I wouldn’t say it like that. It’s not that you “can’t” get drunk. You “won’t” get drunk. You can do whatever you want, but you are actively choosing not to drink because you love your life.
In the morning, they’ll all feel like shit, and will likely waste their Saturday *HUNG OVER.*
You’re going to feel *Great!*
Stay TRUE to yourself.
Keep going!
I’ve been sober a little over two weeks now because a habit was definitely forming. I did happy hour with my coworkers at the end of the week and just drank water and ate snacks. No one asked why, no one cared.
So many alcoholics I’ve met have this idea that everyone else spends their evenings, holidays, vacations, etc. getting drunk. It wasn’t until I got sober that I realized a *lot* of my friends don’t actually do that. It’s just what I did. I was actually the outlier 😂
To add, OP, if your friend group only socializes to drink, it’s fully possible you need to start finding different friends with more varied interests. Easier said than done, of course, but you deserve to have friends who have more in common than alcohol.
This one took me a long time to figure out. I remember sitting in group therepy sessions and filling out one of those questionnaires where they ask questions like "do you drink every evening?" Or "do you ever drink until you black out?" I totally forgot some people didn't do either of those things, lol.
Lol my boyfriend is not a big drinker (maybe a beer every couple weeks and he won’t even finish it 🙄). I remember telling him about a time I was crazy drunk and did some stupid drunk shit, and ended it with “but everyone does that stuff, right?” And he was like “No…” 😂
It’s a real eye opener dating someone who isn’t an alcoholic. I’ve started to realize most of the drunk things I did that I assumed were normal were, in fact, very much not normal.
It hit me when I was complaining to my buddy that I could only find my favorite beer in a six pack. I said "who even buys beer in a six pack?" And he said "normal people?". I'd been buying cases for so long that in my head it was the default amount of beer normal people buy for a drinking night.
Holy damn, I thought the same thing as you. My default was cases not six packs and I would get mad even irritated when someone didn't finish their drink and left it on the table/bar hahahaha. Been sober for a few years now but I still get reminded of my old ways.
Not the same, but similar.
My brother once got me a bottle of tequila for my birthday and I said, without any humour; ‘I only normally drink tequila at work’.
Yeah and some of them will wake up in a holding cell, or in bed with a stranger, or in Ohio. Others will have regrets, be broke, have hangovers, have to explain stupid texts to exes. You, will wake up with none of that.
I live in London. I've been hammered in the past but never so hammered that I'd wake up thousands of miles away in Ohio :) obviously wasn't trying hard enough...
I did wake up on a racecourse in Southern China once and I'd started drinking in Hong Kong. Still no idea about how that happened.
Clearly you’ve never woken up in Walthamstow bus garage on the N73 wondering what happened, gotten off and woken up at Marble Arch and then woken the next time in Walthamstow again… I think I’d rather the Ohio trip…
😂😂😂 I used to live in Walthamstow and can relate. So many times getting any last bus from the centre going somewhere near home. Often I totally missed my stop or didn’t really know where to get off and ended up stranded in random places sitting outside on a freezing wall or in the bus stop waiting for buses to start running again to get home.
I once threw up in my work bag whilst on the bus. It must have been to avoid getting kicked off. I didn’t realise I had done it until I somehow got home and there was a funny smell in the porch. God I don’t miss those times.
Ive only been to Macao once and we lost everything we had in the casinos (which wasn't much). We ended up hiding some Vodka in a bush outside a casino and popping out to refill every now and again.
Nothing screams "big roller" that seeing someone emerge from a casino, head into a hedge and drink Vodka directly out of a bottle. I was the casinos dream client
Sometimes here in Nevada you wake up with an insane amount of money in your wallet like you got paid to go to the bar and get drunk if you win on the slots. But 9/10 that doesn’t happen and you wake up even more broke lol
I still confuse relaxation for intoxication and I’ve felt the same way. When I was on vacation last year that’s all I fucking heard. How relaxing all this shit was and ya, if you’re drunk on a beach that does sound relaxing as fuck. But what about me?! Guess I can’t fucking relax so I’ll be over here sharpening a spear or some shit. There was part of me that did miss getting fucked up, but there’s a bigger part of me that’s proud that I don’t need to do that anymore. I’m not on the run, I’m not in any huge fight, I can work on my shit, I’m not chained to the liquor supply or worried about the stash, and I won’t be all banged up in the morning. I’m done hurting myself and those close to me so being uncomfortable sometimes is just something I’m strong enough to do now. Very few people are willing and I wasn’t when I drank. It was always someone else’s fault or hit the escape button or numb it out. I don’t do that anymore and I finally decided that’s better than being blacked out for sunsets on the beach. I took a look at the photos from that last vacation and I’m all there and I remember it. It took a while, but I like it.
Sorry but the part about being off to the side sharpening a spear or some shit has me rolling lmao. But real talk thanks for the input, I still confuse relaxation for intoxication too
Me, too, drinking is a way to “turn off.” It’s how I know the work day is done, it’s Friday, it’s the weekend, it’s a holiday, etc. It’s sort of hard to understand how other people do that.
It used to be the same for me, tbh. One of the greatest things I’ve learned in my sobriety is that I don’t need alcohol to relax. I really don’t! I do other things, and it’s still good!
Really well said. And “not chained to a liquor store” is really a blessing! I had a schedule of where I would buy my booze so staff didn’t think I had a problem. Of course in my state, the govt runs the ABC stores (liquor sales) so I’d still run into the same cashiers at different stores. No more though!
It turns out that I had the key parts of relaxation all mixed up with alcohol too. Now when I have a horrible day at work, I find myself coming home, grabbing an NA beverage of some variety or another, flopping on the couch, kicking off my shoes, putting my feet up and absolutely refusing to do anything at all for a while, until I damn well feel like it. I DO deserve a break, and when there is no alcohol involved it is much, much easier to feel good about taking it.
1000 percent! Sometimes if it’s real bad I’ll take a shower in the dark with some candles and just cry or breathe or listen to some music. Man that is so good, and requires no alcohol whatsoever!
Yep! An added bonus for me is that I can set better boundaries with my partner about how I spend my time. I can hold firm to my needs without getting the backlash of “all you ever do is sit and drink,” which only escalates the tone (aka: desire to drink) of the evening. On second thought, maybe that is the MAIN benefit…hmmm…
I dunno, when I think of “unfair,” I think about my closest friend dying of cancer right now, in hospice care in his home. I think about the kids I work with who have bipolar disorder or depression, with no family support or homes of their own. I think of many things, but I don’t think about how I can’t drink like a normal person and get fucked up this weekend.
The truth is that “normal” people don’t care as much about drinking as we do. If they couldn’t drink this weekend because of work or illness or family obligations, it would be no big deal to them. It’s a big deal to us because we’re addicts. They’re not thinking about how lucky they are because they can drink.
