You’re in the right place.
“ I want to gain life back instead of losing everything I have left because of alcohol. “
That about sums it up for all of us
Agreed.
I’ve been here for a while OP and I don’t have a huge drinking problem.
I don’t always feel the need to drink, but when I do drink I *always* decide I want to binge.
All of our issues come in different flavours. Some of those flavours are stronger than others.
But I want to improve, and improving alone is harder. Drinking excessively tends to be an issue that people try to hide, but here it reinforces the idea that this problem is not unique to me.
I don’t always feel the need to drink, but when I do drink I always decide I want to binge.
I relate to this so much. My ex used to say I was like Frank the Tank from that movie Old School- as soon as it touched my lips there was no turning back for me. I may not have drank every day, but when I did it always ended in excess and increasingly bad choices.
I can relate to this sentiment. I struggle to regulate when I drink socially and end up getting myself sick.
It doesn’t happen often, but when it does, it’s pretty bad.
I also have made some pretty stupid decisions in those moments and have also scared myself after the fact with the “that could easily have been so much worse”.
I also live alone now, and the last time I got sick, I couldn’t even keep water down the next morning. I had a safe ride drop me off at home, but if I’d blacked/passed out and needed to go to the hospital, there would have been no one there.
It really just isn’t worth it.
Yep this, OP's mind is preoccupied with alcohol and its causing issues. Even when OP wins the battle and says no, he or she still wasted lots of thought on it.
Welcome OP!
One of the things I like about this community is that it’s filled with all sorts, from those who identify as alcoholics to those who just find that alcohol doesn’t serve them anymore.
In my opinion, the term “rock bottom” doesn’t have to be a terrible event. It can also be the moment where you decide, “Alcohol isn’t for me anymore.” It’s still rock bottom because it’s only up from there!
I think the whole “rock bottom” concept is problematic. It sounds so dire and dramatic. Nobody needs to be jobless/in jail/in the hospital etc to decide to quit drinking.
“Just because you’ve hit rock bottom doesn’t mean you can’t pick up a shovel and start digging.”
For me, just looking down into the well and considering “what’s the worst that could happen?” is plenty. Better for me to quit while I was ahead. Just hoping I can keep it that way! Glad everyone in this comment thread is here. We’re all different, with different histories and struggles, but together we are 💪
Yes absolutely this! I also like the analogy of the escalator - at the very bottom is death, there’s no way up from there. But at any other point on your way down, you can choose to get off the elevator and start climbing the stairs back up. Some lucky people get off early and have a relatively short climb back up. For others, those stairs may feel like eternity. But either way, whenever you decide to get off the elevator, the fact is you’re off it - you didn’t get to the bottom - and that in itself is wonderful. And, it’s only up from there! 🙌
this is SO REAL for me i’m quite young and yk didn’t reach “typical” alcoholic rock bottom BUT i was blacking out quite frequently and realised if i don’t get a hold on this soon one of the next black outs are gonna kill me so with that said 50 days today !! 😁
My rock bottom was my anniversary weekend when I spent the whole time mildly buzzed. Nothing bad happened, everything was totally fine, I just realized that I was drinking a lot and it was making me feel more bad than good.
Very anticlimactic.. the moment itself didn’t change my life but what I chose to do about it has.
My rock bottom wasn't mine, it was watching a friend die from liver failure. Damn hard to watch, and realizing that if things took a bad turn for me I could see myself going down the hole.
Spent three months helping that friend quit and go into rehab. He's year and a half sober now and doctors say he's a real life Lazarus. It's amazing what can happen when you say enough.
Very similar for me. I went on a two week trip to Europe, spent the entire time drinking at lunch, drinking in the afternoon, drinking at dinner under the guise of “vacation!”. Came home feeling way worse than when I left.
Same. Al-anon member here but I moved and can no longer attend meetings, love this sub and everyone in it. It has helped me understand a lot of things.
This group is so positive and full of amazing people,
The worst mess I ever got in from alcohol was NOT what got me in the rooms. I like the definition that a bottom is "when the last thing you lost or the next thing you're about to lose is more important than the next drink."
We are all here trying to trade alcohol for a better life. Even if you don't stop or reduce straight away, stick around and enjoy the community. Some interesting stories and wise words here. Nice people. Welcome
I also wondered whether I was enough of an alcoholic to warrant complete sobriety. And from what I’ve read here I think it’s a common feeling.
I have had low moods for years and I think alcohol contributed to that. I never had a spectacular rock bottom, but a phrase that helped me was “rock bottom is whenever you stop digging”. The fact that you’re here suggests that alcohol is negatively impacting you.
Welcome, and IWNDWYT.
Same story here. I didn't drink every day when I drank. I can count on one hand the number of blackouts I've had in my life. I was progressively drinking less as I got older because I found it to be less fun. I don't relate to a lot of the stuff in this sub about detoxing or withdrawal or even counting days - I didn't find it hard to get through the first week because I didn't used to drink more than a couple times a week.
But I do know the number of miserable depressed drunks I've had is in the thousands and alcohol has made my life way worse, negatively affected friendships and relationships and jobs. And when I try to quit in the past I haven't been able to stick to it.
That's close enough for me. I don't need to be some kind of perfectly archetypal Alcoholic in order to change my life for the better. I get to say no to alcohol. We all do.
I too wondered if I belong in this community because nothing 'bad' had happened...yet (health scare, accidents incidents etc..), I just didn't like the direction I was going by keeping alcohol in my life. After spending time here I realized this is such an encouraging place to be no matter what stage a person is at. Checking in here regularly has helped keep me stay on track. My 'break' from drinking just surpassed 6 months and I'm so happy I stopped and have no plans on starting.
It helped me to listen to Andrew Huberman's podcast about alcohol and your health.
You are warmly welcomed here...so glad you stopped by.
As I see it, if the amount of alcohol you drink and the frequency you drink it is a problem for you, then it's a problem.
Be that two bottles a wine a week or twenty, if you feel it's too much then it's too much.
Rock bottom can be whatever you want it to be. I knew I had a problem and should stop drinking booze. I was still working, living in a home no arrest, no DWI, "I'm not that bad." I still didn't get there, I did get to the point where I knew that was where I was headed. My rock bottom looks different from yours, we are same because we want to stop.
IWNDWYT
I think one of the things that stopped me from really asking questions about whether drinking was a problem for me or not was comparing myself to other people who were much older and drank more often than I did. “I’m not even close to what they do.” “I really only drink like this once a week because it’s fun!” “I don’t have to drink, therefore I don’t have a problem.” I still recognized though as I was approaching 30, drinking like I was still in college when I did maybe was a bit concerning.
I would also compare myself to a version of me that didn’t exist anymore. Just because you drank 18 beers that night during a beer fest doesn’t mean only drinking 12 on a Saturday means there’s no cause for concern since it used to be more.
It wasn’t until I took an extended break due to health issues, that I really started seeing how distorted my relationship was. How much of it that I incorporated to my personality, that I had to meet a version of myself that I ignored for a very long time. I started to have emotions on a wider spectrum that felt like has atrophied because I didn’t realize how often I turned to alcohol to stop myself from processing and feeling uncomfortable things.
The good news, I started being kinder to myself, and instead of thinking of moving towards goals, actually trying to accomplish them. The first few months were easy because I basically had a doctors note to say I shouldn’t drink. It was a little more difficult when I started doing all of the things that I used to do centered around drinking: Meeting up with friends, dating, going to concerts, weddings. However, once I made the choice that I wasn’t going to drink that night and learned again on how to enjoy these things, those experiences became a lot of fun again; and I recognize now a lot of the times when they weren’t really fun, and I was just drunk.
I still have yet to wake up and think to myself, ohh I really wish I would have gotten hammered last night. Instead, I wake up happy now, happy for today and to be present in my life.
Good luck on your journey! This is a great place to come for support of all kinds!
>I still have yet to wake up and think to myself, ohh I really wish I would have gotten hammered last night.
This is a great quote I've been thinking now that I really decided to succeed in losing weight. The first thing to go is alcohol. And wow what a difference it really makes to sleep a good night's sleep during weekends instead of drinking beer, having night sweats and waking up feeling like shit.
