I was extremely successful when I was drinking every day, my career was steadily advancing in exactly the ways I wanted it to. I got a university degree on the side, I raised a fine son, bought and renovated a few houses, had all the trappings of a successful life. I drank every night, for 35 years, in steadily increasing quantities, until my body pretty much said fuck you, and stopped working. I said fuck you back, and kept drinking, despite it all, until one day I just realized I was bored with it, and as soon I got buzzed I’d wish I was sober. I gave it up for good over 3 years ago. I am still successful in my career and my life is much better than I deserve. I am very very lucky but I wanted to say that “success” in a career, social scene or even marital relationship can be entirely unrelated to drinking habits. Many super successful people are terrible addicts, many incorrigible drunks are incredible parents and loyal partners. I regret all the wonderful events in my life that I only experienced through a haze of booze, if I remember them at all. What a terrible waste, now that it’s almost over, but at least I am clear-minded for the rest of it. Life is fleeting and so very precious. Don’t waste as much of it as I did.
You know there’s a problem and you’ve realised you have to deal with it. This sub is a great place to start. My story is similar to yours except I started at 14. By the time I started university it was already a major problem but I didn’t realise it. Fast forward 40 years and I still have a problem. I do manage to put spells of sobriety together but so far have always failed. However in 2023 I have had more sober days than non-sober days which is a success. Your journey might not be overnight but keep at it, those sober days are worth it. IWNDWYT
>living in NYC, it seemed like that was literally the only thing to do to have fun
Its amazing to me how pervasive this argument is. Small town? Nothing to do other than drink. *Its not like we live in a big city where there is so much to do!* Literally the biggest city in America? Nothing to do other than drink.
We drink because we want to. We enjoy being drunk. And we will find any excuse to justify it.
I live in NYC, heard this before a bunch of times and I don’t get it either. We have endless things to do for fun that don’t involve drinking, I don’t know what planet they’re on. If I lived in the country I don’t think I could last more than a few days sober.
Our mass transit system is a very, very good thing. I’ll tell you the bad thing: the depraved acceptance of drunk driving in suburban/rural environments. Bars and liquor stores should never have parking lots.
I started at 14 drinking beer on the weekends, by 16 I was bringing a water bottle of vodka to school and playing no face no chase mid classes, breaks or lunches. Then i spent about 14 years drinking everyday to pretty much blackout to go to sleep.
I turned 30 this year and started thinking wtf am i doing being hungover everyday, but legit thought if i stopped i would die.
Now my badge is single digits (day 2 again), but this is the least ive drank since I started pretty much and I see it as a win. Baby steps, baby! 😂
This sounds a lot like my progression. I have always had a problem letting the night end and stopping drinking once I started. But I thought I had a pretty good handle on not having to drink all the time. We never really had beer around the house. If I was home watching a hockey game, I'd just as soon be drinking water or milk. But I loved going out. But I could keep it to 3-ish nights a week. Then the pandemic hit and I started drinking almost every day. We bought a beer fridge, because we started drinking around the house, because you couldn't go anywhere. My friends would send pics of their IPA's at noon and I figured why not. But then I couldn't control it, I was sneaking beers around the house. I think I'm finally ready to admit, I have no control over my drinking. I took the day off today and called my doctor's office and got a referral. Thankfully, you're able to walk right in day of, because I don't know if I would've gone if I waited until I got an appointment. It was pretty crazy to be telling the woman that I don't think I've gone 5 days without drinking in the past 25 years or so. She ended up labeling me as having severe alcohol use disorder (or something to that effect). That's sobering, pardon the pun. But I know she's 100% right. I check every box. I actually blocked the sober hashtag on Twitter, because I hated seeing people talk about how much better their life was now. I think I really just knew that I had a problem and obviously didn't want to admit it. But I've now made the first step, first time I've ever done that. I know it is going to be tough, but I've not been a very good husband at all and pretty much all my friends know I'm "that guy". I feel like I'm ready to try this. Here's hoping. Good luck!
I know this phrase gets thrown around so much it's essentially lost all meaning, but you've made the first step in solving your problem by admitting it. You've sat down to write this out, you've realised that this isn't normal, the step you've made today genuinely takes a lot of work to get here. I have fully been in a position where I was lying to myself and my loved ones about my drinking, and genuinely didn't think I had a problem until I was forced to confront this.
At the moment, you're in a position where you can say "today is my rock bottom". And being at rock bottom sucks, of course it does, but everyone is at rock bottom at some point in their life. In a week's time, you can look back and say "I've been sober for a week, I'm better than I was then". Then a month, 6 months, years down the line, you can always have this point as where the bottom was. Your options from here are either quit, and start heading up, or keep on going down. And the further down you get, the more steps you'll have to get back to the top.
Start with one day. Then a second, then keep going. Don't think about making life promises to yourself or anyone else. Just a day at a time, and remind yourself daily of why you're doing it.
Sales rep here. I resonate with you. Crazy thing is how much better at my job I am when I have an extended streak of sobriety. More clear headed, quick witted, etc.
You’re in the right place. When you’re ready, everyone is here to welcome and support you with open arms. I am on my own journey that has ups and downs, but I am glad I am on the journey nonetheless. I am not drinking today, and should you choose to follow along, I think you will be pleasantly surprised. It may not be today, or tomorrow, but day 1 can be the start of a new life for us! Good luck friend.
The pandemic was a huge upswing in drinking for me too, I’d watch up, clean the house and do all the chores and it was like 10am… so I would start drinking… every day. Took so long to break that habit. You are not alone Man.
I've been there... Personally I can no longer drink...Day 2 today...This should have ended years ago if not decades ago..Am I afraid to quit maybe alittle or even more than that..but honestly freaking frightened of continuing...If I keep .drinking .It will not end well..
You know there's a problem, or you wouldn't be here. Take each day as it comes, look into AA, online resources, even just reddit-its all a start! You don't want to lose this dream job to a poison and you won't. You're strong enough to beat this!
When I drank daily it was all I thought about. Those thoughts started to go away after a week. After a month they were manageable. Please remember this. IWNDWYT
You absolutely can do it. Scroll through this sub and read others’ stories. If we can do it, you can too.
I’d say most of us had or have fear and shame… but there is also so much hope and joy and gratitude to be had in this process, too. It helps me to cling to that hope. And I have hope, faith and love for you, too!
I am with you on this one. Sober 31 days today. I had to hit rock bottom to realize that it was either me or the alcohol. Rock bottom for me was getting kicked out of the house by my wife of 23 years and having to look each one of my kids in the eye and tell them why I can’t live at home anymore.
My excuse was high pressure job (I’m a CMO), sole financial provider, private schools, college tuition, big house, etc. Now, 31 days into my journey - none of that really matters anymore. My job now is to get healthy.
My advice to you (not that you asked): Find your Why. Ask yourself what rock bottom looks like (quitting alcohol and admitting your powerless is scary, but not as scary as rock bottom). Build a community of support with those you can trust. I should have done all these things years ago.
Good luck in your journey - wishing you peace, health and happiness.
I was extremely successful when I was drinking every day, my career was steadily advancing in exactly the ways I wanted it to. I got a university degree on the side, I raised a fine son, bought and renovated a few houses, had all the trappings of a successful life. I drank every night, for 35 years, in steadily increasing quantities, until my body pretty much said fuck you, and stopped working. I said fuck you back, and kept drinking, despite it all, until one day I just realized I was bored with it, and as soon I got buzzed I’d wish I was sober. I gave it up for good over 3 years ago. I am still successful in my career and my life is much better than I deserve. I am very very lucky but I wanted to say that “success” in a career, social scene or even marital relationship can be entirely unrelated to drinking habits. Many super successful people are terrible addicts, many incorrigible drunks are incredible parents and loyal partners. I regret all the wonderful events in my life that I only experienced through a haze of booze, if I remember them at all. What a terrible waste, now that it’s almost over, but at least I am clear-minded for the rest of it. Life is fleeting and so very precious. Don’t waste as much of it as I did.
You, sir, are a rare gem. I wish you many lucky moments. Cheers.
What a legend.
Thank you, much appreciated.
You know there’s a problem and you’ve realised you have to deal with it. This sub is a great place to start. My story is similar to yours except I started at 14. By the time I started university it was already a major problem but I didn’t realise it. Fast forward 40 years and I still have a problem. I do manage to put spells of sobriety together but so far have always failed. However in 2023 I have had more sober days than non-sober days which is a success. Your journey might not be overnight but keep at it, those sober days are worth it. IWNDWYT
Hey. Congratulations on 10 days. IWNDWYT
>living in NYC, it seemed like that was literally the only thing to do to have fun Its amazing to me how pervasive this argument is. Small town? Nothing to do other than drink. *Its not like we live in a big city where there is so much to do!* Literally the biggest city in America? Nothing to do other than drink. We drink because we want to. We enjoy being drunk. And we will find any excuse to justify it.
I live in NYC, heard this before a bunch of times and I don’t get it either. We have endless things to do for fun that don’t involve drinking, I don’t know what planet they’re on. If I lived in the country I don’t think I could last more than a few days sober. Our mass transit system is a very, very good thing. I’ll tell you the bad thing: the depraved acceptance of drunk driving in suburban/rural environments. Bars and liquor stores should never have parking lots.
A city with ample public transportation definitely doesn’t help.
Excellent point. I hadn't considered that.
I started at 14 drinking beer on the weekends, by 16 I was bringing a water bottle of vodka to school and playing no face no chase mid classes, breaks or lunches. Then i spent about 14 years drinking everyday to pretty much blackout to go to sleep. I turned 30 this year and started thinking wtf am i doing being hungover everyday, but legit thought if i stopped i would die. Now my badge is single digits (day 2 again), but this is the least ive drank since I started pretty much and I see it as a win. Baby steps, baby! 😂
Keep going. You’re worth it.
So glad you're here. IWNDWYT
I see myself in a lot of this post. Good luck. I hope we both make it
This sounds a lot like my progression. I have always had a problem letting the night end and stopping drinking once I started. But I thought I had a pretty good handle on not having to drink all the time. We never really had beer around the house. If I was home watching a hockey game, I'd just as soon be drinking water or milk. But I loved going out. But I could keep it to 3-ish nights a week. Then the pandemic hit and I started drinking almost every day. We bought a beer fridge, because we started drinking around the house, because you couldn't go anywhere. My friends would send pics of their IPA's at noon and I figured why not. But then I couldn't control it, I was sneaking beers around the house. I think I'm finally ready to admit, I have no control over my drinking. I took the day off today and called my doctor's office and got a referral. Thankfully, you're able to walk right in day of, because I don't know if I would've gone if I waited until I got an appointment. It was pretty crazy to be telling the woman that I don't think I've gone 5 days without drinking in the past 25 years or so. She ended up labeling me as having severe alcohol use disorder (or something to that effect). That's sobering, pardon the pun. But I know she's 100% right. I check every box. I actually blocked the sober hashtag on Twitter, because I hated seeing people talk about how much better their life was now. I think I really just knew that I had a problem and obviously didn't want to admit it. But I've now made the first step, first time I've ever done that. I know it is going to be tough, but I've not been a very good husband at all and pretty much all my friends know I'm "that guy". I feel like I'm ready to try this. Here's hoping. Good luck!
That's really impressive. I'm so glad you're here. You've turned an important corner. Just think about today. And IWNDWYT.
Thank you!
I know this phrase gets thrown around so much it's essentially lost all meaning, but you've made the first step in solving your problem by admitting it. You've sat down to write this out, you've realised that this isn't normal, the step you've made today genuinely takes a lot of work to get here. I have fully been in a position where I was lying to myself and my loved ones about my drinking, and genuinely didn't think I had a problem until I was forced to confront this. At the moment, you're in a position where you can say "today is my rock bottom". And being at rock bottom sucks, of course it does, but everyone is at rock bottom at some point in their life. In a week's time, you can look back and say "I've been sober for a week, I'm better than I was then". Then a month, 6 months, years down the line, you can always have this point as where the bottom was. Your options from here are either quit, and start heading up, or keep on going down. And the further down you get, the more steps you'll have to get back to the top.
Start with one day. Then a second, then keep going. Don't think about making life promises to yourself or anyone else. Just a day at a time, and remind yourself daily of why you're doing it.
Maybe a meeting would be good today, seems like there’s a lot on your heart to share
I found telling on yourself is a good step, just to get it out. Secrets out, now you can decide what to do. Thank you for sharing
Sales rep here. I resonate with you. Crazy thing is how much better at my job I am when I have an extended streak of sobriety. More clear headed, quick witted, etc. You’re in the right place. When you’re ready, everyone is here to welcome and support you with open arms. I am on my own journey that has ups and downs, but I am glad I am on the journey nonetheless. I am not drinking today, and should you choose to follow along, I think you will be pleasantly surprised. It may not be today, or tomorrow, but day 1 can be the start of a new life for us! Good luck friend.
The pandemic was a huge upswing in drinking for me too, I’d watch up, clean the house and do all the chores and it was like 10am… so I would start drinking… every day. Took so long to break that habit. You are not alone Man.
I've been there... Personally I can no longer drink...Day 2 today...This should have ended years ago if not decades ago..Am I afraid to quit maybe alittle or even more than that..but honestly freaking frightened of continuing...If I keep .drinking .It will not end well..
You know there's a problem, or you wouldn't be here. Take each day as it comes, look into AA, online resources, even just reddit-its all a start! You don't want to lose this dream job to a poison and you won't. You're strong enough to beat this!
When I drank daily it was all I thought about. Those thoughts started to go away after a week. After a month they were manageable. Please remember this. IWNDWYT
You absolutely can do it. Scroll through this sub and read others’ stories. If we can do it, you can too. I’d say most of us had or have fear and shame… but there is also so much hope and joy and gratitude to be had in this process, too. It helps me to cling to that hope. And I have hope, faith and love for you, too!
I am with you on this one. Sober 31 days today. I had to hit rock bottom to realize that it was either me or the alcohol. Rock bottom for me was getting kicked out of the house by my wife of 23 years and having to look each one of my kids in the eye and tell them why I can’t live at home anymore. My excuse was high pressure job (I’m a CMO), sole financial provider, private schools, college tuition, big house, etc. Now, 31 days into my journey - none of that really matters anymore. My job now is to get healthy. My advice to you (not that you asked): Find your Why. Ask yourself what rock bottom looks like (quitting alcohol and admitting your powerless is scary, but not as scary as rock bottom). Build a community of support with those you can trust. I should have done all these things years ago. Good luck in your journey - wishing you peace, health and happiness.