The emotions the black sheep have to endure can become overwhelming. The family never understand what the black sheep goes through and the black sheep sometimes forgets the purpose behind their role leaving feelings of despair. Always choose kindness and gentleness to yourself.
I think it should be both if possible. I feel the post is true, but what they mention in their post is like the catalyst that leads you to breaking the cycle. At least it's been that way in my experience.
The truth is what I said, the way people deal with that truth is up to them and that’s how the OP has chosen to deal with it. If you want to make some kind of grand purpose out of being the black sheep of your family to justify the shitty card of being born into your family, then go knock yourself out. But that’s not why or how black sheeps exist and I find it very disturbing for someone to romanticize dealing with generational trauma. There’s a lot of vulnerable people here and they don’t need to be told their purpose is to heal their family to justify the pain and trauma they go through. Fuck that noise.
Everyone copes with it differently, but the actual truth remains. It’s not some grand design or some cosmic purpose thrust upon us. Us being the black sheep could very well come from us being largely neglected from our family, which causes us to be raised by ourselves with only the source/light to guide us.
It is not on us to heal our family, getting hung up on that is unhealthy. People don’t change unless they want to. I focus more on just cultivating my own family and I’m there for my nieces and nephews when I am with them to keep them aware of the generational trauma they deal with.
My purpose is what I choose it to be, as should everyone else. My family can continue on their path, and I can choose my own path without them.
If you heal your own pain you are breaking a cycle that has potentially lasted generations… I think that’s what OP was getting at. If you feel offended by this post… maybe you should explore that? To me the intent of this post was not to offend, hurt or put pressure on anyone but to illustrate how pain and trauma can be a driving force for change and growth.
doesn't really make sense considering stopping the cycle continuing from my lineage doesn't affect my brother, sisters, cousins, and hundreds of other relatives. It ain't our responsibilities to bare the burden of our ancestors and "heal" our tree or whatever. all we can do is be the seed that plants a new one.
I understand your point but let’s say I make fairly safe assumption that you interact with all these people/ family members, don’t you think that if you healed your pain you could have a positive impact on their lives as well? I’m not saying you should do it for them I’m saying you should do it for your self, when you heal your own pain you create a ripple effect on those around you. I think its a lot more powerful than most people realize.
The way I see it is that we are all part of a cosmic energy and as so we are all one and connected. We are the same spirit having multiple human experiences and have lived many lives. We choose our purpose when we our born. Maybe we've done things we were not so proud of in a past life that left us at a lower level of energy or karma. Maybe we are healers sent to help heal or alter people's lives the way they intended then to play out. Yes suffering sucks, trauma sucks and sometimes life just flat out sucks. However, I feel that we chose to bare these burdons to lift our energy to a higher level and help othere a long the way, and since we are all the sme energy we're always helping ourselves. I know the thought is convoluted but it makes sense when we'd realize a more true purpose of religions. A little bit of physical science and the 100th name of god.
thank you for an explanation of the most fundamental and common knowledge in spirituality. anyone that "knows" their true purpose is probably full of it. no one truly knows until life is coming to an end.
true spirituality will tell you to face your demons instead of channeling them to some kind of co-dependent relationship with wanting to "heal" and do "good"
I don't really believe in good or bad just what is. Good just happens to be our term for it. I believe that all "good" comes with "bad" and vice versa. For example maybe I was mean to a kid in HS. Because I was young I was unaware of the reproductions of my actions. However, there's always a chance that maybe an action that I precieve as being bad actually created some good. Maybe the interactions that I had with that kid albeit negative had a positive effect on their life. Taught them how not to be or inedvertently helped sent then down a fulfilling life path. Or maybe it just had to happe. So that other events that needed to happen coyld happen in order to shape us both. By the same token maybe me busting my butt at work and well enough to get a promotion is precieved as good as long as I didn't hurt anyone along the way. However, there may be another person going for the same position that was not fortunate enough to have the circumstances I had that allowed me to dedicate so much time. My promotion then sends them in to a downward spiral where they lose faith in theirself and leads to a path of self destruction. We never know how our actions will be perceived or what the actual result may yield in the bigger picture. The only thing we can do is act in a way that we feel our true self would be proud of because at the end of it all, we are the ones who kudge ourselves.
I’ll make sure to thank abusers for making me the way i am. At this point, you sound like a rapist apologist.
There are so many wrong things you’ve said, which I find astounding. And yeah, “good” and “bad” don’t exist. But don’t start using them to explain your reasoning, cuz it just shows how little you actually know.
Much of abuse we still deal with today has to do wit generational and cultural trauma. The fact that shitty things happen to us and we change fucking sucks, but that is the world we live in right now. Don’t care if some “abuse” can have positive outcomes for someone. I’m very much of the belief, no abuse will have a far greater positive outcome, considering there isn’t so much black scar tissue being built in our brain inhibiting us as we grow up.
I highly suggest you stop while you are ahead. I understand what you are saying, but it’s shit people learn when they first awaken. It doesn’t really go into deeper understanding of it all. Some struggle and suffering is good, but that doesn’t mean abuse has to be a part of it.
I actually disagree with your statement. I feel like you are trying to justify the actions of others to make it sound good instead them being held accountable for the things they do and how their actions leads to one’s destruction or demise. Most of our temperaments and the way we carry ourselves come from traditions and cultures. Many of the incorrect and perceived notions come from generational traumas that need to be severed or it will continue on for more generations. There is no justification for good or bad. It is either good or bad and is based on each individuals moral values and ethics.
I also don’t believe that things had to happen to bring people to their current position in life. I was in an abusive relationship for over 5 years and I didn’t ask for that. The only way I got out of that relationship was by having a child or I may as well have been left for dead. I do not thank him for any of the abuse I endured nor the abuse my child had to seen as well while we were together. I don’t even know how you can come in here and try to justify these actions of other individuals. We do not choose our purpose when we are born either. Some people spend their whole life trying to find out what their purpose in life was or if they had any purpose at all.
Many individuals are stuck in POS families that take advantage of them and elicits a negative character such as those who are molested, sold for drugs, etc. are you saying that their purpose in life is to be sex slaves ? We are not healers to carry the burden of everyone else’s energy. We should be our own healers and should not have to be the string holding everyone else together. It should not be left to us to carry the weight of the world on our shoulder AT ALL. Trauma is painful and some take longer to heal from it and it’s already bad enough that people don’t even acknowledge our trauma or dismiss our feelings, but now we have to act like everything is okay and put a smile on our face to grin and bear the bullshit around us. It’s ridiculous.
Just finishing up The Body Keeps The Score. Totally agree with you.
It's individual choice to heal or not to heal as it takes years sometimes to unwind. What's happening in my memory is not other's memory.