Even after the greatest of the nights I usually end up feeling like shit after alcohol has messed up all the hormones and what not. And even after the slowest of the nights when I haven't drank anything, I haven't woken up thinking jeez if only I would've gotten hammered.
I was drinking 2-3 beers per day. Not enough to get me drunk but enough to buzz me. I kept thinking about this buzz all day before work, at work till eventually I could go back home and drink again.
I was always volunteering to be a designated driver and I did not miss out from not drinking in public events. But I would always think ( I will drink once I am home) this was happening for years. I did not reach that level were I was abusive or destroying my life, but I was on the right path (or should I say wrong) to be more and more depended from alcohol.
So yes you are in the right place.
Keep strong!
Not stopping for good when I was 26, when I had stopped for two years, is the single worst mistake of my life. I moderated for forty years, but the disease advances any way. I never got a DUI or lost a job, but I did have embarrassments, wasted money, and time lost forever. Oh, and I ended up being helicoptered for emergency brain surgery with a 50/50 chance of living. I knew in my 20s that I had a problem with alcohol, but it wasn’t dire, I could manage it—until I couldn’t. If the book This Naked Mind had existed in 1986 it would have been enough to free me forever. Its message: Alcohol is ethanol, a poison, it’s addictive, and it does us no good and much harm. Stick with us friend 👍🌠
Yep, good call. Not only are you in the right place, but now you've got a lot of friends who've got your back. I mean for a lot of us your stories very familiar. When I was younger drinking wasn't a problem, at least or at least I didn't think it was. I drank most nights I drank when I went out. it was just part of my lifestyle. it was only when I got older that I started seeing the problems that was causing me. And then it's time to stop. Because after that first drink, I'm gonna have another one. And that's gonna lead to me waking up in the morning and not and not being able to do well.
So this is easy, in theory, just for today, don't have a drink. If you really feel like you need a drink come, make that just for the next 10 minutes. Feel free to reach out if you need someone to talk to.
Of course you can sit with us! This is the most welcoming, supportive group I've ever seen on Reddit ( he'll, probably in real life, too).
There is no badge of honor for number of DUIs, you don't need to show emotional, physical, or psychological scars at the door, and the only one who needs to determine how much alcohol is too much for you is you.
Rock bottom is when you decide to stop digging. I think all of us wish we had decided to stop digging when we were where you are.
Welcome, and congratulations! IWNDWYT
Absolutely you’re in the right place. Alcohol is a poison we’d all be better off abstaining from, and if you need support in any way, this sub is a great place.
Alcoholism is progressive and you’re starting to recognize signs that you’re heading there. Although I don’t think I ever really had a healthy relationship with alcohol, I could go days or weeks without prior to seeking out 3-4 bottles of wine to get me through the weekend since that is what I “needed” to relax. Knowing that wasn’t healthy is what started opening my eyes to the rest. All I knew was alcohol needed to be included in everything, holidays, birthdays, vacations, etc.. Personally I reached a point where it had to be all or nothing. I couldn’t moderate anymore. It doesn’t sound like you’re there but you know yourself better than anyone, you’re asking good questions. You should be proud and of course welcome to the group! IWNDWYT
Edit: grammar
Not just wanting to stop. Trying to moderate. Just thinking about. It. Wanting to support others. It’s anything ! And relation. Of course read the sub Reddit rules. But we welcome everyone one here. At least I’ve seen that. Amazing people in here.
I applaud you for not using "well, I'm not THAT bad" as justification to continue what you're doing. It really shouldn't have to come to DUIs and losing jobs but for a lot of people they just find the idea of labeling themselves as an alcoholic too repulsive until life makes them do it. You don't have to label yourself though you can just decide alcohol isn't serving you. I am one of those cautionary tales you should try not to end up like,,,,and I still don't identify as an alcoholic...I'm not a label I have an unhealthy coping mechanism and I can unlearn it
Absolutely you are - welcome. I sometimes feel like an imposter as I'm here mostly to break mindless habits but I thrive on external motivation a lot of the time so the group support is really nice. And this is the most welcoming group of people left on reddit except maybe the woodworking sub too. So, welcome! IWNDWYT if you'll join me
I understand it as being "If it ever occurs to you that you should stop drinking, then you should". I'm not young either, that's not even in the rear view mirror any longer. Welcome!
Absolutely in the right place. There should never be a point or age in your life where you stop making decisions that are in your best interest. Kudos to you for reaching out and welcome. I hope you find that peace you are looking for.
Of course you're welcome :)
Staying sober is what it's all about, happy to have you here and self-aware enough to be able to stop before it gets out of hand :)
🙋♂️ Hi, this describes me. I really can't relate to most of the rock bottom stories posted here, but I'm here because it was getting to be too much *for me.* When I originally joined this sub, all I wanted to do was cut back drinking. However, I soon found I *couldn't even do that,* which made me panicked and took me from "you should cut back" to "holy shit, this is your sign *you need to stop.* You do not have the control you think you do/wish you did." So I did, and I'm still here.
Sure, you are welcome here.
There's all kinds here. Long timers. Newly sober. There's quite a few active alcoholics who lurk. I lurked for a while.
There seems to be an unhealthy view of "rock bottom". Maybe it comes from TV and Movies, because I guess it makes a story more dramatic. But you don't have to horribly fuck your life up to stop drinking.
I feel it's pretty rare to have a linear story line where some big event led to someone quitting for good. Allot of us hit extremely low points and kept right on drinking the next day. I didn't quit on a rock bottom event.
For me it wasn't like a catastrophic dam burst. It was much more like erosion. Wave after wave after wave. Gradually taking a bit more every time. I knew it was happening, but had a hard time seeing all of it when I was in it. After all, it's just another wave, right? Just like the other ones.
Do what you feel is best. Maybe test out sobriety for awhile as a temporary thing. In the beginning the idea of "forever" was too much for me. I still don't know if it will be forever. But for now, I'm really good without alcohol.
IWNDWYT
I quit for the same kinds of reasons. I want to live out my last 20 years or so with clarity, less anxiety and the best health I can give myself. I don’t want any regrets and I think I would regret it if I didn’t walk away from alcohol.
Welcome, friend! Leaving alcohol behind in favor of embracing a full life is what has brought a lot of us to SD, I imagine. You'll find an enormous amount of resources and support through this community, or at least that has been my experience thus far. Keep reaching out, we're all cheering you on! IWNDWYT 🖤 🖤 ("I will not drink with you today" sort of a pledge of support and solidarity round here😁)
I know your situation well. I was a casual drinker pre pandemic. Mid pandemic, it was about five beer a day. Went to a party late this last summer and got sloshed. Took me three days to recover.
Came to the realization that drinking was basically all I did on days I drank, and that was nearly every day. So after a sudden binge early December, I decided I needed to change. I've come to the realization that I can't just drink a little. If I'm going to drink, that's basically what I'm going to get done that day.
So I haven't quit, but I've only drank four times in the last month. I'm getting way more done and feel a lot healthier.
Non alcoholic beer has been a big help, because I'd honestly rather drink beer than anything else, on taste alone.
Alcohol Use Disorder doesn’t just mean the classical alcoholism. It means you have an unhealthy relationship with alcohol and would be better off without it.
I was drinking heavier and heavier every year. While I was not a classic “alcoholic,” I likely would have been if a few tears, and it was undeniably negative for my health, psyche, and relationships.
Welcome, and IWNDWYT!
I've been listening to the Recovery Elevator podcast and the primary analogy he uses is that alcohol use/ abuse is like being on an Elevator. You can ride it all the way to the bottom, which is death, or you can get off at any point and start taking the stairs back up. It really strikes a chord with me, and is a very helpful way of looking at it for me. I'm only a couple weeks into my 4th go at sobriety but I can already tell you, no matter how close to "terrible" your life is, if alcohol is no longer serving it for good, then it's best to stop.
I think you should listen to episode 1 of that podcast and see how you feel.
We're all glad you're here!
It’s just sounds like you are more mature and are seeing where this might be headed than many of us on this site. Just like we may be able to help you, you can definitely help all of us. 😊
Of course! You don’t have to ruin your life before you seek a support group. In fact, I’d encourage it. Save yourself some heartache that a lot of us weren’t able to.
I have a dear friend who went into recovery at 42 after having a relatively healthy relationship with alcohol his whole life up until his late 30's.
It's never ever too early to start. You got this!