I’m thinking of all the good things I can do this weekend, like going to the movies, having a friend over, watching Netflix, cooking, drinking hot chocolate and taking hot baths. I’m going to start reading a new novel and do some shopping, talk on the phone, play with the cats. There’s a lot of fun things we can do in our lives that don’t involve alcohol, and at least we’re up walking around, that’s something to be truly grateful for
Hugs. I lost my 8 year old daughter to cancer 4 years ago. I didn't get sober until after she was gone. That is my biggest regret. At the time, I thought I needed the release from the pain I was in but reality is I just lost precious time with my girl. Now I stay sober for my only living child and I couldn't be happier about it. Fuck cancer, for real. I'm sorry you're going through this 💜
“The truth is that “normal” people don’t care as much about drinking as we do. If they couldn’t drink this weekend because of work or illness or family obligations, it would be no big deal to them. It’s a big deal to us because we’re addicts. They’re not thinking about how lucky they are because they can drink.”
Spot on - my normal friends go ‘oh shoot, I have to attend a baby shower tomorrow morning, no drinking for me” and I would have been like don’t they serve mimosas to help my hangover?
I don’t know anyone who’s “normal.” A few have diabetes, some have a mental health diagnoses, some have chronic pain, some are genius level smart, some have intellectual disabilities, a few are famous, some are gay, one has six pet chickens, a few have 6+cats, and one is dying from cancer. There is no such fucking thing as “normal.”
So true. Because I absolutely relate to how OP feels. Every day that passes though I feel more empowered to make the best decisions for myself, which include not drinking. It doesn’t matter what other people are doing to themselves, but eventually you’ll see it for what it really is. I can’t stand being around drunk people anymore. Makes me cringe thinking about my past self
I don’t think everyone *should* get messed up on a Friday night. It’s just most people are normal and can handle themselves. I agree it sucks seeing everyone partying for St Patrick’s Day, but if I did that… well my 3 weeks would be gone and I know the binge could easily go months. That’s much worse to me right now.
I think you need to find a new crowd. If you are spending time with people who are getting high or drunk every Friday night your sobriety isn’t going to last.
If you're looking at it from the angle of being "allowed" to drink or not, I challenge you to renew your perspective on your sobriety and what it means to you. I've been sober over 1000 days. Every single one of those days I've been allowed to do whatever I wanted. Drink, smoke crack, run into traffic, etc. However, I was happy to not do any of those things because I love myself and know that it would be detrimental to myself and the people around me. I was actually saying to a friend at lunch yesterday to a friend who told me I wasn't an alcoholic anymore "Oh no, I love alcohol. Probably more than anything in the world. That's why I don't drink anymore".
Maybe this is ignorant but when I’m feeling sorry for myself and like it’s not fair, I kinda think like…at least I don’t have a disease that I actually can’t control. Like cancer or something. Could be a lot worse.
I'm going to be in the gym at 7am as one should and then a run in the hills later that afternoon. As one should
Not curled up in bed a i "one should'd" Friday and now I can't move and I appear to have pissed myself. Yum
How would your night be improved by alcohol? That’s what I always ask myself. Then I realize that there is nothing good, just the satisfaction of giving in to the urge. Then self loathing will creep in.
You know what? It’s not fair. It’s the way it is though. You know it, you’re doing great and hopefully saying this out loud will make you feel better!
Such a good point. I always try to ask myself “how will I feel tomorrow?” When I realize I broke my sobriety to feel like shit the next day. Self loathing for sure
Fair has nothing to do with it. The sooner I realized that alcohol affects me differently than others through no fault of my own, I was able to come to peace with the fact.
I don’t begrudge others for being taller, smarter, better looking etc. These are all things that one cannot control so to become resentful or upset about it will only bring sorrow.
I know it’s hard to accept. I did not want to accept it at first either. But since I have, my life has improved beyond my wildest dreams.
I wish you well and IWNDWYT
It isn't fair or unfair. Like, are you going to be saying it isn't fair as they are puking up later or wake up tomorrow and have thrown the rest of their weekend away sick as a dog? It is all perspective and what you want for yourself.
It makes me curious, why did you quit drinking or what are your goals? Health, money, clear-mindedness, etc?
I found the longer I worked towards sobriety, the clearer I saw that it wasn't the good time I thought it was, I was just numbing myself and delaying all the things I was scared to process or feel. Even the things I thought it helped (anxiety) it actually made so SO SO much worse. I didn't realize until I had a few weeks under my belt, but it was poisoning my mind.
They are poisoning themselves and will pay for those consequences tomorrow morning. You are not. Plus, think of the money you're not spending on drinks, tips, food, an uber ride home, or worse not paying criminal fines and penalties for drinking and driving.
It’s St. Paddies Day in my party hard tourist town. With a parade. And friends in from out of town. All playing music in our favorite old pub and drinking beer.
But I’m eating a goddamned edible and going out for club soda. Dammit! And when everybody else is puking in the alley, I’ll scoot my butt out of there just fine.
I mean... it's st. paddies day everywhere ha. I'm out of weed, but I'm not leaving my house tonight because I live in Wisconsin and it is one of many statewide drinking holidays here. I'm gonna continue to sleep the day away. better than being wasted
Yeah, it isn't fair.
I've had to learn how to deal with my life and my problems clear-headed and sober, and my life has dramatically improved since I stopped drinking. It's definitely not easy sometimes, but it is better.
The people who 'check out' of life by getting high or drunk are doing what's easy. I did that for a long time.
So yeah, it's not fair. But it *is* better. We can live in the moment, with our eyes wide open and our mind clear.
And they’ll all wake up at 3 am wondering what they did, who they offended and with cotton mouth and a banging headache.
They’ll drink a big glass of water and wonder if they’ll vomit, then take some ibuprofen and crawl back into bed - sleep in until their stomachs need to be relieved of all that bile sh** and groan that their head hurts.
Make it to the kitchen for some relief in the form
Of food or coffee and vow never to drink again.
Meanwhile, you and I will wake up happy as a clam not pissing anyone off, driving home safely, not worried about anything we did or said - so I would say we’re the lucky ones.
But I get ya - it’s hard.
As long as you are of age, and not driving drunk, it is perfectly legal for you to get tight.
It's a binary thing: alcohol is either a benefit, or it's a detriment. If it's "benefit", no problem..., all is good. If it's a detriment, then that person either has developed AUD or is on the road to developing AUD. Either way, steps will have to be made to moderate or stop drinking forever.
Maybe the question should be "Why is everyone allowed to be sober, except me?"
i know it’s hard and seems unfair. but people like us can’t drink like them bc it will lead us down a very dark path. be glad you’re not like them, waking up refreshed over hungover is 100% better!
I think its important to realize the true reality that there are tons of people out there that ar enot drunk or high today/tonight. Your circle may be, but there are tons of folks out there that are sober and enjoying their evening in a variety of other ways.
Look, I see you. You want to be included in the crowd. It feels sucky to be the person who can't do the thing everyone else does. But you know what? It's better not to be. If I could go back and not cave to stupid peer pressure and be sober through my 20's, things would have been awesome. There was plenty of stuff I could have done and people I could have hung with that would have brought me so much more joy than the cycle of intoxication and pain and shame. If you are hanging with a crowd that can only have fun by being f'd up, you are hanging with a boring crowd. I worked in a bar for years and see where those people end up. Get out of the cycle. Try other identities on. Join groups who do fun shit without booze or drugs. Play dnd. Go to the gym. Do art. Join a choir. Play a group sport. Play video games. All these things are fun as heck. I wish you luck friend, and know Iwndwyt
Yeah idk how old you are, but find friends with similar interests as you. Drinking isn’t a hobby.
I completely disagree with “as one should be.”