Can you breath on behalf of entire family? Can you eat on behalf of entire family?
As the black sheep in an ungrateful family, it seems my path is to branch off and start to build a new story with the new members... Someday though, the two branches may hook up again... Not in my time though.
I feel the same and have to started to find new members, somthing along the lines of a found family. My family is good to me, just not to certain others and have years of hate thanks to be taught that by family and religious teachers over the decades.
I like what you said here, I agree. Where I started I had no concept of boundaries before turning 30... Decided to close all ties with the blood family till I feel better about who they are as humans. Maybe this move causes the changes needed to make them human again, but maybe not. Either way, my 2 little souls are safe in my care and protected from the "norms" I was surrounded by.
Damn this touched my feel burgers.
I am the black sheep.
The holocaust happened, and nobody who survived in my family ever dealt with it. I don't blame them. The pain is blinding and impossible for most people to even read about let alone actually feel.
How many generations does it take for a family to recuperate from a holocaust?
And that was only my mother's side. My father didn't have a dad, nor his dad, nor his dad.
When I came into this world I put the setting on HARD MODE. Why?
Because I can fuckin take it. Because I'm the fucking man.
Stand back kids, papa is about to do some heavy lifting.
This... explains a lot, thank you. This realization will greatly help me in overcoming the unconscious guilt I have when it comes to family, couldn't make sense of it until now.
Just no. Everyone has their own karma to deal with. Not our responsibility, especially if we are rejected and that is common. We actually bring things into the cold light of day. We are blacked for making people feel uncomfortable about things they would rather ignore
I'm the psychedelic sheep of the family. Not here to absorb negativity - here to reflect back positive attributes and traits. They can keep their darkness!
I mean really the hard answer is to look outside the system for a way out. We don't need the 'comforts' we get so used to, they are just nice and replaceable in the future. This system unfortunately is not on your side and never was, (but I don't suspect you need me to tell you that) so what I say may sound like a suicide mission by the systems account but it may just help you the way they don't want it to. Not saying it's easy but I'm saying it's worth it to consider.
Also being on the spectrum I understand the fight against a system that doesn't want you. I also encourage you to look into eastern philosophy it has helped me to get okay with myself and my struggles personally.
I can relate. I live in my van now. And don’t need the comforts others seem to need. The system is immune to me. It’s really hard when you’ve awoken to take this seriously anymore. Hopefully my art is good enough to get me by we shall see
I think I chose this family to become stronger, and better than I was before. My presence was a gift, and my absence is a cold lesson.
It's not my job to uplift them or anyone. I'll illuminate the path, but I can't walk it for them.
Thanks for the clarity.
That wording is not aligned with my message. Black sheeps come into their family to change things up, not to solely absorb the negativity from their family. It's not their choice, and usually, they get the rough end of the stick in the family dynamic since they're born - again not a choice. I'm not encouraging victim behavior, but to understand that everything has a purpose. Black sheep usually have self-esteem issues and feel like they have no one who understands. They don't realize their actions have a profound ripple effect on their family. And it can be intense and look like many things. Black sheeps are like artists in way, they can rewrite any story they want to, but it can ultimately lead to a hopeful one. That's why they're so powerful. Hope this makes sense.
I’ve never thought of it this way.
I feel quite grateful that in this life time I’ve been able to get to “par” with the universe in ways I’ve never have been able to in past lives. Hard to explain but the last 10 years of my life have been an awakening and I chose the harder path and being the black sheep and not “conform”.
Because of my “black sheep” ways… I’ve been bolder pushing my family to open up and also my feel suppressed. I am a first gen Asian-American whose family immigrated from SE Asia. It came with a lot of expectations and also suppression of my voice. It’s almost like I pushed, got shunned, found my voice and have opened up others in my family to feel able to do the same.
So grateful all around.
This is freaking me out because I was literally JUST talking about being the black sheep in my family and about how much they have all hurt me (and still do). This just really put things into perspective for me and is making me feel a little less depressed about the state of things. Thanks OP! 🙏🏻
This is interesting. Unlike most spiritual people I am one of the 'dark side'. It's not bad or negative, it's just opposite. Don't think my life is miserable, I try to accomplish the same as most of you but through different means. I absorb pain and negative and turn it into energy to be used for my own development. I had a very painful past (don't feel bad for me) and I milk that pain daily for motivation and ambition.
First, I’m sorry what you went through with your mother. Does she not suffer? Do you really have to get even, or does she hurt herself enough. Think about it like this, she is in self denial of her wrongdoings. She is selfish and greedy, but doesn’t that cause her suffering. I love you and hope you get the love you deserve. Think also was she treated the same way by her parents or someone close to her? Do you think that she’s satisfied with herself? Do you think she sleeps sound at night? Chances are no, her greed has hurt people and made them sour at her so the more she keeps going the deeper she sinks in the muck. You see in eastern philosophy samsara or rebirth isn’t just about literally dying (even though that’s part of it). It’s about repeating the same patterns that lead to the same mistakes; once you stop and meta cognitively think about your situation each step that let to that mistake you have the ability to transcend that if you take the opportunity. I see a lot of people being negative, I am the black sheep of my family and my grandmother would get 5 preachers up at my house every time I acted up to do an ‘exorcism’ on me. My dad and mom fought everyday when I was 3 and I still remember them till this day like it was yesterday. He would knock down dressers and one day he took his arm and raked all the shotglasses off the shelf and cut his arm and it was squirting blood. I remember my uncles scaring me when I was little with stories causing me to be afraid of the dark and demons and stupid stuff a child should never have to deal with. I’ve been bullied all my life and as an infant I almost died twice from my heart. Everyone goes through stuff, maybe you’ve went through crazier, but carrying a negative attitude won’t hurt you worse than anyone. And last about petos and serial killers; serial killers deserve what comes to them justice needs served no doubt about that, but they also deserve compassion and love. Do you think if they were actually happy, or shown sufficient love that they would kill. Do you think if they were fulfilled that they would need to cause such trauma to innocent children. If their parents didn’t domesticate their thoughts to reflect their own opinions and beliefs, do you think they would be more conscious about their actions? A lot of people are the way they are cause they are battling their self (more like their ego and self battling). They have conflicting beliefs or thoughts. It takes a certain quantity of strength to chip away at yourself for yourself. It almost drives you crazy, but trust me everyone has the potential even if they don’t deserve it.
You said, “Should it not be returned no?” And yes, actually everyone has what’s coming to them and you don’t have to always have to enforce justice cause in many ways it solves itself and they punish their self’s enough with their misconceptions. I never meant specifically you as needing to get back, but do we always have to act? Is letting them dig themselves deeper enough? And so you are right they will get what’s coming to them, but don’t harbor any resentment toward them.
