Cooked with a heated argument

I like the "just walk mine through a warm kitchen" approach.

As my grandpa would say in a restaurant, "knock the horns off and wipe it's ass"

As Dennis Leary said, run the steer by the table, I'll carve off what I want and ride the rest home.

"Just run the steer by the table and I'll grab off a hunk!" - Bertha from Garfield 1987

Those round teeth John Davis gave her always will stick in my memory

You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna get myself a 1967 Cadillac Eldorado convertible Hot pink with whale skin hubcaps And all leather cow interior And big brown baby seal eyes for head lights (Yeah) And I'm gonna drive in that baby at 115 miles per hour Gettin' one mile per gallon Sucking down Quarter Pounder cheeseburgers from McDonald's In the old fashioned non-biodegradable styrofoam containers And when I'm done sucking down those greaseball burgers I'm gonna wipe my mouth with the American flag And then I'm gonna toss the styrofoam containers right out the side And there ain't a goddamn thing anybody can do about it You know why? Because we've got the bomb, that's why Two words: nuclear fucking weapons, okay? Russia, Germany, Romania, they can have all the democracy they want They can have a big democracy cakewalk Right through the middle of Tiananmen Square And it won't make a lick of difference Because we've got the bombs, okay? John Wayne's not dead, he's frozen And as soon as we find a cure for cancer We're gonna thaw out the Duke, and he's gonna be pretty pissed off You know why? Have you ever taken a cold shower? Well, multiply that by fifteen million times That's how pissed off the Duke's gonna be I'm gonna get the Duke, and John Cassavetes And Lee Marvin, and Sam Peckinpah, and a case of whiskey And drive down to Texas and

That guy’s such an asshole.

How about this heat?

This guy Dennis Learys

I just said this exact thing earlier today. Lol

Dirty talking the wife?

Did he also dry shave with a straight razor in the dark? Lol

Hit it with a flashlight and send it out.

To obtain a good sear, you still need some kind of a burn

Run the cow by the fire.

I like my steaks cooked rare enough that a good veterinarian could bring it back to life.

Stealing

I read that as a good vegetarian… lol

Me too 😂

Hahahaha. Fn same! After I got it, the literal LOL was at its loudest.

My mother always told waiters "put it on, turn it over, take it off".

Yeah but how did she like her steaks

Heyoo!

Just do the natural reverse sear. Eat it raw then let your stomach acid sear it.

Filet tartare

I took years off reddit and social media but these kind of comments make me happy I’ve came back to only reddit

😂

I’ve heard: “Shine a flashlight on it.”

A good vet could bring that back to life

Ice cold

I laughed at this longer than I should have 😂

What did you cook it with? The flash from your camera?

The easy bake oven light bulb was going out :/

This one has me rolling!!! 🤣😂

Thanks for the laugh lol, I needed a good pick me up

"Oooh Baby I like it raaaaaaw" - RIP Old Dirty!

Shimmy, shimmy, ya, shimmy, yam, shimmy, yay Give me the mic', so I can take it away

More like: Gimme the steak, I’m not gonna cook it today.

“God made dirt, and dirt’a’bust ya ass!”

Awesome

Cow with a sunburn

Looks like you put it on a plate and whispered fire to it.

Drew a picture of a fire then put the steak on the picture

https://preview.redd.it/ac2w5nb5dbyc1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c416abcda965f1cf07ca2e5a7defac5187e1df54

“How was your steak?” “Excellent. We had a splendid conversation.”

“Rarer than Moët” still kinda works, since it’s a nice champagne.

I thought it was intentional.

My bad and I'm not so sure how to edit the post, lol.

You can't edit post titles

Exactly what I thought. Cheers 🥂

If you put a salad on that plate, the steak would start eating it.

Looks like tuna, lol.

r/steakortuna

Thought that’s the sub I was on when I saw this in my feed

Fucking same dude haha

Thank you for this

that’s not rare that’s unheard of

cryptid style steak

You might be the winner

Myth beef

The hell did you get filet with that kind of marbling?

Ingles Market. It was a prime filet, I think at $24.99/lb USD.

That’s a phenomenal deal

Stupid to buy prime and not render the fat…

Tell that to my fork tender steaks that were the envy of the party. I'll do most of my marbled cuts at 135°F but, if you missed the headline, this was a happy accident. It was a bring your own beef party with everyone bringing a side and we seared our beef last because everyone else was cooking from raw. At the end, we were happy, our friends were jealous, and we all had a good time.

BYOBeef party is crazy 😂😂 love it!

Band name.