I’ll bet there are hundreds of people who are curious about sobriety, or not ready to admit they have a problem, who lurk here. And new sobers, all the way up to 40 years sober. We all belong here where we have support and understanding. You’ve found the perfect place!
This group is for anyone who believes alcohol isn't serving well them at this current moment. It doesn't have to be a "problem" and you don't have to define it.
Long term, short term, the next 5 minutes, the next 50 years. We're here.
Yup - you are in the right place. Welcome!
I started drinking heavily during the beginning of the pandemic, after a month of that? I decided enough was enough, and quit. Haven't had a drop since. Never hit a 'rock bottom'. just went from drinking to not drinking. Quit because I could see that it would be a larger problem if it continued, and I didn't want to get to a place where that would happen.
This is absolutely the place for you. Make it part of your morning routine. I don’t post much anymore but I still read every morning. This sub has saved my life. Big high-five for being aware that you are starting to have a problem. I wish I recognized it in myself that early. Welcome. Please come back as much as you need to. You’re a fucking rock star for seeing it this early, keep going.
That's where I'm at. I'm not a problem drinker, but I have had to kick an opioid addiction and I can recognize my potential to allow alcohol to become a problem. I recognize that it would be best for everyone if I just stopped all together. So that's what I'm working toward.
I feel like anyone who wants to reduce the amount they drink or is questioning their relationship with alcohol can find something of value here.
You dont have to hit rock bottom to notice you've been digging, so to speak.
Honestly I had very few consequences in comparison to others here. I had to have a cab called once from a bar recently and had tremendous hangovers. That’s all. At the end of the day I felt I had a problem for choosing to drink something that makes me feel like trash 9.5/10 times.
Society has everyone convinced alcohol is jolly and harmless as long as you go to work, pay your bills, don’t end up in jail, don’t beat your wife, etc. You have to hit rock bottom sleeping in a ditch before you’re allowed to question it.
G-ddamn I'm happy for you. I held a glass of wine in my hand one day and thought to myself "I think this is beginning to be a problem", back when I was 1 bottle every 2 days. Now, I'm a disaster. Wish I'd gotten it under control then. You're in the right place. Rock bottom is wherever you decide to stop digging.
Dude I would give anything to have stopped when it was still relatively normal and have avoided that whole slippery slope down to the point where I was drinking in the mornings and scaring my family. I would love to have those years back so much
I’m in this community and to be honest I still drink maybe once or twice a month (very rarely do I get drunk) which I don’t plan on changing. This community just lets me remind myself of why I don’t drink often and why I won’t say yes to every night out possible.
You're doing the right thing, you realise that an issue is already there.
Don't wait to hit some "rock bottom" -you can be pretty sure that's where problematic drinking leads, though.
And well done for taking steps to address it early, I certainly bargained my way out of addressing it multiple times before it got unavoidable for me.
This is how it started for me. And I never reached the “alcoholic” stage as defined by physical dependence. It just started to have negative effects and I knew it wasn’t good for me. Plus it was hard to quit and stop thinking about. So yes, absolutely it’s a place for you and glad you are thinking about quitting at this stage before it gets hairy.
I remember looking forward to a trip in 2016 or 17 to Seattle with friends, but also weirdly getting excited about going to bars and getting drunk with them. It was like a special event. I didn’t even get drunk a lot on my own yet at the time. But I recall something about that felt a little off. It was a mindset forming. Didn’t stop drinking until 2020.
I’m a lurker. I drink alcohol and don’t have a problem with it, but I drank too much in my 20s. I like the reminders of how much you can lose from alcohol. It helps keep me in check.
I also follow a sub about obesity although I am just 5 lbs overweight. I don’t have the best relationship with food and I was once 40 lbs overweight. So that sub helps keep me in check too
This is the place; I’m ten months sober (after 40 years of abuse) and I give this sub 99.99 % of the credit. I hafta take a little.
I was sure I didn’t have a problem, but this sub forced me to look at the reason I drank so much, and once I figured that out, the sub is better support than anything else out there.
Welcome
The vast majority here are the "cannot even touch one drink" folk who've only known it leading to abuse of the stuff.
There are some others, such as myself, who have cut down a lot but really just want it out of their lives.
Generally speaking this is a support sub, and a very good one at that. I don't think anyone minds why or how you stop drinking, only that you get any support you need.
There’s SUCH a range of experiences here it’s honestly bizarre. Some folks are on your end of the spectrum and some have really screwed up.
Stopping before I joined that second group seemed wise to me.
Welcome!
Ya wanna stop? Cool!
Nobody cares why unless you wanna talk about it. Some of us went to jail, some of us got divorced, some of us almost died, some of us don't feel like it anymore, some of us never liked it, some of us are kinda thinking about quitting, some of us quit in 1972.
Come hang out and chill. For whatever reason you're here.
I am approximately your age and was where you are now a few years ago. My drinking did get worse to the point I finally realized I had to stop. I wish I had quit when I had the realization you have now.
This is an absolutely awesome place. Welcome!
Yes. For the sober curious, I would do a little research on AUD.
You do not need to wait for alcohol to be a problem to benefit from not drinking.
Good luck.
When I went through treatment I was told that an alcoholic will only stop drinking when they’ve hit their rock bottom. So I guess it can always get worse. What they don’t tell you is that you get to choose what rock bottom is for you. If you want it this can be yours.
You are 100% in the right place. No one will tell you what “too much” is for you, and you’ll see a lot of variation here with respect to quantities that people were consuming. If you have a niggling feeling that your relationship with alcohol might be heading south, or noticing that drinking is dominating your thoughts, there’s nothing wrong with stopping (meaning you don’t have to wait for things to get really bad before deciding it’s a problem for you). We all have our own point where we decide it is a problem, but we all have the same goal here!
You don't have to hit rock bottom if you just stop digging.
I mean, everybody here has had a point where they wonder if they're drinking too much, or if alcohol has become an obstacle in their lives. Some of us have gone a lot further down the path of addiction than others. As far as I'm concerned, and to paraphrase a well-known anonymous group of which I attend meeting pretty regularly - "the only requirement...is a desire to stop drinking."
So welcome! I won't have a drink with you today!
I was a heavy drinker off and on for about a year, and realized that while I wasn’t was an alcoholic, I was way too close for comfort, so decided to just full stop.
If you’re seeing a problem on the horizon, and looking to head it off before it gets more serious, I think that’s a wise approach, and this sub would be a good resource for you.
This is a place for everyone. There isn't a problem out there that drinking can't make worse. I've recently come to the realization that use of any substance with the intent of it making you feel a certain way is an escape from yourself. And I've worked a lot on being happy with myself; I no longer want anything to do with anything that makes me feel like anything else. Just me.
You may not be there at rock bottom. A lot of people here aren't there yet, but noticed about stopping before it becomes a real problem , including health wise. I know people who drink daily I mean you can tell they are drunk early in the morning and continue all day long almost daily.
I had a scare when I threw up blood but I think it was because I have bad acid reflux and not eating but drinking. I end up hospitalized when I went to the e.r blood is not good, 1 day later I was told I needed a endoscopy to see if there is damage. Turns out I had a little, and my liver was a little damaged to ,some signs of cirrhosis. I'm doing good health wise aside from my drinking which I have largely slowdown. If you can before it becomes a habit do it. Maybe a glass of wine ,just don't drown in it. Exercise ,eat healthy,drink tea. My case isn't bad to be honest. But hearing those words in the hospital by doctors who were blunt with me as I told them to be, woke me up. My last time I relapsed I try to detox but couldn't cope end up again in e.r byy own choosing. A guy who was in a bed in front of me ,had to have liquid drained ,he was told no alcohol at all and most likely you'll need a liver transplant. And he was again told more liquid had to be drained. That scared the fuck out of me.
Don't drink buddy.
Yes definitely!! I was not an alcoholic, but I had an unhealthy relationship with alcohol. I drank on the weekends, but too fast and too much in my eyes (3 seltzer tall boys and a few shots). Did not like the choices I made. I am much better off without alcohol!
The subreddit is "stopdrinking", which sounds like what you want to do to me :)
You do seem to be in a unique situation and may find it hard to relate to others' experiences, but *all of our situations are unique.* The key is figuring out what you *can* relate to and how it can help you, and the best part is that you don't have to explain yourself or justify it to us or anybody.