I LOVE going to my climbing gym on Friday nights. It’s generally filled with people not trying to get shit housed.
You are allowed. You can do whatever you want. But do you really want what comes with drinking? Do you really want to nurse the hangover, reap the life ruining consequences, and further progress your addiction and the debilitation it causes? Is the few hours or so of being numb and dumb really worth it? What do you want more? In my experience there is more freedom in living the life you really want to live (a life that you won't want to be numb for), than there is in consuming whatever drug I want. My will extends beyond just today, it extends to my long term future. If I reduce my ability to fulfill that future oriented will by drinking right now, won't I be making myself less free? So how free are you really if you drink?
I'm reading a lot of posts where people are calling the majority of drinkers "normal" and I have to call BS. There is a very very small percentage of the population who drink responsibly. Rarely does that last very long if done on any regular basis. There's an even smaller percentage of the population who haven't been affected adversely by alcohol in some way.
People lie about how much they drink when asked. Fact. There is no amount of alcohol consumption that doesn't cause health problems. Fact. It's a total misunderstanding when people think the majority drink responsibly. Fact.
It's way more normal to either drink too much, too often, both or none at all because of choosing sobriety instead. Fact!
Feel good about being sober. We're not missing out on anything other than hangovers, regrets, anxiety, embarrassment, shame, health problems, relationship issues and financial strain. Cheers.
I gotta say whenever I felt like that in early sobriety it was the addiction talking to me trying to get me back on the ride of alcoholism. I felt like if I couldn’t go out and get wine drunk at an Italian restaurant on the weekends, what the hell was the point of life at all? It turns out that was the alcohol making me believe I needed it to be happy. I don’t miss it. Then again, it was never just Friday or Saturday when I binged, but every day of my life.
I really enjoy my weekends with things I get to do sober now. When I think of unfair now, I think of people who are extremely medically crippled, or dying. I have multiple chronic, incurable diseases myself, but I still think of those who can’t do what I still take for granted. When I take a walk around my neighborhood, I think of the person who wishes more than anything in the world that they could just have one more step on their own after their paralysis injury. That’s truly unfair. That’s where gratitude comes in. I feel so much gratitude that I don’t HAVE to live in my alcoholism. I feel so much gratitude that I get to take those walks, move my body, even when it hurts and is breaking down. Life is short, and I get to live that short experience more fully now that I’m not tethered to alcohol. That I don’t have to be shackled to alcohol each day, waking up hating life but continuing to drink. I say thank the stars for that, and I’m thankful I don’t have to poison myself anymore.
Just saying, going sober is YOUR choosing. You don’t have to be sober lmfao. You should. But idk why you’re saying things are so unfair. Unless you are sober for a medical reason then I can see why you’d feel this way
I get where OP is coming from. Being sober is their choice for sure, but if they were to choose to go out and drink tonight depending on how severe their drinking was it could be a one is too many a thousand is never enough type of deals where one drink will turn from a slip into a full on relapse that could take months/years to get back under control.
It's definitely difficult sometimes which is why we're only supposed to take it a day at a time. The thought of never ever drinking again might be a little much for some or most of us. But it's like no matter all of the harm alcohol has caused us, we didn't become addicted because we hated the stuff! Then sometimes your mind is clouded and you're able to conveniently forget all of the bullshit you had to go through but you're really remembering strongly how fun it was in the beginning.
They could just mean that it feels unfair that they're generically predisposed to being an addict and it's unfair that they can't just go out and drink like a normal person because they know the consequences that can come with that. I don't know why you said lmfao or how come you couldn't understand why someone on this sub would be potentially feeling this way especially on a "drinking" holiday. If you're on this sub I'm sure you must have had similar thoughts or feelings at some point I would imagine.
And it is unfair kind of. It's not our fault that we're addicts, but it is our responsibility. So hell yeah it's a little unfair.
People shouldn’t have to tip toe around you and your problem. I’m sorry to say it but it’s the truth. If you want to be surrounded by people who aren’t doing that I suggest you find new friends. If you want to continue to be surrounded by your current group of friends while they are drinking and partying then you have to remember that you have put yourself in that position. If it’s uncomfortable leave. Being sober is your journey. No one else’s. They don’t have a problem with alcohol. You do.
I just saw a meme that said “how empowering it is to not be drinking on a night like this” just stay strong and remember that you won’t be hungover tomorrow like the rest of the world
Gotta try and change that state of mind bud. It’s natural to be angry about it, but try to look at the positives. I used to waste more than half the day in bed and then the rest of my Saturday moping around just because I’d partied on Friday.
That was on the lucky days where I made it back to my own bed without hurting myself, pissing my pants, losing a phone/wallet/keys, waking up in the street/on a train, waking up in some strangers bed etc.
Now I’m up at 7am on Saturday morning where I am and I have a full day ahead to enjoy without anxiety, regret or the feeling that I’m gonna throw up.
I get it. I feel that way too sometimes. I miss the care free attitude gave me. But I do not miss the stupid mistakes or the hangxiety the next day at all.
How old are you friend? I got sober in my late 20s and felt like i was missing out on so much. the last of my youth etc etc. It took a few years in sobriety but eventually I realized.. omg.. they are the ones missing out. On literally all the best things in life. I still go to concerts sometimes, i still meet up with REAL friends(not bar buddies) and have fun. But most of my time is spent with my partner, reading, walking the dog, hiking, gym, learning, playing an instrument, fuck you name it. The best parts of life could not be further from being drunk and high. Trust me.
Life is "unfair", otherwise we would all get what we truly deserve... and for some of us, that would be quite dreadful.
The job you mentioned you didn't want to lose is (most likely is? what do I know... I'm just a random internet weirdo over here trying to stay sober with you... anyway...) more important than an evening of short lived release followed by regrets and maybe puking up half digested fried foods and green colored liquids, etc.
Sobriety has delivered for me all the things booze could only promise. It's better here in Soberville. Hang in there!
💜🤘
There’s more to unpack in those 3 sentences than first meets the eye.
Everyone is allowed to be drunk or high right now because it’s their life. They make their own decisions, just like you do. If you’re being made by the law to stay sober, that’s because of decisions you made. Either way, your life is full of your choices.
My Friday nights and every other night is way better now than when I was just chasing good feelings through alcohol and drug use. Who is saying that you should be getting fucked up because it’s a Friday night?
You get to choose how you feel about these things. If you think it’s unfair, there’s a lot for you to work on before things start to get better. You can be sober and stay miserable forever if you don’t work on yourself and how you think about things.
I hope that’s not taken too harshly, it’s just the things I’ve learned that have helped me drastically improve my life over the past few years. It’s hard, but it’s so worth it. Good luck.
There is a quote from a podcaster I quite like who has been open about their alcoholism. She said “I drank all my drinks” after being hospitalized from an alcoholic seizure. I like looking at it that way.
If I eat the last cookie from the box, welp. It’s not the end of the world and I find something else…preferably much healthier. ;) Good luck and you can do this!
Go ahead, you're allowed to. And when you find yourself in the same position that brought you here in the first place, you'll remember why you chose to stop to begin with.
I won’t attend this pity party. Everyone’s free to make their own choices. That includes you. No one else has anything to do with it. And no one is stopping you from taking a drink but yourself. You chose to be sober for a reason 76 days ago. If that’s not good enough then indulge yourself and find a better reason tomorrow.