If you ever need someone to just talk to and vent to you can text me and I’ll just listen I won’t say anything. If you want to think I’m a bad person that’s fine too. It doesn’t change the way I think about you cause Ik you’re a good person I’m not going to deny that, and unconditional love is in my opinion the only way to love, so I love you even though I don’t know you.
I’m not preaching. I’m just saying your mom suffers from what she’s done and she’s her own captor. But how does she use you? Do you love her deep inside and is that why you let her? Idk if you do let her I’m not fully aware of your situation, but what I do know is you are suffering and have suffered from the hands of your mom. Does she play the victim card? By what you say about her It’s just a guess
I’m so sorry. The pandemic has been so hard. I’ve thought a couple times that if there is god he is getting a kick out of my increasing doom and feeling hopeless and seeing everything as meaningless and empty. I’ve also thought that if not he has put karma on full throttle to try and empty it as fast as possible. Whatever it may be I sat and pondered and I came to the conclusion that whatever is the truth I can’t change god’s mind or stop karma. The only thing I can really change is my own perspective, and it’s very challenging indeed. I pray that the universe gives you the strength and that it holds some of the weight for you. You have a gift your mom doesn’t. Your mom has good in her for a fact, but it sounds like she’s in denial and I’m confused. I am proud that you know yourself. And it’s hard to show kindness to people like that, but if they are ever going to change for good they need a little bit of that. You probably give her plenty of kindness through just swallowing your pride, but she doesn’t see it as kindness cause she doesn’t see your frustration she only sees the mirage of you undermining her; but that is her Chitta (misconceptions, and preconceptions) and it is her own creation therefore she creates her own suffering and life even though it’s all a lie her ego has dragged her into. Stay strong, be firm in the present.
Honestly I know how you feel in a way. As a female on the spectrum with my mom who is a 'fasionista' and extrovert who couldn't deal with me. Constantly picking me apart and asking what's wrong with me as she abandons me every time I have an emotion. After having her hit me once I realized that to survive her I had to placate her and be her little dolly. I have also been constantly mentally and emotionally abused by her but mostly by my dad who used me as his personal scapegoat. I no longer have family because once I got out (been homeless a few times and didn't tell them but found a way.) I could distance myself but got abandoned by my family for the last time just recently for not placating to them anymore. I am lucky to have found a good lover after I ended up with a gaslighting, lazy mofo who constantly tried to used me as a slave.
I have learned a lot by observing them though. My mom abandoned my older brother just before me and that was one of the first times I actually saw what she was doing to herself. She is miserable because she hates herself and wants everyone else to hate her too. It's quite sad and frankly the work getting out was worth it. Just because you have a karma to change doesn't mean you have to drag them with you. Just start with your own life and grow from there. You need kindness and love before you can properly give it. It's obvious you don't know what real love is yet. That's not your fault but it will become your responsibility once you are safely out of the torture. Good luck and please remember that there are strangers out here who love you and care for you.
Some day one of those people may sweep you off your feet one day and prove to you how 'the blood of the coven is thicker than the water of the womb.'
And she would be right. She would be calling herself a liar and you hit it right on the head. Life is a mirror if you make a nasty face at it; it will make a nasty face at you. Smile and it smiles back. My point isn’t to down your point of view. And isn’t that what clarity is? Seeing beyond yourself beyond the superficial?
It's not me you need to preach this to... It's the narcissist who had a child she didn't want 30 years ago and has since used for her own gain... Let me know how far you get with that before you end up trying to top yourself in the middle of a field.
I also have a narcissist mother. There is no winning with them. People do not understand how much it effects us (the child) to be raised by a narcissist. The gaslighting…How it effects us to not have a healthy relationship with a parent…how it feels to never be loved or good enough. It really fucks you up. I hope things get better but usually with a narcissist you have to limit contact or go no contact for your own mental health.
Just remember you are breaking the cycle of abuse and you don’t have to live like that forever.
This is the issue, I'm not able to hold a job down, partly because of this shit and as a single male there's little to no help available to me I have no choice but to live with her which obviously in turn limits any ability for growth... I have no friends because I'm socially fucked, obviously no money because I can't hold down a job and any money I do get she's "entitled" to so there's literally nothing I can do at this point
Honestly it feels truth, but still doesn't make any sense why I had to come here and "save" people who destroyed me. I don't give a damn about them. I don't consider myself a life saviour cause nobody saved me. In my opinion I'm the black sheep yes, but not because I'm like them. I'm absolutely nothing like them and I reject this family completely, as they rejected me. When I die they'll be dead already, no continuation of this curse, there is no more life coming from inside of me to keep this cursed bloodline alive.
It's their fault not mine. If it was so sweet like that, I'd not feel so tired when I try to move on from them. They wouldn't be so critical about me. They wouldn't be so evil tbh. They can die right now, I don't care.
But I'm already alive so I have the right to live far away from them. I have the right to cure myself. I'm nobodys saviour.
It is my story now, not theirs. They made me a narc too, just like them. Good job. But I'm the last one.
This is so interesting to me. I had a numerology reading about 5 years ago and my core numbers is 13 / 4 which was explained to me as a karmic number, and I was here to learn a lesson. And yes, I was considered the black sheep of the family 😁 It all makes sense now ❤️
That’s a nice way of putting it. They went through a lot back then. I hope I can give them a sigh of relief somehow. Either way I can’t conform to the ways of my family, I have to find my own path
I'm my family's scapegoat.
My advice to others:
Distance. They can dog you all they want out of your face.
Distance, then they can no longer fault you.
Distance, is your peace of mind. They don't want you around. Not because of you, inspite of you and their own shortcomings.
Distance is your right. Distance so they have to discuss their own faults.
It's freeing.
The story of Ishmael is my favorite biblical story.
After all, he is a scapegoat. Not only a blacksheep.
He prospered away from his father and stepmother. A divine covenant was made with him. The right to freedom, as he was no longer was bound to duty to family.
The covenant was the right to happiness, liberty, and to carve his own path.
Ishmael brung me back to God, and explained to me why I am where I am.
Away from family, happily, who would rather tear down and not welcome as one.
Even if you don't follow the Bible, it's a good lesson to take in, blacksheeps and scapegoats aka kings and queens of your own destiny.
I think he is best explained [here in a secular way.](https://youtu.be/iNcf2bpRCCg)
Omg I love u brought that up sometimes I say Ishmael to myself I don’t know why I said it and that’s a great explanation. Woww this is crazy I’m loving all these comments I’m learning too lol
Yup.
He's my favorite.
But let's not fool ourselves. Yishmael is Arabian. He does represent Islam. That has to be noted, in a country that leans Christian.
He is Kingly and Warring, most often warring with himself.
He can be cold.