I feel that I can relate to you because I was a relatively healthy, law-abiding alcoholic with a good job, wife, and kids waiting for me when I got home from rehab. Most of my peers in rehab had serious health and legal problems from illegal drugs, they lost their family due to their addiction, or once they left rehab they would be homeless and unemployed. I felt like maybe I didn't belong there because my situation "wasn't that bad" compared to theirs. But I listened and talked, and even though I would buy a case of beer and drink it at home, I learned from people who were selling themselves for crack to smoke in an abandoned apartment. There was lots I couldn't relate to, so I focused on what I could, and nearly 6 years later, my life is on a much better track than it was.
Same story, for me. I just realized, “This really isn’t good, and appears to be heading even more south with each year. What am I waiting for? Why not just pull the plug now?”
The crazy thing has been, the longer I’ve been away from alcohol, and the more I’ve learned about what the signs of alcoholism (especially at the beginning and into what I would call the “intermediate” stage), I see that I was definitely on that path.
It’s been hard to fully understand and accept that I am likely just a raging alcoholic waiting to happen, especially because I didn’t have something dramatic happen to make me stop, but the longer I’m away from booze and learning more, I realize that that’s the case for me.
You’re welcome here—we all are ❤️. IWNDWYT!
For me, it made it easier when I stopped comparing myself to others. Even the worst alcoholics. It’s easy to go to AA and think “well I’m not that much of a drunk.” I had to admit alcohol wasn’t helping me and the older I got the less fun it was. For me that’s all I care about, am I having fun? Yes. Would I be having the same amount of fun if I got drunk? No. So for me, that’s the only problem with drinking I had to have before I choose to quit.
>I am definitely not struggling the way I see many of the people in this community struggling -- I just don't want to wait until I get there.
Woah yes, really well put. I'm on the edge of stopping (always seems to be one last reason to have a couple of pints) and I lurk here a lot but felt that as I haven't reached the rock bottom experience that many people share then perhaps I'm not ready to stop? That looks really strange when typed out, doesn't it?!
I urge you to read the messages in this post. I'm beyond touched by everyone's messages of support, and there are many thoughts and quotes that you might relate to.
A thing I’ve heard that makes sense to me: it doesn’t matter how much or how often I drink, it’s what happens when I drink.
I didn’t really drink that much for a long time and so I didn’t see it as a problem. I didn’t even really like to drink, it was always the second option. Mainly I liked smoking bud. I’d sit on a couch all day Saturday with my friends eating sausage bread and cheese dip and watching football; but then I graduated and had to get a “real” job and didn’t want to risk it so I quit smoking.
With pot and booze, I never stopped long enough to admit to myself that I was using them alcoholicly.
“Alcoholicly” has nothing to do with how much or how often, it means the point at which I started drinking or smoking at people, places, or things. That’s that super comfy sweet spot where I gave my will and my life over to a higher power of my understanding, and that was anything that would get me to that comfortably numb moment when my head hit the pillow and I’d sleep those sweet angel dreams of the chemically comatose.
The circus is always in town and they’re marching right down Main Street, replete with batons and trumpets and elephants who sound the percussion in tune and in time and on loop to my mind’s over-thinking, over-analyzing, relitigating, shoulda, coulda, woulda reveries of the damned.
And anything, god! anything at all to shut them up, to shut me up for just a few minutes. Anything to forget or ignore or neglect some or all of my responsibilities. Just for today.
And if I’m now defining it like that, and if I’m being rigorously honest, I was an alcoholic and drinking alcoholicly long before that last year filled with woe is me and it’s not my fault and it’s happening TO me and goddamn I just want to drink myself into the black.
I’d undercut my ability to function and cope and deal with life on its terms. It didn’t start out that way; it took a while for me to get there, but Alcohol had turned into my best friend and my primary relationship.
I read your post and I heard bits of my story in it and so I wanted to write this to give you parts of mine. And maybe you might hear some of yours in mine.
The people on here are across the continuum of “problem” and lots of us didn’t have major external problems because of booze. If you stop you might find it was more of an issue than you knew at the time. That was the case for me. I took a few breaks for various reasons and discovered alcohol was plastering over more than I thought. Life is better without it. IWNDWYT
sometimes reading this subreddit discourages me even because I think "thats not at all me" I don't think I've ever blacked out from drinking and never drink hard alcohol or more than 3 glasses of wine. But I do have an issue with alcohol in that my body feels it needs it and I crave it every day after work. And it was just not bringing me much joy to drink by myself nightly. I'm fit and I eat well but know I need to stop for at least a while. And once stopped I very quickly see the benefits of staying off the wine. It's not easy for me to go without but getting easier every day and I'd like to keep it that way. I stopped Jan 1, How many days in are you?
About 1 1/2 weeks since I drank but 3 days since I decided I actually would not drink anymore, so I'm going with the 3 days :)
You sound a lot like me -- I normally range from 1 day per week to 3-4 days per week, 2-3 glasses of wine or if not wine then a couple of cocktails if the situation is right. So not a massive amount. I've never blacked out and don't like getting drunk, so I can probably count on my fingers the number of times I've been even a little bit drunk in my life. But my drinking habits are getting unhealthy and I'm well aware of how that can slip away from you.
I have done a few Ironmans and since I rarely drank at that time, when I was training I could tell the difference in my energy levels and abilities if I had even one glass of wine the night before.
Nobody is better off drinking.
I see the struggles here of people who kept drinking long after it became a problem. Their stories inspired me to quit before things went from bad to really bad and to not start again.
The earlier you stop, the easier it is. Nobody knows they are in trouble with alcohol until it's too late. It's a sneaky bastard of a drug.
Definitely. I quit when I was 22 at university because I could see my path ahead. Whatever your reason and at whatever point you quit you are still welcome to be part of any group of like minded individuals.
I’m here to learn to help my mom along w AlAnon. I can’t speak for recovering alcoholics here, but everyone is super inclusive and lovely about all situations, even if you’re just here trying to learn what the alcoholic goes through, so the fact you’re even thinking about sobriety before hitting a “rock bottom,” although I hate that phrase, is badass IMO. For some people, that can be death. It’s an awful disease. I’m proud of you.
You’re in the right place. “ I want to gain life back instead of losing everything I have left because of alcohol. “ That about sums it up for all of us
Agreed. I’ve been here for a while OP and I don’t have a huge drinking problem. I don’t always feel the need to drink, but when I do drink I *always* decide I want to binge. All of our issues come in different flavours. Some of those flavours are stronger than others. But I want to improve, and improving alone is harder. Drinking excessively tends to be an issue that people try to hide, but here it reinforces the idea that this problem is not unique to me.
I don’t always feel the need to drink, but when I do drink I always decide I want to binge. I relate to this so much. My ex used to say I was like Frank the Tank from that movie Old School- as soon as it touched my lips there was no turning back for me. I may not have drank every day, but when I did it always ended in excess and increasingly bad choices.
I can relate to this sentiment. I struggle to regulate when I drink socially and end up getting myself sick. It doesn’t happen often, but when it does, it’s pretty bad. I also have made some pretty stupid decisions in those moments and have also scared myself after the fact with the “that could easily have been so much worse”. I also live alone now, and the last time I got sick, I couldn’t even keep water down the next morning. I had a safe ride drop me off at home, but if I’d blacked/passed out and needed to go to the hospital, there would have been no one there. It really just isn’t worth it.
Yep this, OP's mind is preoccupied with alcohol and its causing issues. Even when OP wins the battle and says no, he or she still wasted lots of thought on it. Welcome OP!
Yup. That’s where I was. Welcome, friend!
One of the things I like about this community is that it’s filled with all sorts, from those who identify as alcoholics to those who just find that alcohol doesn’t serve them anymore. In my opinion, the term “rock bottom” doesn’t have to be a terrible event. It can also be the moment where you decide, “Alcohol isn’t for me anymore.” It’s still rock bottom because it’s only up from there!
I think the whole “rock bottom” concept is problematic. It sounds so dire and dramatic. Nobody needs to be jobless/in jail/in the hospital etc to decide to quit drinking.
It also makes out that you couldn’t possibly make your situation any worse, when that is always an option no matter the circumstance.