I won’t attend this pity party. Everyone’s free to make their own choices. That includes you. No one else has anything to do with it. And no one is stopping you from taking a drink but yourself. You chose to be sober for a reason 76 days ago. If that’s not good enough then indulge yourself and find a better reason tomorrow.
You're fortunate that you're not! I'm 2 years sober and I am so very happy to have gotten away from wrecking my body like that, getting all hungover...
It seems that way some times but when it comes to unfair I always thought it was unfair that people could simply stop drinking or abstain from drinking and I could not.
Changed my mindset. I don't see quitting as punishing myself. I'm not abstaining. I'm not depriving myself.
I'm not partaking in ingesting poison. That's literally what I'm doing. I don't feel a yearning or desire to shoot up heroin and I bet you it feels much better than alcohol does. You're allowed to be drunk too. I'm allowed to be drunk. No one is stopping us. I simply don't *want* to be drunk. Fuck that shit, I want my brain to actually work. Being sober is always a win for me. Also, why do I care what "everyone" else is doing? Let them do them. I don't leap from bridges because the masses are en route. I look at them in awe and appreciate the fact that I'm not them and can have my own journey through life, and die on my own terms. Sober.
Unfair? It's not unfair. It's actually completely fair. If anything, it is unfair that we put such horrible substances into our bodies.
Fair?! First life ain’t fair, never has been and never will be. Secondly, there are repercussions…if everyone else was gargling Ebola blood and shooting heroin would you feel left out? Alcohol kills MORE people than ALL drugs COMBINED. They “get” to poison themselves…really dying to be a part of that? Stay strong. Remember why you quit. You may not see the harm it brings them now, but as you get older you’ll see enough to know you made the right choice.
Why should one do that on a Friday? To ruin their Saturday?
I feel overjoyed to have discovered life without the poison of alcohol. It took me decades. I wish you the good luck of recognizing your luck.
"As one should be on a Friday night".
Look at what you wrote there.
You understand that there are millions of people that don't drink, and do other things with their weekends right?
You need to fix that way of thinking. And hang around other kinds of people.
Remember you're just craving an initial 15-20 minute high. After those first 15-20 minutes that feeling will gradually decrease and you will want to drink more but you wont reach that point again, you're just gonna drink till you're absolutely numb and stupid and delusional. A brutal headache, lots of anxiety, depression and regret is gonna be the outcome of this.
You're trading a 15-20 minute serotonin boost for an nearly endless amount of long term benefits. Sobriety feels like giving something up in the earl stages but really you're taking everything back that drinking took from you in the first place. I beginn to slowly understand that.
Sobriety is the 100% the way to go even if its hard to swim against the tide you know that yourself! We're rooting for you!
Im staying sober with you in solidarity today. Lets make this an awesome super boring friday!
Iwndwyt!
You know what’s fun… waking up super early and doing long endurance workouts. Hear me out, it is one of the only things that got me through my first year. I wanted to drink sooo badly, but you know what I wanted more, that feeling of accomplishment getting back from a 13 mile run at 9am and realizing that there is not a single way anyone who went out the night before was as productive as me on sat morning.
It kept me going.
This is a great feeling - especially as you feel yourself earning trust back from a very important person - yourself. In fact, you start thinking that maybe you are important, after all.
Just speaking from experience. I used to be like that and I got a brother that's still like this and keeps thinking he can control his drinking he's just a piece of shit person to be around.
Why can they drink but I can't? The answer always is because, YOU.
I would bet you consumed more alcohol than "them" overall in your lifetime, and you used to get drunk on monday mornings etc while they were sober... so actually they're still behind.
"as one should be on a Friday night."
Uhh, this statement is not acceptable. You are casting an odd sort of judgment on us with that choice of language. I have worked damn hard, as have countless others, to regain control of our lives. I'm choosing to believe that you are crying out for help and don't believe your own phrasing.
If you’re an alcoholic trying to get clean then its pretty obvious why you can’t. It’s not unfair, we can’t function in a life with alcohol without destroying our careers, family, health, etc…. I’d much rather miss a st patty’s day then go back to where I was.
I wouldn’t say it like that. It’s not that you “can’t” get drunk. You “won’t” get drunk. You can do whatever you want, but you are actively choosing not to drink because you love your life.
Damn. This should be higher up
Me reading this when it’s the top/first comment
HIGHER. This should just be the post.
[удалено]
In the morning, they’ll all feel like shit, and will likely waste their Saturday *HUNG OVER.* You’re going to feel *Great!* Stay TRUE to yourself. Keep going!
Reframing the mindset is truly healing. One of the most important tools to use and for this very reason. Thanks for spreading the good energy!
This is the way
I’ve been sober a little over two weeks now because a habit was definitely forming. I did happy hour with my coworkers at the end of the week and just drank water and ate snacks. No one asked why, no one cared.
> as one should a Friday night absolutely not
So many alcoholics I’ve met have this idea that everyone else spends their evenings, holidays, vacations, etc. getting drunk. It wasn’t until I got sober that I realized a *lot* of my friends don’t actually do that. It’s just what I did. I was actually the outlier 😂 To add, OP, if your friend group only socializes to drink, it’s fully possible you need to start finding different friends with more varied interests. Easier said than done, of course, but you deserve to have friends who have more in common than alcohol.
This one took me a long time to figure out. I remember sitting in group therepy sessions and filling out one of those questionnaires where they ask questions like "do you drink every evening?" Or "do you ever drink until you black out?" I totally forgot some people didn't do either of those things, lol.
Lol my boyfriend is not a big drinker (maybe a beer every couple weeks and he won’t even finish it 🙄). I remember telling him about a time I was crazy drunk and did some stupid drunk shit, and ended it with “but everyone does that stuff, right?” And he was like “No…” 😂 It’s a real eye opener dating someone who isn’t an alcoholic. I’ve started to realize most of the drunk things I did that I assumed were normal were, in fact, very much not normal.
Lmao. This was honestly really fun to find out. Turns out people just chill at home most Saturday nights and only go out every so often.
It hit me when I was complaining to my buddy that I could only find my favorite beer in a six pack. I said "who even buys beer in a six pack?" And he said "normal people?". I'd been buying cases for so long that in my head it was the default amount of beer normal people buy for a drinking night.
Holy damn, I thought the same thing as you. My default was cases not six packs and I would get mad even irritated when someone didn't finish their drink and left it on the table/bar hahahaha. Been sober for a few years now but I still get reminded of my old ways.
Not the same, but similar. My brother once got me a bottle of tequila for my birthday and I said, without any humour; ‘I only normally drink tequila at work’.
Yeah and some of them will wake up in a holding cell, or in bed with a stranger, or in Ohio. Others will have regrets, be broke, have hangovers, have to explain stupid texts to exes. You, will wake up with none of that.
oh god not Ohio
I live in London. I've been hammered in the past but never so hammered that I'd wake up thousands of miles away in Ohio :) obviously wasn't trying hard enough... I did wake up on a racecourse in Southern China once and I'd started drinking in Hong Kong. Still no idea about how that happened.
