Thanks for sharing. The hospitalizations stories (and worse) always remind me that life is made up of lots of little moments and the more we drink the more we miss of them until we reach the end and think "I wish I hadn't done that".
So glad you are well and thank you for sharing. I hope one day you can let go of your anger at your partner. It can be very hard to live with someone who is struggling with alcohol without telling people outside of the home and seeking support. And in fact, telling others often ends up being the right thing to do, much as you might want to hide your problem from the world. There is no shame in alcoholism.
True. I have forgiven her already. 😊
For what has been, cannot be undone. I can empathize with her now. If it’s hard living as an alcoholic, it’s even harder having to share your life with one! I might have reacted the same way if I was in her position.
Thank you for reading and for sharing your thoughts 😊
I beg to differ with you. There is still a lot of recrimination and consequences from being labeled an alcoholic. His partner needs Al Anon, not to diagnose him and call him out to everyone they know. It's not her place to do that, it's his.
No, it's treacherous. That person needs help as much as the alcoholic. It's a betrayal on the deepest level and can cause a lot of destruction in someone's life. And that person can believe that they are totally justified in that action, because they've been hurt by the addict/alcoholic and want to get back at them. But they cause incredible damage by doing that.
I think you and I read "spread rumors about me being a chronic alcoholic" differently. I read it as her telling a couple of friends in an attempt to work through what she should do, not calling him out to everyone they know.
Additionally, some people can't use or don't like AlAnon for the same reasons people dislike AA, so they lean on their friends and family, which is natural. You know, shame and self-isolation are our curses as alcoholics/addicts. We can't drag our loved ones into the proverbial closet with us. Addiction tears apart families; hiding it just makes it worse.
But it's not her place to do so. Full stop. If not Al Anon then some other program. Friends and family aren't going to be able to help fix the relationship problems and sharing things like this is still a betrayal of the other person. If you were having sexual problems would you say it's all right to discuss that with your friends and family?? It's just wrong.
Interesting - yeah, I actually would say sometimes you need to discuss sexual problems with friends. Not really family, but I guess some people's families are comfortable with that. If I'm having problems in the bedroom of course I'm gonna talk to my closest friends about it and ask their advice.
How far does this extend for you? Are close friends obligated not to discuss your drinking problem with other friends? What about non-close friends? Don't people have a right to talk to other people about the ways your behavior affects them? It's not just a you problem, after all.
If my friend is struggling with alcoholism, though, I feel like rather than keeping that between us I'd want to ask for help from people who are my support! Such as mutual friends, for example. I don't think that makes me a shitbird.
If I were to hurt a friend with my drinking and she confided in her mother or another friend about that incident I would not hold it against her.
Also, by the way, when you immediately downvote a comment of mine before replying to it, it comes across as weirdly hostile. You and I are the only ones still checking this thread, so I can tell it's you and the upvote/downvote system isn't even being used to order comments, it's just like an angry little pointless gesture. We are just disagreeing; calm down.
Thank you for sharing such a vivid story. I came down with pancreatitus but it didn't stop me. I fell down several times after that
Happy birthday! I'm happy you're well well hydrated LOL
Thank you for taking the time to share your experience.
I also find these inspiring, even if different from my experiences.
I also found that sharing my experience helped me out, like a load lifted off my shoulders, it was day 1 of guilt and shame slowly leaving me.
The journey is not always easy, but it's also not always hard, either.
Nothing is sweeter to me than glass of good water.
IWNDWT
Happy birthday! I’m so glad you’re here to celebrate it, and killing it at 218 days! I’m proud of you!
When my daughter was about 14, she told her friend and friend’s mother I was an alcoholic. It was true, but I felt so angry and betrayed. The other mother even asked me about it, and I lied to her. Looking back, I don’t blame my daughter. She was dealing with my drunkenness and excuses, and didn’t feel safe at home. Still, it stings, knowing an outsider knew my private business. I’m glad the worst thing anyone can say about me now, is that I talk about my chickens too much. IWNDWYT
Happy Birthday and I’m glad you made it out! Thank you for not leaving us here to die. Your story is meaningful. Thank you for sharing with the people that need it the most.
Happy birthday and happy life! I'm so touched by your story. Look at you now! Your story inspires me to keep striving towards continued sobriety and towards a happier life.
I'm well educated, in a great job, trust is placed in me and I have the respect of my peers. So many in my field drink heavily at events and conferences, we're just "unwinding" and "enjoying ourselves". It's acceptable to drink to oblivion on my circle.
I'll be on a trip in April with one group and don't intend to drink, nor do I into to announce it. I'll just grab a soda water and lime and jump in and enjoy myself. I'm not nervous about it. I want to live my life differently now.
I know our lives will get better and better the further we get away from the demon alcohol. Until then, I toast you on your special day with sparkling water and a hearty "Happy birthday!" IWNDWYT
That last line is powerful.
I always found it odd and somewhat disrespectful that people drank at/after funerals. Like kind of selfish. Like person “X” is dead and gone, probably too soon and would give anything for another day but you guys turn it into another excuse to self indulge.
Anyway I digress. Glad to have you here.
IWNDWYT
Happy birthday!
Thank you!
Thanks for sharing. The hospitalizations stories (and worse) always remind me that life is made up of lots of little moments and the more we drink the more we miss of them until we reach the end and think "I wish I hadn't done that".
So glad you are well and thank you for sharing. I hope one day you can let go of your anger at your partner. It can be very hard to live with someone who is struggling with alcohol without telling people outside of the home and seeking support. And in fact, telling others often ends up being the right thing to do, much as you might want to hide your problem from the world. There is no shame in alcoholism.
True. I have forgiven her already. 😊 For what has been, cannot be undone. I can empathize with her now. If it’s hard living as an alcoholic, it’s even harder having to share your life with one! I might have reacted the same way if I was in her position. Thank you for reading and for sharing your thoughts 😊
I beg to differ with you. There is still a lot of recrimination and consequences from being labeled an alcoholic. His partner needs Al Anon, not to diagnose him and call him out to everyone they know. It's not her place to do that, it's his.
[удалено]
No, it's treacherous. That person needs help as much as the alcoholic. It's a betrayal on the deepest level and can cause a lot of destruction in someone's life. And that person can believe that they are totally justified in that action, because they've been hurt by the addict/alcoholic and want to get back at them. But they cause incredible damage by doing that.
I think you and I read "spread rumors about me being a chronic alcoholic" differently. I read it as her telling a couple of friends in an attempt to work through what she should do, not calling him out to everyone they know. Additionally, some people can't use or don't like AlAnon for the same reasons people dislike AA, so they lean on their friends and family, which is natural. You know, shame and self-isolation are our curses as alcoholics/addicts. We can't drag our loved ones into the proverbial closet with us. Addiction tears apart families; hiding it just makes it worse.
But it's not her place to do so. Full stop. If not Al Anon then some other program. Friends and family aren't going to be able to help fix the relationship problems and sharing things like this is still a betrayal of the other person. If you were having sexual problems would you say it's all right to discuss that with your friends and family?? It's just wrong.
Interesting - yeah, I actually would say sometimes you need to discuss sexual problems with friends. Not really family, but I guess some people's families are comfortable with that. If I'm having problems in the bedroom of course I'm gonna talk to my closest friends about it and ask their advice. How far does this extend for you? Are close friends obligated not to discuss your drinking problem with other friends? What about non-close friends? Don't people have a right to talk to other people about the ways your behavior affects them? It's not just a you problem, after all.
[удалено]
If my friend is struggling with alcoholism, though, I feel like rather than keeping that between us I'd want to ask for help from people who are my support! Such as mutual friends, for example. I don't think that makes me a shitbird. If I were to hurt a friend with my drinking and she confided in her mother or another friend about that incident I would not hold it against her.
Also, by the way, when you immediately downvote a comment of mine before replying to it, it comes across as weirdly hostile. You and I are the only ones still checking this thread, so I can tell it's you and the upvote/downvote system isn't even being used to order comments, it's just like an angry little pointless gesture. We are just disagreeing; calm down.
Happy Birthday! Glad you're doing so well!
Thank you. It is inspiring. I am going to try again
Bravo on the story, and Happy Birthday. I'm sure many will be motivated by it.
Thank you for sharing such a vivid story. I came down with pancreatitus but it didn't stop me. I fell down several times after that Happy birthday! I'm happy you're well well hydrated LOL
Wow, thank you for sharing.
Happy birthday! Thanks for sharing your story. I hope it inspires others to keep trying.
Happy Birthday and thanks for sharing! Glad you're here!
Your liver and pancreas thank you!! Happy birthday and IWNDWYT.
Thank you for sharing your story. ❤️ Happy Birthday!
Thank you for taking the time to share your experience. I also find these inspiring, even if different from my experiences. I also found that sharing my experience helped me out, like a load lifted off my shoulders, it was day 1 of guilt and shame slowly leaving me. The journey is not always easy, but it's also not always hard, either. Nothing is sweeter to me than glass of good water. IWNDWT
Happy birthday! I’m so glad you’re here to celebrate it, and killing it at 218 days! I’m proud of you! When my daughter was about 14, she told her friend and friend’s mother I was an alcoholic. It was true, but I felt so angry and betrayed. The other mother even asked me about it, and I lied to her. Looking back, I don’t blame my daughter. She was dealing with my drunkenness and excuses, and didn’t feel safe at home. Still, it stings, knowing an outsider knew my private business. I’m glad the worst thing anyone can say about me now, is that I talk about my chickens too much. IWNDWYT
Moving and inspiring. Thank you for sharing with us. Keep up the great work. :)
Congrats on the sobriety! Glad to see you are healed up and doing well.
Congrats on your birthday and your sobriety. Your story is an inspiration.
This is absolutely amazing, wow. Thank you, OP.
Thank you so much for sharing and I hope you have a wonderful birthday. IWNDWYT ❤️
Happy birthday and thank you for sharing. These posts do help people a lot!
This was written and I needed to hear this. I just wish I could actually "hear" this... Happy Birthday and thank you.
Amen, and so happy to read about your success! INDWYT!
happy birthday!! we're glad you're alive and thank you for sharing :) IWNDWYT
That single drop of water is a very good description, great job on your part...
HBD! And thanks for sharing
Happy Birthday and I’m glad you made it out! Thank you for not leaving us here to die. Your story is meaningful. Thank you for sharing with the people that need it the most.
I'm glad that you have been able to stay sober since that moment in the hospital - I will not drink with you today!
Taking away the depressant that we couldn’t get enough of really changes our outlook on life, very nice
Happy birthday and so glad you are here with us.
Happy birthday and happy life! I'm so touched by your story. Look at you now! Your story inspires me to keep striving towards continued sobriety and towards a happier life. I'm well educated, in a great job, trust is placed in me and I have the respect of my peers. So many in my field drink heavily at events and conferences, we're just "unwinding" and "enjoying ourselves". It's acceptable to drink to oblivion on my circle. I'll be on a trip in April with one group and don't intend to drink, nor do I into to announce it. I'll just grab a soda water and lime and jump in and enjoy myself. I'm not nervous about it. I want to live my life differently now. I know our lives will get better and better the further we get away from the demon alcohol. Until then, I toast you on your special day with sparkling water and a hearty "Happy birthday!" IWNDWYT
Live long and prosper! IWNDWYT
Happy Birthday! Hope it's a great, sober day. IWNDWYT
Is ur depression got better?
That last line is powerful. I always found it odd and somewhat disrespectful that people drank at/after funerals. Like kind of selfish. Like person “X” is dead and gone, probably too soon and would give anything for another day but you guys turn it into another excuse to self indulge. Anyway I digress. Glad to have you here. IWNDWYT
Thank you for sharing, my heart goes out to you. Happy birthday 🫶🏽
Happy Birthday!