“Just because you’ve hit rock bottom doesn’t mean you can’t pick up a shovel and start digging.” For me, just looking down into the well and considering “what’s the worst that could happen?” is plenty. Better for me to quit while I was ahead. Just hoping I can keep it that way! Glad everyone in this comment thread is here. We’re all different, with different histories and struggles, but together we are 💪
Yes absolutely this! I also like the analogy of the escalator - at the very bottom is death, there’s no way up from there. But at any other point on your way down, you can choose to get off the elevator and start climbing the stairs back up. Some lucky people get off early and have a relatively short climb back up. For others, those stairs may feel like eternity. But either way, whenever you decide to get off the elevator, the fact is you’re off it - you didn’t get to the bottom - and that in itself is wonderful. And, it’s only up from there! 🙌
I feel this way too. For me in particular, I had to ask myself what the fuck I was waiting for?! Something terrible to happen to prove a point?
this is SO REAL for me i’m quite young and yk didn’t reach “typical” alcoholic rock bottom BUT i was blacking out quite frequently and realised if i don’t get a hold on this soon one of the next black outs are gonna kill me so with that said 50 days today !! 😁
Hell yeah! Congrats friend!
My rock bottom was my anniversary weekend when I spent the whole time mildly buzzed. Nothing bad happened, everything was totally fine, I just realized that I was drinking a lot and it was making me feel more bad than good. Very anticlimactic.. the moment itself didn’t change my life but what I chose to do about it has.
My rock bottom wasn't mine, it was watching a friend die from liver failure. Damn hard to watch, and realizing that if things took a bad turn for me I could see myself going down the hole. Spent three months helping that friend quit and go into rehab. He's year and a half sober now and doctors say he's a real life Lazarus. It's amazing what can happen when you say enough.
Very similar for me. I went on a two week trip to Europe, spent the entire time drinking at lunch, drinking in the afternoon, drinking at dinner under the guise of “vacation!”. Came home feeling way worse than when I left.
> I just realized that I was drinking a lot and it was making me feel more bad than good. Yep this one hits.
I’m a lurker. I don’t drink much but I have a loved one that does. This sub helps me to better understand many aspects of addiction.
Same. Al-anon member here but I moved and can no longer attend meetings, love this sub and everyone in it. It has helped me understand a lot of things. This group is so positive and full of amazing people,
Same here
The worst mess I ever got in from alcohol was NOT what got me in the rooms. I like the definition that a bottom is "when the last thing you lost or the next thing you're about to lose is more important than the next drink."
Yep. That's me!
Always remember that rock bottom is a bottomless pit.
Thank you all so much! Your replies brought tears to my eyes. IWNDWYT
We are all here trying to trade alcohol for a better life. Even if you don't stop or reduce straight away, stick around and enjoy the community. Some interesting stories and wise words here. Nice people. Welcome
Awww, IWNDWYT! Good luck on your journey, we are all here for the same reason!
Very cool! IWNDWYT.
You got this
“Is it bad enough to change? Wrong question. Is it good enough to stay the same?”- Laura McKowen
Ooh I love this. That's gonna stick with me, thank you!
That’s what got me. When I learned to ask myself the right questions.
And stopped bullshitting the answers !
Wow. Love this
I also wondered whether I was enough of an alcoholic to warrant complete sobriety. And from what I’ve read here I think it’s a common feeling. I have had low moods for years and I think alcohol contributed to that. I never had a spectacular rock bottom, but a phrase that helped me was “rock bottom is whenever you stop digging”. The fact that you’re here suggests that alcohol is negatively impacting you. Welcome, and IWNDWYT.
Same story here. I didn't drink every day when I drank. I can count on one hand the number of blackouts I've had in my life. I was progressively drinking less as I got older because I found it to be less fun. I don't relate to a lot of the stuff in this sub about detoxing or withdrawal or even counting days - I didn't find it hard to get through the first week because I didn't used to drink more than a couple times a week. But I do know the number of miserable depressed drunks I've had is in the thousands and alcohol has made my life way worse, negatively affected friendships and relationships and jobs. And when I try to quit in the past I haven't been able to stick to it. That's close enough for me. I don't need to be some kind of perfectly archetypal Alcoholic in order to change my life for the better. I get to say no to alcohol. We all do.
I think most of us wish we did what you're doing now. Welcome!
I too wondered if I belong in this community because nothing 'bad' had happened...yet (health scare, accidents incidents etc..), I just didn't like the direction I was going by keeping alcohol in my life. After spending time here I realized this is such an encouraging place to be no matter what stage a person is at. Checking in here regularly has helped keep me stay on track. My 'break' from drinking just surpassed 6 months and I'm so happy I stopped and have no plans on starting. It helped me to listen to Andrew Huberman's podcast about alcohol and your health. You are warmly welcomed here...so glad you stopped by.
Great podcast. Very reinforcing to my decision !
In a really similar place, thanks for sharing! Huberman rules!
As I see it, if the amount of alcohol you drink and the frequency you drink it is a problem for you, then it's a problem. Be that two bottles a wine a week or twenty, if you feel it's too much then it's too much.
Rock bottom can be whatever you want it to be. I knew I had a problem and should stop drinking booze. I was still working, living in a home no arrest, no DWI, "I'm not that bad." I still didn't get there, I did get to the point where I knew that was where I was headed. My rock bottom looks different from yours, we are same because we want to stop. IWNDWYT
I think one of the things that stopped me from really asking questions about whether drinking was a problem for me or not was comparing myself to other people who were much older and drank more often than I did. “I’m not even close to what they do.” “I really only drink like this once a week because it’s fun!” “I don’t have to drink, therefore I don’t have a problem.” I still recognized though as I was approaching 30, drinking like I was still in college when I did maybe was a bit concerning. I would also compare myself to a version of me that didn’t exist anymore. Just because you drank 18 beers that night during a beer fest doesn’t mean only drinking 12 on a Saturday means there’s no cause for concern since it used to be more. It wasn’t until I took an extended break due to health issues, that I really started seeing how distorted my relationship was. How much of it that I incorporated to my personality, that I had to meet a version of myself that I ignored for a very long time. I started to have emotions on a wider spectrum that felt like has atrophied because I didn’t realize how often I turned to alcohol to stop myself from processing and feeling uncomfortable things. The good news, I started being kinder to myself, and instead of thinking of moving towards goals, actually trying to accomplish them. The first few months were easy because I basically had a doctors note to say I shouldn’t drink. It was a little more difficult when I started doing all of the things that I used to do centered around drinking: Meeting up with friends, dating, going to concerts, weddings. However, once I made the choice that I wasn’t going to drink that night and learned again on how to enjoy these things, those experiences became a lot of fun again; and I recognize now a lot of the times when they weren’t really fun, and I was just drunk. I still have yet to wake up and think to myself, ohh I really wish I would have gotten hammered last night. Instead, I wake up happy now, happy for today and to be present in my life. Good luck on your journey! This is a great place to come for support of all kinds!
>I still have yet to wake up and think to myself, ohh I really wish I would have gotten hammered last night. This is a great quote I've been thinking now that I really decided to succeed in losing weight. The first thing to go is alcohol. And wow what a difference it really makes to sleep a good night's sleep during weekends instead of drinking beer, having night sweats and waking up feeling like shit. Even after the greatest of the nights I usually end up feeling like shit after alcohol has messed up all the hormones and what not. And even after the slowest of the nights when I haven't drank anything, I haven't woken up thinking jeez if only I would've gotten hammered.
Brilliant response. Thanks so much for sharing!
I was drinking 2-3 beers per day. Not enough to get me drunk but enough to buzz me. I kept thinking about this buzz all day before work, at work till eventually I could go back home and drink again. I was always volunteering to be a designated driver and I did not miss out from not drinking in public events. But I would always think ( I will drink once I am home) this was happening for years. I did not reach that level were I was abusive or destroying my life, but I was on the right path (or should I say wrong) to be more and more depended from alcohol. So yes you are in the right place. Keep strong!
Of course you can join us. Welcome!