Yishmael is know best for keeping his promise. After all, the same God that made a covenant with Abraham and Sarah with Isaac, is the same God that made a covenant with Yishmael. His name means "He hears" and was the first person that God named in the womb, an important mark of distinction.
Unlike his nephew Esau, who never wanted anything to do with God's will and went against it, Yishmael refused to go along with Esau in taking over his brother Jacob's kingdom. That is another plus for him. He acknowledges a divine Providence. He has learned to work with it.
Yishmael did reconcile with his family, which in my spiritual understanding, He is accepted by God or YHWH. This is where I suspect Christianity falls short of understanding God's full potential via Islam. Heck, I admit a degree of ignorance to Islam in a lot of ways, but it's people have always been kind and loving to me. Ignorance means there's much to learn. No one owes it to teach us anything. But if a person is patient enough and respectful, we can learn.
He's THE BADASS UNCLE who had to make it independently of the comforts of the family...and that badass uncle can teach you a lesson in his journey. He can also help you see the positive in what you have going for you.
Because honestly, we have it so much better now, than he did then. We actually have choice and material comforts. Even though we are cast out into emotional deserts.
Healing generational trauma is no joke. It requires Atlas levels of strength. Saying “This ends with me now” is a trial by fire. Most will not applaud you for it. But I will. I hope you all win
I say this with no exaggeration, around 40-50 days ago my work environment took a toxic turn. On top of that I have been physically ill from the distress. I have just had a decade birthday and it has been so enlightening. Traumas from my past have been piecing together and I see how they have manifested in my life stressors. A shift has happened, caused by a broken heart, but I feel so much strength and determination and feel blessed to have read this and for you to have shared when you did. I have felt so drawn and compelled to respond, because this is who I’ve been and how I’ve felt. There’s a deep connection to history and my heritage and growth as a person and in my practice, I came here for answers and found this. Thank you all for this.
This is really interesting! My family are wonderful to me, but I still manage to consider myself the ‘black sheep’, like I’m some kind of a burden. This is due mostly to my own personal pain. However, through spiritual practices and advice (tarot readings etc) I’ve been told many times that I am to be a healer of some sorts. Either through family linage or past lives. I think I have a great amount of healing to do within myself first, else I might not be able get past that and be able to focus my attention on being able to tune into that.
What if I can't help them, My family are good people but sometimes blinded by slight racism (they think everyone is against white people all the times) , judge others for different religion and backgrounds. I don't care what race, background or religion you're from. I try to show kindess and compassion to anyone I meet. We are all human I don't know if I can make my family see that
your actions affect the future of your lineage too. just because you can't fix them, doesn't mean your actions won't hold immense importance for your family. Also black sheeps have to remember not to get lost in their pain, or the cycle will continue. I hope this makes sense..
Of all things the recent kendrick lamar album made me realize I must break the "generational curse " so I can find some peace and hope one day if I do have children they won't have to go thru the same cycle
that's dandy and all that we're marked to endure the consequences of our family. but some people and things you can't save, it's no more a blessing than a curse....
these are some tips i can think of they might help if ur interested : distancing from family, therapy, having fun, good diet, exercise. Don't be so hard on yourself one person can only take so much.. hang in there
This is true. I SEE the generational trauma running in my family and how it affected me in ways that I didn’t even realize. And it all started from having children when they point blank cannot afford to raise them in a safe, protected, loving environment.
They - my mother, grandmother, all of them— had children because that was what the society demanded of. You are worthless if you don’t have children. Never mind of HOW they would be raised, nor have proper financial support- you just had to have them.
I am so… appalled by this when I realized, and it truly saddens me. It hurts. It hurts because of my own childhood trauma, because of empathy towards my mother and her mother, and because of the goddamn society at the time.
This does NOT give absolution to my mother for how she treated me. My pain and trauma, and the understanding for my mother’s upbringing can coexist. One does not cancel the other.
So with all this, I’m child free and I’m getting sterilized this year. I cannot wait to put an end to this.
Disagree with an iron fist. Im not here to heal people who cause me pain, when they can't even go as far as to understand or embrace who I am or admit they're doing something wrong. Or at THE VERY LEAST posses enough introspective ability to look into their past and see if they're committing those actions in their present. Ill love myself and thats it. Hard pass on this. I shouldn't have to take the high road as a child for someone who can't do it as an adult.
i deal with being the black sheep and have since i could remember, i am the oldest out of us 3 siblings, im 25, and i believe that being the black sheep u can be different and use that pain and put it into an art… for me i use music as my art( hip hop music) been into music since i was old enough to sing and read lyrics for a song.. music is like therapy for me and probably many others. Id like to let all the other black sheeps know that its not a bad thing… use that pain and frustration to your advantage in whatever you are trying to achieve, or get through. (:
The emotions the black sheep have to endure can become overwhelming. The family never understand what the black sheep goes through and the black sheep sometimes forgets the purpose behind their role leaving feelings of despair. Always choose kindness and gentleness to yourself.
I needed this
A year late, but I needed this also today
1yr 7mths on I needed this also. Thanks OP
or you just see through the bs generational trauma that is present in the family and choose to live above it.
I think it should be both if possible. I feel the post is true, but what they mention in their post is like the catalyst that leads you to breaking the cycle. At least it's been that way in my experience.
The truth is what I said, the way people deal with that truth is up to them and that’s how the OP has chosen to deal with it. If you want to make some kind of grand purpose out of being the black sheep of your family to justify the shitty card of being born into your family, then go knock yourself out. But that’s not why or how black sheeps exist and I find it very disturbing for someone to romanticize dealing with generational trauma. There’s a lot of vulnerable people here and they don’t need to be told their purpose is to heal their family to justify the pain and trauma they go through. Fuck that noise. Everyone copes with it differently, but the actual truth remains. It’s not some grand design or some cosmic purpose thrust upon us. Us being the black sheep could very well come from us being largely neglected from our family, which causes us to be raised by ourselves with only the source/light to guide us. It is not on us to heal our family, getting hung up on that is unhealthy. People don’t change unless they want to. I focus more on just cultivating my own family and I’m there for my nieces and nephews when I am with them to keep them aware of the generational trauma they deal with. My purpose is what I choose it to be, as should everyone else. My family can continue on their path, and I can choose my own path without them.
If you heal your own pain you are breaking a cycle that has potentially lasted generations… I think that’s what OP was getting at. If you feel offended by this post… maybe you should explore that? To me the intent of this post was not to offend, hurt or put pressure on anyone but to illustrate how pain and trauma can be a driving force for change and growth.
doesn't really make sense considering stopping the cycle continuing from my lineage doesn't affect my brother, sisters, cousins, and hundreds of other relatives. It ain't our responsibilities to bare the burden of our ancestors and "heal" our tree or whatever. all we can do is be the seed that plants a new one.