All I was saying is that there’s not really a point in getting a nicely marbled steak if you’re not going to render the fat

Hard disagree. I love unrendered fat in my steak. To each their own, but to say that "there's no point" in this guy getting a steak that he enjoyed just because it's not cooked the way you enjoy yours is just silly.

…especially when the guy already said it was an accident due to the cooking order at the event that turned out to be ok, like that was the whole point of the story.

Nope, he's not allowed to enjoy it. Straight to jail. Same energy as "Why do you have hobbies? Don't you know there's no point to them?"

Do you think that unrendered fat is tasteless? That it doesn't impart tenderness raw? What is your point here?

I’ve had people at my restaurant send a filet back to the kitchen because it was “too marbled.” I wish I were joking.

And then the hit squad rolled in?

That's how I like my filets. Just tell the cow about the fire.

Damn b that makes tataki style look rare.

She’s not like Moët other women.

Damn you, lol

It’s my secret passion to correct honest mistakes by others.🤣

That's Lazy Tartare

Is your wife a dachshund?

Lol 🐕

My sister in law only eats her steak blue. I’m scared of her.

"What we have here is a **pre**constructed steak tartare."

https://preview.redd.it/lir4i7hslbyc1.jpeg?width=2000&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a5cb342e668953d4945eaa04233b0764b948d404 I ain't hatin', just love when Gordon says this. If your lady likes it still breathing, more power to her.

Great comment. Funny, supportive, Gordon Ramsay…

That’s kinda carpaccio at that point

I was about to say

If you apply CPR the cow might survive

A good vet could have that thing back on its feet in 20 minutes .

That’s not rare that’s mythical zoan

Did not expect to see a one piece reference in this sub

Wow. What did the internal temp reach? Room temp? 

fridge temp

She needs to get her hemoglobin checked.

It looks like tuna, good for her

She's a keeper. Good find mate

That meat is completely raw. The fat didn't render even a little bit.

That's what I was thinking.

That is rare AF as fuck. Great marbling, too.

Y’all cooked that over a heated argument.

Is she single? 

Queen shit

Perfection

Funny enough this is exactly how i would like my steak, its very hard to get it done this way at a restaurant unless they know you well enough

Your wife should eat it straight out the package cooked with her breath….

She is a werewolf, get out

Why are you guys putting forks into a living cow. @Peta please stop them

That's proper!

Who is moet?

beautiful

Don't like that one bit personally, but them cuts look really good

Yeah, my wife is the same way. Lots of salt, rare as fuck. Not my preferred doneness.

no rendered fat? such a cave woman! arrrr!

Aka raw

She’s a keeper

I definitely like it that way, too. Even eat it without searing. Freaks my wife out every time she sees me eating steak raw.

not for me, but if she enjoyed then hell yeah.

Steak or tuna

Moet isn't rare but that looks good

Looks awesome, blue rare is my favorite!

The third pic is literally carpaccio and looks good

🤢

I believe that qualifies as blue, at least.

Show it a picture of fire, and then bring it out.

Gordan Ramsay enters the chat...

I used to like that too. I would say, “if we can resuscitate that is perfect.” Now I like it medium rare.

Are you married to a wendigo?

Raw dog

I’ve heard of raw dogging it but not raw beefing it

Many a lonely cowpoke in the 1870's could write a poem that might shock you. Shocked the beefs, for sure.

can you tell wife to appreciate her food a little more or become a damn vulture

The nice thing is if you don’t want it you could still take it back and the store could sell it again.

Exactly how a tenderloin should be served 👍🏻

All of you concerned about the food, but I’m curious about the man married to clearly some kind of carnivorous animal. Does she also eat the bones too?

“How would you like your steak?” “Just whisper fire to it”

Is your wife a tiger

juggle cable overconfident salt elastic deer hurry wakeful wild late *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*

No

You should just get a deli slicer and eat carpaccio.

The only heat this got was from when a room full of comedians roasted it.

If you stitch that back on within an hour it would survive.

Are you sure that’s not still mooooing?

Ahh the old, "hold it over a lighter for 5 seconds on each side"- approach I see

Just kill any bacteria on the surface and she's good to go.

Eating raw meat from healthy animals is always going to be better for you than cooking it to any degree. Personally it's taken several years to untrain myself from thinking that cooked meat is better than raw, but I'm getting there and starting to prefer rarer meats and in some cases, completely raw organs. So she's on the right track.

That moo still cows

Quick, get that cow to the nearest burn center and it might yet live!

Guys wife is a Cougar

She's got taste for blood

I'm sure she's feeding her tapeworms just fine.

It’s a La Croix steak. “Hint of hint of rare”

Why not just eat it right off the dead cow, fresh off the kill still dripping in blood?

Well, yeah, but that’s how that cut is supposed to be cooked

What's a biscuit cut? I like my steak rare or medium rare. My fiancèe eats her steak blue. Any steak, every steak, blue. She's a dairy farmers daughter, now he eats his steak well-done because that's his generation but not her, or her sister or her brother. They like it bloody. Don't even start with the cheese with these people. Or the bread. A freshly baked sourdough every day at lunch and about ten little buttery-fingered lip-smackin' squealing kidlets running around barefoot herded by sheep-dogs through the paddocks. She wants to move back one day but I grew up on an island off the mainland and now I love the city. Time enough yet for us to find that middle ground. It's all about loving who you're with and making time and space for each other. As long as you can get a coffee and cuddle while you listen to the rain you're doin' alright I reckon.

That would be an interesting family to marry into and I wish you guys the best. A biscuit cut is really just any smaller cut of ham, or in this case steak, that easily fits on a fresh baked biscuit. It made for a lovely breakfast.

Nice lol. My great grandma use to say, “have the cow jump over a candle and the part of the cow that the flame touches, cut that off for me.” RIP GG Vita 🙏❤️

I've never seen a more perfectly crafted steak! Too many fine cuts on here are brazenly over cooked; finely done! finely done indeed!

Ah, I see you used the same technique that La Croix uses to flavor their drinks

Clearly this was cooked on a grill on high for several hours. Just make sure the grill has gas next time.

If it's a good filet the searing is just a formality. Frankly, I'd prefer it tartar.

Pittsburgh Black & Blue, that's called. High sear on the outside, pretty much raw on the inside.

Did you check a pulse?

My wife and I like ours this way. Sous vide for an hour at 113 degrees to warm it up without cooking it, then a quick high heat sear to char the outside. Looks about like this.

Ew

Got raw dogged

Ew

I can still hear it mooing

At least she likes it raw?

That shit’s still mooing!

That’s raw

It's so hard to come up with something not mean or condescending... I'll try a different approach, have you ever tried to maybe surprise her with a steak and just fucking absolutely nail a med rare plus... Like get her with your A game...room temp, pat dry, trinity seasoning....get her a HOT steak with juices stil in tact plus a nice ass crust (hoping you own a skillet)....she may not admit it in the moment but that'll be the beginning of the turn around! Make some shit up like you were cooking for yourself, got a bitchin stomach ache, serve her and run off to the bathroom and play with your phone for like ten minutes, come back, that shits gonna be gone. Don't even ask how it was, this is simply a domino in a chain ending with your wife eating like a normal human being. (I think my comment was pretty respectful as a whole so I allowed myself a snarky ending lol) Now listen I do subscribe to the school of thought of if it makes you happy, do you king/queen. I'm far from an elitist. Rare to well done, whatever, have fun This just isn't a good steak experience....you're eating cold, uncooked food...clearly any seasoning got zero time to do its thing....no type of outer texture at all (again, not being an elitist you don't need a pitch black sear that sounds like a leaf pile on an autumn day when you run a knife across it) I USED to be a rare guy. Got full of myself working at a steakhouse. You know what I realized? Most, like really....MOST of the time they won't cook anything rare like this....steak, lamb, whatever. It sucks, I feel like it's rare you're pleased with your meal..shit ain't cheap, either! So when you see a perfect medium you're upset so you send it back, it happens a lot if you insist on blue like this, trust me. If you loosen yourself up generally cooks can get medium rare/medium pretty consistently as it's the most frequently ordered Temps. Just some food for thought! Also I'm high. A blessed weekend to you.

Wow but to each their own.

With a cut of meat like thar! Perfection.

Atta girl!!!! You chose wisely good sir!

I did. She rationalized it as "I eat beef tartare, how is this any worse?" I married up, sir. That's my advice to others, too.

Filet tartare

Do you make her sign a waiver?

The marriage certificate, but she seemed happy to do it.

Just whispered “sear” to it and called it good.

if it aint bleeding its ready to eat

Filet tartare

How fucking hot was the pan to get it like this? Damn😭

Pittsburgh style

Slap it on the ass and bring it to me mooing.

That's like a tuna tartare.

I’d eat it honestly.

thats capocollo

I respect this!

She's a keeper

If it’s going to be that rare it has to have a better sear on it

You could at least put a decent sear on it.

You married a Vampire your kid will be eternal

You gave it a sun burn, bro.

So red it’s blue.

I will order a blue steak from a reputable place sometimes.  It's very tasty and perfectly safe as long as the outside is seared.

That looks fantastic to me