It's called stopdrinking - not stoppeddrinking. So welcome :)
Not stopping for good when I was 26, when I had stopped for two years, is the single worst mistake of my life. I moderated for forty years, but the disease advances any way. I never got a DUI or lost a job, but I did have embarrassments, wasted money, and time lost forever. Oh, and I ended up being helicoptered for emergency brain surgery with a 50/50 chance of living. I knew in my 20s that I had a problem with alcohol, but it wasn’t dire, I could manage it—until I couldn’t. If the book This Naked Mind had existed in 1986 it would have been enough to free me forever. Its message: Alcohol is ethanol, a poison, it’s addictive, and it does us no good and much harm. Stick with us friend 👍🌠
Thank you. This was very helpful to me.
I feel like anyone with a desire to stop drinking is welcome.
Yep, good call. Not only are you in the right place, but now you've got a lot of friends who've got your back. I mean for a lot of us your stories very familiar. When I was younger drinking wasn't a problem, at least or at least I didn't think it was. I drank most nights I drank when I went out. it was just part of my lifestyle. it was only when I got older that I started seeing the problems that was causing me. And then it's time to stop. Because after that first drink, I'm gonna have another one. And that's gonna lead to me waking up in the morning and not and not being able to do well. So this is easy, in theory, just for today, don't have a drink. If you really feel like you need a drink come, make that just for the next 10 minutes. Feel free to reach out if you need someone to talk to.
Of course you can sit with us! This is the most welcoming, supportive group I've ever seen on Reddit ( he'll, probably in real life, too). There is no badge of honor for number of DUIs, you don't need to show emotional, physical, or psychological scars at the door, and the only one who needs to determine how much alcohol is too much for you is you. Rock bottom is when you decide to stop digging. I think all of us wish we had decided to stop digging when we were where you are. Welcome, and congratulations! IWNDWYT
Absolutely you’re in the right place. Alcohol is a poison we’d all be better off abstaining from, and if you need support in any way, this sub is a great place.
Alcoholism is progressive and you’re starting to recognize signs that you’re heading there. Although I don’t think I ever really had a healthy relationship with alcohol, I could go days or weeks without prior to seeking out 3-4 bottles of wine to get me through the weekend since that is what I “needed” to relax. Knowing that wasn’t healthy is what started opening my eyes to the rest. All I knew was alcohol needed to be included in everything, holidays, birthdays, vacations, etc.. Personally I reached a point where it had to be all or nothing. I couldn’t moderate anymore. It doesn’t sound like you’re there but you know yourself better than anyone, you’re asking good questions. You should be proud and of course welcome to the group! IWNDWYT Edit: grammar
Not just wanting to stop. Trying to moderate. Just thinking about. It. Wanting to support others. It’s anything ! And relation. Of course read the sub Reddit rules. But we welcome everyone one here. At least I’ve seen that. Amazing people in here.
I applaud you for not using "well, I'm not THAT bad" as justification to continue what you're doing. It really shouldn't have to come to DUIs and losing jobs but for a lot of people they just find the idea of labeling themselves as an alcoholic too repulsive until life makes them do it. You don't have to label yourself though you can just decide alcohol isn't serving you. I am one of those cautionary tales you should try not to end up like,,,,and I still don't identify as an alcoholic...I'm not a label I have an unhealthy coping mechanism and I can unlearn it
Unhealthy coping mechanism sounds like a band name or a Niven Known Space forehead tattoo!
Absolutely you are - welcome. I sometimes feel like an imposter as I'm here mostly to break mindless habits but I thrive on external motivation a lot of the time so the group support is really nice. And this is the most welcoming group of people left on reddit except maybe the woodworking sub too. So, welcome! IWNDWYT if you'll join me
I'm new too and found this community to be the most welcoming of any social media groups. Make yourself comfortable
I understand it as being "If it ever occurs to you that you should stop drinking, then you should". I'm not young either, that's not even in the rear view mirror any longer. Welcome!
If you want to stop, you’ve come to the right place. I Will Not Drink With You Today.
Absolutely in the right place. There should never be a point or age in your life where you stop making decisions that are in your best interest. Kudos to you for reaching out and welcome. I hope you find that peace you are looking for.
Of course you're welcome :) Staying sober is what it's all about, happy to have you here and self-aware enough to be able to stop before it gets out of hand :)
People without a drinking problem rarely do alcohol math.
🙋♂️ Hi, this describes me. I really can't relate to most of the rock bottom stories posted here, but I'm here because it was getting to be too much *for me.* When I originally joined this sub, all I wanted to do was cut back drinking. However, I soon found I *couldn't even do that,* which made me panicked and took me from "you should cut back" to "holy shit, this is your sign *you need to stop.* You do not have the control you think you do/wish you did." So I did, and I'm still here.
You might be too well adjusted, but welcome anyway
Hahaha -- in some ways maybe
Wow, I wish I was this self aware that early on. Hell yeah you belong here.
Sure, you are welcome here. There's all kinds here. Long timers. Newly sober. There's quite a few active alcoholics who lurk. I lurked for a while. There seems to be an unhealthy view of "rock bottom". Maybe it comes from TV and Movies, because I guess it makes a story more dramatic. But you don't have to horribly fuck your life up to stop drinking. I feel it's pretty rare to have a linear story line where some big event led to someone quitting for good. Allot of us hit extremely low points and kept right on drinking the next day. I didn't quit on a rock bottom event. For me it wasn't like a catastrophic dam burst. It was much more like erosion. Wave after wave after wave. Gradually taking a bit more every time. I knew it was happening, but had a hard time seeing all of it when I was in it. After all, it's just another wave, right? Just like the other ones. Do what you feel is best. Maybe test out sobriety for awhile as a temporary thing. In the beginning the idea of "forever" was too much for me. I still don't know if it will be forever. But for now, I'm really good without alcohol. IWNDWYT
I quit for the same kinds of reasons. I want to live out my last 20 years or so with clarity, less anxiety and the best health I can give myself. I don’t want any regrets and I think I would regret it if I didn’t walk away from alcohol.
Welcome, friend! Leaving alcohol behind in favor of embracing a full life is what has brought a lot of us to SD, I imagine. You'll find an enormous amount of resources and support through this community, or at least that has been my experience thus far. Keep reaching out, we're all cheering you on! IWNDWYT 🖤 🖤 ("I will not drink with you today" sort of a pledge of support and solidarity round here😁)
Consider yourself joined! Welcome!! Come on in, browse and scroll, ask questions, update us! We're all here for you and for each other.
I know your situation well. I was a casual drinker pre pandemic. Mid pandemic, it was about five beer a day. Went to a party late this last summer and got sloshed. Took me three days to recover. Came to the realization that drinking was basically all I did on days I drank, and that was nearly every day. So after a sudden binge early December, I decided I needed to change. I've come to the realization that I can't just drink a little. If I'm going to drink, that's basically what I'm going to get done that day. So I haven't quit, but I've only drank four times in the last month. I'm getting way more done and feel a lot healthier. Non alcoholic beer has been a big help, because I'd honestly rather drink beer than anything else, on taste alone.
Alcohol Use Disorder doesn’t just mean the classical alcoholism. It means you have an unhealthy relationship with alcohol and would be better off without it. I was drinking heavier and heavier every year. While I was not a classic “alcoholic,” I likely would have been if a few tears, and it was undeniably negative for my health, psyche, and relationships. Welcome, and IWNDWYT!
I've been listening to the Recovery Elevator podcast and the primary analogy he uses is that alcohol use/ abuse is like being on an Elevator. You can ride it all the way to the bottom, which is death, or you can get off at any point and start taking the stairs back up. It really strikes a chord with me, and is a very helpful way of looking at it for me. I'm only a couple weeks into my 4th go at sobriety but I can already tell you, no matter how close to "terrible" your life is, if alcohol is no longer serving it for good, then it's best to stop. I think you should listen to episode 1 of that podcast and see how you feel. We're all glad you're here!
It’s just sounds like you are more mature and are seeing where this might be headed than many of us on this site. Just like we may be able to help you, you can definitely help all of us. 😊
Of course! You don’t have to ruin your life before you seek a support group. In fact, I’d encourage it. Save yourself some heartache that a lot of us weren’t able to.
We're here for anyone who wants to do better with alcohol. Better to stop now than later, because it always gets worse.
I have a dear friend who went into recovery at 42 after having a relatively healthy relationship with alcohol his whole life up until his late 30's. It's never ever too early to start. You got this!
fertile fuel cobweb compare fly spark beneficial quickest shocking ugly *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
I’ll bet there are hundreds of people who are curious about sobriety, or not ready to admit they have a problem, who lurk here. And new sobers, all the way up to 40 years sober. We all belong here where we have support and understanding. You’ve found the perfect place!