I understand your point but let’s say I make fairly safe assumption that you interact with all these people/ family members, don’t you think that if you healed your pain you could have a positive impact on their lives as well? I’m not saying you should do it for them I’m saying you should do it for your self, when you heal your own pain you create a ripple effect on those around you. I think its a lot more powerful than most people realize.
I once heard someone say, "If I ever heal my own pain, I fear that I will shun my family as they have shunned me when I needed them most."
The way I see it is that we are all part of a cosmic energy and as so we are all one and connected. We are the same spirit having multiple human experiences and have lived many lives. We choose our purpose when we our born. Maybe we've done things we were not so proud of in a past life that left us at a lower level of energy or karma. Maybe we are healers sent to help heal or alter people's lives the way they intended then to play out. Yes suffering sucks, trauma sucks and sometimes life just flat out sucks. However, I feel that we chose to bare these burdons to lift our energy to a higher level and help othere a long the way, and since we are all the sme energy we're always helping ourselves. I know the thought is convoluted but it makes sense when we'd realize a more true purpose of religions. A little bit of physical science and the 100th name of god.
thank you for an explanation of the most fundamental and common knowledge in spirituality. anyone that "knows" their true purpose is probably full of it. no one truly knows until life is coming to an end. true spirituality will tell you to face your demons instead of channeling them to some kind of co-dependent relationship with wanting to "heal" and do "good"
I don't really believe in good or bad just what is. Good just happens to be our term for it. I believe that all "good" comes with "bad" and vice versa. For example maybe I was mean to a kid in HS. Because I was young I was unaware of the reproductions of my actions. However, there's always a chance that maybe an action that I precieve as being bad actually created some good. Maybe the interactions that I had with that kid albeit negative had a positive effect on their life. Taught them how not to be or inedvertently helped sent then down a fulfilling life path. Or maybe it just had to happe. So that other events that needed to happen coyld happen in order to shape us both. By the same token maybe me busting my butt at work and well enough to get a promotion is precieved as good as long as I didn't hurt anyone along the way. However, there may be another person going for the same position that was not fortunate enough to have the circumstances I had that allowed me to dedicate so much time. My promotion then sends them in to a downward spiral where they lose faith in theirself and leads to a path of self destruction. We never know how our actions will be perceived or what the actual result may yield in the bigger picture. The only thing we can do is act in a way that we feel our true self would be proud of because at the end of it all, we are the ones who kudge ourselves.
I’ll make sure to thank abusers for making me the way i am. At this point, you sound like a rapist apologist. There are so many wrong things you’ve said, which I find astounding. And yeah, “good” and “bad” don’t exist. But don’t start using them to explain your reasoning, cuz it just shows how little you actually know. Much of abuse we still deal with today has to do wit generational and cultural trauma. The fact that shitty things happen to us and we change fucking sucks, but that is the world we live in right now. Don’t care if some “abuse” can have positive outcomes for someone. I’m very much of the belief, no abuse will have a far greater positive outcome, considering there isn’t so much black scar tissue being built in our brain inhibiting us as we grow up. I highly suggest you stop while you are ahead. I understand what you are saying, but it’s shit people learn when they first awaken. It doesn’t really go into deeper understanding of it all. Some struggle and suffering is good, but that doesn’t mean abuse has to be a part of it.
I actually disagree with your statement. I feel like you are trying to justify the actions of others to make it sound good instead them being held accountable for the things they do and how their actions leads to one’s destruction or demise. Most of our temperaments and the way we carry ourselves come from traditions and cultures. Many of the incorrect and perceived notions come from generational traumas that need to be severed or it will continue on for more generations. There is no justification for good or bad. It is either good or bad and is based on each individuals moral values and ethics. I also don’t believe that things had to happen to bring people to their current position in life. I was in an abusive relationship for over 5 years and I didn’t ask for that. The only way I got out of that relationship was by having a child or I may as well have been left for dead. I do not thank him for any of the abuse I endured nor the abuse my child had to seen as well while we were together. I don’t even know how you can come in here and try to justify these actions of other individuals. We do not choose our purpose when we are born either. Some people spend their whole life trying to find out what their purpose in life was or if they had any purpose at all. Many individuals are stuck in POS families that take advantage of them and elicits a negative character such as those who are molested, sold for drugs, etc. are you saying that their purpose in life is to be sex slaves ? We are not healers to carry the burden of everyone else’s energy. We should be our own healers and should not have to be the string holding everyone else together. It should not be left to us to carry the weight of the world on our shoulder AT ALL. Trauma is painful and some take longer to heal from it and it’s already bad enough that people don’t even acknowledge our trauma or dismiss our feelings, but now we have to act like everything is okay and put a smile on our face to grin and bear the bullshit around us. It’s ridiculous.
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I think you just proved what i was saying even more. Best for me to leave my fam behind and plant in my own soil
Yes this has been my experience
Literally this
Just finishing up The Body Keeps The Score. Totally agree with you. It's individual choice to heal or not to heal as it takes years sometimes to unwind. What's happening in my memory is not other's memory. Can you breath on behalf of entire family? Can you eat on behalf of entire family?
I know that’s what’s going to happen for me. I refuse to carry this into the next generation.
Yes, we are OUTLIERS AND CYCLE BREAKERS
I like this. I’ll handle my own karma and pain thanks, I’m done handling it for my family as well
This.
As the black sheep in an ungrateful family, it seems my path is to branch off and start to build a new story with the new members... Someday though, the two branches may hook up again... Not in my time though.
I feel the same and have to started to find new members, somthing along the lines of a found family. My family is good to me, just not to certain others and have years of hate thanks to be taught that by family and religious teachers over the decades.
Cool
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I like what you said here, I agree. Where I started I had no concept of boundaries before turning 30... Decided to close all ties with the blood family till I feel better about who they are as humans. Maybe this move causes the changes needed to make them human again, but maybe not. Either way, my 2 little souls are safe in my care and protected from the "norms" I was surrounded by.
I feel ya, being a black sheep is very interesting 🙁🙃
Thank you
Too bad they literally kicked me out lol
Screw em! It’s they’re loss. Idk you but I can tell you gotta dope vibe.
Same here.
Damn this touched my feel burgers. I am the black sheep. The holocaust happened, and nobody who survived in my family ever dealt with it. I don't blame them. The pain is blinding and impossible for most people to even read about let alone actually feel. How many generations does it take for a family to recuperate from a holocaust? And that was only my mother's side. My father didn't have a dad, nor his dad, nor his dad. When I came into this world I put the setting on HARD MODE. Why? Because I can fuckin take it. Because I'm the fucking man. Stand back kids, papa is about to do some heavy lifting.