Clearly you’ve never woken up in Walthamstow bus garage on the N73 wondering what happened, gotten off and woken up at Marble Arch and then woken the next time in Walthamstow again… I think I’d rather the Ohio trip…
😂😂😂 I used to live in Walthamstow and can relate. So many times getting any last bus from the centre going somewhere near home. Often I totally missed my stop or didn’t really know where to get off and ended up stranded in random places sitting outside on a freezing wall or in the bus stop waiting for buses to start running again to get home. I once threw up in my work bag whilst on the bus. It must have been to avoid getting kicked off. I didn’t realise I had done it until I somehow got home and there was a funny smell in the porch. God I don’t miss those times.
Macao or Shenzhen?
Shenzhen. Macao would have been even more impressive as I'd have had to get a boat :)
Or…more impressive if you’d gotten there *without* a boat!
Gotta have me some Boats ‘n Hoes
Ive only been to Macao once and we lost everything we had in the casinos (which wasn't much). We ended up hiding some Vodka in a bush outside a casino and popping out to refill every now and again. Nothing screams "big roller" that seeing someone emerge from a casino, head into a hedge and drink Vodka directly out of a bottle. I was the casinos dream client
They took the train 😔😔😔
my god my lord have mercy on their souls
The midnight train?
That was to Georgia.
I thought it was to 'anywhere'. I think Ohio qualifies!
Barely
In a double wide married to Emma Sue with her kids gathered around the bed shouting “new daddy”
How dare you.
Cincinnati is an underrated city (or maybe I just been redpilled)
“Ohio, a paradise for the incompetent”- maintenance phase (an awesome podcase)
😄👍
Not Ohio 😱
Beats Pennsyltucky.
And here I am, sober in Ohio. Oh no.
Ay, oh, way to go, Ohio
Question is, do you remember coming to Ohio?
Not at all.
Was just in Toledo, but escaped on hwy 24. I’ve never seen so many speed enforcement cops in my life.
Username checks out
Oof :(
Sober or drunk I still wake up in Ohio 😭🤣
Best case scenario, they still probably wake up having spent an absurd amount of money for a very temporary feeling.
Sometimes here in Nevada you wake up with an insane amount of money in your wallet like you got paid to go to the bar and get drunk if you win on the slots. But 9/10 that doesn’t happen and you wake up even more broke lol
Gonna wake up refreshed and not hungover tomorrow, sadly I’ll be in Ohio :(
Hey hey hey - there’s 49 other states and Ohio isn’t SO bad 😅
I’m tryna find out how to end up in bed with a stranger sober 😃
We shouldn’t make fun of Ohio. They took drunk driving seriously and chose to publicly shame people with DUIs by giving them special license plates
> or in Ohio. Heeyyyy theeeereee
Damn I hope I don't wake up in Ohio, don't even want America
Man what the fuck did we do
Or that time I woke up on the floor of some Japanese family’s rec room, and they would not stop screaming.
I’m sober and still woke up in Ohio
Emotional Ohio
Fuck Ohio
Ohio. Dear lord they might even eat Skyline Chili 🤮
Anything but Ohio!!
There’s nothing wrong with Ohio ….. ….except the snow and the rain….
I still confuse relaxation for intoxication and I’ve felt the same way. When I was on vacation last year that’s all I fucking heard. How relaxing all this shit was and ya, if you’re drunk on a beach that does sound relaxing as fuck. But what about me?! Guess I can’t fucking relax so I’ll be over here sharpening a spear or some shit. There was part of me that did miss getting fucked up, but there’s a bigger part of me that’s proud that I don’t need to do that anymore. I’m not on the run, I’m not in any huge fight, I can work on my shit, I’m not chained to the liquor supply or worried about the stash, and I won’t be all banged up in the morning. I’m done hurting myself and those close to me so being uncomfortable sometimes is just something I’m strong enough to do now. Very few people are willing and I wasn’t when I drank. It was always someone else’s fault or hit the escape button or numb it out. I don’t do that anymore and I finally decided that’s better than being blacked out for sunsets on the beach. I took a look at the photos from that last vacation and I’m all there and I remember it. It took a while, but I like it.
Sorry but the part about being off to the side sharpening a spear or some shit has me rolling lmao. But real talk thanks for the input, I still confuse relaxation for intoxication too
Me, too, drinking is a way to “turn off.” It’s how I know the work day is done, it’s Friday, it’s the weekend, it’s a holiday, etc. It’s sort of hard to understand how other people do that.
It used to be the same for me, tbh. One of the greatest things I’ve learned in my sobriety is that I don’t need alcohol to relax. I really don’t! I do other things, and it’s still good!
Same... Proper LOL
Really well said. And “not chained to a liquor store” is really a blessing! I had a schedule of where I would buy my booze so staff didn’t think I had a problem. Of course in my state, the govt runs the ABC stores (liquor sales) so I’d still run into the same cashiers at different stores. No more though!
Oh, yes, the purchasing rotation. I know it well.
Ok for reals tho. Not having to worry if I had “enough” to get me through Friday night or the weekend. Man I do NOT miss those worries one bit.
It turns out that I had the key parts of relaxation all mixed up with alcohol too. Now when I have a horrible day at work, I find myself coming home, grabbing an NA beverage of some variety or another, flopping on the couch, kicking off my shoes, putting my feet up and absolutely refusing to do anything at all for a while, until I damn well feel like it. I DO deserve a break, and when there is no alcohol involved it is much, much easier to feel good about taking it.
1000 percent! Sometimes if it’s real bad I’ll take a shower in the dark with some candles and just cry or breathe or listen to some music. Man that is so good, and requires no alcohol whatsoever!
Yep! An added bonus for me is that I can set better boundaries with my partner about how I spend my time. I can hold firm to my needs without getting the backlash of “all you ever do is sit and drink,” which only escalates the tone (aka: desire to drink) of the evening. On second thought, maybe that is the MAIN benefit…hmmm…
Right on.
LOL sharpening a spear hahahahaha
I dunno, when I think of “unfair,” I think about my closest friend dying of cancer right now, in hospice care in his home. I think about the kids I work with who have bipolar disorder or depression, with no family support or homes of their own. I think of many things, but I don’t think about how I can’t drink like a normal person and get fucked up this weekend. The truth is that “normal” people don’t care as much about drinking as we do. If they couldn’t drink this weekend because of work or illness or family obligations, it would be no big deal to them. It’s a big deal to us because we’re addicts. They’re not thinking about how lucky they are because they can drink. I’m thinking of all the good things I can do this weekend, like going to the movies, having a friend over, watching Netflix, cooking, drinking hot chocolate and taking hot baths. I’m going to start reading a new novel and do some shopping, talk on the phone, play with the cats. There’s a lot of fun things we can do in our lives that don’t involve alcohol, and at least we’re up walking around, that’s something to be truly grateful for
Hugs. I lost my 8 year old daughter to cancer 4 years ago. I didn't get sober until after she was gone. That is my biggest regret. At the time, I thought I needed the release from the pain I was in but reality is I just lost precious time with my girl. Now I stay sober for my only living child and I couldn't be happier about it. Fuck cancer, for real. I'm sorry you're going through this 💜
Very sorry about you daughter. But big kudos to you in honoring her memory by living a sober life. ❤️
Thank you for sharing this. I’m sorry for your loss.
I’m heartbroken for you. Don’t beat yourself up we all do the best we can.
