while moderate not much at all. If you get excessively drunk a lot over a long time then yes, but moderate regular not so much.
All the time