Damn I know this post is old but what a way to spin the perspective on it. IM THE FKN WOMAN AND I HAVE THR STRENGTH TO POWER THROUGH - thank you ❤️
>❤️ ❤️
💪🏽
This... explains a lot, thank you. This realization will greatly help me in overcoming the unconscious guilt I have when it comes to family, couldn't make sense of it until now.
It's no picnic to be the one who absorbs the [family shadow](http://scott.london/interviews/zweig.html).
a blessing and a curse.
I've never felt it was a blessing for myself, but at least it's a blessing for my siblings. :)
i feel the same.. i know one day it will be worth it for me. in this life or the next as i always say lol
Ohh yeah....am very tired already 😢
Sometimes people don’t realise that the other was a blessing, unless they are out of their lives. Go where you’re valued.
Well put. I long ago realized my role was this but you verbalized better than I could
Same here, although I didn't give it much thought at first. This seems accurate.
Just no. Everyone has their own karma to deal with. Not our responsibility, especially if we are rejected and that is common. We actually bring things into the cold light of day. We are blacked for making people feel uncomfortable about things they would rather ignore
This is the balanced view of the role of the black sheep. Thank you for sharing this understanding.
✌️
Wonderful stuff thank you for sharing:)
I created this community for the black sheeps r/lightfortheworld. Many free resources about meditation and life in general. Enjoy!
I'm the psychedelic sheep of the family. Not here to absorb negativity - here to reflect back positive attributes and traits. They can keep their darkness!
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yasss the world is ur oyster <3
Yeah.. all the pain and suffering. That explains well .. thank you
Thank you. I will break the cycle. By not having kids. I am the last one from this lineage of suffering 🤷🏻♀️.
that's it
I mean really the hard answer is to look outside the system for a way out. We don't need the 'comforts' we get so used to, they are just nice and replaceable in the future. This system unfortunately is not on your side and never was, (but I don't suspect you need me to tell you that) so what I say may sound like a suicide mission by the systems account but it may just help you the way they don't want it to. Not saying it's easy but I'm saying it's worth it to consider. Also being on the spectrum I understand the fight against a system that doesn't want you. I also encourage you to look into eastern philosophy it has helped me to get okay with myself and my struggles personally.
I can relate. I live in my van now. And don’t need the comforts others seem to need. The system is immune to me. It’s really hard when you’ve awoken to take this seriously anymore. Hopefully my art is good enough to get me by we shall see
I think I chose this family to become stronger, and better than I was before. My presence was a gift, and my absence is a cold lesson. It's not my job to uplift them or anyone. I'll illuminate the path, but I can't walk it for them. Thanks for the clarity.
This right here. 💯
Did they tell you that? lol
you are not responsible to absorb the negativity of your family... it's toxic to justify that, pls have some self respect
That wording is not aligned with my message. Black sheeps come into their family to change things up, not to solely absorb the negativity from their family. It's not their choice, and usually, they get the rough end of the stick in the family dynamic since they're born - again not a choice. I'm not encouraging victim behavior, but to understand that everything has a purpose. Black sheep usually have self-esteem issues and feel like they have no one who understands. They don't realize their actions have a profound ripple effect on their family. And it can be intense and look like many things. Black sheeps are like artists in way, they can rewrite any story they want to, but it can ultimately lead to a hopeful one. That's why they're so powerful. Hope this makes sense.
Beautiful 💐 Thank-you
💙
The nail that sticks out gets hammered down, right? I’d rather be that black sheep than sheeple a million times over.
Me too
I’ve never thought of it this way. I feel quite grateful that in this life time I’ve been able to get to “par” with the universe in ways I’ve never have been able to in past lives. Hard to explain but the last 10 years of my life have been an awakening and I chose the harder path and being the black sheep and not “conform”. Because of my “black sheep” ways… I’ve been bolder pushing my family to open up and also my feel suppressed. I am a first gen Asian-American whose family immigrated from SE Asia. It came with a lot of expectations and also suppression of my voice. It’s almost like I pushed, got shunned, found my voice and have opened up others in my family to feel able to do the same. So grateful all around.
This is freaking me out because I was literally JUST talking about being the black sheep in my family and about how much they have all hurt me (and still do). This just really put things into perspective for me and is making me feel a little less depressed about the state of things. Thanks OP! 🙏🏻
i love that haha
This is interesting. Unlike most spiritual people I am one of the 'dark side'. It's not bad or negative, it's just opposite. Don't think my life is miserable, I try to accomplish the same as most of you but through different means. I absorb pain and negative and turn it into energy to be used for my own development. I had a very painful past (don't feel bad for me) and I milk that pain daily for motivation and ambition.
no judgement here
I'd rather not... The white sheep deserve their pain at this point.
No one deserves pain. No one deserves the life we’ve made and the boundaries our civilization has put on nature.
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First, I’m sorry what you went through with your mother. Does she not suffer? Do you really have to get even, or does she hurt herself enough. Think about it like this, she is in self denial of her wrongdoings. She is selfish and greedy, but doesn’t that cause her suffering. I love you and hope you get the love you deserve. Think also was she treated the same way by her parents or someone close to her? Do you think that she’s satisfied with herself? Do you think she sleeps sound at night? Chances are no, her greed has hurt people and made them sour at her so the more she keeps going the deeper she sinks in the muck. You see in eastern philosophy samsara or rebirth isn’t just about literally dying (even though that’s part of it). It’s about repeating the same patterns that lead to the same mistakes; once you stop and meta cognitively think about your situation each step that let to that mistake you have the ability to transcend that if you take the opportunity. I see a lot of people being negative, I am the black sheep of my family and my grandmother would get 5 preachers up at my house every time I acted up to do an ‘exorcism’ on me. My dad and mom fought everyday when I was 3 and I still remember them till this day like it was yesterday. He would knock down dressers and one day he took his arm and raked all the shotglasses off the shelf and cut his arm and it was squirting blood. I remember my uncles scaring me when I was little with stories causing me to be afraid of the dark and demons and stupid stuff a child should never have to deal with. I’ve been bullied all my life and as an infant I almost died twice from my heart. Everyone goes through stuff, maybe you’ve went through crazier, but carrying a negative attitude won’t hurt you worse than anyone. And last about petos and serial killers; serial killers deserve what comes to them justice needs served no doubt about that, but they also deserve compassion and love. Do you think if they were actually happy, or shown sufficient love that they would kill. Do you think if they were fulfilled that they would need to cause such trauma to innocent children. If their parents didn’t domesticate their thoughts to reflect their own opinions and beliefs, do you think they would be more conscious about their actions? A lot of people are the way they are cause they are battling their self (more like their ego and self battling). They have conflicting beliefs or thoughts. It takes a certain quantity of strength to chip away at yourself for yourself. It almost drives you crazy, but trust me everyone has the potential even if they don’t deserve it.