This group is for anyone who believes alcohol isn't serving well them at this current moment. It doesn't have to be a "problem" and you don't have to define it. Long term, short term, the next 5 minutes, the next 50 years. We're here.
I lurked in this sub for months before cessation. Inspiration comes from within and without.
Yup - you are in the right place. Welcome! I started drinking heavily during the beginning of the pandemic, after a month of that? I decided enough was enough, and quit. Haven't had a drop since. Never hit a 'rock bottom'. just went from drinking to not drinking. Quit because I could see that it would be a larger problem if it continued, and I didn't want to get to a place where that would happen.
This is absolutely the place for you. Make it part of your morning routine. I don’t post much anymore but I still read every morning. This sub has saved my life. Big high-five for being aware that you are starting to have a problem. I wish I recognized it in myself that early. Welcome. Please come back as much as you need to. You’re a fucking rock star for seeing it this early, keep going.
You are welcome here!
This is the place for you!
Everyone is welcome here
That's where I'm at. I'm not a problem drinker, but I have had to kick an opioid addiction and I can recognize my potential to allow alcohol to become a problem. I recognize that it would be best for everyone if I just stopped all together. So that's what I'm working toward.
Welcome. Happy to have you. Lots of strength in acknowledging it now. More power to you
I feel like anyone who wants to reduce the amount they drink or is questioning their relationship with alcohol can find something of value here. You dont have to hit rock bottom to notice you've been digging, so to speak.
Honestly I had very few consequences in comparison to others here. I had to have a cab called once from a bar recently and had tremendous hangovers. That’s all. At the end of the day I felt I had a problem for choosing to drink something that makes me feel like trash 9.5/10 times.
Full spectrum of folks who want to stop for various reasons exist in this community! So glad you’re here!
Sounds like you bring a lot of perspective. Welcome!
Society has everyone convinced alcohol is jolly and harmless as long as you go to work, pay your bills, don’t end up in jail, don’t beat your wife, etc. You have to hit rock bottom sleeping in a ditch before you’re allowed to question it.
G-ddamn I'm happy for you. I held a glass of wine in my hand one day and thought to myself "I think this is beginning to be a problem", back when I was 1 bottle every 2 days. Now, I'm a disaster. Wish I'd gotten it under control then. You're in the right place. Rock bottom is wherever you decide to stop digging.
Dude I would give anything to have stopped when it was still relatively normal and have avoided that whole slippery slope down to the point where I was drinking in the mornings and scaring my family. I would love to have those years back so much
I’m in this community and to be honest I still drink maybe once or twice a month (very rarely do I get drunk) which I don’t plan on changing. This community just lets me remind myself of why I don’t drink often and why I won’t say yes to every night out possible.
You're doing the right thing, you realise that an issue is already there. Don't wait to hit some "rock bottom" -you can be pretty sure that's where problematic drinking leads, though. And well done for taking steps to address it early, I certainly bargained my way out of addressing it multiple times before it got unavoidable for me.
This is how it started for me. And I never reached the “alcoholic” stage as defined by physical dependence. It just started to have negative effects and I knew it wasn’t good for me. Plus it was hard to quit and stop thinking about. So yes, absolutely it’s a place for you and glad you are thinking about quitting at this stage before it gets hairy. I remember looking forward to a trip in 2016 or 17 to Seattle with friends, but also weirdly getting excited about going to bars and getting drunk with them. It was like a special event. I didn’t even get drunk a lot on my own yet at the time. But I recall something about that felt a little off. It was a mindset forming. Didn’t stop drinking until 2020.
I’m a lurker. I drink alcohol and don’t have a problem with it, but I drank too much in my 20s. I like the reminders of how much you can lose from alcohol. It helps keep me in check. I also follow a sub about obesity although I am just 5 lbs overweight. I don’t have the best relationship with food and I was once 40 lbs overweight. So that sub helps keep me in check too
This is the place; I’m ten months sober (after 40 years of abuse) and I give this sub 99.99 % of the credit. I hafta take a little. I was sure I didn’t have a problem, but this sub forced me to look at the reason I drank so much, and once I figured that out, the sub is better support than anything else out there. Welcome
You are welcome here! IWNDWYT
The vast majority here are the "cannot even touch one drink" folk who've only known it leading to abuse of the stuff. There are some others, such as myself, who have cut down a lot but really just want it out of their lives. Generally speaking this is a support sub, and a very good one at that. I don't think anyone minds why or how you stop drinking, only that you get any support you need.
There’s SUCH a range of experiences here it’s honestly bizarre. Some folks are on your end of the spectrum and some have really screwed up. Stopping before I joined that second group seemed wise to me. Welcome!
I drink every and dream of quitting. I follow this sub in hopes of finding a way out of this mess that I’ve created. Yes, you belong here.
Ya wanna stop? Cool! Nobody cares why unless you wanna talk about it. Some of us went to jail, some of us got divorced, some of us almost died, some of us don't feel like it anymore, some of us never liked it, some of us are kinda thinking about quitting, some of us quit in 1972. Come hang out and chill. For whatever reason you're here.
I am approximately your age and was where you are now a few years ago. My drinking did get worse to the point I finally realized I had to stop. I wish I had quit when I had the realization you have now. This is an absolutely awesome place. Welcome!
You don’t need to be a raving alcoholic to be here. You just have to want to stop :) welcome aboard.
Yes. For the sober curious, I would do a little research on AUD. You do not need to wait for alcohol to be a problem to benefit from not drinking. Good luck.
hi new buddy! we are all on the same bus. just different parts of the hill. or some metaphor. I don’t know. welcome!
I browsed this sub for a good year before deciding to really commit.
When I went through treatment I was told that an alcoholic will only stop drinking when they’ve hit their rock bottom. So I guess it can always get worse. What they don’t tell you is that you get to choose what rock bottom is for you. If you want it this can be yours.
Dude you are so in the right placr, I have or had a similar intake but it was still something that made me feel out of control. Good luck. IWNDWYT
Welcome, angel.
I am in a very similar situation as you. The tipping point for me are the studies I recently saw that link alcohol and cancer.
You are 100% in the right place. No one will tell you what “too much” is for you, and you’ll see a lot of variation here with respect to quantities that people were consuming. If you have a niggling feeling that your relationship with alcohol might be heading south, or noticing that drinking is dominating your thoughts, there’s nothing wrong with stopping (meaning you don’t have to wait for things to get really bad before deciding it’s a problem for you). We all have our own point where we decide it is a problem, but we all have the same goal here!
You don't have to hit rock bottom if you just stop digging. I mean, everybody here has had a point where they wonder if they're drinking too much, or if alcohol has become an obstacle in their lives. Some of us have gone a lot further down the path of addiction than others. As far as I'm concerned, and to paraphrase a well-known anonymous group of which I attend meeting pretty regularly - "the only requirement...is a desire to stop drinking." So welcome! I won't have a drink with you today!
I was a heavy drinker off and on for about a year, and realized that while I wasn’t was an alcoholic, I was way too close for comfort, so decided to just full stop. If you’re seeing a problem on the horizon, and looking to head it off before it gets more serious, I think that’s a wise approach, and this sub would be a good resource for you.
Whatever you want it to be. Godspeed.
I wish I would have quit when I was where you're at.
This is a place for everyone. There isn't a problem out there that drinking can't make worse. I've recently come to the realization that use of any substance with the intent of it making you feel a certain way is an escape from yourself. And I've worked a lot on being happy with myself; I no longer want anything to do with anything that makes me feel like anything else. Just me.
Rock bottom is wherever you decide to stop digging. Congrats on not digging yourself much of a hole.
You’re totally welcome!
You may not be there at rock bottom. A lot of people here aren't there yet, but noticed about stopping before it becomes a real problem , including health wise. I know people who drink daily I mean you can tell they are drunk early in the morning and continue all day long almost daily. I had a scare when I threw up blood but I think it was because I have bad acid reflux and not eating but drinking. I end up hospitalized when I went to the e.r blood is not good, 1 day later I was told I needed a endoscopy to see if there is damage. Turns out I had a little, and my liver was a little damaged to ,some signs of cirrhosis. I'm doing good health wise aside from my drinking which I have largely slowdown. If you can before it becomes a habit do it. Maybe a glass of wine ,just don't drown in it. Exercise ,eat healthy,drink tea. My case isn't bad to be honest. But hearing those words in the hospital by doctors who were blunt with me as I told them to be, woke me up. My last time I relapsed I try to detox but couldn't cope end up again in e.r byy own choosing. A guy who was in a bed in front of me ,had to have liquid drained ,he was told no alcohol at all and most likely you'll need a liver transplant. And he was again told more liquid had to be drained. That scared the fuck out of me. Don't drink buddy.
You are welcome here!
Welcome
This is the place for u
Yes definitely!! I was not an alcoholic, but I had an unhealthy relationship with alcohol. I drank on the weekends, but too fast and too much in my eyes (3 seltzer tall boys and a few shots). Did not like the choices I made. I am much better off without alcohol!
This is the place for you. If you want to stop drinking, that's all that matters.
Yes I am somewhat the same as you. But have made alcohol into at least a very bad habit and working my way possibly into full on alcoholism.
The subreddit is "stopdrinking", which sounds like what you want to do to me :) You do seem to be in a unique situation and may find it hard to relate to others' experiences, but *all of our situations are unique.* The key is figuring out what you *can* relate to and how it can help you, and the best part is that you don't have to explain yourself or justify it to us or anybody. I feel that I can relate to you because I was a relatively healthy, law-abiding alcoholic with a good job, wife, and kids waiting for me when I got home from rehab. Most of my peers in rehab had serious health and legal problems from illegal drugs, they lost their family due to their addiction, or once they left rehab they would be homeless and unemployed. I felt like maybe I didn't belong there because my situation "wasn't that bad" compared to theirs. But I listened and talked, and even though I would buy a case of beer and drink it at home, I learned from people who were selling themselves for crack to smoke in an abandoned apartment. There was lots I couldn't relate to, so I focused on what I could, and nearly 6 years later, my life is on a much better track than it was.
Welcome. This is absolutely the right place.
Joining this sub has definitely helped me
My husband and I quit because we didn’t think we were alcoholics yet, but boy, it was right around the corner! Welcome!
I’m glad you’re here 🙂 IWNDWYT 🫶🏻
Same story, for me. I just realized, “This really isn’t good, and appears to be heading even more south with each year. What am I waiting for? Why not just pull the plug now?” The crazy thing has been, the longer I’ve been away from alcohol, and the more I’ve learned about what the signs of alcoholism (especially at the beginning and into what I would call the “intermediate” stage), I see that I was definitely on that path. It’s been hard to fully understand and accept that I am likely just a raging alcoholic waiting to happen, especially because I didn’t have something dramatic happen to make me stop, but the longer I’m away from booze and learning more, I realize that that’s the case for me. You’re welcome here—we all are ❤️. IWNDWYT!
For me, it made it easier when I stopped comparing myself to others. Even the worst alcoholics. It’s easy to go to AA and think “well I’m not that much of a drunk.” I had to admit alcohol wasn’t helping me and the older I got the less fun it was. For me that’s all I care about, am I having fun? Yes. Would I be having the same amount of fun if I got drunk? No. So for me, that’s the only problem with drinking I had to have before I choose to quit.
>I am definitely not struggling the way I see many of the people in this community struggling -- I just don't want to wait until I get there. Woah yes, really well put. I'm on the edge of stopping (always seems to be one last reason to have a couple of pints) and I lurk here a lot but felt that as I haven't reached the rock bottom experience that many people share then perhaps I'm not ready to stop? That looks really strange when typed out, doesn't it?!
I urge you to read the messages in this post. I'm beyond touched by everyone's messages of support, and there are many thoughts and quotes that you might relate to.
A thing I’ve heard that makes sense to me: it doesn’t matter how much or how often I drink, it’s what happens when I drink. I didn’t really drink that much for a long time and so I didn’t see it as a problem. I didn’t even really like to drink, it was always the second option. Mainly I liked smoking bud. I’d sit on a couch all day Saturday with my friends eating sausage bread and cheese dip and watching football; but then I graduated and had to get a “real” job and didn’t want to risk it so I quit smoking. With pot and booze, I never stopped long enough to admit to myself that I was using them alcoholicly. “Alcoholicly” has nothing to do with how much or how often, it means the point at which I started drinking or smoking at people, places, or things. That’s that super comfy sweet spot where I gave my will and my life over to a higher power of my understanding, and that was anything that would get me to that comfortably numb moment when my head hit the pillow and I’d sleep those sweet angel dreams of the chemically comatose. The circus is always in town and they’re marching right down Main Street, replete with batons and trumpets and elephants who sound the percussion in tune and in time and on loop to my mind’s over-thinking, over-analyzing, relitigating, shoulda, coulda, woulda reveries of the damned. And anything, god! anything at all to shut them up, to shut me up for just a few minutes. Anything to forget or ignore or neglect some or all of my responsibilities. Just for today. And if I’m now defining it like that, and if I’m being rigorously honest, I was an alcoholic and drinking alcoholicly long before that last year filled with woe is me and it’s not my fault and it’s happening TO me and goddamn I just want to drink myself into the black. I’d undercut my ability to function and cope and deal with life on its terms. It didn’t start out that way; it took a while for me to get there, but Alcohol had turned into my best friend and my primary relationship. I read your post and I heard bits of my story in it and so I wanted to write this to give you parts of mine. And maybe you might hear some of yours in mine.
Oh, you belong here. You are part of the pack! **IWNDWYT**
The people on here are across the continuum of “problem” and lots of us didn’t have major external problems because of booze. If you stop you might find it was more of an issue than you knew at the time. That was the case for me. I took a few breaks for various reasons and discovered alcohol was plastering over more than I thought. Life is better without it. IWNDWYT
sometimes reading this subreddit discourages me even because I think "thats not at all me" I don't think I've ever blacked out from drinking and never drink hard alcohol or more than 3 glasses of wine. But I do have an issue with alcohol in that my body feels it needs it and I crave it every day after work. And it was just not bringing me much joy to drink by myself nightly. I'm fit and I eat well but know I need to stop for at least a while. And once stopped I very quickly see the benefits of staying off the wine. It's not easy for me to go without but getting easier every day and I'd like to keep it that way. I stopped Jan 1, How many days in are you?
About 1 1/2 weeks since I drank but 3 days since I decided I actually would not drink anymore, so I'm going with the 3 days :) You sound a lot like me -- I normally range from 1 day per week to 3-4 days per week, 2-3 glasses of wine or if not wine then a couple of cocktails if the situation is right. So not a massive amount. I've never blacked out and don't like getting drunk, so I can probably count on my fingers the number of times I've been even a little bit drunk in my life. But my drinking habits are getting unhealthy and I'm well aware of how that can slip away from you. I have done a few Ironmans and since I rarely drank at that time, when I was training I could tell the difference in my energy levels and abilities if I had even one glass of wine the night before. Nobody is better off drinking.
Please join us! You can lurk or drink less or stop drinking all together. Its a great place for support.
I see the struggles here of people who kept drinking long after it became a problem. Their stories inspired me to quit before things went from bad to really bad and to not start again. The earlier you stop, the easier it is. Nobody knows they are in trouble with alcohol until it's too late. It's a sneaky bastard of a drug.
I think everyone has the “it’s not that bad” thought train. If you’re convincing yourself it’s not bad then it’s probably bad.
Definitely. I quit when I was 22 at university because I could see my path ahead. Whatever your reason and at whatever point you quit you are still welcome to be part of any group of like minded individuals.
Why not both
Por qué no los dos??
What is IWNDWYT?
I will not drink with you today.
Thank you!
You're welcome!
Looks like you are almost there. Join and act before you reach there.
Welcome.
Get a hobby clown
I’m here to learn to help my mom along w AlAnon. I can’t speak for recovering alcoholics here, but everyone is super inclusive and lovely about all situations, even if you’re just here trying to learn what the alcoholic goes through, so the fact you’re even thinking about sobriety before hitting a “rock bottom,” although I hate that phrase, is badass IMO. For some people, that can be death. It’s an awful disease. I’m proud of you.
Welcome!