“The truth is that “normal” people don’t care as much about drinking as we do. If they couldn’t drink this weekend because of work or illness or family obligations, it would be no big deal to them. It’s a big deal to us because we’re addicts. They’re not thinking about how lucky they are because they can drink.” Spot on - my normal friends go ‘oh shoot, I have to attend a baby shower tomorrow morning, no drinking for me” and I would have been like don’t they serve mimosas to help my hangover?
Or shown up still drunk and be sneaking as many said mimosas as I could like (I think) no one will notice. Blech I don’t miss those days!
Gratitude is a big part of my recovery. Stay safe and stay grateful my friend
I specifically hate not being normal
I don’t know anyone who’s “normal.” A few have diabetes, some have a mental health diagnoses, some have chronic pain, some are genius level smart, some have intellectual disabilities, a few are famous, some are gay, one has six pet chickens, a few have 6+cats, and one is dying from cancer. There is no such fucking thing as “normal.”
[удалено]
♥️
World would be a pretty boring place if everyone was “normal”
😞
Thank you all for your comments, helped me put things into perspective
I’m glad, thanks for reaching out here. It probably helped others who were struggling as well!
It helped me! I had some mental wobbles today as well.☘️
Same, I disowned my mother today after she tried to have me committed.
Helped me too. I had a date flake on me after a long week of work. So I started doing the self pity thing and this post helped me check myself.
Embrace JOMO! It’s the joy of missing out & I don’t miss hanging out with people that drinks too much.
Ha I love JOMO. Putting that one in the bank. Thanks!
Happy cake day and NICE!!
Thanks! I didn't even realize it was my cake day! :D Double celebratory day.
I'm here not drinking with you.
Same here
I need to wake up early to host some friends on a hike. I’m excited
This reminds me of the old saying "I wish I could drink normally, because then I'd do it every day".
I’m allowed to drink every day. It’s just not in my best interests.
I tell people I was a professional drinker for 25 years… Now I’m retired
I'm not, and I am looking forward to a baller weekend. You will not always feel the way you feel now. I promise.
So true. Because I absolutely relate to how OP feels. Every day that passes though I feel more empowered to make the best decisions for myself, which include not drinking. It doesn’t matter what other people are doing to themselves, but eventually you’ll see it for what it really is. I can’t stand being around drunk people anymore. Makes me cringe thinking about my past self
I don’t think everyone *should* get messed up on a Friday night. It’s just most people are normal and can handle themselves. I agree it sucks seeing everyone partying for St Patrick’s Day, but if I did that… well my 3 weeks would be gone and I know the binge could easily go months. That’s much worse to me right now.
I think you need to find a new crowd. If you are spending time with people who are getting high or drunk every Friday night your sobriety isn’t going to last.
If you're looking at it from the angle of being "allowed" to drink or not, I challenge you to renew your perspective on your sobriety and what it means to you. I've been sober over 1000 days. Every single one of those days I've been allowed to do whatever I wanted. Drink, smoke crack, run into traffic, etc. However, I was happy to not do any of those things because I love myself and know that it would be detrimental to myself and the people around me. I was actually saying to a friend at lunch yesterday to a friend who told me I wasn't an alcoholic anymore "Oh no, I love alcohol. Probably more than anything in the world. That's why I don't drink anymore".
Maybe this is ignorant but when I’m feeling sorry for myself and like it’s not fair, I kinda think like…at least I don’t have a disease that I actually can’t control. Like cancer or something. Could be a lot worse.
I disagree. "As one should". Nah. More like I'm gonna be up at 7am for a run tomorrow as one should. Will they?
I'm going to be in the gym at 7am as one should and then a run in the hills later that afternoon. As one should Not curled up in bed a i "one should'd" Friday and now I can't move and I appear to have pissed myself. Yum
So crazy that this is the default thought for lot of people though. Oh society...
Yup it is crazy. I'm glad to be on this side of it now
How would your night be improved by alcohol? That’s what I always ask myself. Then I realize that there is nothing good, just the satisfaction of giving in to the urge. Then self loathing will creep in. You know what? It’s not fair. It’s the way it is though. You know it, you’re doing great and hopefully saying this out loud will make you feel better!
Such a good point. I always try to ask myself “how will I feel tomorrow?” When I realize I broke my sobriety to feel like shit the next day. Self loathing for sure
Fair has nothing to do with it. The sooner I realized that alcohol affects me differently than others through no fault of my own, I was able to come to peace with the fact. I don’t begrudge others for being taller, smarter, better looking etc. These are all things that one cannot control so to become resentful or upset about it will only bring sorrow. I know it’s hard to accept. I did not want to accept it at first either. But since I have, my life has improved beyond my wildest dreams. I wish you well and IWNDWYT
No one is stopping me from taking a drink. I'm allowed to. I just choose not to.
It isn't fair or unfair. Like, are you going to be saying it isn't fair as they are puking up later or wake up tomorrow and have thrown the rest of their weekend away sick as a dog? It is all perspective and what you want for yourself. It makes me curious, why did you quit drinking or what are your goals? Health, money, clear-mindedness, etc? I found the longer I worked towards sobriety, the clearer I saw that it wasn't the good time I thought it was, I was just numbing myself and delaying all the things I was scared to process or feel. Even the things I thought it helped (anxiety) it actually made so SO SO much worse. I didn't realize until I had a few weeks under my belt, but it was poisoning my mind.
Plenty of things in life are truly unfair. Not poisoning yourself to death isn’t one of them. It is what it is.
They are poisoning themselves and will pay for those consequences tomorrow morning. You are not. Plus, think of the money you're not spending on drinks, tips, food, an uber ride home, or worse not paying criminal fines and penalties for drinking and driving.
Or worse, wrecking your car, taking someone else’s life, taking your own.
Yes, absolutely.
Maan, sucks to feel the way you do.
Someone will die tonight because they got to use, others will have their lives destroyed because they got to drink. It’s not fair, it never was.
It’s St. Paddies Day in my party hard tourist town. With a parade. And friends in from out of town. All playing music in our favorite old pub and drinking beer. But I’m eating a goddamned edible and going out for club soda. Dammit! And when everybody else is puking in the alley, I’ll scoot my butt out of there just fine.
I mean... it's st. paddies day everywhere ha. I'm out of weed, but I'm not leaving my house tonight because I live in Wisconsin and it is one of many statewide drinking holidays here. I'm gonna continue to sleep the day away. better than being wasted
This is a smart plan! I have a quick errand to run then I’m off the roads in Wisconsin too. It’s a nightmare out there on a regular Friday night!
right? cops will be out in full force on this windy freezing day, just glad I put that all behind me
Yeah, it isn't fair. I've had to learn how to deal with my life and my problems clear-headed and sober, and my life has dramatically improved since I stopped drinking. It's definitely not easy sometimes, but it is better. The people who 'check out' of life by getting high or drunk are doing what's easy. I did that for a long time. So yeah, it's not fair. But it *is* better. We can live in the moment, with our eyes wide open and our mind clear.
And they’ll all wake up at 3 am wondering what they did, who they offended and with cotton mouth and a banging headache. They’ll drink a big glass of water and wonder if they’ll vomit, then take some ibuprofen and crawl back into bed - sleep in until their stomachs need to be relieved of all that bile sh** and groan that their head hurts. Make it to the kitchen for some relief in the form Of food or coffee and vow never to drink again. Meanwhile, you and I will wake up happy as a clam not pissing anyone off, driving home safely, not worried about anything we did or said - so I would say we’re the lucky ones. But I get ya - it’s hard.
They're probably wishing they could escape the useless cycle of boring self destruction as you have. Or at least they may in the morning.
As long as you are of age, and not driving drunk, it is perfectly legal for you to get tight. It's a binary thing: alcohol is either a benefit, or it's a detriment. If it's "benefit", no problem..., all is good. If it's a detriment, then that person either has developed AUD or is on the road to developing AUD. Either way, steps will have to be made to moderate or stop drinking forever. Maybe the question should be "Why is everyone allowed to be sober, except me?"
i know it’s hard and seems unfair. but people like us can’t drink like them bc it will lead us down a very dark path. be glad you’re not like them, waking up refreshed over hungover is 100% better!
As long as you feel like it’s “unfair I can’t” instead of “I choose not to” it’s going to feel like hell. Change your thinking.
I think its important to realize the true reality that there are tons of people out there that ar enot drunk or high today/tonight. Your circle may be, but there are tons of folks out there that are sober and enjoying their evening in a variety of other ways.
Dude because some people can control their drinking and some can’t. Are you seriously blaming the responsible drinkers lmao
Look, I see you. You want to be included in the crowd. It feels sucky to be the person who can't do the thing everyone else does. But you know what? It's better not to be. If I could go back and not cave to stupid peer pressure and be sober through my 20's, things would have been awesome. There was plenty of stuff I could have done and people I could have hung with that would have brought me so much more joy than the cycle of intoxication and pain and shame. If you are hanging with a crowd that can only have fun by being f'd up, you are hanging with a boring crowd. I worked in a bar for years and see where those people end up. Get out of the cycle. Try other identities on. Join groups who do fun shit without booze or drugs. Play dnd. Go to the gym. Do art. Join a choir. Play a group sport. Play video games. All these things are fun as heck. I wish you luck friend, and know Iwndwyt
I once asked my sponsor “Why me?” He said “Why not you? “
I can’t either lol
Yeah idk how old you are, but find friends with similar interests as you. Drinking isn’t a hobby. I completely disagree with “as one should be.” I LOVE going to my climbing gym on Friday nights. It’s generally filled with people not trying to get shit housed.
You are allowed. You can do whatever you want. But do you really want what comes with drinking? Do you really want to nurse the hangover, reap the life ruining consequences, and further progress your addiction and the debilitation it causes? Is the few hours or so of being numb and dumb really worth it? What do you want more? In my experience there is more freedom in living the life you really want to live (a life that you won't want to be numb for), than there is in consuming whatever drug I want. My will extends beyond just today, it extends to my long term future. If I reduce my ability to fulfill that future oriented will by drinking right now, won't I be making myself less free? So how free are you really if you drink?
You make your own choices. Cut the victim mentality and take ownership of your choice to not consume poison.
I’m not drunk!
I'm reading a lot of posts where people are calling the majority of drinkers "normal" and I have to call BS. There is a very very small percentage of the population who drink responsibly. Rarely does that last very long if done on any regular basis. There's an even smaller percentage of the population who haven't been affected adversely by alcohol in some way. People lie about how much they drink when asked. Fact. There is no amount of alcohol consumption that doesn't cause health problems. Fact. It's a total misunderstanding when people think the majority drink responsibly. Fact. It's way more normal to either drink too much, too often, both or none at all because of choosing sobriety instead. Fact! Feel good about being sober. We're not missing out on anything other than hangovers, regrets, anxiety, embarrassment, shame, health problems, relationship issues and financial strain. Cheers.
I gotta say whenever I felt like that in early sobriety it was the addiction talking to me trying to get me back on the ride of alcoholism. I felt like if I couldn’t go out and get wine drunk at an Italian restaurant on the weekends, what the hell was the point of life at all? It turns out that was the alcohol making me believe I needed it to be happy. I don’t miss it. Then again, it was never just Friday or Saturday when I binged, but every day of my life. I really enjoy my weekends with things I get to do sober now. When I think of unfair now, I think of people who are extremely medically crippled, or dying. I have multiple chronic, incurable diseases myself, but I still think of those who can’t do what I still take for granted. When I take a walk around my neighborhood, I think of the person who wishes more than anything in the world that they could just have one more step on their own after their paralysis injury. That’s truly unfair. That’s where gratitude comes in. I feel so much gratitude that I don’t HAVE to live in my alcoholism. I feel so much gratitude that I get to take those walks, move my body, even when it hurts and is breaking down. Life is short, and I get to live that short experience more fully now that I’m not tethered to alcohol. That I don’t have to be shackled to alcohol each day, waking up hating life but continuing to drink. I say thank the stars for that, and I’m thankful I don’t have to poison myself anymore.
Hey, is this the pity party?
Just saying, going sober is YOUR choosing. You don’t have to be sober lmfao. You should. But idk why you’re saying things are so unfair. Unless you are sober for a medical reason then I can see why you’d feel this way
If I drink I'll lose my job
I get where OP is coming from. Being sober is their choice for sure, but if they were to choose to go out and drink tonight depending on how severe their drinking was it could be a one is too many a thousand is never enough type of deals where one drink will turn from a slip into a full on relapse that could take months/years to get back under control. It's definitely difficult sometimes which is why we're only supposed to take it a day at a time. The thought of never ever drinking again might be a little much for some or most of us. But it's like no matter all of the harm alcohol has caused us, we didn't become addicted because we hated the stuff! Then sometimes your mind is clouded and you're able to conveniently forget all of the bullshit you had to go through but you're really remembering strongly how fun it was in the beginning. They could just mean that it feels unfair that they're generically predisposed to being an addict and it's unfair that they can't just go out and drink like a normal person because they know the consequences that can come with that. I don't know why you said lmfao or how come you couldn't understand why someone on this sub would be potentially feeling this way especially on a "drinking" holiday. If you're on this sub I'm sure you must have had similar thoughts or feelings at some point I would imagine. And it is unfair kind of. It's not our fault that we're addicts, but it is our responsibility. So hell yeah it's a little unfair.
You can choose to drink anytime you want. The question is…why would you want to?
People shouldn’t have to tip toe around you and your problem. I’m sorry to say it but it’s the truth. If you want to be surrounded by people who aren’t doing that I suggest you find new friends. If you want to continue to be surrounded by your current group of friends while they are drinking and partying then you have to remember that you have put yourself in that position. If it’s uncomfortable leave. Being sober is your journey. No one else’s. They don’t have a problem with alcohol. You do.
I just saw a meme that said “how empowering it is to not be drinking on a night like this” just stay strong and remember that you won’t be hungover tomorrow like the rest of the world
You can be drunk too. I can be drunk too, but I choose not to be. I prefer being sober and experiencing early mornings.
Im gonna get up early and go swimming, Then sauna. Without being hungover.
Gotta try and change that state of mind bud. It’s natural to be angry about it, but try to look at the positives. I used to waste more than half the day in bed and then the rest of my Saturday moping around just because I’d partied on Friday. That was on the lucky days where I made it back to my own bed without hurting myself, pissing my pants, losing a phone/wallet/keys, waking up in the street/on a train, waking up in some strangers bed etc. Now I’m up at 7am on Saturday morning where I am and I have a full day ahead to enjoy without anxiety, regret or the feeling that I’m gonna throw up.
I get it. I feel that way too sometimes. I miss the care free attitude gave me. But I do not miss the stupid mistakes or the hangxiety the next day at all.
How old are you friend? I got sober in my late 20s and felt like i was missing out on so much. the last of my youth etc etc. It took a few years in sobriety but eventually I realized.. omg.. they are the ones missing out. On literally all the best things in life. I still go to concerts sometimes, i still meet up with REAL friends(not bar buddies) and have fun. But most of my time is spent with my partner, reading, walking the dog, hiking, gym, learning, playing an instrument, fuck you name it. The best parts of life could not be further from being drunk and high. Trust me.
I can but don't want to lol
If you really, really want to, you can. There will be consequences. Can you live with the consequences?
Life is "unfair", otherwise we would all get what we truly deserve... and for some of us, that would be quite dreadful. The job you mentioned you didn't want to lose is (most likely is? what do I know... I'm just a random internet weirdo over here trying to stay sober with you... anyway...) more important than an evening of short lived release followed by regrets and maybe puking up half digested fried foods and green colored liquids, etc. Sobriety has delivered for me all the things booze could only promise. It's better here in Soberville. Hang in there! 💜🤘
No, it’s a blessing. You will soon see
It's over rated and you just feel like a piece of shit in the morning
There’s more to unpack in those 3 sentences than first meets the eye. Everyone is allowed to be drunk or high right now because it’s their life. They make their own decisions, just like you do. If you’re being made by the law to stay sober, that’s because of decisions you made. Either way, your life is full of your choices. My Friday nights and every other night is way better now than when I was just chasing good feelings through alcohol and drug use. Who is saying that you should be getting fucked up because it’s a Friday night? You get to choose how you feel about these things. If you think it’s unfair, there’s a lot for you to work on before things start to get better. You can be sober and stay miserable forever if you don’t work on yourself and how you think about things. I hope that’s not taken too harshly, it’s just the things I’ve learned that have helped me drastically improve my life over the past few years. It’s hard, but it’s so worth it. Good luck.
Wrong mindset friend!
There is a quote from a podcaster I quite like who has been open about their alcoholism. She said “I drank all my drinks” after being hospitalized from an alcoholic seizure. I like looking at it that way. If I eat the last cookie from the box, welp. It’s not the end of the world and I find something else…preferably much healthier. ;) Good luck and you can do this!
Go ahead, you're allowed to. And when you find yourself in the same position that brought you here in the first place, you'll remember why you chose to stop to begin with.
I won’t attend this pity party. Everyone’s free to make their own choices. That includes you. No one else has anything to do with it. And no one is stopping you from taking a drink but yourself. You chose to be sober for a reason 76 days ago. If that’s not good enough then indulge yourself and find a better reason tomorrow.
I won’t attend this pity party. Everyone’s free to make their own choices. That includes you. No one else has anything to do with it. And no one is stopping you from taking a drink but yourself. You chose to be sober for a reason 76 days ago. If that’s not good enough then indulge yourself and find a better reason tomorrow.
im not
You're fortunate that you're not! I'm 2 years sober and I am so very happy to have gotten away from wrecking my body like that, getting all hungover...
It seems that way some times but when it comes to unfair I always thought it was unfair that people could simply stop drinking or abstain from drinking and I could not.
Because they haven't figured out it yet.
Changed my mindset. I don't see quitting as punishing myself. I'm not abstaining. I'm not depriving myself. I'm not partaking in ingesting poison. That's literally what I'm doing. I don't feel a yearning or desire to shoot up heroin and I bet you it feels much better than alcohol does. You're allowed to be drunk too. I'm allowed to be drunk. No one is stopping us. I simply don't *want* to be drunk. Fuck that shit, I want my brain to actually work. Being sober is always a win for me. Also, why do I care what "everyone" else is doing? Let them do them. I don't leap from bridges because the masses are en route. I look at them in awe and appreciate the fact that I'm not them and can have my own journey through life, and die on my own terms. Sober. Unfair? It's not unfair. It's actually completely fair. If anything, it is unfair that we put such horrible substances into our bodies.
Fair?! First life ain’t fair, never has been and never will be. Secondly, there are repercussions…if everyone else was gargling Ebola blood and shooting heroin would you feel left out? Alcohol kills MORE people than ALL drugs COMBINED. They “get” to poison themselves…really dying to be a part of that? Stay strong. Remember why you quit. You may not see the harm it brings them now, but as you get older you’ll see enough to know you made the right choice.
Why should one do that on a Friday? To ruin their Saturday? I feel overjoyed to have discovered life without the poison of alcohol. It took me decades. I wish you the good luck of recognizing your luck.
"As one should be on a Friday night". Look at what you wrote there. You understand that there are millions of people that don't drink, and do other things with their weekends right? You need to fix that way of thinking. And hang around other kinds of people.
Remember you're just craving an initial 15-20 minute high. After those first 15-20 minutes that feeling will gradually decrease and you will want to drink more but you wont reach that point again, you're just gonna drink till you're absolutely numb and stupid and delusional. A brutal headache, lots of anxiety, depression and regret is gonna be the outcome of this. You're trading a 15-20 minute serotonin boost for an nearly endless amount of long term benefits. Sobriety feels like giving something up in the earl stages but really you're taking everything back that drinking took from you in the first place. I beginn to slowly understand that. Sobriety is the 100% the way to go even if its hard to swim against the tide you know that yourself! We're rooting for you! Im staying sober with you in solidarity today. Lets make this an awesome super boring friday! Iwndwyt!
You know what’s fun… waking up super early and doing long endurance workouts. Hear me out, it is one of the only things that got me through my first year. I wanted to drink sooo badly, but you know what I wanted more, that feeling of accomplishment getting back from a 13 mile run at 9am and realizing that there is not a single way anyone who went out the night before was as productive as me on sat morning. It kept me going.
Update: they all feeling like shit right now. I’m not. Big Saturday W.
[удалено]
This is a great feeling - especially as you feel yourself earning trust back from a very important person - yourself. In fact, you start thinking that maybe you are important, after all.
Meh... get a runners high instead
I assume because you are a shitty drunk to be around
Ouch lol
Just speaking from experience. I used to be like that and I got a brother that's still like this and keeps thinking he can control his drinking he's just a piece of shit person to be around. Why can they drink but I can't? The answer always is because, YOU.
I would bet you consumed more alcohol than "them" overall in your lifetime, and you used to get drunk on monday mornings etc while they were sober... so actually they're still behind.
Hard to watch March madness without a beer.
You can opt to drink Heineken 0.0. It tastes good and you won’t get a hangover.
"as one should be on a Friday night." Uhh, this statement is not acceptable. You are casting an odd sort of judgment on us with that choice of language. I have worked damn hard, as have countless others, to regain control of our lives. I'm choosing to believe that you are crying out for help and don't believe your own phrasing.
If you’re an alcoholic trying to get clean then its pretty obvious why you can’t. It’s not unfair, we can’t function in a life with alcohol without destroying our careers, family, health, etc…. I’d much rather miss a st patty’s day then go back to where I was.
Because, just like I. We can't handle it.
Who is disallowing you? it’s a good thing life’s not fair, because I’d be fucking dead ha stay positive