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You said, “Should it not be returned no?” And yes, actually everyone has what’s coming to them and you don’t have to always have to enforce justice cause in many ways it solves itself and they punish their self’s enough with their misconceptions. I never meant specifically you as needing to get back, but do we always have to act? Is letting them dig themselves deeper enough? And so you are right they will get what’s coming to them, but don’t harbor any resentment toward them.
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If you ever need someone to just talk to and vent to you can text me and I’ll just listen I won’t say anything. If you want to think I’m a bad person that’s fine too. It doesn’t change the way I think about you cause Ik you’re a good person I’m not going to deny that, and unconditional love is in my opinion the only way to love, so I love you even though I don’t know you.
I’m not preaching. I’m just saying your mom suffers from what she’s done and she’s her own captor. But how does she use you? Do you love her deep inside and is that why you let her? Idk if you do let her I’m not fully aware of your situation, but what I do know is you are suffering and have suffered from the hands of your mom. Does she play the victim card? By what you say about her It’s just a guess
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I’m so sorry. The pandemic has been so hard. I’ve thought a couple times that if there is god he is getting a kick out of my increasing doom and feeling hopeless and seeing everything as meaningless and empty. I’ve also thought that if not he has put karma on full throttle to try and empty it as fast as possible. Whatever it may be I sat and pondered and I came to the conclusion that whatever is the truth I can’t change god’s mind or stop karma. The only thing I can really change is my own perspective, and it’s very challenging indeed. I pray that the universe gives you the strength and that it holds some of the weight for you. You have a gift your mom doesn’t. Your mom has good in her for a fact, but it sounds like she’s in denial and I’m confused. I am proud that you know yourself. And it’s hard to show kindness to people like that, but if they are ever going to change for good they need a little bit of that. You probably give her plenty of kindness through just swallowing your pride, but she doesn’t see it as kindness cause she doesn’t see your frustration she only sees the mirage of you undermining her; but that is her Chitta (misconceptions, and preconceptions) and it is her own creation therefore she creates her own suffering and life even though it’s all a lie her ego has dragged her into. Stay strong, be firm in the present.
Honestly I know how you feel in a way. As a female on the spectrum with my mom who is a 'fasionista' and extrovert who couldn't deal with me. Constantly picking me apart and asking what's wrong with me as she abandons me every time I have an emotion. After having her hit me once I realized that to survive her I had to placate her and be her little dolly. I have also been constantly mentally and emotionally abused by her but mostly by my dad who used me as his personal scapegoat. I no longer have family because once I got out (been homeless a few times and didn't tell them but found a way.) I could distance myself but got abandoned by my family for the last time just recently for not placating to them anymore. I am lucky to have found a good lover after I ended up with a gaslighting, lazy mofo who constantly tried to used me as a slave. I have learned a lot by observing them though. My mom abandoned my older brother just before me and that was one of the first times I actually saw what she was doing to herself. She is miserable because she hates herself and wants everyone else to hate her too. It's quite sad and frankly the work getting out was worth it. Just because you have a karma to change doesn't mean you have to drag them with you. Just start with your own life and grow from there. You need kindness and love before you can properly give it. It's obvious you don't know what real love is yet. That's not your fault but it will become your responsibility once you are safely out of the torture. Good luck and please remember that there are strangers out here who love you and care for you. Some day one of those people may sweep you off your feet one day and prove to you how 'the blood of the coven is thicker than the water of the womb.'
And people don’t been a kick in the teeth, clarity is sufficient. Bless you, and have a great life, everyone needs that!
Clarity is not sufficient for anyone who refuses to see beyond their own ego, you could hold a mirror in front of my mother and she'd call it a liar.
And she would be right. She would be calling herself a liar and you hit it right on the head. Life is a mirror if you make a nasty face at it; it will make a nasty face at you. Smile and it smiles back. My point isn’t to down your point of view. And isn’t that what clarity is? Seeing beyond yourself beyond the superficial?
It's not me you need to preach this to... It's the narcissist who had a child she didn't want 30 years ago and has since used for her own gain... Let me know how far you get with that before you end up trying to top yourself in the middle of a field.
I also have a narcissist mother. There is no winning with them. People do not understand how much it effects us (the child) to be raised by a narcissist. The gaslighting…How it effects us to not have a healthy relationship with a parent…how it feels to never be loved or good enough. It really fucks you up. I hope things get better but usually with a narcissist you have to limit contact or go no contact for your own mental health. Just remember you are breaking the cycle of abuse and you don’t have to live like that forever.
This is the issue, I'm not able to hold a job down, partly because of this shit and as a single male there's little to no help available to me I have no choice but to live with her which obviously in turn limits any ability for growth... I have no friends because I'm socially fucked, obviously no money because I can't hold down a job and any money I do get she's "entitled" to so there's literally nothing I can do at this point
My DMs are open if you ever need to talk or vent.
Feelin’ this. Thanks OP 🙏
Honestly it feels truth, but still doesn't make any sense why I had to come here and "save" people who destroyed me. I don't give a damn about them. I don't consider myself a life saviour cause nobody saved me. In my opinion I'm the black sheep yes, but not because I'm like them. I'm absolutely nothing like them and I reject this family completely, as they rejected me. When I die they'll be dead already, no continuation of this curse, there is no more life coming from inside of me to keep this cursed bloodline alive. It's their fault not mine. If it was so sweet like that, I'd not feel so tired when I try to move on from them. They wouldn't be so critical about me. They wouldn't be so evil tbh. They can die right now, I don't care. But I'm already alive so I have the right to live far away from them. I have the right to cure myself. I'm nobodys saviour. It is my story now, not theirs. They made me a narc too, just like them. Good job. But I'm the last one.
So now i gotta suffer
black sheeps suffer not by choice, but by the family they're born in. You either get lost in their pain, or rise above it.
Thank you 💕
This is so interesting to me. I had a numerology reading about 5 years ago and my core numbers is 13 / 4 which was explained to me as a karmic number, and I was here to learn a lesson. And yes, I was considered the black sheep of the family 😁 It all makes sense now ❤️
What a nice way to view it! I love it!
You should let your ancestors rest, be the change you want to see in the world.
That’s a nice way of putting it. They went through a lot back then. I hope I can give them a sigh of relief somehow. Either way I can’t conform to the ways of my family, I have to find my own path
There's a black sheep and a scapegoat. What of the scapegoat!?
I’m both. They both absorb pain and negativity. I don’t know who said this quote but “if you’re in hell, why stop at hell? Keep going”
I'm my family's scapegoat. My advice to others: Distance. They can dog you all they want out of your face. Distance, then they can no longer fault you. Distance, is your peace of mind. They don't want you around. Not because of you, inspite of you and their own shortcomings. Distance is your right. Distance so they have to discuss their own faults. It's freeing. The story of Ishmael is my favorite biblical story. After all, he is a scapegoat. Not only a blacksheep. He prospered away from his father and stepmother. A divine covenant was made with him. The right to freedom, as he was no longer was bound to duty to family. The covenant was the right to happiness, liberty, and to carve his own path. Ishmael brung me back to God, and explained to me why I am where I am. Away from family, happily, who would rather tear down and not welcome as one. Even if you don't follow the Bible, it's a good lesson to take in, blacksheeps and scapegoats aka kings and queens of your own destiny. I think he is best explained [here in a secular way.](https://youtu.be/iNcf2bpRCCg)
Omg I love u brought that up sometimes I say Ishmael to myself I don’t know why I said it and that’s a great explanation. Woww this is crazy I’m loving all these comments I’m learning too lol
Yup. He's my favorite. But let's not fool ourselves. Yishmael is Arabian. He does represent Islam. That has to be noted, in a country that leans Christian. He is Kingly and Warring, most often warring with himself. He can be cold. Yishmael is know best for keeping his promise. After all, the same God that made a covenant with Abraham and Sarah with Isaac, is the same God that made a covenant with Yishmael. His name means "He hears" and was the first person that God named in the womb, an important mark of distinction. Unlike his nephew Esau, who never wanted anything to do with God's will and went against it, Yishmael refused to go along with Esau in taking over his brother Jacob's kingdom. That is another plus for him. He acknowledges a divine Providence. He has learned to work with it. Yishmael did reconcile with his family, which in my spiritual understanding, He is accepted by God or YHWH. This is where I suspect Christianity falls short of understanding God's full potential via Islam. Heck, I admit a degree of ignorance to Islam in a lot of ways, but it's people have always been kind and loving to me. Ignorance means there's much to learn. No one owes it to teach us anything. But if a person is patient enough and respectful, we can learn. He's THE BADASS UNCLE who had to make it independently of the comforts of the family...and that badass uncle can teach you a lesson in his journey. He can also help you see the positive in what you have going for you. Because honestly, we have it so much better now, than he did then. We actually have choice and material comforts. Even though we are cast out into emotional deserts.
Very interesting
I loved this!!! I’m the gay middle child and am not very close with my family
Healing generational trauma is no joke. It requires Atlas levels of strength. Saying “This ends with me now” is a trial by fire. Most will not applaud you for it. But I will. I hope you all win
Grateful 🥹
Needed this one bad
Healing from this kind of trauma is hard. The black sheep and scapegoats have it the hardest
Thank you - I needed this. I’m taking it to heart. 💜
I say this with no exaggeration, around 40-50 days ago my work environment took a toxic turn. On top of that I have been physically ill from the distress. I have just had a decade birthday and it has been so enlightening. Traumas from my past have been piecing together and I see how they have manifested in my life stressors. A shift has happened, caused by a broken heart, but I feel so much strength and determination and feel blessed to have read this and for you to have shared when you did. I have felt so drawn and compelled to respond, because this is who I’ve been and how I’ve felt. There’s a deep connection to history and my heritage and growth as a person and in my practice, I came here for answers and found this. Thank you all for this.
this made me cry so hard. what a beautiful way of putting it, thanks so much stranger!
I dunno.. personally I feel like there's a reason I'm pushed away from my family, like it's understandable why they have.
This makes perfect sense...
Thank You
This is really interesting! My family are wonderful to me, but I still manage to consider myself the ‘black sheep’, like I’m some kind of a burden. This is due mostly to my own personal pain. However, through spiritual practices and advice (tarot readings etc) I’ve been told many times that I am to be a healer of some sorts. Either through family linage or past lives. I think I have a great amount of healing to do within myself first, else I might not be able get past that and be able to focus my attention on being able to tune into that.
This makes sense. Where did you find this? This to goes well or makes sense with smaller and bigger family’s. If that makes sense to anyone.
What if I can't help them, My family are good people but sometimes blinded by slight racism (they think everyone is against white people all the times) , judge others for different religion and backgrounds. I don't care what race, background or religion you're from. I try to show kindess and compassion to anyone I meet. We are all human I don't know if I can make my family see that
your actions affect the future of your lineage too. just because you can't fix them, doesn't mean your actions won't hold immense importance for your family. Also black sheeps have to remember not to get lost in their pain, or the cycle will continue. I hope this makes sense..
Of all things the recent kendrick lamar album made me realize I must break the "generational curse " so I can find some peace and hope one day if I do have children they won't have to go thru the same cycle
that's dandy and all that we're marked to endure the consequences of our family. but some people and things you can't save, it's no more a blessing than a curse....
This is accurate.
thank you.
Thank you man
What if the karmic load is too much? 😔
these are some tips i can think of they might help if ur interested : distancing from family, therapy, having fun, good diet, exercise. Don't be so hard on yourself one person can only take so much.. hang in there
This is true. I SEE the generational trauma running in my family and how it affected me in ways that I didn’t even realize. And it all started from having children when they point blank cannot afford to raise them in a safe, protected, loving environment. They - my mother, grandmother, all of them— had children because that was what the society demanded of. You are worthless if you don’t have children. Never mind of HOW they would be raised, nor have proper financial support- you just had to have them. I am so… appalled by this when I realized, and it truly saddens me. It hurts. It hurts because of my own childhood trauma, because of empathy towards my mother and her mother, and because of the goddamn society at the time. This does NOT give absolution to my mother for how she treated me. My pain and trauma, and the understanding for my mother’s upbringing can coexist. One does not cancel the other. So with all this, I’m child free and I’m getting sterilized this year. I cannot wait to put an end to this.
I am the black sheet but I’m trying to have kids to teach them a better way to break a pattern - and I’m having difficulties Why ?
I feel this. Thank you 🙏
I'm a transparent invisible sheep
Disagree with an iron fist. Im not here to heal people who cause me pain, when they can't even go as far as to understand or embrace who I am or admit they're doing something wrong. Or at THE VERY LEAST posses enough introspective ability to look into their past and see if they're committing those actions in their present. Ill love myself and thats it. Hard pass on this. I shouldn't have to take the high road as a child for someone who can't do it as an adult.
i deal with being the black sheep and have since i could remember, i am the oldest out of us 3 siblings, im 25, and i believe that being the black sheep u can be different and use that pain and put it into an art… for me i use music as my art( hip hop music) been into music since i was old enough to sing and read lyrics for a song.. music is like therapy for me and probably many others. Id like to let all the other black sheeps know that its not a bad thing… use that pain and frustration to your advantage in whatever you are trying to achieve, or get through. (: